Dimensional Links
by ChangelingRin
Summary: Centuries after Demise was sealed in the Master Sword, he reforms himself to find that his Hatred Incarnations have been utterly useless. He decides to take things into his own hands-and in the process tears holes in reality itself. To save the Universe, the Goddesses turn to their last hope: the Hero. Except this time, they're not sending just one - they're sending all of them.
1. Prologue

**ATTENTION: I AM CURRENTLY IN THE PROCESS OF REWRITING THIS STORY ****DUE TO QUALITY ISSUES AND PLOT-HOLES.**** THE PROLOGUE AND CHAPTERS 1-10 HAVE BEEN UPDATED, AND I AM WORKING ON CHAPTERS 11-20 AND 42. AS SUCH, THINGS MAY SEEM A BIT JUMBLED DEPENDING ON WHERE I'M AT IN THE REWRITE PROCESS. YOU CAN, OF COURSE, READ ON ANYWAYS - AND I HOPE YOU DO.**** IT'S WORTH IT, I PROMISE :)**

* * *

Demise was absolutely furious.

Granted, this wasn't anything new. Lots of things made Demise angry. The Kikwis, for one, had always annoyed him, and for the record the Gorons weren't much better. Sunshine innately ticked him off. Plans being foiled made him murderous even on his best days. The very concept of life in general was, in his opinion, the worst thing the goddesses had ever come up with because it had resulted in so many of the things that he hated. Like Kikwis.

Demise _hated_ the Kikwis.

So the fact that he was angry really wasn't anything that hadn't already happened multiple times before. It was the reason _why_ he was angry that was worth noting.

After millennia spent reconstituting and extricating himself from within the Master Sword – it'd had to be done very delicately, lest the goddesses notice – he'd finally succeeded in pulling himself together. But instead of being met as the conquering ruler of all creation, he was instead presented with the absolutely disgusting legacy of the Hero.

Specifically, the Hero whom he'd cursed so long ago. The Hero who, from what he could tell, was impossible for his Hatred Incarnations to defeat. The Hero who was responsible for his legacy failing time and time again despite _everything_ he'd given them-!

Demise took a moment to calm down, since in his rage, he was idly burning away the very fabric of reality around him. It wouldn't do to reveal his location so soon after his escape, especially not if he wanted to stay escaped for longer than ten minutes.

The point was that a great number of things, mostly named Ganondorf, were tap-dancing on his very last nerve. His Hatred Incarnations were just that: incarnations of his hatred. They were literally embodying the force of his emotions and channeling his rage.

So WHY IN THE NAME OF EVERYTHING HE HATED DID THEY KEEP FAILING!?

He could count on ONE HAND the amount of times any of his Incarnations had succeeded, and the worst part was that NONE of those times had been permanent! The longest one had lasted approximately seven glorious years before the Hero had resurfaced and put _that sword_ (which ironically, Demise had been trapped inside of at the time; he'd spent the entire fight screaming profanities at both the Hero and his Incarnation depending on who was annoying him more in the moment) straight through his Incarnation's head.

Demise realized he was obliterating reality again and made a concentrated effort to stop. If he kept losing control like this the goddesses were sure to find him.

The most curious part about that particular Incarnation was that he hadn't even been close to being the only one to get stabbed through the head. It was a concerningly large trend he'd noticed over the centuries, and it only served to make him more fed up. At what point did the _idiotic_ excuses for his Incarnations think it was a good idea to leave their skulls unprotected?

Cocky and overconfident, that's what they were, Demise decided. Clearly not suited for the task he had intended so long ago. Luckily, he was now free to take over where they had... failed.

...Keeping his cool while continuing this thought train was proving a lot more difficult than he'd initially thought. However, he was Demise, Demon King and He Who Causes Much Screaming. He could handle his own emotions.

Therefore, Demise returned his attention to the problem at hand. If he wanted to make _any _progress in his mission to destroy the universe, he had some issues to take care of. Most of them were named Ganondorf. And Demise was about to fix everything they'd ever done wrong.

At their core, the only thing that his Hatred Incarnations really _were_ were pieces of himself, split off and given their own agendas to conquer the world while he was gone. This of course had failed spectacularly (Demise felt his eye twitch at the thought), and so the Demon King was going to take matters into his own hands.

He was going to reabsorb them.

A simple matter, he thought to himself. Wouldn't take more than five minutes at the most.

He reached out into the reality of the Universe and wrapped his hand – or rather, the manifestation of his hand – around the first of his Incarnations, an odd little purple creature who had chosen the designation 'Vaati'. He gave the Incarnation a tug.

Nothing happened. Demise frowned; that was unusual. It felt as though the universe itself was resisting him.

Well, no matter. He was, after all, Demise, Destroyer of Worlds, Burner of Reality, and He Who Made The Honey Badger Feel Fear. The universe was made to bow to his wishes.

With this thought in mind, Demise gave his Incarnation a sharp jerk. The purple creature came free with relative ease and was promptly absorbed. Demise gave a satisfied nod.

Then he noticed the hole.

Sitting in reality where 'Vaati' had been was a hole, utterly black and slowly, inexorably growing. Demise raised an interested eyebrow and stretched a hand towards the object. It was... a void, he realized. Caused by the impossible contradiction of something integral to the very fabric of existence suddenly and violently ceasing to be.

Demise felt a grin grow on his face.

While destroying reality and everything in it had always been his goal in godhood, there were a vast amount of things that always got in the way. Nearly all of them wore green, had pointed ears, and had an infuriating ability to always be in the wrong place at the wrong time with exactly the right set of skills to stop him.

This, however, was a reality-devouring hole powered by a universe-shattering paradox. Demise sincerely doubted something like that could be stopped with a mere metal sword and a green floppy hat.

And if _all_ his Hatred Incarnations produced this kind of response in the Universe...

Demise's former grin turned vicious. In one violent snap on his arm, he ripped every single Hatred Incarnation that had ever existed out of their places in time and sucked them all in, ignoring the tiny insignificant screams of rage and confusion that they made. Just as he'd hoped, the resulting chaos in the fabric of reality tore open multiple other voids, all identical to the first.

The vicious grin turned into equally vicious laughter.

He couldn't _wait_ to see how that so-called _'Hero'_ tried to deal with this.

* * *

Nayru, Keeper of the Triforce of Wisdom, Lady of Knowledge and Watcher of Time, cringed and clutched at her head.. Her temporal senses, normally calm (unless the Hero of Time had gotten himself into another paradox again) were suddenly screaming at her that _SOMETHING WAS VERY WRONG._

As cringing was not a behavior normally exhibited by Nayru, her two sisters immediately took notice.

"Nayru?" Farore asked. "What's wrong?" As the Keeper of the Triforce of Courage and Lady of Life, she had been designated as the one who usually asked questions, mainly because her sisters had said, 'Courage means being brave enough to ask Hylia if her Hero boyfriend has proposed yet'. Needless to say, _that_ particular question had ended in an all-out prank war which Hylia had managed to win despite being reincarnated as a mortal at the time. And somehow, Farore had never quite managed to lose that reputation of being The One To Ask The Questions.

The green goddess glared up at something above her head and determinedly pulled the plot back on track by anxiously waiting for her sister to respond.

"...Not sure," Nayru managed, cradling her temples in her hands. From what she could tell, there was only the one anomaly and although it was significantly dangerous it wasn't going to be impossible to-

Her thought train was viciously derailed as her temporal senses _SHRIEKED _and skyrocketed in their insistence that _SOMETHING IS NOT VERY WRONG SOMETHING IS __**HORRIBLY IRREVOCABLY WRONG. **_Nayru doubled over and all but collapsed to the floor, trying desperately to think past her senses but failing spectacularly.

"Nayru!"

That was her other sister, Din, the Keeper of the Triforce of Power and Lady of Earth. She was forceful, loud-spoken, and fiercely protective of the things she deemed important. Nayru happened to be one of those things, and Din only wished that the reason Nayru was in pain was a physical being so that she could punch it.

"I'm fine!" Nayru gasped, forcing her senses to calm down. They subsided reluctantly, still insistent on warning her that _SOMETHING WAS HORRIBLY WRONG_, but as far as Nayru was concerned they could do that quietly.

"I'm fine," she repeated, in a more normal voice. "My temporal sense just went haywire, that's all."

"That's all?" Din repeated, eyebrows raised and voice highly skeptical. "You were on the ground! Writhing!'

"What could possibly make you react like that?" Farore cut in.

Nayru's face twisted. "Something's happened to the timeline. Something big."

There was a moment of silence. Then all three sisters lunged for the portal that led to the universe, as opposed to the primordial space that was what the deities called home. There was a brief moment of shoving before Din, being the strongest, won and peered through the window at their creation.

"We really need to make that thing bigger," Farore muttered. Nayru nodded ruefully in agreement.

A few moments later, Din stepped back, face white, and wordlessly motioned for her sisters to look. Another minute later had all three of them in mute shock, sitting and staring as they processed what they'd seen.

"...That," Nayru said eventually, "is most definitely horribly irrevocably wrong."

"It looks like swiss cheese," Din said. "It's so riddled and mottled..."

"How did this happen?" Farore whispered. "Why didn't we notice?"

"I did," Nayru said, looking rueful. "But since it was very painful I'm not going to gloat about it like I normally would."

Thanks sis," Din said dryly.

"One would have been manageable," Farore mused, getting the conversation back on track. "We could have handled that without worrying about the Interference Laws. But this... there's no way. There's absolutely no way."

"And we all know there's only one person who can cause this type of thing," Nayru said grimly. "I'm going to ignore the fact that we previously thought it impossible on the grounds of his being imprisoned because that line of thought is clearly faulty and instead point out that we don't have the power to match him."

"Hello? Goddess of Power sitting over here? I _invented_ the stuff," Din snorted. "I think we could take Demise no problem."

Farore cleared her throat. "You put the majority of it into the Triforce."

Din paused and scowled darkly. "Why the heck did I think that was a good idea!?"

"Demon War," Nayru coughed.

Din growled and subsided into discontented mutterings.

"We do know someone who's faced him before though," Farore pointed out. "Courage's first aspect did admirably."

"That was before Demise gained millennia more experience and power," Nayru sighed. "Besides that, the first time Demise wasn't fighting at his full strength. He's a god, just like us. He was humoring Courage and purposefully limiting himself to have some fun. He lost because he underestimated Courage the first time, and we all know that won't happen again."

"You need to stop bringing your Wisdom into this," Din grumbled, rejoining the conversation. "It's making me depressed."

Farore frowned as she took that in. "Well... what about all of them?"

Her sisters stared at her.

"...What?" Din asked intelligently. "I could have sworn you just suggested sending _all_ of Courage after Demise, but since I _know_ you're smarter than that I'm going to ask you to repeat that so I can fix my ears."

"No, hear me out," Farore argued. "This is what Courage_ does_. He fights to keep the world safe. Imagine what he could accomplish if all his aspects gathered together to take down their enemy."

"Chaos of a collapsing timeline as the Universe snaps in half due to an irreparable temporal paradox," Nayru said.

"Isn't it already doing that though?" Farore asked slyly.

Nayru opened her mouth, stopped mid-syllable as Farore's words registered in her head, and gave her sister an irate glare.

"She got you," Din teased, giving Nayru an elbow nudge. Nayru swatted her away irritably-but-good-naturedly.

"...You have a point," she grudgingly conceded. "And I guess things can't really get worse from here, as far as breaking the universe goes. But why Courage? Why not Power or Wisdom?"

Din cleared her throat before Farore could answer. "About that... Power's gone."

Her sisters gaped. "How long has that been a thing!?" Farore sputtered. Din grimaced.

"It turns out that most of those holes correspond to where Power is supposed to be. He's not going to be much help, sorry girls."

"Well... Wisdom's still an option."

"She's not a fighter," Farore said. "She's a thinker, a planner. She sets schemes into motion to handle her problems with someone else. I'm not saying she isn't an asset, because she is, and no doubt Hyrule would have been lost dozens of times without her. But Demise won't give her the time she needs to set any kind of plan into action, and he definitely won't give her time to talk. He knows what words can do."

"Whereas Courage will meet him on the battlefield, where hopefully his superior numbers will be enough to equal Demise's superior skill," Nayru finished slowly. "...You're right."

"Where should we start then?" Din asked.

Farore pondered that for a moment, then turned to Nayru and, in an effort to make her sister feel better about the whole mess, asked, "Is there any point on the timeline to have Courage meet himself that will do the least amount of damage?"

Nayru furrowed her brow and consulted her temporal senses. A large majority of them were still screaming about the voids, but she was able to focus enough to get the answer she was looking for.

"Start at the most recent end," she said eventually. "That's got the least amount of damage at this point, so if this whole idea turns out to be a terrible mistake the universe might be stable enough that we can contain it."

"Got it," Farore said, reaching out to her Attribute as she spoke.

Courage was going to be in for his biggest adventure yet.

* * *

**(7/12/16)**

**So... I'm re-editing. Again.**

**It's occurred to me that, not only is my current quality **_**vastly**_** different from my First-Twenty-Chapters quality, but I've also made some horrendous plot-hole mistakes along the way. Therefore, I'm going to fix it.**

**Here's hoping I can do a better job this time around.**

** Changeling.**


	2. The One Who Got Split

**Disclaimer goes here. Not that I'm going to actually put one here, because you all know I don't own LoZ. And if for some reason you thought I did; what kind of rock do you live under?**

* * *

The point which Nayru specified, at the very end of the timeline which doubled as what is generally known as the 'present', was inhabited by an aspect of Courage who, due to a somewhat bizarre set of circumstances, was operating as himself divided into different bodies. This was because of an item called the Four Sword; a rather uncreatively named weapon that did exactly what it's name said – split its wielder into four people. Link, being both the wielder and the local Courage aspect, was now effectively four different boys named Green, Blue, Vio, and Red.

Perhaps it was a naming trend of their particular time, but their names were equally as uncreative as their swords'. Red was named as such because his clothes were red. Blue had been so entitled because his clothes were blue. Green wore green, and Vio wore purple. It could be a matter of interest to note that Vio, unlike his counterparts, had a fairly original name if one thought about it, but the reality was that he had simply refused to be named 'Purple' and 'Violet' had sounded like a girl's name. Regardless, he had the unique distinction of having a nickname for his nickname.

None of them chose to comment much on their given titles though, because Red had been the one to come up with them. And if there was one thing that was extremely difficult to do, it was to turn Red down. He had a startlingly accurate Adorable Puppy face, and it was the great misfortune of Vio, Green, and Blue to have a severe weakness to adorable puppies. As a result, the names went uncontested.

The matter of names, however, was of very little consequence as far as the four Links were concerned. In part, this was because at this point, they just didn't care anymore, but most of the reason came from the fact that finally, _finally_, they were on their way to rescue Princess Zelda.

She was their childhood friend, as Link's father was the Captain of the Royal Guard and as such Link and Zelda had spent a good amount of time together when they were younger. Link may have even had a small crush at some point – before Vaati had kidnapped her, that is. Then Shadow Link had appeared, Link had drawn the Four Sword, the crush had probably gotten lost somewhere among the dividing of his base personality into four separate bodies, and after a _lot_ of issues between his new selves they'd eventually gotten themselves on track and... mostly working together.

Case in point, they were currently climbing the exhaustingly tall mountain that Vaati had made his lair atop of, and were passing the time in their usual fashion.

That is to say, arguing.

"All I'm saying," Blue said, "is that my swordsmanship is _clearly_ better than yours."

"According to what parameters?" Vio replied dryly.

"I kill more things than you."

"_You_ hack and slash at your target with all the precision of a brick," Vio retorted. "_I_, on the other hand, fight with finesse."

"Isn't that an illness?" Blue asked, aiming to rile his counterpart up. Unfortunately for him, Green chose that moment to intervene.

"Both of you, stop it!" he snapped. "You both fight fine! Now shut up and concentrate on climbing, because the sooner we get to the top the sooner we can get Zelda back."

Green had - at some point during their adventure, nobody was quite sure when – established himself as the de facto leader of their little group. Most of the time he did a pretty good job, and this was the reason that Blue reluctantly obeyed and settled for grumbling to himself instead, while Vio simply crossed his arms.

Red walked behind Green and in front of Blue and Vio, smiling to himself and humming happily. While at first a dispute like this one would have alarmed him, by now he was used to his counterparts' antics and could easily tell whether or not a conflict was serious.

They all walked in silence for a while, except for the occasional heavy breath from someone. They were by no means out of shape, but climbing a mountain was strenuous for the obvious reason that _it was a mountain_. You don't just climb those things and _not_ get out of breath. That's inhuman.

However, since the four boys were in fact hylian, they were naturally exempt from this rule and reached the peak with no problems whatsoever.

The top of the mountain had the typical villainous color scheme, with dark rocks and overcast clouds. Why exactly all villains needed overcast clouds was a mystery to them, but it just seemed like something villains did.

The problem with this particular villainous lair, however, was that it appeared to lack the villain.

"...Shouldn't Vaati be here?" Red asked after surveying the area and finding a distinct lack of large purple bat. "Did we climb the wrong mountain?"

"No, this is the right mountain," Vio replied, although he was already poring over their map to be absolutely sure. "This is definitely the right mountain."

It was also, as a point of interest, the only mountain.

"Well then..." Green said slowly. "Let's investigate."

Instinct honed by getting attacked by multiple unpleasant things multiple times grouped them together as they carefully advanced onto the center of the peak. There was no sign of Vaati; in fact, there was no sign of anybody. Considering that Vaati had been supposedly holding Princess Zelda with him, this was a concerning situation. The four of them exchanged glances and, on an unspoken signal, spread out across the mountaintop to cover more ground.

Of course, since this only lasted for about ten seconds, it was worth wondering whether it'd even been relevant as Red came sprinting back the way he'd came yelling, "GUYS! GUYS! GUUUUUUYYYYYYYS!"

"WHAT!?" Blue bellowed, racing to his brother's (supposed) defense. "WHAT'S HAPPENING AND WHO NEEDS PUNCHING!?"

"Guys, I almost fell in a hole!" Red gasped.

Immediately, his three fellow Heroes dropped their guard and frowned at him.

"Red, that's not exactly emergency material," Green said.

"Certainly not 'sprint back this way and scream about it' material," Vio agreed. "What have we told you about overreacting?"

"That it's usually not as bad as I think it is and I should wait and get the whole story before panicking," Red recited. "But guys, I'm being serious! There's this hole in the air and it's _really_ big!"

Vio blinked. "It's in the _what?_"

"How can it be in the air?" Blue asked, confused. "Can air even have holes?"

"I dunno, but it's big and black and it's floating and I almost walked straight into it."

"...Show us," Green decided.

"It's really weird," Red continued as he led the way across the rocks. "It's like it just cuts off the whole mountaintop and there's this empty stuff there instead."

"Red, that's impossible," Vio informed him. "Empty voids don't just happen in the middle of an atmosphere, and there's _nothing_ in Hyrule that could cause a – Sweet Din that's an empty void."

He stared at the impossible rift blankly as his brain devoted all the processing power to processing and comprehending what his eyes were insisting was there. It went against every physics textbook he'd ever read.

"See?" Red said. "Empty void. Weird, right?"

Green took a cautious step forward, eyes narrowed. "Yeah... really weird. It's bizarre, actually. It's like gravity doesn't even effect it."

This was in fact one of the reasons why Vio was having such a hard time accepting it, as defying gravity was one of those things that went against all the previously mentioned physics textbooks. There had to be some sort of thrust for it to be doing what it was doing, but it was a void, which meant that it _couldn't _have thrust because the inherent nature of the void meant that it was pulling instead, which meant that defying gravity ought to, by all means, be impossible.

Except for the fact that it clearly wasn't.

Blue frowned at the hole, stooped down, and scooped up a small rock laying near his feet. He tossed it in his hand a couple times, then lobbed the stone with all his might.

The stone proceeded to completely vanish from all existence. Everyone's jaws dropped.

"Okay," Green said. "_Nobody touch the hole._"

His three brothers nodded stunned agreement.

"...This still doesn't explain where Vaati is, though," Blue pointed out after a moment. "Or Zelda, for that matter."

"You don't think she fell in, do you?" Red worried. "I mean, I almost did..."

"Alright, split up," Green ordered. "Look for Zelda, and keep an eye out for Vaati in the meantime. Don't do anything stupid, and for the love of the Sacred Realm _don't try to take on Vaati alone._"

He paused, then added, "That means you, Blue."

Blue snorted. "What do you take me for, a kitten or something? I can totally take Vaati if I tried."

As he said this, however, Green fixed him with one of his Leader's Stares, which were specifically designed to make the target reconsider their words and think about the more important things, like cheese, the lifespan of a wombat, and how painfully his leader would bring him back to life and kill him again if he ever did something so abysmally stupid as to get himself killed in the first place. Faced with this look, Blue did the smart thing and amended his previous statement with, "I promise I won't do anything stupid without thinking about it first."

Green glared at him. "You mean you won't do anything stupid at all."

"I make no promises."

Green pegged him with another glare, then subsided since he knew that was about as good of a acceptance from Blue as he was going to get.

"Just stay safe, okay guys?" he sighed.

"Yes mother," Vio said, smirking before jogging off in a randomly but probably very scientifically chosen direction. Red, on the other hand, beamed earnestly and carefully gave the hole a wide berth before heading off in a different direction. And Blue, after subtly checking that Green was over their little issue (he was), set off as well.

Green took a deep breath, faced the last remaining directional option, and, hoping that his siblings would be alright, stepped forward.

* * *

"Princess?" Vio asked softly, pushing his way through some small, scraggly, and somehow-not-dead-yet trees on the far side of the mountaintop. "Are you here?"

The only thing he received in reply was his echo.

Vio sighed and ran a hand through his bangs. He'd really thought there was a good chance she'd be in here, perhaps hiding from Vaati after a cleverly constructed escape. He wouldn't put it past her; she was, after all, extraordinarily clever.

After another minute spent scouring the thin growth for signs of life, Vio gave up and moved on – or rather, he tried to. Unnoticed by him until it was far too late, one of the scraggly branches of the trees had become hooked in the fabric of his hat. When Vio moved away, his hat noticeably did not follow him.

Vio's first reaction to having his hat removed by an outside force was to automatically assumed Vaati was attacking, and his resulting response carved a deep slice into three different trees and cleared all the shrubbery within a five-foot radius. It did not, however, dislodge his hat.

Once he realized what had happened, Vio spent a moment being thankful that none of his brothers had been there to see his embarrassing display, then reached up and attempted to tug his hat free.

'Attempted' being the operative word, because his hat remained firmly stuck.

Vio's mouth tugged into a frown, and he gave his hat a sharper pull. Nothing happened. He looked around for a moment, rolled over a dead stump, and stood on the wood to try and disentangle the fabric that way. The problem was that, in his earlier tugging, he'd firmly trapped his hat around the wood in the process.

Vio's frown turned into a full-blown scowl. Yes, Zelda was important, and yes, if she ever found out about this he would probably get into _so_ much trouble.

But this tree had messed with his hat. This had just gotten personal.

* * *

Blue scratched behind his ear absently as he poked around in the rocks. He still hoped, sort of, that he would find Vaati and be able to smack the living daylights out of him for everything he'd put them through. He had many reasons for wanting this, one of which was bad judgement. But another, much more sensible one was that he was the best fighter of the group, and if anyone stood a chance facing Vaati alone, it was him. He would much rather get ambushed himself than have it be Red.

He would rather have a lot of things happen if it wouldn't happen to Red. Then again, he would rather have a lot of things happen if it wouldn't happen to Green or Vio either.

"Geez I'm sappy," Blue muttered to himself, poking around more rocks. One of said rocks, upon being poked, let out a startled squeal (which Blue matched, not that he would _ever _admit that to anyone) and uncurled to reveal itself to be a sleepily-blinking Bokoblin, who promptly attempted to run Blue through the stomach. Blue returned the favor by chopping off the creature's arm.

The bokoblin shrieked, which, considering it had just lost a limb, was a perfectly reasonable response. But the other reason for the shriek made itself known as several other monsters poked their heads out from under, behind, and over the field of rocks and scurried to join the fight.

Blue blinked once, slowly, and it occurred to him that he'd just stumbled onto what was probably Vaati's monster army, which finally explained where all the minions had come from in all those temples. A slow grin spread across his face.

"You wanna play, huh?" he asked, casually raising his sword and sliding his shield off his back in the same smooth motion. "Alright. Let's play."

* * *

After searching a couple alcoves and surveying the general area, Green concluded that the only thing inhabiting this section of the mountain other than himself were rocks and a few small lizards with exceedingly bad judgement in home locations. He let out a frustrated huff of air and stalked off to find out how the others were doing. In the distance, he could see Vio struggling with... a tree?

That seemed interesting, Green decided, and kicked his pace up into a jog, arriving at his destination a few moments later.

"Why are you losing a game of tug-of-war to a tree?" he asked in an amused tone, causing Vio to jump a good six inches into the air in surprise.

"Because," Vio grunted, pulling, "it's a very tough and scraggly tree and my hat is very stuck to it, and I'm afraid that if I pull too hard I'll rip the fabric."

Green winced at the thought of a ripped hat. "Well... have you tried better leverage?"

The look Vio gave him was drier than a desert. "Of course I tried better leverage. That was the _first_ thing I tried. Who do you take me for, Blue?"

"Hey, Blue's pretty smart," Green argued. "He just puts it towards swordplay and things."

"Yeah, I know," Vio conceded. "Now, have you got any better suggestions?"

Green took a step backwards and surveyed the tree. While it was quite short, twisted, and knobbly, it was also just tall enough that getting Vio's hat back was a piece of work. But because it was short, twisted, and knobbly, it was also a _fantastic_ climbing tree.

"I'm gonna see if I can get at it from above," Green decided, and set about doing just that. He got up the trunk and onto the branch just fine, but on his way out to the hat's location his leg slipped, sending him sliding towards the ground – until the strap that held his scabbard on his back got caught on a large protruding knob in the bark.

Green now found himself dangling about five feet off the ground, held up by a piece of equipment that he couldn't reach and a piece of tree that he couldn't break. Flailing proved to be of no use either, as it only resulted in him swinging a bit. He finally gave up after a few minutes and just let himself hang limply.

"Little help?" he asked plaintively.

Vio, in between snickers, reached up and gave Green's leg a strong tug – only to have Green's boot come off his foot instead and smack him in the face. Vio went down hard with a bruise on his forehead, and Green was left with a rapidly-getting-cold foot and a significant lack of a way down.

And through it all, Vio's hat hadn't budged.

"This tree is an evil mastermind," Green muttered.

* * *

Unlike the others, Red was having a nicely uneventful search. The hole scared him, for obvious reasons, so he was basically looking wherever was farthest away from it.

Ironically enough, this turned out to be the right idea as he found Zelda sealed inside a crystal prison, floating serenely an inch or two off the ground at the very highest point on the mountain. Her eyes were shut, and if it weren't for the fact that she was being held against her will, Red would have assumed she was sleeping while standing up.

None of this, however, dampened Red's natural enthusiasm, and he let out an exuberant squeal at the sight of his missing Princess.

"Zelda! You're okay!"

He rushed up to the crystal and gave it a hug. But despite this adorable display of affection, Zelda abjectly failed to respond.

This might have been due to the solid rock she was stuck inside, but really it could have been any number of things.

Red noticed this about ten seconds into the hug, and his eyebrows furrowed in worry. "Zelda? Can you hear me?"

Zelda proceeded to do absolutely nothing.

Red reached out and tapped on the crystal, producing a pleasant _tink_ noise, but getting no other response. He frowned. Clearly this was in the way of Zelda being free... the question was, how did he release her?

"Hold still," he warned her. Since she was already doing this, it wasn't much of a problem. She could have been a champion in musical statues.

Red drew his sword and carefully poked the stone with it, producing a louder _tink_ but not much else. He tried again, harder this time. The _tink_ turned into a _tinnnnnggg_, but that was about the only difference.

Now getting mildly annoyed that he couldn't free the Princess, Red began slashing at the crystal in earnest. Aside from making a lot of musically pleasant bell noises, which inadvertently ended up playing the 'You Got The Thing!' jingle that always popped up whenever they got a new item, nothing happened.

Red spent a few minutes cycling through his other items, which ranged from blasting it with fire and ice to just knocking his head against it in sheer frustration, before it occurred to him that Vio would probably know what to do.

With this thought in mind, Red bounced down the mountain's peak yelling, "GUYS, GUYS, GUUYYYYYS!" at the top of his lungs.

* * *

Blue was on the winning streak of his life.

When he'd stumbled onto Vaati's minion army, he'd stumbled onto _all_ of Vaati's minion army. Everything that he and his counterparts hadn't already killed in some dungeon or another was literally right here practically begging to be chopped to pieces, and Blue was all too happy to oblige. He was already in the eighties somewhere – the Keese he'd just killed made eighty-four – which blew his previous record of fifty-seven straight out of the water, and to his delight the enemies didn't seem inclined to stop anytime soon.

"This is the best day ever," he decided with a massive, slightly concerning grin on his face.

* * *

Vio, rubbing his head with one hand and trying to re-shoe Green's foot with the other, slowly became aware of the fact that someone was yelling for him quite loudly. In fact, it was getting louder and louder the longer that he listened-

Red came barreling through the trees, saw his brothers just a few seconds too late, and skidded straight into Vio's legs knocking them booth head over heels and giving Vio another collection to bruises to add to the one on his head.

"...Ow," he decided once the world stopped moving.

"Oh gosh Vio I'm so sorry I should have been looking where I was going you're not hurt are you please say you're not hurt if you're hurt then I don't know what I'm going to do and-"

"Red," Vio interrupted. "I'm fine. Stop panicking."

Red duly stopped panicking.

"What was it you wanted Vio about?" Green asked, still hanging from the tree. Red opened his mouth to answer, but his brain kicked into gear at that exact moment and noted the fact that Green was in a tree.

As a result, what actually came out of his mouth was the perfectly on topic, "Why are you in a tree?"

Green turned pink. "...I'm stuck."

"He was helping me rescue my hat," Vio elaborated. "He slipped while climbing out on the branch and his scabbard strap's caught."

"Oh," Red said. "What happened to your hat?"

"It's in the tree," Green sighed.

"Oh," Red said again.

"Actually..." Vio mused in the tone that he used when he had an idea. "Red, can you get on my shoulders and reach my hat?"

"Sure!" Red chirped. Vio got down on his knees and Red awkwardly clambered over his head to his shoulders. Vio then stood up (though not without a good bit of wobbling, as this wasn't something they tended to do), and with the added height boost Red was able to reach out and _finally_ disentangle Vio's hat from the branch.

"Thanks," Vio said gratefully as he re-placed the garment on his head where it firmly belonged. A Link without his snazzy hat of snazziness had no snazz. Obviously.

Green let out a sigh of relief at the rescue and just let himself hang for a minute. Then he lifted his head and, with a sheepish smile, said, "Can someone get me down now?"

* * *

Blue disarmed the final Armos (Hah! Pun!), and the monster crumpled to dust, leaving Blue the only living thing in a sea of a clean freak's worst nightmare. He let out a small, contented sigh, which stirred up the still-settling dust from his victory.

After much trial and tribulation, he'd finally set his new record streak: two-hundred and forty-six kills. In a row.

This was worth celebrating, he decided.

The only problem seemed to be that there was nobody around to help celebrate it with him. This made Blue frown a bit, as he could only remember being completely separated from his siblings a handful of times – as in, he could literally count them on one hand – and he didn't remember why they hadn't been fighting with him. Come to think of it, why had he been fighting?

And why was he on a mountain?

As this thought ran through his head, Blue abruptly realized that this was Vaati's mountain. And with that epiphany came the memory of what he was doing there in the first place.

"Aww, crud," Blue muttered, and took off sprinting.

Vio was _never_ going to let this go if he figured out Blue had somehow managed to forget about Zelda of all people.

* * *

It took pushing, pulling, tugging, shoving, shouting, a very loud _crack_ sound, falling, screaming, thumping, one casualty in a form of a severe grass stain, and a stick. But at the end of the whole mess, Green could, with confidence, say he had both of his feet firmly on the ground.

He also had a strong determination to never let his siblings 'rescue' him ever again, but that was beside the point.

"...Okay," Green said, partly forcing himself to move on and partly because they actually did need to get back on track. "What did you need, Red?"

Red tilted his head, then jumped about a foot into the air and cried, "I found Zelda!" as he remembered why he'd come in running in the first place. Green and Vio immediately gave him their full attention.

"Where?" Vio said.

"Up on the top of the mountain, the very top. She's in this crystal thing, but I couldn't break it no matter what I tried. I figured Vio would know what to do, so I went looking for you but then your hat was in a tree and Green was in a tree and a lot of things revolved around trees for a while and I got distracted. Sorry."

"It's fine, we know now," Green reassured him. "Show us where she is."

"Hang on," Vio interrupted, frowning. "Where's Blue?"

Almost as if he heard his name, Blue came skidding around a pile of rocks and screeched to a halt, panting and looking as though he'd just taken a bath in mud. His hair was wildly sticking in various directions and aside from his obvious exertion, his face had a grin so wide it was threatening to escape his face.

"Hi, sorry," he panted. "Got distracted."

"Doing what?"

"Oh, things. Two-hundred and forty-six things, if you're interested."

Almost simultaneously, his three brothers decided they were definitely _not_ interested.

"Moving on," Green said quickly. "Red found Zelda at the top of the mountain but she's inside a crystal prison like the other six maidens were."

"Why didn't you say so!?" Blue cried. "We gotta rescue her!"

"We also need to figure out how first," Vio reminded him dryly. Blue shrugged.

"Simple. I'm gonna hit it with my hammer."

"Red tried that," Green informed him. "Well, not with a hammer, exactly, but-"

"None of my items worked," Red lamented. "Not a single one..."

Blue blinked and put away his hammer. "Okay then... what's the plan?"

"Figure out a plan later," Green said definitively, and with that marched straight up the path to the top.

* * *

It turned out that they didn't actually need a plan, because Zelda was quite capable of freeing herself. She proved this when the crystal suddenly shattered as the four Links were brainstorming and released the Princess in a shower of light.

"What, you actually thought I was going to sit and be the damsel in distress?" She grinned at their dumbstruck faces. "I've been storing my power for weeks to break out of that thing. Nasty stuff, quartz. No breathability at all."

"...You're okay, then?" Green asked slowly.

"Yes, I'm fine. Which is more than I can say for you boys."

Zelda got a concerning look on her face, which was highly reminiscent of Green's Leader Stare but infinitely worse because it was a Royal Leader Stare.

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, LINK!?" she exploded. "You drew the Four Sword!? How could you put Hyrule in danger like that!? You _knew_ Vaati would be released, I _know_ you knew! But here you are, standing with your four faces and gaping at me like idiots and I honestly thought you knew better, Link. Nothing could possibly be worth what you've unleashed."

"Not even saving you?" Red asked quietly.

Zelda blinked.

"Shadow Link took you captive and tricked us into drawing the Sword to get you back," Vio explained. "And then he made sure that we couldn't put it back in time to stop Vaati. We knew that the Four Sword was the only thing that could beat him, so... we just went with it."

"We came up here to smack the ever loving crud out of him," Blue said. He paused, then added, "And save you."

"Oh. Well... I suppose I can accept that," Zelda sighed. "You always did have a thing about keeping me safe. I suppose your father drove that into you."

"Uh, Princess?" Vio said, raising his hand. "Just curious, why aren't you freaking out?"

"About what?"

"Well, your childhood friend is now split into four people, for starters..."

"I had to learn all about the Four Sword in my history lessons," Zelda replied. "I know exactly what it does. I'm rather excited to see it in action, and there's a part of me that _really_ wants to ask you scientific questions about how it feels, but other than that I'm fine."

"Okay, but what about the physics-defying hole?" Blue asked.

Zelda blinked. "The what now?"

"That now," Red said, pointing. Zelda followed his finger to where the hole (now slightly bigger) floated a few inches off the ground, and her jaw dropped.

This lasted for a good minute and a half before Green cleared his throat awkwardly and Zelda was startled out of her thoughts.

"What the heck happened to Vaati!?" she sputtered.

"That was Vaati!?"

"That was where he was, yes..."

Vio frowned. "How do you know that? You were in a crystal."

"I _am_ able to know what goes on around me," Zelda said dryly. "You know, since I happen to have magical powers and things."

Vio closed his mouth awkwardly.

"But Vaati was right there," Zelda continued, insistent. "I swear by the goddesses that's where he was. I mean, sure he hadn't made any noise in a while, which I thought was kinda odd but maybe he was alseep, you never know. But..."

Everyone stared in silence at the void for a moment.

"...It's bigger than before," Red noted.

"Which means, if it keeps going, it'll eventually destroy the entire country," Vio said somberly. "That's not good."

"Well we can't do anything about it now," Zelda decided. "So, would you be willing to escort me back to the Castle? We can do some research in the library once we're there and see if there's anything on world-eating holes."

"Probably the best plan as of now," Green agreed, sighing. "Follow us, Princess."

As far as the people of Hyrule were concerned, the Four Sword Heroes coming down from the mountain with the kidnapped Princess was the best thing that'd happened since the discovery of How To Bake A Cucco Without Getting Yourself Killed – which, since Cuccos were known far and wide as the most vicious of beasts, had been heralded as a miracle in itself. But the Links and Zelda had more pressing issues on their minds and as such ignored the festivities altogether.

Hyrule was in danger and they had no idea how to stop it.

* * *

**(7/19/16)**

**This turned out a **_**lot**_** longer than the original... but hey, more for you guys to read, right?**

**And I like it a lot better, so there's that. Basically I just remade what I had but did it better, and fixed essentially all of Zelda's personality. For the ruling Princess of Hyrule, I made her shockingly petty the first time around.**

** Changeling**


	3. The One Who Got Lost

**Mandatory disclaimer which states I do not own any of the content this story draws from. It would be annoying if it didn't keep me out of legal trouble. But it does. So it isn't. Yay.**

* * *

Farore let out an annoyed huff. "Well that didn't work."

"Wait, you were doing something?" Din said in a tone of great surprise. "All I saw was you staring at the universe hard enough to burn a hole in it, and it _really_ doesn't need any more holes."

Farore glared at her. "I was _trying_ to influence Courage to step into the hole so we could use the harmonic frequency of the antimatter to connect one reality to another and transport him to another position on the timeline so he could begin the process of meeting himself, but noooooo he had to think about what he was doing instead of following the mysterious urgings!"

"...Alright there?" Din asked cautiously as Farore panted.

"I'm just cranky," Farore snapped. "Now all four of them are miles away from where they need to be and that makes my plan completely useless."

"What if we try a different aspect?" Nayru suggested. "There's more than one possibility for the 'present' due to that alternate split back with the Hero of Time. We have at least two other options, so why not try them?"

"...That could work," Farore said. "I mean, obviously the Four Sword aspect would have been the best choice, but we can make do with one of the others."

"Your Attribute, your choice," Din told her. Farore considered this and reached out to feel Courage's positions in the timelines.

"...Not the one from the Hyrule with trains," she decided. "He's nowhere near where he needs to be right now, and influencing him there would stretch the Interference Laws too much... but the other option is a piece of work in himself."

"That's the one who can't figure out where he's going to save his life, right?" Din checked.

"That's him," Farore sighed. "He's been at it for two years and he still hasn't quite found Ganon yet."

"Poor boy," Nayru murmered. "But wouldn't that mean he's actually the worst choice for this?"

"On the contrary," Farore said, waggling a finger. "His sense of direction is so marvelously out of whack that I can influence him in any direction I want and he won't notice."

"Go for it then," Din said. "Let's see if this works this time."

Farore twitched and smacked her sister upside the head in vengeance.

* * *

The Link in question was the Hero of Hyrule, a somewhat short boy with dark brown hair, a roundish nose, and quite possibly the worst sense of direction in the universe.

One of the better examples of this was the quest he was currently on. He'd met a woman named Impa, who'd turned out to be in the employment of Princess Zelda, who'd been kidnapped. Link, being an agreeable boy, had agreed to search for the missing Princess and free Hyrule from monster influence along the way.

That had been two years ago. He'd been twelve.

Now fourteen, Link's sense of direction hadn't improved one bit. He had a vague impression that he'd been more-or-less lost for two years straight trying to figure out where Ganon was keeping Zelda, but he wasn't entirely sure due to the fact that he didn't quite know where he was at the moment either.

He hoped it was the place that held the Magical Sword, because that was what he was looking for. He knew, of course, that the fact that he was looking for it made it nearly impossible for him to find it, but Link was a natural optimist and hoped he'd found it anyways. It certainly looked like the sort of place one would keep an important enchanted weapon; dark and mysterious, with an intimidating entrance that for some odd reason had been hidden under a bush. Link didn't pay this much mind though, because a vast majority of things in his Hyrule were hidden in strange places. For example, every single elder he'd ever met lived in one of two places; in a cave, or under a rock. He had no idea why they didn't just build houses for themselves, but then again he'd never asked. It wasn't his business.

Link drew his sword, tried to draw his shield but failed because he'd lost it about a week ago, and took a deep breath instead. He _would_ get a new shield, but he'd lost his wallet two weeks ago and didn't have the money for a new one. Link's sense of direction, unfortunately, extended beyond the location of himself and included the location of his items, much to his annoyance. In the two years he'd been questing he'd gone through several dozen shields, at least twenty Candles, three Rafts, thirteen boomerangs, and far, _far _too many bombs to even hope to keep track of. It also didn't help that he attracted monsters like honey attracts bees, and Like-Likes were among the most common ones he dealt with, which did _not_ do his shield situation any favors.

Lost in his thoughts, Link didn't notice where he was going until he tripped on a small rock and looked up to find himself in the middle of the dungeon with absolutely no idea how he'd gotten there. However, since this was a completely normal part of his daily life, Link just sighed again and kept walking.

* * *

Link walked through a doorway into yet another dungeon room, having a small argument with himself about whether or not this was the fifteenth or twenty-first time he'd passed this way, before freezing in his tracks as a loud growl sounded above his head. He slowly lifted his eyes and met the gaze of a very large, very irate, and very, _very_ intimidating four-headed dragon. Something made a _meep_ noise. He was pretty sure it was himself.

"On the bright side," he mused as he slowly backed out of the room, "I definitely haven't been here before. Maybe I'm getting better."

An earsplitting roar and the _crash_ of the stone wall as the dragon came charging through it let him know otherwise, and Link yelped before taking off at full speed. Interestingly enough, rather than the gibbering terror that most people would be feeling in this situation, the primary thought in Link's mind was, _'Oh come on, not again!'_

He sprinted around a corner, skidded into the wall, regained his balance and pushed off into a different room as the dragon came sprinting around the corner, skidded into the wall – and went straight on through the next wall too. Conveniently, this wall happened to be the wall between Link and the outside, and despite the fact that there was a large fire-breathing reptile between him and it, Link ran through without hesitation. The dragon, which was regrettably not hampered by either wall in the slightest, was all too happy to give chase.

"Okay, so clearly that was not where the Magical Sword was," Link muttered as he sprinted, the dragon roaring behind him. "I'll have to cross that off the mental list once I get a minute."

He pounded around a corner, startling some Keese which then got ran over by the dragon five seconds later. They made little squeaky noises as they _poof_ed into smoke. Link frowned for a moment and tried to remember if those had been the Keese by that one cave or that one other cave, but then two of the four heads of the dragon decided that it would be an excellent idea to breathe fire and Link suddenly had more important things to think about. It wasn't like he knew where either cave was in relation to anything else, after all.

The other two heads had noticed the fact that the first two were breathing fire and had decided to hop on the flaming bandwagon, which now resulted in Link running from _lots_ more death than he'd been before. He really wished he had his shield – not that it would have done much against a fire-breathing dragon, but because it would make him feel like he could do something against the fire-breathing dragon.

He sprinted past a Like-Like, then two more – and screeched to a halt, because the second one had his shield in its gelatinous body and was happily dissolving it as he watched. He debated for a moment about the wisdom of getting his shield back, but then the dragon arrived, roared its superiority to the world, and ate the Like-Like because it was aiming at Link but missed.

"Oh, COME ON!" Link yelled as his shield followed the Like-Like down the dragon's throat. "NOT_ AGAIN!"_

In Link's opinion, things like this happened far, _far_ too often. This wasn't even his first time being chased by a dragon; it was actually his third. The only differences were that the first dragon had only had one head, and the second dragon had had only two. He actually wished he were being chased by the one-headed dragon again instead. At least that one hadn't taken his shield – that honor had gone to the two-headed dragon, and now this four-headed one.

Unfortunately for Link, said four-headed dragon took his annoyed yell as a signal that the chase was on again, and Link found himself once again running for his life.

Basically, just another normal Tuesday. Or Thursday. Or Saturday. They were all pretty interchangeable by this point.

* * *

The next forty minutes or so consisted of Link sprinting, the dragon chasing, and Link's misdirectional field landing the two in all sorts of odd places. Among the ones worth noting were the Boss Chambers of every single dungeon Link had beaten so far, the place where the Zoras lived on the ocean floor (which was _really_ an accomplishment, as Link could neither swim nor breathe underwater), the top of a cliff which had no discernible way up (or down, for that matter), the chamber where Zelda was being held captive (Link tried to free her but the dragon tried to eat him again), Ganon's throne room (where the villain stared in confusion and Link tried to kill him but failed because the dragon tried to impale him), and the underside of a gravestone that turned out to be an old man's house where, in self-defense against the idiot and the monster who invaded his home, he threw a shield at Link's head – which knocked the hero straight back out the door – and slammed said grave-door in Link's face. Link had just enough time to process his new shield before the dragon tried to eat him again, causing Link to yelp, take off sprinting, and begin the chase all over again.

In his head, Link was trying to keep track of how long he'd been running. He'd lost count a couple times when the dragon had lit his hat on fire, but he was pretty sure he was nearing the hour mark. From his past experience with dragons, he needed to keep running for... about thirty more minutes, which would be when the dragon passed out from exhaustion and Link could finally get back to what he'd been doing. He remembered the time when he'd thought running for hours on end was inhuman and rolled his eyes at his younger self, who'd also thought rescuing the Princess wouldn't take more than a couple weeks at most and that losing his sword was the end of the world as he knew it.

Ah, the irony.

He jerked to the right as the dragon let loose another fire blast and sighed. Only about twenty-seven minutes to go.

* * *

Twenty-eight minutes later, the dragon, who'd been lagging slower and slower, put his foot down, missed and straight-up crashed into the dirt. A few seconds later, Link heard a muffled snoring issuing from the third head, while the first two tried to untangle themselves and the fourth head just laid there and panted. Link spent a second or two supporting himself on his knees and regaining his breath, watching the dragon warily to make sure it wasn't faking. Considering the fact that one of the heads was, in fact, asleep (much to the annoyance of the other three), he decided it was real.

"Finally," he sighed, earning himself a glare from the dragon. "Took you long enough. I mean, seriously, I've got better things to do than run from you."

The dragon snorted, flipped the sleeping third head onto it's back, and turned around with a _huff_ as it proceeded to ignore Link entirely. Classic dragon procedure; in the event of escaped prey, one should then act as though said prey never held interest in the first place.

Granted, this wasn't the most effective of strategies, but dragons are stubborn creatures and refuse to admit it.

Link watched the still-huffing dragon leave and rolled his eyes before examining his surroundings. Much to his surprise, he was standing right outside the place where he'd heard the Magical Sword was kept. Link spent five seconds or so just blinking at it, as he'd fully expected to spend at least another week and a half looking before he stumbled onto it completely by accident.

But this worked too. He had no problems with this method.

Link shoved the stone aside and walked down the stairs that had been hidden beneath it. One story below the surface was another old man (Link had yet to meet another person his age in Hyrule; they were all either elderly, Impa, or the kidnapped Princess) and the Magical Sword being displayed in a pedestal.

"Can I borrow that?" Link asked, pointing. The elder blinked at him.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I'm on a quest to save the Princess," Link explained patiently, "and I need a better sword. I've been looking for the Magical One for about two months now." He paused as a thought occurred to him and added, "That _is_ the Magical Sword, right? Please tell me it's the Magical Sword, because if it's not I'm going to be somewhat annoyed because this would be the fifth time I've made that mistake."

For the interested, the other four swords had been the Mildly Enchanted Sword, the Perfectly Normal Sword, the We-Think-It's-Cursed-But-No-One's-Sure Sword, and the Stick, which while not an actual sword had been carved to look just like one and had been painted silver. It had been very convincing.

"No, this is the Magical Sword," the old man confirmed. "Might you be Link, the Hero?"

"That's me," Link said, raising an eyebrow. "How do you know my name?"

"Impa told me that if I ever met you, I was to give you this sword," the old man said, handing said weapon to Link, "and to ask you, 'What in the names of the Three Golden Goddesses is taking you so long boy!?'"

Link turned red. "...I got lost. Possibly more than once. I may still be lost, actually. I'm not quite sure."

"Din help us," the old man sighed. "You'd best be going, young one, if you want to make any progress by the end of the week. Good luck."

Link thanked him, somewhat sheepishly, and traded out his current sword for the Magical one as he walked back up the stairs. He tucked the older one into his bag, though; with the rate he lost things, keeping a backup weapon seemed like a good idea.

He finished stuffing the sword into his bag, looked up at his surroundings, and promptly realized that he had no idea where he was.

"_Look_ when you walk," Link berated himself after he finished facepalming. "Note to self, pay attention to where I'm going, if only to know _how_ I got here. It'd be a vast improvement."

Then again, he wasn't entirely sure he _wanted _to know how he'd managed to get on top of that cliff without actually climbing it... perhaps this was a blessing in disguise.

And then, because he was paying attention to his inner monologue and not where he was going (ironically enough), he walked straight into a rock wall. His newly-acquired shield bounced with the impact and rolled off somewhere, while his even newer-newly-acquired Magical Sword smacked him in the back of the head due to momentum. Link spent the next few seconds in considerable pain.

"...Ow," he decided slowly, rubbing both his face and his skull as he glared up at the mountain in his way. He'd seen this mountain somewhere before, he thought, but then again he thought he'd seen everything somewhere before. The reason for this was usually because he _had _seen it before, on his convoluted way to wherever he was trying to get to that was not where he was.

The black void was new though.

Link's thought train screeched to a halt as he ran that sentence through his head for a second time, then looked for the corresponding object that had prompted it. Sure enough, between this mountain and it's twin was a large, utterly black hole, floating a few inches above the ground and doing everything physics said it shouldn't. It was as though the hole had taken a good look at reality and said, 'Nope, not bothering with it' and proceeded to get rid of reality entirely.

Link took a few moments to stop gaping.

* * *

"FINALLY!" Farore exploded.

"Okay, I admit taking thirty-two hours to follow a prompting is a _bit_ more than I expected," Din admitted in mild surprise. "And you're telling me he's usually worse than this?"

"_Much_ worse," Farore sighed. "You heard how long he's been looking for that sword he just got?"

Her sisters both nodded their heads.

"He'd even gotten directions to the place; he just can't find his way to save his life..."

* * *

Link finished processing the hole in the world just in time to notice the significantly-sized crowd of monsters that were all processing him. There was a frozen moment as everyone stared at one another.

And then they all freaked out.

"SWEET DIN!" Link yelped.

"GREAT GANON!" a Wizzrobe shrieked.

Pandemonium ensued.

Two minutes in, however, an Armos realized that they outnumbered Link by about a thousand to one and promptly capitalized on this fact by yelling it loudly. Link abruptly found himself surrounded by what seemed to be all of Ganon's minions. He even thought he saw the two-headed dragon from ten months ago that had eaten one of his shields.

Considering how he was being threatened by many pointy objects, however, Link pushed that thought to the back of his mind and said, "You really don't want to do that."

"On the contrary, I really think we do," the Armos growled.

Link frowned and switched tactics. "I thought I was supposed to get killed by Ganon himself though? Aren't the orders for you to be nuisances only?"

There was a bit of shuffling and muttering, before a Wizzrobe piped up with, "Ganon's not really around to give orders anymore-ow!"

The Lynel next to him had smacked him upside the head and growled something. Link got the impression that this particular Wizzrobe was a bit dim. Nevertheless, this sounded interesting.

"Why can't he give orders?" Link asked. "Is he out pillaging or something?"

All the monsters within earshot turned and glanced apprehensively at the hole.

"...Not exactly," a different Wizzrobe answered. "What actually happened was-OW!"

A Bubble had... well, Link wasn't entirely sure what the Bubbles did, but it had apparently hurt. He was getting the impression that maybe _all_ Wizzrobes were a bit dim. So, since none of the monsters seemed inclined to tell him, Link put two and two together and made an educated guess.

"Did he fall in the hole?"

"...Not exactly," an Armos admitted. "It was more like... he turned _into_ the hole."

"And then he was gone," a creature whispered from somewhere in the crowd. And with that, the dam broke, and nearly every monster visible started whimpering.

"It took my brother!"

"It ate my lunch!"

"It devoured exactly half of my sock drawer! Now one of my feet will always be cold!"

Link blinked. Then he shook his head and yelled, "HEY!"

The mob paused mid-wail.

"So what you're saying is, Ganon is gone?"

He was met with a great deal of wide-eyed stares before the entire horde broke down in sobs.

"THE MASTER IS GONE!" a Wizzrobe wailed, and everything went to the Dark World. The Armos holding Link at swordpoint opted for blowing his nose on his sleeve instead, a couple Like-Likes literally melted in their sorrow, and one strange moblin attached itself to Link's shirt and whimpered into the fabric. Link, not knowing what else to do, patted its shoulder awkwardly.

"Uh... it's okay little, um, guy. I'm sure he'll be back before you know it."

Nobody paid attention.

"Alright, you asked for it," Link muttered. "OI! EVERYBODY CALM DOWN OR I WILL SKEWER YOU!"

For whatever reason, this actually worked and Link was once again the center of monster attention. He briefly wondered why he'd thought this was a good idea.

"So," he started slowly, "if I've got this right, Ganon got absorbed by a hole and vanished. Anyone and anything that touches the hole also vanishes. And as a result, you all are panicking. Did I miss anything?"

"You forgot the part where the hole grows," an Armos contributed.

"Oh, it does? I didn't know that, thank you," Link said. "Couple other things though, why was Ganon out here in the first place?"

A couple of the monsters winced.

"Ah, well, there was a security breach a few hours ago," a different Armos said. "The Hero was being chased by our four-headed dragon and he somehow got all the way into the Lord Ganon's private chambers. His Highness wasn't very happy about that and he came out to punish us for our lapse in our duties."

"Which we so richly deserved," a Wizzrobe mourned. "Allowing a mortal near our Master... shameful..."

Link blinked. "Hang on. That was me."

The monster horde stared at him.

"...You're the Hero?" an Armos checked.

"The one who's been killing us all?" a Darknut clarified.

"The person we've been fighting and dying against for two years now?" a Wizzrobe finished.

Link tugged on his bangs nervously. "I dunno about _all_ that stuff, but... yes?"

There was about five seconds of pure silence. Then the Wizzrobe screamed, "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

Link was then treated to the wonderfully uncommon sight of a monster stampede running in the _opposite_ direction of him. He stared after them in confusion.

"...Okay then," he decided into the sudden silence. "That's new. Apparently I'm intimidating now...?"

He thought about that for a moment and shrugged. Either way, he was just glad not to be dead. Then, with nothing else to do, Link turned to examine the void.

It was a very intimidating void.

"...Yeah, not touching that with a ten-foot pole," Link said firmly. If touching it meant obliteration, he was going to stay _far _away, thank you very much. It wasn't like he had an item for closing things either. Thus, Link decided that this would be one thing he was _not_ going to mess with.

Still... he couldn't just leave it. The Armos had been right, it _was_ growing. Sooner or later it was going to be big enough to cause some serious problems, and as the Hero of Hyrule Link couldn't just ignore it. No, he needed to stick around and figure out how to stop this thing. Without touching it in any way, shape, or form whatsoever.

Poking it was clearly out of the question.

* * *

"...He's not investigating," Farore said slowly.

"He's sticking around, that's progress," Nayru said encouragingly.

"But the plan relies on one of them investigating! If they don't investigate then they can't hop the timeline and meet themselves!"

"Somehow I think getting close to the reality-warping void is the last thing on Courage's mind," Din noted.

Farore just let out a frustrated huff.

* * *

As a general rule, Demise did not do 'regret'.

However, he was seriously considering it.

It turned out, that when he'd absorbed his Hatred Incarnations, he'd _literally_ absorbed them. He had their powers, yes. He had their memories. He had their knowledge, their experience, and their plans.

He also had their voices inside his head. And they were grating on his very last nerve.

_I DEMAND TO BE FREED THIS INSTANT! _One of the Ganondorfs yelled. _I REFUSE TO BE HELD CAPTIVE BY SOME HALLUCINATING IMBECILE THINKING HE'S A GOD!_

"I _AM_ A GOD!" Demise roared. "HOW DARE YOU REFER TO ME AS AN IMBECILE! I CAN SMITE YOU WHERE YOU STAND, YOU INCOMPETENT EXCUSE FOR A VILLAIN!"

_SAY THAT TO MY FACE!_

"YOU DON'T HAVE A FACE! YOU LOST THAT RIGHT WHEN YOU LOST TO THE HERO, YOU MORONIC SIMPLETON!"

_WHO CARES!?_ One of the multiple Ganons bellowed. _JUST RELEASE ME AND LET ME TAKE MY REVENGE!_

_Hang on, I thought you'd been banished to the Dark World or something,_ a different voice said. Demise didn't know who it was, nor did he particularly care. _That's what the history books said._

_SHUT UP, PANSY!_

_YOU SHUT UP!_

Something exploded in the back of Demise's mind, followed by the sound of an all-out brawl.

_Morons,_ a woman's voice muttered. Despite the fact that he didn't care, Demise could recognize the woman simply because she had the distinction of being the only female Hatred Incarnation he had. He vaguely thought her name was Veran, but because he didn't care he didn't bother to see if he was right.

Another explosion interrupted Demise's thoughts, which annoyed him immensely. "WILL YOU KNOCK IT OFF IN THERE!?"

_HE STARTED IT!_

_I DID NO SUCH THING!_

_ALL OF YOU, _**_SHUT UP! _**a Ganondorf roared. _I CAN BARELY HEAR MYSELF THINK WITH YOU IDIOTS TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER!_

_Wait, people are killing each other? _A new voice piped up. _Why wasn't I invited? I love Killing-People-Parties!_

_Zant, go curse a Cucco,_ someone snarled.

_Great idea! Cuccos are AWESOME at Killing-People-Parties! We can all wear Peahats!_

_Nobody cares,_ a new voice rumbled. _Unless there will be trains. Then I will consider joining you._

_Wait, _**_you're_**_ the guy who can't do anything without a Train? That's pathetic! When did our kind stoop so low as to rely on a machine to do our job for us?_

_Oh, JUST because you can swing a massive mace, SUDDENLY you're better than EVERYONE else!_

_Do not make me show you how effective my mace can be._

_LIKE IT COULD HURT _**_ME!_**

There was abruptly a mind-shatteringly loud **_THUD_**, and the sound of something simultaneously squishing and breaking.

_...ow..._

_He did not die,_ the voice that apparently wielded a massive mace said in mild surprise. _Normally people die when I hit them. Perhaps I did not hit hard enough._

Another **_THUD_** ricocheted through Demise's head.

_He's still not dead,_ the woman – Veran – said in a bored tone. _Either we can't die here, or you're losing your touch, Onox._

_Quiet, woman!_

**_Don't make me show you your place._**

_...No ma'am. Sorry ma'am._

_Did I hear you say we cannot die here?_ a new and curiously ambiguous voice said, sounding like it'd just heard the first interesting thing all century.

_Well, it's only a theory._

_I volunteer to test this theory. Who would like to help me?_

Demise blinked as a squishing, bubbling noise replied to the question and briefly wondered if he was losing his sanity after all before remembering that one of his Hatred Incarnations, for some reason, had manifested as a squid.

_I do not speak the ocean language. _

_He said he was interested,_ one of the Ganondorfs translated.

_Ah. Good~_

With a sudden, massive **_THWUMP _**and the sound of insane laughter, the ambiguous voice set the squid on fire that would put the tortures of the Dark World to shame. Demise wasn't entirely sure how he knew it was fire, but there was no doubt in his mind that it was. The squid, as was typical of things set on fire, began screaming, which went on for several minutes.

_...No, it seems one cannot die while trapped in this prison,_ the ambiguous voice decided eventually, in a tone which implied extreme boredom. _Pity... I was hoping to torture something to death today._

_I think I'm going to like you,_ one of the previous voices said. _Ganondorf, pleasure to meet you._

_...That is debatable, but we shall see. I am Majora._

_You can't be Ganondorf, MY name is Ganondorf! _a different voice interrupted.

_Highly unlikely,_ a third voice scoffed. **_I_**_ am Ganondorf._

_All three of you are just mere posers,_ a fourth voice accused. _You are simply taking MY name and adding 'dorf' to it! _

_Wait, your name is Ganon?_ A new voice repeated. _You filthy thief! That's MY name!_

This set off a whole cacophony of different voices arguing over who's name was who's, whether or not it had belonged to this person or that person first, and the various painful things they were going to do to one another if so-and-so didn't give up this name or that name within the next ten seconds. Demise slapped his hands over his ears, but then made the horrific discovery that it made absolutely no difference whatsoever because it was all happening inside his head, and resigned himself to massaging his temples instead in an attempt to get rid of the headache he hadn't known gods could get.

_All of you, SHUT _**_UP!_** Veran roared. _We're going to settle this like civilized villains. Admittedly this may be a challenge for... all of you, but please do try, hmm?_

_You test my patience, woman,_ one of the Ganons growled.

_And you test mine. Don't make me lose it. Now, you're having problems with naming?_

_However did you guess?_ a Ganondorf asked with extreme sarcasm. Veran ignored him.

_The solution is quite simple, boys. Just number yourselves and be done with it._

_I call Number One!_

_SHUT UP ZANT!_

_But I wanna be Number One..._

_YOU DON'T EVEN _**_NEED_**_ A NUMBER!_

_Oh good, you agree with me,_ Veran purred. _Alright, let's get to business. You'll be One, you can be Two, you'll be Three-_

_WE ARE _**_NOT BEING _****_NUMBERED!_**

_But I wanna be Number One!_

_ZANT! NOBODY ASKED YOU!_

_Can I at least get a sandwich!?_

_YOU CAN NOT – wait, you want a __**sandwich?**_

_Isn't that what we've been talking about?_

_But – how did you get a sandwich out of – no, that's not what we've been talking about at all! We've been... well among other things, we've been __**trying**__ to get this pathetic excuse of a deity to release us, since he's somehow under the delusion that he controls us! We've been DEMANDING OUR __**FREEDOM!**_

Zant made a thoughtful humming noise. _...I'd rather have a sandwich. I DEMAND A SANDWICH!_

_...You're an idiot, Zant._

_Couldn't agree more, One._

_Veran, I am NOT GOING TO BE __**NAMED NUMBER ONE! IT IS AN ABYSMALLY STUPID IDEA!**_

_Oh, and I suppose you've got a better one then!?_

This sparked a debate which was so loud that Demise actually thought he might go deaf. But releasing the villains was out of the question, as putting them back in their places would restore the Universe to it's original, un-voided state and undo all the destructive progress made so far. That, and Demise was far, _far_ too stubborn to bow to the demands of lesser beings.

Still... he should probably at least consider it.

* * *

**7/31/16**

**I feel like the plot is so much more understandable now... I'm actually remembering to put it all on the page instead of leaving half of it in my head and kicking myself for it later. And aside from that, the Inside Demise's Head scene came out a lot better this time around, methinks.**

**...This turned out to be a couple thousand words longer than the original... again... but hey, more to read right?**

**Changeling**


	4. The One With the Train

**Disclaimer! I own nothing but the plot. And possibly Zant's personality, as I don't think he ever wanted a sandwich in the games. Then again, maybe he did and I just missed it... he's crazy, it could happen.**

* * *

"Now this is just getting ridiculous," Farore complained. "The Four Sword aspect is miles away in a library, the directionally challenged aspect is too wary to even get within ten feet of where I need him to be-"

"With good reason, as far as he's concerned," Din pointed out.

"-and I'm running out of ideas!" Farore finished, ignoring the interruption like it hadn't even happened.

"We do still have the Train aspect," Nayru reminded her sister.

Farore frowned, thinking. "Yes I'm aware of that, but that one is... busy."

Din blinked. "Busy doing what?"

"Well..."

* * *

Link, the Hero of Trains, was being fired at by laser cannons.

Well, technically his Train was being fired at by laser cannons. Link, unfortunately, happened to be on the Train.

Behind him, a spirit was clinging to the train wall for dear life and trying not to be sick. Link wondered how Zelda could feel sick without a stomach, then wondered how she could have motion sickness _now_ of all times after spending months traveling by Train with him.

Then again, none of the rides before this one had been _quite_ this violent.

After dealing with Malladus for months on end, things had finally come to a head with the duel Link was currently in; racing his Train against Malladus'. It was a distinctly unfair fight, in Link's opinion, mostly due to the previously mentioned laser cannons on the Demon Train that Malladus was driving. Link, on the other hand, had regular cannons that shot regular cannonballs.

Totally fair and even odds, those were.

But that wasn't even the only problem Link was dealing with. Malladus had a completely warped sense of proper steering, and would randomly switch tracks at the most awkward and inconvenient times, usually right in front of Link's Spirit Train making the Hero pull some jarring and often straight-up illegal maneuvers to avoid a collision.

Abruptly, Malladus decided to do exactly that and the Demon Train jumped rails, making Link slam the brake lever to avoid a head-on crash with the back of the demonic locomotive which was now mere feet in front of him. The sudden movement threw Link onto the dashboard and Zelda to the floor, and Link threw a hurriedly worried glance at her.

"I'm fine!" she yelled over the noise in response, though she looked a bit paler than usual – and that was saying something, considering that she was transparent. "Keep going, we can't lose him now!"

Link nodded and returned his attention to the race – and just in time, because Malladus had fired up the Demon Train's lasers again and was about to shoot him with them. Link yelped and switched rails as fast as he could manage, and the lasers carved a furrow in the rapidly passing ground instead.

"Just once," Link growled, "I would like to drive my Train without another Train trying to kill me. Why is that too much to ask?"

_Probably because you're the Hero_, his subconscious answered. Link scowled and jerked the accelerator to move his Train up alongside the Demon Train again. He wouldn't mind being the Hero as much if the title didn't get him into so much trouble. Then again, the fact that he _did_ tend to get into some questionable situations made for an excellent excuse to use the Spirit Train's cannons.

In fact, Link decided, that sounded like a fantastic idea.

"Zelda, watch the accelerator!" he yelled, sprinting to the cannon controls. Zelda shouted something about intangibility in reply, but Malladus had chosen that exact moment to fire more lasers and thus Link didn't hear her. He did, however, hear the screech of damaged metal as the lasers raked over the body of the Spirit Train and snarled incoherently.

_Nobody_ messed with his Train. This had just gotten personal. And Link capitalized on that fact by slamming cannonballs into every inch of the Demon Train he could reach.

"Link!" Zelda yelled, materializing next to him. "Aim for the laser ports!"

...Yeah, that was probably a much better idea, Link admitted to himself, and reoriented his cannon. His next shot smashed one of the turrets into splinters, and Link grinned in fierce vengeance for his Train. Zelda let out a relieved sigh in tandem, then glanced ahead at the rails because she was smart like that.

"Link, there's a rail switch coming!" she said, pointing at the rapidly approaching mechanism. "We should probably use it!"

"Right, thanks!"

He really didn't know what he'd do without Zelda's second pair of eyes watching everything he couldn't. She'd saved his life at least four times on this adventure so far, and if he was being honest with himself basically every idea the two of them had was actually Zelda's that she gracefully let Link take half the credit for, exactly like the rail switch just now.

Link sprinted back to the Train controls and threw the rail switch just in the nick of time. The Spirit Train abruptly swerved onto a different track, a good twenty feet further away from the Demon Train. This, in Link's opinion, was a very good thing, because the farther he was from that monstrosity the better.

But then a different laser turret swiveled, locked, and shot the Spirit Train's siding right where the engine would be. Link yelled in surprise and slammed the brake lever to get out of range, which threw him onto the dashboard and Zelda, despite being incorporeal, sliding across the floor and straight _through_ Link and the dashboard.

"Sorry!" Link yelled as she pulled herself back out of the machinery, looking slightly annoyed.

"A little warning next time would be nice," she chided. Neither of them mentioned the part where she'd slid through Link, because that part was considerably awkward and they were far too busy to bother with something as trivial as awkwardness anyways, not to mention that the noise of the lasers, cannonballs, brakes, Train engines, and just about everything else was incredibly loud and made it hard to even think about bothering with feeling awkward.

Put simply, neither of them cared.

Link stuck his head out the window to make sure they were out of firing range of the lasers, and seeing that they were, ran back to the cannon to fire some shots of his own. Unfortunately, he'd left the brakes on and thus spent the next few seconds with absolutely terrible aim before he figured out what was going on and sheepishly ran back to the controls.

That problem fixed, he ran _back_ to the cannon and started firing again, this time hitting the laser he was aiming for with relative ease and demolishing it too. Then he scrambled back to the controls, because the Demon Train had just switched lanes to close the distance between the two of them and was using the proximity to cause some significant damage with its two remaining laser guns.

Why the _heck_ did a Train even have laser guns in the first place!?

Lost in his annoyance, Link missed the Demon Train switching rails again until Zelda pointed and shrieked, "LOOK OUT!"

Link obediently looked, and promptly freaked.

"HOLY DIN!" he yelled in a panic, and once again sprinted for the Train controls, because the Demon Train was _right in front of them_ and they were about to collide with it. He jerked the brake lever just in time to prevent a nasty crash and quickly threw the upcoming rail swtich to get as far from the Demon Train as he could.

"Oh, that was way too close," he gasped. "Thanks, Zel."

"Well, we wouldn't want you turning into a ghost too, now would we?" Zelda replied. Link tilted his head, confused.

"...I thought you were a temporarily disembodied spirit."

"Link, drive the Train."

"Oh! Right."

With his attention back on the steering, Link had a clear view of what was in front of him. Thus, he essentially had front row seats when the Demon Train missed a rail switch and plowed headlong into a rock wall.

Link's mouth dropped. So did Zelda's.

"...Did the Demon Train just crash?" Link asked slowly.

"Looks like it..."

"Even though Malladus has never made a driving mistake before this, ever?"

"Uh-huh."

"You're coming with me when I investigate, aren't you."

"Pretty much."

Link sighed. "Just give me a minute to stop." As a general rule, he did _not_ approve of the Princess following him into possibly dangerous situations, regardless of the fact that whatever the danger was probably couldn't touch her. Call him protective, or whatever, but it freaked him out when the life of the future ruler of his country was solely in his thirteen-year-old hands.

Unfortunately, Zelda was stubborn enough that she would follow him anyway, and he couldn't exactly order her back to safety because, one, she outranked him by a _lot_, and two, he couldn't move her even if he tried. He'd just go straight through.

The Spirit Train, which he'd been steadily braking the whole time, slowly chugged to a halt in a cloud of white smoke a few hundred feet away from the Demon Train, which suited Link just fine. The face on that thing creeped him out. He threw a few more levers to lock the Train in place, then hopped out of the engine car and began slowly approaching the Demon Train, with Zelda floating close behind.

As a result of smashing straight into a mountain, the entire front of the Demon Train was a complete chaotic mess. Metal was twisted, paint was scraped, wheels were bent, and that face which had been creeping Link out for months was so mangled that it was unrecognizable. Link made a little fist-pump when he noticed that.

Luckily, the door wasn't nearly as damaged as the rest of the locomotive, and Link was able to climb in with relatively little difficulty. Zelda, on the other hand, just floated through the wall and feigned impatience with a little smile on her face as she watched Link come in.

"That's not nearly as funny as you think it is," Link informed her once he was through. Zelda just shrugged, smile still firmly visible, and Link rolled his eyes good-naturedly before starting off down the hallway.

After a few steps, the hall opened up into the engine room, which was much larger than the one Link had in the Spirit Train. But this was hardly worth noting, because there were three other things in the room that most definitely _were_ worth noting.

One was Zelda's body, laying 'lifeless' and unoccupied on the floor. The second was 'Chancellor' Cole, who was also on the floor but seemed to be regaining consciousness.

The third was a middling-sized utterly black hole over by the Train's controls, which was slowly growing as Link watched and making the machinery rattle as the void pulled on it.

"Link..." Zelda said, with a little catch in her voice as she stared at her body.

"Just hang on a sec," Link replied, narrowing his eyes at the scene. Months of narrowly escaping getting killed had taught him to never, _ever, _take a seemingly harmless room at face value unless you wanted to die a very painful death. With this thought in mind, he slowly advanced into the middle of the floor with his sword drawn and his shield ready to be used at a moment's notice.

Thirty seconds crawled by. Nothing attempted to kill him.

"...Okay," Link decided. "We're good."

Zelda rocketed past him the instant the words left his mouth, so fast that she actually created a wind in her wake that buffeted Link's hair. Link decided to give her and her body a few moments to get reacquainted and used the fact that Cole was groggily blinking at him as his excuse. He grabbed Cole by his collar and hoisted him to his feet – which wasn't very hard considering that Cole was actually slightly shorter than Link himself, which was a real novelty to the Hero because he was a naturally short and stocky boy.

"You've put me through a _whole_ lot of garbage, you know that?" Link growled into Cole's face.

"Cheese unicorns," Cole wheezed, excellently demonstrating the concussion he had from the crash. Link blinked, then dropped the little demon man unceremoniously to the ground again. Clearly, he wasn't going to be much use.

A little gasp to his left caught his attention, and he turned to see Zelda back in her body and taking her first real breath of oxygen in months. She inhaled, slowly, then exhaled just as slowly. A beaming grin spread across her face.

"We did it," she said, euphoric. "I've got my body back!"

"Awesome," Link told her. She beamed again and caught him in a quick hug.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

Link had absolutely no idea what to do in this situation, and it showed in the fact that he couldn't figure out where to put his hands. He settled for flailing them awkwardly. "Anybody else would have done the same thing," he managed.

"Shut up and accept the gratitude," Zelda said, releasing him and rolling her eyes.

"Sure thing, Your Highness."

"Avocado chutney," Cole warbled from the floor, completely breaking the mood. Zelda's face darkened like a thunderstorm, and she veritably stalked over to the man who had posed in her court for months.

"Link," she said coldly, "could you stand him up, please?"

Normally, Link would have said something about how violence was unbecoming for the future Queen, how revenge was almost never the answer, and a lot of other cliched but true stuff about taking out your feelings on people. However, the look on Zelda's face scared the living daylights out of him.

So he did the smart thing and stood Cole up instead.

"You," Zelda hissed, "have betrayed me, plotted against me, tried to destroy Hyrule, ripped me from my body, gave my body to someone else, tried to kill me and Link more times than I can count, and broken almost every single traffic law we have. I can think of only one punishment good enough for the likes of you."

So saying, she wound up and SLAPPED Chancellor Cole across the face so hard that he impacted the far wall.

"That," Zelda said in tones of supreme satisfaction, "felt amazing."

Link was too busy watching Cole burst into smoke and blow away in the fashion of all defeated monsters to respond. He suddenly felt both very attracted to, and very terrified of, the girl standing next to him.

"...Did you just vaporize Cole by slapping him?" he asked, just to be sure of what was happening.

"And I'd do it again in a heartbeat," Zelda nodded firmly. "Now, let's finish the job. Where's Malladus?"

That, Link realized, was an excellent question. Malladus was supposed to be driving the Train, although if he was gone and Cole had been driving, that explained why he'd crashed. Still, demonic overlords generally didn't just vanish into thin air.

"...He ought to be here somewhere," Link said. "I mean, Cole was here, and your body was here, and we _know_ Malladus wouldn't have left your body lying around like that."

"Except that he apparently did," Zelda frowned. "I wonder... Link, what do you make of that hole?"

Link turned and gave said hole an appraising glance. "It freaks me out a little, not gonna lie. I've never seen anything like it."

Zelda frowned more and took a few steps closer to the void, examining it closely. It had grown a little bigger since Link had looked at it last, and was now in the process of eating through the accelerator.

"...Ah," Zelda said. "That's bad. That's very, very bad."

"Why?"

"That's a _hole_," she replied. Link nodded slowly.

"...I knew that," he said. "I can see it's a hole. Now why is it bad?"

"Because that's a hole in the _world_."

Link took that in for a moment.

"Okay, yeah, that's bad," he decided. "But I'm still not seeing how this tells us where Malladus went."

"Well..." Zelda started hesitantly. "I _think_... that he might have been... absorbed."

Link blinked and gave the hole a more thorough once-over. Still black, still growing, still eating the accelerator... wait.

The accelerator... which the engineer would have been standing in front of. The engineer, who would have been Malladus.

"...So, do we panic, or celebrate, or what?"

"Bit of both," Zelda decided. "We can't leave this here. We need to take care of it."

Link's eyes narrowed as his instinct to protect kicked in again. "_Oh_ no. _I_ can take care of it. _You_ can head back to the castle where it's safe and reassure your probably sick with worry father that you're alright."

Zelda's eyer narrowed to match Link's, and she crossed her arms authoritatively. "And what makes you think that I'm going to leave you alone with a world-threatening crisis to deal with? We only made it this far because we worked together, and I am _not_ going anywhere while Hyrule is still in danger."

"Oh yes you are," Link retorted, "because _I_ am not going to let _anything_ happen to you now that we've finally got your body back. I understand you're worried about Hyrule, which is perfectly understandable, but _you are the freaking Princess!_ What happens if you get absorbed just like Malladus? What am I supposed to do then? Heck, what's Hyrule supposed to do then?"

To her horror, Zelda found that she couldn't actually argue with that logic. So she settled for scowling in Link's general direction instead. Link himself breathed a silent sigh of relief. Zelda could be monumentally stubborn if she wanted to be, and the argument could have easily gone on for hours. Luckily, her country came before almost anything else, otherwise Link probably would've never found a way to make her go.

"Now," Link said, "how are we gonna get you back?"

"...Maybe they'll be willing to escort me," Zelda offered, pointing behind him. Link turned to see Anjean and Byrne materializing out of thin air, the instrument at Anjean's mouth showing how they were doing it.

"Yeah, that'll work," Link agreed.

* * *

Link waved as the Spirit Train chugged away without him, although it felt _really_ strange to not be driving the machine himself. In fact, he was having a hard time reminding himself that nobody was stealing it, that he'd agreed to this, and he'd get his Train back as soon as Zelda was safe.

...He missed it already.

Link shook his head rapidly and flicked himself in the temples in an effort to get his mind back on track. He needed to do something about the hole, which by now had grown large enough that it was starting to be visible from the outside of the Train.

"...What am I going to do with you?" he asked the hole rhetorically. The hole didn't answer, which was a good thing. In Link's opinion, talking to inanimate objects was perfectly normal, but if they talked _back, _that was when you needed to be worried.

But since the hole hadn't said anything, it was all good.

Link pursed his mouth thoughtfully, then upturned his Adventure Bag on the ground and began sifting through the contents. Bombs, boomerang, arrows, Sand Wand, Whirlwind, whip, Spirit Flute... none of this seemed like it would do much. Still, Link decided, wouldn't hurt to try.

The bombs exploded, but did absolutely nothing as the hole then ate the explosion while it was happening. Arrows just vanished upon contact, the sandstorm summoned by the Sand Wand did squat, the Whirlwind was equally useless – and somewhat puzzling, because Link couldn't tell if the hole had eaten the wind or not. The boomerang just seemed like a bad idea, the whip seemed like an even worse idea, and the only thing he achieved playing the Spirit Flute was a snappy dance tune one he determined that every other song he knew did exactly what his other items had done – nothing.

Now he kinda wished Zelda was still around. He was out of ideas.

* * *

"Unbelievable," Farore said, throwing up her hands. "I even went to all the effort of keeping the hole moving with the Train so he'd run into it! What does it take with these boys!?"

"Shame we can't actually close them ourselves," Nayru mourned.

"I know, I honestly thought we had a chance when Farore managed to move that one, but I guess moving them around is all we can do," Din agreed ruefully. "Better than nothing, I guess, but still..."

"Right, that's it," Farore decided, having ignored the conversation her sisters were having. "It's time to get serious with this. If they won't investigate themselves, then I'll _make_ them investigate!"

"Or we could try tact?" Nayru suggested. "So Courage doesn't freak out at feeling his body moving on it's own and we don't break the Interference Laws?"

"Okay, I'll make them investigate _subtly_."

"Have we considered just sending them a message? You know, have the local Great Fairy turn up and say, 'Hero, thou must goeth into yonder hole'?" Din said.

Farore gave her a flat look. "Nobody talks like that."

"It was more subtle than your suggestions, though," Nayru pointed out.

Farore opened her mouth to retort – then paused, as something occurred to her.

"...that could work..." she said softly.

"...What could work?" Din asked.

"You'll see, if it works," Farore replied, suddenly in a better mood than she'd been all week. "Nayru, where's the Four Sword aspect right now?"

"...On their way back to the mountain, actually," Nayru replied after a moment of concentration. "Looks like they're done with the Library, for now."

"Excellent," Farore grinned. "Now, let's see how this works."

* * *

**8/12/16**

**Writing a Train is still just as hard as last time. **

**On the bright side, I fixed Zelda! ...Again! What was wrong with me, seriously. She's the freaking ruler of the kingdom, I don't know ****_what_**** I was thinking.**

**Changeling**


	5. Link, Meet Link

**Disclaimer: a generic statement that usually implies non-ownership by an obsessed fan using trademarked characters for a story which may or may not be illegal without said statement. Ex: I do not, nor will I ever, own the Legend of Zelda. Sadly.**

* * *

"Come on... little closer... _little_ closer... just one more step-no! Don't back away, you overly suspicious hatter! _Get back there and let me work with you!"_

"I think she's about to short-circuit," Din whispered.

"LET ME MAKE YOU SAVE THE UNIVERSE!" Farore screeched at her Attribute.

"And here I thought being impatient was your job," Nayru murmured back.

"Hey!"

Nayru ignored her now sputtering sister and placed a (hopefully) calming hand on Farore's shoulder. "Calm down," she advised. "Just be patient, remember? They'll be in position eventually."

Farore took a deep breath. "...Right. I know. You're right. I'm just a little fed up with all the manipulating and maneuvering I've had to do with very little to show for it."

"That would make anybody tense," Din agreed. "Still, Nayru's got a point. Just be patient a little while longer, and you can do whatever thing you're planning to do, okay?"

Farore took another deep breath, actually calming down this time. "Yeah. Thanks, girls. What would I do without you?"

"Go crazy," Din said matter-of-factly. "That's how Ordona went."

"I remember her," Nayru mused. "She was... odd."

"Didn't she retire to be a Light Spirit in a goat province or something?" Farore asked.

The Three Sisters were silent for a moment.

"...Yeah, she was weird," Din decided.

* * *

Green, Blue, Vio, and Red surveyed the results of the latest attempt to close the hole, being a complicated setup involving a mirror, three bombs, time-delayed wicks, and an application of physics to invert the explosion.

It hadn't worked.

"...Dang," Green sighed. "Alright, Vio, what's next on the list?"

Vio flipped open a book and paged through the contents before stopping a good ways in.

"By this point... we're down to either throwing things at it, or going and getting _another _magic-user to see if they know any different spells used for closing stuff. And as a last resort, asking nicely."

"Somehow I doubt getting another magic user will do much," Blue commented. "I mean, we've already tried all the spells Zelda sent with us, all six of the other Maidens already tried their luck, and I'm really not sure who else we could find that would have a better chance than them."

"True..." Green said. "But that just leaves us with..."

"Throwing things and asking nicely," Vio supplied.

"What would we even throw?" Red wondered.

"Let's chuck a Cucco at it and see what happens," Blue suggested. His three counterparts glared at him.

"That's a _terrible_ idea," Vio stated.

"If anything, that's going to get _us_ killed," Green added.

"So... that just leaves asking nicely?" Red asked curiously.

Everyone exchanged dubious looks.

"...If someone wants to try," Green said doubtfully.

"I'll do it!" Red said cheerfully. He took a step forward and said, "Excuse me, Mr. Hole? Would you mind closing yourself for us? It'd be a huge help."

A good sixty seconds crawled by as nothing happened, the silence broken only by the birds and Blue's muffled snicker at the absurdity of it all.

"...Well it was worth a shot I guess," Green sighed. "Anybody have any other ideas?"

"I could punch it," Blue offered.

"And then you'll go the same way that rock did," Vio retorted.

"We don't _know_ that..."

Vio pegged him with a dry stare.

"...It was the only idea I had left, okay?" Blue defended himself. "And it's not like anybody else was saying anything..."

"I could ask meanly this time instead," Red suggested.

"If asking nicely didn't work, what makes you think asking meanly will? Heck, what makes you think asking will work at all?"

"Well, 'It's not like anybody else was saying anything', right?" Red quoted.

"Vio said that," Blue said unconvincingly.

"I did not!"

Green sighed as the two got into another of their usual spats and took over the conversation. "If you wanna give it a go, you can certainly try, Red. We're out of ideas otherwise."

Red nodded and took a second step forward. He took a deep breath, got himself into a 'Blue' mindset, and snapped, "You close up right now or I'm gonna smack the black right off your umbra!"

Despite this most convincing threat, the hole did not respond.

"...Dangit," Red sighed, deflating back into his normal personality.

"On the bright side," Green said, "I thought it was a very convincing 'Blue' impression."

Red turned and beamed at him. "Thanks!"

Green returned the smile, then paused. Over Red's shoulder, where the handle of his Four Sword poked out, the red stone in the pommel seemed to be ever-so-slightly glowing. Green frowned, confused, then shot a quick glance over his own shoulder at his own Four Sword.

It was perfectly normal.

A look at the still-arguing Blue and Vio showed that their swords weren't doing anything unusual either, so Green turned back to Red to make sure he wasn't imagining it.

...Nope, still glowing.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Red asked curiously.

"Not you," Green said. "Your Sword. It's glowing."

"Really?" Red twisted around to see for himself. "Oh neat! ...Why's it doing that?"

"No idea," Green said. "Hey, Vio!"

"What!?" Vio snapped, then winced. "Sorry, wrong conversation – what?"

"Red's Sword is glowing. Any idea why?"

"It's doing _what?_" Vio repeated, coming over for a closer look and leaning in to examine Red's weapon more closely. "That's odd..."

"It can't be that weird though, since yours is doing it too," Red pointed out. Vio raised an eyebrow at that, then glanced over his shoulder. Sure enough, the violet stone in the pommel of his Sword was glowing just like Red's was.

"...Huh?" Vio said knowledgeably.

"Now that's just bizarre," Blue decided, having joined the group again after Vio got distracted. "Has anyone's Sword ever done this before?"

"Not that I can remember," Green replied, while Red shook his head and Vio frowned.

"...There's a reason for this," he muttered. "There's always a reason..."

He started pacing back and forth in front of the other three, a habit he'd developed sometime during the fiasco in the Village of the Blue Maiden. That town had been absolutely infuriating and ended up pushing the four Links' deductive skills to the limit, and one of the side effects had been Vio manifesting a tendency to pace and think things through aloud.

"We know it's not an enemy, because we're the only ones around," he mused. "It can't be a Moon Gate, because we would have found that by now. There's no indication of a Great Fairy..."

The other three, knowing how Vio tended to get, sat back and watched, their heads following him back and forth rather like a cat following a light on the wall. Because of this, they then noticed the glow from Vio's Sword becoming brighter and dimmer in direct relation to when Vio walked past the hole.

"I think it's the hole," Red said, interrupting Vio's theory that Kaepora Gaebora was actually a Cucco in disguise and their Swords were detecting the presence of pure evil behind the costume.

"...That's highly unlikely," Vio replied slowly. "What makes you think that?"

"Watch," Red told him, pointing at his own weapon and walking towards the hole as he did. With each step he took, the red stone glowed brighter and brighter until it was comparable to a small red star, with Red himself standing a mere two feet from the void itself.

"...Okay, that's fairly convincing evidence," Vio conceded. "Now the question becomes, why?"

"Maybe if we hit the hole with the Swords instead of just punching it," Blue suggested. "That could explain the glow. It's showing us the way to fix it."

"The Four Sword doesn't have that kind of power," Vio argued. "We should know it's limits better than anyone, right? I'm _positive_ it can't do that."

"We won't know until we try though, right?" Blue countered.

"But what happens if our Swords go the same way as that rock? What happens if _we_ go the same way as that rock because we were holding the Swords that were touching the hole?" Vio crossed his arms. "There's too many variables."

"Who cares about variables?" Blue asked, exasperatedly throwing his arms up.

"_I _do!" Vio retorted. "It's the kind of thing that keeps you from getting yourself killed, not that you ever pay attention to that anyways..."

"I pay plenty of attention, it just needs to be important!"

"Variables _are_ important-"

"Both of you, knock it off!" Green snapped. "This isn't the time!"

Both boys subsided into disgruntled mutterings, but otherwise obeyed. Green let out a controlled, exasperated sigh and rubbed his eyes with one hand.

"You two are the reason I get headaches," he muttered.

There was a moment of silence.

"...So, um, are we doing anything about this?" Red asked, pointing to the still-brightly-glowing pommel of his Sword.

"Well..." Vio said, scrutinizing the whole scene closely. "It's proximity-based, so... I can't _believe_ I'm saying this... maybe get as close as you can without actually touching the hole?"

"Okay," Red said brightly, and took the extra one-and-a-half steps that put him literally within inches of the reality-eating void. His three brothers promptly had minor heart attacks.

"What?" Red asked innocently, seeing their expressions. "You said to..."

"...That doesn't mean I'm okay with it," Green managed after a moment spent finding his voice again.

"Don't _do_ that!" Blue gasped. "_Din_, I thought you were going straight in..."

"Silly, I wouldn't do that," Red smiled. "Besides, I-"

Whatever he was going to say was abruptly cut off as the gem in Red's sword lit up like a firework, much to the surprise of the four Links who, unfortunately, had been more or less looking right at it. Caught off guard, Red flinched backwards – and in the process finished covering the extra six inches in between him and the hole.

He promptly vanished.

"CRAP!" Blue yelled, and sprinted forwards into the void, more on instinct than anything else. Considering the fact that both Vio and Green were right behind him, he couldn't really be judged on it either.

Of course, by the time their brains caught up with what they were actually doing, it was far too late to stop.

And all four Links disappeared into nothingness.

* * *

Farore was doing her happy dance. It looked rather like a Cucco stuck in Chu jelly while swimming underwater.

"...Please stop," Din said, grimacing. "That's freaking me out."

"I don't even care!" Farore enthused. "It worked! It finally worked!"

She did a little impromptu twirl.

"So your plan was to... what, flash them?" Nayru asked.

"No," Farore said, annoyed. "The plan was to use their Sacred Item to show that the hole wasn't dangerous. I _would_ have used the Triforce and shown them that way, but for some reason that particular aspect never picked it up, so I had to improvise. Luckily that Sword of theirs counts just as well."

"Well played," Nayru said approvingly. "Now what?"

"Now, " Farore said, flexing her hands, "we get down to business. Courage is about to meet himself, and I'm about to become very busy."

* * *

Red tumbled forwards and sprawled onto the ground, narrowly missing a remnant piece of metal from something that looked mechanical.

"Owww..." he whined, sitting up and rubbing his head. "That _really_ hurt..."

Three-and-a-half seconds later, his pain was exponentially doubled as Blue, Green, and Vio manifested and landed on top of him.

"...ow," Red whimpered.

"Red!?" Green exclaimed. "You're alright!"

Despite the fact that they were all piled on top of one another, they managed to give Red a group hug anyways.

"Why wouldn't I be alright?" Red asked, confused but returning the hug anyways. "I mean, I just fell a little..."

"You fell in the hole," Vio said solemnly. "We thought you'd been... you know."

Red absorbed that and frowned. "So... your first reaction was to throw yourselves after me?"

"...To be fair," Blue replied awkwardly, "I think we were too busy panicking to register that."

"Well, if you're done panicking, can we stand up now? It's getting hard to breathe under you guys."

"Oh! Sorry."

They took a few moments to extricate themselves from one another and stood, brushing off dirt and various pieces of debris from the ground, then decided it would be a good idea to check their surroundings.

There was the hole still, but that was about the only thing familiar. Instead of a mountaintop, the four Links were standing on a plain surrounded by mountains far off in the distance. There was what looked like the remains of some massive metal machine off to their right – most of it appeared to have been eaten by the hole – and the whole landscape in general looked barren.

"...This is new," Blue decided. "Any ideas what just happened? Or where we are?"

"If it weren't impossible due to the functionality of a void and the workings of physics, I'd say we just jumped across the spatial plane," Vio said, sounding like he'd swallowed a textbook. "But that's impossible..."

"And yet," Green said dryly, gesturing to their clearly not-where-they-used-to-be surroundings.

"I can see that, it's why I've got a headache right now," Vio retorted.

A loud _CLANGGGGGG_ from the remains of the metal machine made them all jump, which effectively cut off the conversation, and an unfamiliar voice groaned, "_Owww._ Okay, not doing that again..."

Green exchanged glances with his three counterparts, then stepped forward and called, "Hello?"

"Who's there?" the voice called back. "I don't know what brought people here, but it's kinda dangerous right now. You should probably leave."

"Well, we're a bit lost," Green replied, "and we don't really know where we are, so... can you give us directions?"

"Yeah, just hang on a sec," the voice said, and another _CLANGGGGGG_ reverberated through the plain, accompanied by another, "_Owww! _What the heck, I didn't even use the wrench that time!"

"...You okay?" Red asked.

"Fine, just... having some issues," the voice grumbled, now closer than it'd been before. "Note to self, don't use metal implements to knock metal pieces out of place, it just bounces off and hits me in the head."

"This guy sounds like a wackjob," Blue opined.

"Hey!" the owner of the voice protested, coming around the far corner of the metal machine. "I'll have you know... that... What in Nayru's Name?"

"Vio," Green said calmly. "Care to tell me why the Four Sword is malfunctioning?"

"This is just not a good day," Vio sighed, which told Green he was at a complete loss.

Standing in front of them was a boy who, aside from a few minor differences, looked _exactly_ like they did. Messy blond hair, wide eyes, unfortunately short stature, it was all there. He was even wearing the same outfit, hat and all.

"...That's _freaky_," Blue muttered.

"You're telling me," the lookalike agreed, staring. "Farore, it's like looking in a mirror that can look back!"

Red shivered. "That sounds creepy."

"_This_ is creepy," the new boy replied. "Who the heck are you people!?"

"Oh, uh, I'm Green," Green said, stumbling over his words a little due to the fact that he was having an internal panic attack but hiding it rather well. "This is Vio, over there is Blue, and that's Red," he finished, pointing as he named.

The lookalike raised an eyebrow. "You're named for the color of your clothes? Weird. Were your parents so surprised at having quadruplets that they ran out of inspiration or something?"

"What?" Blue asked, confused. "Quadrup- oh! No, we're not actually brothers, we just got split."

"Split?"

"Well, formerly we were a boy named Link," Vio explained. "But due to some complicated complications we-"

"Wait wait wait," the new boy interrupted. "Hold up. Did you say Link?"

"Yeah," Red said slowly. "That's our name. Why?"

The lookalike stared at them all for a few seconds before saying, "_My_ name is Link."

There was a long period of shocked silence.

"...What," Blue said eventually. He was too surprised to even make it a question.

It summed up everyone's thoughts quite nicely.

* * *

Despite multiple Death Threats, an absurd amount of fighting, Zant's continual demands for a sandwich, and the vast multitude of yelling, screaming, shouting, bellowing, roaring, shrieking, howling, and screeching that _every single voice_ in Demise's head seemed dead set on using, the villains had managed to come to a consensus regarding the naming problem.

Some of them didn't have a problem and just used their name, these being Majora (who had issues), Malladus (he claimed to be a Demon Lord; this amused Demise immensely), Bellum (distinguishable by being a squid; Demise still wasn't sure why this was), Zant (who was absolutely insane, but in the way that made him an idiot rather than evil), Onox (he liked to smash things with his mace, the bloodier the better), and Veran (who was a woman, and who had the personality of a lethal snake).

Then there were the duplicates, which were a bit more complicated. After much discussion, they'd decided to identify themselves based on what they did and where they came from, which was... simple, but effective. Hyrule Ganondorf was from Hyrule, obviously, and had managed to rule for seven years. Twilight Ganondorf had been banished to the Twilight Realm, and because he'd been the one to manipulate Zant into invading, Zant referred to him as 'his god'. Ocean Ganondorf came from a Hyrule that was completely underwater, and as a result was one of the two people who could understand Bellum. The other was Malladus, who apparently knew the language simply because both he and Bellum were demons.

Demon Vaati and Picori Vaati weren't all that hard to tell apart, mostly because Demon Vaati was a giant, one-eyed bat, and Picori Vaati had an actual body with hands and things, but their actions were quite different as well. Picori Vaati had, with the aid of a magical hat, had gone on a quest for something he called 'Force', while Demon Vaati had basically kidnapped the Princess but then turned out to be a puppet figurehead for Hyrule Ganon

Hyrule Ganon, not to be confused with Hyrule Ganondorf, had also been in Hyrule – obviously. He'd been the one behind Demon Vaati's takeover, and resembled a large, slightly blue pig. Lorule Ganon had, at one point, been summoned and controlled by a man named Yuga, and since Yuga was from Lorule had reluctantly consented to use the moniker until further notice. He also resembled a large pig, with the exception of being slightly purple instead of blue.

Then there was Original Ganon, though what made him original was anybody's guess. He'd been waiting for the Hero to challenge him for two years and counting by this point, and was colored a bright teal, with an unusual weakness to silver. And lastly, there was Past Ganon. He'd also been summoned, but by a man named Agahnim, and then later by a pair of witches working with Onox and Veran. Apparently he didn't take very well to that kind of thing and had responded by taking over Agahnim entirely.

Demise approved of that, at least.

Unfortunately, that was about the only thing he approved of. The villains had decided that if he wasn't going to release them willingly, then they would simply have to _force_ him to release them.

And after discovering that physical torture was off the list of methods, they'd moved on to something that was almost worse.

Annoyance.

And thus, Demise found himself being forced to listen to a game of cards that made so little sense he doubted if the players even knew what they were doing.

_I play the Queen of Hearts, forcing everyone else to Go Fish,_ Veran said.

_Curse you, woman,_ Ocean Ganondorf growled. _I'd almost gotten rid of all my Red Threes, Fives, and Sixes!_

_Oh shut up, that would have only gotten you eight points at the most,_ Lorule Ganon sighed. _I move my Joker to the nineteenth space, forcing the rest of you to get rid of your clubs and causing a sudden deficit in the golfing world._

There was a surge of annoyed grumbles as the other players discarded their clubs.

_My turn,_ Picori Vaati said. _I draw... and now I can declare Cribbage! I challenge Bellum in the art of the Poker Face for the entirety of his spade cards._

Bellum made a bubbling noise, followed by a few moments of silence -

_HAH!_ Picori Vaati exulted as Bellum bubbled violently. _Now All Your Spades Are Belong To Us!_

_Nice play,_ Malladus said approvingly, and a _slap_ noise indicated that he'd given his cards partner a high-five.

_Not so fast,_ Majora said coolly. _I use the Ace of Diamonds to activate a Dutch Blitz and combine it with my Black Jack to take the Fish Pond._

_That is not a valid move!_ Onox protested.

_Yes it is. The Fish Pond is still in existence from Veran's turn, when we all had to Go Fishing. It lasts two-and-a-quarter rounds, remember?_

Onox huffed angrily, but said nothing else.

_My turn!_ Zant exclaimed excitedly. _I activate my Face-Down, Monster Reborn! Wiith it, I can resurrect one of my defeated monsters, and I choose Dark Magician! Then I combine my Dark Magician with the Staff of Mystics, giving him three thousand attack points and letting him attack your Life Points directly! With that, Hyrule Ganondorf is disqualified and I end my turn!_

There was dead silence for a moment.

_...Zant, _**_what _**_are you doing?_

_Playing card games. Oh, do we have any motorcycles? Because then we could play card games on motorcycles, and that would be fun. We could have Peahats for helmets!_

_Excuse me, everyone, I'll handle this,_ Twilight Ganondorf said. _Zant, do you actually know what comes out of your mouth or do you just blabber like a mindless twit?_

_Launch the cabbage cannons!_

_That's what I thought. Majora, please incinerate his cards, I have no idea where he got them from._

There was a sizzling sound, followed by Zant's anguished cry of, _NO! NOT THE KURIBOH! HE WAS SO YOUNG!_

_How, exactly, did you ever get him to do anything for you if he's this idiotic?_ Ocean Ganondorf asked curiously.

_I bribed him with Peahats. _

The rest of the villains made 'Ohhhh' noises, while Zant sobbed for whatever a Kuriboh was in the background.

_Shall we get back to the game?_ Onox asked impatiently. _It's my turn._

_By all means._

_Right. I play..._

There was a pause, and the sound of shuffling.

_Aha!_ Onox declared. _I have a straight flush!_

_That means you're out,_ Veran informed him.

_What!? No it doesn't, it – oh wait. Curses._

_Dangit,_ Picori Vaati muttered. _There goes my last teammate._

Bellum made some bubbling noises, and after a moment of awkward silence Malladus spoke up with, _He says he wasn't paying attention and wants to know what happened to the others._

_YOU were the 'others'!_ Picori Vaati sputtered. _Lorule Ganon played the eight of hearts which let him steal a teammate and he stole you! It was in the very first turn! _

There was another series of bubbles, and Malladus translated, _He does not remember this._

_I – You – Just forget it._

Bellum responded with a large string of bubble noises which went on for a good thirty seconds or so.

_Bellum says that he activates his Pair of Fours, making every other Pair obsolete and winning the hand for this round._

There was an explosive amount of cursing, followed by loud complaints and grumbles as the other players got rid of any Pairs they had.

_And... that marks the end of the round,_ Original Ganon commented. _Annoyance Check!_

Demise's whole head immediately went silent, and he gritted his teeth. "No, I am not going to release you, and no, I'm not even annoyed enough to consider it. Also, no, there's nothing you can do to _make_ me consider it, and no, I do not care about whatever you'll come up with next because, no, I am _not_ going to release you!"

_...Maybe if we tried bad music,_ Demon Vaati mused.

_That could work. Does anybody have banjos?_

_I have this mental construct, will that work?_

_Close enough!_

Demise just barely held in a groan.

* * *

**8/20/16**

**Just to clarify, the card game isn't supposed to make sense. And if I messed something up with the YuGiOh! Reference... well, I could never figure out the rules to that thing anyways.**

**I like the 'Links meet themselves' scene much better this time, though. And I finally came up with a better way to get them through the hole than that weird 'spot of color' nonsense I was using beforehand.**

** Changeling**


	6. Link, Meet Link Again

**This is a disclaimer. Feel free to ignore it as it has nothing to do with the plotline whatsoever.**

* * *

Despite the fact that the whole thing was their idea in the first place, the Three Godesses still held their breath and crossed their fingers as the two aspects of Courage met themselves, and exhaled sighs of relief when they didn't decide to kill each other. The Interference Laws meant that they couldn't intervene if something went wrong – which meant that if something _did_ go wrong, they were basically dead because this was their only plan to save the Universe and they hadn't thought of a backup yet.

In their defense, they hadn't had much time to make said plan but still, it was not their best move. Hence the sighs of relief when the plan went according to... well, the plan.

"Good," Farore exhaled. "First introduction down, only about ten more to go. Ish."

"'Ish'?" Din repeated. "Why 'Ish'?"

"The Hero of Light is technically only one person," Farore informed her.

"Yeah... so?"

"So, do I count his one original personality in one body, or the four current personalities in four different bodies?"

Din paused. "...Okay, I see your point."

"Can we not bother with the stupid stuff right now?" Nayru interrupted. "They're bonding, and I want to watch. It's kind of cute."

Her sisters crowded around and peered down at reality, where the five Links were scrutinizing each other and occasionally poking.

"...Yeah, that is kinda adorable," Din admitted.

"Just wait 'til there's more," Farore grinned, then frowned. "I do hope they'll all get along..."

"He's your Attribute, shouldn't you know?" Din asked.

"Look at it this way. If you met yourself, would you like you?"

Din considered this. "...No. I would think I was an overzealous power-freak with violent tendancies."

"My point exactly," Farore said. "So... here's hoping."

* * *

"So just to clarify this completely," Green summarized, "we're all Link in some way or another."

"Seems like it," Vio agreed. "I don't know if we're related somehow, or if this might be an alternate dimension, but for all intents and purposes we appear to be to versions of the same person." He looked as though he couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth even though he was the one saying them.

The new boy – Link – scowled at the middle distance. "I really don't know about that. I mean, how do I know that you're not manifestations created by Malladus in his absence to kill me while I'm not looking?"

"Who?" Red asked blankly. Link matched his look almost blink for blink.

"...You're kidding me," he said. "Seriously? You don't know who Malladus is?"

"An illness?" Blue offered. "Malladus, malady... sounds similar."

"You know what a malady is?" Vio asked, surprised.

"Hey, just because I'm not as good at the smart stuff as you doesn't mean I don't know things! I _listen_ to your weird lectures every now and then, okay!"

"Could have fooled me," Vio sighed. "But I'm gratified to know that you learned something."

"_Malladus_," Link interrupted pointedly, "is a demon who possessed Zelda's body and sent me and her spirit on a country-wide quest to stop him from destroying Hyrule. You remember the evil trains that tried to kill everyone on the rails?"

He received four identically confused looks in response.

"Okay, is _any_ of this ringing a bell for you?" Link asked in exasperation.

"Well, we do know Zelda," Green conceded. "But we left her in Hyrule Castle with the other six Maidens. She should have been safe there... and I _really_ think we would have heard if she got her body stolen, right guys?"

"She got it back though, right?" Red asked in concern.

"Yeah, she did," Link nodded, smiling at the memory. "But how do you know Zelda? She would have mentioned if she knew quadruplets who looked like me, I'm pretty sure..."

Blue huffed. "For the fourth time, we're _not_ quadruplets. We're one guy magically split into four people, okay?"

"...If you say so," Link said doubtfully. Green frowned.

"So you're perfectly accepting of Zelda losing her body, her spirit following you around, a spiritual Train, a demonic Train, and just demons in general, but when one boy splits into four it's suddenly too weird to be true?"

Link turned a bit red. "Well, when you put it like that..."

Vio sighed. "Okay, maybe we should start over. We're the Hero of Light, formerly named Link, but we go by nicknames to avoid confusion. I'm Vio, that's Green, he's Red, and that's Blue. Nice to meet you, what's your name?"

"Link, Hero of Trains," Link said, amused. "Nice to meet you all too."

"Hero of _Trains_?" Blue repeated, a grin breaking onto his face. "What, did the poor machines run out of coal and need someone to shovel more in?"

"Don't even start with me!" Link snapped. "You didn't even know what a train was until I explained it to you!"

"About that," Vio interrupted. "If we didn't know what a train was despite the fact that living here would make it impossible for us _not_ to know what a train was, why do you still think we might be lying?"

Link stopped mid-sentence and worked his jaw for a few seconds before snapping it shut and scowling at the middle distance again.

"...I don't know," he admitted ruefully. "It was easier to believe than the alternative, I guess."

"True," Green agreed. "It's a lot nicer to think that some people are just ignorant rather than that they're from an alternate universe suddenly connected by voids that are simultaneously eating away at the fabric of reality itself."

Link winced. "Zelda said something about that, but... I didn't really want to believe it."

"I don't think any of us do," Vio said solemnly

They all regarded said hole, which they were a solid fifty feet from, in silence.

"...So, um, I'm kinda curious," Red said. "About what you did, and stuff. Would you mind telling us about it?"

Link frowned. "Uhh... well, I told you about Malladus, kinda. Basically he stole Zelda's body and masqueraded as her while Zelda herself floated around and eventually found me because I was the only one who could see her, for some reason."

"Again, _why_ is our circumstance so hard to believe if _that _happens to you?" Blue asked.

"I get it, you're telling the truth, point taken," Link said, rolling his eyes. "Anyways, we got into an adventure, lots of complicated stuff happened, there was a Train battle, and then poof! Hole." He motioned vaguely over his shoulder in the general direction of the void. "That's a vast simplification, but the whole story would take a _lot_ longer."

"Alright," Green said, smiling mischievously. "Our turn. A large purple bat named Vaati kidnapped Zelda and the six Maidens and took over Hyule, and in order to stop him we drew the Four Sword which did this," he motioned to his three other counterparts. "We got into an adventure, lots of complicated stuff happened, we climbed a mountain for the Final Confrontation, and then poof! Hole."

"You stole my lines," Link accused.

"Well, it was a vast simplification, but the whole story would take a _lot_ longer."

"I don't think I like you anymore," Link muttered, but with a grin on his face. "So... you're really me from another Hyrule?"

"Pretty much," Blue confirmed. Link took a deep breath as he accepted that, then frowned.

"Er... this is only just occurring to me, but... how did you guys even _get_ here?"

The four Links looked at each other.

"It... kinda started when my sword started glowing?" Red hedged hesitantly. "And then things kinda snowballed."

"We noticed that our weapons glowed in direct correlation with proximity to the void," Vio explained. "So we did some experiments that put Red a little too close, and when his sword lit up correspondingly it startled him a bit and he went over backwards into the hole."

"Then we all freaked out and jumped after him, and ended up here," Blue finished.

"Wait, so they're portals?" Link said in surprise. "Shoot. One of the first things I tried to close it was to use my items on it, and I know I put at least a few bombs and more than a few arrows into that thing before I tried something else. I didn't even think I might be blowing something up on the other side..."

"But if we're the other side, we would have seen evidence of that," Vio mused. "There was nothing to indicate a possible connection."

"So then... what, this is all a fluke?" Green asked worriedly. "One time luck of the draw type thing? How are we going to get back if that's true?"

"We don't know that we can't," Vio reassured his leader, though he looked worried as well.

"You said your swords lit up?" Link checked. When he received nods, he said, "Well, why don't you try that? If they glow, you know you can get back."

"That's not half-bad," Blue said. He unsheathed his sword, so he wouldn't have to crane his neck around, and took slow, measured steps towards the void. Sure enough, the blue stone in the pommel began to light up the closer he got.

"Well that answers that," Green said in relief. Link, meanwhile, blinked rapidly at the glowing weapon. Despite the whole thing being his suggestion, he still hadn't quite accepted the whole situation and was thus significantly surprised.

"...I kinda thought you were making that up," he admitted slowly, approaching Blue and poking a finger at the glowing gem. "That's... weird and kinda pretty at the same time."

Blue wasn't paying attention to this, however. "Dude, yours is doing it too."

Link paused and processed that, then turned his head to get a better look at his own weapon. In the crossguard of the Lokomo Sword, the single golden gem was emitting the same level of light that the Four Sword was. Link's jaw dropped.

"Well," Red offered, "at least you _really_ know we're not lying now."

Link stared at his sword, then at the four boys who he was now really, actually realizing were _him_ in some way, then at the hole a couple dozen feet away.

"...You mentioned something about the Universe dying?" he said slowly. "I'm thinking that there's a possibility that I _may_ be supposed to be involved in fixing it."

"Oh thank goodness," Blue said. "I was beginning to wonder if it was just the four of us again. Saving Hyrule is one thing, saving the Universe is entirely something else."

"Yeah," Link replied, frowing at the hole. "So... what, do we just jump at it?"

The colored Links exchanged glances with each other.

"...No idea," Green admitted. "Let's go with 'Yes' and see if it works?"

"Right. Okay. I'm about to do something stupid and probably extremely dangerous with the vague hope that it won't kill me. Cool."

"So, nothing new then?" Red clarified.

"Pretty much," Link agreed. He then threw himself into a sprint and, eyes tightly shut, ran straight into the void and disappeared.

"...I really hope he's not dead," Blue commented, before screwing up his courage and doing the exact same thing, his three brothers right behind him.

* * *

One dimension over, the Hero of Hyrule was debating whether or not he should leave the hole and go find his shield, which he'd _already _lost – though he wasn't sure when. On one hand, having a shield made him much less likely to die.

On the other hand, once he left the hole in search of his shield, the odds of him finding it again were... basically nonexistent. Link, while adamant that he was not _that_ bad at directions, was also smart enough to acknowledge when he had a problem. And losing the reality-threatening hole would _definitely_ count as a problem.

With a heavy sigh, Link resigned himself to going shieldless for a while longer, and turned his attention back to the hole-

-just in time to catch a glimpse of the smallish, green-clothed boy right before he landed on top of him.

"_Ow_," Link complained through the face-full of dirt he now had. "What just hap-"

Four more boys abruptly landed on top of the both of them, effectively cutting off anything Link had been about to say and putting a highly uncomfortable amount of weight on his ribcage. He wheezed squeakily as his lungs deflated, but nobody heard it because they were all too busy arguing with each other.

"Vio!" someone snapped. "Get off my leg!"

"I can't, Green's on top of my shoulders," somebody else retorted.

"Well you're _both_ on top of my stomach," a third voice moaned from right above Link, "so maybe we can fix that before anything else?"

"Sure," a fourth voice replied. "I just need Red to get off my torso so I can get off Vio."

"Oh, sorry!" a fifth voice exclaimed, and the weight on top of Link decreased by a bit. A pair of legs shuffled into his vision, and the fifth voice said, "Hey, guys? I think we landed on somebody."

"You know, that would explain the soft landing," the third voice commented.

"Don't be getting snarky now, that's my job," the first voice warned, and then the whole pile on top of Link began shifting. The weight disappeared within a few seconds, and Link drew in a gasping breath as his lungs were suddenly freed.

"Sorry," one of the voices apologized. "We didn't even think we'd land _on_ somebody..."

"No harm done," Link gasped. "I think."

"Want a hand?" another voice asked, extending said appendage into Link's field of vision. He blinked at it, then took it and used the leverage to haul himself to his feet.

"Thanks," he said. "Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but did you just fall out of the hole that's eating the world?"

"No, that's about right," one of the boys said, looking at him. Come to think of it, all five of them were looking at him rather closely.

"...Is there something on my face?" Link asked slowly.

"D'you think?" the boy in blue asked one of the boys in green.

"Not sure," the green-clothed one answered. "Vio?"

The boy in purple gave Link a much more thorough look-over. "Definitely possible," he said. "Lots of facial similarity, which makes up for the hair."

"What's wrong with my hair?" Link protested. Then he frowned and asked, "And why do you all look alike?"

The boy in purple – Vio – ignored this and instead asked, "What's your name?"

"Link," Link said. "Why?"

The five boys (quintuplets, maybe?) exchanged glances.

"You may wanna sit back down for this one," the other boy in green suggested.

"For... what?"

"I'm also Link," the second green boy informed him. "And so are these four here."

"Well, technically we're one boy named Link currently split into four separate personality aspects," Vio rattled off. "But... yeah, we're Link."

"Nice to meet you!" the boy in red chirped.

Link stared. Then, very slowly, he lowered himself to the ground and sat himself firmly on the dirt.

"...You okay?" the blue-clothed boy – did that make him Blue? That was original – checked.

"This week just got exponentially more bizarre than I thought it could," Link decided.

* * *

Ten minutes later had Link getting the full story, more or less, and attempting to process everything he'd just been told. Granted, there was a lot to process.

"So you," he said, pointing at the other Link, "come from a world where Hyrule relies on large metal... what did you call them?"

"Machines," the other Link told him. "The specific ones I'm talking about are called trains."

"Right," Link said, frowning. "Your Hyrule relies on... trains... to get around? What happened to horses?"

"...What's a horse?"

Link, and the four other boys he'd learned were named for the color of their clothing, stared at him.

"...What do you mean, 'What's a horse'?" Blue asked incredulously. "They're large farm animals that you can ride to get places faster. You know... a horse."

He received a blank look in return.

"Okay, never mind that then," Link decided, on the grounds that he had more important things to be confused over than an odd lack of livestock. "Back to the trains. You had a Train Battle to save your country?"

"That's a _very_ short version, but yeah," the other Link agreed.

"And you guys," Link said, turning to point a finger at the four colored Links, "were previously one person who got split into four by a magical sword."

"Putting it bluntly," Vio sighed.

"And all five of you," Link continued, "are versions of me from various other dimensions?"

"That about sums it up," Green confirmed.

Link considered this carefully.

"...How good are you with directions?" he asked after a few moments.

"I can read a map just fine," the other Link said.

"Vio's our navigator," Green said, "and he's pretty good at it, all things considered."

"Oh thank goodness, I was worried it'd be contagious," Link sighed. "Okay. I'm up for saving the Universe and all that, but I need to find my shield first and I have a... complicated relationship with directions. Can you guys help me look?"

"You lost your shield?" Red asked in slight disbelief. "But... how do you fight stuff?"

"I improvise," Link replied, shrugging. "And I run a lot. Which also means I get lost a lot, which means I can't usually find my shield because I'm too busy trying to find myself... did that make sense?"

"No," Vio informed him.

"Dang. Anyways, I think it's over there..." he waved his arm in a general 'everywhere' direction, "...somewhere."

"...And here I though meeting you was interesting," Blue commented to the other Link.

* * *

**8/27/16**

**Kinda short, but if I go any further with it I'm gonna start infringing on the other chapters, and I don't wanna do that.**

**The more I rewrite, the more I like this story SO much better. And now the fun parts are coming... I get to rewrite Lore soon.**

***Grins***

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to Alcidis Aurora, Vio29, Girl of Twilight Wings, MelancholyMelody1995, Maj0ra, and KnownFor HardlyNothing for favoriting/following! **


	7. Nicknames

**Insert obligatory disclaimer here, stating that I do not own a specified franchise and that all characters belonging to said franchise are property of said franchise's creator, whom I am not.**

* * *

"Hey, Link?" Red asked.

"What?" Link said, at the same time that the other Link said, "Yeah?"

"No, the Link with brown hair and bad direction," Red clarified.

"Oh, right. Sorry," the other, blond Link said.

"What was the question?" the brunet Link asked.

"What does your shield look like?"

Link thought for a moment, as it'd been a while since he'd last seen it and all the details weren't as firm in his mind as they used to be. "It's large and brown, with a red cross. Why?"

"I think it's in that tree," Red replied, pointing.

Link followed his finger and squinted. Sure enough, there was a tree, with something large, brown, and squarish lodged between two branches near the top.

"Hey, that's a whole five feet lower than the last tree!" Link exclaimed happily.

"Wait, what?" Blue said. "The _last_ tree? You mean to say that this isn't the first time you've gotten your shield in a tree?"

"No," Link replied simply. "Although last time was because a flock of Keese stole it when I wasn't looking because of the Like-Like horde."

"...I'm slightly scared to ask," the blond Link began, "but what was the reason this time around?"

"Oh, I was running from a four-headed dragon for about an hour or so, got lost, and ended up in the middle of a minion horde rather than a generic monster horde. Then there was a panicked stampede, and I kinda lost track after that because everything got a bit muddled."

"...You're joking."

"Well, compared to the one and two-headed dragons, the four-headed dragon was actually the slowest runner of the bunch, probably from all the extra heads. Running from the one-headed dragon took a bit over three hours.."

"That's not what I meant," the other Link protested. "I was talking about – wait how many dragons have you ran from?"

"Oh, just the three," the brown-haired Link assured him. "The three-headed dragon was asleep when I found him, and the five-headed dragon is just too lazy to bother with me."

Every so slightly, the blond Link twitched.

"Link, you okay?" Vio checked.

"I'm fine, why?" the brunet one said in a confused tone at the same time the blond one said, "I've just got a slight headache is all."

"Right, that's annoying." Vio muttered. "Link with bad direction, shush. Link with trains, could you repeat that?"

Link duly repeated himself.

"Alright, just checking," Vio said. "But I don't think we can keep calling you both 'Link'. This is only going to get more confusing the longer it goes."

The two Links exchanged glances with each other.

"Yeah, but... if we can't use 'Link', what do we call ourselves?" the blond Link asked. "I mean, I've only ever had the one name."

"We can use nicknames!" Red exclaimed suddenly. "That's what Green, Blue, Vio and I do, and it worked out great for us!"

Blond Link regarded him dubiously. "That's nice, but I don't think my clothing color is going to be the best choice here, since 'Green' is already taken."

"And I don't really think I want to go by 'Brown'," Brunet Link decided, looking down at his sleeves. "It kinda gives the wrong impression, you know?"

"Not those kinds of nicknames, silly," Red snickered. He pointed at Blond Link and asked, "Your title is the Hero of Trains, right?"

"Right..." Blond Link replied slowly.

"Wanna use it?"

Blond Link blinked. "What now?"

"Do you want to use 'Train' as your nickname?" Red elaborated.

"No!" Link sputtered.

"Why not?"

"Because 'Train' is a stupid thing to name somebody!"

"But it's nicely relevant to you and your adventure and not at all a really obvious tie-in to your mode of transportation!" Red pleaded. Blond Link glared at him.

"You. Are. NOT. Naming. Me. _Train._"

Red deflated a bit, but rallied right back to the challenge. "Alright then. Vio?"

"Yeah?"

"What kinds of things are associated with trains?"

Vio raised an eyebrow. "Red, we only just learned what trains _are_ a few hours ago. What makes you think I know about them now?"

Red just gave him an expectant look.

"...Okay, yes, I read the instruction manual that Link had, but that still doesn't mean I'm an expert!"

"Please?" Red chirped.

Vio sighed. "Umm... gears, pistons, wheels, tracks, engines, coal, steam, whistle-"

"Ooh, I liked that other one," Red interrupted. "What do you think, Link?"

Blond Link tilted his head. "Uhh... which one are we talking about...?"

"Steam!" Red said. "Trains make it, right? Nicknaming by association."

"...It's better than 'Train'," Link admitted. "But I'm not sure I-"

"Steam it it!" Red cheered.

"That wasn't an agreeing sentence!" Link yelped.

"Your turn!" Red told an apprehensive Brunet Link, completely ignoring the protests coming from his previous victim. "What's your title?"

"Nothing fancy like his," Brunet Link said. "I'm just the Hero of Hyrule."

Red paused, almost literally putting his enthusiasm on 'stop'. "Awww, we can't call you that."

"...Eh?"

"Hyrule," Red explained. "We can't call you 'Hyrule', it's already taken. Besides, think about how confusing that would be."

"Yeah, about as confusing as having two Links at once," Blue said dryly.

"Exactly!" Red agreed, completely missing the joke. "Okay, Hyrule is a country... which is a land... which is a place... Vio, can you list some words that mean 'country'?"

"It's called a synonym," Vio sighed.

Red frowned. "...No, I don't like that one. Are there any others?"

"No, a synonym is – never mind. Yes, there's others, just give me a second... state, tribe, empire, realm, union, land, area, turf, kingdom, territory, province-"

"Wait, go back," Red interrupted again. "What was that one that started with an 'R'?"

"Realm," Vio replied after cycling through the list in his head again.

"Do you like that one?" Red asked the currently-without-a-nickname Link, practically bouncing in place.

"Uhhh..." Link responded decisively. Blond Link took the stall in the conversation to put in, "And I never agreed to mine either!"

"Please?" Red asked. His eyes which were already considerably large, somehow got even wider until both Blond and Brunet Links were looking at a passable representation of an adorable puppy. They spent a moment silently cursing their weakness to adorable puppies before exchanging helpless glances with each other.

"...It's better than 'Train'," the newly-dubbed Steam decided.

"And there's definitely worse things to be called," Realm agreed.

"Yay!" Red cheered, giving them both spontaneous hugs. "You like them!"

Over Red's shoulders, the other three colored Links gave the new guys sympathetic smiles.

"The new names grow on you, trust me," Blue whispered to them with a knowing smirk.

"I'll take your word for it," Steam replied.

Realm just smiled, then remembered something and cleared his throat. "Uh... not to ruin the moment or anything, but we still need to get my shield down from the tree."

"I've got it," Vio said, pulling out his Bow and nocking an arrow on it. It took a few shots, because the shield was really lodged in there, but eventually an arrow dislodged it entirely and the shield bounced to the ground with a resounding metallic _clanggggggg._

"And here I was gonna try climbing for it," Realm said, grinning as he picked up his equipment and slung it onto his back – and frowning as something struck him as off. He twisted his head around to look, stared for a few seconds, then turned to face the other five Links with a sheepishly resigned look on his face.

"By any chance," he began awkwardly, "did any of you seen my sword while you were looking earlier? I seem to have misplaced it."

"...You're kidding," Blue said blankly. "You've _got_ to be kidding. How in Nayru's Name do you lose track of your _sword?"_

Realm shrugged. "Actually, it's been a little over four days or so since I lost my sword the last time. That's pretty good as far as I'm concerned."

"Let me get this straight," Steam interrupted. "Ninety percent of the time you have no idea where you are. Fifty percent of the time you don't know where your shield is, and the other fifty percent you don't know where your sword is. You run into a ridiculous amount of monsters, it takes you ages to get _anywhere_, and you can't read a map to save your life?"

"That about sums it up," Realm agreed.

"...Exactly how long have you been at this whole Hero thing?" Green asked.

Realm considered this. "Um... a couple years, give or take a few months?"

"Do you have _any_ idea where your villain is?" Vio questioned.

"Yes," Realm said defensively. "And I'll have you know that I'm almost ready to challenge him. I just... have some issues figuring out how to get there."

"Without your sword," Steam pointed out bluntly. Realm turned red.

"Yes, well... I did say 'almost'."

Everyone stared at him for a few seconds.

"...I know that I just met you," Blue said slowly. "And I know that you're probably very capable of being a Hero once you get to wherever it is you're going. But if it legitimately takes you that long, and you lose your stuff that often, _how_ in the _world_ do you ever get anything done?"

Realm just shrugged again.

* * *

"Alright," Farore nodded in satisfaction. "I think we can safely say that those six are not going to be killing each other. Time for phase two!"

"Now that events are in motion, we can work ahead to the aspects further up the timeline," Nayru mused. Din gave her an odd look.

"Why did you say that out loud?"

Nayru paused, and blinked. "Well, because I was explaining it."

"To whom?" Din asked. "It's Farore's plan, so she already knows, and both you and I know what she's doing. We're the only ones here. Who are you explaining it to?"

"I would tell you," Nayru said slowly, "but that would require breaking some walls, and we both know the Universe is too unstable for that right now."

Din absorbed that, and her eyes widened as she nodded in understanding. "Oh, _right_. Sorry, I'm just kinda used to us addressing them directly."

"Din," Farore called warningly.

"Sorry!" Din replied. "Geez, this is going to be harder than I thought..."

"Just do what I do," Nayru said, shrugging. "Say everything out loud to make up for the fact that we're ignoring them."

"Girls," Farore interrupted. "I think I've found the next candidate. He's even heading in the right direction."

"Which one is this, then?" Din asked.

"This is the one I had to make a special intervention for," Farore said. "With that piece of nasty Curse work."

"Oh, the wolf-one," Nayru remembered. "Good choice. He tends to take things in stride, doesn't he?"

"Exactly," Farore agreed. "A dimensional rift shouldn't get more than a raised eyebrow and a shrug."

"Let's get to it then," Din said.

* * *

One timeline over, Link was having an argument.

This wasn't anything new, per se. His partner, Midna, was an insufferable little Princess who was convinced she was always right and had the attitude to back it up, and as such the two of them got into their fair share of spats.

The reason this particular one was worth noting, however, was because Midna had just turned Link into a wolf, and the 'arguing' part of the argument was rendered rather moot considering that Link was currently unable to speak Hylian, much less words.

So he settled for glaring at her instead.

"Oh, don't give me that," Midna sighed. "You know I don't enjoy it when you sulk."

_"I am _not_ sulking," _Link growled – literally.

Now, Midna, not being a wolf, couldn't actually understand Link at the moment. Normally, this wasn't much of an issue because they had workarounds: turning his head and blinking meant 'I want to warp', twitching both his ears meant 'Change me back', and everything else Link wanted to say could usually be postponed until he was Hylian again, or communicated through body language and the occasional snarl depending on how much Midna was annoying him.

In this case, however, Link could tell Midna had no intention of changing him back, and he had no real way of telling her _exactly_ how he felt about the whole situation. Midna knew this, naturally. And so, when faced with Link's growled response, she reacted as only she could.

"What's that?" she asked, hand perched tauntingly on the outside of her helmet where her ear would be. "I don't think I heard you, there's some sort of loud dog around."

Link pegged her with another glare, then whipped around and stalked away, tail lashing behind him. If that was how she was going to be, then he wasn't going to waste his time.

Unfortunately, Midna had other ideas.

"Where are _you_ going?" she asked slyly, floating along above his head and flashing her fanged grin at him. "We've got a job to do, remember?"

_"No, _I've_ got a job to do,"_ Link retorted, forgetting that he couldn't be understood. _"I'm the one with the weapons, I'm the one doing the job. And don't you even start with me on that!"_

Midna did not start with him, mostly because his entire sentence had gone right over her head. Instead, she rolled her eyes and announced, "Goddesses, you whine too much."

_"I'm not whining,"_ Link said with false calm. _"I'm actually incredibly pleased with my current situation."_

Even though she couldn't hear the words, Midna could definitely hear the sarcasm and she grinned. Link was rarely sarcastic; in fact, most of the time he was content to listen and watch and take everything in stride. The fact that he was retaliating told her exactly how annoyed he was, and Midna took a moment to relish it. An annoyed Link was a real rarity to her.

"Geez, what got under _your_ fur?" she taunted.

Link threw a third – and by this point, slightly ineffective – glare at her, and pointedly turned his back.

"Oh?" Midna mused. "Are you ignoring me?"

Link's left ear twitched, but other than that he gave no response that he'd heard.

"Are you sure you want to be doing that?" Midna's voice suddenly sounded in his ear. Ironically enough, it was the one that had twitched. Link stiffened, but determinedly kept his gaze fixed in front of him.

"Right then," Midna said cheerfully, which made Link shudder. The only times he remembered Midna being cheerful had ended badly for him. "You brought this upon yourself."

Her hand shot out and latched onto a certain spot behind Link's ear, and Link froze.

_"Midna..."_ he said apprehensively.

"I warned you," she said flippantly. And she began scratching Link's head.

The day she had discovered Link's sweet spot had been a day of joy – for Midna, anyways. Link on the other hand regarded that discovery with the attitude that one would generally have towards their least favorite vegetable. He hadn't even known he _had_ a sweet spot until Midna had found it. He certainly hadn't had one before he'd been turned into a wolf.

The present day was a completely different story. Not only did he have a sweet spot, but it apparently now existed whether he was Hylian or not, and scratching it basically turned him into a content pile of fluff.

Case in point, Link was already leaning into the scratch despite the yelling of his brain at the rest of him to do _anything_ else. If he weren't currently being scratched, he would absolutely listen, but... it felt _very _nice...

Midna kept up the motion for a few seconds longer before withdrawing her hand and smirking in a very satisfied fashion. Link took a few more seconds to shake himself back into alertness and made to glare at her again-

"Oh, you want more, little wolf?" Midna asked innocently, raising her hand again. Link stopped mid-glare and huffed irritably instead.

"Good," his partner snickered. "Now, we're going to come at this from a more reasonable perspective this time, okay? Talk like nice civilized imps and goatherds."

Link grumbled at the ground. The downside of Midna controlling his transformations was just that: Midna controlled his transformations. She wasn't going to change him back until he agreed.

Even more annoying was the fact that, until she changed him back, he couldn't tell her off for it. And on top of everything else, she was _not_ above using his sweet spot to make him obey, and the sheer nature of their partnership made running impossible.

So really, Link had absolutely no choice in the matter, and both he and Midna knew it. Therefore, Link heaved a sigh and gave his partner a short, if annoyed, nod and flicked both his ears in their 'Change me back' signal.

"Pleasure doing business with you," Midna teased, tapping Link's forehead and drawing out the Curse Stone in one smooth movement. As usual, the Stone took with it an awful lot of Twilight stuff, and the ensuing cloud completely hid Link for a brief moment. When it cleared he was standing on two feet, arms crossed, eyes narrowed, and giving Midna the kind of stare that meant he was _not_ going down that easily.

"You know there are easier ways to get your point across," Link informed his partner.

"They're not as fun, though," Midna pouted.

"_How_ was turning me into an animal who can't talk going to solve this, though?" Link challenged. Midna considered that, absentmindedly tossing the Curse Stone in one hand.

"...It's a lot easier to manipulate you when you can't talk back," she decided. Link groaned to himself and ran a hand down his face; that was classically Midna.

"The only thing it did though," he pointed out after a moment, "was 'force' me to talk about it, which I'd already been doing before you changed me when I wasn't looking."

"Oh?" Midna replied. "And what was it that you were saying? I'm afraid I wasn't paying much attention, there was this cute little wolf and it distracted me."

Link sighed again. "I was saying that I strongly disagreed."

"And why do you do that?" Midna asked, rolling her eyes at him.

"Because it's reckless, liable to get you or someone else killed, and is quite possibly the worst idea you've ever had."

Midna raised a finger-

"_Including_ the one where I got shot from a cannon," Link interrupted, staring her down. Midna just shrugged.

At the time of said cannon idea, Link had been quite adamant that it was the worst idea she'd ever had. It wasn't so much what they were using it for, or where he was going; it was the fact that he was literally being used as cannon fodder, and he was quite sure that there was a distinct possibility of him getting blown to bits rather than up to the Occa's city. The fact that there was a new 'Worst Idea Midna's Ever Had' was a fairly significant event.

"Well then," Midna said after a moment. "Do you have any _better_ ideas?"

Link internally cursed his luck, because _of course_ she would ask that question. The problem was that he actually didn't have a better idea; he just really, _really_ didn't want to use the current one.

"Look, Midna, you know as well as me that the Fused Shadows are dangerous. I know that you've got a higher tolerance than most people, but remember Darbus? Just touching that thing turned him into a mindless monster, and here you want to put on _all_ of them?" Link gestured at the air in an attempt to express his feelings on the subject even more than he already was. "I get that it's to storm the Castle and rescue Zelda, and I'm completely behind that course of action, but could we _please_ find some other way of doing it?"

"Link, I've been wearing a Fused Shadow this whole time," Midna reminded him. "I'm perfectly fine. I'd even say I've built up a tolerance."

"That's just one piece," Link reiterated. "Who knows what could happen if you put on all four! Twilight magic is _dangerous_, Midna, and don't even try to tell me you don't know that. Remember what happened to Yeta? I don't even think she so much as _touched_ that Mirror Shard. Heck, all she did was look at it, and what happened?"

"She rampaged," Midna summarized in a bored tone. "I know, Link, I was there."

"So was I, and I was the one who had to deal with her!" Link exclaimed.

"So you're worried," Midna stated. Link gave her a flat look.

"I'm a wolf," he said bluntly. "We travel in packs. Right now, I have a _very_ small pack, and it basically consists of you." He thought for a moment, then added, "And possibly Telma. But my point is that it's literally in my nature to worry. Or have you not noticed the fact that I practically _need_ to protect people?"

This was true, in more ways than one. While Link had always been a rather protective person, that particular personality trait had almost doubled once the whole wolf thing kicked in. Wolves in general had a strong family unit and were very closely bonded with their pack members. Granted, Link didn't have much of a pack; as he'd said, Midna was basically the only other member. Ironically enough, in wolf terms she was probably the 'Alpha', while Link was a 'Beta'. He didn't mind this much. He was fairly certain he'd be absolute rubbish at leadership, so being a 'Beta' suited him just fine. He was just a highly protective one.

"Tone down the drama, little wolf," Midna told him. "You make it sound so end-of-the-world-y."

"While _you_ make it sound so frivolous," Link retorted. "I do _not_ want to deal with your weird hair magic powered up by a thousand if you go on a rampage. I've spent enough time trying not to die already, I have no interest in adding _more_ time to that list."

Midna sighed. "Look, Link, it's nice that you care, it really is. But we both know that the Fused Shadows are the only way to break Ganondorf's barrier around the Castle, and we also know that I'm the only one who can use them. If you have any other ideas, I'd love to hear them, but as it stands right now..."

Link glared at the ground and let out a growl that would have been much more suited to come out of his wolf form. He absolutely _hated_ when she was right about things like this.

"...Fine," he conceded. "But if _anything _goes wrong-"

"You get to tell me, 'I told you so'," Midna interrupted, smirking.

"Which I will relish," Link informed her. "I mean, I'll wait until after I've saved your Twili skin to do it, but I will absolutely do it."

"Yeah, I suppose you need to win at least _one _of our arguments," Midna mused.

"I've won an argument with you before," Link retorted.

"Really?" Midna said, in tones of great surprise. "When was this?"

Link opened his mouth to reply – and abruptly realized that he couldn't think of a single one. Midna read the look on his face and flashed him her fanged grin.

"That's what I thought."

"Shut up, I'll win one eventually," Link sighed, walking off. Midna followed him through the air, yawning idly.

"Where we going?"

"Hyrule Castle," Link replied. "We might as well get it over with. Besides, I've got this weird feeling that we're supposed to be there."

Midna just shrugged. A 'weird feeling' as Link put it didn't exactly rate very high on her scale of things to worry about.

* * *

Meanwhile at Hyrule Castle, things were a bit... chaotic.

For starters, Ganondorf had spawned his barrier in the middle of a guard post, which meant that there were a large amount of soldiers trapped _inside_ the Castle walls as well as outside. For another, Ganondorf himself seemed to have disappeared entirely, and there was an odd black hole-thing in the throne room that nobody could get rid of. On top of that, Zelda had been discovered to be out cold in the same room not twenty feet away from said hole, and regardless of what the soldiers did she obstinately refused to wake up. And as if none of that was stressful enough, the roof of the Castle seemed to have vanished entirely as if it never existed in the first place, and there was an eternally stubborn raincloud that seemed dead-set on sitting right above the place where the roof ought to have been and raining on everyone inside.

This could have been because of the afore-mentioned barrier keeping everything in (and out), because it certainly wasn't raining on the other side of the wall. However, with no real way to escape the weather, the soldiers had resigned themselves to being wet and had basically given up on staying dry. Because, really, there was only so much that holding one's shield above the head could do.

But _then _the barrier had vanished, not that this did anything to the raincloud, and the whole situation was compounded by the flock of very lost Keese that flew in and got themselves stuck in the hallways, much like an insect gets stuck in an open-ended jar. They just couldn't seem to figure out that 'Up' was synonymous with 'Out'. Granted, they were usually in a cave, which had no 'Up', but still.

The soldiers tried to comfort themselves with the notion that they could at least _leave_ now, but the fact of the matter was that Zelda was still unconscious, and the very nature of their job meant that until she woke up, they were honor-bound to protect her. So, with much (albeit muted) grumbling, the men resigned themselves to being constantly wet and frequently chased by the confused Keese flock.

All in all, it was _not_ a good day to be a soldier.

* * *

**9/5/16**

** So sorry this took a while, but I moved back into my dorm this weekend. Packing takes a _long_ time, let me tell you, and then you get to _un_pack it all just a few hours later!**

** This is also the reason that the Evil Overlord list has been somewhat delayed, by the way.**

** On the story side of things, new-and-improved nickname sequence, better introduction to TP Link, and more involvement by the goddesses. **

** Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to Nathaniabp and Demon King73 for favoriting/following!**


	8. The One Who's a Wolf

**Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own **_**Sonic the Hedgehog. **_

**(Wait, what? That isn't my typewriting... where'd that come from?)**

* * *

To the significant dismay of Demise, none of the Incarnations in his head were musically inclined in _any_ way. And while this normally wouldn't be much of an issue, the villains were currently seeing if bad music would work where improbable card games had not. The problem lay in the fact that they were using banjos, and Veran and Picori Vaati were the only ones who had hands small enough to even attempt the necessary fingering.

Majora didn't even _have _hands, Malladus could only pluck so hard before his claws snapped the strings, Bellum could only strum tunelessly because his tentacles had no fingers, the Ganondorfs simply had too-large hands, the Ganons had sausages for fingers, Demon Vaati was in the same boat as Majora, Zant was trying to play his banjo in reverse (he was strumming the frets and trying to finger the hole), and Onox was wearing a full suit of armor and thus had all the mobility complications that went with it.

Put very, very simply, the resulting din was quite possibly one of the worst things Demise had ever heard.

"WILL YOU ALL _SHUT UP!"_ he roared. The cacophony abruptly cut off with a strangled _twannngggggg_ of off-key strings.

_Will you release us in return?_ Veran asked sweetly.

"You never had freedom to begin with," Demise scoffed.

_So be it. On three everyone, and Bellum, do try to keep the beat this time?_

There was a brief spout of irritated bubbling, though the squid sounded more annoyed at the instrument rather than Veran, and the 'music', if one could even call it that, started up again.

Demise just gritted his teeth and, in an attempt to distract himself, imagined a Cucco horde descending on the villains. He smiled at the thought.

Abruptly, one of the banjos let out an abused _screeeeech_ of breaking strings and Malladus asked, _Is anyone else seeing the evil-looking poultry?_

He sounded significantly surprised.

_That is called a Cucco,_ Hyrule Ganondorf informed him. _Truly a vicious creature. Do not antagonize it or we are all doomed._

_Did you know you have livestock in your head? _Onox asked Demise.

Demise narrowed his eyes thoughtfully and imagined the Cucco attacking. A loud squawk resounded through his brain, followed by the sound of breaking banjos.

_WHAT IDIOT DECIDED TO HIT THE CUCCO?!_ Twilight Ganondorf bellowed.

_NO-ONE DID!_

_WELL _**_SOMEONE _**_MADE IT ANGRY!_

_I believe_, Majora said, sounding remarkably calm amidst the chaos, _that this bird may be the result of our captor's wishes. We should regard this as a great success; we have driven him to imaginative defenses._

_Why don't you come over here where the bird actually is and say that?!_ Veran hissed.

_No, thank you. There are certain forces that one should not mess with._

_Zant's messing with it,_ Onox pointed out.

_Zant is insane._

_Who's a pretty birdie?_ Zant cooed. _Who's a monstrous bringer of death and destruction? You are! You are!_

There was another squawk, which was immediately followed by screaming.

_...and he's made it angrier,_ Ocean Ganondorf sighed.

_You know, all this needs is some musical accompaniment and this whole thing could be hilarious,_ Malladus mused.

_I'm on it,_ Picori Vaati said. One single surviving banjo began playing, and since Picori Vaati was one of the two people who could actually play, it didn't sound too bad. The tune he was playing, however, was a bouncy whimsical thing that made Demise cringe.

_You know you're right, that really does make it funnier,_ Veran commented.

Demise gritted his teeth. For on brief, beautiful moment he'd thought he could punish his Incarnations for their insolence... but _of course_ that would backfire on him. Why ever would it not?

Zant let out a shriek, accompanied by furious clucking and a sudden tempo increase in Picori Vaati's soundtrack. Demise twitched.

* * *

"Alright," Farore said, flexing her hands. "The wolf aspect is on his way, the first six are still looking for the directionally challenged aspect's sword, and since we've got some meantime in between time..."

"We can have some fun looking in on alternate universe?" Din suggested. Farore blinked at her.

"Um... no, I was going to say that I could work on getting another one of my Attribute aspects heading towards his relevant hole-in-the-world."

"That's not nearly as amusing," Din grumbled.

* * *

**Meanwhile in an alternate universe where Hylians and Cuccos have switched places:**

"Don't... make... any... sudden... moves..." Link clucked quietly to his partner as they slowly backed away.

Thankfully, the mob of Hylians were too busy squabbling with each other over the movements of small green pieces of rock to notice them.

* * *

"Somewhere something hysterical is happening, I just know it," Din huffed.

"While here, something world-ending is happening, I can see it," Farore retorted. "Can you please concentrate?"

"Yeah, fine, I'll just bookmark it for later," Din sighed, tossing a bright-red sphere over her shoulder where it vanished into thin air (and presumably somewhere significantly funnier). "Which aspect did you have in mind next?"

Farore smiled nervously. "The one whose sanity is... questionable."

"Isn't that the one who ended up in all those different countries?" Nayru checked. "Labrynna and Holodrum and that?"

"After saving Hyrule, yes," Farore confirmed. "But he just got done saving some place called..." she squinted at reality for a moment, "...Koholint?"

Both her sisters frowned in confusion.

"Okay, I'm the one who _made_ all the land and I can tell you right now I didn't make that one," Din said bluntly.

"Apparently it's not actually real," Farore replied, sounding just as confused. "From what I can tell it was all a dream of some sort..."

"He saved a dream?" Nayru repeated. "No wonder he's a bit off..."

"How does that even work?" Din wondered, peering at reality. "...Hang on, is that Levias?"

"It is!" Nayru agreed. "So _that's_ where he went for his vacation! I did wonder."

"I believe he goes by the Windfish now," Farore commented. "Or at least, that's what my Attribute has been told."

"Geez, you take a few millennia off and suddenly you're a hippie," Din remarked, rolling her eyes. "So if this aspect just finished saving 'the Windfish', what's he doing now?"

Farore paused.

"...I believe he's cursing in five different languages."

* * *

Link, the Hero of Legend, finished insulting the Windfish in Hylian and moved straight into Labrynnian, which was his personal favorite simply because of how many descriptive adjectives he could string into one sentence. Once he ran out of insults in Labrynnian, he moved onto Holodese and spent a few descriptive minutes on the Windfish's appearance before branching into a sub-dialect of Holodese called Subrosian and cycling back to the descriptive adjectives because Subrosian had some _really_ good ones that the Windfish absolutely deserved to be on the receiving end of, and finished it all off with a single choice word of Darkling that he'd learned during his time in the Dark World.

He knew a few other languages, such as Ancient Hylian from the time he'd been to the past and back, but he'd already said everything he felt like saying at the moment.

"Flipping useless fish," Link growled in a foreign accent that he hadn't had before he'd started the Hero gig. He wasn't entirely sure when he'd altered his vowels like that, but he liked how it sounded and had never bothered to try and change his speech back. Besides, with the amount of languages he knew and tended to pick up, he'd doubtless gain a different accent right as he got rid of the first one.

Which he didn't want to do, obviously. He liked his current accent, and there was no way to tell if he would like the next one. Therefore, he wasn't going to try.

It made perfect sense... to him, anyways.

Link sighed and muttered "Veteirnygh-Ai thae," which basically translated to 'I hate everything' in Labrynnian, before turning his attention to his situation, which quite frankly was begging to be paid attention to.

He was floating on a splintered piece of the remains of his boat – he could remember being caught in a storm before 'waking up' on the shores of Koholint – but surprisingly nothing else seemed to be damaged. His bag was still closed, his hat was still on his head, and none of his items were floating away in the ocean.

Or at least, he _hoped_ none of his items were floating away in the ocean.

He could see the Windfish up overhead, not that the whale was paying any attention to him. Highly ungrateful, in Link's opinion. Even if it hadn't been real time Link was spending, he'd still spent a _danged_ long time rescuing that whale's subconscious from nightmares. And that wasn't even getting into all the junk he'd had to do to wake up the darn fish in the first place!

Link wasn't even sure he'd been musical before this whole fiasco, but digging around in his memory informed him that yes, he actually did know how to play all those instruments now. A bit more thought on the subject revealed that yes, he really could play all eight of them at once despite how anatomically impossible that ought to have been, and a quick check in his bag showed that somehow, he actually _had_ all eight of the instruments.

Had Link not been an adventurer with years of experience and a distinct lack of caring about such things like logic, he would have spent a few minutes sputtering over how impossible that was. However, he was an adventurer with years of experience and a blatant lack of caring about such things like logic. So he simply noted that the instruments were there and proceeded to ignore them.

What Link was really miffed about, he decided, was two main things. One, he was now the only speaker of Koholish – which he supposed was a made-up language anyways at this point – but he was only intermediate-level! How was he supposed to become fluent if all the native speakers were no longer in existence!?

...but, Link conceded reluctantly, that was beside the point. The _main_ reason he was peeved was that the Windfish had just swam (flown?) off into the sky, leaving Link behind without a single backward glance.

Link, who was stranded _in the middle of THE FLIPPING OCEAN!_

At the very least the stupid fish could have provided a tow! Or if not a tow, then directions would have been just as good! Link wasn't the worst with directions – he had to be at least a bit competent, given all the foreign countries he ended up in – but he was _not_ good enough to navigate a featureless body of water with no landmarks and a lack of a waterproof map.

"Thanks for absolutely nothing," Link grumbled, and pushed his very sticky-with-seawater ginger bangs out of his face. There had to be _something _he could use to find his way.

First things first, he needed to choose a direction. The Windfish was heading into the sun, and Link most definitely was _not_ going to follow that ungrateful excuse of a marine mammal. But that was fine, because the sun was heading down in the sky, which meant that the Windfish was heading in a generally western direction. Link, from what he could remember, had left Hyrule heading in a generally western direction, therefore to get back to Hyrule he needed to head generally east.

...Of course, he had no idea how far it was to Hyrule by this point. Link was fairly sure he'd been asleep inside the Windfish's dream for at _least_ a few days, if not more, and who knew how far he'd drifted in that time. But he'd rather do something than just sit and wait to die of sunburn, dehydration, and the dreaded (and possibly mythological) Sea-Cucco. They were regular Cucco birds that could swim, but with _teeth_.

Link shuddered and pulled himself up onto his driftwood remains in order to get out of the water, and sat on the part with the least amount of splinters, then rummaged in his bag and pulled out all the aquatic equipment he had.

His options were: a pair of Zora Flippers, or a Mermaid Suit.

After careful consideration of such things like coloring, ability to wear while still looking dignified, and whether or not wearing one or the other would attract a lovesick seahorse, Link decided on the Mermaid Suit on the grounds that nobody was actually around to see him look ridiculous and that the coloring clashed less with his snazzy green hat.

There was also the design advantage, the better maneuverability, and the magic that made it impossible for the Suit to fall off (it fused with his skin and quite literally gave him a mer-tail while in use), but really, those weren't _nearly_ as important.

With that done, Link rummaged in his bag again and pulled out a coil of rope, trying one end around his waist and the other end to his wrecked ship. While the Mermaid Suit definitely made swimming easier, he couldn't tread water indefinitely. He would need something to float on every now and then while he caught his breath.

He finished tying the knots and gave the rope an experimental tug. When nothing fell off, Link beamed at it.

"You're a brilliant piece of rope, you know that?" he said.

The rope did not respond. This did not bother Link in the slightest.

"Good rope," he praised. "Now, onward!"

He ducked beneath the waves and started swimming, glancing up every few seconds to make sure he was going in the right direction. Unfortunately, he got bored of this within the first ten repetitions, and in an effort to keep himself occupied began singing the Ninety-Nine Potions of Health on the Wall song.

In Holodese.

And in every other language he knew, as well as some he didn't.

* * *

"Dang," Din commented.

"I'm quite impressed," Nayru said. "Mortals usually only know a few languages at best. _He_ seems to be fluent in at least five, intermediate in four others, and knows at least a few words of basically every other language he's ever come across."

"He's one of my more unusual aspects, that's for sure," Farore said. "Anyways, he's going in the right direction, but it's gonna be a while. He's got a whole ocean to cross."

"Makes sense," Din agreed. "Who's next then?"

"The wolf-one is getting close," Nayru reminded them.

"Oh, that's right," Farore said, snapping her fingers. "He should be arriving at his relevant hole any minute now. Thanks, sis."

"No problem," Nayru replied.

* * *

"Awww..." Midna whined, looking up at the distinctly-not-trapped-in-a-barrier Hyrule Castle. "I wanted to blow stuff up too..."

Link rolled his eyes.

"It would have been epic and you know it, little wolf," Midna retorted.

"Epically terrifying," Link corrected, secretly relieved that she wouldn't have to use the Fused Shadows after all. He'd been prepared for it, of course, but he much preferred this version of events.

Midna just huffed irately. "Oh well, at least getting in will be easier," she decided. "Shall we?"

"Shadow first," Link instructed. "Remember what happened last time?"

'Last time' had been when Midna, so used to being outside of Link's shadow during dungeons and temples and whatnot, had forgotten to conceal herself as she usually did and ended up causing a mass panic that had ended in the largest mobilization of the Hyrule Guard force to date, which was now considered to be one of the most impressive response times in history outside of outright war. Midna had found it hilarious. Link, who'd had to deal with the fallout, had not.

"Fine, spoilsport," Midna sighed, and vanished into Link's shadow with her trademark fanged smirk. _'You'd better relay my comments, though,' _her voice sounded in his head. _'I still want to see the reactions.'_

"I make no promises," Link replied, and walked through the Castle doors. Midna grumbled in response, which was slightly distracting as the sound was passing through Link's mind as well. Sure, he had practice now, but keeping a conversation while a running commentary from Midna ran through his head was never an easy task.

The Throne Room was basically straight shot from the doors, thanks to the Castle Guard having removed the various bits of obstacles and rubble left from Zant's invading force. Link had to admit, as bad as the Guard was at things like fighting, they could clean up like nobody's business. The actual Throne Room itself, however, was a bit of a different story.

"Hero!" a soldier exclaimed as Link walked into the room. "Oh, thank the goddesses. You were the only one we could think of that might qualify."

Link raised an eyebrow at that statement. "Qualify for... what?"

"Well sir," the soldier began. "The Princess Zelda, she won't wake up, you see. We've tried everything we could think of. Smelling salts, foot massage, bucket of water..."

_'Wait, they threw a water bucket on Zelda?' _Midna repeated. _'That's amazing! Oh, I wish I'd have been here to see that...'_

"You threw a water bucket on Zelda?" Link said in lieu of Midna's physical presence, though he left out the second bit. The solder flushed awkwardly.

"Not _me_, sir, but one of the others did. My idea was the hot sauce."

"The... hot sauce," Link said flatly as Midna cackled with laughter.

"On her tongue, sir," the soldier explained. "It didn't work."

"Okay, what exactly do you need me for?" Link asked, now becoming somewhat concerned about where this conversation was headed.

"Well sir, one of the boys had an idea, that... well... maybe it was like those spells in the old tales, you know? Maybe she needed a kiss from a noble prince to wake up."

Link's jaw dropped, though he closed it quickly, and his face turned bright red. "Excuse me?" he sputtered.

"None of us are prince material, you see," the soldier informed him with an embarrassed expression. "And we don't really have one just lying around, so we thought you might be the best match given our lack of actual male royalty."

Link sputtered some more, his face now the color of a ripe tomato, and failed to produce any words whatsoever. He'd never been this tongue-tied in his life.

"...I'm a goatherd," he finally managed.

The soldier shrugged. "My dad was a farmer. Best man I know."

"I just... I... You... You want me," Link said, excruciatingly slowly, "to kiss Princess Zelda?"

"On the mouth," the soldier clarified apologetically.

Link moved from a ripe tomato to an overripe tomato.

"Or not," the soldier said, observing this phenomena. "There's probably another way, after all."

"...yeah," Link said weakly. "Probably. Hopefully. Please."

"Well, sorry to bother you with it, sir," the soldier said. "I'll just leave you to... recover. If you need me, I'll be over with the boys trying to eradicate the lost Keese flock. Sorry to bother you, sir."

Link watched the man leave and took a deep breath, trying to cool himself down. Yes, he admitted that he... _may_ have a small crush on the Princess, but that did _not_ mean he wanted to kiss her! Well... maybe eventually, if it was her idea and he was sure she wanted to, but _not right this second!_ Oh, his face felt so hot...

_'Wow,' _Midna snickered. _'I knew you had it bad, but I didn't think it was _that_ bad. You're about as obvious as a black wolfos on Snowpeak, you know that?'_

"Shut up, it's not like that," Link muttered, face in his hands. Midna was never going to let him live this down.

_'Of course it's not,'_ Midna said in a tone which told Link that she didn't believe him in the slightest. _'But, I think I know why she's not conscious. Remember when she gave me her... essence, so to speak?'_

"Yeah," Link said.

_'Well, I've still got it. I think it's time I returned the favor, don't you?'_

Link opted for saying nothing on the grounds that it was probably the safest option and made his way over to the Princess in response. She was, indeed, out cold.

Midna spun up out of Link's shadow and surveyed Zelda with her one visible eye. "Wow, she's really zonked there. You sure you don't wanna try the kissing idea? Even if it doesn't work I doubt she'd know."

_"__MIDNA!"_ Link sputtered. His partner snickered uncontrollably.

"Kidding, little wolf," she told him. "Lighten up, eh?"

"Just return the stuff," Link groaned. His face was still a bit pink.

Midna landed lightly next to Zelda's shoulder, reached out, and touched Zelda's hand with hers. What looked like large fireflies gathered on Midna's skin and crossed over onto Zelda's, where they vanished into her body as though they'd never been there in the first place.

"That should do it," Midna said decisively, jumping back into the air. "Now come here, I want to have my armrest ready so I can look all casual and nonchalant."

"You know, gratitude isn't entirely out of the question," Link informed his partner as she perched her elbow on his shoulder.

"Are you kidding me? If you let these people know you owe them, they'll take the clothes off your back before you can even blink."

"I doubt Zelda is that kind of person," Link pointed out dryly.

"Maybe she's not, but I'll bet my helmet that the lower nobles are."

That, Link admitted, was probably an entirely valid point, but before he could say anything about it Midna said, "Hey, I think she's waking up."

Zelda's eyes twitched, then opened in the manner of someone who has gotten far too little sleep and is having trouble dealing with it. She blinked a few times at the ceiling, then took a breath and sat up with excellent posture, looking wide awake in seconds as though she'd done it through sheer willpower.

"Midna, that was supposed to be a gift," she scolded lightly. "I appreciate your thoughtfulness in restoring me, however, but still."

Midna scoffed. "Yeah, like I'm gonna owe somebody for any longer than absolutely necessary. Not happening, Princess!"

"Midna, _please_ be nice for once," Link pleaded. She merely flashed him her trademark fanged smirk and proceeded to ignore his request entirely.

"Oh," Zelda said, looking surprised. "So then that means..." her gaze locked onto Link's face and he felt himself turning red. "You are the wolf, correct?"

"Yeah," Link managed. "Nice to be able to speak to you."

Zelda continued to to scrutinize him with very, _very_ blue eyes. "Indeed," she said. Then she smiled. "This is a good look for you."

Link frowned. "Er... my clothes?"

"Yes. Green is your color, I think."

This conversation was going in a direction that Link _knew_ would end badly for him. Namely in that he was encroaching on tomato status again.

"So... this is amusing and all," Midna said, rescuing Link from his embarrassment, "and I _do_ like the word green, but aren't there more important things to talk about? Like, I dunno, the fact that Ganondorf's gone missing, or that large gaping hole in the world over there?"

"Hole in the _what?"_ Link repeated in surprise, and followed his partner's pointing finger. Sure enough, up where the throne ought to be was an utterly black void that, to Link's eyes, was defying all laws of causality and logic simply by being a thing. It was the type of object that was completely unmissable.

"How in Din's Name did I miss that?" he boggled.

"You were a bit distracted," Midna said slyly. "I think there was this pretty girl with bright blue eyes?" Link shot her a look that very clearly said, _Not now, dangit!_

"You know," Zelda said, seeing the brewing argument, "it comes to my attention that I have been unconscious for a good few weeks. If you will excuse me, I believe I shall question my Guard about what has happened in my absence."

She nodded to both the Hero and his partner, then stepped past Link, paused, leaned over and quietly said, "For the record, you have bright blue eyes as well. They suit you," into his ear.

Link revisited his previous status as an overripe tomato. Zelda smiled at him, tucked her hair behind her ear, and continued on her way towards the cluster of soldiers – who for some reason, appeared to be badly losing a fight to a flock of Keese of all things.

"Wouldja lookit that," Midna mused. "She likes you back."

"We are _not_ talking about this right now," Link growled, moving past tomato territory entirely and encroaching on eggplant status.

"Whatever you say," Midna smirked. "So then, what _are_ we talking about if not this?"

"That," Link said, pointing to the void.

"...Yeah, that's a pretty good alternative topic," Midna admitted. She floated a few feet closer to the hole and examined it as much as her instinct to stay away would let her. "What even _is_ this thing?"

Link picked his way over a pile of rubble to join her, and she yawned pointedly at him. Link raised an eyebrow and mildly said, "Not all of can float, you know."

"You should fix that," Midna told him. "But seriously, what do you think about this?"

Link gave the void an appraising look. It was bigger than he'd first thought, well on it's way to the ceiling – and the walls in the Castle weren't exactly short either. From the looks of things, it appeared to be getting slowly but steadily larger, and as Link watched the edge of the void crept out and touched a nearby rubble chunk.

Said rubble immediately proceeded to vanish from all visible existence.

"...Did you see that? Tell me you saw that," Midna said, staring

"I saw it," Link replied.

"That's not good."

"Nope."

"Any ideas?"

"Doubtful. Weapons will probably be just as useless as the rubble," Link guessed. As a side effect of dealing with a ridiculous amount of protective Temple measures that almost always manifested as some sort of massive puzzle-system, Link was now a rather strategic thinker as far as riddles and things went.

"Magic?" Midna asked.

"Equally doubtful. This doesn't seem like the type of thing to be affected by spells."

"...I could manifest a Cucco on it."

"...Okay, keep that one in mind as a last resort. We only use Ultimate Evil if absolutely necessary."

Midna huffed. "In that case, I'm fresh out of ideas."

"Same," Link admitted, running a frustrated hand through his bangs. "I can't believe-"

"Link," Midna interrupted, eyes narrowed. "Do that again."

Link tilted his head in a gesture remarkably similar to a confused canine. "Uh... do what?"

"Put your hand through your hair."

"What does that have anything to do with-"

"Just do it," Midna snapped.

Link gave her a highly confused look, but complied and raised his hand to his hair again. Midna watched the movement like a hawk.

"...I think your hand is glowing," she said.

"It's what?" Link asked intelligently.

"Glowing."

"Why should touching my hair make my hand glow?"

"It's not that!" Midna retorted. "The light's behind us and your face is in shadow, and when you put your hand in the shadow it looked like your Triforce was glowing!"

"It is?" Link said, bringing his left hand up to his eyes to check. ...He supposed that might be called glowing... maybe...

"But why is it doing that..." Midna mused, putting a hand to her chin. "Link, we're going to play a little game."

Link twitched.

"Hey, it'll be fun, trust me."

"The last time you said that, I spent the next hour being chased by Wallmasters," Link reminded her bluntly. "I don't care _how_ you look at it, that was _not_ fun!"

"You're just a wimp. Everyone knows Wallmasters are the best players for Capture-the-Sol."

"It was legitimately terrifying," Link argued.

"Well lucky for you, we're playing Hot-or-Cold instead. Just walk where I tell you to."

"That's it?" Link asked suspiciously.

"That's it," Midna confirmed. "Now do me a favor and move to the left."

Link dutifully – though cautiously – moved to the left. Nothing happened. Midna scowled and had Link move to the right instead. Nothing insisted on continuing to happen.

The next ten-to-fifteen minutes consisted of Midna placing Link in every spot she could think of that wouldn't get him killed in various violent or painful ways. The longer they went, the more frustrated she got, because no matter where Link stood _nothing happened_. At this point, Midna was almost convinced that she'd been imagining the glowing of his Triforce-

Midna's eye widened as an idea occurred to her, and Link, currently balancing on top of a partially-collapsed pillar halfway up the wall, glanced at her apprehensively.

"That's not an expression that ends well for me," Link muttered.

"Shut up, I'm thinking," Midna ordered. "Link, climb down from there and go stand next to the void."

"I thought you said this wasn't going to turn out like the Wallmasters," Link sighed, though he did as instructed and slid down the column.

"It won't!"

"It's a hole in reality, I really don't think you have the authority to decide that," Link replied. He jogged back to the rift and brought himself to a halt about ten feet or so from his target. "There _are_ some things you can't control, you know."

"Now that's only because I haven't figured out how yet," Midna said lightly. "Now quit distracting me and show me your hand."

Link rolled his eyes and raised his left hand up for Midna to see, fully expecting another annoyed outburst at the fact that nothing was there. Instead, he got-

"Ha! I knew it!" Midna crowed. "It's totally glowing!"

Link blinked in surprise and glanced at his Triforce. Sure enough, though it was rather dim compared to the other times he'd seen it active, the bottom right triangle was lit up like a lantern. Link's mouth formed an 'o' of surprise.

"It's only ever done that the first time I entered the Twilight and when I pulled the Master Sword..." he murmured in astonishment.

"Well I can tell you there's no Twilight here," Midna informed him, drifting around his head and perching her elbow on his shoulder. "Personally, I think it's because of this hole here. The only time your Triforce has glowed so far has been when you're close to it. Why don't you step closer and see what happens?"

Link considered that, then took a single solitary step forwards and stopped. His hand glowed slightly brighter in response, but nothing else happened.

"...That was pathetic," Midna said bluntly. "One step? Really? That's all you're doing?"

"I am not interested in being erased from reality, thanks," Link said.

"You'd have to touch it to do that, and I don't see you touching it," Midna pointed out in a false-sweet manner. "Get closer, little wolf."

Grudgingly, at Midna's urgings, Link took progressively closer steps until he was standing literally right next to the void. His left hand was shining like a star at this point. Midna stared at it, then moved her gaze to the hole. She tapped her chin contemplatively.

"No doubt about it, this is what your mojo's reacting to," she decided.

"That's nice," Link said, leaning backwards a bit as the hole grew ever-larger. "Can I back up now?"

"Of course not," Midna scoffed. "You're going inside to investigate."

Link spun around and gave his partner a glare. "Excuse me?"

"Your glowy hand is a gift from the gods or whatever, right?" Midna asked. "Let's go over what happened the other time it lit up. Instead of being cursed into a formless phantom by the Twilight, you were turned into a wolf instead who could actually _do_ something about the problem. You were _protected._ It's pretty obvious to me what that little triangle does for you, and if it's glowing now, I think that's a pretty obvious indicator."

"We don't know that for sure," Link replied, although he had to admit she had a point.

"Only one way to find out," Midna smirked, and before Link could even think of a reply her hair had shot out and wrapped around his torso, picked him up, and tossed him through the hole. His startled cry of "MIDNA!" got cut off halfway through the word, which sounded absolutely hilarious to the imp herself and she made sure to make a note of it in her mind as she drifted forward to follow her partner-

"Ah!" she gasped, snatching her hand back from the void with three less fingers than she'd had before. She stared at her hand, then the rift. Her eye narrowed.

"I do hope you haven't just killed our Hero," Zelda's voice said, announcing the ruler's arrival. "My Guard tells me that what goes into the void doesn't come out, and you seem to have thrown Link directly into it."

Midna scowled and channeled some of her magic down her arm, forming new digits where her old ones used to be. "Don't give me that, Princess. I know you'd know if he's actually dead, you Triforce people always do. Plus, you'd be _much_ angrier."

"True," Zelda acknowledged. "No, he's not dead. You, on the other hand, will be if you try and follow him."

"I figured," Midna admitted ruefully, wiggling her new fingers to make sure they worked. "Dang, I just sent him to who-knows-where without any backup... _or_ his wolf form," she realized.

"Not necessarily," Zelda told her. "As a Triforce wielder, I can use some of it's magic to help you send an item after him."

Midna glanced at her. "That's real convenient, isn't it?"

Zelda shrugged. "I have my moments."

Midna, after a few seconds spent considering, decided to go with it and pulled the Curse Stone out of wherever she kept it. After another few moment's though, she materialized a small black bag on a drawstring and dropped the Stone inside.

"He changes as soon as he touches it," she explained to the watching Zelda. "He'll need a way to carry it around while it's not in use."

"Smart," Zelda said, taking the drawstring pouch in her hands and conjuring a golden glow around it as the Triforce on her right hand lit up with similar intensity. "There we go. Would you like to do the honors?"

"Absolutely," Midna replied, showing her fanged grin. She took the small bag in her hair-hand, yelled, "HEADS UP!" into the hole, and chucked the package with all the strength she could muster. "With any luck, that'll clock him right in the face," she said, snickering. Zelda gave her an odd glance.

"You haven't scarred him for life or anything of the sort, correct?"

"Eh, maybe, maybe not. He hasn't run screaming from me yet, and I'll take that as a win."

* * *

"...We need to recruit that imp," Farore decided, staring.

"Er... how? Isn't she just mortal?" Din asked.

"I don't care. She just single-handedly cut his expected stall time by _eighty flipping percent."_

"She bodily chucked him through!"

"Exactly," Farore said. "Exactly."

* * *

"Huh," Realm said knowledgeably, scratching his head. "How'd it get up there?"

"I can safely say that I don't want to know," Steam groaned.

"How are we supposed to get that down?" Red asked, bewildered.

Realm's sword, which he'd only just managed to get a little over forty-eight hours ago, was lodged point-first about six feet up a cliffside. The crevice that the blade was buried in covered it nearly all the way up to the hilt.

"That's really wedged in there if it hasn't fallen out already," Vio noted. "Especially given the time it took us to get here."

Saying it like that was a bit of an understatement; it'd taken them no less than six hours, eight backtracks, three different monster hordes, and twelve separate times retrieving Realm from whatever wrong turn he'd made that time before they finally found his weapon.

The problem now, of course, was getting said weapon down. None of the Links were particularly gifted in the area of height; they were all built short and stocky for some reason. So after a bit of discussion, Blue stood on Realm's shoulders and pried the sword out of the rock wall while the other four remaining Links kept Realm steady and less likely to fall down.

"There we go!" Blue announced satisfactorily as he finally yanked the (very stuck) sword out of the cliffside and handed it down to Realm. "Put a bell on the thing or something, why don't you?"

"Because then I'd lose the bell too," Realm sighed, taking the weapon and sheathing it with moderate difficulty due to Blue still balancing on his shoulders.

"You got some problems, dude," Blue informed him, before gathering himself and jumping down. Realm stumbled a bit as all the excess weight suddenly left.

"Everyone has problems," he replied once he regained his footing. "Mine are just... slightly more complicated."

"Speaking of which, is there anything else you've lost that we should go find?" Green asked. Realm frowned.

"Well... I _may_ have lost the hole. Does anybody remember which way we came from?"

"No, but I can figure it out," Vio sighed. "Can I have your map?

"Funny thing there," Realm said, rubbing his head in an awkward fashion. "I don't actually have a map."

Everyone stared at him.

"You mean... what, you never bought one?" Steam asked.

"No, I mean there's literally no map. Nobody has one. In fact," Realm frowned, "I'm not even sure a map of Hyrule exists right now."

"That explains so much," Blue commented.

"I mean, there's maps of dungeons and things, even if I don't know who made them or why they keep leaving them behind," Realm continued. "But there's nothing for Hyrule itself."

"Wait, so you _do_ have experience with maps, at least?" Green checked.

"If staring at them in confusion counts as experience, then yes," Realm said. "I could never figure out where I was in relation to everything else, no matter which way I held the darn thing."

"Then... how are we supposed to get back to the hole?" Vio asked. "It's kind of our ride."

"Well, I usually start walking," Realm said, doing just that. "And sooner or later I eventually end up at wherever I was trying to get to."

"...We're doomed," Blue decided.

* * *

Five more hours later, after one of the most ridiculously complicated directional mishaps that the five non-native Links had ever had the misfortune of being in, Realm marched around a corner of rock wall and came face-to-nothing with the rift they'd been looking for. Everyone behind him immediately keeled over in exhaustion.

"What, are you guys tired or something?" Realm asked, confused. "It only took us five hours to get here! We probably just broke my all-time record by at _least_ a day or two."

"We spent four of those five hours running from Like-like hordes!" Steam gasped. "Consecutively!_"_

"Yeah... so?"

"_That's not normal!_"

"It's not?" Realm repeated, confused. "How long does it take you to get away from Like-like hordes?"

"I don't run into Like-like hordes!"

"You don't?" Realm by this point was legitimately surprised.

"It's just you," Vio wheezed. "Nobody else has this problem."

"Well... it was still only four straight hours of running, that really isn't all that long."

"_YES IT IS!" _the five other boys chorused in disbelief.

Realm raised an eyebrow. "You're all weird."

"_We're_ weird?" Blue scoffed – then coughed because he was scoffing and didn't have enough breath for it. "Look at you! You don't even _look_ tired!"

Realm opened his mouth to respond, but the entire issue suddenly became a moot point as a green teenaged figure shot out of the hole and flattened Realm face-first to the floor. The new boy stared at the sky for a brief moment while everyone else stared at him and Realm feebly lifted his head out of the dirt floor to see what had just landed on him.

"...I'm going to strangle her," the teen decided quietly. "I'm going to strangle her within an inch of her life. And then I'm going to tie her to a boulder and torture her with all the people she could be making fun of but can't because of the spell I'm going to have Zelda cast on her mouth to prevent her from talking until I extract an ironclad promise from her to _never do this to me ever again_."

"I like this guy," Blue decided.

"What just happened?" Red asked.

Before anyone could answer, a small black pouch came sailing out of the void and clocked the new boy right between the eyes. It sat there for a moment, then slowly fell off the side of his face and landed with a soft _plop_ next to his right shoulder.

"On second thought," the teen corrected himself, "I'm going to kill her. I'm going to kill her, then bring her back to life and kill her again just to make sure she's got the point, and then I'm going to bring her back to life a second time so I can chain her to a Cucco for the rest of her existence."

Oddly enough, he never raised his voice during his description of revenge on whichever female he was referring to. It was steady, controlled, the kind of tone you'd use for a casual conversation with your good friend.

It also sent a large amount of shivers up everyone's spines and made everyone take a note about not getting on his bad side.

The new boy took a deep breath and seemed to calm down a bit, then noticed what he was on top of as Realm waved awkwardly at him, taking the chance to get a good look at the new arrival. He had sandy-blond hair, a somewhat angular face, and bright blue eyes that quite honestly looked slightly feral. There was a long green hat perched on his hair with a tunic to match, two small blue hoops in his ears, and he appeared to be wearing chainmail underneath the tunic. A blue metal shield was strapped to his back over an equally blue scabbard. He looked like a warrior, all things considered.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," the teen said, launching himself to his feet and scooping up the black pouch in the same motion. He examined the small bag briefly, glanced inside, then looped it around his neck and tucked the pouch under his tunic. "My partner decided it would be fun to throw me, I didn't know there were people over on the... other... side?"

He turned, looked over his shoulder and noticed the hole, gave his surroundings a brief but fierce scrutiny, then turned his attention to the six Links in front of him.

"Care to explain why what I'm pretty sure is a hole in reality is acting like a two-ended tunnel instead?" he asked with a dangerously raised eyebrow.

* * *

**9/26/16**

**Yes, I know this took a while. You know why? Because homework is a jerk. Whoever said that art students don't do much deserves to be pushed down a ****_very_**** long flight of stairs.**

**...On a lighter note, words to read! Please note the introduction of the Hero of Legend, who is one of my very favorite Links to write and (I think) the second biggest fan-favorite Link in the story. I'm gonna be making some changes with him... all things considered, I really should have made up something 'Labrynnian' for his speech patterns rather than badly borrowing British ones the first time around. Good thing I can fix that now.**

**Labrynnian Translations: Veteirnygh-Ai thae (I hate everything)**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to SanicBam for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**BrandonBGamer: I never thought of Giratina as evil, so no. He was just doing his job as the Reverse World guardian. Not his fault some idiot tried to capture him and take over his home. Again, this isn't meant to be a crossover series. I will not be using Pokemon. However, that doesn't mean I won't use them for another story.**

**KnownForHardlyNothing: Not sure, but that's kinda why I'm doing this. It was one of those ideas where I thought, 'how has nobody done this yet' and I thought I'd give it a go. I'm really glad you're liking it!**


	9. The One Who's a Painting

**Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own Nintendo. And by extension, the Legend of Zelda. ****_I do, however, own Sega._**** (Wait, what? What the heck, I didn't write that!)**

* * *

"That looks like it's going well," Nayru observed as several smaller blond Heroes attempted to explain things to the taller one. It involved a lot of emphatic gesturing and what was presumably a good deal of confusion.

"He'll be fine," Farore said confidently. "If any of my Attributes can handle this situation without issue, it's this one."

"I don't think I've ever realized how many Attributes you have," Din commented. "I mean, we've already assembled six, the new guy makes seven, and there's still at _least_ eight or so left to gather_. _The fact that you can keep track of them all is impressive."

"Practice," Farore replied, shrugging. "Now, while those seven are bonding, I'm going to look in on some of my other Attributes and see where they are. Let me know if anything interesting happens here, okay?"

"Will do."

* * *

"So... you're all me," the new Link said.

"Yep," Steam replied.

"But you're from alternate... what, dimensions? And there's holes there too?"

"That's the general gist," Vio agreed. "From what I can tell, the universe as we know it is being destroyed and the voids are a result of that. What we perceive as a hole is actually the physical manifestation of _literal_ nothing where something used to be."

"Which, for some reason, you six can travel through," Link said.

"So can you," Red pointed out. "You just did, when you landed on Realm."

Link closed his eyes. "Yeah... sorry about that. If I'd known you were there I would have tried to miss you."

"Okay, that's like the fifth time you've apologized," Realm chuckled. "I _think_ I've forgiven you by now."

"Right," Link smiled. "Well, I won't deny that this is weird, but it's nice to meet you all. Now, exactly how do I get back to where I live? I need to chew my partner out for throwing through a cross-dimensional void."

Green frowned. "But the universe is dying. Did you not hear that bit?"

"No, I heard that bit," Link said. "I'm just not sure I believe it. Don't get me wrong, you all seem like nice people – and you _do_ look like me, which is odd. But other timelines, other _mes? _That just seems a little too far-fetched..."

"You don't believe us," Blue accused.

"Would _you_ believe it if someone walked up and told you what you just told me?" Link replied.

The six Links exchanged concerned glances. "Okay, what _would_ make you believe us?" Vio asked.

Link pursed his mouth, glanced around, then lifted his left hand up to eye level. "If you're really me," he said, "then you should have this."

On his skin was a three-triangle mark – clearly part of his hand, but so geometrically perfect that it looked impossible. Everyone stared at it.

"The Triforce has three pieces!?" Realm sputtered.

Link blinked. "Say what now?" That had not been the reaction he'd been expecting.

Realm openly gaped at Link's hand for a few seconds. "I... in my Hyrule, there's only two. Ganon has one, he holds Power, that's why he was able to take over, but Wisdom was scattered through the kingdom. It's kinda been my job to collect it – but now you're telling me there's a third one?"

Link nodded slowly. "Well, yeah... I mean, it's the _Tri_force."

"...Can I see?" Realm asked, almost reverently. Behind him, Steam, Green, Vio, Blue, and Red were all exchanging worried looks. As far as they knew, none of them had a Triforce piece.

"...Sure," Link said, after a moment of careful consideration. Realm slowly reached out a hand and traced the pattern on Link's skin, staring wide-eyed.

"There's three pieces," he said, wonderingly. "Wow. Kinda makes me wonder where the third piece is back home..."

His fingers passed over the third of the Triforce where Link's skin was lighter than the other two triangles, and Link let out an exclamation as the back of his hand flared hot – but that was nothing compared to the startled screech that Realm emitted. He flinched backwards and violently shook his left hand as a golden glow shone off the back of it and hissed through gritted teeth.

"_Nayru's Love_ that hurt!" he cursed, and glared at his hand. "What the _heck _was that-!"

He froze.

"...Alright," Link said, dumbfounded. "That'll work."

Pulsing dimly on the back of Realm's left hand was a Triforce mark.

"What." Realm said emotionlessly. "What. The. Actual. Heck."

"If I had to guess," Vio said, sounding just as surprised, "it looks like you've had the potential to be a Triforce Bearer lying dormant in your body. Possibly the close proximity to another Triforce brought your ability to the surface?"

"_I_ have the Triforce!?" Realm repeated frantically.

"On the bright side," Link out in, "I believe you now."

"I have the Triforce," Realm said again, and ran his glowing hand through his bangs in disbelief. "Oh my goddesses, I have the Triforce. This is insane."

"I think he's in shock," Steam noted.

Realm didn't seem to hear. "What was it even doing in _me? _Why me of all people?" He paused as something occurred to him. "And is this why Impa never seemed to have a problem asking a small boy to kill a demon? That whole conversation makes so much more sense now..."

"You gonna be okay, dude?" Blue asked. Realm inhaled excessively.

"I think so. Wow. Okay. This is gonna... wow. I'm... I'm gonna need a minute. To, uh, get used to this. Wow."

"Sure thing," Green said. "We'll be over there when you're ready."

"Do the rest of you have hidden Triforces?" Link asked hesitantly as they all moved to the spot Green had indicated. "Because activating his kinda hurt and I'm not keen on doing that again."

"No, no Triforce here," Steam sighed.

"Same," Vio agreed. Link paused and gave the five of them a searching look.

"...You don't actually_ have_ a Triforce, do you," he said. It wasn't a question.

Steam shrugged. "Maybe I do and it's just hiding, I dunno. Where I come from, the original Hyrule is submerged. I don't know where our Triforce might be, but I can tell you that I don't have it. The closest thing I've got to a 'gift from the gods' is my sword." He unsheathed the weapon to demonstrate, and continued, "Well, that and my Spirit Train, but that's in another dimension and you understand that it might be hard to get that here. So unless you wanna, like, see if my weapon resonates with yours or something like that, I've got nothing."

"And essentially, that's our situation too," Green sighed. "And it was Realm's, up until about two minutes ago."

Link considered that.

"Okay," he said simply, and unsheathed his own sword. "If that's the closest thing you've got, then they should resonate, right?"

"That seems a bit ridiculous if you ask me-" Steam started, and was abruptly cut off as all six weapons began to glow. "...Never mind."

"Alright then," Link said, and sheathed his sword in one swift movement. "That settles that."

"How, exactly?" Blue said, confused. "I mean, I'm not complaining, but...?"

"This is the Master Sword," Link said, motioning over his shoulder. "And yes," he continued as Steam let out a snort, "I know it's a pretentious title. Long story short, it's a sacred blade. No evil can touch it without pain and it pretty much exorcises anything bad that it comes across. Logically then, if your weapons are resonating, that would mean that you've got sacred blades too. Which would also mean that you're not evil, which probably means you're telling the truth. Plus," he smiled, "you _really_ do look an astonishing amount like me."

"But you're not blond," Red pointed out.

"Realm's brunet," Link replied, shrugging. "Think of me as a combination."

"I've never really considered it," Vio mused, "but it really does make sense for the Four Sword to be sacred."

"Wait, is _that_ what your sword is called?" Steam said, grinning. "That's ridiculously literal. Whoever named that thing must have been _severely_ lacking in creativity."

"Well, what's _yours _called?"

"The Lokomo Sword," Steam replied.

There was a moment of silence.

"Er... what's a Lokomo?" Link asked.

"I... don't actually know," Steam admitted, a frown creeping onto his face. "It's a people group, but as to what a _Lokomo_ is, I'm not actually sure."

"Might be an alteration of the word 'locomotive'," Vio theorized.

"Okay, but what the heck's a locomotive?" Blue asked.

"It's another word for train," Vio sighed. "Honestly, weren't you listening when Steam explained this to us?"

"I _was_, I just didn't listen to the detail stuff."

"Well if you had, then you would have known what a locomotive was."

"Why do_ I_ need to know what a locomotive is, you memorize all that stuff anyways!"

"Because knowledge is important and you never know when you might need-"

"Will you both quit it!?" Green snapped. "Now is not the time!"

"Is this a common occurrence?" Link asked Red and Steam.

"Dunno," Steam shrugged. " I only met these guys yesterday."

"It's fairly common, yes," Red answered.

"Right..." Link contemplated that. "Sibling arguments. I can handle that."

"Handle what?" Realm asked, walking up next to them. He still looked somewhat shaken, his left hand angled firmly away from his line of sight, but he was significantly less pale than he'd been.

"You guys," Link replied. "After all, if you're telling the truth about yourselves, that means that you're telling the truth about the holes, and what kind of Hero would I be if I let Hyrule get wiped from existence?"

Steam snorted. "A really bad one."

Red let out an excited squeal. "Welcome to the group! Any opinions on your nickname?"

"My what now?"

"If we're all called Link, it gets really confusing," Realm said informatively. "Red gave us nicknames to differentiate."

"I did wonder about that," Link commented. "The word 'Green' hardly seemed like a name one would be born with."

"So," Red said, bouncing in place a little. "What's your Hero title?"

"Hero of Twilight," Link replied.

"Wanna use it?"

Link blinked. "Uh... not really. It's already the name of a people, a place, and a substance, not to mention that I don't have the _best_ memories of the word."

Red was only mildly dissuaded. "I get to be creative instead! Vio, can I get some words that mean 'Twilight'?"

Vio thought for a moment, then rattled off, "Sunset, evening, dusk, dark, gloom, nightfall, shadow, sable, sundown... any of those sound good?"

"Dusk wasn't too bad," Link said helpfully.

Red beamed. "Dusk it is, then!"

"How come his gets to sound cool?" Steam complained.

"You don't think 'Steam' sounds cool?"

"I mean, it's nice enough, but his sounds like the name of a guy who means business."

"Actually, I just liked the phonetics," Dusk admitted.

"The heck is a 'phonetics'?"

"Phonetics are the sounds that form words," Vio explained quickly.

"Well, his phonetics sound cooler."

"_I_ think they both sound cool," Red pouted. Steam made the mistake of turning to face the smaller Link and was promptly hit with the surprisingly accurate image of an adorable puppy. Curiously enough, he also discovered his weakness to adorable puppies in the same moment.

"...Yeah," he replied weakly. "They both sound cool."

"Question for you guys," Dusk said, attempting to get the conversation back to something resembling 'on-topic'. "What now?"

The other six Links exchanged glances with each other. "Well," Green said. "We've basically just been portal-hopping. It started as us four," he gestured to his three siblings, "trying to get back home, but now it's more of a 'let's see who else we meet while trying to find the source' type of thing."

"Which I'm now part of," Dusk finished. "Right. So, do I just run and jump, or...?"

"Yeah, pretty much," Blue said. "And something will probably start glowing to let you know it's safe."

"Oh," Dusk said in tones of realization, looking at the void then down to his hand. "That makes more sense now."

"You know what glows?"

"My hand," Dusk replied, lifting it for them to see. "It was glowing right before my partner threw me in."

He paused. Then he smiled in a way that was somehow altogether more toothy than it ought to have been and reminded everyone rather forcibly of a feral beast. "Would anyone like to help me take revenge on her for that?"

"...I think I'm going to like you," Blue informed him.

* * *

"Well, they look like they've bonded successfully," Din observed, stretching. "Think we should tell Farore that one of the Aspects manifested his Triforce early?"

"I'm sure she already knows," Nayru responded. "Besides, she's busy influencing that Aspect with the paint gimmick, remember?"

They both paused for a moment as Farore let out another string of frustrated complaints – from the sound of things, the boy was heading in the exact opposite direction of where she needed him to be.

"...Yeah, we can fill her in later," Din agreed.

* * *

Contrary to his patron goddess' current belief, the New Hero of Hyrule was not directionally challenged. He was just in a very tight spot that required him to go in a very certain direction due to the fact that any other direction was going to get him killed.

He was also currently a painting on a wall, but that was surprisingly _not_ the reason he may or may not be dead within the next few minutes. No, that reason belonged solely to the vast number of guards patrolling the outer borders of the Castle.

Link frowned irately at the guard walking past his currently-pigmented body, keeping a mental tally of how much magic he still had. This was vitally important, as running out of magic would result in Link turning back into a normal, three-dimensional boy and would almost certainly get him killed.

Quite a lot of things would get him killed right now, Link belatedly realized.

To his substantial relief, the guard moved on after a few more seconds of scrutiny, and Link let out a sigh before popping himself off the wall. This was _ridiculous_. All he wanted to do was get past the Castle to use a Lorule Gate to inform Princess Hilda that he'd finally figured out how to beat up Yuga/Ganon/whoever he was now so that he could rescue Hyrule and get everything back to normal. Was that really too much to ask?

Apparently.

The thumping of metal footsteps alerted Link to the fact that the guard was making his circuit again, and Link cursed to himself before activating the bracelet on his wrist and fusing back into the wall. It was a strange feeling, when he thought about it. He was _literally_ turning into paint, going from three-dimensional to two-dimensional in seconds and trading his hylian body for one that was made of... watercolors, he thought, judging from The Rain Incident.

He shuddered briefly. He didn't like thinking about The Rain Incident.

Unfortunately, Link had forgotten that he was hiding from a guard (nobody looked at artwork for some reason), and the shudder earned him the full attention of a heavily armed and armored knight who, now that Link looked closer, seemed to be made entirely of Yuga's/Ganon's/whoever he was now's living paint.

Well, that explained a _lot_.

Link froze, holding his breath for good measure, and nervously checked on his magic levels. He was about halfway depleted – he should _really_ look into some stamina training – which technically_ should_ last him until the guard lost interest, unless he was unlucky.

The guard spent a few more seconds scrutinizing Link's painted form on the wall before shrugging and lumbering off to continue his route. Link waited until the henchman was out of sight entirely before popping off the wall again and letting out his breath in one explosive burst.

"And that," he muttered, "was _way_ too close."

He wasn't keen on repeating that experience, so he beelined past the Castle gates and rushed down the path that led to his house/Ravio's shop/he didn't actually know what to call it anymore because Ravio spent more time in it than he did. The rock wall in front of the building had the next-closest Lorule Gate from the one in Hyrule Castle itself, which Link unfortunately couldn't get to because the Castle had been closed off ever since Zelda had been kidnapped. It turned out that having your Queen-to-be transformed into a painting and taken into a different dimension caused _lots_ of panic. Who knew?

Link veered around the turn and stopped in front of the wall he needed. He glanced up at his house/Ravio's Shop for a moment and wondered if he should drop in, then decided against it. He'd already been working towards this final confrontation for weeks. He didn't want to delay it anymore. So he took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, and approached the Lorule Gate.

Lorule Gates basically just looked like cracks in the walls, regardless of what the walls were made of. Link had learned, however, that only a crack that emitted smoky-mist-type stuff would lead him to the alternate world. He'd found that out the hard way after one adventure through a wall crack had landed him in Hyrule's sewer system.

In hindsight, though, it did explain the smell that everyone complained about.

Link abruptly stopped again and took a quick inventory. Sword and Shield, check. Red Potion and emergency Fairy, check. Dungeon Items, check. As far as he could tell, he was good to go.

So, Link steeled his nerves, fused with the wall, stepped forwards into the Gate...

...and came out on a tropical island.

Well, _technically_ he was fused with a large rock sitting on a sandbar about fifteen feet off a tropical island, but still. There was a flipping _tropical island_.

Link stared.

Clearly, something was not quite right.

He detached from the boulder that the Gate had led to and blinked confusedly at what was very clearly the ocean around him. He looked to his right where the island was and was greeted with a cluster of cheerfully swaying palm trees. On his left was a black-and-white bird that he'd never seen before bobbing up and down in the waves. He glanced down and watched a... actually, he had no idea what it was, but it had a bright red body and six frantically moving legs that propelled it sideways, for some bizarre reason, and an alarmingly large set of claws for a creature smaller than his foot. Link prudently stepped out of the way, and the thing shot off diagonally across the sand to bury itself in a hole.

He factored all of this into his mind and came to a conclusion.

"This," Link decided in a highly confused voice, "is not Lorule."

At any rate, it was more pleasant than the sewer, which Link was grateful for. But he really did need to meet up with Princess Hilda. He turned around to go back through the Gate-

-and stopped, because the boulder where the Gate had been now appeared to have been swallowed by a large black hole.

Link stared at it, too. For a good twenty seconds. Idly, his brain noted the odd clawed creature from a few seconds earlier side-swimming against the current and brushing up against the void. It promptly ceased to exist.

Link took a very large step backwards.

It was at that point that his mind registered the fact that he was on a sandbar and pointed out all the relevant information that went with it, such as the bit where sandbars are in the ocean and the ocean was made of water. Link's mind immediately flashed to The Rain Incident and he had to fight to keep himself from panicking.

The Rain Incident had the distinction of being the single most traumatizing experience of Link's life and was something that he actively tried not to think about most of the time. When Yuga had cast his spell, Link's body had been transformed into paint. _Watercolor_ paint, to be exact. Why did Link know he was made of watercolors? Because when watercolor paint got wet, it bled. And when Link had gone out in the rain one day and fused with a wall in order to solve a puzzle, his pigment had _literally_ begun running off the stone. And it had _hurt. _It was just a dull ache, the kind of pain that bruises come with, but it had been enough to alert Link to the fact that something was wrong and he'd looked down to discover that his entire lower torso was nearly unrecognizable. And to top it all off, his legs hadn't even _moved_ like legs anymore, so distorted from the water running down the wall that they'd functioned more like tentacles than anything else. Link had popped off the wall in a frantic rush and dragged himself to the nearest shelter, gasping until his limbs had slowly corrected themselves again.

He'd had a bad case of hydrophobia ever since. Thankfully, water only seemed to affect him in that way when he was a painting, because when he was Hylian the only thing that happened was that he got wet. But the memory of seeing his legs disfigured and having to drag himself to safety when they wouldn't work right was never very far in his mind.

In fact, right now it was about the _only_ thing on his mind, and he forced himself not to look down.

"Just get to the island," Link told himself. "Just get to the island and you can freak out there."

Goddesses, he hoped he didn't have to swim.

Ten minutes of barely controlled panic later, Link lunged out of the surf and scrambled up as far onto the beach as his limbs would let him before he collapsed in the sand, chest heaving. He rolled onto his back and squeezed his eyes shut , feeling for his limbs and tracing their shapes to reassure himself that he wasn't melting.

He wasn't.

"I gotta get over this," Link moaned to himself, pressing his hands against his still-closed eyelids. Even if he acknowledged that he had a perfectly legitimate reason for his phobia, that still didn't make it acceptable! He was the freaking Hero, for Din's sake, water shouldn't be the thing that brought him down.

Link entertained that thought for a few more seconds before sighing resignedly and opening his eyes.

Now, since Link was lying on his back, he was looking straight up. Since he was looking straight up, he could see the clouds. And since he could see the clouds, he could also see that they were rather, big, dark, and very wet-looking clouds.

Said clouds then chose that moment to let out a jarring _BOOM_ of thunder and start pouring right onto Link's island. The Hero let out a yelp and scurried off the sand under the copse of palm trees he'd noticed earlier.

...Well, this was just _peachy_.

* * *

"You know what?" Farore said to nobody in particular. "Close enough. Wasn't even _near_ to the hole I was going for, but it's still a hole. Close enough."

"You talking to yourself again?"

"It's only a problem if I get an answer!" Farore yelled. "Any updates on Courage?"

"Well, the seven in the group worked out their differences and look like they're heading through the void again," Nayru listed. "I took the liberty of checking in on a few other Aspects that you got started with, and the one who just dealt with the Windfish is getting close to land."

"Right." Farore quickly checked on her painted Aspect again; aside from an obvious distaste for the weather, he seemed fairly stationary for the moment. "I'll be there shortly. He'll need some guidance once he makes landfall, the way the current pushed him will put the boy a long ways from where he needs to be."

* * *

There was only so many times one could sing the 'Ninety-Nine Potions of Health On the Wall' song before it got _very_ boring. That, and Firetongue – the language of the Dragons – translated _horribly_ into the rhythm of the tune and pretty much ruined the whole experience.

Thus, Link was now bored. And a bored Link was something that had, on at least one highly memorable occasion, sent Gibdos running for the hills.

Unfortunately, Gibdos didn't live in the ocean. Link spent a few moments being annoyed at this fact, then moved on because being annoyed was depressing and he made a point of not being depressed for more than five minutes a day.

Technically though, with all the days he'd missed regarding his five-minute depression limit, he could probably spend the next straight day or so being depressed... he just didn't want to. Depression was depressing.

So with a severe lack of literally _anything _else to do, Link began swimming on his back instead.

It wasn't all that different from swimming on his front, actually. There just wasn't a lot of things to look at when everything was blue.

Although, that bit up there was white.

Link paused in his stroke and just floated, staring at the bit of white. It wasn't a cloud. It looked like a bird. A seagull, to be precise.

Seagulls were shore birds.

"Goddesses, I'm a RRRHAaarrRRKKH!" Link exclaimed, slipping into Firetongue for a brief moment because the Dragon language expressed idiocy far better than any of the others he knew. He should have looked up _ages_ ago, he probably could have made land by now!

He turned in the water and snagged the piece of driftwood, which he'd been towing the whole time, and perched his upper torso on the board while the half of him that wore the Mermaid Suit remained in the water. It was going to be a lot easier to follow the birds if he could both look up and where he was going at the same time, and having a stable base to lean on helped that tremendously.

Although... was that east, where the birds were going? He really wasn't sure anymore; astronomy had never been his strongest point (the stars were just pretty points of light as far as Link was concerned), and while he _could_ read a map without any problems, there was an astounding lack of maps that depicted the middle of the ocean. He _could,_ technically, try and use the sun, but he hadn't paid attention to which direction it had risen from and as it was now smack in the middle of the sky, told him absolutely nothing about which direction it was going. Basically, following the birds was his best bet.

So follow them he did. For the next three hours. By which point it was quite dark, and the only reason Link realized that he'd hit land was because he swam straight into the beach.

It was mildly painful.

Link, however, was far to excited to be out of the ocean to care about scratchy grains of sea detritus, and after pulling off the Mermaid Suit, veritably bounded up the coastline.

Of course, then his multiple-day ocean excursion decided to remind him that he hadn't actually eaten or slept in a _very_ long time, and Link's legs gave out on him as his body initiated a full muscle lockdown until it got some rest in.

"Alright, I can get behind a nap," Link agreed out loud, even though nobody was around to hear him, and nestled his head into the sand a bit to hollow out a space. The substance scratched at his cheek as he moved, and he paused, frowning. He knew this feeling. There was a very specific kind of sand that scratched in this manner, and there was only one place that had sand like this.

"Veteirnygh-Ai thae," Link muttered as the realization hit him, feeling the phrase was only appropriate considering that it was the native language here.

Link was in Labrynna, which was _nowhere near_ Hyrule. He was going to have to walk all the flipping way back to Hyrule.

_Again_.

"I don't know where, how, or why," Link decided, "but somehow this is all the Windfish's fault."

* * *

"...Well, he's making progress," Nayru offered.

"Yeah..." Farore frowned, tilting her head. "Nayru, do you... feel something odd?"

Her sister thought for a moment, while Din quietly took over at the reality window. "Aside from all the voids in space-time, you mean?"

Farore gave her a _Look_.

"Just checking," Nayru chuckled. "Not particularly, though that might be because the holes are so big that they drown out everything else. Was there something specific that you-"

She stopped mid-sentence. At the same time, Farore's breath caught in her throat, and Din called, "Hey girls? You might want to see this."

"Oh," Nayru said quietly, as Farore hurried to look at what Din was indicating. "That _is_ odd."

"Are they stable?" Farore asked quickly.

Nayru concentrated. "I... believe they are. For now. We'll have to monitor this carefully to see how their individual time-streams interact with each other, but at the moment... Yes."

Farore sagged in relief and dragged a hand down her face. "Of all the things... I wasn't expecting this kind of a split. How did that even happen?"

"Time is in such a mess right now, I honestly can't say," Nayru sighed.

"Girls!" Din exclaimed, motioning rapidly. "They're interacting!"

Nayru crossed her fingers.

* * *

Link stared.

Link also stared.

They both stared for a while. Identical pairs of angled blue eyes met and blinked at each other, then moved and took in the messy straw-blond hair, the forest-green tunics, the matching hats, and the swords strapped to each other's backs. Because, aside from a few superficial differences, _they were exactly the same_.

The younger one eventually broke the stunned silence with a small, muted, "What... the... _heck_..._?"_

The older one suddenly inhaled sharply, like he'd been forgetting to breathe for the past minute or so. "Are you...?"

Younger Link examined Older Link like he was under the Lens of Truth. "Are _you?_"

"Er, well... I'm the Hero of Time."

"So am I."

Older Link stared again. "But... _how?"_

"I'm guessing something broke?" the younger Link theorized. "Did you drop the Ocarina of Time?"

"No!" Older Link snapped, scandalized. "You of all people should know I'd never be so careless!"

"I'm not sure about that," Younger Link replied skeptically. "How do I _know_ you're me and not some doppelganger rip-off that I have to deal with? Again?"

"Well how do _I_ know that _you're _not some doppelganger rip-off that I have to deal with? Again?"

Younger Link regarded Older Link with a blank face. "For someone who's supposed to be my older self, you seem remarkably immature."

"Oh... uh..." Older Link suddenly became significantly more awkward. "I'm not, um, not actually sixteen. Well, I mean, I _am, _I just... wasn't awake for the time in between... it's just kinda complicated?"

Younger Link blinked at him. "Hang on. Are you in Hyrule? Fighting Ganondorf? Like, with Navi and the Seven Sages and Sheik and all them?"

'Older' Link raised his eyebrows, surprised. "I thought you hadn't experienced that yet?"

"Oh my goddesses," 'Younger' Link said. "I'm older than you. You're technically nine, aren't you?"

"Mentally...yes?"

"I'm twelve."

The taller Link stared again. "You're _twelve?"_

"Time flies," the younger-but-older Link replied with a small grin. His counterpart immediately scowled.

"Don't go starting that again."

"I won't if you won't."

"I'm not the one who said it."

"Point," the shorter Link conceded. "You know, if you're a doppelganger, you're doing a _really_ good job."

"Same to you," the older-but-younger Link replied, nodding at his double. "Unless you're _actually_ me..."

There was another stretch of silence as both Links sized each other up. Then they both reached for their bags, paused as they saw the other move, and locked eyes.

"I'm not going for a weapon," the older-but-younger Link said.

"Neither am I."

They slowly completed the motion and pulled out... ocarinas. Specifically, the Ocarina(s) of Time.

Both Links regarded each other in surprise, partly because, what were the odds, and also because they'd been expecting some sort of paradox and resulting end of the world due to two identical objects occupying the same space at the same time. But nothing happened except for more surprised staring.

"Okay," the younger-but-older Link said. "That's a fairly strong point for the 'Not a doppelganger' argument."

His opposite hummed noncommittally. A moment passed; then they both raised their ocarinas to their mouths and played the Song of Storms in perfect synchronization.

Ten seconds later, they played the Sun Song to get rid of the thunderstorm, then locked eyes with each other again, grinned, and went on a medley of all the songs they knew, soaring through Saria's Song, lingering on Zelda's Lullaby, and then dropping into the Song of Time. Younger-but-older Link smirked around his mouthpiece and then switched over into a harmony right as the two transitioned into the Bolero of Fire, causing his counterpart to roll his eyes and begin improvising a crescendo into the Minuet of the Forest, which the first Link matched perfectly. Their back-and-forth duet continued through the Requiem, Nocturne, Serenade, and Prelude until the younger-but-older Link began playing some he knew that his younger self didn't and the latter was forced to stop.

"Now that's not fair," the taller Link complained, stowing his ocarina back in his bag. "I haven't learned that one yet."

"Perks of being the older one," his counterpart laughed, and did the same thing with his own instrument. "That was honestly... extremely convincing. You even _improvise _the way I do."

"Which means... you're _really_ me."

"And you're really me..."

They examined each other fiercely.

"...I looked good with earrings," the younger-but-older Link decided. "I should get those again when I'm old enough."

"Thanks," his other self said, grinning. "But remember to remind Impa to use ice."

The shorter Link winced at the memory. "Ouch, yeah,"

More silence. It wasn't awkward, not really. It was just that neither of them knew what to say to themself.

"...So, since you're my future," the taller Link started, "what do I get into?"

His counterpart frowned. "Can I even tell you without risking a temporal collapse? We're already pushing things enough as is by meeting."

"Oh, right. Uhhh... general details?"

"...Probably can't hurt," the shorter Link decided. "We briefly get cursed, but we get over it. We spend a _lot_ of time playing with masks, and we learn that Mask Salesmen are _far_ creepier than we gave them credit for. We develop a severe aversion to moons, especially if they have faces on them-"

"I'm sorry, what?" the other Link interrupted, looking extremely confused. "Moons? With _faces?"_

His other self shuddered. "Trust me, you want to stay as _far_ away from that thing as physically possible."

"...Is this one of those things that'll make sense when I get there?"

"Probably."

* * *

All three goddesses breathed sighs of relief.

"Oh, that could have gone so much worse," Nayru sighed, slumping. "I have a big enough migraine as it is from the voids in the universe, I do _not_ need a paradox on top of everything else.

"Well, it's already a paradox," Farore pointed out tiredly. "It just happens to be self-sustaining."

"The best kind of paradox," Nayru replied.

Farore let out a puff of air, then launched back to her feet and said, "I'll be right back. I want to check in on my boys again; I think my painted Aspect is about to meet himself."

She was gone before either of her sisters could respond.

"I don't think I've ever seen her so busy," Din commented.

* * *

Link dearly wished that the storm would let up, because he could only take so much stress. He decided right then and there that immersion therapy was _not_ his chosen method of getting over a phobia. Although, he had to admit that, after a while, there was only so much paranoia he could feel before everything started to go a bit numb.

...That probably wasn't a good thing, now that he thought about it.

The copse of palm trees above him had proven to be spectacularly useless as far as shelter went, and chose that exact moment to once again prove why as they dumped a veritable bucketload of water on Link's head. Tropical foliage, Link decided, was ridiculously flimsy. The fronds above him could barely hold their own weight, much less water weight.

The wind didn't help much either.

So, put very, very simply, Link was absolutely soaked and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it, aside from perhaps resigning himself to his fate.

Naturally though, as soon as he'd decided to do just that, his fate decided to play a joke on him.

High above the wind came a rolling, trilling tune that made Link blink and tap at his ears to make sure they were still working. Music in the middle of a storm? Who would be stupid enough to bring an instrument out in this weather?

The song built up to a crescendo, and as it did the clouds abruptly stopped pouring rain and in fact just ceased to exist altogether. Link spent a brief moment gaping at what was _clearly_ not normal cloud behavior before the sun broke out and proceeded to blind him, as he'd unfortunately been looking right at it when it did. He rubbed his eyes and furiously blinked the dark spots out of his vision.

Then he blinked again, because now instead of dark spots he was seeing a small red boat with a face, and a somewhat smaller boy wearing a very familiar green tunic.

"...What?" he breathed, thoroughly and utterly confused.

The boy steered the small boat up to the island and anchored it on the sandbar – giving the large black void a wide berth and apprehensive look as he did – then hopped out of the vessel and splashed his way to shore.

"Hi," he said, wringing out the hat hanging from his head and sending Link a friendly grin. "My name's Link. Can I ask you something?"

Upon hearing this, Link's brain decided that it needed a break from all the insanity and just gave up on trying, which left Link gaping like a fish and rather unable to do anything else. The new boy raised an eyebrow in concern.

"Uh... okay, I'll just be quick then. Have you by any chance seen a giant squid? I need to destroy it to save a pirate princess and a whale god." Then he blinked, and muttered, "That made a lot more sense in my head."

Link processed all this vaguely due to the fact that most of his attention was on the boy's face. While his hair was almost bleach-blond instead of auburn and his face was a bit rounder due to being younger, the kid looked almost _exactly_ like Link himself.

"Hey, um, are you okay?" the boy asked, waving a hand in front of Link's face. "You look like you've seen... a..."

He paused, and from the way his eyes widened, Link could tell that he'd just noticed the freakish similarities as well. Both boys stared at each other for a moment, utterly silent.

The new boy reached out and gingerly poked Link's hat, then made a complete circle and pursed his mouth in utter confusion.

"...Okay, who are you, and why have you got my fashion sense?"

* * *

**12/6/16**

**I'm trying to do a better job at specifying which Link is which, so that when I hop around you guys can tell who is who without their nicknames. It's harder than I was expecting.**

**Aside from that, I felt that the meeting of the Hero(es) of Time went much more realistically. And I got to flesh out Sketch and his phobia more, which I count as a win. I didn't do a very good job the first time around.**

**Firetongue Translations: RRRHAaarrRRKKH (idiot)**

**Labrynnian Translations: Veteirnygh-Ai thae**** (I hate everything)**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to Kianie Black and XzDaFelixZfor favoriting/following!**

* * *

**Guest: Yay! My readers like my stuff :)**

**LuckyLugia(Guest): Oh, I have every intention of writing this thing until it's done. I have put way too much work in to give up now. As for where 'Shifter' ended up... Spoilers. I'm not telling ;) On a slightly unrelated note, I love that you like my story!**

**XzDaFelixZ: Realm comes from the original Legend of Zelda game from 1986. Yes, I do watch Game Theory and am an avid subscriber... and let me tell you, that particular video has come in really handy for this story. ALL the Links will be appearing, except for non-canon games (Hyrule Warriors; I really thought about it but in the end I decided against), the really creepy ones (Zelda CDI), and games that haven't come out yet (Zelda Wii U). And actually, I did have an Epona joke planned somewhere. Good call! And I am SO glad you like this!**

**KnownForHardlyNothing: Yeah, I took inspiration from me and my siblings. It's really easy to write quarreling for some reason...probably because I've got so much experience. And, wow... you just called my stuff perfection. Just, wow. THANK YOU.**


	10. Storytime

**I do not, nor will I ever, own ****_Sonic the Werehog_****. (Okay seriously, where is this coming from? That's supposed to say the Legend of Zelda! I didn't even ****_play_**** Unleashed!)**

* * *

"Okay," Farore said, looking slightly frazzled. "The group of seven is portal-hopping, the multilingual Aspect is in Labrynna, the time-traveling Aspect is getting along with himself fairly well, and the painted Aspect just met up with the sailing Aspect. Have I missed anything?"

"Don't think so," Din replied, counting up the tally on her fingers. "You doing alright?"

"It's just a lot to keep track of," Farore sighed. "It's times like these that I dearly wish we were omniscient."

"If we were omniscient," Nayru said, "we'd likely be one of those stuffed-up elder gods who just sits and watches everything and never intervenes at all."

Farore grimaced. "Yeah, I much prefer being able to _do_ something."

"Speaking of which," Din gestured to the reality window. "You might want to check in on the group again, they're on the move."

"Thanks," Farore breathed, rushing over. "Can you do me a big favor and keep an eye on the others? Let me know if the multilingual Aspect wakes up from his nap."

"Sure thing. I can check in with the sailing and painted ones too, a sleeping Aspect won't do much for a bit."

"And I'll keep an eye on our time-traveling duo," Nayru volunteered.

Farore smiled. "Girls, I don't know what I'd do without you. Now," she flexed her fingers, "let's get to it. We've still got a lot of work to do."

* * *

It was a strange thing, Dusk decided, to throw oneself through a black reality-eating void and have reasonable expectations to not be eaten in doing so. Probably, if it weren't for the fact that he was a Hero and had a vast amount of practice in stuffing his common sense down a hole in order to confront some ridiculously intimidating monster, he would have had more problems with this whole situation.

However, since he _was_ a Hero and _did_ have a vast amount of experience in stuffing his common sense down a hole, he followed his newly-met counterparts through the rift without issue.

Of course, when he popped out the other side and promptly tripped over the pile-up of other Links, he had a bit more of an issue.

"...Ow," he decided.

"Oh, like _you've_ got problems," Blue snarled from somewhere underneath him. "Vio, get _off_ my _leg!"_

"I only fell on your leg because you tripped me!" Vio shot back hotly. "If you weren't sprawled all over the floor right as I came out, we wouldn't _be_ in this situation!"

"Well I only fell because Steam tripped _me!"_

"Oi, don't bring me into this," Steam grumbled from somewhere farther below. "You're all heavy enough as it is..."

"Speak for yourself," Realm wheezed, sounding as though he was on the very bottom.

"Blue, how can you complain about your leg when Realm has a bigger problem?" Vio demanded.

"Because I can't feel it, that's how!"

"I can't breathe," Realm gasped.

"Could whoever has their foot in my face please move it?" Red asked plaintively from... somewhere.

"Sorry Red, but I can't move my foot until I can feel it, and that won't happen until Vio _gets off it!" _

"Okay, could _someone_ move!?" Steam snapped. "Who's on top?"

"Me," Dusk replied. "Hang on a minute, I'll get off."

"Thank you," Realm managed, sounding strained.

"_VIO!"_

"I can't get off you until Green gets off me!" Vio shouted. "Would you _calm down already?"_

_"_BOTH OF YOU, SHUT IT!" Green bellowed. "You're not helping anything! Blue, shut up and be patient, Vio, shut up and help me untangle our weapons."

"See Blue, I told you there was a reason-"

"VIO!"

"Right, sorry."

Dusk stooped down to where Red was sandwiched between Blue and Steam and asked, "Are you _sure_ this is normal?"

"Yep," Red nodded happily.

Anything Dusk would have responded with was interrupted by a metallic clatter as Green and Vio got their equipment separated, followed by a rustling of fabric and a relieved gasp from Blue as his leg suddenly received circulation again.

"Owww, pins and needles," he announced.

"Sorry," Vio muttered.

"I mean, it's not like I lost the leg, but this is the second time! This really doesn't need to become a thing."

"It's not like I _aim_ for you, it just happens."

"Well, maybe next time you can aim away."

"In midair?" Vio gave his sibling a skeptical look. "That's physically impossible."

"For you, maybe."

"It's impossible for everybody!"

"Have you ever _tried?"_

"That doesn't make any-"

"Seriously guys?" Green interrupted. "Seriously?"

Dusk tilted his head. "...he has his work cut out for him, doesn't he?"

"He always does a good job, though," Red replied, grinning. He slid off the pile and tugged his tunic back into place, and turned around to give Steam a hand up while Dusk reached down to Realm.

"You okay?"

Realm took a deep breath in and grinned. "Yeah, just slightly oxygen-deprived for a minute. Weird feeling, that. I don't feel it very often."

"What, you've never been out of breath before?"

"No, I have," Realm assured him. "It just doesn't happen very often."

Dusk gave him an odd look. "Er... were all your battles just really stationary...?"

"Oh, gosh no," Realm snickered. "I ran for my life for _hours._"

"Then how...?"

"Don't ask," Steam cut in. "Trust me on this. You don't wanna know."

"People can't run for hours," Dusk said blankly.

Steam seemed to shudder at a memory. "You _don't_ wanna know."

"I'm not that bad, am I?" Realm asked.

Steam ignored him entirely, shuddered again, and walked off to the Four Sword Links instead. Dusk met Realm's confused gaze and just shrugged.

"I'm pretty sure I've missed something, so I'm just gonna go with it."

He turned around to find the rest of the group-

-and came face-to-face with the rather terrifying image of a ticked-off Midna.

"AND WHERE EXACTLY HAVE _YOU _BEEN?" She yelled into his face. "I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU FOR _HOURS! __**HOURS!**_ DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW BORED I'VE BEEN?"

"Oh no" Dusk said, realizing that a bored Midna was even more dangerous. "Please tell me you didn't do something incredibly dangerous and stupid that will most likely end with me running for my life. _Again_."

"What kind of answer is that!?" Midna shot back, thankfully at a lower volume this time. "Of _course_ I did! Who do you take me for, Shad? But that doesn't answer _my_ question. So, Link, _where have you been?"_

"Uhh..." Dusk was just now realizing that he had no idea, and he glanced at Realm in the hopes that he would know. Unfortunately, Realm was staring at Midna and looking as though he'd just been slapped in the face with a fish. Dusk knew this look all too well; it was the default expression for anybody who'd just met Midna for the first time. He grimaced – Realm would be out of commission for at least four more minutes.

"I think it was Hyrule?" he offered eventually.

"You _think _it was Hyrule," Midna repeated dryly. "Well that's specific. Anything else you'd like to vaguely inform me about?"

"I met some people," Dusk said. "Want me to introduce you?"

"Is this kid one of them?" Midna asked, examining the still shell-shocked Realm curiously. "He looks kinda familiar."

She frowned at him, then flicked her eyes back to Dusk. Then back to Realm. Then back to Dusk, longer this time.

"Link," she said evenly. "Why does this kid look like you?"

"Well-"

"Why is there a floating dalmatian with a helmet?" Blue said abruptly.

"_What_ did you just call-"

"Midna," Dusk said hurriedly, "this is Link. Over there is also Link, the guy next to him is also Link, and then we have Link, Link, and the boy behind them all who's also Link."

Midna paused, gave all of them an intense scrutiny, and then stared at her partner for a minute.

A cricket chirped awkwardly.

"...This is revenge for me throwing you through, isn't it?" she asked eventually.

"Added bonus, actually," Dusk replied, smirking.

* * *

"This probably should have occurred to me sooner," the older-but-younger Hero of Time said, "but how in Nayru's Name did you get here?"

His counterpart frowned. "I'm... not quite sure. Everything was moving very fast."

"Okay, but... do you have _any_ ideas?"

"I think there was something black?" the other Link offered. "I was on my way to confront the thing that was trying to end the world and there was this tunnel, but everything sorta blurred once I got in there and then there was a black thing and then I was here. Which is why I thought you were a doppelganger rip-off, actually."

"When you say 'something black'," the taller Link said, "would that thing over there fit the description?"

Both Links turned and eyeballed the middlingly large, utterly black void that was happily eating away at Hyrule Field as they watched.

"...That's pretty close, yeah," the shorter Link agreed. "Think I can get back through? I _was_ kinda in the middle of saving a country."

"Do you think you can?" his counterpart wondered. "I mean, it kind of looks like it's devouring reality."

As if to prove his point, a Cucco pecked at the edge of the hole and promptly ceased to exist.

"...Maybe not," the younger-but-older Link decided, looking queasy. "But I have to do _something_, the world was about to end!"

"The world was _what?"_

"Oh, uh – spoilers."

"You can't just say something like that and not expect me to notice!" his other self snapped. "I have to save the world _again?"_

"Stop talking before you cause another paradox!"

"That was a one-time thing!"

"A one-time thing which would have ripped the fabric of reality in half if it hadn't turned out to be a stable loop," the shorter Link retorted. "The Song of Storms technically shouldn't even exist because it was technically never written and don't even get me started on the temporal mechanics of how that works but we were _lucky_ and that's all there is to it. I am _not_ going to risk another reality collapse like that, got it?"

Older-but-younger Link stared at younger-but-older Link.

"...When did I become such a stick-in-the-mud?"

"How was _I_ ever this immature?"

"I am not immature!"

"You're _nine._"

"What does that have to do with being immature!? Would people _really_ leave the fate of the world to an immature nine-year-old!?"

"Apparently," the shorter Link muttered. "Though I don't know _what _they were thinking. I must have been a nightmare to work with."

"I am not a – actually, Impa would probably agree with you..."

Link snorted. "To be fair, Impa thinks everybody is a nightmare to work with. She likes her partners to be efficient to an impossible degree."

"That's true, but you'll remember that we kinda broke into the Castle and made the guards she trained look like idiots."

"If people are going to be stupid enough to only look one way in thirty second intervals, I'm going to take advantage of it," the smaller Link said. Then he added, "Remember that experience for when you meet Deku Scrubs, by the way."

"I assume that'll make sense once I get there?"

"Pretty much."

"That's _really_ annoying," the taller Link informed his counterpart.

"It's either that or the paradox," the other Link replied.

Older-but-younger Link let out an irritated huff. "On second thought, _you're _annoying, which is why everything you say annoys me. Annoyance by proxy."

"Hey, a lot of what _you_ say annoys me too," Younger-but-older Link retorted. "And for the record-"

He stopped mid-sentence, eyes wide as a thought occurred to him.

"I just realized – you're me and I'm you. We just insulted ourselves and then agreed on it."

The other Link blinked, then grimaced. "Okay, wow. I just gave myself a headache trying to think through that one."

"...Do you mean that _you_ you gave you a headache, or _I_ you gave you a headache?"

"You just made it worse!"

The future Link paused, then grinned mischievously. "Okay, but is that _you_ you making it worse or _I_ you making it worse?"

His counterpart just groaned.

* * *

"So, let me get this straight," Midna began, having processed the abnormal amount of her partner in a surprisingly short amount of time. "There's _seven_ of you scattered throughout various dimensions or what-have-you?"

"Theoretically, there could be an infinite amount of Links in the universe," Vio said. "But yes, we currently know of seven."

Midna gave them all an appraising stare. "Mm-hmm. So, do all of you turn into wolves, have an utterly georgeous partner, and have to deal with an insane wackjob from another world, or is that just my Link here?"

"Georgous?" Dusk sputtered.

"Wait, insane wackjob?" Realm repeated, confused.

"Another _world?"_ Steam added, equally confused.

"_Who_ turns into a wolf!?" Blue yelped.

Dusk gave Midna a _Look_, which held the unspoken message of, _'This is why I don't let you do the talking anymore', _then sighed and said, "I do."

Everyone gaped at him.

"You do _what!?"_

"I turn into a wolf," Dusk repeated, shrinking awkwardly under the incredulous looks. "It's a bit of a long story, but, uh, there was a curse, and I kinda got pulled into it. And now I turn into a wolf."

"Only really when I want you to, though," Midna added.

"That's only because you could actually _hold_ the thing," Dusk retorted. "And it is most certainly _not_ 'your' decision, it's mine."

"Except for the times when it is my decision," Midna yawned. "Want me to decide now?"

"You can't," Dusk said, smirking. "I'm holding it, remember? Thanks for figuring out a solution to that problem, by the way."

"I knew I was going to regret that," Midna muttered. "Good thing I can still do this, then."

She jerked her fingers in a sharp slashing motion and the pouch underneath Dusk's tunic flew into her palm, where she bounced it playfully and eyed her partner in a pointed manner. Dusk made a futile grab for the pouch, then settled for narrowing his eyes and growling at her – literally, much to the surprise of everyone else.

"Well, dang," Steam commented.

"I think we owe your counterparts a little show and tell, Link," Midna said, tossing the pouch up and down in her hand. "What do you think?"

"I think you enjoy freaking people out way too much," Dusk muttered, but held out his hand in a resigned manner. Midna flashed her fanged smirk and upended the contents of the pouch, an orange-and-black stone that was carved into an intricate, almost tribal shape, into his palm. Upon contact the crystal immediately sunk into Dusk's skin and a smoky-gray shroud raced up his arm and over his torso in a matter of seconds.

The actual change didn't hurt; not anymore. In the beginning, sure. Heck, the very first time Dusk had been transformed, he'd passed out because of the pain. But over time the sensation had dulled to the point where it now just felt a bit like his entire body had filled with pins-and-needles for a brief moment. Which was good, in Dusk's opinion, because wolf physiology was almost nothing like hylian physiology, and he would rather not be able to feel his spine moving into its new configuration, thank you very much. Given what he _could_ be feeling, pins-and-needles were a welcomed sensation.

As the last wisps of the shadow magic settled in, Dusk shook himself and glanced up to find six pairs of eyes staring at him in identical startled interest.

"Well, _dang,"_ Steam repeated. "You're a wolf. You're an actual, literal wolf. I did not see this coming."

"You're fuzzy!" Red enthused.

"He's not feral, is he?" Vio asked Midna, who rolled her eyes.

"Of course not, you idiot. He's still Link, he's just got more fur now." To prove her point, she then dropped onto Dusk's back with all her weight, earning a heavy exhale and an annoyed look from her partner but no other form of retaliation.

"Okay, yeah, that's him," Vio smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."

"You're _fuzzy," _Red repeated with a beaming grin. "Can I pet you?"

Midna turned her head to gauge her partner's response. In general, she didn't treat him like an actual wolf because he wasn't, and because doing so would be highly demeaning – although she made an exception for ear scratches. Normally this meant that things like petting – activities normally bestowed upon pets – weren't part of their normal interactions.

But after a few seconds of contemplation, Dusk nodded his head and rumbled, _"Just be gentle please."_

Red's grin got even wider and he all but buried his fingers in the fur of Dusk's neck. "Ooh, you're really soft," he complimented. "I see why you like to sit there, Midna."

"He's not a bad ride, all things considered," Midna replied, and yawned. "Little bumpy sometimes, but not bad."

_"__I only jolt you because you drop on me,"_ Dusk muttered, forgetting that nobody could understand him.

"Can I feel?" Blue asked curiously, reaching out a hand and joining Red at Dusk's neck. "Oh wow, that _is_ soft. Is this what your Hylian hair feels like?"

That was a good question, Dusk realized. Then he realized that he had no idea whatsoever, and shrugged as best he could to communicate it in lieu of words.

"Let me feel," Steam said, and ran his hand along Dusk's back, where he was quickly joined by Vio, Green, and Realm while Midna took up her usual seat in midair. Everyone spent a few minutes petting the slightly bewildered-at-how-he-got-in-this-situation wolf, although they were all careful to avoid Dusk's face. Everyone understood that there were some lines they just shouldn't cross at the moment and did their best to avoid them.

"Alright lookalikes, break it up," Midna said after a few more moments. "He needs room to change back, you know."

"Right sorry," Green apologized. "Just... I think I can speak for everyone when I say I've never seen _anybody_ do that before."

The other five Links nodded in earnest agreement.

"Fair point," Midna mused, drifting down to Dusk's head level. She placed her hand on his forehead and made a grabbing motion, then pulled out the orange-and-black curse like she had it on strings.

Changing back felt exactly the same as changing; the only real difference was that the process happened in reverse. That, and Dusk didn't shake himself once the process was over with – he just shifted his weight a little and rolled his shoulders back slightly. It was basically his way of quickly familiarizing himself with whichever body he was in before getting down to business.

"It's not that big a deal," he said, taking back the pouch and its contents from Midna and stringing it around his neck again. "I'm sure one of you's done something equally impressive, right?"

"That might depend on what _you_ did," Realm replied. "I, for one, am extremely curious."

Dusk blinked, then exchanged a glance with Midna. "It's more your story than it is mine," he said. "May I?"

"They _are_ you," Midna reminded him. "Go right ahead, little wolf. In fact, I'll help you out just to make sure you don't mess up anything."

Dusk just sighed. "Alright then... basically, everything started when a group of monsters attacked my home village and kidnapped all the children as part of a country-wide hostile takeover by a race from another dimension who were trying to turn Hyrule into a second version of their home by covering the land in a substance called Twilight. I got pulled into the Twilight while chasing after the bulblins who kidnapped my adoptive brother and because Hylians can't actually _exist_ in Twilight, per se, I got turned into a wolf as opposed to the normal result which is turning into a spirit."

"That's when he met me," Midna put in. "I saw him get pulled in and transformed and I followed him until he was thrown into the Castle dungeons, which was where I introduced myself and helped him escape."

"Your definition of 'escape' did not match very closely with mine," Dusk said dryly. "You know I've _still_ got that cuff clanking around on my foreleg?"

"Details," Midna waved a hand idly. "Anyways, I told him what was happening-"

"Barely," Dusk added.

"-and recruited him to help me fix it."

"You blackmailed me with Colin and Ilia," Dusk corrected bluntly. "And then you dropped me off outside the Twilight _as a wolf_ and left me to deal with my village thinking I was a monster and attacking me every time I took a wrong step."

"Good times," Midna sighed.

"...Is there a point to this?" Vio asked.

"Don't interrupt and there might be," Midna retorted.

* * *

After it had become clear that the banjos weren't working, the villains had switched to an even more annoying instrument – and Demise had legitimately not known that was possible.

It wasn't that bagpipes couldn't be epic. Everyone knew that a professional bagpipe player could riff like nobody's business. The problem lay in the fact that none of the villains actually _knew_ how to play bagpipes, and only a select few of them actually had the lung capacity to blow hard enough to keep the bag inflated to keep the sound going. Of the five villains who actually made it that far – the three Ganondorfs, Onox, and Malladus – all of them had far too much muscle mass to control the airflow with the delicacy required, and thus made horrible squawking noises that rivaled a Cucco horde on a rampage.

Mixed in with the overly loud screeching was the feeble (and badly out-of-tune) _blats_ from Veran, both the Vaatis, most of the Ganons (with the exception of Lorule Ganon, who had smashed his in a fury sometime earlier and was now making an earsplitting screech instead), and Zant. And rounding out the abysmal orchestra was Bellum, who instead of blowing air was apparently squirting ink through his bagpipe instead, and Majora, who hadn't even bothered playing its bagpipe and had simply set the whole contraption on fire and cackled madly while doing so.

Demise hadn't thought anything could have sounded worse than a group of people who didn't know how to play banjos.

He'd been so very, horribly wrong.

"STOP THAT INFERNAL NOISE THIS INSTANT!" Demise bellowed vainly for the thirteenth time. And for the thirteenth time, absolutely no one paid attention to him.

"I will eradicate you from all existence," he threatened, in an effort to be regarded with the respect he deserved.

_You already did, fool,_ Majora said scathingly, pausing in its maniacal laughter for the moment. _Why do you think we're stuck in your pitifully small mind in the first place?_

"Well, _this_ time I will be successful," Demise snarled.

Majora made a snorting noise. _I doubt that. _Then it went back to laughing maniacally, which grated on Demise's mental eardrums – when he could hear it over the rest of the bagpipes, anyway.

"Would someone at _least_ take away Bellum's bagpipe," Demise growled irritably. "He sounds worse than all the rest of you put together."

Bellum's 'playing' suddenly cut off to be replaced by infuriated bubbling, until Malladus interrupted him with, _No, that's a good thing! Play louder, you annoy him the most!_

"DO NOT TOUCH THAT INSTRUMENT AGAIN OR SO HELP ME I WILL TIE ALL YOUR TENTACLES INTO GORDIAN KNOTS!" Demise roared.

Bellum bubbled something.

_No idea,_ Malladus replied. _I think it's supposed to be a threat. I wouldn't take it very seriously._

"On the contrary, I really think you should," Demise spat.

_How? You can't touch us and we took out your mental defenses ages ago. You really should've picked something less edible than poultry._

"In my defense, I have never gotten close enough to know they tasted good," Demise muttered. "And I did not think you would be foolhardy enough to test the theory."

_Well we did, and the Cuccos were delicious. The point is, there's nothing you can do to stop us. Bellum, use all the ink you've got!_

Bellum bubbled enthusiastically. Then his bagpipe produced a sound that was somehow both squishy and screechy at the same time, and Demise shuddered.

Demise had never before regretted his actions. Heck, as a general rule, he didn't do 'regret' at all.

But he knew, without a doubt, that he regretted not killing the imbeciles inside his head when he'd had the chance.

* * *

"-and then we kicked Zant's fake-royal behind into next week," Midna said smugly. "It was immensely enjoyable."

"And by that, she means that she sat back while I did most of the work," Dusk added neutrally. "After that we went back and made a plan to take down the barrier around Hyrule Castle, until it turned out we didn't need it because, for some reason, Ganondorf was gone and there was this weird black hole in his place."

"Wonder what that means," Midna interrupted dryly, giving all the Links a _look_.

"So we investigated, Midna threw me in, and you all know the rest from there," Dusk finished. "Any questions?"

"Just one, yeah, _how are you still sane?_" Steam sputtered.

Dusk blinked. "Er... I just am?"

"If it helps," Midna added, "I made sure he kept his sanity. I didn't pay as much attention to his mind though, so I'm pretty sure he lost that somewhere..."

"Probably in the Lakebed Temple," Dusk agreed ruefully. "That's about where I just stopped caring altogether."

"...Okay, that's a bit more believable, but still," Steam complained. "I thought _I_ had some wacky junk to deal with. You've got about three times as much."

"Oh?" Dusk replied in an interested tone. "What did you do? I don't think I ever actually got to hear... something about trains, whatever those are?"

"Trains are machines," Steam explained. "You know what a machine is, right?"

Dusk nodded.

"Okay, so they're basically big metal machines designed to carry a lot of people over a lot of distance. The Hyrule where I come from is kinda built around them – from a societal standpoint, I mean."

"Makes sense," Vio commented.

"So, I was in training to be an engineer, which is the person who controls the train. I'd just passed my exam so I went to the Castle to receive my Certificate from the Princess. That went fine, although I kinda rubbed the wrong way on this little toad-looking advisor with two hats." Steam paused to shudder for a moment. "Nasty dude. I'll come back to him later. Anyways, Princess Zelda used my Certificate Ceremony to sneak me a message in order to hire me to drive her to the Tower of Spirits because she had a suspicion that something was wrong with the Spirit Tracks, and she was right because once we got there it turned out that there was a demon breaking loose and a conspiracy behind Zelda's back and then there was a _lot_ of magic thrown around and the next thing we know, Zelda's body's been jacked by the demon, everyone thinks the demon is actually Zelda, and the real Zelda is floating around as an incorporeal spirit and for some reason only I could see her-"

"Whoa, whoa, hold up there," Green interrupted. "Can you, like, rewind to the Tower of Spirits, explain what that is, and then go from there? Because that's about where you lost me to confusion."

Steam flushed. "Ah. Sorry."

* * *

"Can I get a quick check-in?" Farore called to her sisters.

"The Hero of Time hasn't caused a paradoxical meltdown yet and won't for the foreseeable future," Nayru replied.

"Your painted Aspect and the sailing one are still getting over their surprise," Din said. "And the multilingual one who fell asleep in Labrynna might be waking up."

There was a bright green flash and Farore was suddenly _right there_ next to Din. "Switch me," she demanded. "I need to influence this."

"Sure," Din yawned, sliding out of the way. "Whatever you've been watching can't be more boring than staring at a sleeping guy."

* * *

Link yawned, immediately regretted it because now he had sand in his mouth, and groaned irritably as he sat up and spat a couple times to get the grittiness out. He grimaced, then opened his mouth and scraped a finger across his tongue just to make sure he'd gotten all of it out. Sand – particularly Labrynnian sand – tasted _awful_.

Link spat one last time, just to be absolutely positive, then got his feet underneath him and launched upright like a rabbit, thoroughly startling the seagull that had been eyeing his head as a prospective perch which resulted in a lot of alarmed squawking. Link, being himself, promptly squawked back.

The next few minutes would have been vastly confusing to any outside onlookers, if they had existed, because the sight of a boy having what appeared to be a shouting match with a bird was not something one saw every day.

Link eventually stopped squawking because the bird was winning whatever perceived argument was going on and moved on to surveying his surroundings instead. He was still on the beach, which was good because that was where he'd fallen asleep, and if he'd woken up somewhere else that would have been weird. It was a fairly standard beach; sand, absurdly salty water, the works. A few dozen feet up the shore, the sand met a dark green forest-type landscape which Link knew he would not enjoy slogging through in the next few minutes.

The shore wind chose that moment to kick up and blew Link's rather substantial ginger bangs into his face, which he pushed out of the way absently. He glanced up at the sky; judging by the light quality, it was still morning. Good, he had plenty of time to be bored out of his skull as he walked all the immensely long way back to Hyrule.

May as well get started now.

He trudged up the beach to the edge of the trees and paused to shake the sand out of his clothes. Then he did a double check on his items just to make sure nothing had washed away while he was asleep.

Nothing had. This was a good sign, Link decided, and capitalized on it by closing his bag and marching into the woods with a determined gait and an equally determined look on his face.

It would take him all week to hike his way back to Hyrule, and that was only if he got lucky. The sooner he got started, the sooner he could get it over with.

...But _Goddesses_ he was going to be so very bored in the meantime.

* * *

"Alright, he's going in the right direction," Farore sighed. "Thank Me that he's self-sufficient most of the time. We can let him do his thing for now, he shouldn't get to where he needs to be for a while yet."

"His scheduled arrival time is approximately six days and ten hours from now," Nayru supplied helpfully.

"That's what I said, a while yet," Farore agreed. "Are the others still talking among themselves?"

"Yep," Din said, popping the 'p'. "It's only marginally less boring than staring at a sleeping guy. And by that I mean I'm basically the same amount of bored as I was beforehand."

"Then move and let me watch," Farore said, giving her sister a shoulder bump and a playful grin. "You can go help Nayru watch the other two."

"They've moved onto slowly poking one another," Nayru put in brightly.

"I'm not sure that's a much more interesting alternative," Din muttered.

* * *

"-so that all ended up leading into a massive Train battle between Malladus and I, which was _really_ unfair because he had laser cannons and I didn't," Steam complained. "But at that point this whole void-in-the-world thing kicked in and I'm pretty sure it ate my villain, because the Demon Train crashed into a cliffside and that kinda put a damper on the whole 'fight' thing."

"Makes sense," Green nodded.

"After that, Zelda got her body back and went back to the Castle to deal with the mess Malladus caused while I stuck around to see if I could do anything with the hole. Then those four dummies fell out of it," he gestured to Green, Red, Vio, and Blue, "and we all freaked out a bit, but once we got over it we ended up hopping through the hole and ended up falling on top of Realm here and then we all freaked out again. And then Dusk fell on Realm, and you all know the rest."

"I wonder, since we're all Link, if we would have been able to see Zelda as well," Vio said thoughtfully. "Or perhaps you just have a special sight, of some sort?"

Steam shrugged. "Dunno. I wasn't the only one who could see Zelda's spirit, but aside from me they were all either wise and elderly, part of a magically-gifted race, or both, so... make of that what you want?"

"I have an idea," Midna said, which made Dusk grimace and take two steps out of the blast zone. "Oh, I haven't even done anything yet," his partner scolded. "You're being rude, little wolf."

"Ninety percent of your ideas end with something exploding," Dusk replied bluntly.

"That is blatantly untrue. Things only explode eighty percent of the time," Midna replied. "And for your information, this one is in that much-more-boring twenty percent, so keep your fur on."

"'Little wolf'?" Blue asked, amused. Dusk gave him a Look.

"Do you want to make something of it?"

Blue opened his mouth, abruptly remembered that Dusk could be a lot more terrifying if he needed to be, and opted for the much safer answer of, "Not really. It's just kind of amusing, is all. I wouldn't have pegged the word 'little' as being part of your nickname." Especially given that his wolf form was anything but.

Midna cleared her throat in annoyance. "_If_ we're all done?" she said archly, then raised her hand and cupped her palm around air.

"Tell me if you can see this," she told Steam, then concentrated.

For a moment, nothing happened aside from most of the Links looking confused. Then Steam grinned and said, "Okay, that's pretty sweet. How are you making it dance like that?"

"Awesomeness," Midna said smugly.

"I don't see anything," Realm said, peering at Midna's apparently occupied hand. "What's there?"

Steam frowned. "Well, it's kinda... fluid... and angular? But it moves kinda curvy and it never stops changing. I don't... I don't know how to describe it better."

"You shouldn't try," Midna advised. "They won't get it unless they saw it too. Speaking of which, any takers?"

Everyone who wasn't Steam shook their heads.

"Alright, special sight it is," Midna said definitively. "Congratulations, all that jazz. Moving on!"

She pointed imperiously at Realm and commanded, "You next, brownie."

Realm blinked. "Uhh... okay...?"

"Get started," Midna urged. "The sooner you get to talking is the sooner we can get this whole introductory garbage over with."

Behind her, Dusk made an embarrassed and apologetic smile, accompanied by a neutral shrug which basically communicated, 'Might as well'.

Realm blinked again, then just went with it. "Well, it started because I got lost-"

Blue promptly broke down in hysterical giggles.

"I'm not that bad," Realm said, annoyed. "And I'll have you know that it only took me six days after that until I figured out where I was."

This only made Blue laugh harder.

"Ignore him," Vio sighed.

Realm rolled his eyes. "Sure thing. So anyways, I was lost somewhere in... Hyrule, and I ended up walking into the middle of an ambush that some monsters were springing on this old woman. I really couldn't just let that happen, so I beat off the monsters and rescued her. It turned out that she was the nursemaid of the Royal Family, that the Royal Family had just been attacked by a demon pig, and she was looking for somebody to help rescue the Princess. I ended up volunteering."

"And you said you've been at this for two years now?" Green checked.

Realm turned a bit red. "Not for lack of trying!"

"It's fine," Dusk soothed. "So what happened after that?"

Realm turned a bit more red. "Well... I got lost. And I'm not entirely sure I ever figured out where I was." He blinked as something occurred to him, then said, "Come to think of it, where are we right now?"

"We moved out of Hyrule Castle to avoid making a scene, remember?" Dusk informed him.

"No."

"Well that's understandable," Blue said. "I think the author executed a line break right about then to look in on some other characters."

Everyone stared at him blankly.

"...That made no sense," Midna told him.

"Not to you, maybe," Blue said, shrugging. "But it makes perfect sense to the readers and those are the only people who really – OW!"

Vio retracted the hand he'd just used to clock Blue over the head and glared at his brother. "You aren't supposed to show that you know about that sort of stuff! You're going to break the walls!"

"Okay, geez," Blue muttered, rubbing his head. "You didn't have to hit so hard..."

"Next time it'll be a flying tackle," Vio warned.

"Ooh, I'll help!" Red chirped.

"What's going on?" Realm asked, utterly confused.

"Nothing important, Blue's just being stupid," Green assured him. "Please continue."

Realm blinked. "Okay... um, anyways, I stayed lost and ended up stumbling into a dungeon where I got chased by the two-headed dragon for about two-and-a-half hours. That got me lost again for about... two weeks, and then I fell down a hole and ended up in a different dungeon. That was where I lost my first shield to Like-Likes... and now that I think about it, that was also where I lost shields two-through-fifteen."

"Is that shield sixteen then?" Dusk asked, nodding towards the one on Realm's back.

Realm frowned in thought. "No, this is shield eighty-three... I think. I kinda lost track during the Like-Like horde that lasted for two weeks back a couple months ago, so..." he shrugged.

Dusk stared at him. "...I'm not sure I'm going to believe the rest of your story."

Realm shrugged again. "Sometimes, neither do I. Where was I?"

"Shields two-through-fifteen," Red supplied helpfully.

"Oh yeah. So I actually made it through that dungeon eventually, then got lost again and ended up back in the dungeon with the two-headed dragon, which resulted in another two-and-a-half hour chase, which got me lost again. That lasted for about a week until I accidentally walked onto a beach that belonged to a tribe of Zora. They didn't take that very well so I spent about three days running and hiding from them until I hid inside a tree and ended up inside a different dungeon in the process-"

"The Zora I know are friendly," Dusk interrupted, frowning.

"Lucky you," Realm replied with a sigh. "So, do they only chase you once a month or something?"

Dusk stared at him. "No... they don't chase me at all. I'm on good terms with them."

Realm stared right back. "Now that's just weird."

"I'm not entirely sure that you're the best judge of what's weird."

* * *

Link poked Link one last time, then stood back and just stared for a bit.

Link stared back.

They both stared for a while.

The Link who'd pulled up on a red boat blinked a couple times, then said, "Okay seriously, why do you look so much like me?"

The Link who'd walked through what he'd thought was a Lorule Gate swallowed heavily and booted his brain back into gear. "I... I don't know."

"Weird," the Link with the boat decided. "Hey, what's your name?"

"...Don't freak out?"

"Why would I freak out?"

"Because my name is Link too?"

Boat Link paused. "...Okay, that's a pretty good reason."

Gate Link shrugged nervously. "Just, when you introduced yourself, my brain kinda broke, so... I dunno, I thought maybe fair warning would help?"

"Not really," Boat Link admitted, eyes still wide in surprise.

"Oh. Sorry."

They stared at each other again.

"Question," Boat Link said after a moment. "I've been to just about every island in the ocean and I've met pretty much everybody who lives on them. I've _never_ met you before. How, exactly, did you get here?"

"Well... uh..." Gate Link ran a hand through his bangs, as he wasn't entirely sure himself. "I think I came through that hole over there, but I don't really know how that happened, to be honest."

Boat Link turned and surveyed the hole.

"Er... how?"

"Well, I was trying to use a Lorule Gate, but I guess I mixed up which type of portal I was actually going through and-"

"Hang on, 'Lorule Gate'?" Boat Link interrupted, furrowing his brow. "What's that?"

"...You've never heard of Lorule?"

"Well, no."

"Okay, what about the people turning into paintings? You _had_ to have heard the rumors about that, right?"

Boat Link raised his eyebrows. "People turning into _what?"_

Gate Link was getting mildly annoyed. "Okay, seriously? What about Princess Zelda getting kidnapped by Yuga? Hyrule Castle being taken over by Paint-Guards? The weird smoky cracks in the walls that came out of nowhere one day? Is _any_ of this ringing a bell?"

"...No," Boat Link said slowly. "Because Princess Zelda got kidnapped by Bellum, not 'Yuga', Hyrule Castle is at the bottom of the ocean, and, again, I've been to every island in the ocean and there are no 'weird smoky cracks' in any walls, anywhere."

Gate Link gaped at him. "_WHAT!?"_

"I could say the exact same thing to you," Boat Link muttered. "Seriously though, _paintings?_ That's a thing that happens?"

"Forget about that, let's revisit the fact that _Hyrule Castle is underwater!"_ Gate Link sputtered. "How did that happen!? _When_ did that happen!?"

"...A couple centuries ago...?"

Gate Link stared, utterly flabbergasted.

"...How did that happen?" he repeated weakly.

"You know what, I'm gonna start over," Boat Link said, "because clearly all we're accomplishing here is more confusion. Hi, my name is Link, and I'm the Hero of Wind and the current Wind Waker. Nice to meet you."

"...Yeah," Gate Link managed. "...Okay. Um. I'm Link, the New Hero of Hyrule. I don't really have a second title."

"Nice to meet you," Boat Link said again. "Now that we've got the official introductions done, should I explain why Hyrule is about three-thousand feet below the surface?"

"Yes please," Gate Link said fervently."

* * *

"-then I got lost again and ended up in another dungeon instead," Realm said, "and then I got chased by the four-headed dragon because it turned out that he lived there. That lasted for about an hour and a half, until I literally tripped over the place where the Magical Sword was. So I switched out my weapons but got lost again and ended up in the middle of basically all of Ganon's minions and a large black hole. The minions all ended up running, but the hole seemed important so I made a concentrated effort to stick around, and then those five there fell on me." He shrugged, and said, "and that's about it."

"Two hundred and twenty six," Blue said.

"What?"

"That's how many times you remembered getting lost," Blue informed him. "I counted."

Realm considered that. "...You should probably add an extra fifty or so for all the times I forgot about."

"That's just ridiculous," Steam said, shaking his head in disbelief. "How does that even _happen_?"

Realm frowned. "I have no idea. I start walking and then I just end up places. You would not believe the amount of islands I've ended up on even though I can't actually swim."

"That's impossible," Vio said bluntly.

Realm just shrugged.

"I like him," Midna said to Dusk. "He's amusing."

"Glad to hear it," Dusk replied in a mildly confused tone, as he wasn't entirely sure why she was sharing this with him.

"I have a question," Red said, raising his hand. "Is it our turn now?"

Blue grunted. "What makes you think it's 'our turn'?"

"Because everyone's told their story but us," Red said. "So it's our turn now, right?"

"Knock yourself out blondie," Midna said.

Red tilted his head. "But that would hurt..."

"Figure of speech, Red," Vio informed him.

"Oh."

"I'll just get us started then," Green decided hastily. "Originally, we were one boy named Link-"

"Wait, what!?" Realm sputtered. "How!?"

"I'll get to that," Green told him. "So we were one boy named Link living in Castle Town and we were good friends with Princess Zelda-"

"-probably the only friend she had, now that I think about it," Vio suddenly said, picking up Green's sentence like it'd been his instead and giving the listening group a bit of whiplash trying to follow the speaker. "But anyways, she'd always been pretty sensitive to things like spiritual imbalance and one day-"

"-she sensed that something was wrong with the Four Sword," Blue abruptly put in, completely taking over the explanation while Vio settled back like he'd never been talking. "So she gathered the Spiritual Maidens-"

"-they're the ones who help keep Hyrule safe, because of their magical abilities-" Green took over quickly.

"-and took them and us into the Four Sword Shrine to check on the seal," Blue picked the explanation back up as though Green hadn't interrupted at all. "The only problem was that the whole thing turned out to be a trap-"

"-and Zelda and the Maidens got captured!" Red wailed, taking over from Blue without seemingly any communication between them. "So we _had_ to do something about it and the only thing we could think of-"

"Was drawing the Four Sword," Vio said, smoothly taking the explanation again. "Now the Four Sword is called that for a reason, and you've probably already guessed what it did-"

"-and this is the result," Green spread his arms to gesture at himself and his three brothers. "The only problem was that-"

"-drawing the Four Sword broke the seal and released Vaati," Blue growled. "And he basically went out and made Hyrule a big fat mess, which of course-"

"-we had to fix because it was kinda our fault that he was released," Red said sheepishly. "So after we got ourselves sorted out-"

"-and stopped panicking," Green addded ruefully. "We set off to the nearest-"

"Okay, could you stop that!?" Steam demanded. "Pick a speaker and stick to it! Trying to follow you guys is giving me a headache!"

The four colored Links exchanged confused glances.

"Er... doing what, exactly?" Blue asked

"You're, like, picking up each other's sentences like you _know_ what each other is going to say and it's seriously messing with me!"

The colored Links exchanged another round of looks. "I didn't think we did that," Vio mused.

"We'll try to tone it down," Green said hesitantly. "But we might slip up a bit-"

"-or a lot," Blue added.

"Guys no, we just said we wouldn't do that!" Red scolded.

* * *

"Farore," Nayru said gently. "I think you ought to rest."

"Not now," Farore said, not looking up from her reality window. "There so much I need to monitor and so much that could go wrong if I don't. We can't chance _anything _right now."

"Alternatively," Nayru countered, "You could let Din and I take the reigns because nothing is happening or going to happen for a while and there's not a lot you can do if you're too tired to notice something's wrong."

"I will notice when something's wrong," Farore insisted, still not looking up. Nayru raised an eyebrow that her sister didn't see.

"So, you've been aware that Din swapped your necklace for a fishhook and some string half an hour ago and just haven't done anything about it, then?"

"What?" Farore said, looking down. "DIN!"

"Took you long enough!" the goddess called back. "Your jewelry's tied around your ponytail, if you want it."

Nayru smiled in a satisfied fashion as Farore fixed her accessories. "So, about that rest."

"Yes, fine, I'll take a break," Farore agreed irately. "But you come and get me the minute _anything_ goes wrong, got it?"

"Absolutely," Nayru said. "Now _rest."_

"I'm going, I'm going..."

* * *

"-so we climbed the mountain to Vaati's Palace without a lot of trouble, because it turned out that there wasn't actually anyone at the top-" Green explained, then nodded to Red as a signal to continue the narrative. Attempting to stop picking up each other's sentences had turned out to be _really_ hard to do, so in order to spare their audience the confusion the four Links had moved to visually cueing who would take the sentence next instead. It helped... mostly.

"-and so we all split up to look for Princess Zelda, because she was still up there somewhere," Red chirped, taking the cue effortlessly. "But then Green got stuck in a tree and everything revolved around trees for a while-" he tapped Vio on the shoulder to pass the sentence on.

"-not terribly long, but enough to slow us down," Vio agreed. "But after we fixed that and regrouped, we went and found Zelda at the mountain's peak and escorted her back down the mountain. Then we spent a while in the Castle Library-" he gave Blue a gentle nudge in his ribcage and Blue took over the explanation without even pausing.

"-because there was this big black hole where Vaati had used to be," he continued. "That was boring and lasted longer than it needed to, but eventually we climbed the mountain again and tried to apply Vio's research to the hole."

He poked Green's arm as his cue and Green said, "None of it worked. Then we kinda found out completely by accident that we could travel through the thing and fell into Steam's Hyrule, and... you know the rest."

"The end," Red finished brightly.

There was a moment of silence as the listeners all took a moment to piece together the explanation they'd just been given.

"That," Steam said eventually, "was like listening to a conversation run through a blender."

Realm frowned. "What's a blender?"

"It's a machine, it mutilates food. Usually on purpose."

"...That doesn't explain it to me."

"Whose fault is that?"

"...Yours."

"Well," Midna interrupted pointedly, "this was... mediocre. Moving on to something much more interesting, what are you all going to do now?"

"Well, I would assume that we're going to keep hopping through the dimensions or whatever these are until we find what the problem is," Vio theorized. "Why?"

Midna yawned. "No real reason. I just wanted to make sure you were all okay with me bodily chucking you through." Before anyone could really respond to that, Midna flexed her hair and snatched all seven of them into the gigantic fist protruding from the top of her helmet. Blue yelled in surprise, Steam flinched, the other four just stared blankly as they registered things, and Dusk let out an annoyed groan.

"Seriously, again?" he asked.

"You should thank me," Midna sniffed. "I'm cutting your stall time by eighty percent, I'll have you know."

She snapped her fingers and they all briefly vanished to reappear once again inside Hyrule Castle's main hall, where the hole had grown large enough to swallow both the throne and the dais that the throne had sat upon, then arched her hair-hand and launched her cargo through the hole all within the span of about five seconds. This was done on purpose, so that she could have the last word in. Midna _loved_ getting the last word in.

"Pardon my intrusion," Princess Zelda said suddenly, having been inside the hall at the moment. "But did you just throw Link and six doppelgangers through the hole? Again?"

"They're saving the world," Midna explained. "I was cutting their stall time."

Zelda considered that, then decided that it made enough sense for her to accept it. "As long as Link comes back at some point. We still need to do damage control on all those bridges Zant collapsed." She paused, and gave Midna an appraising look. "Speaking of which, I'm officially drafting you onto the Repair Crew."

"Ex_cuse_ me?" Midna said. "Why on earth is that a good idea?"

"Because you can lift things thousands of pounds heavier than yourself and I'll pay you in opportunities to humiliate the Castle Town nobility," Zelda informed her.

"...I'm listening."

* * *

**1/11/17**

**...The more I rewrite, the larger my word count gets. I'm not sure how this happens, because literally all I do is take what I had and improve it.**

**Maybe I was just really bad at providing explanatory narrative.**

**In other news, I've started naming the chapters. I think this will make it much easier to figure out what's happening when.**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to Xana100 for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**LuckyLugia (Guest): Yep, you were correct! Just to let you know, I'm not actually calling him 'Shifter'. I have a different name picked out. **

**XzDaFelixZ: Dang that was a long comment... right. Answers. ...Why is my updating on time exciting...? / Your favorite author? Really? Wow... I feel honored. / WW Link and ST Link huh? Mmm...yeah, I think they're related. Like, WW Link is Steam's ancestor. It makes sense. / I'm really glad you liked the Heroes of Time, I was looking forward to introducing them. Although I feel I should wonder what you were doing awake at 4 in the morning... / For Wii U Link, I'm basically waiting to see what his game is like before I decide whether or not I'm gonna throw him in. / I'm relieved you understand my position on yaoi. I don't really want to write stuff like that. So I don't. / I don't think I'll lose my motivation for a good long while. Not that I have people waiting on me now... my personality refuses to let me let anyone down. So no worries!**

**PsycoFangirl: Nah, Din's a goddess. She's outside of the laws of the jinxing universe which makes things worse upon the uttering of the chosen phrase. So we're good.**

**Guest: Wow, people really like having two Heroes of Time. I'm really glad I decided to do that! As for the Hero's Shade... I didn't even think about him. I more consider him as a ghost... plus when I was in my planning stage I was only using Links who were game protagonists. I also think I decided having a Link to represent death would be too morbid. The Master Sword in Windwaker, I believe, was still lodged in Ganondorf's head at the bottom of the ocean. Granted Ganondorf isn't exactly there anymore, but it's still at the bottom of the ocean. And I already gave WW Link the Phantom Sword, so... yeah.**

**jakeroo123: Yeah, I know it's a little confusing. That's why I'm going slowly, to give you guys a chance to remember who's who. **

**The Dark Lord: I'm glad you do!**

**KFHNIPod: I'm guessing you changed your username? Thanks for letting me know who you were! Yes, this story does have humor as one of the categories, and I'm glad you think I'm doing a good job! I'm just going to make sure I live up to your praise/expectations.**


	11. The One With the Boat

**I do not, nor will I ever, own Shadow the Hedgehog. (Okay, seriously? I didn't play that one either! Not to mention that it made ****_no_**** sense whatsoever and it's that game's fault that I can never decide if Shadow's a clone or not – wait, that's not the point. The point is, that's not my disclaimer!)**

* * *

"...and that's why I was out on the ocean in the first place, which led to me finding you," Boat Link finished, coming to the end of a _very _long and complicated explanation of the history of his Hyrule and his life in general, since the two were intertwined rather impressively. "Does that answer your questions?"

"I think it just made more, actually," Gate Link admitted. "Because that's not how my version of history goes, like at all. I'm not sure if we had a Hero of Time or not because up until a couple centuries ago we basically had a... dark age, I guess? It's only been fairly recently that we've gotten ourselves up and running again, and as far as I'm aware the only past Hero we have is the Hero of Legend."

Boat Link frowned in confusion. "Er... who?"

"The Hero of Legend. You know, the guy who saved Hyrule _and_ a couple surrounding countries? Singlehandedly responsible for the peaceful relations between Labrynna, Holodrum, and us? Ringing any bells?"

"No," Boat Link admitted. "But I'm pretty sure it's all underwater anyways."

Gate Link wilted. "Right... so, just to clarify, I'm in a Hyrule that's clearly not mine with no idea how I got here and no idea how to get home." He let out a sharp breath and ran a hand through his bangs. "This day could _not_ get any stranger."

"I doubt that," Boat Link observed. "It's been my experience that things can _always_ get stranger regardless of whether it should be possible or not. For example, my talking boat turned out to be the King of a country that stopped existing a couple centuries ago. I'm still not sure how he managed that, much less how he figured out how to live _well_ past his life expectancy. Although he did end up being a ghost, so..."

"On that topic," Gate Link interrupted. "Well, not actually _that _topic but something else you said. You mentioned something about controlling the weather?"

"Oh yeah," Boat Link said, and pulled out a silvery, ornate baton in his left hand. "This is the Wind Waker. It's got some sort of magic that lets me direct the... well, wind."

"Sweet," Gate Link said, impressed. "Can I get a demonstration?"

Boat Link shrugged, then waved the item in an up-left-right pattern, which somehow caused peals of bells to ring out from absolutely nowhere, making Gate Link jump while his counterpart snickered at his reaction.

"No, I don't know where it comes from," Boat Link said preemptively (Gate Link had been opening his mouth in confusion) and pointed the Wind Waker decisively to the left. A sudden blast of air shot past the two boys in blatant defiance of the previous wind direction and turned the whole weather pattern around in a matter of seconds. Gate Link stared up at the clouds in surprise and watched as they scurried in the opposite direction from moments ago, and clamped a hand on his hat to keep it in place in the new breeze.

"That's really something," he commented. "How does it work?"

"Magic," Boat Link shrugged. "I never got a more specific explanation than that. Needless to say, my life got _really_ weird afterwards."

"I hear that," Gate Link sighed. "I've spent the last few months hopping between my world and a mirror reflection of my world where all the people have counterparts with exactly the same face. You'd think that somebody might have discovered there's an alternate Hyrule before me, but _nope_. I got to find out when we got invaded and turned into watercolors."

"You mentioned that before," Boat Link remembered. "You said that people got transformed into paintings?"

"...It'll probably be quicker just to show you," Gate Link decided, and promptly fused with the trunk of the tree he was standing next to. Boat Link raised both his eyebrows in surprise.

"...I did not see that coming," he admitted, and leaned in close for a better look. When Gate Link blinked and waved at him, he jumped back again and stared. "You can move?"

Gate Link nodded, then glanced around as if checking something and popped off the tree with a bright flash. "Wasn't entirely sure that would work, but I guess wood is as good a canvas as anything," he mused.

"Does it hurt?"

"No – well, kinda. At first, yeah. I'm pretty sure it was originally a curse, but mine got... modified?"

Boat Link grinned. "You have no idea, do you?"

"Look, it hurt the first time, less the second time, and now not at all," Gate Link retorted. "That's about as specific as I can get. But I _am_ pretty positive about the curse bit."

"That's unfortunate."

"Eh, I got over it. Helped that the thing comes in handy so often."

Boat Link tilted his head. "So, how much do you use it, then?"

"It's the only way I can get to Lorule," Gate Link explained. "So... couple dozen times a day?"

"And there's no side effects whatsoever?" Boat Link asked. "I mean, when you were on that tree you looked a bit... malformed."

Gate Link frowned. "How so?"

"You were doing this weird thing with your arms," Boat Link held his hands out, trying to demonstrate and failing because he just couldn't contort himself that way. "Like, your arms were sideways, but your body wasn't?"

Gate Link's eyebrows furrowed, and he attempted to mimic what Boat Link was doing. He failed miserably. "Okay, _ow_," he said, trying to twist himself into position. "This seems physically impossible. Are you sure that's what I was doing?"

"Pretty sure, yeah," Boat Link grunted.

Both boys spent a minute more on their efforts, then unanimously decided that it wasn't doable and eased out of their positions, wincing.

"Now I'm a bit freaked out," Gate Link decided. "Apparently I'm breaking the laws of anatomy and physics."

"What I'd like to know is _how_ you're doing it," Boat Link said thoughtfully. "Theoretically, I'm pretty sure your spine should not be able to twist like that."

"I... don't know," Gate Link said. "How _am_ I doing that?"

Unnoticed above their heads, a wall began to crack ever so slightly.

* * *

"Code Four!" Nayru screeched. "They're questioning the Nintendo Logic!"

"Distract them!" Din ordered. "Drop a squid on them or something!"

"Let's go with 'something', okay?" Farore said quickly, eyes narrowing in concentration.

* * *

Two dimensions over, a hole was suddenly rerouted from where it _would_ have led (and a certain multilingual Link on the other end) and instead dropped the seven Heroes currently using it as a portal on a sandbar in the ocean. On the beach of the island, Boat and Gate Link jumped in surprise and immediately forgot what they had been talking about in favor of the much more confusing presence of the boys who were now spitting saltwater from their mouths and looking extremely bewildered.

Above the island, a wall with a crack in it fixed itself and vanished, leaving three Goddesses very relieved and the Heroes none the wiser.

"...The heck?" Gate Link said knowledgeably. Boat Link just blinked and tilted his head, eyebrows expressing his confusion. They were experiencing just a bit of deja vu, because the seven boys on the sandbar bore an awful lot of resemblances to the two of them, and said resemblances weren't just limited to the tunic and the floppy hat.

"Alright, roll call," one of the taller boys on the sandbar announced. "Does everybody know how to swim?"

"No," said the only brunet in the group, which earned him incredulous looks from the other six.

A smaller boy who wore all blue let out a disbelieving snort. "Okay, seriously? You've literally ended up on, and I quote, 'the only island in the lake' over a dozen times based off your story, How did you get there if you can't swim?"

"I have no idea."

"...Holy Din you're serious."

"Can we discuss this when we're not in the middle of the ocean?" another boy broke in. "We can just give Realm a tow or something, right? _Somebody's _got to have a rope."

"I've got it," the teen who'd called roll said, and promptly took out said rope to tie around the brunet boy's waist.

"Is this normal for your ocean?" Gate Link asked his counterpart quietly. "Random clones of you just showing up out of nowhere?"

"Not usually," Boat Link replied. "This is a first."

By this point the teen who couldn't swim had been pulled to shore by the ones who could, and the whole group was wringing out their respective hats and looking at their new surroundings.

"Farore, it is _really_ warm," one of the boys said, squinting up at the sun.

"We do appear to be in a tropical environment," a smaller boy dressed in purple noted. "Places like this are known for hot climates."

The tallest one glanced around and shrugged. "I've felt hotter," he said. "Then again, I was inside a volcano at the time, so perhaps I'm not the best judge."

"_Why_ were you inside a volcano?"

"Fused Shadow piece, remember? I spent a good half hour telling you guys about it."

"I was more questioning your sanity than your reasoning," the boy wearing blue muttered.

At this point, Boat Link decided he ought to introduce himself and his counterpart. Plus, he had an important question. So he cleared his throat and said, "This may sound like a stupid question, but have any of you seen a giant multi-eyeballed squid?"

Unfortunately, Boat Link had not taken into account the fact that none of the newcomers had actually noticed his presence yet, and his unexpected voice caused nearly all of them to flinch. In one case, however, a boy in red jumped an entire six inches into the air, came down farther left than he meant to, and landed more-or-less on top of the boy in purple. This knocked him off-balance and caused him to fall on top of the boy wearing blue, who staggered and promptly went down on top of one of the smaller boys in green. Then _that_ boy flailed for balance, accidentally hit the brunet in the face, and they both ended up on the ground – the only difference was that the brunet was still tied to the tall teenager with the rope and ended up pulling him down too, right on top of the seventh and final boy who let out a startled expletive that _almost_ managed to drown out the angry ranting of the boy in blue, who apparently had his leg trapped under the boy in purple and was _not_ happy about it.

"...Oh dear," Boat Link said. Gate Link flicked him in the forehead.

"Congratulations, you've single-handedly caused the fall of the green-hatted empire," he said dryly. "Maybe next time you should let people know you're there _before_ you ask them random questions."

"It's not a random question, it's a perfectly valid one," Boat Link argued, somewhat forgetting about the pile-up in front of him. "I need to find the giant squid so I can kick his tentacles so I can save a pirate princess and a whale god."

"Do you even hear how ridiculous that sounds?"

"Well, you're just going to have to take it up with reality, because I promise you that's what needs to happen," Boat Link sighed. "Except that I've been having a really hard time finding the squid, which is why I've been asking around. Which reminds me," he said, turning to the pile of green-clothed boys in front of him, "you guys haven't answered my question. Has anyone seen a giant squid? I need to-"

"Does it _look_ like we'd be able to see a giant squid!?" someone snarled – from the sound of things, it was the boy in blue. "Who even asks about squid? Who even cares!?"

"Uh... I think we do," the boy in red at the top of the pile offered.

"That was fast," the brunet commented.

"Great, they can keep caring because I don't," the blue boy growled. "Vio, _get off my leg."_

"This wasn't my idea, you know!"

"Doesn't mean you can't fix it!"

"Oh for crying out loud," one of the smaller boys in green moaned. "Blue, Vio, this is not the time! There are more people in this pile than just the two of you and I would appreciate it if you'd think of the rest of us for a change! Now shut up and act like the civilized people I know you can be so we can all stand up."

"And greet the two new Links," the teenager near the bottom added.

"That too," the small boy agreed. "Okay?"

Amidst much grumbling, the boy in blue and the boy in purple – wait, were they named for their clothing or did they color-code themselves according to their name? Who even named their kid 'Blue' anyway? – got themselves untangled within a few short seconds, and it only took a few more before the whole group was on their feet again and sizing up the two newest Heroes.

"Seriously, is no one going to answer my question?" Boat Link asked.

"No, we have not seen a giant squid," recited a different boy in green. "We haven't seen any regular-sized squid either. Heck, we haven't seen any squid period." He paused, then added, "Although I'm not sure I actually know what a squid even _is. _Is it mechanical?"

"No," Boat Link said.

"Then I've got no idea. Sorry."

"We haven't seen a squid," the brunet teen clarified. "Would your name be Link, by any chance?"

"Both of us, actually," Boat Link said, indicating Gate Link next to him with a hand wave. "Why?"

"So are we," the tall teen answered with a slight, apologetic smile that wordlessly expressed sympathies for any following confusion.

Gate and Boat Link stared silently for a moment.

"...Huh," Gate Link said. "Wasn't expecting that. Does this mean we're gonna have to talk over the history differences again?"

"You're taking this better than I expected," the brunet boy observed. "I was expecting something more along the lines of confused gibbering or a blatant refusal to acknowledge our existence."

"We kinda did that already," Gate Link informed him.

The brunet teen blinked. "That is really convenient, we should try to make that happen more often. Anyways, I'm Link, you knew that already, but to avoid confusion we've given each other nicknames. Mine's Realm, nice to meet you."

"Same..."

"Over there is Dusk," Realm continued, pointing to the tall teen. "The short blond one is Steam, and the quadruplets over there are Red, Vio, Blue, and Green – yes, they're dressed by color, and no I won't tell you which is which because it really should be obvious."

"We're not quadruplets," Vio sighed. "We're-"

"I _know_ what you are, but if I try and explain that now we're gonna be here for hours," Realm said. "Let me drop one bombshell at a time, okay?"

"That does make sense," Vio conceded.

"Anyways, that's us," Realm said, turning back to Boat and Gate Link. "The Heroes of Hyrule, Twilight, Trains, and Light, respectively. Your turn."

The two boys exchanged glances; then Boat Link shrugged and made a submitting motion in order to let Gate Link go first.

"Uh, well, I'm Link," he said somewhat awkwardly, "the New Hero of Hyrule... and I don't have a nickname."

"_New_ Hero of Hyrule?" Realm repeated. "Why is your title a direct copy of mine with the word 'new' in front of it?"

Gate Link shrugged helplessly. "Search me. Now why, exactly, am I introducing myself if we're all named Link and we all know it?"

"Because you need a nickname," Red informed him, "and I need to know how to give it to you. Now clearly I can't use your title because that would be repetitive and unoriginal, so! Did you do anything weird or special during your Hero-ing?"

Boat Link poked Gate Link in the arm and pointed at the bracelet on his wrist, raising his eyebrows meaningfully. Gate Link stared pointedly back, then said, "You don't say. I totally wasn't going to mention that. It's _completely _normal."

"So sarcastic," Boat Link grinned.

"Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer," Gate Link replied, grinning back. Then he looked back at Red and said, "I can turn into a painting at will."

"Cool," Red breathed. Behind him, the other six Links exchanged surprised looks. "Vio, give me every art-related word you can think of!"

"How about just the ones you've heard of," Vio said amusedly. "Draw, sketch, render, trace, outline, illustrate, paint-"

"Sketch!" Red interrupted triumphantly. "Thanks, Vio!"

"No problem."

"'Sketch'?" Gate Link repeated. "That's my nickname?"

"Well, I also liked 'Trace'," Red chirped. "But 'Sketch' just flowed better. What do you think?" He pinned Gate Link with wide eyes and an earnest expression, which made him look remarkably like an adorable puppy. Link internally cursed his weakness of adorable puppies.

...He actually did like the name, though. He just didn't like feeling as though he'd been coerced into it.

"I think it works," Sketch said, and was promptly glomped by an excited Red. "Try not to strangle me-!"

Red abruptly released him and turned his adorable puppy expression on Boat Link, who had been watching the whole thing with supreme amusement. He was forcefully reminded of his younger sister, who was a certified master of the precious kitten expression, and sighed good-naturedly.

"Link, Hero of Wind," he said. "I assume I'll be called 'Breeze' or something?"

"Unless you want to use 'Wind'," Red replied. "Nobody wants to use their Hero title as their nickname for some reason..."

"I like my title," Wind said. "I'm fine with using it."

"Yay!" Wind was immediately glomped. "Welcome to the group, you guys!"

"Sorry, what?" Sketch said. "Why is there a group, how are we suddenly a part of it, and what is even going on? Someone explain to me how you all came out of that hole because everything that touches it vanishes from existence and I still need to get back home and literally _none_ of this makes any sense right now."

"This feels familiar," Dusk murmured. "Alright. As it was explained to me, a large amount of holes have opened up in the fabric of reality because of a yet-to-be determined reason. Everything that touches them gets obliterated, except, for some reason, us. It turns out that there are multiple Hyrules, versions of Hyrule, or many different time periods of Hyrule that have had a Hero save the world and that's who we all are. We appear to have been recruited, of sorts, to find the problem with the universe and fix it, and we've concluded this because we all have something sacred or given to us by deities that provides protection when we jump through the holes, which for us act as portals between one Hyrule and the next." He paused for breath, then asked, "Did I miss anything?"

"No, you were quite thorough," Vio said. "Nice job."

"Thanks. And that's the gist of things, anyways," Dusk said to Wind and Sketch. "We've also been running into more versions of ourselves the more Hyrules we go through trying to find the source, so we all started tagging along, and... well, that's how I ended up here, anyways. Somewhere along the line it became a given that any new Links we find just end up coming with."

Sketch blinked, then threw up his hands in exasperation. "Are you kidding me? I'm not even done saving the world in _my_ Hyrule, now I've got to save the universe too!?"

"Looks that way," Wind said. "At least I got a proper warning this time. I'm in."

"'This time'?" Green repeated.

"Yeah, well, the first adventure I went on started off as me trying to save my sister, but somewhere along the line it turned into saving all of Hyrule and I'm still not quite sure how that escalated so fast. I'm just glad to know what I'm getting into for once."

Aside from Sketch, who had heard all this beforehand, everyone stared for a moment.

"...Mind elaborating on that a bit?" Steam said eventually.

"Do we have time?" Wind asked, glancing at the hole which was now happily eating away at the actual sandbar rather than the water above the sandbar.

"Hard to say," Vio said. "But I would rather save the world with somebody I know rather than somebody I don't."

"Good point," Wind said, and sat down on the sand to get started, as he had a substantial amount of adventure before this and telling it all out loud was going to take a while. "So I got started on my thirteenth birthday, when a dragon-sized bird kidnapped my sister."

"WHAT!?"

"Is she okay!?"

"She's fine, I rescued her," Wind said, amused. He waited until everyone relaxed again, then continued, "Anyways, I ended up more-or-less bullying my way onto a pirate ship where I eventually convinced the captain to follow the bird to rescue my sister because it turned out that the only reason the bird was here in the first place was because the pirates were and it was after their captain. It mistook my sister for her, so... it sorta made sense."

"Wait," Blue said. "The captain of the pirate ship was a girl?"

"Yes," Wind said. "Her name's Tetra. Don't underestimate her. She can be properly terrifying when she wants to be."

"How?"

"She shot me out of a catapult," Wind said matter-of-factly. "Anyways, after I finagled my way onto their ship we sailed to this place called the Forsaken Fortress – which was where I got shot from the catapult, by the way. _That_ turned into an experience of it's own which ended with me getting the crap kicked out of me by this green-skinned ginger dude in a silk robe. He actually turned out to be the Big Bad, but I'll get to that later."

"Would his name be Ganondorf, by any chance?" Dusk asked.

"Uh, yeah. How'd you...?"

"I've got my own version," Dusk said. "Continue, sorry to interrupt."

"Right. I ended up getting flung across the ocean and I'm not really sure how far, but I woke up in a talking red boat who introduced himself as the King of Red Lions and agreed to help me get my sister back. So _that_ meant I had to find a sail, which took a while because I had to go on this complicated fetch-quest to get the thing, but I did find one eventually. That's why the King gave me the Wind Waker, so I could use the wind to steer."

"Wind Waker?" Steam repeated.

"I'll just demonstrate," Wind decided, and pulled out the silvery baton.

Sketch clamped his hands over his hat in preparation.

* * *

"So... what do I call you?" the older-but-younger Hero of Time asked his younger-but-older counterpart. "We literally share every single name I can think of."

"Hey, if you want Fairy Boy, I am perfectly fine with letting you have it," the shorter Link said.

"Okay, if anyone passes for a 'Fairy Boy' right now, it's you."

"What, just because I'm shorter? I'll have you know that I've got at _least_ a foot of height on you in maturity levels."

"Could've fooled me."

"Oh for – we're _not_ doing this again," the shorter Link groaned. "Let's just pick new names that we _haven't_ been given by somebody else, okay?"

"Sure," his counterpart shrugged. "But, won't my nickname also be your _previous _nickname?"

"Din I hate time travel," the older Link grumbled. "Let's deal with that when it comes, okay? In the meantime, do you have _anything_ that can distinguish you from me?"

"You're the older one," the younger Link pointed out. "Everything I've got, you have stashed away somewhere. If anybody's going to have something that the other doesn't, it'll be you."

"Point," his counterpart conceded. "Okay, let me think... have you got a Lens of Truth?"

"Yes."

"Darn. Umm... oh. Do you have any masks?"

"Just the ones I sell for the Mask Salesman."

The shorter Link shivered briefly, for no reason that his counterpart could readily think of. "Right, but we didn't _use_ any of them?"

"Well, no, but why does that matter?"

"That's what I've got that you don't," the older Link said. "Masks."

"Should I call you Mask, then?"

"I can live with that," Mask agreed. "As long as you don't call me Majora."

"Who?"

"Er... nobody really important. Got any ideas for your name?"

Link frowned and marked down the name 'Majora' to ask about later, but accepted the topic change without complaint. "Well... no."

"If you ask me, 'Ocarina' doesn't sound too bad," Mask offered. "And technically, you know..."

"Yeah yeah," Link said. "But I don't know if I want to be named after what's probably the most sacred instrument in the country. Isn't that sacrilege or something?"

Mask shrugged. "Beats me. But if there's anybody who can get away with that type of thing, it's probably the Hero who saved the world, yeah?"

Link was silent for a moment. "...You've loosened up our morals quite a bit, haven't you?"

"More fun that way," Mask said. "So, are you Ocarina or should we keep brainstorming? 'Cause I've got a few more we can try out. 'King Zora' for example, flows pretty well."

"We were never engaged!" Link sputtered.

"Ruto thinks otherwise," Mask singsonged.

"I'll take Ocarina, thanks" the very flustered teen muttered.

"That's settled, then," Mask said decisively. "So... now what?"

"I have no idea," Ocarina admitted. "Under normal circumstances I would say, 'Let's put you back in your time to avoid a paradox', but that's not really an option..."

"We could try the Temple of Time," Mask suggested. "I'm only from the future, not an alternate dimension or whatever, so maybe it can put me back?"

"Worth a shot," Ocarina agreed. "You remember the way?"

"Do I remember the way," Mask snorted as he started walking. "I only spent the better part of seven years running in and out of that thing every time I needed a time switch."

"That's not how it works!" Ocarina protested.

"Details. Point is, I know how to get there, so you don't need to come if you don't want to."

"Actually, I was heading in this direction anyways," Ocarina said. "I'm actually on my way to confront Ganondorf once and for all."

Mask paused. "...oh, I'm _really_ interfering with history here, aren't I?"

Ocarina shrugged, looking unsure. "Dunno. Maybe, just... don't help me fight the guy and we'll be good?"

"Yeah, I'll just cheer from the sidelines," Mask snorted. "You'll be fighting for your life and suddenly you'll hear, 'You can do it, Past Me! I know because I was there!'"

They both broke down into snickers.

"...Actually, would you mind?" Mask asked after a moment. "I think it'd be fun."

"You're the one worried about paradoxes, you tell me."

"It _should _be fine... I think," Mask decided. "Besides, the worst that could happen is a blatant breaking of the space-time continuum and to be perfectly honest I'm pretty sure that's the reason I'm here right now. Therefore, all the consequences to worry about have already taken place and thus we have nothing to stress over."

"I'm not entirely sure that's how it works..."

"Hey, when you can make sense of the Ocarina of Time's manual, you let me know. Until then, I'm sticking with this explanation."

"Oh what, _you've_ managed to figure it out?"

"Heck no, are you kidding? That thing's got more contradictions and complications then the list of steps you need to follow to bake a Cucco without getting killed. I stopped trying after page three."

"_I_ got to page five."

"You did not, I would remember that!"

* * *

"...so now I've been just sailing around looking for Bellum because he wasn't where he was supposed to be and I still had the King around to use. He's still a perfectly functional boat even though he's not really alive anymore, so it wasn't much of a hassle. Then I met Sketch here and we freaked a bit and eventually got around to introducing ourselves, and then you guys showed up." Wind shrugged. "And that's about it, really."

"Okay, how old are you?" Steam asked.

"I turned fourteen last month. Why?"

"You stabbed a man in the head."

"Yes, but in my defense he'd tried to kill me at least six times beforehand."

"You buried your sword in his face," Steam enunciated. "How are you not, like... suffering from mental trauma or whatever?"

Wind tilted his head. "Well... at that point, he'd sent the Helmaroc King to kidnap my sister, blocked up all the Great Fairy Fountains, put curses on at least two different islands to prevent anyone from accessing specific items that could help defeat him, set a monster on the Great Valoo, tried to kill me, tried to kill Tetra, ended up forcing Tetra into hiding so he wouldn't be able to get her Triforce, was the whole reason the original Hyrule had to be sunk in the first place, was the whole reason the Royal Family had turned into pirates, stole power from the Master Sword to ensure that it couldn't be used against him again, killed the original Sages of Earth and Wind, caused the Triforce of Courage to break into pieces so I had to go search them out, tried to kill me again, almost succeeded, stole mine and Tetra's Triforce pieces, and almost caused total world domination by wishing on them. I was sorta just fed up with him by then." His eyes hardened, and he added, "Also, he hurt my sister. _Nobody_ hurts my sister."

"Duly noted," Steam muttered.

"I tend to look at it this way. If I hadn't done it, who would?"

"Logical," Vio agreed.

"Anyways, that's me in a nutshell," Wind finished. "Sketch, I think it's your turn?"

"This day has taken a bizarre turn of events," Sketch said idly. "Okay, so everything really kicked off on the day I went to deliver the Guard Captain's new sword. I was an apprentice blacksmith at the time, so I usually ended up being the go-for when I wasn't helping with a job."

"Wait, so you can do metalwork?" Steam asked, eyes gleaming.

"Some," Sketch said. "I was always better at the fancy stuff than the actual functional things, though. Drove my teacher crazy, I could never get a sword-point right."

"If we get the time, you wanna help me make the parts for a fully-functional self-lighting lantern? I've got this idea involving friction and some flint but I have no idea how to work a forge."

"Sounds interesting," Sketch said thoughtfully. "Sure, why not."

"Um, not to be rude," Green said. "But what does this have to do with your story?"

"Oh, my bad," Sketch apologized. "Anyways, I ended up going on what was more-or-less a wild goose chase because the Captain, for some reason, had gone all the way to the Sanctuary on the far side of Hyrule Castle."

"But you said he was the Captain of the Guard," Realm said. "Shouldn't he have been, you know, with the Guard? Doing his job?"

"Yeah, well, he's got a crush on the daughter of the Sanctuary's priest. He does stupid stuff to please her sometimes."

"And to think we trust people like that with the safety of our Princess," Steam muttered.

"Hey, I didn't hire them. The point is, it took me almost an hour to find the man, but when I actually tracked him down I got caught in the middle of an attack that this redheaded dude named Yuga was launching on the Sanctuary. He kidnapped Seres – that's the daughter – because she was photogenic or something and then made it literal by turning her into a painting."

Vio straighted. "That's new."

"He turns into a wolf," Blue snorted, pointing at Dusk who subtly averted his gaze to a nearby palm tree. "Why is artwork more impressive than that?"

"I meant that it's new in that we haven't come across anything like it before," Vio retorted. "Honestly, do you even _look_ for subtext?"

"People should say what they mean," Blue rolled his eyes. "The world would be a lot less complicated that way."

Vio opened his mouth for a comeback, then paused. "...Point," he admitted. "I can agree with you on that."

"Farore," Green said, in shock. "Red, I think the world is ending. Blue and Vio just agreed on something."

"Can I continue now?" Sketch interrupted, looking mildly annoyed.

"Oh! Uh, yeah – sorry."

"Right, so I walked in and saw that, and I was still holding the sword that I was gonna deliver to the Captain, so I made the completely smart decision to attack the scary magic dude head on. It went about as well as you would think. I ended up slamming headfirst into a wall when Yuga turned _himself_ into a painting and I kinda blacked out."

"Ouch," Dusk winced.

"Yeah, not my best moment. After that I woke up back in my house with this guy in a purple rabbit costume standing over me. Turned out he was a traveling merchant of sorts, found me knocked out, and brought me to the first unoccupied house he found, which happened to be mine, ironically. Somehow we ended up making a deal where Ravio – that's his name – would run his business out of my house and let me rent items from him in return. He also gave me this bracelet," Sketch held up his left wrist in display, "as rent, or something like that."

"That is a really musty piece of jewelry," Realm observed.

"Don't knock it," Sketch warned. "This thing saved my life. Basically, I went to Zelda who gave me a pendant and sent me to this sage who lived in some nearby ruins, and _he_ sent me after his smug narcissist of an apprentice who turned out to be Yuga's next victim, and when I tried to charge him again Yuga got annoyed and turned me into a painting too."

"But you're not..."

"Turns out that this bracelet," Sketch tapped it for emphasis, "lets me control Yuga's curse-spell-thingie at will. When I got turned into a painting it activated and pulled me back off the wall. Now, I can basically do it anytime I want, as long as I've got a surface to merge with."

"Can we see?" Red asked eagerly.

"Yeah, sure, can't let Wind steal all the attention," Sketch replied. "Give me a minute to find a good tree."

* * *

"Courage Check!" Farore called.

"Mine is still walking," Din replied. "And he's getting very creative with the number of ways he's thought of to curse out the Windfish in thirty words or more."

"...I'm sorry, how is that impressive?" Nayru asked, distracted.

"Well, he's doing all the cursing in Darkling-"

"Ah," Nayru said. "That _is_ impressive. Vulgar, but impressive. I'm sorry I asked."

"Girls," Farore sighed.

"The Heroes of Time still hasn't caused a paradox with himself," Nayru reported. "I think we can relax on that front."

"Question," Din said. "How do we know that, once they're all together, they won't cause a paradox with each other? More than one of them is capable of manipulating time – I mean, suddenly we've got two Ocarinas of Time now, and I'm pretty sure I remember the Hero of Legend has a Harp that can basically do the exact same thing. What happens if they try to see who can do it better?"

There was a soft _thump_ as Nayru's temporal senses considered this, panicked, and promptly knocked their host out in a fit of hysterics. The Goddess of Time slumped to the floor, thoroughly unconscious.

"...You broke her," Farore said in tones of great realization.

"Ah, dangit," Din muttered.

* * *

"...and since I'd finally gotten everything I needed to take Yuga down, I tried to head back to Lorule to help Hilda seal him. The only problem is that I apparently used the wrong portal... somehow... and instead of Lorule I ended up on this island after popping out on that sandbar." He nodded towards said sea feature. "Then Wind found me and we both freaked out, and... you know the rest."

"...Does anyone else get the impression that we get into an awful lot of painful and possibly fatal situations considering that most of us haven't even hit sixteen yet?" Steam commented.

"Oh, that's right," Wind remembered. "You guys have stories too, don't you?"

"Oh crap," Blue groaned. "We're going to have to do this every time we meet someone new, aren't we?"

"Right, I'm going first," Steam said quickly. "That way I can take a nap for the remainder."

"...Should have thought of that," Realm muttered as Steam launched into his adventure.

* * *

"Walking," Link grumbled, pushing through the Labrynnian undergrowth – which, if he thought about it, really wasn't all that different from Hyrulean undergrowth, but it made him feel more justified for being annoyed at it if it didn't belong to the bush that grew right next to his house. "Who even invented walking? It's tedious and boring and it makes all the self-aware blue-and-winged ride-giving bears unemployed."

He continued walking in silence for a few minutes.

"What's the point of ground?" he said suddenly, even though nobody was around to hear him. "All it does is make people upset that they can't get off it. Which is really odd, considering how much they walk around on the stuff. But no, people can't stand ground. We've got witches who use brooms to get away from it, blue bears that grew wings to get away from it, a krifagen whale that figured out how to _fly_ to get away from it... So why have it?"

Nobody answered him.

"Desgoseds, rodeb-Ai ma os," Link sighed, foregoing Hylian altogether for Labrynnian again. He'd already used it to insult the Windfish in a previous sentence, he might as well just convert for the time being.

Then he decided against it. He didn't really have a reason why, he just felt that not speaking Labrynnian for the next six-and-four-thirds hours would be equally boring as just speaking Hylian, and since there was no discernible difference between the two he was fine being bored in his native language. Fewer tenses to remember that way.

"Goddesses, I'm so bored," he groaned, repeating what he'd said in Labrynnian just to make a point to whoever might be listening. There wasn't anyone listening, but if there had been, Link wanted them to have known how bored he was right now. "All there is to do is walk! Walk and talk to myself and think of new ways to make Zelda doubt my common sense."

More silence.

"I should write a book," Link decided suddenly. "I should write a book about my life, exploits, and ability to make an entire country question my sanity in three days or less. Size of country notwithstanding." He tapped his chin. "I could call it, 'All Your Pots Are Belong To Me'. It'd be filled with nothing except an overly detailed and outright contradictory step-by-step instruction manual telling the reader exactly how to properly destroy a ceramic container." He considered this for a moment, then frowned. "On second thought, it might be _more_ confusing if I wrote a perfectly normal autobiography and then acted like nothing was wrong. Few things perplex people more than if the local crazy starts acting sane." He chuckled. "They never believe me when I tell them I _am_ sane... I'm just really, _really_ bored."

This reminded him of his current predicament, and his mood dropped right back down again. "Dangit, I'm so bored..."

Why did walking like an ordinary person have to be so... _ordinary?_

* * *

"...and that's how I met the group, got acquainted, and ended up here," Dusk finished, bringing the rather long and complicated explanation of everyone's backstories to a close. "Anything else you want to know about us?"

"Do you give rides?" Sketch asked.

"No," Dusk said firmly, and thanked the Goddesses that Midna wasn't around to contradict him this time. "Anything _sensible?"_

"I'm fine," Wind said. "You were all very thorough. And I enjoyed hearing about everyone."

"Good," Dusk said, standing up and brushing sand from his tunic. "Think you're ready to go, then?"

"Are you _sure_ that thing's safe?" Sketch said, eyeing the void with no small amount of trepidation. "I've seen it eat anything that gets close."

"I'm sure. Watch."

Dusk took a few measured steps towards the void, enough that he was standing in the surf, and held up his left hand for the two Links on the beach to see. A Triforce mark was glowing faintly on the back.

"Right, it glows when it's safe," Wind remembered. "You did mention that." He walked up to join the taller Link and looked down at his own hand, which had lit up as he'd gotten closer. "Neat."

"Yeah, cool," Sketch said, from the beach where he hadn't moved. "I'll take your word for it."

"Something wrong?"

"Well, uh... remember what I said, about being a painting and not mixing well with water as a result?"

"Ah," Dusk said, remembering. Sketch had skimmed over that part of the story, as it had obviously been a bad memory, but he'd said enough for the group to know that he and liquids didn't really get along. "Hydrophobia?"

"More or less," Sketch replied.

"Would it help if I gave you a lift?"

Sketch tilted his head. "I thought you just said you didn't do rides?"

Dusk rolled his eyes. "On my shoulders," he clarified. "It's not that deep from here to there, you should be fine if you're up top."

"I..." Sketch paused, stretching out the word. He was grateful for the offer, no doubt. But as a Hero, he didn't like to admit that he needed help – at least, not help like this. There was just something about relying on someone else because he couldn't conquer his own fear that made his pride wilt.

But... the thought of getting wet triggered a _far_ worse reaction than the thought of accepting a ride did. "I'd appreciate that," Sketch said.

To his eternal gratitude, Dusk didn't say anything; merely smiling and kneeling down to help Sketch up. Then, once his passenger was firmly in place, he turned and called down the beach to the rest of the group (who had all been asleep while Dusk finished off the storytelling), "Hey guys! We're leaving!"

There was much yawning and annoyed grumbling as the six other Links rejoined with their companions. But for the most part, everything was going fairly smoothly.

That was, until Realm suddenly turned around, patted at his back, and said, "Not to alarm you guys, but has anyone seen my sword?"

Everyone stared at him.

"...You're kidding, right?" Blue asked.

"Ah, ha," Realm laughed weakly. "No...?"

"Okay," Vio said after a moment. "When do you last remember having your sword?"

"I... have no idea," Realm admitted. "But, um, while we're on this topic, I also seem to have misplaced my shield...?"

"Wait, this is _actually_ a thing?" Sketch exclaimed. "I thought he was joking!"

" Unfortunately not," Dusk said, lowering Sketch off his shoulders and taking a look around the island. "At least we've got a limited area to search in, your stuff can't have gotten far."

"I think you're forgetting," Steam contradicted, "this is the guy who can, apparently, get from a desert to an island within ten minutes and without being able to swim."

Realm smiled apologetically.

"...If we start now, I think we have a decent chance of finding his stuff by midnight," Vio opined.

* * *

**2/13/2017**

**Apparently, I forgot to have the Links who'd already told their stories ****_retell_**** their stories to the ones who weren't around to hear it the first time. **

**…**

**Yeah.**

**Anyways, a more fleshed out intro between the group and the new additions, nicknames for the Hero(es) of Time, and a quick look in on the Goddesses and the Hero of Legend, who's still trekking his way through Labrynna. Poor kid.**

**Changeling**

**Labrynnian Translations**

**krifagen (freaking)**

** Desgoseds, rodeb-Ai ma os (Goddesses, I am so bored)**

* * *

**PsycoFangirl: I've always thought bad music was a form of torture. Quite honestly I've rather enjoying putting Demise through all this. And I'm glad you liked the blender bit!**

**LuckyLugia: I've actually got names for all the guys already. That was one of the first things I planned. However, in the interest of avoiding spoilers I will not be saying what they are. You'll find out their names eventually *smiles evilly at the cliffhanger***

**KnownForHardlyNothing: Yeah, that makes sense. And wow, thanks for saying that! I think this is the first time my writing has been called a masterpiece... now I feel all warm and fuzzy. Thanks for the encouragement!**

**Xana100: None of my Links are actually mute. I believe the one you're talking about was just in shock. As for mentioning you, well, I like giving credit where credit is due. And I always feel privileged when someone thinks my stuff is good enough, so I want to thank them. This is just my way of doing it.**

**Yoki: Yep, SS Link is in here too. We just haven't met him yet. As for Ghirahim... well, during my research phase I decided that he did not count as part of Demise's curse since at the time Demise hadn't even cast it yet. However since the Links will be going to that time period eventually, he will be a character. He's just not in Demise's head with all the others. (Although I seriously considered it... Ghirahim had so much potential for craziness, but my logic and hatred of plot-holes eventually decided otherwise.)**


	12. The One Who's Multilingual

**(The problem here, is that nobody else can get on my account to mess with my chapters. So how the heck does this keep happening?)**

**I do not, nor will I even own Knuckles the Echidna.**

**(And for that matter, why is everything altered to Sonic characters? That doesn't even make sense! I don't even ****_have_**** a story about the Sonic characters!)**

* * *

"You are kidding me," Sketch said blankly. "How in Hyrule did that even _get_ up there?"

Realm just shrugged and began climbing the tree, albeit with some difficulty because it was a palm tree and didn't have any helpful branches on the way up.

"He was on the ground the whole time," Sketch continued in disbelief. "He was _asleep_ on the ground the whole time. How the _heck_ did his sword get _lodged _in a _coconut_ that's _still in the tree?"_

"Sometimes it just happens," Realm replied from a few feet above Sketch's head, and hoisted himself up a few more inches.

"_HOW!?"_

Realm shrugged again. Sketch stared, then pressed his hands over his face.

"I do not have the sanity to deal with this," he groaned.

"You could always do what I do," Wind offered.

"And what's that?"

Wind made to reply, then paused. "...I was going to say that I go sailing because it helps clear my head, but then I remembered why that was a bad idea for you."

"Great," Sketch said through his fingers.

"Can one of you spot me?" Realm called from above. "There's a palm frond in my face and I can't see where I'm reaching anymore."

"Move your hand to the left," Wind advised.

"This is my life now," Sketch told himself, lifting his head out of his hands and shaking it in bewilderment.

"Personally," Dusk said to Sketch quietly, "I just accept the weirdness and go with it. That way when a woman-bird pops out of a pot in the middle of a frozen arctic mountain on the kitchen floor of a Yeti's mansion and offers to let you use her as an item, you can just smile and nod."

Sketch blinked. "...Do I want to know?"

"Probably not," Dusk replied.

"Got it!" Realm announced cheerfully from the treetop, and a few seconds later landed in the sand with a muted _thump. _He sheathed his weapon in a fluid motion and said, "That went much quicker than usual."

"I don't want to know your usual," Sketch immediately declared.

Realm was entirely unoffended by this and just chuckled. "Suit yourself. Hey, has anyone found my shield yet?"

"Steam saw something shiny in the water," Dusk said, pointing, "so the others went to investigate. I don't know what they're going to find, though..."

"Eh, wouldn't be the weirdest place. Once I had to get my shield out of a Like-Like that was inside a Lynel that was inside a Dragon" Realm replied, and proceeded to march off to join the shield search like he hadn't just said something completely insane.

"...This is going to be an interesting adventure, isn't it?" Wind observed.

"Tell me about it," Sketch agreed.

* * *

Ocarina glanced down at Mask.

Mask raised an eyebrow.

Ocarina mirrored him, then cleared his throat and said, "So... you've beaten Ganondorf already?"

"No, I will not tell you his attack patterns," Mask said.

"Oh, come on! It would be a huge help!"

"And mess up our timeline, cause a paradox, and probably melt the universe even faster than it already is," Mask shot back. "If I had to beat up the creep on my own, so do you."

"That is _so_ not fair."

"That's exactly the definition of fair!"

"Doesn't mean I have to like it..." Ocarina muttered.

Mask let out an exasperated sigh. "Look, I'm just trying to stave off the probably inevitable paradox for as long as I can. Can you at least get behind me on that?"

"But if it's inevitable, why bother?"

"Because," Mask said in the tone of voice which told his counterpart that he was keeping a tight reign on his emotions, "paradoxes tend to be world-ending, and I happen to be living in the world that would be ending, and I would personally rather not go through that for the fifty-seventh time in a row!"

"Fifty-seventh time in-"

"Spoilers!" Mask snapped, then rubbed his eyes and let out another sigh. "I just... I already deal with this kind of mess _way_ too much for my liking, can you just trust me on this and not ask me for future knowledge?"

Ocarina was quiet for a minute. "...Yeah. Sure."

"_Thank_ you."

"...But can you just tell me _one_ thing that I should watch out for-"

"Oh for the Love of Nayru!" Mask threw up his hands. "You want spoilers? Fine, here's a spoiler. He's going to try and kill you. Don't let him do that."

Ocarina scowled. "I literally already knew that!"

"Well then, you should have been more specific."

"You are _such_ a _jerk_."

Mask flashed a smug smile. "Well then, you should start taking notes for your turn."

"I can't believe I grow into you," Ocarina griped.

"And I can't believe I grew out of you, so we're even. Now, don't you have a villain to beat up?"

Ocarina frowned. "We haven't gotten to the Castle yet, though."

Mask raised an eyebrow and pointed to Hyrule Castle, which the two of them had walked up to seconds ago without really noticing. It was gray and dismal-looking, with a lot of yellow clouds doing a swirly-thing around the tallest spires for no readily discernible reason.

"This is a lot less depressing than I remember it being," Mask noted.

"Personally, I think it's pretty bad," Ocarina replied.

"I've seen worse," Mask said. "I've seen a _lot_ worse."

Ocarina briefly wondered exactly what he was in for in his future, then thought about asking, then realized that all he would get in answer was "Spoilers," and just kept quiet. Besides, he was currently standing in front of the stronghold of his greatest enemy and his stomach was doing backflips. He swallowed nervously.

"I know you won't – can't – tell me much," Ocarina said slowly, "but can you at least tell me how much I should brace myself?"

Mask considered that, then sighed.

"A lot," he said. "Brace yourself a lot."

Ocarina nodded, then checked his Adventure Bag to see what he had in the name of healing items. Which meant that he checked his Adventure Bag to see what he had in the name of Red Potion.

He had three, for the interested. Ocarina frowned at them.

"Maybe I should go buy a fourth," he muttered.

"Hey, you'll be fine," Mask said. "The laws of time basically _guarantee_ you win. I'm kinda the physical embodiment of the proof."

"That doesn't exactly make me feel better."

"Want me to be your cheerleader? I' think I can improvise a thing or two."

"Please don't."

"You can do it, Past Me! I know because I was there!" Mask yelled, using his hands to funnel the sound straight into Ocarina's face.

"...You're enjoying this, aren't you." Ocarina accused levelly.

"Wouldn't you?"

Ocarina suddenly found himself torn between agreeing that he _would_, and holding onto his annoyance for the sheer sake of not giving his older self the satisfaction. It was truly odd just how quickly having his future self hanging around was becoming 'normal' in his mind. Part of him wondered if he ought to be taking notes for when he grew older and did this the second time around. Then he ran that thought through his head again and raised a finger in confusion.

"Question," he said. "If you're me in the future, does that mean you remember this from my point of view?"

Mask paused, thinking it over.

"...No," he said at length, looking just as surprised as he sounded. "It's... weird, there's like two sets of memories from the events the two of us have already experienced, but I've got nothing as far as what happens beyond this. Huh."

"So... this is the first time that you're experiencing this too?" Ocarina clarified.

Mask inhaled sharply "Ah, crap. We're _living_ in a paradox right now, aren't we?"

"Maybe?"

"Time travel hates me," Mask groaned. "And I'm beginning to return the favor. Can we just get a move on with your whole Final Battle so we can hopefully fix whatever's wrong and avoid universal collapse?"

Ocarina shrugged hopefully, then drew his sword and hoisted his shield and marched determinedly over the Sages' Bridge and through the doors on the other side. Mask watched him go and ran a hand through his bangs.

"Goddesses above, please don't let this come back to bite us," he muttered.

Abruptly, Ocarina let out a yelp, which was followed rapidly by the sound of a laser being fired multiple times and multiple objects subsequently breaking. Mask poked his head through the doors to see Ocarina sprinting madly across the entrance hall and just barely staying a few inches ahead of the aim of the Beamos intent on incinerating him. Mask winced.

"Potential paradox notwithstanding, mayyyyybe I should have warned him about that."

* * *

"If it were near the sandbar with the hole on it, I would understand how it got there," Steam complained. "But that was _nowhere near_ any of the places we've been!"

"Oh thank Din," Sketch breathed. "I'm not the only one who thinks this is insane."

"I wouldn't say my life is insane," Realm said thoughtfully, drying off the last of the saltwater from his shield. "Just... very mentally taxing."

Steam planted his face in his hand. "Realm, we haven't left this beach. At all. So _how_, just, _**how**_**, **did your shield get from your back to the bottom of the ocean floor four feet underwater _on the other side of the island?"_

Realm just shrugged.

"He's insane," Sketch said decisively. "All of this is absolutely insane."

"Hello pot, my name's kettle," Realm grinned, and swing his shield onto his back where it belonged – though whether or not it would stay there was another issue entirely. "You turn into a literal piece of art. Remember your own insanity before pointing out someone else's."

Sketch had to admit that the brunet teen had a point.

"Anyways, that _should_ be everything I misplaced," Realm continued. "Are we all good to go?"

"We should be," Dusk replied. "Sketch, do you still want that lift?"

"...Yeah," Sketch admitted. Dusk wordlessly knelt down and helped his shorter counterpart climb up onto his shoulders before standing back up and wading into the surf towards the sandbar.

"Oh, before I forget," he said over his shoulder (and Sketch), "when you all follow me, could you do it single-file? I'd rather not repeat our usual pile-up while I've got a passenger."

Blue elbowed Vio in the ribs. "He's talking to you."

"Oh, and I suppose you were entirely blameless in all those situations?"

"Hey, I was on the bottom. That means _you_ were the one causing the pain."

"No, it means _you_ tripped_ me, _and if you'd be more careful then I wouldn't have to watch my feet!"

"Well _clearly_ you don't do a very good job, because despite you _apparently_ watching your feet you still trip one me anyways!"

"Why are you even on the ground is what I want to know! There should be no reason for you to lose your balance, yet _there you are_, laying right where I'm going to step! Honestly, you should be grateful I've only ever landed on your leg and not your head."

"Okay, _now_ you're-"

"NOW IS NOT THE TIME!" Green bellowed, shutting both of his bickering siblings up. "Do you two _ever _take a break?!"

"Blue started it," Vio accused levelly.

"Vio needed the reminder," Blue retorted

"You two are going to be the death of me, I swear to Nayru," Green groaned. "Alright. Vio, you go first. Blue, you go last. And so help me, if I see either one of you within ten feet of the other while we go through that hole, I will smite you myself. Clear?"

"Clear," his brothers muttered sullenly, moving to their respective assigned positions while Green took a calming breath and Red smiled happily. Sketch visibly decided not to ask, while Wind just watched and shrugged. Everyone else took it in stride, having seen it all before and not finding anything to be concerned about.

"Alright then, let's go," Dusk said, and waded out into the ocean with an increasingly tense Sketch on his shoulders and the rest of the group on his heels. One by one they jumped into the hole – and in actual orderly fashion, for once.

* * *

Five days.

Link had been walking for five days.

And he _still_ hadn't reached Hyrule yet.

The only reason he hadn't just flopped down and called it quits for the day was that he could see the Black Tower _waaaaay _far off in the distance, and he knew that Hyrule was only about a day-or-so's worth of travel from there.

"Whoever's idea it was," Link grumbled, "to make Labrynna twice as long as it is wide deserves a good kick in the shin."

* * *

For no readily discernible reason, Farore decided that Din needed to have her shin kicked right that instant.

"Oi! What was that for!?" Din snapped. Farore shrugged.

"Apparently you deserved it," she said.

"What did I do!?"

* * *

Link tilted his head curiously.

"I suddenly feel vindicated," he observed. "Wonder why."

Then the feeling wore off. He peered at the Black Tower, which was still _waaaaay _far off in the distance, and sighed.

"Walking," he grumbled, setting off yet again. "Who even invented walking?"

* * *

Sketch clambered down off Dusk's shoulders and observed his surroundings with a mixture of relief and confusion.

"I'm home," he said, bewildered. "This is _my_ Hyrule. I thought I wasn't going to be seeing this again until we fixed the universe?"

"It could be that the connections between times are more linear than we thought," Vio offered. "Or maybe the goddesses are streamlining our destinations. You never know."

"Yeah..." Sketch stared up at his house with a conflicted expression. "Hey, um... do we have time for me to, you know, take care of my villain real quick...?"

"Are you sure he'll be there?" Steam asked. "It seems like everyone's villain up and vanished right when these holes popped up."

Sketch frowned. "Okay, new question. Do we have time for me to go and _check_ if I should take care of my villain real quick?"

Nobody answered for a moment. Then Dusk cleared his throat and said, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I've been under the impression that the universe is ending."

"More or less," Vio agreed.

"So, is there any point in saving one period of Hyrule when _all_ periods of Hyrule will be obliterated?"

Sketch grimaced. "...Good point. It just... it rubs me the wrong way, to just up and go somewhere else and leave this job unfinished."

"Tell me about it," Steam growled in agreement, eliciting nods from everyone else. "You're not the only one who had to leave their country undefended from a possible threat."

"All the more reason why we should take care of _this_ threat as soon as possible," Dusk stated. "Now, any ideas on where we go from here?"

"Normally we just find the local Link and recruit him," Green remembered. "But since we kinda already did that..."

"No need to thank me," Sketch grinned.

"...I guess we should just hop back through the hole and see where we go next?" Green finished questioningly.

"Won't we end up back at the beach though?" Realm asked.

"Actually, that's been proving to be extremely unlikely," Vio answered. "These holes don't appear to follow any of the laws of physics. If they did, then we-" he gestured to his three brothers, "-and Steam should have ended back in our Hyrule the first time we jumped through. But we landed in Realm's time instead. As far as I can tell, we end up wherever we need to be next. I'm suspecting divine intervention, but 'temporal shenanigans' are also in the running as a viable explanation."

He received more than a few stares at that.

"...So what you're saying is," Blue said slowly, "the goddesses are the ones doing the steering."

Vio sighed. "That's putting it a bit bluntly, but yes. Something or someone else is determining our destination."

"...So, the author."

It took approximately six seconds for Vio to execute a flying tackle directly at Blue's stomach, following closely by Red who took the much more moderate approach of swatting Blue in the shoulder with his hat.

"...Ow," Blue wheezed.

"I did warn you about breaking things," Vio replied.

"I didn't think you were serious..."

"What just happened?" Sketch asked, sounding quite lost.

"I have no idea," Wind replied, equally lost.

Dusk sighed, then stuck his fingers in his mouth and wolf-whistled to reclaim everyone's attention. Then he fidgeted a little, because he was now the central focus and he didn't have very much experience with that. "So, back through the hole then?"

Everyone gave a general agreement and started filing back through the hole.

* * *

Link looked up at what used to be a perfectly functional Black Tower and tilted his head exactly thirty-six-point-two-four-two degrees to the left in confusion. He looked to his left and found a tumbleweed, then looked to his right and found two more tumbleweeds. Then he checked behind himself just to make sure nobody else was around and found a lack of both people _and_ tumbleweeds.

"...Weird," Link decided, and stared up at the former Black Tower again.

There was a large colorless void hovering asymmetrically at the middle of the Tower, happily eating away at the stonework of said Tower and growing ever larger in the process. Despite having been all over the continent and rarely, if ever, being surprised by anything anymore, Link had to admit that this was something he hadn't seen before. Therefore, the only logical explanation was that someone was pranking him.

The only problem was that the only things around were tumbleweeds. Link knew he was a bit odd in the head sometimes, but even he could admit that tumbleweeds did not roll around pulling practical jokes on random passerby.

He stared up at the Tower and the hole eating the Tower. This was... new.

This was _new. _Link just about exploded with sheer happiness upon realizing this fact. He hadn't come across anything new in _ages._

And now he had a whole _bunch_ of new stuff to mess with!

"Oh, this is gonna be fun," Link grinned, and plopped down on the ground to sort through his stuff. The first thing to do was to get a closer look, and for that he needed his Hookshot. He'd accumulated a lot of random junk over the course of his adventures, and finding what he needed nowadays usually took a couple moments.

He had only just pulled out the desired item with a triumphant flourish when a violet-colored humanoid materialized from within the hole and promptly fell about thirteen feet to land haphazardly on the ground mere inches from Link's position. The Hero stared at the new arrival for a moment before beaming in delight. All _sorts_ of new things were happening today!

The humanoid let out a groan and slowly sat up, which let Link see that it was a small blond boy wearing an entirely violet outfit. This kick-started Link's protective Hero instincts, because he hadn't spent all that time saving all those countries for nothing and falling a dozen feet onto hard earth wasn't the best idea for one's health.

"Yeh, lagtrih-oyu?" Link asked, putting away his Hookshot and pulling out a Red Potion instead.

The boy blinked and frowned in confusion. After a moment, so did Link. He _was_ in Labrynna, right? So this boy should be native Labrynnian, right? Link quickly ran over his question in his head to make sure he hadn't mixed up the present and future tenses again. Upon discovering that he hadn't, his confused frown deepened. Maaaybe he was actually in Holodrum and hadn't realized... but that would mean that he had been walking in the wrong direction this entire time. Link began cursing the Windfish inside his head for the umpteenth time that day.

"Uh," the violet boy started, "...neffy, um, ie?"

So he _was_ in Labrynna! Link beamed and mentally apologized to the Windfish, then thought better of it and focused his attention on the blond boy instead. For a native Labrynnian, he had _terrible _pronunciation.

"Letlencex!" Link said emphatically. "Yeh, nowk-oyu dolun ont fi veah-oyu ae siscooncun?"

The boy furrowed his eyebrows and mouthed several of Link's words to himself, then tentatively opened his mouth to answer – but then another boy in blue abruptly landed on top of him, followed rapidly by about six more boys in green and one in red.

"...Ow," the violet boy wheezed from the bottom of the pile he was now stuck under.

"What the heck!" one of the green boys exclaimed. "Why is the hole in the middle of the air!?"

"Beats me," the boy in blue groaned. "I can't feel my feet..."

The rest of the pile began trying to un-pile themselves, which let Link simply stare and grin uncontrollably at his good fortune. This was turning out to be the most interesting day he'd had in _weeks!_

"You know, purple boy," Link said, crouching down to meet said purple boy's eyes, "you really should have told me you were Hyrulean from the get-go. Now I have to apologize for calling your pronunciation terrible."

"Just a minute," the violet boy gasped, and pounded weakly on the blue boy right above him. "Blue, I can't breathe."

"Well I can't move, Realm's on top of me."

Link grinned. "Let me help you out with that." He stood up and gave the pile-up a fierce scrutiny – then he reached out and, very precisely, poked his index finger right between someone's arm and someone else's leg.

The entire pile toppled.

"And they said paying full price for that trick was a mistake," Link said in a satisfied tone of voice.

"Who's 'they'?" One of the boys in green asked.

"Oh, They's a close relative of Them," Link replied. "Nice family. Bit hard to tell apart though. What brings Hyruleans to Labrynna?"

The boy in purple made a noise of realization. "So _that's_ what you were speaking! I knew I recognized it somehow, I just couldn't remember what it was!"

"Yeah, your accent needs work," Link informed him. "And your diction. And your pronunciation. And probably almost everything else."

"I guess a native would know best," the violet boy agreed.

Link burst out laughing. "Who, me? Native? Oh, no no no no no. I'm Hyrulean like the rest of you. I just picked up the language."

"Then why did you talk to me in Labrynnian?"

"Because I assumed _you_ were Labrynnian. We're _in_ Labrynna. Unless we're in Holodrum. But I'm pretty sure we're in Labrynna, because otherwise there would be a lot more tiny people in cloaks. You haven't seen any tiny people in cloaks, have you?"

One of the boys in green raised an eyebrow. "Are you sane?"

Link shrugged. "Maybe. Depends on if I think insanity would be more fun at the time."

"Ooookay."

Link ignored the awkward pause with the skill born of being someone who simply does not care and said, "So, I repeat my earlier question. What brings Hyruleans – other than me – to Labrynna?"

"We're trying to save the universe and our dimensional transportation dropped us here," the boy in red chirped.

Link beamed. "Ooh, saving the universe? Heck yes, count me in."

The tallest boy in green did a double take – and so did everyone else. "Sorry, what?"

"Count me in," Link repeated. "I've been _so_ _bored_ lately you wouldn't believe it! Save a country, get a bit of wanderlust. Save another country, get a little stir-crazy. Save _another_ country, buy a boat and go exploring just for something to _do. _Save a _dream_ country... and now nothing really surprises me anymore. You guys have _no_ idea how stoked I am that you showed up, because this is literally the most exciting thing that's happened to me in _weeks. _So count me in, sign me up, do whatever! I don't care, I'm just coming for the ride."

"...Weird question," one of the shorter boys in green began, "but is your name Link, by any chance?"

If possible, Link's beam grew even wider. "_And_ you're psychic! Oh, this day just gets better and better."

"Nobody's psychic," the green boy replied wryly. "We just all happen to also be Link."

"...Cool," Link decided. "How's that work? No, wait, lemme guess. I'm gonna say... different dimensions and/or times adjacent to each other within our known universe which is currently being threatened by reality-devouring voids that for some reason function as portals for your specific group and that lets you hop from one time period or dimension to the next collecting all the different incarnations of yourselves to eventually find the source of the problem and kick it's butt with the collective power of all your versions combined?"

"...How did you do that?"

"Oh, I was just guessing. If I was wrong about that one, my next guess was going to be Cuccos."

"Okay, _why_ would Cuccos be-"

"Oh, they'd find a way," Link said darkly, his face suddenly cast in shadow despite the fact that the sun was shining cheerfully enough to make a pessimist cringe. "The Cuccos _always_ find a way..."

"...Are you _sure_ you're sane?"

"Not a clue. Now! How do we do this, is there a numbering system or whatever?"

The violet boy raised an eyebrow. "A numbering system for...?"

"Well, we can't _all_ be Link, that would be impossibly confusing," Link said. "So, who's Number One and how many Rupees do I have to pay you in order to be the new Number One?"

"How many Rupees do you have?"

"Blue!"

"What, it was a valid question!"

"Nobody's Number One, we all have nicknames," one of the other green boys said. "Speaking of which, I'm Steam."

Link nodded. "Gotcha. What about the rest of you?"

Everyone quickly introduced themselves, some of which gave Link a good snicker. Named for their clothing, really? Link wished he'd thought of that, there were some fantastic possibilities for pranks and confusion.

"So that's us," Dusk said. "What about you?"

Link grinned. "Glad you asked. I'm Link, Hero of Legend, and single-handedly responsible for saving Hyrule, Labrynna, Holodrum, Subrosia, and a flying whale, but not necessarily in that order. I'm multilingual and if any of you know a language I haven't heard of, I immediately request lessons."

"So _that's _why you've got an accent," Wind snapped his fingers. "You said you were Hyrulean, but you talk like a foreigner. It was a little confusing."

"Oh, I can drop that," Link said, abruptly sounding entirely Hyrulean. "I can also adopt a different one, if you'd prefer. Labrynnian just happens to have _really_ nice vowel acoustics."

Wind blinked. "Uh... no, however you want to talk is fine."

"Nice of you," Link said, suddenly with an accent again. "Funny thing, I don't actually have a default pronunciation anymore – I think I put so much effort into other languages that I just integrated all of them. Nowadays I just pick whichever one I feel like at the time. Say, when do I get a nickname?"

"Are you always this... random?" Green asked.

"Eh, depends on my mood. Seriously though, nickname? Don't leave me out of the party."

"Finally, someone who appreciates my nicknames!" Red enthused. "Okay, you said your title was the Hero of Legend?"

"That's me!" Link beamed.

"Vio, words that mean legend please!"

Vio sighed. "You know, you really ought to try a thesaurus."

Red frowned. "I don't think that's a very good nickname. Are there any others?"

"No, Red, a thesaurus is a list of – actually, never mind," Vio let out another sigh, then thought for a moment. " Myth, fable, lore, saga, story, epic, tale, fiction, fantasy, anecdote, ballad... should I keep going?"

"I liked Lore," Link put in. "Can I use it?"

"Absolutely!" Red beamed.

"Awesome," Lore declared.

"Quick question," Realm said. "Why exactly _are_ you so okay with all this? I think you're the only one who hasn't freaked out when we explained all this to you."

"Well," Lore said, "that is a very long and complicated story and it starts about six years ago back before I stopped caring about my sanity. See, I had this dream one night where Princess Zelda spoke to me through telepathic transmission and told me she was being held captive in the Castle dungeons and needed to be rescued. I assume she was going for someone a bit more experienced than a ten-year-old, but then again I _did_ get the job done so what do I know."

Sketch and Wind exchanged glances, then promptly sat down as this seemed like a story with a long haul.

"Now, I knew that wasn't normal, so I woke up my uncle and asked him about it. He decided that Hyrule Castle was in danger and went out to see what the problem was, and naturally I went against all natural instinct and instruction and followed him. Good thing I did, because he'd gone and tripped and stabbed himself in the foot because he forgot to bring a torch and didn't see the rock until it was too late. He gave me his weapon, told me to go save the Princess, and passed out from blood loss."

"Is he okay?" Green asked.

"Oh, he's fine, he just has this weird overly-dramatic hero complex. Granted, I haven't seen him since I bought a boat and ended up saving a flying whale, but last I checked he just has a bit of a sore ankle on rainy days. Where was I?"

"Your uncle passed out," Realm supplied.

"Oh yeah. Basically I dragged him out of the way so people wouldn't step on him and then I bumbled my way into the Castle dungeon. Zelda really should have provided a mental map or something, because I would have gotten to her so much faster if I'd known where I was going."

"I hear that," Realm said. "So it took you about a week, then?"

Lore blinked. "Say what?"

"He's not exactly normal, we'll tell you about it later," Dusk said quickly. "You were saying?"

"I look forward to that conversation," Lore grinned. "Anyways, I rescued Zelda and then we escaped by mucking our way through a sewer system – she wasn't a big fan of that, but then again it smelled _awful_ so neither was I..."

* * *

Much to the dismay of the villains inside his head, Demise had discovered a solution to the bagpipes. He simply imagined that bagpipes didn't exist. And just to make sure that nothing else would happen, he also imagined that _no _musical instrument existed.

Because the villains were a rather unimaginative bunch, it did not occur to them that there were plenty of other objects they could use that made obnoxious noises. If it had, then they would have conjured airhorns.

But it didn't, and so the villains were all having a meeting as to what to annoy Demise with next.

_We could try interpretive dance,_ Veran suggested.

_First of all_, Ocean Ganondorf growled, _we cannot be seen, only heard. Second of all, I do not dance. And third, I am not sure that most of us even know how._

_Well that would have been the point,_ Veran sniffed. _Our dancing would have been so horrible as to make his eyes bleed rather than his ears._

_Okay, there is no point in doing that because, as Ocean Ganondorf said, we can't be seen,_ Malladus pointed out. _What if we try bad puns instead?_

_...Does anyone here even have a sense of humor?_

_I personally find burning people alive to be rather amusing,_ Majora volunteered. _Shall I demonstrate?_

_I don't really think that's necessary,_ Onox said.

_...If you insist._

There was a collective sigh of relief.

_We could try singing,_ Original Ganon suggested. _I have a terrible voice._

_I know a song that never ends,_ Picori Vaati offered. _We could start now and see how far we can get before we pass out._

"Don't you _dare_," Demise snarled.

_That sounds promising,_ Twilight Ganondorf mused. _How does it go?_

_It just repeats over and over, you'll pick it up soon enough. _The sound of someone clearing their throat echoed through Demise's head.

_This is the song that never ends; it just goes on and on my friends. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was; and they'll continue singing it forever just because: This is the song that never ends-_

"May the goddesses find me and smite me now," Demise groaned.

* * *

**So... hi. I'm back.**

**At the risk of dating myself... I am officially out of schooling to take. This is why I took a two-month break from updating; finals combined with my senior project combined with graduation equaled one very very ****_very_**** stressed-out Changeling. The worst part was probably that writing is my stress relief and I didn't even have time for ****_that!_**

**Anyways! Lore's back, everybody! I have missed writing this guy ****_so_**** much. You all literally have no idea how many times I've accidentally put him into conversations that he has no business being in. **

**Let's see... I think Ocarina and Mask are next. That should be fun.**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Labrynnian Translations**

**Yeh, lagtrih-oyu? (Hey, you alright?)**

**Uh... neffy, um, ie? (Uh... I, um, fine?)(Basically, Vio has really bad pronunciation and forgot the possessive. What he wanted to say was 'Nefi-Ai ma', or 'I am fine'.)**

**Letlencex! Yeh, nowk-oyu dolun ont fi veah-oyu ae siscooncun? (Excellent! Hey, you wouldn't know if you have a concussion?)**

* * *

**Thanks to KaineParker, matthewjaguilar12, and YueHamachi for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**jakeroo123:Yes. Yes it is.**

**XzDaFelixZ: Well, I went and looked at the game dialogue and all it told me was that Link had "come of age". I took that to mean he became a teenager. And yeah I remember his face... which I interpreted to mean he was opinionated about clothes. Hence the "Who are you, and why have you got my fashion sense?" line. The idea of a fashionable Link was too good to pass up.**

**LuckyLugia: 'Chibi-sama' will be showing up... oh, sometime soon. I'd daresay within the next five to ten chapters, easily. But he will be operating under a different name. And yes, I believe I might be slightly insane. However, I'm of the opinion that since I've acknowledged this fact, I don't need to be concerned. No, I've not read the Seven Swords saga. Maybe I should go check it out... And actually, yes that is already planned. Your guessing skills are surprisingly good... *stares suspiciously***

**KnownForHardlyNothing: Yes. Yes I do. It's quite enjoyable to throw them in heaps like that. Plus the argumentative dialogue comes so easily.**

**Guest: At this point, most of the Links are just too used to being surprised to be surprised about having a sister. They were more concerned about her apparent kidnapping. I will keep this in mind though... clearly I need to do a better job at making them freak out. Can't have my readers being disappointed on me. Thanks for the input!**


	13. The Two Who Are Supposed to be One

**(...This is getting ridiculous.)**

**I do not, nor will I ever, own Mighty the Armadillo.**

**(I think I need protective measures. Possibly explosives. Or maybe I should just hire a Minecraft Creeper. After all, if he explodes then I don't have to pay him.)**

* * *

Din tapped her chin. "So that takes care of... Lore, they called him?"

"Yes, he's taken care of," Farore agreed. "How's Nayru?"

"Fine..." Nayru called from her horizontal position. "Just really, really dizzy..."

"It's when stuff like this happens that I thank myself for not taking charge of time," Din said sympathetically. "You sure you're okay?"

"I'm certainly getting there," Nayru replied. "I just got caught off-guard. It won't be happening again."

"Let's hope not," Farore agreed. "Think you can join us on Courage Watch soon? Things are either getting interesting or getting close to breaking the Universe and I'd like to know which it is."

"Let me look," Nayru said, pulling herself into a sitting position and peering through the reality window. "Okay... oh, we're good. It's just getting interesting. Out of curiosity, how long has Lore been talking?"

"At least a couple hours. He's almost done detailing that mess with the island that doesn't exist."

"Good riddance too," Din said huffily. "Honestly, the nerve of some deities, making their own land without asking me first..."

Nayru tilted her head. "Wasn't he asleep at the time? Can you really hold someone responsible if they didn't know they were doing it?"

"Just watch me."

"I don't quite think that's how it works..."

* * *

"-and after I finished cursing out the Windfish, I started swimming in a half-randomly chosen direction and was very, very bored for a very, very long time. Then I hit land, went to sleep, woke up, started walking, and was very, very bored for a very, very long time again. Then I found the Tower along with this hole, and then you all fell out of the hole and we started getting acquainted. After that I got a nickname, then Realm asked me about my life story and I started telling you all about how Princess Zelda sent me a telepathic message in the middle of the night-"

"We know that part, you don't need to tell it again," Blue interrupted.

Lore pouted. "Killjoy. I was _this close_ to establishing a full story loop too... Anyways! That's me in a contradictory nutshell. What do we do now?"

"Previous experience says we climb back through the hole and see where we end up next," Dusk informed him. Lore eyed him, then the hole, which was now twelve feet off the ground rather than thirteen due to having grown a bit.

"So one of you can fly, then?" he asked curiously. "I don't know if you've all noticed, but we Links are a bit vertically challenged and that hole is _way _far out of our reach range."

"Hookshot," Dusk said, holding said item up in demonstration.

"That'll work," Lore agreed. He tilted his head, then asked, "So are you the leader then?"

Dusk blinked. "I... sorry, what?"

"You seem to be the one with the best grasp of what's happening," Lore said. "Or you just take everything in stride. Possibly both." He paused. "Then again I could be reading this completely wrong and your leader is actually Realm."

"It's definitely not Realm," Blue snorted. "He can't keep his bearings to save his life. He could get lost in a hallway."

"...That's actually happened before," Realm said sheepishly. This statement was met with a loud smacking noise as the more easily irritated of the Links facepalmed themselves.

"Of course it has," Sketch groaned.

"I'm not the leader," Dusk said firmly. "I'm about as far from being a leader as you can get."

"You're not?" Sketch repeated, surprised. "Din, I totally thought you were the one in charge." He turned to Wind and said, "Didn't you think he was the leader?"

"I definitely thought he was the responsible one," Wind agreed.

Lore frowned. "What then, is Green the leader? I'll be honest, I thought he had his hands full with just his three immediate siblings."

"I do," Green replied. "Trust me, the last thing I want is to be in charge of _more_ people. It's not me."

"Technically," Dusk said, "we don't _have_ a leader. We just kind of wander along and take majority votes."

"That won't work," Lore said, shaking his head. "We're gonna need a leader. The bigger this group gets, the more we're gonna need a governing structure of some sort. And you _do_ seem like a competent candidate."

Dusk stared at him. "Okay, two things. First, I'm not leader material. My pack function is Beta, not Alpha, and my Alpha isn't even here right now so there's really no point in arguing about it."

Lore raised a finger questioningly and Dusk said, "I'll explain later. Second – did you just say something _logical?"_

Lore grinned and shrugged. "I never said I don't pay attention. Now what's this about your Alpha being AWOL?"

"Here we go again," Steam grunted, and made his way over to Sketch as Dusk began telling his story for the third time. "We're gonna be here awhile. Wanna pass the time by helping me with that self-sustaining lantern idea?"

"Sounds fun," Sketch agreed. "I actually had some ideas about that involving the holder for the wick – if you're incorporating flint into the design, I think I might be able to adjust the shape to allow for a greater increase in the output..."

The two Links trailed off into metalwork jargon while the remainder of the group blinked in confusion.

"I'm not the only one who's missing about half of their conversation, right?" Realm asked.

"I'm following it," Vio said, shrugging.

"Of course you are," Blue sighed.

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"You're just such a bookworm that it figures that you'd know."

"There's nothing wrong with being a bookworm," Vio argued.

Blue smirked. "I never said there was."

"Your tone implied otherwise-"

"Seriously!" Green broke in. "Knock it off, you two!"

Wind started snickering "Just like me and Aryll," he observed with a grin.

"Siblings are fun," Red agreed, giggling.

* * *

_-song that never ends; it just goes on and on my friends. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was; and they'll continue-_

"I will imagine muzzles on each and every one of you," Demise snarled.

_-singing it forever just because: This is the song that never ends; it just goes on and on-_

"Muzzles with two-inch thorns placed just so they'll tear into your lips every time you move your mouth to sing that infernal song," Demise continued darkly. "And the thorns will be made of acid."

_-my friends. Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was; and they'll continue singing it forever just because: This is the song that-_

"Fluorosulfuric acid," Demise elaborated. "Which will eat through the muzzle in little over two minutes and then go to work on the very delicate, very fragile skin that makes up your face. It will be very painful and I will highly enjoy listening to your screams."

_-never ends; it just goes on and on my friends. Some people started singing it, not-_

"But I will be merciful," Demise said, "and will grant you pardon from this fate if you would just SHUT UP."

_-knowing what it was; and they'll continue singing it forever just because: This is the song that never ends-_

"So be it," Demise said silkily. "Majora, take notes. This is how a _professional_ inflicts burn damage."

_I'm sorry, did you say something?_ Majora asked over the unending chorus in the background.

_-it just goes on and on my friends. Some people-_

"Take notes," Demise repeated. "I think you'll appreciate this."

_Bake coats?_ Majora repeated. _Why would I do that? Coats make for terrible fuel, not to mention that they burn out almost instantly and never retain a flame for more than twenty minutes at the most. _

_-started singing it not knowing what it was; and they'll continue singing it forever just because: This-_

"Who said anything about coats?" Demise snapped.

_There is no such thing as cat boats,_ Majora said. _Good news everyone, I believe we are whittling down his sanity. _

_-is the song that never ends,_ went the chorus in the background, now with much more enthusiasm. _It just goes on and on my friends-_

"DO NONE OF YOU CARE ABOUT MUZZLES WITH FLUOROSULFERIC ACID?!" Demise roared.

_-Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was; and-_

"Oh, I'm going to enjoy this," Demise growled, and promptly manifested the fluorosulferic acid muzzles on everything in his head that had a mouth.

All it really seemed to do, though, was augment the already-infuriating song with timely screaming.

* * *

"-so I decided to start searching for Bellum on my own because I still had the King even though he wasn't alive anymore and ended up finding Sketch on an island... and from there it all just sorta snowballed," Wind finished. "Am I the last one?"

"Yes," Sketch called.

"Good job," Lore said, clapping. "You all just managed to pack six-plus adventures into less than six hours. That is impressive."

"We've had a bit of practice by this point," Realm admitted. "I think a couple of us have told their stories about... three times by this point?"

"Four," Vio corrected.

"Four times," Realm agreed. "I'm a little confused though... are you sure you told your story right?"

"Eighty-six-and-a-half percent sure, why?" Lore asked.

"You mentioned a sentient blue bear with wings?"

Lore tilted his head, then reached into his bag and pulled out a pair of half-moon librarian glasses, which he then stuck on his face and pulled halfway down his nose to look at Realm over the tops of them. "You can get lost in a hallway," Lore pointed out. "Dusk turns into a wolf, Sketch turns into artwork, Wind can control the weather, Steam can see dead people-"

"Zelda was never dead!" Steam protested.

Lore turned his over-the-glasses look on Steam for a moment. "Shush, I'm making a point here," he said, then looked back to Realm and continued, "Steam can see dead people and four of you used to be one person. Does the blue winged flying bear sound so absurd compared to all that?"

"...Okay, point taken," Realm admitted. Lore grinned and immediately stuffed the glasses back into his bag.

"Where did you get those?" Red asked curiously.

"Oh, it's bigger on the inside," Lore said, pointing to his bag as though that explained everything. "And on a completely unrelated note: now what?"

"Well," Dusk said, "unless you've got something you vitally need to do before heading off to save the Universe, you're going to Hookshot up to the hole with us and see where it goes."

"Good thing I have absolutely nothing that I vitally need to do," Lore grinned. "After you. Leader's privilege and all."

Dusk grimaced. "We've been through this already. I'm not the leader."

"Well if you're not, and nobody else is, does that mean the position is open?" Lore asked. "And can I apply?"

"...Are you sure you _want_ the position?" Steam checked. "I'm almost positive we're cultivating our own brand of insanity and that _can't_ be easy to deal with."

"Well then, it's a good thing I already lost my sanity ages ago," Lore said emphatically. "Who better to lead the bunch of crazies than the craziest in the bunch?"

"Not all of us are crazy," Green objected. "Some of us are just really exhausted and go along with the weirdness because it takes less effort that way."

"Tell me about it," Vio grumbled, and threw Blue a pointed stare, which Blue completely missed much to Green's eternal gratitude.

"Eh, my point still stands," Lore decided. "Can I get a test run, at least?"

There was silence for a moment as everyone considered that. Then Realm shrugged.

"I can get behind a test run," he said. "If it doesn't work we can always make Dusk the unofficially unspoken leader again."

Dusk blinked in confusion, but everyone else seemed to agree with that idea without much issue.

"Excellent," Lore beamed. "I'm officially LiT!"

"...What?" Blue said.

"Leader in Testing," Lore explained. "And for my first leadershippy order in my test run, I say we should all head through the hole and see where it takes us!"

"Problem," Steam said, raising a hand. "I don't own a Hookshot. I've got a Whip, but there's nothing to latch to between here and the hole, so..."

"Hitch a ride with Dusk," Lore decided. "Does anyone else have issues?"

Red, Green, Vio, Blue, and Realm all raised their hands. Lore blinked at them.

"And you couldn't have mentioned this earlier?" he said teasingly. "Okay. I've got a couple extra hookshots I can pass around, so Steam can hitch a ride with Realm and make sure he doesn't lose my stuff, and... Blue can give his siblings a ride?"

Blue frowned for a minute as he thought that over, then turned to Green and said, "You remember that Power Bracelet that I'm only allowed to use when absolutely necessary?"

Green sighed, then dug out said bracelet from his bag and held it out to his sibling with a resigned look on his face. Blue snapped the trinket onto his wrist, then gave Lore a grin and said, "I can absolutely give my siblings a ride."

"Ooh, my first leadershippy order is a success!" Lore enthused, handing his two extra Hookshots out to his designated Links. "Let's see if my second leadershippy order follows the trend. Everyone, let's go!"

He held his arm out and fired his Hookshot, but he didn't actually turn his head to see where he was aiming. Instead, he just grinned at his newly established underlings until the item snagged on something and pulled him into the hole. It was both impressive and ever so slightly concerning.

"Well," Sketch said," at least this won't be boring with him around."

* * *

"And they're on their way again," Farore noted. "Who should we have them meet up with next?"

"The Heroes of Time," Nayru said immediately. "The sooner those two get within a relatively stable sphere of influence the less likely they are to accidentally cause a universal collapse."

"Good point," Farore agreed. "Unless there's a different Hero that would benefit more. Din?"

"Well, the other set of Four Sword heroes seem to be in good position..."

* * *

There was an interesting fact about sacred swords that nobody except the swords themselves knew – and of course, the swords weren't telling, so how could anyone figure it out in the first place?

Basically, they were all rather snobby.

Of course, since all the sacred and divine weapons were, in fact, weapons, this little characteristic tended to come out in the sword's choice of wielder. The Master Sword was the most well-known for this; if you were considered unworthy, you were severely burned at best and outright killed at worst. To date, the Master Sword had only allowed exactly five people to wield it – and, given that those five people were actually the same people just reincarnated a bunch of times... well, you get the picture.

A similar case could be found in the wielders of the Four Sword – and not just because historians had a terrible debate over whether to count the wielders by the number of people they used to be versus the number of people they were while doing said wielding. When it came right down to it, the Four Sword had exactly three wielders.

One of them happened to be the one who 'built' it, more or less, but because the Four Sword was one of those weapons which needed to charge up in order to get the full effect, the Hero of the Minish never experienced it in the way that his reincarnations would. As such, his 'wielder' status was a bit suspect, but because he'd been the one to make it work in the first place he was on the list simply for being the guy who did it before anyone else.

Of the two who actually used the Four Sword in all it's ability, there was Link, the Hero(es) of Light and the composite of Blue, Red, Vio, and Green; and Link, the Hero(es) of the Four Sword and the composite of a rather odd hive-mind construct known as the Four. They also, conveniently, happened to be the exact Hero(es) that Din was looking at.

The Four, unlike their counterparts who would come into existence some few centuries later, didn't exactly have separate personalities. Or... maybe they did, but it all got smushed because of the hive-mind. It was a difficult to tell, really, and so the Four had given up on that venture within the first week of drawing their swords.

Everything they did, they did in unison. They moved in unison, they talked in unison, they even thought in unison, most of the time. The Four were perfectly synchronized with each other, and when they weren't it usually ended with them all sprawled on the ground with headaches from the discordant feedback.

This happened very rarely, though, because it was deeply uncomfortable and none of the Four liked it, and so they went out of their way to make sure it didn't happen. Of course, having the hive-mind made it easy, but there was still the danger of a treacherously-placed pebble sitting innocently on a path just _waiting_ to trip one of them up.

The Pebble Incident, as it was later dubbed, was firmly filed under 'Never Mention Ever Again'.

The Four were aware, of course, that normal people didn't have the connection that they did, and that seeing four identical boys moving and speaking in complete unison might cause more harm than good in some cases. It had taken weeks of practice, but the Four _were_ able to ignore the hive-mind and act separately, if they needed to. The problem with that, aside from the mountain of slip-ups and accidental use of plural possessives in a singular setting, was that it felt wholly and utterly _wrong_. Almost _integrally_ wrong, as though the very core of their existence was being pulled apart.

It wasn't so much like one boy had been split into four boys, the Four decided later, but more like one boy had been split between four bodies. And while those bodies had a few differing traits between them – the red one, for example, was a bit more prone to giving strategic input to the hive-mind than the others – for the most part, all four of them thought the exact same thing. At the moment, they happened to be on their way to Vaati's Palace to rescue the kidnapped Princess Zelda, but curiously their thoughts didn't necessarily reflect this. In fact, the thing going through the Four's heads was about as far from Princess Zelda as it could get.

'_**Who's idea was it to make mountains so freaking high?' **_to be specific.

* * *

"...or they're on their way, at least," Din concluded, then tilted her head in confusion. "Huh. For some reason I feel like I've just been criticized."

"It's probably nothing," Farore dismissed. "What about the other two?"

"Well, the little guy keeps shrinking when I'm not looking and then I lose him," Din complained. "And the first Hero isn't near a hole at all so there's no real point in that. I would just direct the main group to pick the second Four Sword set up after we take care of the Heroes of Time."

"Sounds good," Farore agreed. "Speaking of which, I'd better go influence the Heroes of Time. If I learned anything from all my other aspects, it's that _none_ of them know how to recognize a divine prompting anymore..."

* * *

Ocarina poked his head into the Throne Room and frowned. He continued to frown for about twenty seconds, then pulled his head out and gave his older-but-younger self a confused look.

"Correct me if the answer won't cause a universal collapse," he said. "I thought that I was supposed to be having a fight in this room, but there's nothing here. Did I take a wrong turn?"

Mask raised an eyebrow, then poked his own head into the Throne Room and spent about twenty seconds frowning at it.

"No, this is the room," he replied slowly. "Just... advance with caution. Lots of caution. Like, enough caution to make overkill look like it's not enough."

"I cannot possibly need that much caution," Ocarina argued. Mask raised his other eyebrow to join the first one.

"Wanna bet?"

"Not against you," Ocarina muttered, and poked his head into the Throne Room again. When nothing tried to decapitate him, he slowly moved until he was standing just inside the entrance and waited to see if he'd set off anything.

When nothing continued to happen, he relaxed his tense stance by a tiny amount and began advancing further into the room. Mask trailed behind him, looking markedly less worried than his counterpart if one ignored the small crease between his eyebrows as he glanced around.

"It shouldn't be this quiet," Mask muttered, which startled Ocarina for a second. "There should be an organ..."

"The instrument or the body part?" Ocarina asked. "Because I'll be honest, I'm hoping it's the instrument."

"He should be playing an organ," Mask said as if he hadn't heard the question. "Something's wrong."

Ocarina looked around, then sheathed the Master Sword on his back and stood up from his ready position. "Maybe you should have a look around, then. You've been here before, technically speaking, and you'd know better than me. If something's wrong, you're a lot more likely to know than I am."

"There's already at least four things wrong," Mask said, scowling. "There's _supposed_ to be an organ."

"Yeah, I got that, thanks. What about the other three?"

"Spoilers, spoilers, and... yeah, spoilers."

"How helpful."

"Glad you agree," Mask smirked. "_Someone_ has to keep the continuum in one piece."

There was a moment of silence, during which Mask continued to smirk and entirely expected his counterpart to sputter some retort about how annoying he was. However, when this summarily failed to happen, he glanced up at his (infuriatingly taller) older-but-younger self to see what the issue was.

Ocarina seemed to have been rendered entirely speechless. He worked his mouth for a few seconds before eventually managing to say, "Didn't we leave that back in Hyrule Field...?"

Mask frowned, followed his gaze, and promptly forgot about everything else. Sitting against the wall in a manner that had made it previously unnoticeable was a fairly sizable and utterly black, and extremely familiar hole.

"...What the heck!?" Mask sputtered. "Do these things migrate now!?"

"I'm going to take a guess that this _isn't_ supposed to be here?" Ocarina asked.

"This is _definitely_ not supposed to be here!"

Ocarina considered that for a moment, then looked at at his counterpart's face to gauge how serious this was. This immediately proved to be a mistake.

"Stop enjoying this!" Mask snapped as Ocarina tried and utterly failed to keep a straight face. Mask had been taking everything with a maximum of fifty-percent seriousness ever since he'd shown up, and Ocarina was dearly relishing seeing his future self look so flustered.

"Sorry, sorry," he said in a strangled sort of voice. "It's just – I never realized karma was so _funny."_

"Shut up and take notes for your turn," Mask retorted. "Seriously though! This is a problem!" He gestured wildly at the empty room with the hole in the wall. "There's supposed to be an organ!"

"Okay, why is an organ so important?"

"Because Ganondorf is supposed to be playing it!"

Ocarina blinked at the sudden information while Mask slapped his hand to his face. "I shouldn't have said that," he muttered. "Oh, I think I just took the timestream and strangled it."

"Bother the timestream," Ocarina interrupted. "You said Ganondorf was supposed to be here?"

"_Really_ shouldn't have said that..."

"Get over it, I think we've got a slightly bigger problem."

"Bigger than the strangling of the timestream? Do tell."

Ocarina stared. "Okay, are you _sure_ you're me? How can I see the bigger issue before me does?"

"I'm too old for this..."

"You're _twelve."_

"That is entirely irrelevant," Mask sniffed.

"Oh my _goddesses," _Ocarina groaned. "Look, if Ganondorf is supposed to be here but isn't, and this hole is here instead, and we saw a different hole literally erase a _Cucco_ from existence, then does that mean what I think it means?"

Mask paused. "...Yes," he said after a moment. "I think that means exactly what you think it means."

"...Is that good?"

"I don't _know."_

They both observed the hole for a minute as they attempted to process that fact that Ganondorf had apparently been eaten by it.

"Is it growing?" Ocarina asked after a while.

"Looks that way."

"...Great."

Mask sighed. "We're gonna need to fix this."

"I didn't even get done fixing the first mess though," Ocarina complained.

"_I_ didn't even get done fixing the second," Mask griped.

"About that-"

"No, I will not tell you how to fix the second."

"Dangit," Ocarina sighed. "One day I'll catch you in a slip-up, and it will be glorious."

"Keep telling yourself that," Mask replied, grinning despite the situation. "That aside, any ideas for this?"

Ocarina studied the hole. "Adventuring Rule Number One?"

"You think explosives will somehow make this better?"

"Could they somehow make this worse?" Ocarina countered.

Mask paused. "Point," he conceded. "Do you want to do the honors or should I?"

"Both of us at once," Ocarina said. "That way nobody gets denied an explosion."

"That would be such a shame," Mask agreed teasingly as they both pulled out bombs from their Adventure Bags and tossed them at the hole. This almost immediately went wrong in two distinct ways.

Firstly, the hole seemed to be entirely unaffected.

Secondly, and far more interestingly, there was now a ginger teenaged boy in the room with them. He was covered from head to toe in soot from the detonations, in addition to a few burn marks on his clothes and the tip of his hat which appeared to be slightly-on-fire.

"...Is this something that bombs do in the future?" Ocarina asked his counterpart in a quiet voice while the ginger teen blinked in confusion and quickly extinguished his hat.

"Of course not, what kind of a question is that?"

"A bewildered one," Ocarina replied, right before the new arrival locked on to their position.

"Did you just try to explode me?" he asked. "Did you actually just try to explode me? That's amazing! Well, either that or it's rude. Give me a minute, I need to run through all the cultures I'm aware of to see if you just insulted me or not." He abruptly began muttering gibberish to himself under his breath.

"I have no idea what's happening," Ocarina said.

"...sm'f om y'jr rb'rmy p'g sm rcok'pdobr, y'jr yjt'pert nidy..." the boy mumbled.

"Is he even speaking Hyrulean?" Mask wondered.

"Holodese, actually," the new arrival said abruptly. "And unfortunately for you, I've just been insulted according to their customs. Plug your ears."

"Plug our-"

"I HAVE BEEN _INSULTED_!" the ginger boy bellowed. "WHO WASTES PERFECTLY GOOD BOMBS ON LOWLY INTER-DIMENSIONAL TRAVELERS!? IT'S A TRAVESTY TO THE EXPLOSIVE!"

"What...?"

The teen stuck a smoky finger into Ocarina's face, since he was the taller of the two and thus a more visible target. "Do you have _no_ respect for the great and awesome awesomeness that is TNT? You don't just waste something like that on travelers! We're dusty, have no idea where we're going, and entirely liable to misplace your entire towel population."

"None of those words made sense in the way you put them together," Mask sputtered. The newcomer took absolutely no notice of him.

"Honestly, if you're going to use bombs, you need to use them right," he continued disapprovingly as though Mask hadn't even said anything. "Clearly, you have no idea how to do this, so I shall take it upon myself to educate you, poor little lost lambs that you are. Bombs, as we all know, are the greatest tool to have ever been bestowed upon mankind. As such, there are certain rules one must follow to appease the gunpowder gods in everyday use. Firstly! Always thank the explosive for it's noble sacrifice to your cause..."

The ginger teen proceeded to go off on a wildly confusing tangent, which neither Ocarina nor Mask followed in the slightest. At that point, though, the hole in the wall began ejecting multiple other teenaged boys as if it was perfectly normal.

"I _really_ have no idea what's happening," Ocarina repeated weakly, watching this. For a void that had previously devoured everything that came into contact with it, there were a startling amount of people using it as a doorway.

One of the new arrivals, a taller boy with fierce eyes and sandy-blond hair, gave them an apologetic smile before focusing on the ginger teen. "Does anybody know what he's doing?"

"Being himself," a brunet teen offered.

"AKA, scaring the locals," a shorter boy finished.

The tall one let out a sigh. "Right, I'll get it," he said, and proceeded to walk right up to the sooty ginger boy and smack him upside the head, which effectively cut off whatever the redhead had been saying about matchstick sacrifices in the meantime.

"Oi," the ginger boy complained. "I was on a roll!"

"You were making the locals question both your and their sanity," the other teen retorted. "I know you literally just joined up less than twenty-four hours ago, but there's times to be serious and I think this it one of them. So just, not now, okay?"

"...Killjoy."

The calmer one promptly flicked him in the forehead, eliciting an "Ow!" before turning to Mask and Ocarina and saying, "Sorry about that. He's new."

"...Okay," Ocarina said in the manner of someone who has just given up on making life make sense. "I'm just going to stop caring now.

"Good plan!" the ginger teen exclaimed. "Life's more fun that way. Are either of you Link, by any chance?"

Both Hero(es) of Time blinked in utter bewilderment. "...We both are," Mask said after a moment. "But how did you...?"

"You're wearing hats," the ginger boy said, as though that explained everything. "The only people I've ever met that wear hats are usually important in a way that's curiously relevant to whichever quest I'm currently on, and since I'm currently trying to meet more of me and save the Universe and you're wearing hats while I'm trying to do it, that means that you're probably me. Make sense?"

"No," Ocarina said.

"Perfect! So, I'm Link, Hero of Legend, but you can call me Lore for the sake of convenience and avoiding that awkward moment when someone has the same name as you and neither of you know which one is being addressed. This is Dusk, over there's Realm, those two are Wind and Sketch, Steam is next to Wind, and Green, Blue, Red, and Vio are the colored cluster in the back." The newly-introduced Lore grinned concerningly. "Welcome to the group! Please direct any questions, comments, concerns, and/or cries of anguish at Dusk until otherwise noted."

Dusk, who turned out to be the one with the fierce eyes, let out a sigh that sounded very-well used. "Why me?"

"Because you're much less likely to make said questions, comments, concerns, and/or cries of anguish worse," Lore responded without missing a beat. "Now then! You two new Links, make your way over to Red and tell him your Heroic Title and any special ability you may or may not have picked up over the course of your adventure, and be prepared to receive an awesome nickna-"

"Is this supposed to be impressive?" Mask interrupted.

He received confused and surprised stares from everyone else present, including his older-but-younger self. Mask met all the looks with a shrug, then continued, "Sorry, I just don't feel impressed. In fact, I'm pretty sure whatever effect you were going for just skipped me entirely."

"...This is new," Lore admitted. "You seem to be mildly immune to... well, me. How are you doing that?"

Mask shrugged again. "I've seen some weird stuff. Between the accidental time travel, getting engaged to a Zora, finding out my actual species, dealing with the Happy Mask Salesman, not to mention all the actual masks and the insanity that went with them, owning an instrument that literally warps physics, getting stuck in a three-day time loop, switching my species on whim, a doppelganger of me, countless doppelgangers of everyone else, an entire country I've never even heard of before, and the single most messed-up celestial body I've ever had the misfortune to see... well, at some point I think I just stopped being surprised."

"I hear that," Dusk agreed.

"I'm sorry, 'switching our species on whim'?" Ocarina repeated incredulously.

"Ah crap. Can I still say 'Spoilers' and get away with it?"

"No."

"Of course not." Mask let out a sigh, then turned to the group of apparent other Heroes and said, "Anyways, I'm Mask, and this is my older-but-younger self, Ocarina. We're the Hero of Time but from two different points in our life."

This statement was, surprisingly, not met with exclamations of shock and surprise. Instead, most of the other Links just nodded like they'd all heard similarly ridiculous things before and were used to it. The two exceptions were Sketch and Wind, who glanced at each other with expressions of, _'Is it weird that this is our new normal?'_

"I'm guessing, by the way you two talk," Realm said after a moment, "that Ocarina's actually the younger one? How's that work?"

"There was time travel involved," Ocarina replied. "A lot of time travel. It was very confusing. The simplest version is that, mentally, I'm about nine, more or less, but then the time travel happened and I ended up in my sixteen-year-old body because of Reasons."

"Then you have me," Mask explained, "who went through more time travel and then grew from there, making me physically twelve. But because of more Reasons, I'm mentally somewhere in the teens."

"...That is incredibly complicated," Steam said.

"That's time travel," Mask shrugged. "My personal theory is that if you don't have a headache, you're not thinking about it right."

"Ooh, that's good," Ocarina said suddenly, snatching a piece of parchment from his bag and scribbling something down on it. "I'm gonna use that."

"Go ahead," Mask replied with a look of extreme amusement.

"Did... did you just give yourself your own personal theory?" Vio questioned. He looked as though he had the beginnings of a headache, and Mask grinned at him.

"There you go, now you're getting it."

* * *

**EDITED ON 6/5/2017**

**Okay, I didn't exactly mean for this to take so long, but life has this absolutely fascinating way of making me think the stress is over and then slamming me with more stress from a completely different direction. Great feeling. Love it.**

**It occurred to me, as I rewrote this chapter, that Lore is beginning to take on qualities that sound suspiciously similar to the Doctor. I have no idea how this happened, but I'm gonna roll with it.**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Holodese Translations:**

**...sm'f om y'jr rb'rmy p'g sm rcok'pdobr, y'jr yjt'pert nidy... (...and in the event of an explosion, the thrower must...)**

* * *

**BrandonBGamer: Again, this is not a crossover fanfic. Incorporating Pokemon into this would require such a massive plot shift... I don't think I could pull that off without completely killing the story. Why not try to write it yourself? It is your idea, after all, and you would know your Link infinitely better than I would. Or if you don't want to do that, please wait to ask me again until this story is done.**

**XzDaFelixZ: Well, I can't guarantee how long it will be, but I refuse to let this story be anything but good (hopefully). So no worries.**


	14. Chapter 13

**(Okay. This time, I have dynamite. Regrettably nitro glycerin seems to be illegal... oh well. This time my disclaimer is protected!)**

***Minecraft creeper spontaneously explodes over the dynamite, creating a very loud ****_boom_**** and an awful lot of smoke***

**I do not, nor will I ever, own the Waddle Dees.**

**(...Why me?) *coughs out smoke***

* * *

"You mean this isn't the hole you came out of?" Vio asked incredulously.

"Nope," Mask said, popping his lips on the 'P'. "I came through a hole over by the forest."

"...That makes no sense," Vio muttered, massaging his forehead. His hallway theory had just been seriously compromised.

"It's a time-space warp thing," Ocarina pointed out. "I don't think they're supposed to make sense."

Vio shook his head slowly. "Reality is supposed to make sense. Everything is explainable through one solution or another."

"Okay," Sketch interrupted. "Explain your clones/brothers/counterparts then."

Vio frowned as he thought about that.

"And while you're at it," Sketch continued, "explain how Dusk turns into a wolf, or how I turn into a watercolor mural. Or how Lore turns into a rabbit-"

"One time!" Lore bellowed across from where he was conversing.

"Okay, how he _turned_ into a rabbit," Sketch amended. "Come to think of it, explain how any of this is even happening. You're going to tell me that everything you've been through so far has a perfectly logical explanation?"

"...No."

"Well then, the holes are just one more thing to add to the list," Sketch finished. Vio rolled his eyes, but a small smile worked its way onto his face.

"There we go," Sketch grinned. "Now let's fix a theory!"

"I think that theory is pretty much void at this point," Vio replied. "But there's no rule that says I can't make a new one."

"What about?" Ocarina asked.

"Well..." Vio ran a hand through his bangs and glanced at Sketch. "What were you doing when you went through your 'portal'?"

"Why does that matter?" Sketch asked, confused.

* * *

Meanwhile, Wind and Lore had persuaded Dusk to show them his wolf ability. The only problem was that Lore had asked to see the Curse Stone afterwards, and it turned out that Twili magic shared a whole lot of characteristics with the Dark World, and, well...

"I'll be honest, I kinda thought you were joking," Dusk said as he stared down at Lore. The Link-turned-rabbit rolled his eyes, and Dusk could almost hear the snappy comeback that he was sure Lore was thinking.

"Dude, is he pink?" Steam asked incredulously. Lore's nose twitched.

"I think it's more of a pastel blush," Blue said, squatting down to get a closer look. Lore promptly whacked him on the chin. Then he froze as he felt a small hand on his head.

"You're so fuzzy," Red giggled. Lore looked like he wanted to strangle something. Dusk groaned, then took another look and facepalmed as Blue joined his brother.

"Hey, you're right," he said. Lore, meanwhile, was practically vibrating as he tried not explode.

Dusk looked at Realm, who was somewhere between exasperation and amusement. "What did Lore say made him normal?" he asked.

Realm frowned for a moment. "I think he called it a Moon Pearl...?"

Dusk shrugged, then walked over to Lore and wedged himself in between the rabbit and the two other Links. Green took the opportunity to drag them both away, scolding all the while. Dusk could hear Blue loudly protesting as they left.

"Sorry about that," he said to Lore. The rabbit, looking distinctly ruffled, nodded slowly.

"The thing that changes you back, it's called a Moon Pearl, right?"

Lore nodded enthusiastically.

"Do you have one with you, by any chance?"

Another nod, followed by a pointing paw. Dusk followed the limb to Lore's bag, which had collapsed in a heap on the ground when Lore had changed. It was held shut by a clasp that a rabbit would have no hope of undoing.

"I'll get it," Wind said, having watched the entire spectacle in silent laughter but now feeling slightly sorry for his friend. He rummaged around in the bag for a moment, then pulled out a small red sphere with some purple swirling stuff in it. Lore made a fast-paced chattering noise when he saw it, and Wind smiled in satisfaction.

"Here we go," he said as he returned. He tossed the Pearl to Lore, who caught it in both his paws. There was a brief flash; and then Lore stood holding the Moon Pearl in his hands.

"How come nobody saw fit to do that sooner?" he complained.

"Because you were _adorable_," Steam informed him. "Rabbits are cute enough on their own, but _you_, dude, you're a _pink_ rabbit. That's on a whole other level."

For once, Lore didn't have a snappy comeback. He stuffed the Moon Pearl back into his bag, looking slightly bewildered as he did so, then turned as Vio yelled his name.

"Whatcha want?" He asked as the violet Link trotted over.

"What were you doing when you found your hole?" he questioned, mildly out of breath.

"I was trying to get back to Hyrule. Why?"

Vio muttered to himself for a minute, then asked another question. "Is the Black Tower important in any way?"

"Not anymore, no," Lore replied. "But when I went back in time, Veran was possessing the Queen and tried to take over the kingdom."

Vio's eyes widened in what appeared to be excitement. "And would she have been on, in, or around the Tower?"

"Well, yeah," Lore said. "I'm not sure if she ever actually left the thing."

"Excellent!" Vio exclaimed before running off and hollering, "Wind!" at the top of his lungs.

"What was that about?" Lore said.

"He thinks he's onto something," Mask explained as he walked up. "It sounded like he called it a 'connective villainous hallway'."

"Something along those lines, anyway," Ocarina added.

The group of Links watched Vio for a moment, conversing eagerly with Wind who looked both confused and concerned.

"I think he may be losing it," Realm said eventually, as Vio randomly gave Wind a hug and ran off shouting "Steam!"

"I'm not sure any of us ever had 'it' to begin with," Dusk replied.

* * *

The circumstances which had set the Four on their journey were actually rather odd. Vaati had been released from the Sword as the legends had told, but ironically hadn't recognized Zelda as the princess. It turned out that the entire reason Vaati had taken her was because she was _pretty_. Not because she was conveniently a very important hostage, or anything.

Then the Great Fairies had appeared, but instead of being helpful and sending the Four directly after Vaati and Zelda, they had sent them on a wild goose chase to prove themselves "courageous enough". Because trying to rescue their ruler from an evil demon totally wasn't courageous already. They volunteered, for crying out loud!

Of course, now Vaati wasn't there anymore, which made everything a bit pointless. The Four _would_ blame the fairies for taking so much time, but it was generally acknowledged that insulting a fairy, especially a Great Fairy, would lead to very painful death. They couldn't very well take it out on themselves, for obvious reasons, and taking it out on Princess Zelda was a bad idea for even more obvious reasons.

So now the Four, who were rather annoyed, were attempting (and failing) to have a normal conversation with Princess Zelda about the hole that Vaati had left behind. At an altar, ironically enough. Vaati had apparently had the bright idea of marrying Zelda.

"We-er, we mean, I- no that doesn't sound right..." muttered the blue member of the Four. They were trying to talk to Zelda without the group talk effect, but it wasn't going very well.

"Okay... We was worried- dangit!" the blue member cursed. "That doesn't sound right in a singular person sentence! But anything besides group tense sounds wrong..."

Zelda tried not to smile at this. While she admitted that the group effect was odd, watching her rescuer try to work around it was just _funny_.

The blue member of the Four turned to his other selves with a plaintive look on his face. "Help us-er, me?" he asked.

"**We want to say 'I'**," the other three told him. The blue member took a breath.

"Right... Princess Zelda?"

"Yes?" she said.

"Are you okay? ...I... was worried about you," he said carefully. Then he beamed at his success.

Zelda let out a small giggle. "If it's really that much of a problem, you can all talk together. I don't mind."

"**Oh, thanks**," the Four said as the blue member joined them. They let out a collective sigh of relief. Zelda watched in slight fascination, this being the first time she had ever seen the Four Sword in action.

"**Are you alright?**" the Four asked. Zelda nodded.

"Yes, I'm alright. Vaati never actually managed to do anything to me, he was too preoccupied with marriage. I kept sidetracking him with things like bridesmaids and catering. I also threw a fit when his tuxedo didn't match my dress." She smirked a bit before continuing. "It drove him crazy because he didn't even know what my wedding dress looked like, I wouldn't show him. It's bad luck, you know."

"**...Yeah**," the Four said.

"And I stalled him for about a week when I wanted a guest list and he said no. I locked myself in my room and didn't come out for days. Then there was the time when I wanted a florist to design my bouquet, and he gave me a moblin. That poor creature, I think I ended up giving it a flower phobia. Accidentally of course, I felt awful about it later. So yes, I'm fine. I hope you didn't go through too much trouble?"

"**No, all the time we spent traipsing around Hyrule trying to prove ourselves courageous enough was completely well-spent and not a waste of time in the slightest**," the Four assured her.

Zelda sighed. "Oh, did the Great Fairies put you up to that? I'm so sorry, they're rather protective of me. They wanted to make sure you were worthy."

"**That makes no sense**," the Four replied, confused. "**You were **_**kidnapped**_**. We would think that rescuing you would have been the first priority, not making sure the rescuer was qualified**."

Zelda shrugged. "Fairies work in mysterious ways. But I'll be sure to ask them about that when I see them, you're right about it not making sense. Shall we head back now?"

The Four looked at each other, then at Zelda. "**Will the hole be a problem?**"

Zelda turned and stared at said hole critically. "I don't think so, but... wait, is it growing?"

The Four, startled, took a closer look at the void where Vaati had been. Sure enough, it was bigger than it had been before. It was also louder. "**We think you're right**," they said. "**It looks bigger**."

The Princess pursed her lips in thought. "Looks like I'll be seeing the Great Fairies a lot sooner than I thought. We'll need them to help fix this."

"**What should we do?**" the Four asked.

"Can you stay here and keep an eye on this thing? I don't want to leave it alone, somebody could get hurt if they go too close."

The Four considered that for a second, then smiled in unison. It was a rather odd sight.

"**We can do that, Princess**."

"Good," Zelda returned the smile. "I'll be back in a bit. Thanks for coming to save me!"

With that, the Princess of Hyrule ran out of the Palace to find the Great Fairies. The Four watched her leave.

_'I think she was the first person who didn't freak out when we talked,'_ the green member commented to his other selves.

_'Don't you think one of us should have gone with her? For protection?'_ asked the red member.

_'Probably couldn't even if we tried,'_ the purple member replied. _'Remember the last time we thought that was a good idea?'_

There was a collective shudder as the memory was passed around.

_'Also, she knows where to find the Great Fairies. We don't,'_ the blue member reminded them. _'We're more of the hero type anyways.'_

_'Yes, I'm sure guarding a hole is very heroic,'_ the purple member snarked.

_'It _is_ a job that the Princess herself gave to us,'_ the green member said. _'We should be honored.'_

_'So, we're staying?'_ the red member asked. The rest of his counterparts all answered in the affirmative.

The entire exchange happened in the Four's collective mind and took about two seconds.

All in all, very odd indeed.

* * *

"So, basically what you're saying is that the villains we were supposed to be fighting are connected to the holes," Realm summarized. "Every single one of them. And it wasn't just a power that went wrong, it was an outside force. And it happened to every single one."

"Yep," Vio said.

"All of them?" Steam asked. "Malladus?"

"And Ganondorf and Zant?" Dusk added.

"My Ganondorf too? And Bellum?" Wind said.

"And my Ganon," Realm mused.

Sketch frowned. "Technically my Ganon is possessing Yuga, are you sure he counts?"

"_All_ of them," Vio emphasized. "That means our Vaati, and all of Lore's villains as well."

Lore groaned. "_Brilliant_. So my time has _three_ holes in it?"

"Onox, Veran, and Ganon?," Green said.

"Well, he was possessing this guy named Agahnim, but yeah."

"And this is why there's more than one hole?" Realm asked the purple Link.

Vio nodded. "What we've got here is each individual villain creating their own individual hole. Since we're moving through time and all, it's entirely possible that later times, like where my brothers and I come from, there's about ten or more holes eating away at reality."

"Then why haven't we seen them before?" Ocarina questioned.

"Because we never considered the fact that there was more than one," Vio replied. "You two, on the other hand, went looking for your Ganondorf and found his hole instead. I'm guessing that the hole Mask came through was left by Majora."

Mask frowned. "I was just trying to enter a Moon. I have no idea if I went through a hole or not."

"Wait a minute," Blue interrupted. "This means we have a lot more holes than we thought, all of which are destroying our home."

There was a startled silence as the other Links took in what Blue was saying. This... this meant Hyrule was in so much more danger than they had originally thought. Sure, the hole had been a problem, but it had been a manageable problem. But this... It was a disaster on a continental scale.

It was entirely possible that Hyrule would cease to exist.

"Right," Lore snapped. "We need to get down to business. No more sitting around being happy-go-lucky Links getting to know each other. Our home is in danger and that is _not okay_."

"Find the source as quick as we can?" Dusk asked.

"And punch it until it falls," Blue said with a grin.

"Maybe not _punch_ it, per se," Vio corrected. "More like take it down and make sure this never happens again."

"And we can pick up any other Links we meet on the way!" Red chipped in.

"I could live without," Steam muttered. "There's ten of us already and it's starting to get weirder than usual. And finding more us' will mean another hole to worry about besides."

"Yeah, but finding more of us means more people to punch the source," Blue said, still grinning.

"The possibilities of us actually being able to _punch_ the source are highly unlikely," Vio repeated, annoyed.

"Details," Blue replied with a wave of his hand. Green facepalmed.

"We're sidetracking again," Realm sighed.

"And we lasted for twelve whole seconds too," Lore agreed. Then he shook himself and said, "Back on track, boys. Through the hole. Move out!"

"What are we, your army?" Sketch grumbled.

"Well, we did kinda make him the leader," Wind pointed out sagely.

"Oh for the love of- move already!" Lore exclaimed. "Hryule's disappearing, we're fixing it, go go go!"

Sketch yelped as Lore grabbed his shoulders and pushed him bodily through the hole. The other Links stared.

"Aaaand they're gone," Dusk sighed. "Might as well follow."

He stepped through the hole with a resigned expression, followed by the rest. Then Steam paused for a second.

"Isn't it normally Blue's job to shove somebody through headfirst?"

Blue mock-gasped. "That two-timing thief!"

* * *

"I WILL KILL YOU ALL IF YOU WON'T _SHUT UP!_" Demise roared over the bagpipe music in his head. This, unfortunately, did absolutely nothing, except to earn him a derisive snicker from Majora.

"This is _my _body, and _my_ head," Demise snarled. "You _will_ respect me because I OWN YOU!"

There was an impertinent _blat_ from one of the louder bagpipes, as if the player was disagreeing with him. This was promptly followed by another insulting noise courtesy of Majora. Demise growled in fury. It was the last thing he wanted to do but...

"I would be..._ willing_... to possibly... negotiate terms with you... erm... _people._"

The bagpipe noises abruptly stopped and left near silence in Demise's head for the first time since he's cast the spell. _Near_ silence being because Bellum was making some very interesting bubble noises.

_Well of course he means you, you're a squid,_ Malladus replied. _You hardly count as humanoid, much less 'people'._

_Both of you, put a sock in it, _Twilight Ganondorf ordered. _Now... you mentioned negotiations?_

"I... would be willing to... _work_ with you on some... issues."

_Such as?_ Original Ganon asked.

"While it has been difficult, with all of the... distractions of late... I have still been keeping tabs on the Goddess' so-called Hero," Demise said. "Somehow he has finagled his way into meeting himself many times over and is currently attempting to discover the cause behind the holes that you have all inevitably left behind."

_And?_

"Sooner or later, they will find me," Demise continued. "And when they do, I intend to crush them with all the power I possess. And some of that power... though I loathe to admit it... belongs to you."

_While I am certainly pleased to hear you admit this,_ Majora said, _I am still uncertain as to what you are proposing._

"I am asking for... your..._help-_" Demise visibly shuddered at that word- "in destroying the Heroes."

_What do we get from it?_ Demon Vaati asked.

Demise smirked. "You get to obliterate your most hated enemy."

There was a sense of flurried discussion.

_Fortunately for you,_ Majora mused, _I am most keen to burn that accursed elfling no matter what the cost. I will accept your offer._

The rest of the villains murmured in agreement, and suddenly Demise's head was in complete agreement. He almost felt like breaking out in maniacal evil laughter. Almost.

If it weren't completely overrated and cliched, that is.

* * *

The Four were staring at ten more versions of themselves. The ten other versions of themselves were staring right back. In particular, there were four specific versions of themselves that looked eerily similar and yet completely different.

Similar in that they were almost identical in face, size, age, and color choice.

Different in that they weren't in sync. _At all_.

In the mind of the Four, this was both fascinating and terrifying.

"It's... us," said Blue in considerable surprise.

"This is so cool!" Red squealed.

Vio frowned. "It's not us _exactly_, but we're certainly very close. They're even a different set of Four Sword heroes. What are the odds of that?"

"So you're saying that these guys are... what, our ancestors?" Green asked.

"Not our ancestors. These are the guys from the Four Sword legend, the one we grew up with."

"So cool," Red repeated.

At this point, the Four decided they needed to ask some questions of their own.

"**How are you doing that?**"

"Whoa!" Blue yelped. Red leaped a couple feet into the air. Green's mouth dropped open and Vio blinked in shock.

"Can you guys do that?" Steam asked.

"Not that I'm aware of," Green managed.

The Four frowned simultaneously. "**Seriously, how are you doing that? We can barely manage having one person talking out of sync, much less all four of us.**"

"Er- well... it's never been a problem," Vio replied. "We've always been separate people from each other."

"**But... you're a Four Sword hero,**" the Four said, clearly confused.

"Yeah, but we've never done a simultaneous like you guys," Blue said. "I mean, maybe with a whole lot of practice, some low level ESP powers, and a near death experience, but not like that."

"Oh, oh, do you have a nickname?" Red asked eagerly.

"**Well... we just use 'the Four',**" the Four replied.

Red's face fell. "First Mask and Ocarina named themselves, and now you guys go and do it. Not cool..."

"**...What?**"

"He likes to give nicknames, just smile and apologize," Sketch stage-whispered. The Four smiled uncertainly at Red, who beamed in return and eagerly accepted the apology.

"Yes, hi, we're all Link, you're them, they're you, big happy family," Lore snarked. "Hyrule's in danger, trying to find the source, you're coming to help. Move move move!"

The Four stared. "**...Is he alright?**"

"I'll have you know I am perfectly fine, and mostly sane," Lore shot back.

"He got really serious a while back when Vio made a theory," Dusk explained. "I'm Dusk, by the way. The cranky one is Lore, he's kind of our leader. You already know Blue, Vio, Red, and Green-"

"**They are strange,**" the Four said.

"Yeah... oh, that's Steam and Wind over there," Dusk continued. The names Links waved with their names. "Next to them is Realm, he's the brunet. On the left is Sketch, he's the auburn one, and the two twin-ish guys behind him are Mask and Ocarina. They're the same person, but not. It makes sense as long as you don't think about it too much."

"**...Right.**"

"You should tell us your adventure!" Red cheered. "I wonder if it's any different from ours?"

"We don't have time for that," Lore groaned.

"We have to explain _some _stuff to them, or they're gonna think we're crazy," Steam said as he sat down in preparation for the story.

"Preeeetty sure we're already crazy," Sketch added as he joined the seating circle.

"We have an emergency of epic proportions!" Lore spluttered. "We need to- oh, who am I kidding," he said as he sat with a thump. "I haven't taken a nap in two days, I need a break."

"Leadership is stressful," Dusk said, nodding wisely.

"Like you would know, you led for all of six minutes," Realm snorted.

"It was a stressful six minutes!" Dusk protested.

The Four blinked (in unison) and hesitantly sat down with the other Links.

"**So... we should tell our adventure?**"

"That's the idea," Wind said cheerfully.

"**Okay...**" The Four said. They cleared their throats simultaneously and got started, in unison of course.

"**So basically what happened was that Vaati managed to break through his seal because it got weaker over time-**"

"Lousy spellcasting, I say," Blue said. "Our Vaati was firmly sealed until we... er... never mind, continue?"

"**Right... anyways, he kidnapped Princess Zelda because he thought she was pretty. Apparently in the past he had a thing for pretty girls, so that was kind of a continuity thing. Anyways, then some Great Fairies showed up, but instead of teleporting us to Vaati's Castle right away they said we had to go prove ourselves courageous enough.**"

"You drew the Four Sword during this, I assume?" Vio asked.

"**Yeah, we pulled it after Vaati took Zelda but before the Fairies showed up,**" the Four explained. "**So then we started walking, basically. We walked a **_**lot.**_"

"Join the club," Sketch grumbled. "I walked between dimensions, hieroglyphic style."

"**Without mangling yourself?**" the Four asked.

"That's what I said!" Wind cried. "It ought to be anatomically impossible."

"**That's for sure.**"

"Let's not discuss my anti-mangling properties please..." Sketch muttered.

"Yeah, we have a story to listen to," Lore yawned.

"**Oh, right. So first we went to the Sea of Trees-**"

"If it's made of trees, how is it an ocean?" Steam asked.

"**Don't insult the Fairy's Home!**" the Four exclaimed. "**They are **_**mean**_** when they're angry!**"

"Fairies are mean?" Wind asked.

"Dude, you don't mess with the Great Fairies," Mask said, shuddering.

"_Ever_," Ocarina added.

* * *

**AND I'M BACK!**

**Right on time too, by my time zone anyways. And here you all thought I was quitting ;)**

**Now, I'm pretty sure we should be moving right on schedule for at least a couple months. Well, except for when I go on vacation and have no access to wifi. But other than that, we should be good! Until next time,**

**Changeling**

**(If you see any typos, let me know!)**

* * *

**Thanks to ejr1999 for favoriting/following!**

**Guest: Yes, he is appearing. He just hasn't done so yet. Oh, but his name won't be Minish.**


	15. Chapter 14

**(Guarding failed... lasers failed... explosives failed... and for some reason there was a Minecraft creeper. I'm not entirely sure, but I think the universe is messing with me.)**

***finishes wrapping the disclaimer in bubble wrap***

**(But THIS TIME, I will be warned. Nothing can happen to that disclaimer without me hearing about it!)**

***jumps two feet into the air at the sound of bubble wrap bubbles all being popped loudly and simultaneously***

**I am the true owner of the Monado.**

**(...Actually, that would be pretty cool. I have no complaints with this one.)**

* * *

"...What I don't understand," Vio said, "is how we turned out so differently from each other."

"**You're telling us,**" the Four muttered.

"It doesn't make sense. It should be the same sword, how come it doesn't work like it?"

The Four shrugged. "**Maybe it has a leakage problem?**"

"Personally I'm glad we're not the same," Green interrupted. "It's a lot easier to tell us apart this way, don't you think?"

"Good thing too," Sketch grumbled. "I have a hard enough time telling Steam and Wind apart, much less two sets of Four Sword Links."

"We don't look that much alike," Steam protested. "Do we?"

He exchanged a glance with Wind, who raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "Technically you _are_ my descendant," he pointed out.

"Curse genetics," Steam growled.

By this point, the Heroes had gathered thirteen-ish Links together. Thirteen-ish because nobody was sure if Mask and Ocarina counted as one Link or two, the Four were a whole other mess entirely, and if the Four were being counted as one Hero then how were Red, Blue, Vio, and Green supposed to be counted?

The eventual solution was just to not count.

Of course, this many Links all on one place made having one big general conversation a bit difficult. So, while the two sets of Four Sword Heroes got to know each other and Steam, Wind, and Sketch compared physical traits, the rest of the Links were trying (and failing) to get their sort-of leader to wake up.

"Blue told me this guy slept a lot," Mask said incredulously, "but somehow I thought he just meant sleeping in."

He nudged Lore with his foot for the eighteenth time, and once again received no response whatsoever. Dusk facepalmed while Realm rolled his eyes and tried not to smile.

"Next time I lose something," he said, "I want us all to remember that I'm not the only one who causes delays."

"On the bright side, the Four seem to be integrating well," Ocarina put in. The group looked over to where the two sets of duplicates were. Vio seemed to be testing reflexes on the Four, tapping the knee of the green one and analyzing the results. It was a very strange thing to watch all four of the doppelgangers have a reflex reaction from only one tap. Green was watching with a half-mortified, half-fascinated expression. Blue was having a mock sword fight with Red off to the side and was shouting various unhelpful instructions. The Four just looked vaguely overwhelmed.

"...I'm sure they're fine," Ocarina said.

Dusk let out a small groan and turned back to Lore, who had started snoring. "And to think he was the one who wanted us to get a move on not two hours ago," he sighed.

Mask got a mischievous look on his face as a thought occurred to him.

"Since we have this most auspicious opportunity, shall we play a prank on our dear leader here?"

"What kind of prank?" Dusk asked slowly.

"Well, you have a Curse Stone," Mask began, "and he has a Cursed Form. And we all know he isn't very fond of it."

"You want to turn him into a pink bunny while he sleeps?" Realm clarified.

"Yep."

Ocarina grinned. "We could go a little further than that. How many transformation masks do you have?"

Mask counted for a moment. "Technically I've only got three, but I have some others that give the illusion of being transformed. Will those work?"

"Probably, Lore hasn't seen any of them yet."

"None of us have seen any of them yet," Dusk said. "And just to be clear, are we planning to prank Lore by pretending we've all been cursed?"

"Ooohh," Realm frowned. "When you put it that way, it sounds a little extreme. How 'bout we just stick with a pink bunny this time?"

"And the _next_ time we turn him into a Deku Scrub!" Mask snickered. "Good enough for me. Dusk?"

"We'd better not get payback for this," Dusk sighed as he took out the Curse Stone in the drawstring pouch. He carefully upended it over Lore's stomach and the Stone immediately sank into his body. There was a small flash, and suddenly there was a pink rabbit in green clothes snoring on the ground. Mask and Ocarina promptly exploded in mostly-silent giggles.

"Someone go get Red!" Mask wheezed. "He looks _adorable_ like that!"

"Even Lore deserves to keep some dignity," Realm argued. "Lazy though he may be, having Red squeal over his bunny cuteness is a punishment a little _too_ harsh."

"Bunny cuteness," Ocarina snickered before lapsing into more giggles. Realm sighed as a grin broke onto his face. Dusk, who had facepalmed again, was also smiling under his hand.

Evidently, pink rabbit pranks were the perfect way to relieve 'the world is ending and we have to fix it' stress.

* * *

_So we will be taking turns controlling your body in accord with the powers you intend to use? _Original Ganon asked.

"No, you will be giving me pointers," Demise growled. "No one controls me but me. The only thing you will be doing is shouting possibly unhelpful advice at me while I battle."

_Then how is this any different from what we are doing now?_ Picori Vaati questioned.

"Because this time you're doing it agreeably," Demise stated.

_I feel slightly cheated,_ Picori Vaati grumbled.

_You have no one to blame but yourself, _Veran said. _If you all weren't so overeager to kill the elf-boy, you would have seen this coming._

_And I suppose _you _were completely aware of this?_ Hyrule Ganondorf asked scathingly.

_Of course._

_Then why didn't you say something!?_

_Because, _Veran replied, _I thought the results would be amusing._

There was an infuriated shriek from one of the villains, accompanied by a crashing noise and a derisive snicker. This was followed by the _fwomp_ sound of something spontaneously combusting and a dry chuckle from Majora.

_Be lucky I am in a good mood today,_ the mask said. _Otherwise I would have taken being touched with a much more... violent reaction._

_If that's Majora in a good mood, I'd hate to see him when he's angry,_ Lorule Ganon muttered. Bellum made some bubbling in response.

Ocean Ganondorf sighed. _Malladus, translate the squid will you?_

_Why do I have to do it?_ Malladus argued. _You understand him just as well as me._

_Because I, unlike Majora, am NOT in a good mood,_ Ocean Ganondorf snarled. Someone, possibly Zant, made a _meep_ noise.

_Fine_, Malladus fumed. _Bellum, could you repeat that?_

More bubbling sounds.

_Ah... um... you do realize Majora will attempt to burn you alive for that, right?_

More bubbling.

_Well yes, but you'd still feel the pain of being burned alive._

Angry bubbling.

_Yes, revenge is a good thing, but in this case I think you'd be better off keeping all your tentacles intact._

_Oh, does the jellyfish want revenge for his pinata time? _Majora asked in a worryingly calm tone. Bellum broke out in furious bubbles.

_He takes offense to being called a jellyfish and informs you, with a good bit of vulgar ocean-based language, that he does indeed want revenge for being treated as a pinata,_ Malladus translated.

_Fascinating,_ Majora said. _I had no idea that Bellum was so keen on becoming calamari._

Bellum's bubbling abruptly changed from furious to apprehensive.

_He wishes to know where you will get the oil and breading,_ Malladus said.

"Exactly what I'd like to know," Demise interrupted. "First it was the playing cards, then sticks to play pinata with, then the banjo instruments, and then the bagpipes and kilts. I want to know where you people are getting this stuff from!"

_Obviously your subconscious,_ Majora said. _It only makes sense for a deity's mind to have the deity's power. Happily, your power includes frying oil and batter._

"...What?"

_Onox, be a dear and hold Bellum still, would you? If he keeps squirming like that we aren't going to be able to fit him into the fryer very well at all._

"WILL YOU STOP MESSING AROUND IN THERE?!" Demise roared. He paused for a minute, then in a slightly calmer tone, said, "If you actually manage to get some calamari out of that, I want some. And don't forget the marinara sauce."

* * *

The Hero of the Minish was currently about 2 inches tall, completely lost, and having a very loud argument with his hat. The problem with being Picori-sized was that Link sometimes forgot to account for his smaller self in terms of directions. Where it would normally take him five steps to get from a field to the woods, it took him about five hundred steps when he was small. Not to mention that it was really, _really_ hard to see over the top of the foot-tall grass. Combined with the fact that Link had to make a turn every time there was a stick in his way, he had quickly lost track of which direction he actually needed to go.

Ironically, for all the squawking Ezlo was doing, he hadn't said a single helpful thing yet.

"If you had just listened to the directions I gave you we wouldn't be in this mess!" Ezlo cawed.

"Ezlo, your directions consisted of, 'Go to the woods'. Not _once_ did you say how I was supposed to get there."

"Because it should have been obvious, my boy!"

Link sighed. "I'm sorry, but everything looks so different from down here! I think I can be excused for getting a little lost."

"Nonsense! The Picori manage this journey on a daily basis. Not to mention you should be well used to this size by now. I think you just aren't trying hard enough!"

Link could feel Ezlo shuffling indignantly on his head and let out another sigh. While it was nice to have somebody along for the journey, he did wish that Ezlo would be a little more... helpful.

"Well, since I _am _lost, can you help me find a portal? I'll be able to find my way much easier once I'm my normal size."

"But of course, my boy," Ezlo said, craning his neck up and around. "Anything to get us moving again."

Link navigated his way around a fallen acorn while Ezlo stretched and shuffled on his head. The bird-hat leaned down and said, "Swing to your left. I can see some tree roots over there that should lead to a trunk Portal."

Link did so, hopping over a (very) small twig as he went and dodging a startled grasshopper. Sure enough, as he neared the stump he could see the opening at the base which indicated the presence of a portal.

"What did I tell you?" Ezlo squawked from above. "Maybe you'll listen better the next time, hmm?"

Link rolled his eyes and made a carefully noncommittal sound as he trotted though the entrance. He gave himself a running start before leaping onto the first mushroom and _boing_ed his way onto the second and third fungi before rocketing out the hole in the top, performing a perfect midair flip, and landing full-sized on top of the stump. He stepped off the broken tree and stared at the woods not five feet away before thoroughly facepalming himself. On the top of Link's hair, Ezlo tossed his head.

"You see? If you had just listened to me we wouldn't have had to sidetrack. We were exactly where we needed to be."

"Yeah, yeah," Link said as he dropped his hand and walked into the woods.

Where he nearly trampled the Picori Village underneath his foot.

"Gah!" Link yelped as he scrambled backwards. He could hear an awful lot of high-pitched yelling coming from the Village on the ground, and one shout that sounded curiously like "Greenzilla!"

Link winced. This was going to take some explaining once he'd shrunk down. Speaking of which...

There was another trunk Portal a few feet away from the Village. Link pulled himself onto the top of the stump and had Ezlo shrink him. After bouncing down the mushrooms with another _boing_, Link sprinted out through the base hole and ran into the Picori Village as fast as he could.

"I AM SO SORRY!" he shouted as he burst through the clover entrance. The Picori multitude stared at him.

"I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and I almost stepped on you. I'm really sorry..." Link trailed off as he registered the excited expressions on the Picori.

"Why are you sorry?" one of the civilians chirped. "We just got to experience all the terror of a Greenzilla invasion without any of the collateral damage! It was awesome!"

Link blinked. On his head, Ezlo rolled his eyes.

"Uhh... Greenzilla?" Link asked, a bit lost.

"It's a local Picori legend, never you mind Link," Ezlo said briskly. "Now, what was so urgent that you needed us to come all this way?"

The Picori's face turned serious. "Vaati came back to gloat."

Ezlo practically leapt off Link's head at that. "He did what?!"

"He was telling us how much better he was now, and how he was going to rule the world and stuff," the Picori said.

"He even shrank himself down to say it to our faces," another one added.

"But when he went to leave, well..." the Picori ran out of words and gestured backwards instead.

Link followed the Picori's arm and looked back. And up. And up. And then a little more up, just to make sure he got all of it.

From a Picori perspective, there was an absolutely massive hole in the world just a few feet from the village. If he were normal sized, Link suspected, the hole would only be a little taller than he was. But from a height of two inches, well, it was understandable. Also, it was a _hole in the world. _

"What _happened?_" Link asked.

"He just sort of... vanished," the Picori replied. "One minute he was there, and the next he kinda... pulled in on himself and left that thing in his place."

"Was Vaati human sized when this happened?"

"Yeah," said the Picori. "Otherwise it would be our size and down here in the village."

Link stared at the hole again. His eyebrows rose as he realized the hole had gotten bigger since he'd last looked at it.

"What do you need us to do?" he questioned.

At that, the village Picori suddenly got a little sheepish. "Well, we were hoping you could help us evacuate," one of then said. "The plan was to... maybe... kinda... ride on you."

"...Huh?"

"Because you can grow big," another Picori explained. "You can move a lot faster than we can, and we thought maybe you could carry us?"

"But of course," Ezlo squawked. "We would never leave you to the wrath of this hole, right Link?"

"Sure thing," Link said, shrugging. "Just give me a second to use the trunk Portal and I'll be right back."

One trip through the portal later, Link was crouching as low into the clover as he possibly could, while Ezlo reached down with his beak and helped the Picori onto Link's shoulders. Some of the more adventurous Picori hanging from Link's hair like it was an amusement ride. The more sane villagers opted for riding in Link's hands once his shoulders were full.

Once all the Picori had been gathered, Link rose to his feet and carefully set off to the nearest Picori Village from the forest. Part of his mind though, stayed back with the hole.

_I wonder why Vaati disappeared like that?_

* * *

"I give up," Nayru declared, spinning away from the view of the timeline. "I don't know how they did it, but Courage has somehow managed to break time even more than it already is. I'm done."

"Does this mean you won't freeze up anymore?" Din asked.

"I'm not even going to care," Nayru replied. "If they have to fix time by breaking it, then by all means, let them have at it. I want to stay conscious for this one."

"You _did_ kinda let yourself get captured that one time when Lore was around," Din mused.

"So did you!" Nayru shot back.

"Yes, good, you're both even," Farore broke in. "I admit, I was not expecting the two Four Sword sets to meet each other. But they seem to be fitting in decently well, all things considered."

"You mean how they do everything in unison?" Din clarified.

"If you think about it, that's not really all that much weirder than turning into a wolf," Farore pointed out.

"True..."

Nayru sighed. "I'm sorry girls, I just... I suppose I feel a bit useless, is all."

"You're not useless," Din assured her.

"Maybe, but I'm the one who went statue when Mask and Ocarina met up," Nayru replied. "And besides, all we're doing is sitting and observing! We ought to be investigating, figuring this out. I want to be helping Courage, not watching his multiple forms blunder about in the dark trying to fix things."

"Hey, I found a connection with a duck," Din reminded her.

"And did that lead you anywhere?"

"Well... not really, no."

"And that's exactly my point," Nayru said. "Since when have we let our Aspects do all our work? In the past, we've always had a plan for how to fix things. This time, we have _nothing. _And I'm sick of it."

There was a beat of silence.

"Well, we've been turning the holes safe for when Courage passes through them," Farore said. "But other than that... you're right. I can't think of anything."

"And we're going to fix that," Nayru said firmly. "I can use my connection with time to backtrack and see where all this got started. We can work from there, and help out Courage with whatever he needs based on what we find."

"Good a plan as any," Din agreed. Farore nodded.

"Right then. Hold on to me," Nayru said. Her sisters crowded around and placed their hands on her shoulders. There was a bright blue flash as Nayru activated her connection, and then the space where the three goddesses had stood was empty.

* * *

Steam, Sketch, Mask, Blue, Ocarina, and the Four were all giggling uncontrollably as the pink rabbit in a green tunic continued to paw through an adventure bag, frantically looking for something. Vio and Green, along with Realm, Dusk, and Wind, were all trying to hide their smiles but failing miserably. And Red was squealing at the cuteness.

"You're all a bunch of jerks, you know that?" Lore said loudly as he sorted through his items. "Can't even let a guy take his bloody nap in peace..."

Realm and Dusk burst into laughter at that statement. The Links who were already laughing just laughed harder. And Red squealed again.

Lore reached the bottom of his bag and, finding a significant lack of Moon Pearl, whirled to face his snickering counterparts.

"All right, which one of you clever pranksters took my Pearl?"

Mask collapsed in laughter. Lore's eyes narrowed, which inadvertently caused his nose and whiskers to twitch. This sent Red into yet another squeal at the cuteness.

Lore forcibly ignored the enthusiastic Link and marched/hopped his way over to Mask, reached into his pouch, and pulled out the Moon Pearl. There was a brief flash, and Lore was Hylian again.

"Awww," Red whined.

Lore pocketed the Moon Pearl and forcibly calmed himself down. "I get that I was sleeping on the job," he said, " but was it really necessary to prank me?"

Dusk stepped forward and scooped the Curse Stone into his drawstring pouch from where it had landed. "It was Mask's idea. Buuuut we all went along."

Lore glared at them all.

By this time, all the Links except for Mask had managed to compose themselves. Steam, still grinning a bit, slung his arm around Lore's shoulders, albeit with some difficulty due to the height difference.

"You know we like you," he said. "Besides, it was hilarious."

"**Absolutely,**" the Four agreed.

"Dude, you're _pink_," Blue said as though that explained everything. Which it kinda did.

A small smirk crept onto Lore's face. "Well then, don't be surprised if I get revenge one of these days."

"I welcome the challenge," Mask said as he picked himself off the floor, having finally recovered.

Lore flashed a grin, then frowned. "Okay then. Now that we're all awake and active, I say we go through the hole again. We're still not sure what the source of the holes are, and we really need to get a move on."

There was a general murmur of agreement, and Lore felt a small flash of pride at that. It was an odd feeling, not one he was used to, and he shook it off quickly. He was leading because he thought it would be fun, no other reasons involved. At least, none that he would consciously admit to.

The Links all filed around the hole again, and finally, finally managed to go through in an orderly fashion. Nobody even got pushed, which was an accomplishment in itself, seeing as how pushing one another through had become a sort of tradition. What was on the other side of the hole, however, immediately caused a very familiar dog-pile scenario.

"Why'd we stop?" Wind asked in a muffled voice, being sandwiched in between Dusk and the Four. Realm, who was in front, carefully stepped forward and answered, "There's a tiny village in here."

The rest of the Links squirmed out of the backup and gathered around the diminutive settlement. Sure enough, half-hidden in a patch of clover was a miniaturized town. It was also completely deserted.

"Well, that's odd," Ocarina remarked.

"**We've heard about this,**" the Four said. "**There's a legend that a race called the Picori helped to forge the Four Sword. They were supposed to be tiny, about the size of a thumb. But nobody really thought they existed in our Hyrule.**"

"I've read about the Picori too," Vio added. "Although they were dismissed as nothing but a myth. You don't think this is one of their villages, do you?"

"Well even if it was, someone else has been here," Lore said, staring at the ground. Being the Link with the most experience, he had learned a long time ago how to track something. Someone, a small-ish child from the looks of it, had been here quite recently and had literally been in the middle of the village. Unfortunately, the trail only went for a few feet until Lore lost it on moss.

"Hey Dusk?" Lore said.

"You want me to track it?" Dusk guessed. Lore nodded. Dusk pulled out his drawstring pouch, handed the Master Sword off to a slightly startled Wind, and upended the Curse Stone into his palm. There was the familiar feeling of a compromise between the invading Twilight and Triforce power, then Dusk was on four legs. He shook himself, then noticed Lore smirking at him.

_"__What?"_ Dusk asked, forgetting that he couldn't talk. His question came out as a low rumbling noise.

"Oh, just planning a prank," Lore replied. Dusk blinked. Again, they acted like they could understand him. He was going to have to test that... later. Right now he had a trail to follow.

Dusk put his nose to the ground where the person had flattened the clover around the tiny village. He caught a scent almost immediately, the trail showing up brightly in the world created by his senses. It looked... green. Huh. Just like all the other Link's scents... Well, not _exactly _like all the other Link's scents, but close. Very close.

Dusk inhaled, making sure to memorize the smell, before taking off with a _"Come on!"_ thrown over his shoulder. It came out as a sharp yip. He could hear the rest of his friends running behind him, but he could also tell they were dropping behind.

_I always forget how slow we Hylians are with only two legs..._ he thought to himself, slowing to a trot.

"Thanks," Green gasped as he caught up. Dusk nodded, then concentrated on the scent once again. It was leading... into the closest Town.

Great.

And so, Dusk, as a wolf, ran headlong into Hyrule Town and scared the living daylights out of the locals. Their fear was promptly followed by confusion as twelve boys of varying ages, all of whom looked extremely similar, came racing through the town after the wolf, with one of the older ones bellowing, "SLOW DOWN!" at the top of his lungs. And then for some reason, every single one of them made a beeline for the library.

The locals were very confused indeed.

* * *

**Hi guys! **

**So I decided to get down to plot business rather then have even more strange shenanigans. Well, decently serious plot business anyways. We're still going to have strange shenanigans, there's just going to be some serious bits thrown in now. **

**Sorry for the timing on this, uploading at 11pm. I did a stupid thing and tried to catch a knife that I dropped. Don't worry, I'm fine. It just takes a little longer to type now that I have a bandage restricting my movement. I still plan on uploading at my normal schedule though. **

**Until next time!**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to hlf1495 and Thegeniusyoshi for favoriting/following!**

**Pokemon Trainer Josiah: Goodness, that sounds confusing.**

**LuckeyLugia: This chapter, actually. Now everyone who wanted MC Link, here he is! Accept it and be happy! ;) **

**Guest: I eventually decided against it on the grounds that Nintendo have stated that Hyrule Warriors is not part of the Zelda timeline. It was a tough choice though.**


	16. Chapter 15

**Woo! Chapter 15! I feel like we hit a milestone or something. Also, sometime a while back we hit 50 reviews. Even better! I'm not exactly sure who it was... so internet cookies for everyone! And while I'm on this celebratory thing, we officially have over 3,000 views on this story. More internet cookies! *Fires a cookie cannon and frosting squirt gun***

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own the Legend of Zelda.**

**(...Huh? Well that's... odd. How come the universe didn't mess with my disclaimer? I thought the universe loved messing with my diclaimer.)**

**(I wonder if I offended the universe?)**

* * *

"He's in a library?" Blue asked incredulously. Dusk, still a wolf, nodded.

"Books," Steam groaned. "It had to be books."

"What's wrong with books?" Realm asked.

"Every book I've ever read only told me stuff I already knew," Steam explained.

"We'll have to fix that then," Realm decided. "When all of this is over, I'm going to find you a book that is both new and enjoyable."

"Good luck with that," Steam muttered.

Dusk padded up to Wind and nudged the Master Sword with his nose. The Curse Stone solidified and fell to the ground, and Wind handed the sword back to Dusk, who slid it into it's scabbard.

"He walked in only a couple minutes ago," Dusk said. "I think he might be another Link. He smelled really similar to the rest of us."

"You know what we smell like?" Sketch asked, half-fascinated, half-disturbed.

"Well, for all intents and purposes, we've all got basically the same scent. There's a few undertones that are different, but for the most part, yeah."

"Different how?" Vio asked.

Dusk thought for a moment. "Okay, Wind, for example, smells like all the rest of us, but he also smells a little bit salty."

"So I've got the ocean in my scent?" Wind clarified.

"Basically."

"Then what does a 'Link' smell like normally?" Vio questioned, still curious.

Dusk shrugged helplessly. "I don't know, it's just... us. I don't know how else to explain it."

"We're sidetracking again," Lore interjected, rolling his eyes.

"Right, sorry," Dusk said. "We should find him before he leaves."

Lore led the way through the Library door, followed by the rest of the Links. The Library was somewhat large, with books lining every shelf all the way up to the ceiling. There was a surprising lack of dust, given the amount of objects for it to accumulate on. In fact, the entire building was rather spotless.

In the back of the building, there was a blond boy of about thirteen in a green tunic apparently having a conversation with a book. Lore stepped forward and cleared his throat to get the boy's attention.

The boy jumped at the unexpected noise and spun with his back to the book, as if trying to hide it from view. Lore raised an eyebrow at that, but then something even stranger happened. The hat on the boy's head lifted itself up, glared at him, and squawked, "How rude of you! Young folks these days have absolutely no concept of manners..."

Lore gaped at the hat. So did all the other Links.

The blond boy sighed. "Ezlo, it's fine. They probably just wanted a book and I'm blocking the shelf."

"As if," Steam muttered.

"Actually," Wind said, "we were looking for you, we think. Is your name Link, by any chance?"

The boy blinked. "Um, yeah, but how...?"

Sketch thumped Wind upside the head. "Of course he's one of us, you dummy! He looks almost exactly like the Four Sword guys."

"I was just making sure," Wind muttered as he straightened his hat.

"I look like who now?" the newly established Link said.

"Over here," Green said, raising an arm. Link followed the voice to find an almost identical twin waving at him. His jaw dropped.

"And don't forget the rest of us," Blue added as he shouldered his way in next to Green. Red poked his head out from behind Blue and beamed, and Vio appeared on Green's other side, hands behind his head.

"Technically, the Four also share physical similarities," he said. The Four, hearing their name, pushed to the front of the group and looked curiously at the new Link.

"**He does look like us,**" they agreed in unison. At this point, Link began to resemble a fish.

"Guys, don't crowd him," Lore said. "Let's all take about three steps back and introduce ourselves properly. And... Ocarina, how about you take this one?"

"I can give it a shot," Ocarina said. "Alrighty... Hi there! I'm Ocarina, and this is my older-but-younger self, Mask."

"'Sup," Mask said with a nod. Lore facepalmed. "That's not helping..."

Ocarina ignored him and continued, "The cranky one is Lore, he's our sort-of leader. And this is Dusk, Steam, the Four, Wind, Realm, Sketch, Green, Vio, Red, and Blue." He pointed to each of the Links as he said their name.

"We're all Link, just from different times and possibly dimensions in Hyrule's history. We're trying to trying to fix a bunch of holes that could lead to the complete and utter eradication of reality and we keep finding ourselves along the way. Nice to meet you, by the way."

"...Hi," Link said, still looking shell-shocked.

Red took the moment of stalled conversation to pounce. "Do you have any nicknames I should be aware of?"

"Um... no?"

"Excellent!" Red squealed. "The last three Links already had nicknames for themselves and I didn't get to use any of my ideas. Now, what's your Hero title?"

"Hero of the Minish," Link said.

"What's a Minish?" Sketch asked.

"It's another name for Picori," Vio answered. "By that I'm assuming that the Picori are real?"

"Actually, yeah," Link said. He turned around to face the book he had been hiding and said, "Do you guys feel okay with coming out?"

There was a very high-pitched answer, and a diminutive humanoid creature opened a door in the book and walked out. The Links stared at it.

"What do you know, they're real," Blue said eventually.

The Picori made a bow and chattered something in its high-pitched voice.

"No problem," Link answered. "Glad I could help. Thanks for taking them in like this, by the way."

Another chattered answer.

"I will. Thanks again."

The Picori made another bow and went back into the book, closing the cover-door behind it.

"Well, that was odd," Lore said. "Are they supposed to be translucent?"

"I thought they were solid," Steam argued.

"It's dependent on your age," Link explained. "The older you get, the harder it is to see them. But I guess if you're all... er... me, kind of, you have a little more time."

"He was so cute," Red gushed.

"I want to know how you understood him," Vio said. "All I heard was some garbled squeaking."

"I got a Jabber Nut awhile back," Link explained. "It lets me understand their language. He was thanking me for helping the forest Picori to evacuate after their village was made unlivable."

"We saw that," Mask remembered. "That tiny thing in the clover with the big hole looming, right?"

"Yeah, actually... how did-"

"Omigosh I forgot about your nickname!" Red cried, effectively cutting off anything Link was trying to say. "You said the Hero of the Minish, right?"

"Yeah..."

"Okay, do you want to be called Minish?"

"No, not really," Link said. "Do I look like a Picori to you?"

"Okay, well... can you do anything special?"

"I have a cranky talking hat, does that count?" Link asked.

"I forbid you to name yourself after me!" Ezlo squawked.

"That answers that then," Red muttered. "Anything else?"

"Well..." Link thought for a moment. "I can shrink to Picori size with the portals, does that work?"

"Absolutely!" Red decided. "So... shrinking, small, tiny... Vio!"

"Yeah, yeah," Vio grumbled good naturedly. "Lets see... mite, nano, micro, speck, patch, shrimp, tiny, pint... I can't think of any more. Can you use one of those?"

"Speck," Red said, nodding decisively.

"You're naming me Speck?" Link asked, slightly incredulous. He was promptly hit with the surprisingly accurate image of an adorable puppy at full power. How were Red's eyes even getting that big?

Link internally cursed his weakness of adorable puppies. "...I can get used to it," he said feebly.

"Yay!" Red cheered. Steam draped an arm over the newly named Speck's shoulder.

"If it makes you feel any better," he said, "we've all got a weakness for adorable puppies. Red, unfortunately, happens to have a _really_ good adorable puppy impersonation."

"Makes it really hard to stay mad at him," Blue grumbled.

"I concur with that," Speck said ruefully.

"What I wouldn't give to have that boy make that face at Vaati," Ezlo said thoughtfully. "I'd like to see that braggart try and take advantage of a child like that."

"Knowing Red, he'd probably have your Vaati reformed in 5 minutes flat," Blue agreed. "It is _scary_ what he can do with that face when he wants to use it."

* * *

Unfortunately, it turned out to be physically impossible to turn Bellum into calamari.

Demise had been rather disappointed at that.

Once Majora had been... appeased (there was really nothing else anyone _could_ do), Demise sat down and managed to map out a plan with the host in his head.

Veran, being a surprisingly good planner, had pointed out that the Heroes were highly unlikely to be able to enter the plane outside time and space where Demise was currently residing. It was then decided, after much argument, to enter the timestream at the point where the Hero had first come into existence, the time when Demise had first been defeated. The plan was that eliminating the original Hero would in turn erase all succeeding Heroes from existence.

This had not been the easiest decision to come to, mainly because of Majora again. The mask had been incredibly insistent that the Hero relative to his time be present so that Majora could burn him into ashes. Needless to say, a lot of the villains had experienced Majora's favorite torture method before a decision had been reached.

Even Demise was becoming apprehensive of the mask at this point.

So now, Demise and the multitude of mental villains were trekking about in the Faron Woods, trying -and failing- to find either the original Hero or the Sealed Grounds. It was becoming painfully obvious to Demise why he'd originally wanted to destroy creation in the first place. Not that he'd forgotten, but in light of recent... events, it had slipped his mind slightly.

The Kikwi weren't exactly helping either. Odd little penguin-creatures, incredibly annoying, and somehow constantly managing to be underfoot exactly when he wasn't paying attention. It was like stepping on a quail, only much, much louder.

Kikwi were now on Demise's mental list of What To Kill First. Right after the Hero, but before Gorons.

_As amusing as you mental ruminations are,_ Veran said, _we are currently _not_ trying to decide whom to kill first. We are trying to find our way out. Now try going left this time._

"I know exactly where I'm going," Demise growled.

_Oh really? Then explain to me why we're still on the wrong side of the Forest. _

_Wait, this is the _wrong _side? _Original Ganon asked. _I thought this was a shortcut!_

_This is the middle of the Sky Temple, how in Hyrule could you possibly think this was a shortcut?_

"Both of you, shut it!" Demise snarled. "I am trying to think!" He stalked down one of the hallways that was being offered to him without really considering which way he was going, being extremely frustrated and not at all in a patient mood.

_That was not left,_ Veran informed him. _Honestly, am I the only one with any sense around here?_

"You try navigating this swamp-hole," Demise growled as he trudged back the other way.

* * *

Link was flying his Loftwing back to Skyloft, utterly confused. Demise... hadn't been in the strange, storm filled dimension like Ghirahim said he would be. The Demon Lord, after hearing this, had gone on an odd rampage, full of flamboyant gestures, posturing, and very sparkly diamonds. He had also tried to fill his Master's shoes by fighting as the Final Boss himself, but... that hadn't lasted very long.

Fi, it seemed, was experiencing the closest thing to confusion she could manage. When Link had called on her to ask, the only answer he had gotten had been, "I do not understand. This does not match any of my projections."

Zelda was equally confused, it seemed. Hylia's memories were in blatant contradiction of what had actually happened, that being that there shouldn't have been any way that Demise would miss an opportunity to destroy her and her country. Except that he had.

Groose, on the other hand, was ecstatic. But then again, he was Groose. That about explained everything he did.

Impa, it seemed, just went with everything that could possibly happen, whether she saw it coming or not. Link wished he could have her attitude about the situation, but when the god of destruction went mysteriously missing, well... he was just a liiittle apprehensive.

His bird soared into Skyloft airspace, and Link rolled off the Loftwing's back and plunged towards the island. Halfway down he whipped out the Sailcloth and gently drifted the rest of the way. He set off walking the instant his feet hit the ground, stuffing the Sailcloth away in his pouch and making a beeline for the Bazaar. Missing or not, Demise was still the biggest threat he'd ever faced, and Link was darned sure he wasn't going out unprepared.

He wondered how much red potion he could buy before the seller ran out.

* * *

"Alright," Lore announced. "You-" he pointed at Speck- "need some time to cope, and we-" he gestured to the rest of the Links- "need to rest a little. I would also like a nap."

"Of course you would," Steam snorted.

"So," Lore continued, "how about you tell us your journey?"

"Story time!" Red cheered as he plopped down on the Library floor.

Speck thought for a moment, then shrugged. "Okay then. Basically, I got started when the Picori Festival came around. Vaati entered himself in the sword-fighting tournament and got to see the Bound Chest and the Picori Sword, except that he broke the Sword."

"I'm assuming that's bad?" Ocarina asked.

"Very," Speck said. "The Sword was holding the Chest shut, and when he broke it a whole bunch of monsters got released into Hyrule. Then he turned Princess Zelda to stone-"

"That copycat!," Wind cried. "Bellum did the same thing to Tetra."

"Technically, I think Vaati came before Bellum," Dusk said. "Doesn't that make Bellum the copier?"

"ANYWAYS," Speck said pointedly, "I had to take the Picori Blade to the Picori because they were the only ones who could fix it, and because the Picori Blade was the only thing that could free Zelda. Also because only children can see the Picori and I was apparently the only child available. So I took the Sword to the forest, because that was where the Picori were supposed to live, and that's where I met Ezlo here."

"And let me tell you, if it weren't for me, Link here would have been wandering around for weeks," Ezlo squawked.

"I saved you from monsters!" Speck protested.

"I would have been fine," Ezlo said confidently. "I was just lulling them into a false sense of security."

"Because a hat without any arms can totally perform self-defense," Sketch snickered.

"I feel like his tongue is defense enough..." Speck muttered.

"Absolutely right!" Ezlo agreed loudly.

"So Ezlo planted himself on my head and showed me how to use the portals to change my size-"

"Yeah, how exactly does that work?" Realm asked.

"Er, well, I stand on the top of it, and then Ezlo does... something."

"I will have you know I do much more than 'something'," Ezlo exclaimed.

"What he said. So I shrank down and found my way into the Picori Village, but they were all speaking that... garbled squeaking, and I couldn't understand any of it. I ended up running around the entire Picori Village trying to find that stupid Jabber Nut, because I couldn't understand _anyone_ when I asked where it was."

"The thing that let you understand them, right?" Green clarified.

"That's it, yeah. Took me a good half-hour to find."

"Are there more?" Vio asked.

"Uh... Ezlo?"

"Link here ate the last one the Village had," Ezlo supplied.

"Well that's stupid, why would an entire Village only have one translator to go around?" Blue said.

"Because Picori do things differently, that's why," Ezlo shot back.

"This is gonna take a while," Speck sighed as Ezlo and Blue got into a rather large argument.

* * *

**Hi guys!**

**Yeah, so technically it's the 16****th**** chapter, but I don't really count the prologue. So I say 15, and I'm sticking with it! Plus, 3,839 views definitely counts as a milestone. I declare my previous celebration to be entirely valid.**

**Yeah, this is a little short compared to recent updates, but I wanted to give Speck the chapter time. More words would have meant more time spent on Link from Skyward Sword, and I didn't want to split the love between the two. Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to DrBananaFace for favoriting/following!**

**LuckyLugia: Actually, yes. You are strangely good at guessing my thought process... Essentially it just made it easier to keep track of who was who and who was coming next. **

**Zelda Fan: Wind's personality is a little more laid back than that, at least by my reasoning. And yeah... yeah they might be. It's certainly not out of Mask's character, at least. If you remember back in Chapter 7, Midna noted that she couldn't pass through the hole the way Dusk could. This applies to all the companions, since they don't have a Triforce or godly protection or anything. Mask left Tatl behind when he came through a hole. He hasn't really mentioned this because he got a bit distracted meeting his younger-but-older self. Same with Ciela, but with different circumstances. Navi... is actually a plot point. For the sake of avoiding spoilers, I will simply tell you to keep reading! Also, just because characters aren't around now doesn't mean they won't pop up eventually. As for MC's Four Sword... I wasn't really planning to use it, since I was having enough problems with two sets of Four Sword Heroes but... this could be the basis of an excellent joke. I will think on this. (Long response is long. Sorry.)**


	17. Chapter 16

**(Okay... maybe last time was a bit of a fluke. So, here's my disclaimer. All alone... completely unguarded... just waiting to be messed with... hint hint)**

**I do not own the Legend of Zelda.**

**(...Oh crap. I DEFINITELY offended the universe.)**

* * *

"So after that I started checking back at the Picori Villages because Ezlo thought it would be a good idea-"

"And I was right, wasn't I?" Ezlo agreed smugly.

"Well, yeah, because at the Forest Village we found that hole," Speck said. "Anyways, I ended up helping with the evacuation and took the Forest Picori to the Town Picori, since they were the closest Village. They live in the Library here."

"Why would they live here?" Vio asked.

"Apparently books make for excellent houses," Speck explained.

"But what if their book-house happens to be one that somebody wants to rent?" Dusk questioned. "I get that the Picori themselves would be invisible, but now you've got someone with a hollowed-out book with furniture inside. Not to mention the unseeable Picori who is now a prisoner in his own home. What happens then?"

Speck frowned. "I... don't know. I don't think that's ever occurred to anyone..."

"Picori work in strange ways, you needn't concern yourselves with it," Ezlo said dismissively. "Let's continue, shall we?"

Vio blinked. "But... what?"

"He does that, it's normal for him," Speck said by way of explanation. "So... yeah, I brought the Picori here, and then you guys showed up. And that's about everything, I guess."

The Links sat around in silence for a moment as they all processed the new story. Over the course of their time together, they had started rating each other on a scale of weirdness, based on what happened during their travels. Currently, Dusk and Mask were tied for first, with Ocarina coming in at a close second. Sketch and the two sets of Four Sword Heroes were more-or-less tied for second, or possibly third, depending on if Ocarina counted as Mask or not. Lore was rated decently high because he had four adventures worth of weirdness available. Steam came next, due to Zelda being a phantom throughout most of his journey. Then Wind, and then Realm. Speck was currently being slotted in between Lore and Steam, mainly because his shrinking ability was entirely voluntary and Zelda turning to stone wasn't anything new.

Of course, all of this was unspoken. But it was rather interesting all the same.

"So... am I going with you guys?" Speck asked as they all filed out of the Library.

"What, wasn't it obvious?" Lore asked back. "Red gave you a nickname and everything. That pretty much seals the deal around here."

"You mean we had a choice?" Sketch said incredulously.

"Of course not," Blue scoffed. "That would have implied sanity on our part. You should know better by now."

"I was just checking," Speck said over the developing argument with a shrug. "Oh, are we going back to the hole in the Picori Village? Because if so, we need to go left."

"Yes we are, and thank you," Lore replied. "I think I'll have Realm spend some time with you, he _needs_ a better sense of direction."

"Er... speaking of Realm," Dusk began slowly. "He _may_ have gotten lost in the Library. I didn't see him come out with us."

There was a collective groan from all the Links who knew what this meant.

"Lets go then," Steam grumbled, turning around and trudging back to the Library. "If we move fast, we might be able to find him before he ends up in a volcano or something."

"How exactly would he be able to find a volcano from a library?" Speck asked.

"We have no idea," Vio said, "but trust me, he probably could."

* * *

It took Demise two more hours to find his way back to the entrance of the Skyview Temple. Naturally, the first thing that happened when he walked through the doors involved stepping on a Kikwi.

"I... _HATE_... those... creatures!" Demise spat as the little bird-thing ran off, flapping it's useless little arms and squealing at the top of it's lungs.

_You can kill them _after _we destroy the Hero,_ Veran told him. _Now make a right. There should be a path that will lead you out._

_How you can be so bad at navigating your own time period?,_ Hyrule Ganondorf asked.

"I was imprisoned with a giant spike in my head, I didn't particularly pay attention to my surroundings," Demise growled, stalking down the path on his right. It was lined with giant mushrooms. He hated giant mushrooms.

_You should eat one! _Zant suddenly exclaimed. _Giant mushrooms make you giant! I met a friend of a cousin of a brother of a plumber once, and the plumber uses giant shrooms to defeat a spiky dinosaur!_

There was silence for a moment.

"That is, quite possibly, the stupidest thing you have ever said," Demise stated. "First of all, why is there a dinosaur? Second, why is a plumber fighting it? Third, _how_ can the mushrooms make the plumber grow giant? Fourth, where does this plumber even live that there's a dinosaur? And lastly, what in the name of destruction is a dinosaur and a plumber?"

_...He's Italian?_ Zant offered.

"That answers absolutely nothing," Demise seethed. "And for that matter-"

_You missed a turn,_ Veran informed him. Demise looked at his surroundings and discovered himself to be halfway up the Great Tree that stood in the middle of the woods.

"Why didn't anyone tell me sooner?!" he demanded.

_Because it is highly amusing to watch you fail,_ Majora said.

"Need I remind you that this is only delaying our destruction of the Hero?" Demise said.

_True, but we still consider the torture of our captor to be high priority in the grand scheme of things,_ Malladus said.

Demise started to make an angry retort, only to be interrupted by a Kikwi. Snoring. Very obnoxiously.

The villains in his head started to snicker.

"What... is that _thing_... even _doing_ in a tree in the first place?!"

* * *

"So let me get this straight," Speck said in a very confused tone. "You somehow managed to get lost in a one-story library that is only about thirty feet long and fifteen feet wide."

"Yep," Realm said.

"You then ended up going out the back door, walked in what you thought was a straight line, and somehow ended up in the mountains instead."

"Yep."

Speck furrowed his eyebrows. "Then you managed, without any access to the Picori Portals, to get all the way into the center of the Cave of Flames, where you _somehow_, and I really don't know how you managed this, got yourself stranded in the middle of a lava pool effectively in the middle of a volcano. And all this came from getting lost in a Library."

"And, yep," Realm said, grinning abashedly. "This is actually pretty normal..."

Speck blinked, then turned with wide eyes to the rest of the Links. "You were absolutely right. He got lost in a volcano."

"Told you," Blue said in a smug tone.

"Be glad it only took us an two hours this time," Steam added. "The last time he got lost we all spent _five_ hours trying to get back."

"Speaking of getting back," Mask interrupted, "I vote we _not_ let Realm decide the direction and have Speck show us the way. We have a hole to get back to, remember?"

"Back to the Forest Village, right?" Speck clarified. At the acknowledgment of the other Links, Speck started walking, followed closely by Lore, who was attempting to be a proper leader for once, and then the rest of the group came after. They had actually left the Cave of Fire a while ago, Speck having waited for safer surroundings before questioning Realm about his directional issues, but there was still a ways to go. And in the meantime, a rather interesting conversation started up.

"I just think my special ability is better, that's all," Sketch said with a shrug. This, of course, caused immediate dissent among the rest of the group. Fortunately Wind decided to ask a reasonably sensible question first.

"Why?" he said.

"Because I can get to places that nobody else can," Sketch answered.

"So can Speck," Vio pointed out. "And Dusk, wolves are a lot more maneuverable then people are."

"Stealth attacks," Sketch countered. "Nobody pays attention to the artwork on the wall until it stabs them."

"Again, Dusk," Vio replied. "Wolves are hunters, they know how to hide themselves. And Speck, nobody pays attention to the ant on the ground until it bites them."

"I don't turn into an ant though," Speck called back.

"It's a size comparison, I'm just making a point," Vio shouted in reply

"I use my ability to travel into another world," Sketch said.

"...Okay, I'll give you that," Vio agreed.

"I go another world though too," Dusk put in.

"Not by turning into a wolf though, that just lets you survive," Wind said, having been listening after his initial question.

"Oh, don't you have the Wind Waker though?" Vio asked. "Controlling the weather has _got_ to be pretty neat."

"...Yeah, that's cool," Sketch admitted. "I forgot about that, you're always so quiet, Wind. You should have said something."

Wind shrugged. "You guys always talk enough without me butting in. Besides, I'm patient like that. One of the side effects of sailing."

"Okay, so factoring the Wind Waker in, who's ability is better?" Steam asked, effectively inserting himself into the conversation.

"Wind's ability comes from an item though," Vio said, thinking. "So... what about other people and their item abilities? We should probably include them."

"Actually, mine is an item ability, now that I think about it," Dusk said, frowning.

"I use masks," Mask said randomly. "They're transformation items, so I think that counts."

"And we split into four people, I think that counts too," Green inserted.

"**Same for us,**" the Four agreed. "**And our ability comes from our Swords, which counts as an item.**"

"Okay, fine, so now we have Dusk with his wolf, Sketch with his painting, Speck with his shrinking, Wind with his weather, Mask with his... masks-"

"Wow that sounds weird," Mask said thoughtfully. "Maybe I should have thought out my nickname more..."

"-me and my brothers with our splitting, the Four with _their_ splitting, and... anyone else got an ability to pitch in?"

"Do I count as Mask or myself?" Ocarina asked.

"...No idea," Vio replied as he sidestepped a tree root. "Just call yourself separate, it's easier that way."

"Okay then... does age alteration count?"

"But that only works in the Temple of Time, leaf-brain," Mask said. "Do you _see_ the Temple anywhere around here?"

"Fine. Uh... I can do fancy stuff with my ocarina."

"So can I," Mask pointed out. "But I already used my masks for this, so... go for it, I guess."

"Alright, so Ocarina and... his ocarina," Vio summarized.

"You know, maybe we _both_ should have put more thought into our nicknames," Mask said as Ocarina facepalmed.

"Alright... anyone else?"

"Does getting lost count as a power?" Realm asked.

"NO!" the Links all shouted simultaneously.

"Right, just checking," Realm said. "Yeah, I don't actually have anything terribly special."

"You _are_ a brunet though," Blue said. "That's different, at least."

"Okay, Realm and his hair color," Vio said. Half the Links dissolved into snickers at that, Realm included.

"Steam, Lore, do you guys have anything to contribute in this?" Vio called over the laughter.

"I can play a pan flute, drive a train, and see disembodied princesses, do any of those work?" Steam yelled back.

"I could totally play a pan flute if I tried," Lore threw in.

"And anyone can drive a train with proper teaching, but the disembodied people thing is important," Vio mused. "Steam and his special sight, then?"

"Works for me," Steam replied.

"And Lore can turn into a rabbit-" Vio started.

"We are _not_ using that as my ability," Lore growled.

"Okay then, what else have you got?" Speck asked, curious. He also made a mental note to ask someone about the rabbit thing later.

"Well, the Rod of Seasons lets me change the season."

"Seems fairly obvious," Blue said, nodding.

"The Harp of Ages lets me travel in time," Lore continued.

"That's just not fair..." Ocarina whimpered. Mask nodded with a sulky expression.

"And I can play a cello, a horn, a bell, a harp, a marimba-"

"What the heck is that?" Wind asked.

"The guy with the conducting baton doesn't know an instrument? Smooth," Steam snorted.

"It's a type of xylophone," Lore explained. "Now where was I? Oh yeah: a marimba, a triangle, an organ, and a drum all simultaneously. I only know the one song though, took a bloody long time to learn it too."

There was a moment of silence as the rest of the group stared.

"...I'm no expert," Realm started, "but I'm pretty sure that should be anatomically impossible. Vio?"

"Yep," Vio agreed.

"Well excuse me for breaking physics," Lore snarked. "Sketch does it every time he walks hieroglyphic style, but nobody seems to mind him."

"That's because I don't like to think about it," Sketch muttered.

"...Right then," Vio said. "So Lore, and his seasonal/time/physics bending."

"Well, put like that, I think Lore wins," Dusk said emphatically.

Sketch, predictably, opened his mouth to argue, but got cut off when Speck announced, "We're here."

There was the hole.

But the Picori Village was no longer in existence.

Speck stared at the place where the clover patch used to be, now part of the pitch-black void. He seemed to be at a loss for words.

"Oh man..." Blue said softly. "That was their home, right?"

"And now it's gone..." Red whimpered. He was on the verge of tears.

Ezlo reared his head up from atop Speck's hair and surveyed the damage critically. Then he twisted down and pecked at Speck's head, hard.

"Listen up boy!" he squawked. "I expect your full effort to be behind this undertaking, understand? Next time we see those Picori, I want to be able to tell them their home is just fine. Got it?"

Speck, who had been shaken out of his shock by Ezlo's pecking, managed a wan smile. "Sure thing, Ezlo."

"Good thing they evacuated," Ocarina said.

"Really good," Dusk agreed.

Speck took a deep breath, visibly steeled himself, and faced the rest of the Links with a determined expression.

"Well, what do we do now?" he asked.

"Now," Lore said, "we jump through the hole."

Speck yelped. "Are you crazy?! The Picori just lost their home to this thing, and you want to willingly hop in?"

"It's actually saner than it sounds," Steam assured him. "I can see the color spot, and... Red?"

"Yep!" Red said cheerfully.

"Red sees it too," Steam continued. "So we're all good."

"I have no idea what that means," Speck told him.

"It means the hole is safe," Steam replied. "Here, I'll show you." With that, Steam walked straight into the hole like he was walking through a doorway. Speck, after discovering that no-one else seemed to be particularly concerned about that, hesitantly walked through himself.

"Well that was anticlimactic," Blue said. "How an I supposed to prank the new guy if he takes everything in stride?"

"Are we in a prank war now?" Green asked his brother as they followed the group through the hole.

"Oh, absolutely," Blue grinned. "Just as soon as I find some black hair dye."

Green blinked.

* * *

As it turned out, the potions woman had a bottomless cauldron. So no matter how much red potion Link bought, he couldn't run her dry.

The implications both fascinated and depressed him.

So now, having filled all his glass bottles with potion, Link set about replenishing his stock in other ways. Bombs, for instance, were a must. Arrows too, those were vitally important. After that squid-thing, Tentalus, Link made sure he was never low on arrows.

He didn't need to buy a new shield, not since winning the Hylian Shield from the Thunder Dragon. Din, if that hadn't taken a while though.

Slingshot ammunition he could pick up from basically any Deku Baba he came across, so there really wasn't any point in purchasing that. Everything else he had was either self-powered, or worked just because.

So really, Link didn't have all that much to restock on at all.

Maybe instead, he thought, he could try and talk to Fi again, see if she had any answers. When he called on her, though, she had the same response as before.

"I do not have any information relevant to your current situation, Master. I apologize for my lack of assistance."

So that wasn't helpful at all then.

Well... he hadn't had a good night's sleep in a while, at least not in a bed. That was probably a good idea.

Link just hoped Demise wouldn't pop up while he was asleep.

* * *

Lore popped his head over a small hill in the woods that the group had emerged in.

"Where the heck are we?" he asked.

"No idea," Mask replied, craning his neck to look at the treetops and the strangely massive mushrooms.

"I can ask Ezlo," Speck volunteered. "He's pretty knowledgeable about this kind of stuff. Hey, Ezlo?"

There was no answer. The normally loud bird/hat just hung limply from Speck's head, the way a normal hat would. Speck, now worried, reached up and carefully lifted Ezlo off his hair.

"He's asleep!" Speck exclaimed.

"You're kidding me," Sketch said as the group crowded around. "He chooses now of all times to take a nap? What happened to that rousing speech he was giving?"

"This isn't really like him," Speck replied. He gave Ezlo a gentle shake. "Ezlo, wake up. We need to ask you something."

Ezlo made no response, other than to breathe more deeply.

Dusk suddenly snapped his fingers. "Midna mentioned this. She said she couldn't go with me through the hole because she wasn't protected the way I was."

"So then... what'll happen to Ezlo?" Speck asked, voice slightly trembling.

"Well, clearly he's not dead," Vio said. "My guess, he's in a sort of stasis. When you go back to your own time, he'll probably wake up and be just as cranky as before."

Speck smiled at that. "All the more reason to fix this quickly then, yeah?" So saying, he carefully put Ezlo back on his head. The bird-hat, unconscious though he was, tightened his grip on the Link's head so that he sat just as firmly as if he were awake. Speck, feeling this, grinned wider.

"Oh, CRAP!" Ocarina cried suddenly. He snatched his own hat off his head and tipped a small glowing ball into his palm.

"WHAT?!" Mask shrieked, staring at his other self's hand. "You had _Navi_ in your hat THIS WHOLE TIME?!"

"She was taking a nap! Then you showed up, and we met everyone else, and I sorta... kinda... forgot...?"

"You _forgot,_" Mask said slowly. "You _forgot_ our fairy companion. Who has been unconscious on your head since a week ago."

"Well, what about _your_ fairy, whats-her-name, Tatl?" Ocarina shot back. "Don't try and tell me you remembered her this entire time!"

"She's still back in Termina!" Mask countered. "And at least _I_ remembered where she was, unlike _somebody _I know!"

Ocarina paused in his comback as a thought ocurred to him. "... Er... this might be a good thing, actually."

Mask gaped at his older-but-younger self. "Explain."

"Well... when we get back, she's going to see two Heroes of Time."

Mask winced. "And she'll totally freak out."

Ocarina nodded. "So this way, we get a chance to think of either a good excuse, or a good way of explaining this to her."

Mask nodded slowly. "I can see the logic in that." He paused, then said, "I still can't believe you forgot she was there."

Ocarina winced. "Yeah... please, please, _please_ don't tell her I did that."

Mask smirked. "I make no promises."

Lore cleared his throat then, deciding that someone needed to be the mediator. The rest of the Links had been watching with wide eyes, some bigger than others as they remembered traveling partners they had left behind.

"Have we got that straightened out now?" Lore asked. Mask nodded, and Ocarina carefully put the sleeping form of Navi back inside his hat.

"I really hope you're right," he said to Vio.

"He hasn't been wrong yet," Blue said, slinging an arm around his counterpart's shoulder and making Vio stagger.

"So... shouldn't there be a Link around here somewhere?" Realm asked, looking around at the forest. Off in the distance, a fat black and white penguin-looking creature waddled into view, took one look at the group of Links, shrieked, and trundled off as fast as it's tiny legs could carry it.

The Links stared.

"...Well, I hope we find him soon," Sketch said. "This place is weird."

* * *

**Interesting thing, everyone. Thegeniusyoshi is planning to make his/her own spin-off of Dimensional Links. Please know that they did consult me first and I gave an 'okay' so please don't spam him/her with angry comments. Personally, I think this is awesome. I actually inspired someone to write a story based on my story. How cool is that?!**

**And here, readers/reviewers, is the answer to all those companion questions you kept asking. You guys have the darnedest habit of asking me things one chapter before I explain them. Good timing!**

**Until next time, **

**Changeling**

**(If you see any typos, let me know please!)**

* * *

**Thanks to bimboy and Jonaman123 for favoriting/following!**

**LuckyLugia: Answered in the chapter. Your timing is freakish, I swear.**


	18. Chapter 17

**(Alright... universe? I'm sorry I offended you by liking your modifications to my disclaimers. I promise that from here on out I will freak out appropriately at whatever you do. Deal?)**

**I do not, nor will I ever, own the Legend of Zelda.**

**(Oh boy. Um... this might take a while. Maybe I can tempt the universe with brownies...)**

* * *

"For the seventeenth time," Steam ground out, "we are not monsters. Now will you please stop doing that? It doesn't even work!"

The Kikwi Steam was talking to _eep_ed a little and threw himself face-first on the ground, his grass-tail flying open as he did. He was still blatantly obvious underneath his disguise. Steam facepalmed.

"What my friend is trying to say," Dusk said as he lifted the Kikwi up and stood him on his feet, "is that we need to ask you some questions. That's all."

"...You...You're not going to eat me?" the trembling penguin-creature asked.

"Definitely not, no," Steam said, shuddering.

"Ew," Sketch added.

"Okay then," the Kikwi said, straightening out and suddenly becoming almost confident. Almost. "What do you want to know?"

"We're looking for a guy who looks like us," Lore said. "Green clothes, floppy hat, probably has a bloody large sword clanking around on his back and usually trying to find something and/or someone. Ring any bells?"

The Kikwi thought for a moment. "There's usually a creature like that around here, but I haven't seen him in a while. He's always very busy."

"Doing what?" Wind asked.

"Well, the first time he was looking for a 'Zelda', whatever that means. The second time he was looking for a flower entrance and a dragon, and the third time he was looking for a song, but he helped us de-flood the forest first. He's also here a lot to fight this big monster with a head spike."

"Yep, that's a Link all right," Lore said.

"You guys have a monster?" Ocarina asked.

The Kikwi _eep_ed again and tried to faceplant, only to be snatched at the last second by Lore. He held the nervous creature a few inches above the ground and said, "Explain, please."

"It's scary," the Kikwi whispered. Lore sighed and set the Kikwi back on the dirt, where it promptly (and badly) disguised itself and pretended to be a bush.

"He's helpful," Mask said sarcastically.

"Actually, he was," Vio replied. "Apparently, this woods get frequented by the local Link, so all we have to do is wait for him to show up. And somehow there's also a dragon, a monster, and the woods was once flooded up to the top of that big tree in the middle."

"Thaaaat's a lot of water," Speck said. "Wait, how do you know how high it got?"

"Water line," Vio answered. "Anyways, we won't be bored while we wait. Who wants to find a spikey-headed monster?"

Unsurprisingly, no-one answered. The Links were cautious, not stupid.

"Right then," Lore decided. "First things first: nobody let Realm out of your sight or we'll never find him." Realm grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. "Second," Lore continued, "we might as well take a break. I could use a nap, and we're certainly not going anywhere until we find the local Link. Third, after my nap, I vote we head that way," he pointed off in a random direction, "because it looks marginally more interesting than that way." He pointed in another random direction. "Any objections?"

"**Why so many naps?**" the Four asked, in unison of course. "**Maybe we ought to have a training session instead?**"

"Because we can't fight stuff if we're tired," Lore answered promptly. "And I'm tired. I swam a bloody ocean, if you'll remember."

"**Er... no actually.**"

"They weren't here for the part when you explained things," Blue told him.

"Oh," Lore said, blinking. "Well, I did, and I'm still tired. So wake me up in about an hour." With that, the sort-of leader of the group flopped down onto the ground and almost immediately started snoring. The rest of the Links stared in confusion.

"Vio, we might need to add sleeping on command to the list of Lore's abilities," Sketch said.

"Duly noted," Vio said with a sigh as he too sat down. The rest of the group followed suit, with Dusk only narrowly missing the Kikwi as he did. Luckily the small creature was still hiding (badly) and failed to notice.

Ocarina took off his hat and carefully tipped Navi into his palm. She was still firmly unconscious and showed no signs of waking up. Speck, noticing this, hopefully turned his attention to Ezlo.

The bird-hat let out an ear-grating snore instead.

Speck sighed, and scooted over to Ocarina and Mask, who were taking turns poking Navi.

"She still won't wake up?" he asked.

"Nope," Ocarina sighed. Mask, on the other hand, cracked a wry smile and poked the fairy again.

"This is the perfect opportunity for revenge," he explained at Speck's questioning look. "She put me through a lot of grief, shouting like that all the time."

Speck frowned. "What'd she do?"

"Well, picture Ezlo," Mask said. "Now replace his complaining bossiness with annoyingly useless and vague warnings and multiply it by five-hundred thousand and two."

Speck's eyes grew wide.

"Exactly," Mask said, poking Navi again. Ocarina scowled and moved his hand to protect his fairy.

"Come on, she's not that bad," he argued.

"Give it a few more weeks," Masks snorted. "See how you feel about defending her once she lea- never mind," he finished quickly.

"What?" Ocarina asked.

"Spoilers," his counterpart told him.

Ocarina rolled his eyes, but dropped the subject. "Anyways, she means well," he said. "She's just being protective."

"Sure," Mask mumbled. Then he poked her again.

"Alright, that's it!" Ocarina hid Navi underneath his hat again. "Until she wakes up, I'm keeping her safe from you and your fingers!"

"Are you talking about your fairy?" Wind asked suddenly. The three Links froze, Mask reaching for Ocarina's hat, Ocarina leaning away, and Speck trying to hold Mask back.

"Yeah," Ocarina replied after a moment.

Wind smiled. "I have a fairy companion back home. Her name is Ciela."

"Is she incessantly chattering useless warnings in your ear?" Mask questioned.

"No, Ciela was pretty helpful," Wind said. "She lost her memory, and I decided to help her."

"Did she ever get it back?" Speck asked.

"Yeah, it was wandering around in the form of a young girl."

"Wait, what?"

"Er... long story," Wind said. "Anyways, I guess I'm just a little apprehensive. I didn't really say anything before I left with you guys... she's probably worried."

"You'll see her again," Ocarina said. "We just have to fix the holes, and we'll be good."

"Because it'll totally be that easy," Steam said from behind Wind, having been listening to the conversation.

Ocarina determinedly ignored him. "She'll just chew you out for worrying her and then everything will go back to normal."

"Normal..." Wind mused. "I know this isn't exactly what we would call 'normal', but I'll probably miss all this craziness once it's over."

"Like we'd let you escape," Mask snorted. "We two-" he motioned to himself and Ocarina, "-we're the legendary Hero of Time. If anyone can mess with the fabric of a timeline and finagle a visit, it's us. I'd be prepared to see a whole lot of random Links popping up afterwards if I were you."

Wind gave them a grin that was actually almost cocky. "I look forward to that then."

"This is bloody touching and all," Lore said grumpily, "but I am trying to sleep here. So SHUSH!"

The Links decided it might be a good idea to shush.

* * *

"I have been through a swamp-hole of a dungeon, musical torture, idiocy torture, climbed a ridiculously tall tree, _not_ killed every Kikwi I came across, and have been forced to put up with my utterly useless hatred incarnations," Demise snarled. "I am _not_ in a mood to be argued with. Now _move, _BEFORE I KILL YOU!" These last words were uttered at a full-throated roar and nearly blew the teepee-shaped hat off of the old woman in front of him.

"I don't take kindly to bullies, young man," she said, shaking a slow finger at him. Somehow the swinging of her braid wasn't interrupted in the slightest.

"_Do you know who I am?_" Demise growled, barely keeping himself from strangling her.

The old woman nodded her head in time with her braid. "You are the one who wants entrance to the Sacred Grounds. However, you are going about it all wrong."

"Then _how_ would you suggest I go about it?" Demise ground out, ignoring the snickering inside his head.

_I would think, you being the deity of destruction and all, that you would simply smash the door and destroy everything in your path, _Twilight Ganondorf told him.

"I have been reconstituting my body for millenia, I think I can be forgiven for not immediately remembering I can destroy things," Demise said through clenched teeth. He then promptly destroyed the door standing in his way, as well as most of the wall. It made a rather ghastly noise as part of the building more-or-less exploded, and a very large cloud of smoke accompanied it as well. Regrettably, the old teepee woman had mysteriously vanished, thus preventing Demise from taking out his anger and frustration on her. He compromised by violently destroying the rest of the building.

And somehow, he managed to frighten off a Kikwi in the process.

Demise stepped through the smoldering remains of the temple and stood on the edge of the Sealed Grounds. The slowly spiraling landscape was the only thing he recognized in this entire accursed woods, on account of him having to climb the slope every time he had tried to escape before. If the path weren't necessary for the Hero to have a slow and dramatic approach full of monster attacks, Demise would destroy it too.

Unfortunately, slow and dramatic approaches full of monster attacks were a staple of Villainry 101. So the spiral path was indeed necessary.

* * *

Link woke up with the distinct feeling that something had exploded. Weeks of trudging around hauling bombs and dealing with their finicky timing had trained him to have almost a sixth sense when it came to explosions.

As if on cue, Fi came spiraling out of the Master Sword. "Master, I am picking up a disturbance in the area known as Faron Woods. I predict a 95% chance that Demise has appeared. Immediate action is recommended."

"What else would I do if Demise was involved?" Link asked her. Fi cocked her head.

"I do not understand your query, Master."

"Never mind," Link said. Fi nodded and vanished into the Master Sword with a flourish and a sparkling flash. Link flung himself off the bed, thanking himself for the seemingly ridiculous idea of sleeping in his uniform, snatched his shield and scabbard off the dresser, and pounded out of the Skyloft Academy looking like a horde of angry Cuccos were after him. He leapt off the nearest balcony into the airspace of Skyloft and whistled for his bird almost immediately. Like always, the faithful companion came at his call and caught Link with ease.

Link steered his bird towards the green spear of light that marked the entrance to the Faron Woods. Once he was in position, he rolled off the back of his mount and made a controlled fall through the cloud barrier. As he fell, Fi spoke up in her usual fashion.

"Where would you like to descend, Master?"

Link considered this for a few seconds. On one hand, Demise would be most likely to surface in the Sealed Grounds. On the other hand, he doubted Impa would have allowed an explosion like that to happen close to the temple. Plus, if his previous experience was anything to judge by, the Kikwis were almost certainly freaking out right about now.

"Faron Woods," Link decided. Fi inclined her head, and a few seconds later Link whipped out the sailcloth to avoid a painful collision. When he looked up, however, he was met with an extremely bizarre sight.

There was a large group of boys, ranging from quite young to upper teens. They all had extremely similar facial structures, they were all wearing green tunics of varying detail, and they all had a sword and shield strapped to their back.

Most of them were also laughing at a deku scrub, who seemed absolutely livid.

"Really?!" the scrub yelled. "We're doing this again?! I thought we were over this!"

"If you're going to sleep, we're going to prank," one of the younger boys gasped before doubling over in laughter.

"Come on, being a rabbit was bad enough!" the deku scrub yelled. "I don't even know _how_ to reverse this!"

Another one of the younger boys walked up to the deku scrub, smiling, and tapped the bush-like creature on the nose. "It's a mask," he explained. "You want to take it off."

"MASK!" the deku scrub bellowed. Link got the impression that the word was being used as a title rather than an object.

"Why'd you spoil it?" the younger boy from before whined. "He was giving such a good reaction too..."

The deku scrub reached up to it's face and pulled something off. There was a bright white flash and the impression of something twisting, and suddenly there was yet another boy in green with a sword. This one was in his upper teens, and was also very, very mad.

"What even is this?" he cried, flailing something around in his hand. Link caught a glimpse of what looked like the face of a deku scrub. _That must be what the boy meant by a mask..._

"It's one of my transformation masks," the younger boy said, suddenly serious. "Don't break it, there's a soul in there."

The older boy looked at the mask in his hand, and promptly handed it back. "I don't want to know," he said.

At this point, Link decided he ought to do something. He cleared his throat and watched as several pairs of eyes snapped up and focused directly on him

"Uh... hi," Link said. "Would anyone care to tell me why you all are running amok in Faron? And why you blew something up?"

"That wasn't us," one of the older boys said. "We thought it was probably you."

"I only just got down from Skyloft," Link replied, confused. "It couldn't have been me."

Fi suddenly decided to make herself a part of the conversation. "Master, I have located the source of the disturbance. It is emanating from the Sealed Grounds."

Link spun and stared at the cloud of smoke billowing up from the direction of the temple. "Oh... _crud_."

The group of boys behind him were abruptly serious, and they seemed to have the same idea as Link. They all began sprinting towards the smoke tower at the same time. Link found himself running next to one of the older boys, this one being a dark brunet.

"Hi," he panted.

"Hi," Link gasped in reply. "I'm Link. What's your name?"

"Link," the boy replied. Link tripped and nearly fell flat on his face. Thankfully he caught himself before that happened.

"What?" he said as he regained his stride. The other boy had a bit of a wry smirk on his face.

"Just call me Realm," he said. "It's easier to differentiate that way. Oh, and if Red wants to give you a nickname, just smile and go with it."

"I have no idea what that means," Link said between breaths.

"You will," Realm told him.

* * *

The Three goddesses had eventually managed to track the source of the spell causing the holes to Demise. Naturally, this had shocked them beyond belief, seeing as how Demise was supposed to be dissolved. Except for the part where he wasn't.

Of course, their first reaction was to send Courage. But seeing as how he was already on his way, there wasn't much to do in that department.

Their second reaction was damage control. They had been invisibly encouraging the Kikwis to run ever since Demise had landed himself in Faron. And there had been many, _many_ times when the Kikwis had needed to be encouraged to run. The goddesses were also the reason that the woman Impa had been unharmed. Her sudden and timely absence was the courtesy of one teleportation spell from Farore, landing her in safety.

Buildings, however, weren't very high on the sister's agenda. Which was why the temple at the Sealed Grounds was now in complete ruin.

"I _hate_ not being able to do more," Din said, kicking at a piece of rubble.

"We're no match for him and we all know it," Farore scolded her sister. "I think we have done enough. We have ensured that there were no casualties."

"Five slightly unintelligent penguin-creatures and one old woman," Din scowled. "I feel so important."

"You don't think they valued their lives?" Nayru asked. "You don't think they are grateful for being alive when they would otherwise be not?"

"I do," Din admitted. "But... I'm the goddess of Power. It's in my nature to fight, to _do_ something. Having to sit around and let an Attribute do it all for me is..."

"Infuriating," Farore offered.

"Exactly," Din agreed.

"But for now, it's all we can do," Nayru said softly. A light breeze kicked up, stirring the dust from the fallen stone walls and making their forms waver slightly.

"...So, as long as we're just going to watch this showdown," Din said, "I'm going for snacks. Who wants popcorn?"

"Cheddar, please," Farore said. Nayru facepalmed.

* * *

"You want to name me _what?_" Link asked incredulously. He'd gotten the full introductory speech on the run over and was now being accosted by Red, who was producing a surprisingly accurate image of an adorable puppy.

"_Please?_" Red pleaded. "It would be like a nickname for your nickname! It still sounds cool, and it's not nearly as much as a mouthful."

"He's only going this route because you won't accept Sky or Chosen," Steam informed him.

"Because Chosen is pretentious, and Sky is obvious," Link shot back. "Just because my title is the Chosen Hero doesn't mean I want to use it. And just because I happen to live on a floating island in the sky doesn't mean I need to be named after it!"

"So that just leaves the concept of 'first'," Vio said. "Which is where Red is coming from on this."

"But... _Genesis_?" Link said. "I mean, it sounds kinda cool and all, but... _Genesis?_"

"Which is why we would just call you Gen," Red chirped, puppy impersonation at full power. "It would be short for your full nickname and it's easier to say. Please?"

Link opened his mouth, thought about it for a minute, then sighed. "I hate you all."

"Yay!" Red cheered, completely disregarding the statement of bad feelings.

"You can't hate us already, we've only just met," Blue said, smirking. The newly named Gen just rolled his eyes.

"If you're quite done," a deep, angry voice interrupted. Gen turned around to see Demise standing at the bottom of the Sealed Grounds in all of his fire-haired glory and gave him a death glare. The rest of the Links just looked mildly confused.

"Uh... not to be rude, but who the heck are you?" Steam asked.

"I am Demise, Lord of Destruction and Master of Demons," Demise growled. "And right now, I am _not_ in a good mood. Prepare to be obliterated slowly and very, _very_ painfully."

"Er... right," Sketch said slowly. "Hey, uh, Gen?"

"Yeah?" Gen said, getting used to hearing his new nickname.

"Is this guy native for you?"

"What?"

"He wants to know if this 'Demise' is from your time," Wind explained.

"Oh. Yeah, he's the guy who's trying to destroy everything. And I mean that literally."

"Ooh, fancy," Lore said. "Hey, Flame-head!" he shouted down into the pit. "You said you were a Lord of Destruction, yeah?"

"_The_ Lord of Destruction, insolent whelp," Demise snarled.

"That's great, that's great. Now, I've got a question for you," Lore said. "We've been running all throughout the timeline trying to fix these nasty little holes that have been popping up everywhere. See, they like to destroy whatever they touch. And here you are calling yourself a Lord of Destruction-"

"_THE _Lord!"

"-so I couldn't help but wonder, might you be the cause of our lovely little friends?"

"That," said Blue, "is a deductive leap worthy of Vio. I think I've been underestimating you."

"I try," Lore said, shrugging.

"As a matter of fact, I am," Demise said with a twisted grin. Which almost immediately morphed into a grimace. "Stop hijacking my evil monologue!" he snapped. The Links exchanged confused glances.

"...Nobody said anything..." Dusk ventured.

"Yes I was!" Demise continued, ignoring the Links entirely. "I was just getting started when you interrupted me!"

"Who are you talking to?" Green asked loudly. Demise's head snapped towards the group and he leered at them.

"Oh, just some friends of yours," he said in a somewhat worrying tone. "We've all been waiting to see you again."

"We?" Realm muttered nervously.

"In particular..." Demise trailed off, slowly moving a finger to point directly at Mask. "I have a special friend who very much wants to get... _reacquainted_ with you."

"Thaaat's not creepy at all," Mask said.

"Oh, and if you want to fix Hyrule and stop the void," Demise said, "you'll have to defeat me first."

"With pleasure," Gen snarled. And the group of Links began the charge down the slowly spiraling path of the Sealed Grounds. Because it was traditional to have a long and dramatic approach filled with monster attacks. Anything else would just be rude.

* * *

**And there we have it, everyone. I do believe this is my first cliffhanger in a good while. Now you shall all have to wait three more days to find out what happens next! (instert evil laughter).**

**That aside, I decided to try and be a little more serious for this bit. I don't quite think my normal approach of bordering on parody is going to work for a fight scene. I still tried to have some funny bits in there though, because I'm actually quite terrible at serious scenes, but I suppose that's just my style. Good thing you all seem to like it ;) **

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to MarronAaron, Pheonix Keeper Avalon, paradoxsteel, , Thrilling Sentience, AriaEnoshima, Vanillite the Dragonslayer, The Mistress of Shadow Dragons, and BluMew for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**Guest: Glad you like it!**

**Guest #2: Yes, SS Link is in here.**

**Jonaman123: No, I'm more focused on the Links. I read a fanfic a while back that ended up using all the Zeldas to defeat the villains, didn't really want to steal their thunder. Speaking of which, thank you for the correction on the shield! I thought I knew this time... note to self, always check the internet.**

**XzDaFelixZ: Essentially, I know just about everything about all the adventures, whether through personal experience or just a whole dang lot of internet research. No, I am most certainly not planning to end this now... how could I call this a Zelda story if it didn't drag on a lot longer than you thought it would? I didn't forget Mask's ocarina, but if he took both then Ocarina himself wouldn't have anything to be special with. Fi is a plot point, so Spoilers! I'm not telling. As for the pictobox... I will think on this.**

**bruh: Good idea. I didn't think of that... And now it is changed. Thanks! **

**jakeroo123: Keep reading and you'll find out ;)**

**LuckyLugia: If you'll remember Vio's theory, all the holes connect to each other.**

** : Thank you! And, no, I'm not using any of those. One, because none of those are timeline-canon. Two, because the CDI games are evil incarnate. Three, because the T.V. show is really, ****_really_**** bad. As hilarious as it would be to include a Link that spectacularly incompetent, I feel like it would just be really... painful. So no, sorry. **

**Vanillite the Dragonslayer: Pretty much, yep. **

**Demon King73: I don't actually know who that is. I'm gonna go look him up, but in the meantime I'm gonna say non-timeline canon. ...And, after internet research, I support my previous statement. Non-canon, I believe.**

**Guest #3: See, I considered that. But I really feel that Lore is the most qualified, being the most experienced. He just hasn't figured that out yet. I think... if SS Link ever ended up in a leadership position, it would be joint leadership. Maybe.**


	19. Chapter 18

**(Alright universe, I made you brownies. Now- and I can't believe I'm saying this- would you please start messing with my disclaimers again? Just... maybe let one every once in a while be relevant to the actual story here, okay?)**

**I...do...not own the Legend of Zelda. I do, however, own Banjo Kazooie.**

**(YES! ...Ahem. I mean... Curse you, Universe!)**

* * *

As the Links began their slow and dramatic approach down the spiral path, Demise shot lightning at them. But this wasn't just your ordinary lightning, oh no. This lightning was defying logic by somehow managing to also be on fire.

"Don't you think this might be a little overkill?!" Green yelped as he ran, ducking under a flaming lightning bolt as he did. The entire cliffside behind him exploded.

"Absolutely not!" Demise yelled back, and shot more flaming lightning. Another cliff exploded. In spite of this, Demise's aim was actually quite good. The only reason he was missing was that the Links happened to be just as good at dodging.

"Guys, I've got an idea!" Ocarina yelled over a resounding _boom_ of a lightning strike. "Who here has a mirror shield?"

Lore, Wind and Speck all called an affirmative.

"Alright, we should be closest to Demise!" Ocarina decided. "Try and reflect his lightning back at him as you run!"

"This had better not kill me!" Lore bellowed as he swung his very shiny shield into position. Speck gulped. Wind just went with it.

Immediately, Wind's shield was hit dead-on by a flaming strike. The bolt bounced off the reflective barrier, ricocheted crazily, and slammed into Demise's abdomen instead.

Aside from causing a slight pause and a little bit of smoke, it only seemed to make him angrier.

"That was nothing compared to the bagpipe torture!" he declared, shooting off multiple spurts of lightning and adding in a radial pulse for good measure.

"That's just not fair!" Blue cried, as both the radial electric pulse and a fiery bolt came straight at him. He threw himself into a complicated maneuver that ended in him doing a midair split as the pulse passed underneath and the bolt passed overhead. Any Links that weren't already occupied winced.

"I think I strained something..." Blue whimpered when he landed.

"Complain about it later, move!" Red shrieked, bodily hauling Blue out of the way of another flaming lightning bolt.

At this point, the group had only made it about a quarter of the way down, progress being impeded by the need to dodge. Demise however, decided that this was far too much progress already and spawned a monster horde directly in front of the Links. And he didn't discriminate between monster species either.

"Why-" Ocarina panted, stabbing at the surrounding mob, "are there-" he leapt back as a monster attempted to return the favor, "_Stalchildren_ here?"

"The little skeleton things? I've never seen them before!" Gen yelled, trying to run through the mass of bodies and failing.

"And come to think of it, why is his lightning on fire?" Mask asked loudly, ducking under a spear. "Did he do that before?"

"I don't know!" Gen cried. "I've never fought him like this before!"

"JUMP!" Lore bellowed suddenly. Another radial pulse came in, passing under the feet of the Links who had all made startled leaps at Lore's command.

"This is getting us nowhere," Wind yelled, suddenly louder than he'd ever been before. "Does everyone know the Spin Attack?"

"That's a rather stupid question considering that we're all swordsmen!" Steam hollered back.

"Just do it!" Wind shouted. The monster horde was suddenly nonexistent due to a lot of fancy swordplay.

"DUCK!" Lore screeched, spotting an incoming bolt of flaming lightning. The entire group hit the deck almost simultaneously.

"**We were not prepared for this!**" the Four yelled as yet another cliffside exploded and caused a miniature rockslide.

"Do you mean you guys, or all of us?" Sketch wanted to know.

"**Probably all of us,**" the Four decided, then yelped and shot sideways as another fiery lightning bolt crashed in.

"I would concur with that!" Vio cried, leaping over a smoking hole from the lightning.

"FEEL MY WRATH!" Demise bellowed, suddenly interspersing his fiery lightning with strange yellow light flashes. The Links decided to take the yellow flashes a lot more seriously when an unfortunate piece of grass which had somehow survived all the carnage so far was spontaneously petrified after taking a direct hit from one of the beams. Wind stared at it in disbelief.

"But... that's _Bellum's_ power."

"The squid?" Blue yelled as he ran.

"Yeah! He turns people to stone by sucking out their life force!"

"How did Demise get-" Green began, but was promptly interrupted by Demise yelling at nothing.

"I will use your power if I want to, octopus!" he raged. The Links, although running for their lives (they were about halfway down at this point), stared.

"You don't think..." Dusk began.

"That's impossible," Wind breathed. Then yelped and ducked under a petrification blast.

"Okay, so he's got Bellum in his head," Realm reasoned. "It could be worse, you know. There could be more of them in there."

"Actually..." Vio said, running as fast as he could go.

"Nonono, don't make a theory!" Blue pleaded. "Whenever you make a theory in the middle of a battle it always ends up being really bad!"

"Well, remember how Bellum disappeared and left a hole? And how all of our villains did the same thing?"

"I told you no," Blue groaned, subconsciously dodging a lightning bolt.

"You mean... they're _all_ in there?!" Speck yelled over yet another explosion from the lightning Blue dodged.

Mask paled. "Oh... CRUD. _Please_ don't tell me he's got Majora..."

"Hey, Flame-head!" Lore shouted. "How many people have you got in that noggin of yours?"

"Far more than there should be!" Demise snarled. And shot Twilight magic at them.

"Okay, he has Zant," Dusk said, sounding half-annoyed, half-panicked.

"Not the rabbit again!" Lore shrieked, dodging as if his life depended on it.

"He should NOT be able to do that!" Gen yelled. Another unfortunate piece of grass became the victim of a Twilight blast, shriveling up and turning a strange shade of yellow-black in a shower of squares. Dusk cursed and pulled out his Curse Stone.

"Why are you doing that?" Realm shouted.

"Because I'll be immune!" Dusk yelled back before snatching the Stone from the pouch and transforming.

"Yeah, but now we can't understand you..." Steam muttered. Dusk snarled at him, but not in a threatening way. Steam suddenly got the intense impression that he should duck, and did so accordingly, just in time for a Twilight blast to shoot straight over his head and splash on Dusk's side, where it had no effect at all.

"Thanks," he gasped. Dusk cocked his head at him in a confused fashion and growled something. Steam received the vague feeling of a question and shrugged.

"Dunno, dude. This probably isn't the best time to- DODGE!"

Dusk flattened himself as a petrification blast rocketed over his back and barely brushed the top of his fur before hitting a cliff wall and making the rock more... rocky. Dusk craned his head back to examine his now distinctly stone fur tips and shuddered with a slight whine.

"Don't mention it," Steam panted, having gotten the impression of a thank-you, and also slightly shaken by the close call. "Now start moving before he gets the rest of you!"

Dusk took off like a shot, with the rest of the Links following as fast as they could. There was a slight pause as everyone jumped over another radial pulse, then the frantic running resumed.

"**We feel like we should have seen this coming!**" the Four hollered.

"Yeah, he did say 'we' earlier, didn't he," Speck said. "Yeah, we're really _not_ prepared for this!" He then got knocked off his feet by a radial pulse of flaming electricity, having not been paying much attention.

"How were we supposed to know he was hosting?!" Lore sputtered as he dragged Speck to his feet and pulled him along. "Most of us didn't even know who he was until five minutes ago!"

"DUCK!" Gen yelled, dragging both Lore and Speck to the ground again. A petrification blast streaked over their heads a second later.

"I love you right now," Lore gasped.

"You have a Mirror Shield, you idiot!" Gen shouted over a lightning strike. "Use it!"

"Oh yeah..." Lore muttered, once again swinging the shield into blocking position. By this point, Speck had recovered and began running on his own again, pulling out his own Mirror Shield as he did.

Seeing the two of them with their Mirror Shields out, Ocarina and Wind pulled theirs around as well. Which was a good thing, because now they were about three-fourths of the way down, causing Demise to send out a radial pulse made of Twilight magic and spawn another monster horde for good measure. The four Links with Mirror shields and Dusk, who was currently immune, blockaded the Twilight pulse while the rest of the group hacked at the mob. This caused the entire group to shuffle along and look rather like a flock of penguins.

Unfortunately, penguins were extremely similar to Kikwis. And Demise hated Kikwis. Consequently, the attacks on the group of Links increased exponentially.

"I don't know how we did it, but I think we just made him a whole lot angrier!" Speck cried as projectile after projectile hammered into his shield in rapid succession. None of the reflected shots were connecting with Demise either, because they were getting countered by everything Demise was throwing out.

"**Just keep blocking!**" the Four encouraged as they all slashed four different enemies simultaneously.

"Easy for you to say!" Lore griped, bracing himself to take the next series of hits.

* * *

On the other side of the spectrum, the villains in Demise's head were having the time of their lives. Majora, in particular, was especially enjoying the fight.

_YOU WILL ALL BURN!_ The mask cried ecstatically as it channeled more power into setting Demise's lightning on fire. It then proceeded to burst into maniacal laughter. Naturally, Zant joined in.

"Quit laughing, you're distracting me!" Demise snapped.

_And annoying the rest of us,_ Original Ganon muttered.

_NONE SHALL STOP MY DEFEAT OF THE ELFLING!_ Majora screeched. It then set Bellum's petrification blasts on fire as well.

Demise let a feral grin onto his face. "Oh, I _like_ this trend."

* * *

"HOW IS THAT FAIR?!" Blue yelled indignantly as a nearby surviving tree was tranformed into a statue that also happened to be on fire.

"IT ISN'T!" Demise roared back, clearly enjoying himself. The Links were only a few steps away from reaching the bottom of the pit where Demise stood, and the Demon King wasn't about to make those steps easy. He made a convoluted gesture and randomly spawned a rather evil-looking train, which blew it's evil sounding horn and, without any tracks whatsoever, drove itself straight at the group of Links. Everyone scattered.

Steam in particular was incredibly put off by this. "You can't summon the Demon Train, that's cheating!" he yelled as he threw himself off to the left.

"Why should I care?" Demise shouted. Steam scowled, unable to come up with a good retort to that. When your opponent was a literal King of Demons, lecturing him about rules wasn't exactly an option.

"He's got Malladus," he hissed to the rest of the group. "That's how he got the Demon Train."

"Well, summon the Spirit Train!" Lore cried, then yelped as he ducked behind his Mirror Shield to avoid a flaming petrification bolt.

**"**I can't just summon the Train, it needs tracks!" Steam yelled. "Besides, how would I even get it here? It doesn't exist yet!"

* * *

Up on a surviving cliff, the goddesses were eating cheddar popcorn and watching the spectacle with enthusiasm. Upon hearing Steam's question, Nayru turned to her sisters with a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Shall we?" she asked.

"Oh, _absolutely_," Din said, grinning fiercely.

"This," declared Farore with great satisfaction, "is going to be _good_."

* * *

"That's a whole lot of excuses for someone who claims to be fond of trains!" Sketch shouted. Then a Twilight bolt screamed in aimed straight for his face. In the heat of the moment, Sketch instinctively fused himself into the cliff face as a painting, and the Twilight magic dispersed uselessly against the rock. _Why didn't I think of this sooner?_ Sketch wondered to himself. Then a flaming lightning blast shattered the cliff face inches away from his painted body, and Sketch abruptly remembered why he hadn't. He popped off the wall as fast as he could manage.

Steam, who'd had his own dodging problems, had failed to notice this. "I'll have you know," he snapped, "it so happens that I _like_ trains."

Abruptly, there was the sound of a train whistle, and the Spirit Train came rocketing through the battlefield and flattened all the leftover monsters from the most recently spawned horde. If they weren't in mortal danger of dying due to deadly projectiles, the Links would have been standing with their mouths open.

"_WHAT?!_" Steam spluttered.

* * *

The goddesses fell over laughing.

"Oh, that was _perfect!_" Din gasped, doubled over from mirth.

"Connect it with that phrase," Farore urged through her giggles.

"Every time he says 'I like trains' you mean?" Nayru said.

"Okay, yeah, that might be a little vague," Farore decided. "Connect it to his Spirit Flute too, that way he won't have to sound silly."

"But it was so, _so_ worth it!" Din said before bursting out into more hysterical laughter and falling over entirely.

* * *

"Did you just perform a summon by saying 'I like trains'?" Vio asked incredulously.

"Live now, questions later!" Steam shrieked as yet another radial pulse closed in. This one, however, was accompanied by both a flaming lightning bolt _and_ a flaming petrification blast.

"**This is ****_not_**** cool!**" the Four yelled as they dodged. Steam and Vio opted for the flattening-themselves option and the radial pulse missed them by centimeters.

And suddenly Demise was right in front of them.

* * *

"Well now," Demise said, his voice sounding unnaturally loud in the looming silence that now reigned over the ruined Sealed Grounds. After all the explosions and screaming, the lack of noise was almost a physical entity.

"You," Lore said, pointing his Golden Sword at Demise, "are going down. _Hard_."

Demise chuckled dryly. It sounded like thunder. "I'd like to see you try, _boy._"

"I take offense to that," Lore snapped.

"I know," Demise replied. "That was the point." His face abruptly contorted into an expression of disdain. "Stop screaming, I'm getting to it!" he snarled.

"Er, who-" Mask tried.

"I have a... friend in here who is _annoyingly_ anxious to burn you," Demise interrupted, focusing on Mask with a somewhat concerning intensity.

"Burn?" Mask said with a small gulp. "You... wouldn't happen to know Majora by any chance, would you?"

Demise paused for a moment and cocked his head, listening to something only he could hear.

"Majora is most gratified you remember him," he recited. "However, he wishes me to inform you that his lack of physical presence will not impede his ability to torture you within an inch of your life. He also wishes me to inform you that he is highly unlikely to stop within an inch of your life and is _much_ more likely to go all the way."

"...Good to know," Mask said in a small voice.

"Oh, and he extends that privilege to _all_ of you," Demise added as an afterthought. The entire group shuddered.

"Okay, I see why you called Majora nightmare fuel now," Ocarina muttered to his younger-but-older self. "Glad to know what I have to look forward to."

**"**_SILENCE!_" Demise hissed. "Now... face me, or die."

The deity stretched out his left hand and a jagged black sword shot into the pit hilt-first. Demise caught it with ease and made a sharp slashing motion, ending with the sword at his side.

"That's Ghirahim, I think," Gen said.

"Who?" Dusk asked, who had shifted back during the small speech.

"Sparkly diamond guy, I'll explain later," Gen replied, eyes on Demise. "But he's referenced this a couple of times... he's Demise's sword."

"The sword is alive?" Red asked incredulously.

"Yes, but this is an evil sword," Blue told his brother. "It's okay to hit it."

"Oh," Red said, still sounding slightly confused.

Demise abruptly put an end to the conversation by charging. Gen yelped and shot forward, locking his Master Sword with Demise's and providing a few precious seconds for the rest of the Links to move. Unfortunately for Gen, Demise had the strength of sixteen more overpowered villains behind him. The difference in power was laughable.

Gen was thrown all the way to the wall, where he slumped over in a daze. Not yet unconscious, though he was barely holding on.

"GEN!" Wind yelled.

"Oh, this just got personal," Dusk snarled ferally. Defying all laws of logic and physics, he somehow pulled an entire ball and chain out of his adventure pouch, staggered briefly under its weight, then launched it at Demise's head with all the strength he could muster. At the same time, Wind came closing in from the back, wielding a very large hammer that appeared to be made of a skull.

Demise glanced at the two of them, gave one, smug chuckle, and _caught_ both of the incoming projectiles. Then he pulled.

Wind and his hammer went flying across the clearing. Dusk's ball and chain were yanked violently from his hands and collided with Wind in midair. All three landed in a heap a few feet away from Gen.

Dusk, on the other hand, lurched forwards on account of being unbalanced by Demise's countermeasure. Demise took the opportunity of a Link off guard and bashed him in the shoulder with the pommel of his blade. Dusk dropped like a stone, his left arm suddenly useless due to the fact that his shoulder was now dislocated. His legs were working just fine, however, and he quickly lurched out of the way as Demise made to slice him.

At this point, Red, Blue, Vio, and Green decided to tag-team Demise and launched an assault from four different directions. While the Demon King was occupied, Dusk made his way over to Gen and Wind and pulled his ball and chain off of the smaller Link. Underneath the heavy weaponry, Wind was thoroughly unconscious.

"Oh, crud crud crud..." Dusk breathed. Behind him, Demise bellowed something and smacked Red and Vio into a wall. At the noise, Gen stirred and muttered something.

"What?" Dusk asked loudly, leaning in closer.

"I have red potion," Gen said, sounding half-concussed. "S'in my bag."

"How much have you got?" Dusk questioned, fumbling with the bag strap as he only had one arm to work with.

"Some," Gen groaned. Clearly, he wasn't coherent enough to be much more help. Dusk managed to pull out a bottle of the health drink and gave half of it to Wind and most of the rest to Gen, who instantly became a whole lot more lucid. The last mouthful he drank himself, which healed his shoulder almost completely.

Demise bellowed again as the Four and Speck joined Green and Blue in the fight. While the Four did their battle formation thing, a slightly panicked Green tried to keep an absolutely furious Blue from making a kamikaze attack. In the meantime, Speck for some reason pulled out a pot from his bag, which inhaled, pulled in the loose surrounding rubble, and then strafed Demise with flaming debris.

This would have worked brilliantly if the Twilight shield hadn't spawned around Demise at that exact moment.

The Four, who were closest, got blasted back by the force of the shield and landed on top of one another in a heap. Oddly enough, only one of the Four passed out. The other three members hauled each other to their feet, stared down at the unconscious green member, and collectively facepalmed.

"**This does not bode well,**" they decided, then yelped and ducked as Blue came crashing in, thoroughly out of it.

"I thought you were holding him!" Speck panted, dancing out of the way of his opponent while his Gust Jar spewed more fiery rocks.

"He got away," Green said redundantly. Demise made a swing at him and Green ducked underneath his shield to avoid the hit. He then took the opportunity to stab at Demise's knees.

Demise kicked him instead.

Green landed next to Dusk and Gen, who were supporting each other as they hobbled around and rationed out red potions. "We were _not _prepared for this..." Green muttered as his vision split into doubles and started dancing the Macarena. Dusk winced in sympathy and started digging for another bottle with the arm that wasn't supporting his teammate.

The rest of the Links had been standing back and trying to develop a strategy. The only problem with that was nobody knew what Demise was capable of, and the only Link who did was barely coherent.

"Okay, so maybe we don't have any ideas," Lore concluded, watching Speck dodge around Demise like a fly. "But that doesn't mean we can't fight him!"

"It just means it's a bad idea," Realm said.

"It's not like there's anything else we can do!" Lore said forcefully. "If we surrender, Hyrule is doomed. If we fight, at least we have a chance."

"...I hate logic," Sketch grumbled as he phased into the wall. He hieroglyph-walked his way around the wall until he was directly behind Demise, then shot off the cliff-face with his sword aimed directly at Demise's back.

At the same time, Lore and Realm closed in from either side.

Speck was still shooting rocks from his jar, though he was running out of available ammunition.

Steam, after debating with his dignity for a minute, tried a summons again.

"Er... I like trains...?" he said hesitantly.

The Spirit Train randomly spawned from nowhere, let out a piercing whistle, and charged straight for Demise. Steam stared, half in disbelief, half in complete fanboy heaven.

Mask and Ocarina tag-teamed by shooting as many light arrows as they possibly could. Ocarina created the arrows using the power of the Light medallion, while Mask shot the arrows from his Hero's Bow as fast as Ocarina could make them.

Demise smirked.

And everything exploded.

A massive power blast roared out from the Demon King, spreading in a concentric circular dome that had no weak points at all. Every bit of pent up anger, frustration, and destructive force that had been building ever since Demise had cast his original spell unleashed itself in a singular destructive force with the sole intention of obliterating everything in its path. Every power Demise had gained through that same spell had a part in the dome, from multiple petrification/life-draining spells, to Triforce-of-Power energy blasts.

Put simply, this attack was unsurvivable.

* * *

"_Not this time,_" Farore snarled as she and her sisters cast their own spell.

* * *

When the smoke finally cleared away, all Demise saw was ashes. None of the Links were in sight. The Sealed Grounds had essentially been reduced to a smoldering hole in the ground, with no trace of its former serenity.

And although Demise felt calmer than he had in weeks, he was furious.

Because the Heroes hadn't been destroyed.

"The goddesses were watching," Demise growled. "I should have known they weren't about to let their favorite Attribute be destroyed."

_And we were so close too... _Veran mused. _Ah well. Better luck next time, hmm?_

"No," Demise decided. "Next time I will not leave it to chance. When I next confront those... _Heroes_, the goddesses will no longer be an interference."

_I like where this is going_, Twilight Ganondorf said.

_Going? We are not going anywhere just yet,_ Majora crooned. _Lovely destruction... doesn't the world burn nicely?_

"Five more minutes and then we _are_ leaving," Demise said firmly. "We have some fellow deities to track down..."

_You have some fellow deities, you mean,_ Oracle Ganon retorted. _We're not gods. _Naturally, not all the villains agreed with that statement.

"Finally, you admit it," Demise said a bit smugly. Inside though, he was thinking. If he were to drag along the villains on his own personal vendetta quest, they were sure to make his life an eternal torment, much like they had already been doing for the last several weeks. The last thing Demise wanted was more bagpipe torture.

On the other hand, releasing them would only mean conceding defeat at the hands of lesser beings. As much as Demise hated bagpipes, he would _not_ allow a subordinate to best him. _Never._

However... there might be a compromise.

"How would you all feel about taking down your individual Links while I take care of the goddesses?"

_A chance to burn the Elfling without restraint? Why do you even ask? _Majora said.

_Taking down our native Links..._ Veran mused. _And freed from your mind as well? What's the catch?_

"It would not be true freedom," Demise explained. "I can give you physical form, but my spell still connects us. Should you fail in defeating your Link... you come right back to me."

Ironically, both Demise and the villains shuddered.

_...Deal,_ Hyrule Ganondorf said.

And Demise set the villains free.

* * *

"You know he'll come after us now," Nayru said.

"Mm-hmm," Farore replied.

"Worth it though," Din said resolutely. "This way there's still a chance."

"True..." Nayru agreed.

"And now," Din continued, "we can finally give Demise a piece of our minds. He's coming after us on _our_ turf. We won't be limited by the physical plane. And I for one plan to give Demise one heck of a fight."

"He won't be limited either, remember," Farore said.

"Also true," Nayru agreed, nodding.

Din smiled disturbingly. "All the more reason to give it everything we've got. And if we can't beat him... at least we can stall him. Now, we've got an Attribute to look after in the meantime, and I'm betting there's gonna be a good show. Does anybody want more popcorn?"

"Ooh, see if you can get caramel this time," Nayru advised.

* * *

"Oww..." Gen groaned. Similar announcements of pain echoed from the boys around him, who were all coming to consciousness.

"What happened?" Sketch said loudly, as there was a ringing in his ears.

"We got smacked, that's what happened," Steam said, also loudly. "My poor train..."

"Admittedly, this is a novel experience," Lore said as he pulled himself to a sitting position. "Anybody else lost before?"

There was a murmur of negative responses.

"We shouldn't be alive," Gen said. "Everything I know about Demise says he would have gone for a killing blow. So either we're all dead and the afterlife is extremely realistic, or something happened that kept us from dying."

"We almost died," Wind realized.

"We _should_ have died," Realm agreed.

"We were too confident," Lore said with a sigh. "And, probably-"

"_I_ was scared out of my mind," Speck objected. "I don't know who thought I was confident, but I can tell you, I wasn't. I literally only met you guys yesterday!"

"And I only met you guys _to_day," Gen added. "But... I _was_ a bit overconfident. I've faced Demise before, and I thought I could do it again. He's just... _never_ been like that before."

"As I was saying," Lore said huffily, "I was overconfident too. I don't think I was really taking this as seriously as it needed to be. Maybe..."

"Don't you dare shunt it off on me," Dusk said darkly.

Lore stared blankly. "How'd you guess?"

Dusk snorted. "Because you're noble like that. I've said this before, and I'll say it again: I am not a leader. The highest up I will ever be comfortable with is a very sarcastic, very protective Beta."

"What?"

"Wolf term," Vio explained.

"Ah," Lore nodded sagely. "I wasn't actually going to do that, you know..."

"Liar," Dusk said, smirking. Lore determinedly ignored him.

"What I was actually going to do was... Gen?"

"Wait, what?" Gen yelped. "Did you not hear me say I literally just met you people? I hardly know anything about you!"

"But you're the first one," Lore argued. "Technically, that would make you leader."

Gen opened his mouth, then closed it as an idea occurred to him. A small grin crept onto his face.

"Joint leadership," he said.

Lore blinked. "Huh?"

"You lead, and show me how it's done. I'll function as your... apprentice, or something, and _we'll _lead the group. Cool?"

Lore blinked again

"You're not getting out of it _that_ easily," Wind told him. The rest of the group nodded.

"Yeah, sure, fine," Lore sighed. "Joint. Okay. I can live with this."

"Now then..." Gen turned and surveyed their surroundings. "Where the heck are we? And how do we get back to Demise to kick his butt for good this time?"

At that, a still-slightly-out-of-it Blue spoke up. "It kinda looks like Hyrule..."

"_Really?_ I hadn't noticed," Lore said.

"No, he means _our_ Hyrule," Red clarified. "Like, right now we're on a mountain. There's the tree Green got stuck in, down there is Hyrule Town and the Castle, that little blonde dot is Princess Zelda coming to scold us..."

"Wait, WHAT?!" Green and Vio shrieked.

"Yeah, see? Right there," Red said. Then his words clicked in his head and his face went from happy to nervous in a split second. "Oh..."

"Question," Mask said as they watched the local Zelda climbing the mountain. "She thinks four Links are a little odd, right?"

"Uh-huh," Blue moaned.

"Okay then. Now, here's my real question. What's she gonna do when she sees..." Mask turned and counted for a moment. "...seventeen Links standing here?"

"Better question," Vio said, realizing something. "Where's the hole that used to be here?"

The other three native Links flinched violently and spun around, with the rest of the group following their lead. Sure enough, where there once was a hole, now there wasn't.

"...Brilliant," Lore decided. "We're stranded."

"Liiiink!" came a new voice. Unnoticed by the group, the local Princess Zelda had made it to the top of the mountain. "You're back! Din, I was so _worried_ about you! I have something to... tell... you...?"

Zelda's sentence came to a rambling halt as she stared at the multiple versions of her Hero. The four native Links exchanged nervous glances with each other before stepping forward.

"Zelda," Vio began, "this might sound strange, but-"

"You brought reinforcements!" the Princess interrupted happily. "Just in time too, thank the goddesses. How did you know?"

"Er..." Vio began.

"Out of, say, curiosity on the part of our reinforcements," Blue said, overriding Vio's attempt at an explanation, "what exactly are you talking about?"

Zelda's face was suddenly utterly serious. "Vaati's back. And this time he's much, much worse."

* * *

**Whoa-boy. That was a doozy. To everyone who's ever written a fight scene, I feel your pain. Seriously, this stuff is hard! I even started early and it still took me the better part of three days! I just hope I did a good job making things seem bad, while still keeping my signature humor streak. **

**Because I forgot last time, what does everyone think of Gen's nickname? He was hard to come up with, because EVERYONE uses Sky for this dude and I wanted to be a bit different.**

**Internet cookies to anyone who understood the ****asdf movies**** reference!**

**And lastly, HA! You all thought we were ending, didn't you? Nope. I have soooo much more plot in mind, this is gonna go on for a ****_good_**** while longer. Got to follow Zelda tradition, after all.**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to Marie Merlia Maribeth, Philozophy, and Chaos Red-Eyes for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**bruh: Well, I like you too. And to answer that other question, Demise does weird stuff like reality warping on a daily basis. So a missing goddess statue is perfectly acceptable. Also, because as the author, I say so.**

**PsycoFangirl: Hmmm... my Zant, maybe. Canon Zant is more likely to kill you in your sleep and not know it's creepy.**

**Demon King 73: Thanks!**

**Thegeniusyoshi: Umm... I forget. I'm gonna have to get back with you on that one. Like, scour my internet history from three months ago and things...**

**Guest: Hyrule Warriors has been confirmed as non-canon, so no. Since Zelda Wii U is not out yet and I have no idea of the storyline, also no. The Hero before Gen though... I decided against it, mainly because we know very little about him. And also, he wasn't the one who started the line of the Heroes. Gen was. Plus, I've already got who-knows-how-many Links to keep track of... handling yet another one might be too much. **


	20. Chapter 19

**(Alright universe, here's my disclaimer. What have you got for me this time?)**

**I do not own the Legend of Zelda. On the other hand, I do own Sly Cooper.**

**(Oh, good one. *clears throat* CURSE YOU, UNIVERSE!)**

* * *

"...I'm sorry, what?" Gen asked.

"Vaati's back," Zelda repeated, sounding slightly annoyed that no one else was panicking.

"Ah," Gen said, nodding sagely. "Excuse us for one second, will you?"

The group of Links promptly had a huddle meeting.

"Explain," Lore ordered, pointing at Vio. "I thought all the villains were in Demise's head."

"They're supposed to be," Vio replied, brow furrowed. "We know they were when we fought him..."

"So why isn't Vaati?" Wind questioned.

"And if Vaati is free, what about all the other villains we've fought?" Sketch added. The entire group shuddered briefly at the thought of that.

"Maybe Demise decided he didn't need them anymore...?" Red wondered.

"**But if Vaati is here now, we should probably do something about that,**" the Four said.

"Good point," Dusk conceded. "But on the other hand, we just got our butts handed to us about ten minutes ago. Are we sure we can take this Vaati person?"

There was a moment of silence as the Links exchanged glances and evaluated their general level of confidence and energy.

"We won't know until we try," Ocarina decided. The huddle broke and the Links turned back to Zelda.

"Alright, we're good," Blue told her. "Lead the way."

Zelda tilted her head. "I shouldn't need to. You can see him from here."

"We can see him?" Green repeated. Zelda pointed. Sure enough, from the view atop the mountain the Links could see a small, vaguely purple dot hovering above Hyrule Town, and launching what looked like large boulders at the buildings. There was also a general impression of a disturbed anthill from the residents.

"Huh," Mask said, peering with his hand shading his eyes. "He looks like a pudgy bat."

Blue promptly burst into laughter at that description. "Oh, that is _brilliant!_ I am _so_ using that as a taunt."

"Focus," Vio told him. "He's in the process of raining rocky terror on the town. We need to go."

"Er, how fast are we talking about going here?" Dusk wanted to know. "Because I can run a lot faster on four legs..."

"Well, seeing as how Mr. Pudgy Bat just threw a boulder at a Cucco farm," Lore said, "I'd say that works. Fastest options, everybody. We'll make it a race."

Dusk promptly transformed himself, scaring the daylights out of Princess Zelda, and rumbled impatiently at the rest of the group. Lore, the Four, Vio, Green, Blue, and Red, and Speck all pulled out various models of Pegasus Boots. Wind drew his Wind Waker and started levitating himself. Ocarina borrowed a Bunny Hood from Mask, who put on a different one and transformed into a Goron, scaring Zelda again. Sketch pulled out a Tornado Rod. Gen searched his bag for a moment, shrugged, and then pulled out a pair of Hookshots. Steam pulled out his Whirlwind. And Realm, after a moment of thought, took a running stance.

"What?" he said, noticing everyone looking. "I don't really have anything that goes fast."

"I bet you ten Rupees he has enough stamina to outlast us all," Steam muttered to Speck.

"Maybe, but... is it a good idea to let Realm race in a Hyrule he's never been to before?" Speck asked.

Every Link with experience involving Realm's directional tendencies flinched.

"... Yeah, that's not happening," Green decided. "You got lost for five hours in your native Hyrule and managed to get stuck in a volcano from a library in a different one. I am _not_ letting you run off somewhere and end up in the arctic."

"Green will stay with Realm then," Lore said. "Alright, ready?"

Everyone gave an affirmative. Lore grinned. "And... Go!"

Mask took off like a shot, curled up in a ball and rolling at a surprising speed. Close behind him was Wind, Steam, and Sketch, who were all propelling themselves with various wind-themed items, along with all the Links with Pegasus Boots. Dusk was close behind them, along with Ocarina. Gen was doing a pretty good job with his Hookshots, propelling himself along in the treeline. And lastly, although he wasn't tired in the least, Realm came jogging along accompanied by Green.

"Take a left," Green advised. Then winced. "No, your other left! ...No, the _other_ other left! ...Okay, now go straight... straight... that's not a shortcut! No, the town is this- _where are you going?!_ Make a right! ...No, that's not- you were supposed to go right! I'm not even sure what direction that was! ...And I think we turned around somewhere..."

Suddenly, they were back at the starting point. Realm glanced at Green in a sheepish manner. Green facepalmed.

* * *

Vaati, meanwhile, was cutting loose for the first time since Demise's spell and was having the time of his life. He'd really forgotten how much fun it was to watch mortals screaming in abject terror as he rampaged through their town in a whirlwind.

Of course, the fact that Hyrule Ganon was down in the actual establishment probably also had something to do with it. Outside of Demise's mind, he looked like a very large, very cranky blue bipedal pig. He also had a trident which threw blue fire and green energy balls.

"Having fun?" Vaati called down to his fellow villain as Hyrule Ganon smashed things.

"I will _not_ go back to that braggart's mind, not if I can help it," he snarled in reply. Vaati raised the ridge above his one very large eyeball.

"Well that's your problem, isn't it?"

"Just get down here and help me," Hyrule Ganon muttered crankily.

"No thanks," Vaati said rather smugly. "I prefer to stay where no one can touch me. Besides, I'm still a bit miffed at you for the whole 'controlling me' thing before we got into this mess."

"Then stay out of my way," Hyrule Ganon said before throwing his trident, which lit itself with blue fire and spun around like a crazy boomerang. It smashed through three different buildings before returning to its master's hand.

"Wasn't in your way in the first place," Vaati said, rolling his eyeball. He then spawned a ring of dark energy spheres and shot them out in all directions. The town hall exploded.

"I do hope the Heroes get here soon," he mused as the townspeople ran screaming. "I'm running out of buildings to destroy."

* * *

"...Still say that's not fair!" Blue's voice complained as Green and Realm _finally_ made it to the somewhat-destroyed town. "You were literally using Rollout, how are we supposed to compete with that?"

"Blue," Green gasped, out of breath from trying to keep Realm from getting lost, "don't break the walls. They're there for a reason."

"Yeah yeah," Blue said, waving off his leader. Then he made a double-take. "What happened to you?"

"Ah, that would be my fault," Realm replied, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. Somehow he wasn't tired in the slightest. Speck sighed and passed ten Rupees to Steam as discreetly as he could manage.

"...What happened this time," Lore sighed. Realm grinned sheepishly.

"Well, we got going all right, but then I got my directions a little mixed up and we ended up back at the starting point."

"I don't even know _how_ you managed to go backwards-left while still running forward," Green moaned, now perching his hands on his knees.

"From there," Realm continued, "I accidentally fell down a cliff-face that dropped me on the other side of the valley we started in."

"The only cliff in the vicinity, I might add," Green said.

"And then that got me mixed up so I just chose a random direction, and then I found a Chu, and then there was a dance number for some reason-"

"I have absolutely no idea where it came from," Green added, his face now wearing a look of utter confusion.

"-and by the time that ended, we were in a completely different biome. So then Green did some nature scouting and figured out which direction we needed to go, but then I realized I'd lost my shield somewhere during the dance number, and-"

"Stop!" Gen interrupted. "You mean to tell me that this is completely normal for you?!"

"Yep," Realm said, nodding cheerfully.

"...I have no idea how to respond to that," Gen decided.

"We're sidetracking," Dusk interrupted.

"Not entirely sure how we forgot about the town mostly in ruins in front of us though," Wind mused thoughtfully.

"Alright, native Links! Tell us about Mr. Pudgy Bat and that rather large blue pig over there," Lore said authoritatively. Green and Vio exchanged glances, blinked, and then yelped as a two-story tall blue boar with a trident went on a rampage on the other side of the town.

"Ohhhhhh, crud," Vio said. "That's Ganon."

"Why is he here?" Green asked his brother.

"Well, if I had to guess I'd say he's native," Vio decided. "Probably, if we'd beaten Vaati when we were supposed to, Ganon would have been the final fight."

"...I'm taking this to mean you don't know anything about Mr. Blue Pig," Lore said.

"Just what I've read in books," Vio replied.

"Then start with Mr. Pudgy Bat and work your way from there," Mask inserted.

"Okay, well, he usually works with wind. From what I've seen he likes to sit in the air and chip away at his enemies from where they can't reach. The first thing we're going to need is a way to either bring him down to us, or get ourselves up to his level. His weak point is his eye," Vio rattled off. "He's probably also got some sort of magic projectiles, judging from his title of Wind Mage. We can try to hit those back, or maybe just avoid them depending on what kind of projectile it is."

"Shadow Balls," Blue informed them, watching Vaati shoot multiple dark-looking energy spheres into various buildings.

"Blue!" Red cried. "Don't break the walls!"

"Sor-ry," Blue muttered, not sounding apologetic in the slightest.

Lore, ignoring the developing argument, nodded. "Okay, so we at least have a plan for this guy. Bring him down and don't get hit."

"Well, it's a bit more complicated than that-" Vio started.

"Good enough for now. What about Ganon?"

Vio sighed and massaged his head. "Okay. From what I've read, he relies a lot on his trident. Whatever you do, don't let it hit you. I'm guessing on this, but he'll probably also use it as a focus for his magic."

Across the town, Ganon roared something and spewed blue fire from his trident tip.

"...Good call," Gen said. Vio nodded in acknowledgment, studying his new opponent.

"...Okay. See how big he is? He's gonna be slow, and that's gonna be his weakness. Don't stop running, and get behind him. Make a few slashes, and then _get away_. I doubt he'll hesitate to sit on you if he gets the chance."

"Eww," Sketch said, grimacing.

"The problem here," Green said, throwing Vio a 'good job' look, "is that we're gonna be fighting both of them at the same time. That might be tricky."

"What, you don't want to take them?" Steam asked. "I mean, they're your native villains. Prove your worth, and all that?"

All four of the native Links glared at him, even Red, surprisingly. "That," Blue said, "is a supremely stupid idea. Let's have four small children try to avoid getting pummeled into dust by two very large and very angry monsters at the exact same time. Nothing could _possibly_ go wrong with that plan."

"What he said," Red added.

"So what we need to do..." Gen mused, "is divide and conquer. Have all the Links who can pull off an air battle take Vaati, and put some of the more agile ones with Ganon."

"I can fight Ganon," Realm volunteered. "I don't have anything for an air battle, but I'm a fast runner and I've got _really_ good endurance."

"I can confirm that," Green said ruefully.

"Alright then..." Vio said, thinking. "Wind, how good are you with your Wind Waker?"

"Very," Wind said with a slight smirk, catching on to Vio's meaning. "Want me to mess with Vaati?"

"You got it," Vio replied. "If he tries any wind magic at all, you're the guy to stop it, keep the others safe."

"Sure thing," Wind said.

"And... how to get him down..." Vio said, thinking. "How many of us have some form of hookshot?"

Lore, Dusk, Mask, Ocarina, Gen, and Sketch all raised their hands. "I've got three," Lore said, after a moment.

"And I've got two," Mask added.

"Okay... plus Wind, that makes seven... plus two of us native Links, because you guys have got some spares we can borrow. Green, Red?"

"Sure," Green said. Red bounced and nodded in excitement.

"Don't get yourself killed," Blue told them. "And someone insult Vaati for me." He grinned evilly. "He _needs_ to get called Mr. Pudgy Bat."

"Consider it done," Lore replied with an equally evil grin.

Vio rolled his eyes and decided it would be best to ignore them. "So then that puts me, Blue, Sketch, Realm, Speck, Steam, and the Four on Ganon. Everybody all right with that?"

"Er, well..." Steam began a bit hesitantly. "I spent most of my journey on a train. I'm not the most athletic guy here."

"Wanna trade me?" Gen asked, holding out his Double Hookshot. "I had to do a lot of parkour on my quest, so I'll be fine."

"Sure," Steam said, accepting the item with curiosity. "I wonder how these work..." he muttered, and began to fiddle with the mechanisms.

"Dude, don't break it before you use it," Gen told him. "And I want those back, you hear?"

"Yeah... sure," Steam replied distractedly, caught up in the inner workings of the Hookshots.

"...I'm sure that'll work out fine," Lore said cheerfully. "We all good?"

The Links all gave affirmatives.

"Okay," Vio said. "Group Vaati, your job is to latch onto him with your various versions of hookshots and drag him down. Once he's in reach, aim for the eye. I don't really think it matters how you hit him as long as you do. Wind will keep him from using his weather magic with the Wind Waker. Luckily most of you guys have got some form of a Mirror Shield, so you should be alright if Vaati shoots his magic at you. Alternatively, you could try and hit those back with your swords, but I wouldn't recommend that unless you're either absolutely certain or likely going to die otherwise."

Mask snickered at that, for some odd reason.

"Group Ganon," Vio continued, turning, "Basically, someone needs to be a distraction. While Ganon is preoccupied with whoever is in front, the rest of us need to be as quick and fast as possible to get behind him and strike. We'll be taking turns being the distraction because that job is going to involve the most running and the most danger. Do NOT let his trident hit you. If a shield won't work, try to hit back any magical projectiles he may throw."

"Break!" Lore yelled. And the Links all scattered.

* * *

Vaati floated a good thirty feet into the air, surveying his handiwork with satisfaction. Maybe Majora had a point, about the world looking its best when it was burning. Not that he would ever admit that to the mask, of course, but there was something-

"Oi, Mr. Pudgy Bat!"

Vaati stared. Then he blinked. Then he stared again. Because it seemed to him that the small green person on the ground was addressing him.

"I beg your pardon?" Vaati said, feeling slightly insulted.

"What, were you not paying attention?" the green boy said. "I'm so sorry, let me try again. I said, 'Oi! Mr. Pudgy Bat!' Better?"

"...Pudgy...Bat?" Vaati repeated, now quickly moving from slightly insulted to very insulted.

"Yes, that's you," the boy said, rolling his eyes and giving a 'can you believe this guy?' look to no one in particular. "I heard you were looking for me?"

"I will murder you violently," Vaati seethed. Then paused, confused. "I'm sorry, who are you?"

"I'm the Hero," the boy said.

"Not the one I'm looking for," Vaati replied. "There's supposed to be four of him. Perhaps you could point me in the right direction? You may as well be of some use to me before I kill you."

"What, am I not good enough?" the green Hero said indignantly. "What happened to equal Hero rights? I demand that I receive the proper amount of repsect! This is Hero prejudice!"

Vaati stared, utterly flabbergasted as the boy launched into a flamboyant tirade on the ethics of Hero treatment and equal villainous rights. He waved his arms dramatically as he talked, then transitioned into a long, confusing, and outright contradictory-to-itself list of rights that Heroes ought to have, then decided to write an accusing letter to the government, then abruptly sat down and started _writing_ said accusing letter to the government. Somewhere along the line he asked Vaati for a stamp, and by the time the Wind Mage even figured out what was happening he was being shown an extensive stamp collection and was somehow being coerced into opening a Stamp Museum, of which Vaati himself would be the curator.

It was at this point that eight other Heroes suddenly burst into loud and uncontrollable laughter as they fell out of their various hiding places and rolled on the ground in complete hysterics.

"Oh, way to ruin the moment!" the Hero next to Vaati shouted.

"Sorry, sorry," one of the other boys gasped. "Just give us a minute..."

"Hero prejudice," another boy wheezed.

"Perfectly good prank too..." the Hero next to Vaati grumbled. "Not much point to it now."

And he proceeded to stab Vaati in the eyeball.

* * *

Lore grinned at the rest of the Links on the ground as Vaati flailed about in the air, cursing him with some very interesting destinies and suggestions about his mother.

"See what I did there?" Lore asked, completely ignoring the furious demon above him. "I made a pun. 'Not much _point _to it now'."

"And then you stabbed him, yeah," Dusk said, finally recovered from Lore's prank. "Where did you even come up with that stuff? And where'd you get the stamps?"

"Dude, I don't even know what a stamp is. I just made something up."

Dusk stared. "Just like that on the spot? But then where did the collection come from?"

"Random bits of paper floating around in the bottom of my adventure pouch," Lore said with a casual wave of his hand. "Mind you, I should really clean this thing out. Bloody lot of junk in there."

The conversation was promptly interrupted by Vaati throwing mass amounts of shadowy energy spheres at the group, causing them to scatter.

"Hookshots, everyone!" Ocarina yelled.

* * *

"**Why are we the first distraction?**" the Four asked somewhat worriedly.

"Because since you operate as a group, he's likely to focus on you for an easy target anyways." Vio said.

"**That is not at all reassuring,**" the Four decided.

"Just holler if you guys need to switch, okay?"

_'We are going to die,'_ the purple member of the Four stated solemly to his other selves.

_'Don't be such a pessimist,' _the blue member scolded.

_'Yeah, this could be fun,'_ the red member added. _'Just... nobody trip this time, okay?'_

_'One time!'_ the green member protested as the Four made their way in front of Ganon. They took a collective deep breath, and, before the giant pig noticed them, stabbed him in the foot. With all four swords at once.

Predictably, this got Ganon's attention quite well.

"**Bad idea! Bad idea!**" the Four screamed as they ran for their lives, Ganon chucking green energy spheres at them.

"Hey, look. Energy Ball," Blue said to his companions as they sprinted quietly to Ganon's backside. Vio thwacked him upside the head.

"Will you stop breaking things?!"

"Shhhh!" Realm said, shushing them frantically. But it was already too late, as Ganon snorted and turned around to glare at the group of Heroes behind him.

"Slash and run!" Gen shrieked.

And Ganon suddenly had six more stab wounds in his foot. There were also six more Links running for their lives.

"This definitely could have gone better," Speck decided as he sprinted.

"Oh, shut up," Vio grumbled.

* * *

"-and pull!" Lore bellowed. The Links, aside from Wind who was currently having a weather duel with Vaati, all heaved on their hookshots as hard as they could. Vaati, although flapping frantically, was unable to keep himself from being slowly dragged down to the ground. Of course, it also helped that Wind was spawning a downdraft on top of the Mage to push him down.

However, Vaati wasn't out of tricks yet. As soon as the group dragged him down to within reaching distance, Vaati let out a spreadshot of dark magic orbs in all directions. The Links were suddenly occupied with either dodging or blocking, and only one of them, Steam, actually managed to make a hit on Vaati's eye before the Demon soared back into the sky and abruptly created a whirlwind on top of them.

As Wind battled Vaati's storm, the other Links began sighting with their hookshots once again.

"This time, hit him before he can make those spheres!" Dusk called.

"We'll try!" Green yelled back.

* * *

"**Ahhhhhhh!**" The Four yelled as they ran frantically from Ganon's flaming trident that was somehow also doubling as a boomerang. The rest of the group, who were sneaking behind Ganon again, winced in sympathy.

"Let's get rid of this guy before it's my turn out there," Blue whispered.

"Agreed," Realm said fervently. "Ready?"

The Links positioned themselves behind Ganon, who was stretching out his hand to catch his returning weapon.

"Now!" Gen decided. The Links immediately began hacking away at Ganon's backside, getting in as much damage as they could before scrambling away as Ganon roared in fury and whirled on them.

"I think we made progress," Speck gasped.

"You sure about that?" Sketch said. "Because all I think we progressed at was making him angrier."

Ganon was indeed _very_ angry at the moment.

"**Guys?!**" the Four screeched. "**We think we would like to stop being bait now!**"

Their statement was timed nicely when Ganon drew lightning from the sky and shot it in five different directions after channeling it through his trident.

"Ohhh, not more lightning," Sketch groaned.

"Switch with me!" Realm yelled at the Four. He sprinted onto the pockmarked battlefield where Ganon was once again attempting to blast them, and made the rather poor decision to use Lore's nickname.

"Hey, Mr. Blue Pig!" Realm shouted. Off to the left, the Four scurried away and sat down in a heap next to the rest of the Links.

"..._What?_" Ganon snarled. And threw his trident. Which was once again on fire.

"Oh crud," Realm squeaked, before putting all his stamina to good use and sprinting for his life.

* * *

"HOLD HIM!" Dusk bellowed, slashing at Vaati's eyeball with all the strength he could muster. On either side of the Wind Mage, the other Links were frantically straining to keep their opponent on the ground.

"W're trying!" Lore spat. "Hurry up and beat him faster!"

"I am going as fast as I can!" Dusk snapped, launching into a Spin Attack and bemoaning the uselessness of the Mortal Draw in this situation. He could have really used a one-hit kill right about now.

"He's getting away!" Wind cried, heaving back on Dusk's set of clawshots. He was lending a hand while Vaati was on the ground, not really needing to use the Wind Waker for anything at the moment.

"Just a little more!" Dusk yelled back, hacking away and causing some black vapor substance to leak from Vaati's eye.

* * *

"STAB HIM NOW!" Realm shrieked, dodging between green energy spheres.

"Hit them back!" Vio yelled to his friend, running out to Realm's side.

"WHAT?" Realm shouted.

"Aaaand your hearing's shot," Vio muttered. "Okay." He took a very deep breath, then leaned over and screamed into Realm's ear. "YOU NEED TO HIT THEM BACK!"

"BEES ARE A BIT QUACK?!" Realm yelled, extremely confused.

Vio facepalmed. Then yelped as he noticed Ganon had shot more green energy spheres.

"Watch me," he mouthed carefully to Realm, before turning around and slashing at one of the balls. The green sphere bounced off his sword, shot back, and slammed Ganon in the face. Realm made an 'ohh' face.

"GOT IT!" he yelled, before taking off running again. Vio made sure Ganon's attention was focused firmely on Realm before racing back to the rest of the group, who were sneaking around for another assault on Ganon's backside. Around in front, Realm lobbied another green sphere back at Ganon, causing him to roar in what sounded like... pain.  
"He's weakening," Speck realized.

"**And a couple more good hits should do it,**" the Four agreed.

"Then let's not keep him waiting," Gen said. "Now!"

The Links launched their biggest assault yet, mostly because Ganon was more distracted than usual due to playing deadly tennis with Realm. Feeling numerous swords pierce his skin, Ganon bellowed- this time in definite agony.

* * *

"Hold still, you fat nocturnal mammal!" Lore raged as Vaati dodged the hookshots flying at him from all directions.

"I-AM-NOT-A-BAT!" Vaati screeched in fury. He kept blinking his eye rapidly, trying to see better. Every now and then it leaked some black smoke.

"Gotcha!" Steam cried triumphantly as his borrowed pair of hookshots latched onto Vaati's right wing. Unable to fly, the Wind Mage dropped like a stone.

"Nice shot!" Red cheered, running over with the rest of the Links to Vaati's front where his eye was.

"You will all pay," Vaati hissed, struggling to get back into the air.

"Maybe next time," Dusk replied. "Now!"

As one, the group planted their swords straight into Vaati's eye. The Wind Mage shrieked, shuddered- and then vanished.

In his place, was a Vaati-shaped hole in the fabric of reality.

The Links stared.

"That was... interesting," Lore said eventually.

* * *

"That's it, someone tag out with Realm!" Vio decided abruptly, watching his friend scramble around like a disturbed anthill.

"I'll go," Gen volunteered. He raced out to Realm and tapped the brunet's shoulder.

"My turn," he mouthed carefully. Realm furrowed his brow for a moment, then nodded and sprinted off towards the group. Gen turned to face Ganon and smirked.

"Bring it, piggy boy."

Ganon's face darkened in a rather disturbing manner. "_Now_ you die."

"Yeah, good luck with that," Gen said, internally fist-pumping at having succesfully distracted his opponent once again. And then the trident, on fire yet again, came spinning towards him. Gen yelped and sprinted away.

"You do know that's not a boomerang, right?!" he shouted.

Behind Ganon, Blue watched his halfway-group-leader. "He _is_ kinda fast."

"Good thing then," Sketch said. "He's less likely to die that way."

"I think this should do it," Vio whispered as they crept into position. "Ready... Now!"

Once again, the Links cut into Ganon's back. At the same time, Gen smacked a well-aimed green sphere back into Ganon's chest, then used his momentary pause to sprint up and slash the boar in the stomach. Then, because Vio was a meticulous planner, everyone launched into a Spin Attack at the same time.

Ganon shuddered, and fell heavily to one knee, gripping his trident in his hand like it was a lifeline.

"This... this is not over," he rasped. "I _will_ have my freedom. And then... then I will have my revenge."

"Good luck with that," Blue told him, panting. Ganon snarled in fury, then shuddered again.

And vanished.

Left behind, was a very Ganon-shaped hole.

* * *

The Links regrouped, dirty, sweaty, tired, and very much fed up with near death experiences.

"Literally, _right_ after Demise," Mask complained. "I swear, someone up there hates us."

"But we did it," Speck reminded him. "We beat them."

"Yeah, but now we've got the old problem back," Steam said. "There's holes."

The Links looked at the two villain-shaped holes for a moment.

"...Maybe we can push them?"

* * *

"That _was_ a good show," Nayru said to her sisters. "Good call, Din."

"Thanks," Din replied. "Though, maybe..."

Farore sighed. "You think we should pitch in."

"Only a little bit!" Din said defensively. "Not enough to break any of the Interference Laws or anything, just..."

"Just enough to be almost, kinda, not quite not useful?"

"Exactly," Din said, nodding.

Nayru sighed. "Just put on a disguise or something, will you?"

Din winked at her. "Or I could borrow your Attribute..."

* * *

"Link!"

The entire group all turned around when they heard their name. Princess Zelda, who had called, giggled a little.

"Don't tell me you're all named Link, are you?"

"Er..." Vio began.

"Oh, never mind that," she said, waving a gloved hand. "You defeated Vaati! And Ganon! I never doubted you for a minute, Link."

"Just to clarify, which one of us are you talking to?" Blue said.

"All four of you," Zelda answered.

"Oh yeah, that's not confusing at all..." Blue muttered.

"But," Zelda continued, "I do have a message for _all_ of you."

The entire group looked surprised.

"First, that," Zelda pointed. The Links followed her finger and gaped in astonishment as the two holes slowly slid together and merged into one larger hole. "Now you only need to worry about one, and you have a straight path to your next challenge. Now, what do we say?"

"How long have you been able to do _that?_" Blue breathed. Red smacked him lightly. "Blue, manners!"

"Thanks, from all of us," Lore said, taking a step forward. Clearly though, he was just as confused.

"And now... I have a message for... Steam, I think?"

Steam blinked. "Me?"

Zelda nodded. "Yep. Take out your Spirit Flute please, I'm going to teach you a song."

Steam slowly drew his pipes and set them against his mouth. With Zelda singing the melody, Steam followed the tune with only a moderate amount of difficulty. It was short, only lasting a few seconds, and was made of short, clipped notes that jumped all over the octaves in a way that sounded like metal being hammered.

And then a train whistle sounded randomly. The Spirit Train came barreling out of nowhere and plowed through the one building left standing in the entire town. The rest of the Links winced. Steam, on the other hand, was too busy fanboying.

"That is awesome!" he cheered. "I don't have to sound like a weirdo to summon my train now!"

"But your verbal summons still works," Zelda said. "Do not forget that. A flute can be stolen, but words are hard to silence."

"Er... Zelda," Green began. "Where did you..."

"Where did I what?" Zelda said innocently, turning to face Green. "I just came to congratulate you."

Green stared at her. She was being completely serious.

"...Okay then," he said.

"As the halfway leader of this group," Lore suddenly proclaimed, "I am making us all take a well-deserved break. We have just been through two battles of giant proportions and I think we all need a rest and/or nap."

"Agreed," Ocarina said with a groan.

"And from now on," Lore continued, "anytime I call a break when we _don't_ need one, you have my permission to prank me."

The Links all stepped away from Mask, who had a grin on his face so large and disturbing that he practically looked evil. Lore cleared his throat nervously.

"And someone _please_ watch Mask to make sure he doesn't take advantage of this. Okay?"

The Links responded by dropping to the ground and almost instantly falling asleep. In a few cases, some were actually asleep before they made it all the way down to the ground. Lore smirked.

"Well, the middle of a exploded village wasn't exactly what I had in mind, but..."

It was surprisingly peaceful, the scene in the village. Seventeen boys dressed in green and a few other colors, all of various ages, slumped against each other, on each other, and sometimes supporting each other, all fast asleep. Because, let's face it, they really, _really _needed it.

* * *

**CURSE WRITERS BLOCK.**

**That is all I have to say.**

**Also, Pokemon references. Because they really do look a lot like it.**

* * *

**Thanks to bajimmin, castielsl.a.b., Lonecho, The Reader II, Dark Pit not Pittoo, and Raine Signs for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**DrBananaFace: Thanks! That means a lot.**

**Dark Pit not Pittoo: Why hello, fellow fan. When you Do The Flop, be sure to watch out for Mine Turtles.**

**Thegeniusyoshi: I FOUND IT! It's called Breakdown, written by RandomObserver42. And I'll have you know, I went all the way back to March in my internet history to find this. 'Cause I'm stubborn like that.**


	21. Chapter 20

**(Okay Universe, let me have it! Whatcha got this time?)**

**I do not own the Legend of Zelda. I do, however, own Phineas and Ferb.**

**(Oh, moving on from video games. Good plan. Okay... CURSE YOU, UNIVERSE!)**

* * *

The problem with taking a nap right out in the open, was that people were liable to sneak up on you. Granted, most of the people of the Town were quite nice and perfectly willing to let the Heroes sleep. There was also the fact that the Town was completely destroyed, and therefore nobody really wanted to spend time in it.

However, there was one person who, contrary to everyone else, was not very nice, was not willing to let the Links sleep, and who was rather enjoying the surrounding destruction. This person also did not like the Hero as a general rule, and was really only planning to associate himself with said disliked Hero(es) because of necessity. That, and he could probably annoy them all by tagging along.

This is why Shadow, sometimes known as Dark, was currently yelling in Blue's ear as loudly as he could.

"GET UP, PANSY!"

Blue shot up with a yelp and narrowly missed punching Shadow in the face. He'd aimed to hit, of course, but Shadow had dodged at the last second.

"What the heck was that for?!" Blue exclaimed angrily, looking around. Then his eyes locked on Shadow, and his face instantly got a lot more annoyed.

"Why are _you_ here?" he asked bluntly. "If you've got another bomb, I swear I will knock you into next week."

"Oh no, no bombs this time," Shadow said, casually waving one of his hands and smirking. Around the two, the other Links were all waking up with varying levels of crankiness.

"Who decided it was a good idea to yell?" Lore asked, in a very bad mood due to having his nap interrupted.

"Green," Blue said, completely ignoring the halfway-leader, "Shadow's back. And he called me a pansy."

Green frowned. "Does he have another bomb?"

"Nope," Shadow said, popping his lips on the 'p'.

"I'm _not_ a pansy," Blue muttered to no one in particular. Vio tilted his head.

"Technically, pansies are actually quite durable. They have been documented to survive winters of zero degrees or lower."

"So? A lot of plants do that," Blue grumbled.

"Perennials do. Pansies are annuals," Vio told him. "Oh, and they survived said winter in pots."

Blue blinked. "Huh."

"But they still crush very well when stepped on," Shadow interjected smoothly. Blue glared at him.

"You look familiar," Ocarina said suddenly. "Have we met? Like, before this? Or maybe you've got an older brother?"

Shadow smirked. "Good to know I'm not completely forgotten."

Ocarina, along with Mask, stared. "That was _you?_"

"Er, who was he?" Gen asked, confused.

"Well, when I was Ocarina and on my first journey," Mask explained, "we had this fight with our shadow. Called itself Dark Link. Ganondorf was using it-"

"Him, thank you very much," Shadow interrupted.

"..._him_, to try and kill us."

"Almost worked too," Ocarina added with a slight shudder. Shadow chuckled.

"Good times.."

"But what I don't understand," Mask continued, "is how come you look so different?"

Shadow snorted. "Please. You expect me to look the same no matter when you meet me? I'm your shadow, you idiots. I change with you. And right now, I'm the shadow of those four there." He waved a hand lazily at Vio, Blue, Red, and Green.

"So... when you fought me..." Ocarina began, "you were being _my _shadow?"

"He has a brain!" Shadow exclaimed. And smirked.

"Don't kill him, don't kill him, don't kill him," Blue chanted steadily.

Vio, on the other hand, crossed his arms. "Show us."

"What, don't you trust me?" Shadow said, making his bright red eyes wide and innocent looking.

"No," Vio stated. Shadow shrugged, with yet another smug grin on his face.

"Suit yourself." Shadow let his eyes roam over the rest of the Links, muttering to himself a bit. "No... no... no... too short... been him already... don't like his hair..."

"Hey!" Lore protested. Shadow ignored him.

"Just don't like _him_... no... no... been _him_ already too... ah. You'll do."

"Wait, what?" Dusk said slightly nervously. Shadow smirked a bit and stared at him for about five seconds, then suddenly-

"Holy-!" Blue yelped.

Shadow was now a perfect duplicate of Dusk, the only difference being the dark colors and bright red eyes. And the very un-Dusk-like expression.

"Oh, this is nice," Shadow said musingly. "I've been _their_ shadow for so long I'd forgotten what it's like to be tall."

"Are you implying we're short?!" Blue cried.

"You're ten. Or possibly twelve, I don't remember," Shadow said dismissively. "And frankly, you're kind of short for your age."

"Don't kill him, don't kill him, don't kill him," Blue chanted through clenched teeth.

Gen, recovering from the surprise, frowned. "Why are you here though?"

"Well, messing with you Hero types is fun, obviously," Shadow said.

Gen sighed. "Why are you _actually _here?"

Shadow glanced at him, looking more serious now. "Because I hear you'll be going after Ganondorf. And I want in."

The Links stared for a moment.

"I'm sorry, what?" Realm said.

Shadow rolled his eyes. "And I was so sure I'd said it clearly. When you go to find Ganondorf, I want to come."

"Not to be rude here, but... why?" Green asked.

"Because he tossed me aside like trash," Shadow said with a surprising amount of venom in his voice. "I was created from your shadows, to be your opposite. That was why Ganondorf made me. But when I was... unable to deliver, he cast me aside like I was worthless." Shadow gritted his teeth. "And then he had the nerve to let me rot until he decided I was useful. Do you have any idea how long I've been regarded as useless?"

The Links all shook their heads.

"Centuries," Shadow hissed. "So I figure, it's payback time. But don't go getting the idea that I like you people. Because I don't. You just happen to be a necessary annoyance on the way to my goal."

"Trust me, we're not too fond of you either," Mask muttered.

"The other reason I'm coming, is because you can't stop me," Shadow said, suddenly regaining his former, less angry mood. "And, seeing as how this is a perfect opportunity to mock you, I intend to take full advantage of it."

"I'm going to kill him," Blue seethed. And was immediately dogpiled by his three brothers to keep him from doing so.

"We're good!" Red said brightly, perched on top of Blue's back. "It's nice to see you again, Shadow."

"Speak for yourself," Blue snarled from his position on the ground.

"Wait, so he's actually coming?" Realm asked. "I have some objections to this. He almost killed me once."

"What, you too?" Mask said.

"Oh, I remember that too," Shadow said. "Good times..."

"Will you stop saying that about killing people?" Lore demanded. "It's getting on my nerves."

Shadow just smirked. "Don't knock it 'til you've tried it."

"...Right, group huddle, now," Lore said.

"Let me know how that goes," Shadow called, sounding bored. The group did their best to ignore him as they gathered into the circle which was now becoming a common occurrence.

"No," Blue said immediately, still being sat upon by Red.

"I would agree with Blue on this one," Vio said.

"Those bombs were enormous," Green agreed.

"Aw, c'mon guys," Red pleaded. "He seemed honest enough..."

"And from his explanation, he _is_ kinda us, right?" Wind asked.

"He tried to kill... seven-ish of us!" Mask protested.

"Seven-ish?" Speck asked.

"Well, those four are really one person," Mask explained, waving a hand. "And Ocarina and I are also sort-of, kinda, but not really the same person. And Realm's just Realm. So really, this could either be three of us or seven of us, depending on how you count. Bit confusing, really."

"You're telling me," Gen muttered.

"And don't even get me started on the Four," Mask started.

"**Please don't...**" the Four muttered.

"But Shadow does seem to have a valid reason for coming," Steam pointed out. "Besides, you heard him. If he wants to come there's not really anything we can do stop him."

"...I hate logic," Sketch grumbled.

"We are not listening to logic this time!" Lore protested. "He insulted my hair!"

"Well in all honesty, it _is_ a bit floppy," Dusk told him. "I mean, your bangs have got to be defying gravity at _least_ a little bit."

"Oh, says the boy with stone tips," Lore shot back.

"What?" Dusk grabbed one of his locks and did his best to pull it into view. "Wait, that transferred over?"

"From when Demise almost shot you?" Steam asked.

"Yeah, look." Sure enough, some Dusk's hair tips were made of stone. Luckily, it was almost the same color as his natural hair, and thus wasn't entirely noticeable.

"Okay, so that's a little weird," Realm said, "but back to the actual point here. Are we willingly letting Shadow tag along, or are we going to put up with him coming along anyways?"

"...Well when you put it like that..." Ocarina said ruefully.

"It's still a bad idea," Blue insisted.

"Couldn't agree more," Shadow said cheerfully, somehow suddenly involved in the huddle despite no one seeing him enter. "But like brownie over there said, I'm coming either way. So really, what was the point of this huddle?"

"Don't kill him, don't kill him, don't kill him," Blue repeated, eyes tightly shut and fists clenched.

"Good, that's settled then," Shadow said brightly. "Shall we be going then?"

"Going... where, exactly?" Gen asked.

"Well, obviously, we're going to track down Ganondorf and beat the life out of him, right?" Shadow said.

"Wait, what?"

"Oh, nothing."

"He does have a point though," Red decided. "If Vaati and Ganon were here, then won't the other villains be in the other Hyrules?"

"...Crud," Steam said.

"Fine, Shadow's coming. Now let's move!" Lore said.

Conveniently, the hole was right nearby, after Zelda had done her weird merging thing. Inconveniently, as the Links were going through Shadow decided to shove Sketch, causing him to bump into Wind, who fell into Gen, who stumbled into Green, who then fell though the hole and landed on top of Vio, who got knocked over and landed on top of Blue's leg. And then everybody else fell in after Green and landed on the pile.

Shadow, of course, did absolutely nothing helpful. He walked casually out of the hole and laughed instead.

* * *

**So, basically, this was 'get to know Shadow' chapter. Because I wanted to do him justice, and because writing those two/three boss battles was draining. Next update will probably have more plot-centric stuff in it. Probably.**

**And sorry it's so short. And late. In hindsight, the fact that it's late does not at all justify the fact that it's short. Whoops.**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to bobbybelcher, DeamonAngel Song for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**PsycoFangirl: Whoops. Thanks! As for the plan... I dunno, just seemed like something he'd do. And the smile... well, just think creeper/stalker and that's probably pretty close.**

**Ruari McDonald: Thanks!**

**Dark Pit not Pittoo: I know, right? I swear that's what it looks like.**


	22. Chapter 21

**(And... cue the messing of the disclaimer!)**

**I do not own the Legend of Zelda. However, I do own Spider-Man. And because of that, I now declare that Spider-Man 3 never happened. You're welcome.**

***Claps* (Oh, I ****_approve_**** of this one. Good call. Oh, wait- CURSE YOU, UNIVERSE!)**

* * *

"I hate him so much..." Blue muttered crankily. He was, of course, talking about Shadow, who was taking great delight in making the Link's lives as difficult and infuriating as possible.

"He's coming whether we like it or not," Lore said through clenched teeth. "So we may as well get used to it. Steam, how's that song coming?"

"I almost got it," Steam called. "I just forgot the last fifteen notes. As soon as I remember those I'll be good."

"Just say the summons already," Mask groaned.

"No! It's demeaning and silly, and it's much more dignified to use the song," Steam snapped.

"If you could remember it..." Sketch said, rolling his eyes.

"Wait, hold on," Steam said suddenly. He raised his Spirit Flute to his mouth again and tried, for the fifty-seventh time, to summon the Spirit Train. And he finally got the song right.

"Took you long enough," Blue griped as the Train slowly ground to a halt in front of them, having randomly spawned both itself and a set of tracks. Steam glared at him before pulling the main door open and climbing up the stairs into the car.

"Aw, but I was having fun..." Shadow lamented. Although, his idea of fun had involved playing keep-away with the sleeping Ezlo while a somewhat-frantic Speck chased him, so nobody else was really all that disappointed.

Steam poked his head back out the Train door. "For all the complaining you people were doing, you are _really_ slow. Come on already!"

"Chill, dude," Lore told him. "None of the rest of us have been on a Train before. I think," he added in a confiding tone, "Realm might be freaking a little." Steam raised an eyebrow and glanced over at his friend.

"How do you steer?" Realm said, gaping.

"...Point taken," Steam decided. "But seriously, weren't we in a hurry?"

"Touché," Lore replied. He turned and bellowed, "EVERYONE ON THE METAL DEATH TRAP!"

"My Train is not a death trap!" Steam protested. "It's perfectly safe!"

Gen smacked Lore upside the head. "You idiot." He then gave the rest of the group a grin. "Steam's right, it's not a death trap. We all trust him to drive, right?"

"Just keep Realm away from the steering mechanism and we'll be fine," Sketch said, clambering up the steps and into the car. "Ooh, buttons!"

"I like buttons," Red said, immediately perking up and climbing into the car after Steam. His three brothers glanced at each other, shrugged, and followed him. This caused the rest of the group to board as well, with Shadow bringing up the rear.

"Buttons," he snorted. "Yes, lets have a button-pushing party and see how fast we can crash."

"Shadow!" Dusk snapped.

"Oh, nothing..."

The inside of the Train was colored blue and gold, much like the outside, and was covered in windows. Conveniently, the passenger car was perfectly sized to fit all the Links... mostly.

"Well... it almost worked," Steam said from where he was poking in from the engine car. The group in the passenger section was literally one person too big to fit comfortably, and everyone was looking rather squished. Shadow in particular was incredibly annoyed.

"Absolutely not, no thanks," he announced. "Hey, wolf-boy. Got any room in that shadow of yours?"

Dusk, who was unfortunately standing right next to Shadow, looked at him curiously. "What...?"

His question was abruptly answered as the shade put his foot down on Dusk's shadow and _melted_ straight into it. Dusk stared at his shadow in slight disbelief and a good amount of panic.

"Whatever you do in there, _don't touch anything!_" he yelped. "Midna will _kill _me if she finds someone messed with that while she was gone."

_"__Oh, don't worry,"_ Shadow's voice drifted up from the floor. _"__I have no intention of purposefully ruining this _very _comfortable resting area. Don't be surprised if I'm not around for... oh, give or take two weeks."_

"Why does this always happen to me?" Dusk groaned.

"On the bright side," Wind told him, "now there's plenty of room for the rest of us."

Dusk perked up slightly. "True."

Steam stared for a moment, decided he was better off not knowing, and climbed back into the engine car of the Train. "Alright everyone, hold on!"

He eased the lever forward and the Spirit Train slowly chuffed its way up to full speed, racing along the Tracks towards... somewhere. Steam figured Malladus had to be around someplace, he just had to look around a bit. And the quickest way to do that was on a Train. Not to mention that Malladus would probably have the Demon Train back and would be riding around causing chaos, if he wasn't mistaken. The only problem was where.

The plan, then, was to drive around everywhere Steam could think of and try to find Malladus. If Vaati and Ganon from Vio, Red, Blue, and Green's Hyrule were any indication he was bound to be here.

Naturally, this was easier said than done.

"...Are we there yet?" Mask called, despite only having been riding for three minutes. Steam facepalmed. This was going to be a _long_ trip.

* * *

"...Welcome... back..." Demise ground out, not meaning the words in the slightest. Inside his head, Hyrule Ganon was raging furiously to the best of his immaterial ability. Vaati was sulking. And neither one of them were happy to be back.

_How dare that insolent little whelp!_ Hyrule Ganon seethed. _I demand to be released so that I may pummel him into oblivion. No one treats Ganon that way!_

_Whelps, technically_, Vaati told him. _And clearly, _they _treat you that way. Your argument is invalid._

Hyrule Ganon shrieked in fury, and something crashed. Vaati yelled something in reply, and almost simultaneously something else exploded. Naturally, an all-out war followed.

Demise, well-used to this by now, didn't even flinch. Although he dearly wished he was alone in his head. It then occurred to him that Vaati hadn't specified himself, seeing as how there were two of them. Demise listened to the yelling for a moment, then decided.

"Demon Vaati," he muttered.

_What!?_ Demon Vaati snarled in between explosions.

"Nothing, just differentiating," Demise replied. He wasn't really paying attention anyways, due to the fact that he was currently hunting/stalking goddesses.

_Well do it quieter! I'm busy beating Hyrule Ganon to a pulp. It's payback time for controlling me back before we got into this mess!_

Yet another thing exploded. Demise solidly ignored it.

All things considered, he decided, it was much more enjoyable only having two violent creatures in his head. Much calmer that way

* * *

It was ocurring to Malladus, as he drove his Demon Train straight through a building, that he was slightly limited when it came to acts of villainy.

Aside from his skill with possessions, which could really only be done with one person at a time, Malladus was more-or-less firmly confined to his Train in terms of destruction and transportation. He really didn't have any sort of deadly projectiles, because all he could shoot were fireballs and at the most those would cause third degree burns which, while exceedingly painful, weren't always life-threatening. Aside from that, he could swipe with his claws and slash with his horns. And that was about it.

His Demon Train, on the other hand, had lasers. Very strong and most definitely life threatening lasers. And of course, there was the ever-amusing ability of smashing straight through a building, which was exactly what was happening now.

Malladus then realized that he was more-or-less outranked by a machine.

He wasn't entirely sure how he felt about that.

On the bright side of things, that annoying pest of a Hero should be showing up soon. Come to think of it, _he_ relied on a Train as well.

...Were they both just incompetent or something? Seriously, why did they both need to rely on Trains to have a proper fight with each other?

Malladus decided there was something seriously skewed with the logic of this place.

Still, there was a battle to be fought. Malladus had his freedom for the first time in weeks and he wasn't about to waste it, not on some pathetic excuse of a swordsman. Swordsboy? ...Never mind. He was going to make the most of this opportunity and crush said boy into a pulp. By running him over with a Train.

And in the meantime, wanton destruction of civilization was an excellent way to keep busy. And if it attracted the Hero along the way, all the more reason for it. He had some anger issues to work out anyways.

Insubstantial imprisonment tended to do that.

* * *

"Er, Steam?" Speck asked.

"Yeah?"

"Not to intrude or anything, but is it _really_ the best idea to let Realm drive? I mean, Sketch even specified _not_ to give him the controls."

Steam glanced over his shoulder, where Realm was fiddling with the map and directional controls. He looked extremely confused.

"Probably not," Steam said, "but I've been all over Hyrule and I can't find Malladus anywhere. So I figured, why not? Realm can get lost faster than anyone I've ever met. Maybe, he'll be good at finding what doesn't want to be found."

Speck was silent for a moment. Then-

"That's the stupidest reason for doing something I think I've ever heard."

Steam grinned sheepishly. "Okay fine. I wanted a break and Realm was the first Link I saw."

Speck facepalmed. "You've doomed us all..."

"Hey, guys?" Realm spoke up from the front of the engine car. "I _may_ have gotten a bit lost. Does anybody know where this mountain is in relation to the map?"

Steam poked his head out the window, stared for a second, then pulled his head back in with wide eyes and a bewildered expression.

"_How_ in Hyrule did you get us on top of a mountain?" he asked. "This isn't even _near_ the Goron Village. I don't even think there _are _Train tracks that go up a mountain. Come to think of it, how did you manage to drive a Train all the way up a mountain in the first place?" He took a look at the map and raised both his eyebrows. "And where the heck _are_ we?!"

Realm shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. Speck thwacked Steam upside the head.

"You _had_ to let him drive!"

"Oh, shut up and help me navigate," Steam grumbled. "Better yet, go get Wind. He sails for transportation, he _has_ to be good with directions."

"I'll just go and do that then," Realm said, excusing himself while the other two Links bent over the map. A minute later Wind poked his head through the car door.

"Realm said you wanted me?"

"Here," Steam said, thrusting the map into Wind's hands. "We're on a mountain somewhere that is _not _anywhere near the Goron Village. Realm did a thing. Can you figure out where we are?"

Wind looked at the map for a minute, then rolled it up and stuck his head out the window and peered around. Then he pulled his head back in, consulted the map, then moved to the door and walked out entirely.

Wind stared at the sky for a few minutes, then glanced at the map, then back at the sky, then walked around and looked at the Train tracks for a moment, looked at the map _again_, and started tracing a line on it with his finger. A few seconds later he nodded to himself and climbed back into the Train with a small smile.

"Head southeast," he said. "We're in a mountain range that borders Hyrule. It's just barely represented on the map, but it's there."

"You're _good_," Steam said, throwing the Spirit Train's accelerator and pressing some buttons. The Train slowly began the trek down the mountain, making a _screech_ noise the entire way down due to the need for constant braking.

"Let me know if you need anything else!" Wind yelled over the noise before making his way back into the passenger car.

Steam attempted to respond, but since he was fighting with the brake lever, failed to make any comprehensible words. It was going to be a long, _long_ way down the mountain.

* * *

"Are we going to allow that?" Nayru asked. She was, of course, referring to Shadow tagging along with the rest of the Links.

"Well..." Farore thought for a moment. "_Technically_ he's part of Courage. The problem is that Power created him. But we know he's primarily untouched by Demise's curse, otherwise he would have been affected like the others. Speaking of which...?"

"Power's back," Din confirmed. "Except for one, and we actually know what happened to him this time."

"That's another thing," Nayru said. "Shadow may be permissible, possibly even helpful. But Demise is linked to the incarnations of Power and has access to their abilities. Are we going to allow _that?_"

"Absolutely not," Din growled.

"Interference Laws..." Farore reminded her.

"..."

"That's _why_ we have Attributes, remember?" Farore continued. "Courage or Wisdom has to rescue Power, and the way things are going it will probably be Courage."

"I _HATE_ the Interference Laws," Din snarled. "Who even _wrote_ those things?!"

"I think the Universe did," Nayru told her. "But we can at least handle Demise when he comes for us, remember?"

"And thank goodness for that," Din said, still slightly angry. "I'd go stir-crazy if there wasn't anything I could do."

The Sisters were silent for a moment. Then Farore furrowed her brow as she thought of something.

"Does anyone remember what this conversation was originally about?"

* * *

"FINALLY!"

Gen poked his head through the car door. "Oh, are we down the mountain now?"

"That... took... forever," Steam said shortly. "I am never letting Realm drive again."

"Hey, it was your idea!" Realm called from the passenger car.

"Shush, you," Steam snapped. He took a deep breath to calm himself down, since driving angry was never a good thing, and then leaned the acceleration forwards slightly. The Spirit Train chugged (much quieter now) down the tracks and towards the general center of Hyrule. They still needed to find Malladus, assuming he was here, and that wasn't going to happen if-

A set of tracks randomly spawned perpendicular to the tracks the Spirit Train was currently on, causing Steam to yelp and jerk the brake lever as hard as he could. The Spirit Train screeched to a halt mere feet from the new set of tracks, which proved to be extremely fortunate as the Demon Train went barreling through with a loud whistle and missed the front of the Spirit Train by a very slim margin. It then plowed straight into a forest and sent multiple trees flying through the air as if they were balloons.

None of that seemed to affect the Demon Train in the slightest.

At this point, all the Links were hanging out the various windows on the Spirit Train and gaping at the new arrival. A fireball shot out the top of the Demon Train and was accompanied by an ear-piercing whistle that somehow managed to sound challenging.

"Would I be correct in assuming Malladus is on that Train?" Lore asked.

"Probably," Steam replied, wondering how he had so conveniently managed to find his native villain immediately after navigating that mountain.

"I think he's taunting us," Dusk noted. His words were further validated when the Demon Train made a spontaneous U-turn and flattened another portion of the forest before rocketing past the Spirit Train again. Steam narrowed his eyes and smirked ever so slightly.

"Oh, it is _on_."

It should be noted that testosterone is a dangerous thing. It should also be noted that testosterone combined with a challenge is even worse. And when that challenge happens to be a race... well, things tend to spiral out of control very, very quickly.

And in the case of two somewhat-sentient heavily armed Trains being driven by two certifiable megalomaniacs who severely dislike each other and surrounded by an one-hundred percent destructible environment...

Needless to say, it was a very bad day for the general landscaping of Hyrule.

* * *

**Alright! Next chapter, Battle Between Malladus and the Links. Because putting all that in this installment would have made it waaay too long. And besides, I haven't been using ****_nearly _****enough cliffhangers. **

**On a completely unrelated note, ****8,020 Views!**** Internet cookies for everyone! And I even glitched them to manifest as your favorite flavor, frosting and/or sprinkles included. Seriously, you guys are awesome.**

* * *

**Thanks to ShadowBeta924, Shadows from Twilight, MerlinHasMagic, Lokilover2468, Leafstar16 and Mrminikoopy for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**LuckyLugia: Hmm. That could be interesting... how will you post without an account on the site? That aside, if you want to try, by all means. Who am I to squish inspiration, right? Credit would be nice though. **

**Leafstar16: Wow. THANK YOU! I actually think you just made my day, and that hardly ever happens. Glad you like my story so much!**


	23. Chapter 22

**(So, Universe, what'll it be this time?)**

**I do not own the Legend of Zelda. On the other hand, I do own the X-Men. Nightcrawler is awesome.**

**(Why yes, yes he is. Thank you for pointing that out. *clears throat* Curse you, Universe!)**

* * *

The convenient thing about having sort-of sentient Trains was that they could spawn their own tracks to run on. Of course, this had rather unfortunate effects on whatever happened to be in the way of said Trains, but the people were smart enough to run, and the buildings could be rebuilt. Hopefully.

On the bright side, it made racing much easier.

"Oh, this is a good day for a rematch," Steam muttered with a concerningly manic grin on his face. He had the throttle at full power and was also pressing every button in the vicinity in an attempt to get a speed boost.

In the passenger car, the rest of the Links had come to the conclusion that Steam was certifiably insane. Or at the very least, halfway there. Because anybody who thought a high-speed Train chase with a demon was _fun_, probably had at least one screw loose.

In which case, of course, the entire group probably had a screw loose, as evidenced by the fact that most of the Links were either whooping or screaming happily with their hands up. And a few of them had their heads hanging out the windows.

Over in the Demon Train, Malladus just rolled his eyes and ignored the passenger car altogether.

"Alright Hero," he muttered. "Let's see your pathetic excuse for a locomotive keep up with _this_."

Steam yelped as the Demon Train blasted ahead as though it had been shot from a cannon. It was literally leaving behind a flaming trail. Steam stared at the rear end of the Demon Train in disbelief.

"...Is that a nitro exhaust?"

Naturally, Malladus was too far ahead to hear him, much less give a proper answer. However, Steam got the distinct impression of cackling. His eyes narrowed.

"Oh, _it is ON._"

* * *

Now, the Spirit Train didn't have the option of a nitro boost. What it did have, however, was a strong connection to spiritual energies (it _was_ named the Spirit Train, after all), some godly influence, and a conductor who blatantly refused to acknowledge the existence of the word 'surrender'.

In less complicated, and slightly more sappy terms, the Spirit Train went faster because Steam wanted it to.

Having proved that Steam could keep up with Malladus, the two conductors moved onto the actual racing bit. Which essentially amounted to going as fast as they could and completely ignoring the need to steer. Except for juking, because that was fun.

The two Trains went tearing through the countryside of Hyrule, smashing towns, trees, and generally anything else that happened to be in the way. They were going at ridiculous speeds for Trains, although the fact that neither Train was normal was helping tremendously.

It eventually occurred to the racers, as they smashed through yet another section of forest, that they weren't actually accomplishing anything. Clearly, neither locomotive was taking damage from running into and through things, so Steam decided to take matters into his own hands.

He left the controls for a moment, carefully made his way to the door of the passenger car, and poked his head through with a mischievous smirk on his face.

"Who wants to fire a cannon at my nemesis?"

Mask, Lore, Blue, and Sketch all got massive grins. Then Steam frowned as a thought occurred to him. "Do any of you _know_ how to fire a cannon?"

"I do, actually," Wind called over the noise of the racing Train. "There's a cannon on my boat back home. I used it to fire at giant storm-controlling squids in my first adventure."

"Excellent. Come on," Steam said, grabbing Wind and hauling him bodily to the cannon controls. "Fire at will." He winked and then shimmied his way back into the engine car. Behind him, he heard the cannon go off and grinned fiercely. Something over on the Demon Train exploded.

And then the lasers came to life and returned fire.

"CRUD!" Steam shrieked as he jerked left and ran straight through a windmill. Wind yelled something about driving straight and shot off another round of cannonfire. Most of it missed.

"He is shooting lasers!" Steam hollered back, mostly because he could. "Excuse me for wanting to avoid them!"

He eased the Spirit Train back into position next to the Demon Train. Somehow the face on the front was leering at him even though he was on the side. Come to think of it, why was there a face on a train in the first place?

A well-aimed cannonball promptly hit the Demon Train in the face, and Steam stopped wondering, due to the fact that he once again had to dodge lasers. He certainly seemed to be doing that a lot. This was just like the last time he fought Malladus, only with more of himself. And less Zelda.

There was a loud _boom_ as Wind shot more cannonballs. They pounded into the Demon Train and actually made the machine shudder. Steam made a note to compliment his ancestor on his cannon skills when they could actually hear each other. For a somewhat quiet Link, Wind was a pro on artillery. Steam was honestly starting to wonder exactly what Wind faced on that ocean of his, what with all the giant squids that apparently ran around and his obvious amount of cannon experience.

That thought was abruptly driven from his head as the lasers streaked in again. They were really getting quite annoying- had he told Wind to aim for those?

His answer came as another cannonball crashed into the front of the Demon Train, which was about as far from the laser turrets as you could get. _Clearly not_, Steam thought to himself. Well, he would have to fix that.

"WIND!" Steam bellowed, wanting to make sure his friend could hear him. "AIM FOR THE LASERS!"

"WHY?" Wind yelled back. Steam rolled his eyes, regardless of the fact that Wind couldn't see it.

"SO THEY CAN'T HIT US, THAT'S WHY!"

The next round of cannonballs utterly smashed one of the laser turrets. Steam grinned.

Until the lasers raked across the Spirit Train and nearly pushed it off the tracks. The whooping from the passenger car briefly changed to screaming, and Steam gritted his teeth. He could see a long scar line running the length of the Spirit Train from the corner of his eye, still smoking slightly from the laser.

..._No one messed with his Train_.

He then proceeded to make an extremely stupid decision and rammed the Demon Train, despite the fact that the Demon Train was at least twice as big as the Spirit Train was. But on the other hand, he was giving Wind an excellent, you-can't-possibly-miss shot at the rest of the laser turrets. And Wind, thankfully, took the hint.

Cannonballs began pounding every part of the Demon Train that Wind could reach. The rest of the lasers exploded, pushing the Spirit Train away, and the Demon Train itself was badly damaged from the heavy fire. Steam was pretty sure that he had won this part of their battle.

Of course, the fact that the Demon Train had also just ran into a sheer rock wall was also helping that assumption tremendously.

* * *

Steam pulled on the brake lever and brought the Spirit Train to a halt, hopping out of the engine car almost before the machine even came to a full stop. Wind clambered off the cannon controls, looking like he did that every day, and joined his descendant on the ground. The rest of the Links climbed one by one out of the passenger car, and even Shadow was out and about.

"I wanted to enjoy the screaming more thoroughly," he said by way of an explanation. Dusk facepalmed.

"Alright, I take back anything I ever said about you driving a Train," Blue told Steam. "That was pretty cool. You sir, can _drive_."

"That was so much fun!" Red grinned, bouncing happily. "Can we go again?"

"Later," Steam said, eyes focused on the smoking and slightly crumpled Demon Train. "Right now we've got a guy to beat the heck out of."

"Oh, good luck with that, really." Malladus was suddenly leaning on the outside of the Demon Train, his light blue skin contrasting horribly with the paint job. He pushed himself off the engine and began stalking towards the Links.

"You know," he started, "I think I may actually be grateful to you, as strange as that sounds. It had occurred to me that technically my Train-" he paused and gestured for effect "-may be more powerful than I am. What with the lasers and all."

"They were very impressive lasers," Gen agreed.

"Oh yes. And now, you seem to have wrecked both the lasers and the Train," Malladus continued. "So now... It's _my_ turn."

"EVERYBODY RUN!" Steam bellowed. The Links, upon seeing Malladus drop on his hands and start expelling flaming rocks, scattered and regrouped behind a very conveniently sized boulder.

"Okay, he's your villain, what do we do?" Lore demanded to Steam.

"Okay... um... well, first, who can use Light arrows?"

"We can," Ocarina said, gesturing to himself and Mask. Steam nodded.

"Right, that thing you did with Demise. Perfect. And... is anyone here a good singer?"

Dusk raised his hand slowly. "I'm... not bad, I guess." Everyone stared. Dusk glared back. "What? Wolves howl, okay?"

"I'll mock you later," Steam decided. "Okay, Dusk's our singer. I'm playing the Spirit Flute, obviously... can anyone who doesn't already have a job mess with Malladus?"

Lore smirked. "How do you want him messed with?"

"Can you freeze Malladus?" Steam asked. Lore considered this, then pulled out his Rod of Seasons.

"Probably."

"Good enough. Now, how musical are the rest of you?"

"I'm pretty good," Gen said. No one else spoke up.

"Come on, I need at least four more players!" Steam pleaded.

"**Not us,**" the Four said reluctantly. "**We're not good enough at being individualized, we wouldn't be able to play four different instruments at once.**"

"Never played an instrument in my life," Sketch said.

"I can use a whistle," Realm volunteered.

"Red's pretty good," Blue said, pushing his brother forward.

"I can try, I guess," Speck decided.

Shadow snorted. "I don't do music."

Green sighed and stepped forward next to Red. "I'm decent."

Steam counted on his fingers for a moment and smiled. Then glanced at Realm. "A whistle? Really?"

"Only musical experience I've got," he replied with a shrug.

"...Close enough. Now, does anyone have a cello, pipa, flute, oboe, and timpani?"

"About half of those are fantastically obscure," Lore told him. "I've got a cello and a drum, hopefully that can replace the timpani, but the closest thing I've got to a flute or oboe is a horn."

"Well, I can probably cover the flute with my whistle," Realm said.

"Which puts the horn on covering the oboe," Lore decided. "And I've got a harp that can cover the pipa, so that works out well."

"Wait, a pipa is a harp?" Sketch asked.

"Well, it's a Chinese lute, technically. Kinda shallow, only four strings, but I'm pretty sure a harp can get a pretty decent approximation."

"...Okay then," Sketch decided.

"Let's just hope this works," Steam said. "Okay. Lore, you need to freeze Malladus. While you do that, the rest of us with instruments are going to play a song. Once that's done, Mask and Ocarina are going to do their light arrow thing and shoot Malladus in the back. There'll probably be a nice big target there, don't miss it. The rest of us are going to be distracting him from those two and doing all the damage we can at that point, and that should hopefully be enough to wear him down. Any questions?"

"How do you know this?" Vio asked.

"This isn't my first time fighting him," Steam said with a small smirk. "Also, Zelda thought it would be a good idea to go over the plan back when I was facing Malladus the first time. She taught me the song and everything."

Wind blinked. "But before, you kinda made her sound like a ditz."

"That was probably my annoyance talking," Steam admitted. "I mean, yeah she can be a little scatterbrained, and sometimes she's a bit self-centered, but overall she's actually pretty neat. Every now and then her common sense just goes out the window."

"Is now really the best time for this?" Gen asked incredulously. His words were punctuated by a particularly loud roar from Malladus and another barrage against the boulder they were hiding behind. Mask frowned.

"Why hasn't he come around yet?"

"He prefers long-range," Steam said. "Right, everyone know the plan?"

"How are the rest of us playing a song that we don't know?" Realm asked.

"Just... follow my lead or something, I'm sure it'll be fine," Steam decided. "And... GO!"

* * *

Lore sprang out from behind the boulder and blasted Malladus with all the fury of a winter blizzard, ice and snow whirling from the Rod of Seasons and freezing the Demon King solid. Ocarina and Mask sprinted a good distance away and set themselves up, Mask pulling out his bow and Ocarina channeling the power of the Light Medallion into the form of arrows. Steam began hurriedly teaching the rest of the musical Links the song they needed. And everyone else stared at Malladus with their weapons drawn, just in case he escaped.

"...And it's just a simple rhythm, you'll be fine. Got it?" Steam said to Speck as he finished the impromptu tutoring session.

"I think so..." Speck said uncertainly.

"Great. How's everyone else doing?"

"Which buttons do I press again?" Green asked.

"These ones here. You do it like this-" Steam demonstrated "-and just follow the tempo I set. Any other questions?"

"I'm good here," Gen said, strumming the harp like an old pro.

"This is fun!" Red exclaimed before blowing on the oboe again. It made a tuneful _blaat_ noise.

"...Close enough," Steam decided. "Dusk, you got your part?"

"I can't believe I volunteered for this..." Dusk said mournfully. Steam patted his shoulder.

"Hey, look on the bright side."

Dusk raised an eyebrow quizzically.

"At least Midna isn't here."

Dusk blanched. "Good point."

"Cool. Are we all good?"

"Probably as we'll ever be given the time span," Realm said.

"Yeah, well, stuff happens. Ready... and... go!"

Steam raised the Spirit Flute to his mouth and began to play a five-note melody in a slow rhythm. Dusk joined in singing a somewhat different-but-similar tune, and the other five Links gradually added their own instruments to the mix. The result was a rather hesitant, but altogether nice-sounding rendition of what was hopefully a sacred song. Steam wasn't entirely sure it would work, what with the instrument substitutions and Zelda not being there to lend her magic, but they had to at least try. And it seemed, as Malladus' back began to glow with a golden pattern, that there was still some luck on the Links' side.

"Lore! Let him go!" Steam yelled. "Everybody, hit him with everything you've got!"

Malladus thawed out to find himself the sudden target of about fifteen spin attacks. The Demon King roared in fury and swiped at the Links, only to roar again in pain this time as a light arrow spouted from his back. Over on a far side, Mask gave a brief smirk and Ocarina fist-pumped.

"You little _cretins!_" Malladus snarled, whirling on the two Heroes of Time and stalking towards them. Both Heroes drew their swords and glared at the villain.

Malladus had just decided to charge when he felt a sword bite into his side. He spun around again to find his personal Link giving him a death glare.

"Whatever happens, don't stop shooting him!" The Hero yelled to the other two. Malladus tried to slash him, but the small child was deceptively fast. And then another arrow stabbed into his back.

Steam eyed the Demon King as he roared again, taking the opportunity to dart in and hack at him again. Around him, the rest of the Links did the same, distracting Malladus from Mask and Ocarina while they shot arrows from a safe distance. It was surprisingly difficult, keeping him contained like this. It would be much easier to have Lore freeze him again, but then the arrows wouldn't be able to penetrate his skin. And unfortunately, they needed the arrows to bring Malladus down.

As Steam was thinking about it, another arrow streaked through the air and embedded itself in Malladus' back. The Demon King arched in pain and flopped on the ground, momentarily spent. Steam took the opportunity with enthusiasm.

"HIT HIM HARD!"

The rest of the group took this command very seriously.

Malladus screeched and heaved himself to his feet, skin stinging from a dozen or more new sword cuts and missing one of his horns. He bellowed something unintelligible, not really focused on making words anymore, and started spitting fireballs again. The Links scattered.

And then another Light arrow hit him in the back. Ocarina gave Mask a high-five.

"I WILL _KILL YOU ALL!_" Malladus roared. He lashed out with his claws and his remaining horn, but only managed to nick one of the Links as they danced out of the way.

And then another Light arrow hit him in the back. So soon after the last one, Malladus was briefly overwhelmed and once again collapsed. The Links moved in again and, at Steam's command, began stabbing at the Demon King. Malladus' other horn disintegrated.

"Almost there guys," Steam panted, sprinting away as Malladus pushed to his feet and screamed in fury. "We just gotta hit the gem in his head."

"Bring him down, guys!" Lore yelled to Mask and Ocarina. Ocarina flashed a thumbs up before handing Mask another Light arrow.

"Everyone, distract like you've never distracted before!" Steam ordered.

Once again, the rest of the group took that very seriously, Lore in particular.

"Oi, Mustache Man!" he shouted.

Malladus froze. "Do you have a death wish?"

"Now, why would I go and do that?" Lore said, frowning. "I happen to like living, even if it's horribly confusing at the moment. Really, how _does_ your mustache defy gravity? Do we even have hairspray yet?"

"What's hairspray?" Blue whispered to Vio. Vio shrugged.

"What...?" Malladus muttered.

"Oh, nothing really," Lore said, examining his fingernails. "Just distracting you, that's all."

And then, yet again, a Light arrow hit Malladus in the back.

The Demon King let out a bellow of pain and rage and collapsed for the third time. Steam, recognizing the opportunity, sprinted forward and jammed his sword into the gem on Malladus' forehead.

Naturally though, it wasn't going to be that easy, and Steam's sword wouldn't go in all the way.

"Guys," he grunted. "A little help?"

Now, granted, not all the Links could fit on the sword handle to help push it in. But that certainly didn't stop them from trying. What actually ended up happening was that Steam and Gen were holding the sword handle, while Lore, Sketch, and Realm were pushing on those two. Dusk, Speck, Wind, and the Four were pushing on those three, and Green, Red, Blue, Vio, Mask, and Ocarina were pushing on those four. Shadow... stood off to the side and yawned. But he was sort-of pushing... with only one arm... well, it was as close to participation as he was going to get. But as a group effort, it was rather nice.

As a finishing move, it was completely overpowered and slightly unnecessary. But it did look cool.

Malladus glared hatred daggers at the group as he dissolved into nothing and left behind the hole that the Links were now becoming used to. Without Malladus there to brace Steam's sword against, the Links all fell on the ground in a heap.

Of course, they were all tired, so none of them really cared at the moment anyways.

"What is it with you Train people?" Blue asked. "It's like you all made a point of proving me wrong when I said you weren't very impressive."

"I should hope we did," Steam snorted. "It takes skill to drive a Train."

"Not entirely what I meant, but okay," Blue muttered.

"Hey Lore, how do you keep doing that?" Sketch asked. "Half the things you distract villains with shouldn't even work. I mean, really? Mustache Man?"

"What can I say," Lore shrugged with a small smirk. "It's a gift."

"You all are wimps," Shadow snickered. He was the only one still standing. "One fight with a wannabe King and you're laying on the ground like dogs."

"Hey," Dusk said warningly with a small glare.

"Oh hush you," Shadow said nonchalantly. "I said dogs, not wolves. There _is_ a difference, you know."

"...I give up," Dusk decided.

"So, when do we wanna go through that?" Lore asked the rest of the group with a gesture towards the hole.

"Not now," Steam said. "I should go and find Zelda, let her know I'm alright. She can't possibly have missed the fact that the Demon and Spirit Trains were running amok all around Hyrule."

"You should probably apologize while you're at it," Gen advised, taking note of their utterly destroyed surroundings for the first time. "I seem to remember smashing an awful lot of buildings during the race."

Steam winced. "Oh... good point."

The group sat in silence for a moment.

"...Are you going then?" Ocarina asked.

"Nah, not yet," Steam answered. "Right now, I'm just gonna enjoy the fact that I'm still alive and sitting."

"You know, that sounds pretty good right now," Green said.

And so the Links enjoyed the fact that they were alive and sitting. Except for Shadow, who was in fact standing. But that was beside the point.

* * *

**And done! And yes, I know I'm a bit behind. But do you have any idea how hard it is to write a Train battle/race? REALLY HARD! **

**Seriously, I think I had writers block for almost this entire chapter. Bloody annoying too.**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to piplup40, AlphaAqua and Xajenn8 for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**Dark Pit not Pittoo: ...I knew I forgot something. Sorry, yes, you're right, there ****_was_**** supposed to be a response to your previous comment. Therefore, I shall do it here. As that is a quote of the Happy Mask Salesman (and would seem odd coming from anybody else) if that were to show up (which it probably will), it will be doing so in the Hyrule/Termina which is native to Ocarina and Mask. Also... I take it you've been messing with my disclaimers? ...That's not good. The Universe already has that slot taken and doesn't take very well to others. It will stalk you now... **

**wowsocool: THANKS! Comments like that keep me going.**

**Shadows from Twilight: Same for me, but this isn't a Dusk-centric fanfic. It's about all the Links. I actually have to discipline myself ****_not_**** to have Dusk be in the center of things all the time. But don't worry; he'll get his moment in the spotlight. And it will be ****_glorious_**** when it happens. **

**LuckyLugia: Well, to me Shadow seems to be a drifter. He wouldn't stick around after it all ends, but... he may pop up every now and then, just to annoy people.**

**piplup40: Thanks!**

**Xajenn8: Gen is the first Link by my reckoning, since I am only going by game content here.**


	24. Chapter 23

**(Yes, I ****_know_**** he/she messed with the disclaimers, but that's no reason to stalk him/her! ...You're the universe, it's not like he/she could get away in the first place. ...You leave his/her sanity alone! He/She's a loyal reviewer! ...Look, just do the disclaimer already...)**

**I do not own the Legend of Zelda. On the other hand, I ****_do_**** own American Dragon. And that graphics change was weird.**

**(Agreed. I don't think I minded the people so much, but you can't change the entire physique of his dragon form and not explain ****_something_****. That, and the transformation sequence. ...Strange.)**

* * *

"... And do you have _any_ idea how much all of this is going to cost to rebuild?!" Zelda ranted. The group of Links, Steam in the lead, shuffled sheepishly.

"Housing alone is going to be a fortune! And not to mention there's a sudden overload of random Spirit Tracks _everywhere,_ and we can't even remove them because they're sacred! _And_ there's that wreck you left when you smashed the Demon Train into a cliff, which just so happens to be right in the middle of a very important trade route, _and_ there's a lack of building materials because you smashed all the forest, _and now_ the Rabbitland Rescue Man is suing because you ran over his Haven and _there are rabbits everywhere!_"

As if to punctuate her words, a rabbit that was usually only found in Snow Realm nonchalantly hopped over Steam's foot and nibbled on a convenient grass clump. Red let out an odd _squee_ noise and promptly began cuddling it. Steam, and all the other Links, winced.

"And I spent so much time finding those things..." Steam lamented

"...In our defense," Wind offered quietly, "we did save Hyrule from destruction."

"_You ran the Spirit Train through the Town Hall!_" Zelda hissed.

"...Mostly," Wind amended.

"Zelda, I was the one driving, it was my fault," Steam said. "Blame me, not them. Would it help if I chipped in on the funding?"

"Well _someone's_ going to have to," Zelda said, finally seeming to calm down somewhat. "We're going to have to buy overseas for all our materials until the forest you ran over grows back in about a century."

Steam winced again and began mentally calculating how many Rupees he would need to pay.

It was a lot.

"Excuse me for one second," he told the Princess before whirling around and dragging the other Links into their usual huddle.

"Can I borrow some cash?" he said. The rest of the group stared at him.

"You just said it was your fault," Mask protested. "That means you're funding."

"I don't have that much money!" Steam shot back. "Besides, we're all Link here, right? Help a brother out."

"..._Logic,_" Sketch cursed as he pulled out his wallet. Wind, Speck, Green, Vio, the Four, Gen, and Realm, being a few of the more accommodating Links, all followed suit. And then proceeded to glare at the rest of the group.

"What?" Lore said defensively to his co-leader. "His Train, his problem."

"We were on that Train too," Gen reminded him sternly. "_And_ we had a part in bringing Malladus down during the fight. We're just as guilty as he is."

"Shouldn't you have a ton a Rupees by now?" Red asked, looking up from the rabbit. "You've been on four adventures already, that ought to add up."

Lore tried to glare at the smaller Link, but abruptly got confronted with the surprisingly accurate image of an adorable puppy instead. The fact that there was a fuzzy rabbit involved wasn't helping either, despite how he felt about rabbits. They were still cute.

"...Yeah, fine, whatever," Lore grumbled as he pulled out his substantially-bigger-than-the-rest wallet. And at that, everyone left in the group chipped in.

Steam flashed a smile before turning back to Zelda. "Okay, this is all the money that I (in an extended manner of speaking) have. Will it help?"

Zelda stared at the small mound of crystals Steam was holding out to her. "...Yeah. That'll definitely help." She took the bag with careful hands and smiled. "Sorry about that outburst, I just... I don't like Malladus. Hearing he was back shook me up a bit."

"I can imagine," Ocarina said sympathetically. "Having your body stolen can't have been easy."

Zelda looked at him curiously, and a little bit startled. "How do you know about that?"

Ocarina blinked. "Ste- er, Link told me. Why?"

Zelda slowly turned her head towards Steam, who was slowly backing away towards the rift. "You _told_ people about that?"

"There was a bonding exercise!" Steam protested. "It was part of my adventure, why shouldn't I tell it?"

"Because," Zelda said, advancing on Steam equally slowly, "I forbid people to talk about it! It makes me uncomfortable!"

"When did that happen?!" Steam cried. "You left me to guard the hole, remember? How was I supposed to know when a new law came into effect?"

Zelda, however, latched onto a new facet of the conversation. "_Guarding the hole_? Don't make me laugh! You disappeared the very next day! And _look_ what happened! _MALLADUS_ CAME BACK!" The Princess was very intimidating at this point, despite the fact that most of the group was in fact taller than she was.

"I... was... fixing it?" Steam offered weakly.

"_Dude, apologize!_" Blue hissed into his ear. Zelda, who was still advancing, let out an angry screech. Steam promptly decided to take his friend's advice.

"I'm sorry, okay?! It won't happen again!"

Zelda abruptly calmed down and flashed a sunny smile at him. "Okay. Thank you for the Rupees."

And with that, the native Princess of Hyrule left, calling over her shoulder that Link (Steam) ought to introduce her to his friends sometime.

The Links stared.

"**...You may have understated her personality a bit**," the Four said, having decided there was a safe amount of distance between them and anyone not used to their speech quirk.

"Most of the time she's cool..." Steam replied, attempting to explain. "I guess I got used to her, what with all the traveling together we did."

_'Anyone else glad our Zelda isn't like that?'_ the red member of the Four asked his other selves. They agreed wholeheartedly.

"So now we're broke, have an insiders look at the native Princess' emotional issues, and have completely wrecked the entire country," Lore summarized. "Anything else we want to do here?"

The rest of the group shook their heads.

"Alright then," Lore decided. "Let's go put another villain back in his place."

And so the Links, once again, passed through a hole to the world on the other side.

* * *

_HE BROKE MY HORNS! _Malladus wailed. As a point of fact, the self-proclaimed Demon King was actually furious. He was merely currently bemoaning the damage to his appearance.

Not that it mattered inside of Demise's head, but it was the principle of the thing.

_Well he stabbed _me _in the eye!_ Demon Vaati snarled. _I don't see what you're complaining about!_

_I got shot with Light arrows,_ Malladus countered. _Easily as painful as an eyeball stab. So I have every right to complain!_

It was worth noting that neither Demise nor Hyrule Ganon was paying attention to the ongoing argument. Demise had simply given up on caring long, _long_ ago, while Hyrule Ganon was in fact asleep.

It was also worth noting that neither Malladus or Demon Vaati particularly cared about this second point.

_Like that even matters_, Demon Vaati hissed. _You failed. Failures have NO right to complain!_

_By that logic, you are also not allowed to complain,_ Malladus pointed out innocently-or rather, as innocently as a demon could get. Predictably, this made Demon Vaati rather angry.

_I WILL SLICE YOU TO PIECES! _He shrieked.

And then Hyrule Ganon woke up. At the same time, Demise decided to pay attention on the grounds that it might be entertaining. The result was Demise eating salted peanuts and somewhat avidly follwing a three-way brawl inside his mind involving a tornado, flaming meteors, and a trident that for some reason thought it was a boomerang.

All it needed, he mused, was an excited announcer and the opening of "Settle it: In SMASH!"

* * *

"...Are we sure _Demise_ is the threat to Hyrule?" Nayru asked her sisters as they gaped at the disaster zone that used to be Spirit Tracks Hyrule.

Din shrugged. "Hey, at least he paid for it. And apologized. Kind of."

"At this rate, Courage may actually destroy Hyrule before he gets around to saving it..." Farore groaned. Din rubbed her back.

"Look on the bright side. At least now there's not much for Demise to destroy once he gets around to it."

"That's not helping," Farore mumbled, burying her head in her hands.

* * *

"Hey, I think this is _my_ Hyrule," Realm said, looking around. Sure enough, the land seemed to be made up of odd chambers connected to each other by paths, with a surprising lack of people around.

Apparently, they all lived under gravestones or something.

"Alright.. Realm..." Lore began slowly. "I can't _believe _I'm saying this, but you know your native Hyrule best. Just... give Wind a map or something so he can keep us from getting _too_ lost, okay?"

"Oh, there's not actually a map," Realm said casually.

"...What."

"My Hyrule is kind of a 'find your own way' type of place," Realm explained. "If you want to, you can make your own map. But for the most part you just stumble around and hope for the best."

"...You mean to tell me," Sketch began, "that essentially everyone in your Hyrule is just as hopelessly lost as you are?"

Well no, Impa's pretty good at finding her way around, but she's always off with the Princess," Realm said. "But... yeah. Basically."

"So we can't even ask for directions," Mask groaned, facepalming. "How are we even supposed to get where we're going if we don't know where we're going?"

"I know where we're going," Realm contradicted. "I just have no idea how to get there. Might as well start now, I suppose!"

And with that, Realm marched off in a completely random direction, sword drawn and shield... hopefully not missing. The rest of the group trailed behind, exchanging confused glances.

And thus began the trial of Realm's directional leadership.

* * *

"Well this isn't it," Realm decided.

The group was on an island in the middle of a lake. It just so happened to be the only lake in Hyrule. It was also the only island in the lake.

"How did you even get here in the first place?" Speck asked, utterly confused. "I thought you couldn't swim."

"Not even a little," Realm agreed. Speck's brow furrowed.

"... _What?_"

* * *

"...Nope," Realm said.

This time, the group was standing on an archipelago on the farthest eastern side of Hyrule. There was some sort of fortress built up on it, and somehow the group had gotten up onto one of the walls despite there being no stairs whatsoever.

"I'm beginning to think your directional sense defies logic," Vio said.

* * *

"Definitely not!" Realm shrieked.

The group was in the middle of a forest which also happened to be infested with Octoroks. The Octoroks also happened to have a nasty habit of swarming. And they also reacted badly to the color green.

Why green-hating Octoroks lived in a forest was an obvious question. Unfortunately, none of the Links were of the mind to think this particular question as they were all running from a death swarm.

In particular, Steam was wishing he'd remembered his engineer outfit.

* * *

"Nuh-uh," Realm stated.

They were still in a part of a forest, although everone had lost track of which part it was a while ago. This time though, they had gotten themselves lost in a cave. A very dark, very damp, and very, very annoying cave.

Because the cave was infested with Keese. And the Links couldn't even take five steps without getting attacked.

"It's like we're in a Zubat cave!" Blue panted, slashing at yet another Keese.

"But we don't have any Repel!" Mask realized.

There was a moment of silence as the Links considered the implications of that statement. Then-

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Later, of course, Blue was whacked upside the head by all three of his brothers for breaking things. Mask, on the other hand, went around for the next hour limping because Ocarina had 'accidentally' dropped a large rock on it.

* * *

"...Still no," Realm decided. Then spat sand back out of his mouth.

They were in a desert area this time. And while there weren't many enemies to deal with, there were an awful lot of sandtraps.

"Pull harder!" Lore snapped to his rescuers as they hauled on his arms. This was the fourth sandtrap he'd fallen into in an hour. As such, the novelty was wearing thin, and rather than being terrified for his life Lore was beginning to merely be annoyed.

* * *

"...Well, at least we're in the general biome," Realm said cheerfully.

The group was somewhere in a mountain range.

...That was it. They were somewhere in a mountain range. But nobody had _any_ idea as to where.

The rest of the Links were really starting to wonder whether or not Realm was actually sane.

* * *

"...Realm, this is the same island as the first try," Gen said.

"Yep," Realm agreed.

"...How the heck did we manage this twice?"

"No idea," Realm said promptly. Behind him, Vio revamped his classification from just logic defying to both logic and physics defying.

* * *

"Well that's not right..." Realm muttered.

"Of course not, we're in a graveyard!" Blue snapped.

Randomly, one of the gravestones slid aside with a grating noise to reveal an old man climbing out from under it. He straightened up with a satisfied sigh, then turned and came face to face with Realm.

"I already gave you a sword, now go away and leave me alone!" the old man scolded in a crotchety tone. He then promptly disappeared back underneath his gravestone, somehow managing to make the grating noise sound disdainful.

"I think that's the best mood I've ever seen him in," Realm commented. "Wonder if it's his birthday?"

* * *

"Hmmm..." Realm muttered, staring out at the ocean.

"Er... Realm," Wind said, "I don't think this is it."

"Of course not," Realm said. "I just happen to like beaches. Lucky we found this spot, eh?"

Wind facepalmed.

* * *

"I'm pretty sure we need to cross this bridge!" Realm yelled over the sound of the water.

"That's what you said about that last three bridges!" Steam yelled back. "I don't care _where_ you think this leads us, I am _not_ going through another white water adventure! Your idea of a stable bridge is equivalent to a model made of toothpicks!"

* * *

"You just _had_ to lose your shield on that beach," Mask growled. Realm just shrugged as they all followed Wind back to the coastline.

* * *

"Seriously, this is the third time," Lore complained. They were back on the island in the lake.

Again.

"...Okay, this is a little odd even for me," Realm admitted.

"Thank goodness," Green muttered to Vio. "If he still considered this normal, I think I might have snapped."

* * *

"...I think this is it, actually," Realm said, staring up at the two twin mountains. "Yep, this is the place!"

With a relieved groan, the rest of the Links all collapsed.

"Oh, come on guys," Realm scolded. "That only took sixteen hours and thirty-three backtracks. Why are you so tired?"

"Why are you so active?" Blue moaned in reply.

"As... fifty percent of the leader..." Lore gasped, "I... declare this... to... be a break... time."

"Seconded," Gen wheezed.

Ten seconds later, everyone but Realm was sound asleep.

"I'll take first watch then," Realm decided. Really though, this was at least ten hours better than last time. Last time had been a doozy.

* * *

Shadow had abandoned the group as soon as he figured out who's Hyrule it was. _He_ knew where Ganon would be, so there was absolutely no reason to follow Realm on a wild goose chase all throughout the country until he finally found where he was going.

Granted, sixteen straight hours was impressive, even by Shadow's standards. That Link had more stamina than a horse. Probably multiple horses. On the other hand, waiting sixteen hours for the rest of the group to show up had been unimaginably boring.

Of course, there was the question of why he was waiting for the rest of the Links before he stormed Ganon's castle. This particular Ganon was one who had abused him. He was especially eager for this fight for that reason.

So why had he waited? And why was he waiting now for them all to wake up?

Obviously, he told himself, because he needed them to open the mountain. He himself didn't have a Triforce piece or anything like that. Therefore, he needed the Links to be the keys.

So why not just wake them up?

Because the more rested they were, the more of a beating Ganon would receive, Shadow decided. And it made sense. No reason having his entourage get more injured than they needed to. There wouldn't be _nearly_ as much carnage to enjoy otherwise.

No, he thought, it was best to let them rest. Maybe he ought to do the same. Dusk's shadow was _very_ comfortable after all, he really had to compliment the designer. This 'Midna' seemed like someone he would like.

Or at least, not hate.

* * *

**And here we go!**

**I honestly had a lot of fun with this chapter. Writing Realm's mishaps are one of my favorite things to do in this fic. That, and Lore's rants about random and confusing stuff. Next up, battle with Original Ganon! I think it'll be interesting, if the game content is anything to go by.**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to Freefan1412 and xJessymonx for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**Dark Pit not Pittoo: Sketch uses the bracelet... sometimes. And of course I've tried my digital cookies. I had to get the recipe right.**

**DrBananaFace: Glad you liked that! **

**PsycoFangirl: Thank you for being my typo finder. You have NO idea how much they annoy me, so your input is really appreciated. And I can probably work in some more fourth wall shenanigans.**

**Guest: Yep, pretty much.**

**BrandonBGamer: The Tranformers dude? The one who eats planets? ...I wonder if he's ever had lunch with Galactus? You know, that would actually make a pretty good oneshot. I call it!**

**Vanillite the Dragonslayer: Game Theory, obviously. The episode on the physics of the hookshot. That was a good one... Sketch has a bell? Dangit! I honestly thought I had all their items listed out, lemme go check. ...Ah. That bell. See, that's a summons that wouldn't work outside his native Hyrule, so I kinda disregarded it. But the rods are solid. I'll try and remember those.**


	25. Chapter 24

**(I expressly forbid you to mess with any of my readers, okay Universe? You've got the disclaimer, and that's enough. Don't get greedy on me.)**

**I do not own the Legend of Zelda. But I do own Superman. Seriously, dude, get a better disguise than glasses. It's not that hard to see past.**

**(I know right? I swear, the entire human population in his world is either blind or incredibly stupid. Rather like Amity Park, now that I think about it.)**

* * *

"So, Ganon is somewhere in there, right?" Gen asked.

"Yep," Realm affirmed. "We just have to find him."

"...We have to _what?_" Sketch said in a slightly panicked tone.

"We're doomed," Mask decided.

"Hey, it's not that bad," Realm protested. "We just have to make our way through an incredibly complicated dungeon infested with monster hordes without any sort of map or guide- oh."

"And _you're_ the one leading us through..." Blue moaned.

"You're right, we _are_ doomed," Ocarina said to his counterpart.

"**It can't be that bad, can it?**" the Four asked.

Shadow, who up to this point was enjoying the horror of his traveling companions, snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Up to this point," he said, "you've spent multiple hours lost in the country of Hyrule. The _country_ of Hyrule. This is a dungeon. A multi-roomed, trap-filled, monster-infested death hole that also probably has lava, because that's Ganon's style. Do you want to rethink your question?"

The Four gulped. "**We stand corrected. We are indeed doomed.**"

"Okay, really?" Realm questioned. "I know I don't have the best directional sense, but that doesn't mean I can't find something. It just takes me a few more days than it does for everyone else."

"How do you not hear yourself when you say that?" Lore asked.

"Hey, we can talk about Realm's directional sense later," Gen interrupted. "We've got a dungeon to go through, and the sooner we start the sooner we be done with it two days later. Okay?"

Realm looked at him curiously. "It only takes you two days to get through a dungeon?"

There was a moment of silence as everyone stared.

"...You're right, we're doomed," Gen decided. "Let's just... go before I regret this."

Realm, looking distinctly nonplussed, went first through the small entrance in the mountain, since it was still his native Hyrule. Everyone else took a deep breath, steeled themselves for the ordeal ahead, and slowly followed suit. Shadow, on the other hand, snickered. He was looking forward to watching the Links bumble around in a dungeon for the next few days or so.

* * *

For some reason, when Ganon had made his lair inside of the mountain, he had ignored the stereotypical conventions of villainy. While most evil lairs would be positioned in the very center of the mountain, or possibly the very back, Ganon's room was off to the left and more forwards than anything else.

The considerable upside to this was that any Hero trying to find him had to get through the entirety of the inside of the mountain before being able to reach Ganon's room.

The considerable downside to this was that if Ganon ever actually wanted to go anywhere outside his lair, he would have to make the exact same trip. Twice. Once to get out, and once to get back in. Right now, Ganon was making his way back in so that he could confront the Hero there. For some reason, both Ganon and the Hero naturally assumed that the final fight had to happen inside Ganon's lair. Therefore, both Ganon and the Hero headed for the lair.

Of course, Ganon was several days ahead of the Hero by this point. He also had a master key to all the dungeon doors, so actually getting to his lair was relatively easy.

It was the boredom that was getting to him now.

"I was always aware," the Ganon known as 'Original' grumbled to one of his minions, "that the Hero was a bit of a buffoon with directions. This place was designed with that in mind, after all." He waved a hand at the surrounding walls. "Because I had to prevent him from getting to Zelda, see."

The Like-like made a squishy noise of general agreement.

"I didn't _want_ him to get here," Original Ganon continued. "The harder I could make it, the better, because that assured he wouldn't find his way at all. The Princess and the Triforce would be mine forever."

The Like-like bounced in place and made another squishing noise.

"But now I actually _do_ want the Hero to get here, if only to crush him into a pulp and ensure I never go back to that imprisonment ever again," Original Ganon said with a hint of a snarl. "But because his sense of direction is so incredibly abysmal, it may take him weeks to get here."

The Like-like just bounced again.

"And I have nothing to do in the meantime!" Original Ganon growled. "I can't even set more traps because that would delay him even more!"

The Like-like squished something and bounced yet again.

"Because I want the satisfaction of killing him myself, that's why! Death traps are so... anticlimactic."

Squish, bounce bounce jiggle.

"That's exactly correct. Now go and get your friends, I want to see if Like-likes really do taste like Jell-O."

Ecstatic squishing.

"It had darn well better be an honor," Original Ganon agreed.

* * *

"Alright guys, which way?" Realm asked.

"We don't know any better than you do," Speck replied. "Also, I think the fact that we're only in the first room and you already seem to be lost does not bode well. At all."

Immediately after entering the dungeon, the Links had been confronted with a choice. They could either go left, or straight. Neither way was offering any clues as to which was correct, and the old man who had appeared had taken one look at the group, lost a battle with logic, and passed out. The presence of more than one Triforce, as well as more than one Hero, had been a bit overwhelming for the poor elder.

"I vote straight," Blue said.

"Why's that?"

"Because the old guy passed out in front of the left one," Blue answered. Everyone considered that for a moment, then simultaneously decided Blue had a good idea and went straight. And were promptly attacked by Like-likes.

"Bad squishy!" Red yelped, in the middle a tug-of-war match over his shield. Green and Vio ran over and grabbed Red's shield, helping him pull. Blue, the Four, and Gen were dealing with some Zols that had ambushed the group after the Like-like attack. Everyone else was watching Realm like a hawk. With the amount of times he lost his items without an enemy actively trying to steal them, they weren't letting him out of their sight.

At that moment, one of the enemies dropped a key. Wind scooped it up and ran to the left, and everyone else followed suit.

And then they were attacked by Lanmolas.

"Oh, this is going _brilliantly_," Lore snarked.

* * *

The next room was underground and full of Keese.

"Not the Zubat caves!" Mask yelled.

"We still don't have Repel!" Blue agreed.

They were both promptly whacked upside the head for breaking things.

* * *

In the next room, despite all efforts to the contrary, Realm lost his shield to a Like-like. The group was currently playing a rather complicated game of tag with the anemone-like creature in an attempt to get it back.

"How can something with no legs move so fast?!" Steam gasped, sprinting for all he was worth.

* * *

In a different room, they got attacked by Wizzrobes. This time the enemies were actually defeated with relative ease, and the Links started to feel a bit better about the whole endeavor.

Then they noticed that they'd lost Realm somewhere.

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," Sketch grumbled.

Thus happened the first backtrack of the dungeon.

* * *

"But I did find a Compass," Realm argued. "So it was kinda worth it."

"You found a hidden item by getting lost, running from Zols, Like-likes, and Wizzrobes, and accidentally using bombs. Multiple times," Dusk deadpanned. "I don't know how you even _do_ that."

"...Random luck and karma?"

* * *

The next room had a Patra.

"...Nope," Lore decided, and promptly headed out the door in the back.

Nothing else really happened in the room after that.

* * *

By this point in the dungeon, the entire group had adopted Mask and Ocarina's bombing philosophy, and were lighting explosives next to every wall they could reach. They also killed some small shrimp-looking things in the process, but nobody particularly cared about that.

And then Realm got lost through one of the bombed holes-in-the-walls.

And thus happened the second backtrack of the dungeon.

* * *

Getting back on track after finding Realm again, the Links were confronted with another Patra.

"Oh, I don't like you..." Lore growled. "Alright then, everybody take a drone. Slash on three."

Everybody slashed on three. The main drone was defeated rather easily after that.

"...Huh," Dusk said. "For all the fuss you made over the last one, I expected it to be harder than that."

"Oh, shut up," Lore grumbled. "I forgot about superior numbers."

Unnoticed by the group, as they filed out into another portion, was the piece of paper that the Patra had dropped. Which was rather inconvenient, because it was the dungeon map. Shadow, on the other hand, noticed this almost immediately.

But he was having too much fun laughing at the rest of the group, so he decided not to tell anyone.

* * *

The philosophy of 'There are very few problems that cannot be solved with a large amount of explosives' was coming in _very _handy. There were so many bomb-able walls that the Links were in explosive heaven. Of course, the other problem with this was that having so many options in the walls meant more places for Realm to get lost in.

And thus happened the third backtrack of the dungeon.

"Okay, this is getting a little ridiculous," Gen decided as they all trudged back the way they came.

* * *

"Not the Bubbles! _Not the Bubbles!_" Realm shrieked as he sprinted around the room in a panic. Behind him, three bright orange spherical monsters rolled along the walls at a steady pace. They were also following the Hero of Hyrule to the best of their wall-restricted ability.

"...I fail to see the problem with this," Wind admitted as he watched the chase.

"They don't die!" Realm yelled as he shot past.

"Ah," Steam said, nodding wisely. "That would do it."

* * *

"Mask?"

"Yeah, Blue?"

"The next time we end up in a Market, remind me to buy some Repel. These Zubat caves are driving me crazy."

Half the group proceeded to whack Blue upside the head.

"You have a problem," Green told his brother.

* * *

"Hey, these things drop bombs!" Dusk discovered, having just defeated something called a Vire. There was suddenly a mad scramble to defeat the other Vires in the room, as bombs were something no Link wanted to be without.

Well, Shadow didn't care much. Then again, he could spawn a bomb five times the size of his body, so he didn't have much need for boring, regular sized explosives.

* * *

"Ooh, shiny," Red exclaimed, picking up a key lying in the corner of the current room. Behind him, Lore was being chased by the Bubbles this time, and the rest of the group was dealing with a pack of Wizzrobes. Once everything killable was taken care of, Lore was rescued from the Bubbles. He joined the group in the middle of the room and eyed the monsters warily.

"I can see why you don't like those things, Realm," he said.

There was no response.

"Are you _kidding _me?!"

And thus happened the fourth backtrack of the dungeon.

* * *

The next room, after backtracking to find Realm back in the second 'Zubat cave', had the Links fighting another group of Wizzrobes. Unlike the groups beforehand, though, these dropped a key once they had been beaten.

"That's like, three now, right?" Steam asked as Speck picked up the key. "Maybe we should go and find what they unlock?"

"Good plan," Gen said. "Also, none of these walls are bomb-able. I think we hit a dead end."

"I'm actually kinda surprised we hadn't hit one sooner," Ocarina mused.

And thus happened the fifth backtrack of the dungeon. Except it didn't involve Realm this time.

* * *

"There is no 'next room'," Mask argued. "We're in a dead-end room!"

"Go to the next room," the old man repeated.

"There's no doorway!"

"Go to the next room," the old man said again.

"Are you even listening to me?" Mask questioned.

"Go to the next room."

"I'm trying to tell you, we _can't._"

"Go to the next room," the old man intoned.

Mask stared. "Okay, are you broken or something? You're starting to creep me out."

"Go to the next room."

The Four hurried over and collectively grabbed Mask's hand. "**We found the next room. Steam bombed a wall and found a hole.**"

"Thank goodness," Mask said. "This guy is seriously getting weird."

"Go to the next room," The old man repeated as the group left. Shadow paused on the way out and handed the man a red Rupee, which was quickly pocketed.

"Pleasure doing business with you," Shadow said softly. The old man winked.

"Go to the next room."

"Yeah, yeah," Shadow said, waving a hand and exiting. The old man waited for a moment, then smiled.

"Thank you for going to the next room."

* * *

"ZUBAT CAVES!" Blue bellowed, waving his sword around frantically at the surrounding horde of Keese. Green raised a hand to smack him, paused, and sighed.

"You know what? I give up."

* * *

"Aaaaand there's another Patra," Lore sighed. "Same thing as last time, everyone."

The monster was finished within seconds, which was good.

But Realm was missing again, which was bad.

And thus happened the sixth backtrack of the dungeon.

* * *

"Anyone else getting a little tired of these things?" Ocarina asked as the group dealt with another group of Wizzrobes.

"Yeah, a little bit," Sketch replied. "But at least they're easy with a numbers advantage."

The next room was also full of Wizzrobes. It also had Bubbles.

"Not again!" Realm yelled as he ran.

* * *

"Somebody who's not Blue, go and grab those arrows," Realm said. "We need those to beat Ganon."

"Why not me?" Blue asked.

"Because you're going to start yelling about Zubat caves and get completely distracted," Realm replied.

"I got it," Wind said, climbing up the ladder and grabbing the item. He turned around and waved, then paused, confused.

"Where'd he go?"

"He said he was getting a better view-" Gen started, then groaned.

"He went left," Dusk said, already heading off.

And thus happened the seventh backtrack of the dungeon.

* * *

"SHIELDS!" Realm bellowed, just in time to block a Blade Trap intent on decapitating them. Unfortunately, this attracted the attention of the Like-likes that were also in the room, leading to a very interesting series of movements where the Links both tried not to get killed and not to lose their only source of protection keeping them from getting killed.

This lasted all the way to the door, where the attack abruptly ceased as the last Link exited.

And then they got attacked by the Like-likes of the next room.

There were also Wizzrobes.

And a Bubble.

"I am seriously starting to hate this dungeon," Mask grumbled as he hefted his sword yet again.

* * *

The group was in yet another underground passage infested with Keese. Blue had already been threatened with bodily harm if he broke any more walls, so there was silence for once.

And then Realm got lost in the dark.

"I'm going to strangle him, I swear," Lore muttered as the group turned around.

And thus happened the eighth backtrack of the dungeon.

* * *

The next room had even more Wizzrobes, and more Blade Traps intent on decapitation. Everyone was rather fed up with fighting at this point, so they decided to bomb everything instead and get it over with. Conveniently one of the bombs revealed another hidden entrance.

Then Realm realized he'd lost his sword back in one of the underground Keese passages.

And thus happened the ninth backtrack of the dungeon.

* * *

"Question," Green said as everybody ran from monster horde in the current room.

"Answer," Lore replied. Green scowled.

"Hah, funny. Anyways, why are they called Bubbles? They don't look a thing or act a thing like it."

Realm pondered this for a moment. "I... don't actually know. Maybe someone thought it was funny to name a creeping sphere of death after something that pops on contact?"

"Well then I hate their sense of humor," Steam muttered. Behind the group, the two Bubbles kept moving along, content to stalk their prey for a while longer.

* * *

"Right," Gen decided. "Somebody grab Realm and _don't_ let him out of your sight. We've got another underground bit here and I am getting _really_ tired of going to look for the guy."

"Sorry..." Realm said awkwardly. "It's not like I try to get lost. It just sorta happens."

"I'll watch him," Wind volunteered. "I've got pretty good directional sense, so we should be alright."

"Brilliant," Lore said. "Shall we go?"

Slowly, the Links made their way though the darkness of the underground passage and back into the (relative) light of the dungeon. Gen turned and surveyed the group as they all straggled out.

"Well, that wasn't so bad, now was... it... oh, come on!"

"He's cursed," Mask decided. "That's all there is to it. He's cursed."

Both Realm and Wind were missing. Evidently, even Wind's sense of direction couldn't break Realm's streak.

And thus happened the tenth backtrack of the dungeon.

* * *

"What is it with this place and Patras?" Lore wondered.

"Ganon likes their trickiness," Realm replied, and hacked at one of the drones. Over in a corner of the room, Wind was still annoyed that he'd been dragged into Realm's field of bad directional sense. This meant war, he vowed. One day he would cure Realm of his inability to read a map and find things, and it would be glorious when it happened.

But for now, he was going to stand in this corner and cope.

A few feet away, Shadow shook with silent snickers as he tried desperately not to break into laughter.

* * *

"It this it?" Vio asked, looking around at the room they were in. There wasn't much to see, since the room was pitch black and featureless.

"I'm pretty sure, yeah," Realm replied. "I can't believe we made it here already!"

"_Already?!_" Dusk spluttered. "It took us a day and a half! You got lost over eight times! _And_ you lost your sword and your shield at least twice, _and_ you somehow dragged Wind into it too!"

"Only a day and a half? Really?" Realm asked, astonished. "Sweet! We just beat my previous record by three days!"

Everyone stared.

"...It takes you _how long?_"

"Well, sometimes it takes longer," Realm mused. "It all depends, really, on how many Like-likes take my shield and how many spares I remembered to bring. You guys have done wonders for that, by the way. I honestly think this is the longest I've ever kept one particular shield, ever."

"Oh yeah, he's definitely cursed," Mask said.

"I am not-" Realm was suddenly interrupted by the golden light of multiple Triforces all glowing simultaneously, from different spots on different Links.

"Huh," Dusk said, examining the back of his left hand. "That doesn't happen very often."

"Hardly ever," Wind agreed, staring down at his tunic where a yellow triangle was showing through the fabric. "I really hope I don't end up in a dress..."

"...What?"

Whatever Wind said in repsonse was cut off by the sudden appearance of a very large, very teal pig in bright red armor.

"Finally!" the pig rumbled, looking very annoyed. "Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting?"

"Probably about as long as we've been trying to get here," Ocarina muttered.

"Hello Ganon," Realm said. "How've you been? I heard you got stuck in someone's head."

"Of course you did," Original Ganon sighed, rubbing his eyes with one large hand. "But I will have you know that is something I will _not_ be repeating."

"How's that?" Speck asked.

Original Ganon smiled maliciously. "Because I am going to kill you and remove any possiblity of my return."

"...I could swear I saw this coming," Lore said. And the battle began.

* * *

The first thing Ganon did was turn himself invisible and start sporadically shooting fireballs.

"DODGE!" Dusk bellowed.

"What is it with our villains and fireballs?" Steam complained. "First Malladus, now this guy. Next Dusk is going to tell me that _his_ villains shoot fireballs too!"

"Actually-" Dusk started.

"Not. One. Word," Steam interrupted.

Dusk glared, then yelped and dodged a fireball. "What I was _going_ to say, is that Zant actually shoots toxic spheres."

"Oh."

Gen went sprinting past the two, with a fireball right behind him. "Are you really doing this now?!" he yelled as he shot past.

"Sorry!" Steam called, then ducked to let a fireball rocket over his head.

"Over here," Lore called, waving an arm. He was crouched with most of the group in a corner, blockade style. Shields were facing outwards in all directions, and even as they looked a fireball bounced off one of the defensive barriers. Everyone who wasn't already there hurried over, dodging flaming projectiles as they went.

"Okay Realm, what's the plan?" Wind asked once everyone was present. "This is your native Hyrule and Ganon. Any ideas?"

"Umm... Slash randomly?"

Shadow snorted loudly and began outright laughing. Everyone did their best to ignore him.

"Gonna need a little more direction than that," Blue said.

"I don't know, he's invisible!" Realm protested. "Let me think for a minute, okay?"

Blue promptly began counting.

* * *

Exactly one minute later, Blue spoke up again. "Got anything yet?"

"Maybe," Realm said. "We're gonna spread out along the walls and watch where the fireballs are coming from. If it's near you, stab it."

Everyone processed that for a moment.

"That's it?" Gen asked.

"I don't have much to work with here, if you didn't notice," Realm replied, gesturing to the seemingly empty room that was randomly shooting fire.

"**Under the circumstances,**" the Four said, "**it's a decently viable plan.**"

"Good enough," Lore decided. "Right. Move, people!"

Following Realm's... sort-of plan, the Links spread themselves out along the walls of the room and followed where the fireballs came from like hawks. Ironically, even though he was one of the weaker Links, Red was the first one to get a hit in. A fireball spawned almost directly in front of his face, causing him to yelp and swing his sword in a reflex reaction. The weapon passed directly into the airspace that the fire had originated from and lodged in something solid.

For a brief moment, Ganon was visible in all of his piggy teal glory. He seemed to be frozen in place, but only briefly as he snarled and faded out of the visible spectrum once again.

"Good job Red!" Green called with a smile at his smaller brother. Red beamed in response.

"And that's how it's done guys," Realm shouted. "Just like that!"

"He's shooting again!" Sketch warned as more fire went streaking through the air. "Everybody watch!"

About thirty seconds later, Speck landed a second hit when a fireball appeared and shot past his head from behind. The Hero of the Minish promptly launched into a Spin Attack and managed to score Ganon along the stomach area, causing the villain to freeze and once again become visible. The look on his blue face appeared to be absolute fury.

"He needs a nickname," Lore decided as Ganon once again faded away. "Lets see... How about Mr. Teal Pig?"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Ganon roared from somewhere in the room.

"Playing off of Mr. Blue Pig, I take it?" Mask questioned.

"I think it works, don't you?" Lore answered with a grin.

"Very nice, excellent choice," Ocarina replied.

Somewhere, Ganon made an odd strangled noise that sounded like a dying cat.

"You just made him angrier," Realm scolded. "Now he's going to hit even harder."

His words were proven true within seconds, as Ganon launched a string of rapid-shot fireballs. Everyone ducked.

Sketch made the third strike when a fireball shot directly at his torso coming from the left. Rather than execute a fancy maneuver like a Spin Attack, Sketch went for the more... enthusiastic approach. Meaning, he slashed at the air like a maniac.

It still worked anyways.

Ganon froze for the third time, but only briefly. Within seconds he was invisible yet again and throwing fire for all he was worth.

By this point, Ganon was livid. He'd already taken three hits and one more would mean his defeat. ...He didn't have much in the name of defense.

But if he was going to go down, then he was going down fighting. So he aimed his next fireball at the one Hero he hated more than the others.

The Hero native to his Hyrule, otherwise known as Realm.

The fireball materialized directly in front of the Hero of Hyrule and rocketed forwards. Realm, caught off guard, ducked a little too late and got slightly skimmed by the projectile. This was stubbornly ignored.

From his crouching position, Realm pushed off from the ground, straightening his legs and thrusting for the spot where the fire had come from. Like Speck, he didn't opt for a more complicated approach, but he just stuck with a simple side-slash rather than flailing his weapon around. The point of his sword struck Ganon just as the villain was moving away, and he froze for the fourth time. But unlike the last times, Ganon didn't keep moving. He had turned brown and rigid, rather like a statue.

"Whoever's got the Silver Arrows, now would be a really good time to shoot one!" Realm yelled. Wind, hearing this, pulled out the Arrows from his bag and his bow right afterwards. He drew, aimed, and shot in one quick motion.

The arrow struck Ganon right in the chest.

Ganon unfroze and began an odd combination of shaking and dissolving. "We will be back," he promised. "We will _all_ be back."

And then he vanished, leaving a pig-shaped hole in his place. Which abruptly shot out the doorway, through the dungeon, and out of sight.

"...Where'd it go?" Red asked.

"It left," Green answered tiredly. "It went back outside."

"We have to go through all that, all over again?" Steam said incredulously.

"I didn't even get to stab him..." Shadow lamented, not at all paying attention to the conversation.

"I am not going through this death trap after I just survived being target practice," Lore decided. "I'm taking a nap."

"I don't think I even care," Gen mused, sitting down with a soft _thump. _

"That wasn't so bad," Realm said, sitting next to his half-leader. "It definitely could have been worse."

"You have a second degree burn on your shoulder," Dusk told him. "You of all people probably have a right to think otherwise. Now drink this."

Realm took the red potion from Dusk and started swallowing. The burn on his shoulder healed instantly.

"So... does anyone else's Ganon turn invisible?" Speck asked curiously. Lore snorted.

"I doubt it. But after this fight, I'm kinda glad they don't."

* * *

"Really?" Nayru asked her sister. "You moved it all the way out of the dungeon?"

"We couldn't just leave it in there," Din argued, trying and failing to hide an amused grin. "Now it's out in the open and much more accessible."

"This doesn't have anything to do with the fact that now Courage has to walk all the way back out of the dungeon, does it?" Farore accused. Din snickered.

"You've got to admit, it was hilarious watching them bumble around in there."

* * *

**100 REVIEWS! BOOYAKASHA!**

**Congratulations to PsycoFangirl, by the way, for being the 100****th**** reviewer. Have one of my internet cookies. It's specially glitched to manifest around the size of a basketball.**

**Anyways, this is what happens when I try to novelize a dungeon. Lots and lots of oneshots. Sorry to anybody who doesn't like oneshot style... But I enjoyed writing it, so I'm good.**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to ReaderOwl2816, therichardater, dalmationblack, Bluebird0614, Dragonspirit996, Black leaf animations, and PokemonTrainer4700 for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**Dark Pit not Pittoo: Actually, what I mentioned was his tornado rod. According to my research, Sketch doesn't have Pegasus Boots. He does however, have a hookshot, which was why he was in Vaati's group. And yes, Realm has a negatively directional compass. **

**PsycoFangirl: 'Fluffing a Duck'? I have never heard of that. Maybe I'll investigate.**

**LuckyLugia: Cool. My first was a Snover, I think. And yes. Shenanigans.**

**Blackleaf: Sure, I can probably swing that. And yeah, he does have a Fire Rod. And a lot of people have a Roc's Cape, actually. I'm sure that'll be relevant sometime.**

**miano53: Years ago? When would that be? **


	26. Chapter 25

**(And... cue the disclaimer!)**

**I do not own the Legend of Zelda. But I do own Batman. And he is awesome.**

**(Ooh, good choice! I saw a thing once, it said 'Always be yourself. Unless you can be Batman. Then, always be Batman.' ...It was funny.)**

* * *

"...We should probably go get Zelda now," Realm said eventually.

"Wait, Zelda's here?" Lore asked.

"Yeah, did I not mention that?" Realm replied. "Ganon kidnapped her for the Triforce of Wisdom. I was originally trying to rescue her."

"Well then where is she?!"

"Probably right through that door," Realm said, hauling himself to his feet and pointing out the opening.

"You forgot. Your Princess," Blue deadpanned as they walked though the passageway.

"Well, excuuuuse me for getting a little distracted because I met myself sixteen times," Realm shot back in one of his rare displays of snarkiness. He was barely even paying attention to the fire surrounding the Princess as he somehow extinguished it by stabbing.

"That's hardly a-" Steam started, but was interrupted by a new voice.

"Thanks Link, you're the Hero... of... Hyrule... What's going on?"

Princess Zelda stood staring at the seventeen Links and looking very, very confused.

"Princess!" Realm said happily. "Sorry I took so long, I got a bit lost."

"You don't say..." Zelda murmured, still shell-shocked.

"Oh, and don't mind these guys," he continued. "They're my... um... brothers! Yeah, that's it."

"You have sixteen brothers whom I have never met before?"

"Er..."

"We've been... uh... out," Green offered lamely.

"Out exploring... um... ah... Holodrum," Sketch finished hurriedly.

"_What?_" Lore hissed.

"_I panicked, okay?!_" Sketch whispered back frantically.

"So all sixteen of your brothers who I've never met went exploring in a place I've never heard of before and left you, just you, to deal with Ganon when he took over. Is that what I'm hearing?" Zelda said, now beginning to look annoyed.

"Uh, no, not exactly. They came back for the final fight, see?"

"I didn't, actually. I've been inside this room for about a month."

Realm blinked. "Oh yeah..."

Zelda sighed and massaged her head. "Shall we leave now? I _am_ assuming you're here to rescue me, yes?"

"Oh! Yeah, that's why we're here," Realm assured her. "Just follow us back out through the dungeon, if you will."

"Oh no," Lore interrupted. "The _last_ thing we're doing is letting you lead the way out of here. _You_," he said with a finger-shake for emphasis, "are going to be watched by at least three of us at all times, and Wind is going to guide us out. I am not spending another day lost in here if I can help it."

"You seem like you have a plan then," Zelda decided. "Lead the way and I shall follow."

"Wind?" Gen prompted. Wind nodded, then took a good look around and mentally braced himself. And he started walking.

"Now, who wants to watch Realm on the way out?" Lore asked as everyone filed though the doorway.

There was a brief but intense round of 'Not-it', and it was decided that Mask, Speck, and the Four would be watching Realm for the trip back.

'_Do we count as one person?_' the blue member of the Four asked his other selves

'_No idea,_' the red member replied. '_I guess we act enough like it that we do?_'

'_Works for me._'

"Oh come on!" Realm argued. "I know it's bad, but I can't be _that_ hard to keep track of!"

"You really can," Mask told him solemnly.

"Who's Realm?" Zelda asked. The Links, though still walking, froze.

"Ah... I'm Realm," Realm said, grinning sheepishly. Zelda raised an eyebrow.

"I thought your name was Link."

"It is," he assured her. "Realm is just a nickname the guys gave me."

"Why can't they call you Link?"

"We're guys," Lore replied. "We avoid calling each other by our given names at all costs. Nicknaming is a bonding exercise."

Zelda considered this for a moment. "So you refuse to call your 'brother' by his given name under the guise of a bonding exercise."

"You are inconveniently sharp, you know that?" Lore muttered under his breath. Normally his response in this situation would be to come out with the sarcasm guns blazing, but this was the Princess of Realm's Hyrule. His own Zelda, who was used to his personality, was one thing. This was something else entirely, especially since this Zelda was already a bit suspicious.

Of course, he'd forgotten to account for Red and his puppy impersonation.

"You don't look very happy," the small Link said. "Aren't you glad we saved you?"

Zelda glanced down and got hit full blast with the strangely accurate image of an adorable puppy. She never even stood a chance.

"Of course I'm happy," Zelda smiled. "I've been cooped up in this place for so long I've forgotten what sunlight is like. I'm looking forward to seeing it again."

"No sunshine?!" Red gasped. "That's horrible!"

The rest of the group breathed a silent sigh of relief as Zelda and Red continued their conversation.

"Let it never be said that Red never did anything for us," Sketch decided.

* * *

"I am beginning to get a little annoyed with your apparent incompetency," Demise growled. The newest addition to his head, Original Ganon, sulked angrily.

_They've decided to work together since the last time you saw them,_ he grumbled. _You try taking out seventeen Heroes at once._

"I did, and I succeeded," Demise reminded him.

_You used our power to do it though,_ Malladus said.

"It was mine to begin with!" Demise snarled.

_Yes, yes, we know. You've told us. Multiple times._

_By the way, how's your goddess-hunting going? _Original Ganon asked.

"Badly," Demise said shortly. "They hide like rodents, and they're just as good as the real thing."

There was a moment of silence.

_Was anyone else expecting Zant to make some sort of idiotic statement there?_ Demon Vaati asked.

_Yes,_ the rest of the villains chorused.

"I suppose that's one thing we can we glad of," Demise decided. "That moron still hasn't come back yet."

* * *

"...I think we're lost," Realm decided. Wind sighed.

"We're not lost, we're just taking the long way around. Or do you want to go back and battle your way through all those Wizzrobes?"

"Well no, but I could swear we've been here before."

"Is this how you always get lost all the time?" Green asked. "You think you've been there when you haven't?"

"No, most of the time I genuinely have no idea where I'm going," Realm told him. "But I could _swear_ we've been through this room before."

"That's because all the rooms look the same," Dusk muttered. Realm blinked.

"Oh yeah..."

Lore groaned. "Why did we ever think letting you lead was a good idea?"

* * *

Shadow sat cross-legged on the ground outside the dungeon examining his fingernails. The minute he'd realized they had to go back out through the dungeon, he had essentially bailed on the rest of the group. His exact thoughts were somewhere along the lines of '_Screw this, I'm out._' He had then dissolved into... well, shadows, and reformed outside the dungeon wall, where he sat down to wait. If the idiots he traveled with had any intelligence, they would put someone else in charge of navigating the way out.

But Shadow had grave doubts about the intelligence of the other Links, so he doubted that.

Of course, he also needed some cool-down time, being exceedingly annoyed that he hadn't even gotten a chance to hurt Ganon. He was apt to kill something in the meantime, and killing one of his traveling companions was _bound_ to go over well.

Not.

But at least Ganon still got beaten to a pulp, even if it wasn't by him. And judging from what he heard, there was still one more shot since Demise was still around.

Plus there were the other Ganons and Ganondorfs waiting to be tortured.

Shadow stretched and repositioned himself on the ground. All that was left to do now was to be patient.

Might as well get a nap out of it.

* * *

"Remind me why we decided to let Shadow tag along with Courage," Farore said.

"I think we thought he could help?" Nayru guessed.

Farore snorted. "Hardly likely. He's sitting and waiting!"

"At least he's smart then," Din said approvingly. "At least one of them has the sense to get out quickly. And he's even sticking around."

"Why is that, d'you think?"

"Maybe he cares?" Nayru suggested.

"...Highly unlikely," Farore decided. "He's probably got some sort of reason related to revenge, or something."

"So he cares about revenge," Din said.

"I thought that was kind of obvious," Farore replied.

"Then he cares," Nayru stated. "Just not about the group. Maybe."

Farore sighed. "Oh... whatever. But if he's going to stick around, and he apparently will, then he'd better start putting in some work."

"Goodness, you're cranky today," Din muttered. "What got you so riled?"

Her sister sighed again. "I don't know, I guess I'm just... bored."

"You and me both," Din told her. "I don't know where Demise thinks we are, but wherever he's looking isn't right at all." She paused for a moment before continuing, "And I was really looking forward to having a good beat-down too..."

* * *

"Here we are," Wind announced. "This door here's the exit."

"You are a directional genius," Gen told him before marching out the door. The cry of "Elbow room!" drifted back to the rest of the group.

"Move, you lumps," Lore said, pushing. "The sooner I get out of here the less likely I am to go crazy."

"Pretty sure you're already there," Mask replied, earning him a sudden and furious chase out the door and around the mountain. The rest of the group, Zelda in the lead, filed out in a much slower and orderly fashion.

"Thank you for rescuing me," Zelda said, nodding to the Links.

"Realm did most of it, really," Dusk answered. "We only came in for the final bit."

"Still, you contributed," Zelda told him. "For that I am grateful."

The group shuffled and generally looked embarrassed.

"Now, I believe I shall return to my castle. I am sure Impa has been worriiiiiwhat on earth is that?!"

The Links turned to see what Zelda was looking at.

"Ah," Ocarina said. "That would be a hole in the fabric of time, space, and possibly reality."

"It's also kind of our ride," Steam added.

Sketch smacked him upside the head. "Don't tell people that!"

Zelda narrowed her eyes. "That's why you're here, isn't it."

Everyone fidgeted.

"They're not your brothers." This statement was directed to Realm, who fidgeted even more. "Who are they really?"

"We are related, kinda," Wind assured her. "Just not in the way you would think. But yeah, we're here to take care of that."

Zelda considered this.

"In your position, I would not have told me either," she said eventually. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, Lore and Mask included since they had rejoined the group a few seconds ago.

"I will return to Hyrule Castle," Zelda decided. "You clearly have other things to take care of."

"Have I ever told you you're awesome?" Realm asked.

"No, I believe this is the first time we've met, actually," Zelda smiled.

Realm blinked. "Then how'd you know my name?"

"I'm the Princess of Hyrule, I'm allowed to know impossible things," Zelda told him. "Good luck with fixing reality."

With that, Princess Zelda walked away, somehow managing to be graceful regardless of the fact that she was walking in rocks and dust.

"She's... different," Speck decided.

"Wish I'd met her sooner," Realm said, rubbing his neck.

"**She reminds us of our Zelda,**" the Four said wistfully. "**They both take things in stride.**"

"Well hey, maybe we'll meet her next," Gen said. "It could be your Hyrule on the other side of the hole."

At that point, Shadow walked up.

"Took you long enough," he said shortly,

"Where have you been?" Dusk asked.

"I've been waiting for you people," Shadow said. "You take _forever_ navigating dungeons. I already knew the way out, so I left."

"And you didn't think to help us with that knowledge?"

Shadow shrugged. "It's a lot more fun to watch you struggle."

Nobody really knew how to respond to that.

"...We don't have anything else left to do here, right?" Blue asked.

Lore looked around and surveyed the surrounding area. "Don't think so. We're surprisingly low on collateral damage this time."

"Let's go then," Gen said.

* * *

Dusk walked out of the hole, took one look around, and promptly turned white, for two reasons.

The first reason was that this was _his _Hyrule, which meant he had to fight Zant, again. And also Ganondorf.

The second reason was that Midna was glaring at him with the intensity of a lethal laser beam.

"_WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN__?_"

"Ah... saving the universe?" Dusk offered. Behind him, the rest of the group watched with reactions ranging from interest (Lore and Shadow), to terror (basically everyone else).

"I have been waiting here for _weeks!_" Midna shouted. "I summoned Cuckoos! I _hate_ Cuckoos! _I watched a HOLE! DO YOU HAVE __ANY __IDEA HOW BORING IT'S BEEN?!_"

Dusk flinched away from her fury, then rallied for a response. "Hey, _you_ threw us into the hole again! If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have left! And then you wouldn't have been bored!"

"Excuses!" Midna sneered. "From the looks of things, _you_ haven't been bored at all! There's, what, how many of you now?"

"Seventeen-ish," Steam offered meekly.

"Thank you," Midna told him. Then she whirled on Dusk again. "SEVENTEEN OF YOU!"

"This hasn't been all fun and games for me, you know!" Dusk yelled back. "I'll have you know I've almost died multiple times!"

Midna blinked. "Without me?"

Dusk paused, thrown by this new development. "What?"

"You had life-and-death experiences without me?"

"Well yeah..." Dusk said cautiously. "We got into a lot of fights. Most of them involved lightning."

"And fire," Speck reminded him.

"And fire," Dusk agreed.

Midna considered this for a moment.

"Unacceptable," she announced.

"Come again?" Dusk asked.

"I can't have you running around on an adventure without me, little wolf," Midna told him. "This time, I'm coming with you and I'm not letting you out of my sight."

"Good timing, actually," Dusk replied, relieved that most of the argument was over. "We've got a few things to do in my Hyrule. Zant's back."

Midna's eye narrowed dangerously.

"Ganondorf too," Dusk continued. "We're going to go and beat the stuffing out of them. Wanna join us?"

"Do you even need to ask?" Midna smirked, twirling into the air and perching her elbow on Dusk's shoulder.

"I guess not," Dusk said, returning the smile. He turned to the rest of the group. "Midna's gonna tag along with us. Any objections?"

"Objecting to her means certain death," Steam said vehemently. "I'm good, thanks."

"I like her," Shadow said firmly. "I have no problems with this."

"Hello there," Midna said, looking Shadow over with interest. "You're new."

Shadow just smirked.

"So Dusk," Gen started, "this is your native Hyrule, obviously. Any ideas on where to find your villains?"

"Well, Ganondorf would have been here in the Castle," Dusk said, gesturing to the still-empty throne room. "Zant... if I had to guess, he should be in the Twilight Realm. Which could pose a problem."

"What kind of problem?" Wind asked.

Dusk ran a hand through his hair awkwardly. "How do you all feel about getting cursed?"

* * *

**Yes, I know I'm late. I blame writers block. It was very strong in this chapter.**

**We might be spending a good amount of time in Dusk's Hyrule, mainly because I've got a good idea for Zant, also because this particular Hyrule is ****_biiiig_****, and also because I kinda want to. I promise not to be overbearing with it though.**

**On a completely unrelated note, we passed 10,000 views! We're actually in the 11,000's somewhere, but I forgot the exact number. Whoop-whoop!**

* * *

**Thanks to ubermaster, ChocChipCookie1, CherryPuffball, DemonCry, Skystar901, and mirroshadow92 for favoriting/folllowing!**

* * *

**Freefan1412: That's basically the premise for his entire character. But it's ****_really _****fun to write him.**

**Bluebird0614: Yep. I took a look at a map for this thing, and ****_dang_**** is it complicated.**

**Dark Pit not Pittoo: Oh yeah, I forgot about that. Guess I missed them somewhere. Thanks!**

**PsycoFangirl: I was wondering if anyone would get that reference.**

**Black leaf animations: Glad to hear it./Not sure how I would joke about Iron Boots, but I can give it a shot.**

**Vanillite the Dragonslayer: The problem with that is it's only a theory. (A Game Theory!) Trust me, this story works a lot better when everyone's alive. And I will definitely check that video out, thanks for the reccomendation./ ...Ravio, huh? Well... he's not exactly a Link, nor does he have a Triforce of his own... mph. Lemme think on that one.**

**PokemonTrainer4700: Yeah, I did see that. Maybe I will.**

**vaghn: Oh good. **

**Skystar901: You read my profile, I take it.**

**Leafstar16: Yeah, I've realized Sketch has Pegasus boots. And I'm glad you like Realm so much, he's definitely one of my favorite characters to write for.**


	27. Chapter 26

**(Dislcaimer in three...two...one...)**

**I do not own the Legend of Zelda. Although I do own TMNT. I now declare that the 2014 movie was actually relevant to the franchise and revolved around the guys rather than April.**

**(I hear they're making a sequel, actually. And I'll probably go to see it, because Fandom. *sigh*)**

* * *

"...You realize that question is irrelevant for about five of us, right?" Mask said.

"I'm already a rabbit," Lore agreed, counting on his fingers. "Sketch is already a painting, Mask... er... carries his curse around portably, Ocarina technically counts as Mask, don't actually know if the Four and them count-"

"**We don't,**" the Four said. Vio nodded in agreement.

"Okay, scratch that," Lore decided. "Lets see... can we count Realm's sense of direction as a curse?"

"Not the right kind," Gen said regretfully. "We're talking transformation curses here."

"Well... counting Dusk himself that's sort-of five," Mask muttered.

"I'm serious," Dusk said, though repressing a smile. "If Zant's holed himself up in the Twilight, we're gonna have to go in after him if we want to defeat him. If we do that, the Twilight magic is going to curse us."

"Most people just turn into spirits," Midna said, picking up Dusk's speech. "Imagine being constantly afraid, terrified even, but never knowing why. You don't actually exist anymore. You're just... there."

The group shivered.

"But we're a bit different," Dusk continued. "Because we're the Hero...es, we're affected differently. It's kind of like a compromise between the Twilight magic and the goddess's power that protects us." He paused as a thought occurred to him. "We _do_ all have divine protection, right?"

"...Define 'divine protection'," Sketch said.

"Just... anything given to you by a deity," Dusk decided.

Mask and Ocarina raised their left hands simultaneously. "Triforce."

"Same," Gen said with a brief smirk.

"Got mine," Lore demonstrated.

Wind followed suit and held up his left hand as well, smiling.

"I've got a piece of it," Realm said somewhat hesitantly. "Pretty sure that counts."

"And I've got one," Sketch added.

"And I know I have it," Dusk said thoughtfully. "What about the rest of you?"

Speck, the Four, Steam, and Red, Green, Vio, and Blue exchanged glances.

"**We... don't have Triforces,**" the Four said.

"I don't actually think I ever heard it mentioned on our journey," Vio mused, frowning.

"We've got something called the Spirits of Good's Symbol," Steam said with a befuddled expression. "I guess the Triforce got replaced... maybe?"

"No that can't be right," Gen argued. "The Triforce is literally what Hyrule was built on, you can't just go and _replace_ it."

"Apparently in my Hyrule, we did," Steam shrugged. "Remember it's a different Hyrule from yours. The old one got flooded."

"Hang on..." Wind said, frowning. "You're my direct descendant, right?"

"Kinda thought we decided that already," Steam replied.

"And I've got the Triforce," Wind continued with his hand held up as an example. "Shouldn't you have... I don't know, inherited it or something?"

Steam glanced at the back of his hand with an interested expression. "You think that's a thing?"

"...Well, it's better than nothing," Dusk decided. "If that doesn't work, you can always summon your Train and camp inside it. It's got the word 'Spirit' in the name, it's _bound_ to be somewhat protective."

"Can the rest of us join you in there?" Green asked. "Vio's not sure if the Four Sword counts or not, and I'd honestly rather not test it..."

"Sure, there's room," Steam said, waving a hand.

Midna, having missed the chaos that came with having a Link around, smiled. Then she turned to look at Shadow, who had been watching the conversation with boredom written all over his face.

"What about you, copycat?"

Shadow flashed a glare at her. "I'm literally made of shadows. If we're going into a so called 'Dark World', I think I'll be just fine."

"Suit yourself," Midna shrugged, and proceeded to ignore him.

"And now that that's settled," Dusk said, hastily moving on, "we basically just need to find Zant. I'm not going after Ganondorf yet, not if I can help it."

"Should we try the Twilight then?" Gen asked as everyone started walking. Dusk grimaced.

"Probably the best choice, all things considered. Midna, can you warp-"

"Not unless they've been touched by Twilight," Midna interrupted. "Was that not obvious?"

"Actually no," Dusk retorted. "Okay, that's out. ...What if I called Epona-"

"And did what?" Midna interrupted again. "Had her carry all seventeen of you? Brilliant idea, Link. She totally _won't_ collapse under the weight or anything."

"I was actually thinking she could pull a wagon-"

"You own a wagon? Since when?" Midna snorted. "Try again, little wolf."

"Or we could walk!" Dusk yelled. Midna beamed at him.

"There we go," she cooed. "I knew you would get there eventually. Now pick up the pace! We're not going anywhere at this rate."

A little ways behind, the rest of the group watched the bickering partners with fascination and a little bit of fear.

"I don't know how he tolerates her," Steam admitted.

"They argue like siblings," Red smiled.

"And he is wrapped around her finger like a piece of string," Lore agreed. "She is _good_."

Shadow said nothing, instead taking mental notes on how to get under people's skin. It wasn't very often he got to witness the work of a master.

* * *

Zant wasn't the most lucid villain around. All things considered, he was probably second only to Majora in terms of having an unstable mindset. Case in point, he was currently having an argument between him, himself, and his god- in other words, an random alternate personality and a _very_ annoyed Twilight Ganondorf.

"None of the words you're saying make any sense, both in terms of context _and_ use," Ganondorf growled.

"I'm not going to fight the Hero," Zant repeated.

"He's going to play Hide-and-Seek," the alternate personality explained. Zant then proceeded to slap himself.

"Stop talking for me!" he shrieked.

"I am you!" the alternate personality screamed back.

"Don't use my mouth to talk!" Zant yelled.

"It's _my_ mouth and I'll use it how I want to!" the alternate personality retorted furiously.

"_It is not your-_"

"BOTH OF YOU, _SHUT UP!_" Ganondorf bellowed, his voice bouncing around the Twilight and creating a very intimidating echoing noise. The fact that he was currently manifesting as a head due to projection also helped a bit for that.

Zant wisely shut up.

"You don't _have_ an alternate personality," Ganondorf snarled. "You're too insane for that. Now _explain yourself._"

"I already fought the Hero once," Zant said, cocking his head at a ninety-degree angle for no apparent reason. "And what did it get me?"

"Utter humiliation in the form of a painful defeat/death?" Ganondorf supplied dryly.

"An idea!" Zant proclaimed. "I thought to myself, how can I make this more fun?"

"Do enlighten me," Ganondorf muttered.

"Invite the Gorons and have everyone wear Peahats!"

Ganondorf facepalmed.

"But then I realized I didn't have enough Peahats for all my guests, so I had to come up with a new plan," Zant continued, utterly oblivious. "And I decided on the next best thing. Hide-and-Seek!"

"Kill me now," Ganondorf moaned.

"Because fighting him again would be boring," Zant explained to the air. "This way, I can still get to warp to all those cool places but I can use them in a whole different way. And now since the Hero had an accident with a faulty cloning machine-"

"That's not how it worked," Ganondorf interrupted futilely

"-there are _way_ more players now. It'll be fun!"

"...You do realize you have to destroy them at some point, right?"

"Well, if I _have_ to I can still fight him," Zant pouted. "But that's only if he won't play or decides to be mean."

Ganondorf stared at Zant in disbelief. "I'm going to pretend I don't know you, never heard this, and don't know what the Twilight Realm is. Goodbye."

With that, Ganondorf's manifestation dissolved as fast as he could do it. Zant, head once more at a ninety-degree angle, waved goodbye.

"I like him," he said to no one in particular.

At that moment, the random alternate personality manifested again and slapped Zant in the face. But since Zant himself was the one doing the slapping, it created a rather confusing context.

Zant, being Zant, paid absolutely no attention to that fact whatsoever and proceeded to get into a slapping fight with himself.

To the outside viewer, it was utterly hilarious.

* * *

"Who was supposed watch Realm?" Lore demanded. The Links were currently in the midst of a search for their friend, who had gotten lost somewhere on the way to Lake Hylia. The current theory was that he was either in a cave somewhere or wandering about Hyrule Field.

"We didn't decide that this time," Dusk answered. He peered into a small cave on the side of the path, held out his lantern, shook his head and moved on.

"Well we ought to have decided it," Lore complained. "Honestly, we really should have learned by now. You don't let Realm wander."

"But I've got the best directional sense out of all of us, and he even confuses me," Wind said from up on the cliff where he had climbed to get a better view. "Who would we pair him with that would work?"

Lore considered this for a moment, then turned and waved Gen over for a second opinion.

"Any good ideas on who to watch Realm?"

Gen closed his eyes in thought. "Well, what about the Four? Eight eyes are better than two."

"I'll ask them," Lore decided. "Hey!"

Despite that being an exceedingly generic call for attention, the Four turned around with minimal confusion.

"**Yeah?**"

"How would you guys feel about being Realm's partners?"

"**...You want us to watch him, don't you.**"

"Hey, most of us have already had a go," Lore said. "Besides, eight eyes are better than two, yeah?"

"Stole my line," Gen muttered.

The Four seemed to converse with each other for a split second, then shrugged. "**Sure, why not. It seems like it's worth a shot.**"

"Perfect," Dusk said. "You can start when we find him."

"FOUND HIM!" Wind bellowed from above, pointing towards a slightly greener-than-the-grass figure who was standing in a pose of utter confusion. Realm turned at the sound of Wind's shout and beamed happily at the group as they ran up.

"There you guys are," he said cheefully. "I think I went left when I should have gone backwards somewhere. Are the birds here always this cranky?"

Dusk sighed. "They're just Kargaroks, that's perfectly normal. By the way, the Four are your new partners. Don't leave their sight."

"...Lore wants them to watch me, doesn't he."

"Hey!" Lore protested.

"**That's what we said!**" the Four exclaimed.

* * *

"_Of course_ Zant's waiting in the Twilight," Farore groaned. "How are we going to handle this? Not all of them have Triforces! Not to mention we can't make them all wolves, that was tailored to Dusk and his personality, but we can't let them become spirits either!"

"And we can't just activate their individual curses because they don't all have those either," Dun mused. "In fact, that would actually be worse than using the Triforces."

"Dusk is already a wolf, Lore is already a rabbit..." Nayru muttered. She was trying to compile a list of what the Links would become based on who already had an animal counterpart. "Gen can be... maybe a bird?"

"What does that make Wind then?" Din asked. "Don't tell me you were going to make him a fish, there's no water! A bird makes much more sense, especially with the Wind Waker."

"Gen lived in the sky though, a bird makes sense for him too," Nayru replied. "I can just make them different birds, how about that?"

"...I suppose that's alright," Din decided.

"...And now they want to bring the Spirit Train into it, but that would throw _everything _out of balance, we can't do that! The Twilight Realm is in a whole other dimension entirely, even more so than the different Hyrules, the Train can't go there. But without protection they're going to be in so much danger..." Farore was on a bit of a rant.

"What about Speck, what do we make him?" Nayru asked, ignoring her sister for the time being.

"Hmm... mouse?" Din said. Nayru grimaced.

"Why a mouse?"

"Because it's small, quiet, and slightly timid," Din listed. Nayru nodded in agreement.

"Good point."

"...And what happens if they freak out, what happens if Dusk decides to eat one of them, what happens if Zant takes advantage and kills them all..."

"I'm sure she's fine," Din said after a moment. "Who's next?"

Nayru looked over her list, where only five names were checked off. "Steam?"

"Badger," Din replied instantly.

"Honey or normal?" Nayru asked, scribbling.

"Normal. He cares too much to be a honey badger," Din said.

* * *

"So you want me to launch all eighteen of you fellas from my cannon, free of charge?" the short, squat, and questionably dressed man asked.

Dusk nodded. "Consider it a favor, Fyer. Please?"

Fyer scratched his head. "Whaddaya wanna _do_?"

"We need to get to the Gerudo Desert," Dusk replied. "We've got some stuff there."

"I dunno fella..."

"Oh come on," Dusk wheedled. "Remember Auru's letter?"

"Yeah, I remember," Fyer sighed. "Seems like the only business I ever get these days always rides free..."

"Sorry about that," Dusk said, wincing.

"Right then," Fyer said, slouching around to the back of the cannon. "She can take two at a time. Who's up first?"

"I call it!" Steam yelled, running up to the machine and looking it over ecstatically. "This craftsmanship is amazing!"

"I'll go keep him calm," Wind decided, and climbed into the barrel of the cannon, pulling the fanboying Steam in behind him. Fyer promptly shot them both straight over the lake and into the Desert a ways off.

"Uh, no," Ocarina decided, backing away. "Reality-eating holes, sure. Multiple versions of myself, cool. Deadly monster fights, why not. But this? This is practically suicidal."

"Come on you," Mask said, grabbing his older-but-younger self by the sleeve and dragging him towards the machinery. "This is nothing compared to getting into Majora's Moon."

"But I haven't done that yet!" Ocarina protested as Mask pushed him inside the cannon's hole.

"...This might not end well," Dusk decided, head in his hands.

* * *

"What about the Four?" Din questioned. Nayru thought for a moment.

"...Ducklings?"

Din promptly smacked her upside the head.

"Ducklings flock!" Nayru protested. Din glared at her.

"No."

"Fine then. Help me think of something that groups."

The two goddesses brainstormed. Behind them, Farore had gone from panicking audibly to panicking mentally and seemed to be frozen by dilemmas.

"...Deer?"

"That could work," Nayru said. "Although... do we want to put a wolf's natural prey in the mix?"

There was a soft thump as Farore collapsed.

"...I'm sure it'll be fine," Din said with a facial expression that said the exact opposite.

"Okay, maybe not deer," Nayru decided and crossed something out. "Foxes?"

"Not nearly tricky enough," Din said. "But I think a fox would work well for Mask."

"Agreed."

"You know, now that I'm thinking about it deer really do work well for the Four," Din mused. "Shouldn't have crossed that out."

"I was thinking in terms of natural relationships," Nayru replied. "After all, it would be _very_ awkward to have Courage eat himself. I'm not even sure how that would work out."

* * *

"All things considered, I think that went well," Gen said brightly. Everyone else except Dusk glared at him, because Dusk was used to riding the cannon. Gen, on the other hand, was used to plunging off a bird thousands of feet in the air and falling all the way to the ground. The cannon hadn't even come close.

"This is the desert, guys," Dusk said, deciding to try and smooth over the situation. "We just have a little ways more to walk and then we should be there."

"Why is your Hyrule so big?" Red asked. Dusk shrugged.

"I guess it just is."

They walked in silence for a moment before Vio spoke up with a question.

"So... what's Zant like?"

"Insane," Midna replied, popping out of Dusk's shadow.

"That's a good word for him," Dusk agreed.

"He acts like a small child," Midna continued. "If he gets his way he's harmless. But make him angry and its like he's possessed."

"He tries to kill people when he's angry," Dusk contributed.

"Mostly Link here."

"Because _you_ hide when we fight him!"

"Er... back to the point?" Vio said awkwardly. Dusk and Midna paused, blinked, and got back on track with a muttered apology from Dusk. Midna just rolled her eye.

"He's unpredictable," Dusk said after a moment. "If he teleports it's almost impossible to predict where he'll come out. His fighting skills would be useless if he didn't have two-foot blades in his hands and a barrier to prevent escape. But because he does..."

"Let me guess, he's deadly," Sketch said dully.

"Pretty much."

There was another moment of silence.

"Soo... there's really no plan for this guy?"

"Dodge a lot and try not to die," Dusk stated.

"I seem to remember using that plan a lot," Midna mused thoughtfully.

Lore grinned. "That could probably be used for all of us, actually. That's basically what everything has ever boiled down to. Dodge a lot and try not to die."

There were nods all around at this, mostly accompanied by smirks and a few embarrassed expressions.

And then there was Shadow, who honestly wasn't paying attention in the slightest. It wasn't a Ganon they were going to fight, therefore he wasn't interested. Nothing else to it.

* * *

"This is it," Dusk said as the group approached a rather tall tower-looking structure. "There's a portal at the top we can use to get to the Twilight. All we have to do is climb it."

"...Why do we need to climb it?" Ocarina asked. "Can't we just go inside and take some stairs or something?"

"The inside is a dungeon," Dusk said flatly. "Do we really want to get into that kind of mess again?"

"...Climbing the outside it is," Mask decided hurriedly.

The next few minutes consisted of hookshots, climbing, falling, and an awful lot of curses directed towards gravity.

* * *

"Okay, Sketch. Go."

"Lynx, bear, dingo, penguin-"

"_Penguin?_" Nayru interrupted incredulously.

"I'm sorry, I'm running out of creativity here!" Din shot back. Nayru sighed.

"Let's just go with lynx, they can tie in pretty well to art."

"How?"

"Furs."

"Ohhh..."

"Next up is Realm," Nayru continued, examining the list. "Any ideas?"

"...Do animals get lost?"

Nayru frowned. "This just got ten times harder."

* * *

**You'll all be happy to know I have cured my writers block. I've had to rip my muse out of the Naruto universe for some odd reason, but it's back now. I am focused on the Legend of Zelda. All things considered, only being one day late despite having inspiration issues is an accomplishment I think.**

**Yes, this is kinda filler-y, but I have a good reason. Basically, everyone freaked out (in a good way) at the idea of having the Links get cursed, so I decided to go with that. But now I need to decide how...**

**So yeah. This might take a while.**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to YamiKitsune14, Crystal Prower, sceptile3808, miano53, Saberstar, Irokaichio, and Magic Taco for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**Freefan1412: Wait and seeeee... *grins evilly***

**Dark Pit not Pittoo: Oh, that's alright. But now I get to surprise you because you won't see it coming...**

**Black leaf animations: I have no idea what that means.**

**BrandonBGamer: Oh. Never thought about it that way... fascinating. **

**Ruari: I think I just melted.**

**Guest: See Freefan1412's answer ;)**

**PsycoFangirl: Well OF COURSE he's a troll. He's ****_Shadow_****. On the bright side, now I know I nailed his character. And thanks for the correction!**

**Skystar901: Does the Zora Mask count? I'm pretty sure it counts.**

**Thegeniusyoshi: Probably**

**SkyPirate0614: I don't think he does, actually. According to game content anyways.**

**miano53: Glad you're enjoying the story.**


	28. Chapter 27

**(Y'know, Universe, maybe we ought to give the gag a rest and just disclaim for a while. Cool?)**

**I totally own the Legend of Zelda and as a result now claim the CDI games ****_never existed_****.**

**(...Okay then. I'll take that as a no. But on a completely unrelated note... good call, Universe. Good call.)**

* * *

"Finished!" Nayru declared triumphantly. Din looked up.

"About time. Let's here what you've got."

"I switched some stuff around, just to let you know," Nayru warned her sister. "I want to make sure I get this just right for them."

"Worrywart," Din teased. Nayru threw a good-natured glare at her fellow goddess, cleared her throat, and began reciting from her list.

"Gen will be a falcon-"

"Brilliant!" Din interrupted. "That's _perfect_ for him."

"Well, thanks, but can you save your comments until _after_ I tell you everyone's Curse?"

"Fine..."

"Okay. As I was saying, Gen is a falcon. The Four will be deer- yes, I'm using it," Nayru said warningly, seeing her sister open her mouth for another comment. Din closed it looking vaguely disappointed.

"Speck is a mouse," Nayru continued. "And after a good lot of deliberation, I decided to make Mask and Ocarina jackals."

"Why?" Din asked with a puzzled expression.

"Well, side-striped jackals to be specific. And mainly because Mask makes this one face that translates _perfectly_ into an expression I've seen those animals make. Plus they have fluffy tails and I want to see his reaction."

"...Fair enough," Din decided. "Carry on."

"Dusk is a wolf, we already know that," Nayru said. "Vio, Blue, Red, and Green I had a good bit of trouble with, mainly because they're so different from each other. But I eventually decided on platypuses."

Din somehow managed to perform a spit-take despite not having any liquid in her mouth. "WHAT?!"

"Wait..." Nayru squinted at the clipboard for a moment. "Oh, my bad. I meant foxes."

"How do you get 'platypuses' out of 'foxes'?!" Din sputtered.

Nayru shrugged.

"Just... explain," Din ground out.

"Basically, because there are red foxes," Nayru said. "And I can substitute a light grey for a lavender which can be construed as violet, and a dark grey/black can look blue in the right lighting."

"...Bit of a stretch, don't you think?" Din asked. Nayru sighed in exasperation.

"Well I'm sorry! This was honestly the best I could come up with, it's really hard trying to find a creature to properly represent those four!"

"I don't doubt it," Din muttered. "Wait, what about Green?"

"There is no good substitute for the color green," Nayru growled as though this fact particularly annoyed her. "He'll have to make do with being brown and associating with the color green through the fact that trees are both."

Din wisely did not comment on that logic.

"I re-considered Sketch and decided that an ocelot fit him better," Nayru continued. "Their fur is _amazing_ and I can really see the art aspect coming through with this one. Realm I made a bobcat."

"Do they get lost?"

"They're _cats. Of course_ they get lost."

"That works."

"Plus the general design seemed like it would work well for him," Nayru said thoughtfully. "And Lore is already a rabbit, though I was thinking of fixing his color scheme problem."

"What, the fact that he's pink? That's hilarious!"

"Well yes, but I'm pretty sure that's actually a result of a incomplete spell and a bad representation of his natural skin tone," Nayru replied. "He _should_ have just turned into a normal rabbit."

"Wearing clothes?" Din deadpanned.

"...It worked differently then, okay?!"

"So he'll turn into a normal rabbit, no clothes and no pink," Din clarified.

"I'm thinking about it," Nayru told her. "But Changeling may want to ask-"

Din promptly tackled her sister to prevent her from continuing. "You idiot, that's taboo!"

"Right, sorry. Forgot the walls are so unstable right now..."

"Blue is an inconsiderate moron," Din muttered.

"...Anyways," Nayru said, hastily moving on, "Wind is a gull. Or possibly a seagull, I forget which is the proper term. And Steam is a badger."

"Shadow?" Din asked.

"He's actually right this time," Nayru admitted as she scanned her notes. "Being naturally made of darkness, he'll be immune to the effects of the Twilight."

"Lucky guy," Din grumbled.

"I suppose... oh, how's Farore doing?"

"Every time she wakes up, she freaks and passes out all over again. It's getting a little annoying."

Nayru frowned. "Okay, well, next time she wakes up we can read her the list. Knowing the plan ought to calm her down."

Din blinked. "We have a plan?"

"What do you think I've been doing for the past five hours?!"

* * *

"Now, this is gonna feel weird," Dusk warned.

The group was standing at the top of the Arbiter's Grounds tower in front of the Twilight Mirror, which was activated and doing its portal thing. Most of the Links were eyeing it with a combination of suspicion and discomfort. Shadow, on the other hand, just looked bored.

"Weird how?" Steam asked.

"Er... tingly," Dusk said lamely.

"...Do you think you could possibly explain that a bit better?"

"You're going to be molecularly dissembled, passed through a controlled dimensional rift, and reassembled on the other side where the natural makeup of the Twilight will immediately force you into a cursed state," Midna interrupted, examining her fingernails. "If Link says it feels tingly, then it's tingly."

"**On second thought, we think we'd rather stay here...**" the Four decided.

"It's fine," Dusk assured them. "I've done this about... what, twice?"

"Twice," Midna agreed.

"And I'm alright. Heck, it's not even permanent anymore. You guys will be just fine."

"The more I learn about your experiences the more I grudgingly respect you," Blue muttered.

Dusk blinked and decided to ignore that. "Look, if its that much of a problem, I'll go first. That way I can help you guys adjust on the other side, okay?"

"I'll be needing your sword then," Midna told him. Dusk raised his eyebrows at her.

"Why...?"

"Because if you're standing there being normal and protected while they're all running around cursed and freaking, do you really think that's gonna go well? And how do you expect to communicate with them if they're all cursed and you're not?"

Dusk didn't even bother arguing as he handed over his weapon, which promptly disappeared into Midna's shadow magic.

"All of you," she said, beckoning to the rest of the group. Both sets of Four Sword Heroes immediately became defensive. Midna rolled her eyes.

"Do we have a problem?"

"Well no, it's just..."

"The Four Sword is what split us in the first place," Vio interrupted his floundering leader. "We'd rather not separate from it."

"**Same,**" the Four agreed.

"That's adorable," Midna cooed. "The widdle Winks want to pwotect their swowds... Too bad I don't care!"

With that, she yanked all the Links' weapons out of their various scabbards and holders and dropped them into her magic.

"And I _don't _want to hear any complaining!" she snapped with a glare that could have frozen the desert.

"Yes ma'am," the group whimpered.

Midna flashed them a fanged grin. "Excellent. Now get going and go through the Mirror! I'll be watching..."

"At this rate they're going to be more scared of you than Zant," Dusk told his partner.

"Good," Midna said firmly.

"...You know what? I give up," Dusk decided. "I'll see you all on the other side."

The Hero of Twilight stepped into the beam the Mirror was casting and immediately dissolved into little black squares, which funneled up the ray of odd light and disappeared into the pane of the Mirror. Steam gulped.

"Why did we decide this was a good idea?"

"You didn't," Midna cackled. "We just moved you along too fast to realize what was happening until it was too late. Now who wants to go first?"

Predictably, no one was very keen on volunteering.

* * *

Dusk materialized in the Twilight Realm and promptly landed on all fours, due to lacking the protection of the Master Sword this time.

_"__Well, this should be interesting,"_ he muttered. _"I really hope Midna has the sense to send the guys through one at a time, otherwise things are gonna get really complicated really fast."_

His ears twitched as the Mirror portal made a whooshing noise, and Dusk prudently moved out of the way to make room for the next Link. Lore took one step away from the entrance and randomly turned into a normal looking rabbit.

_"__WOW that felt weird..."_ Lore shook his head blearily. He then noticed the long and floppy ears on top of his head and proceeded throw a fit.

_"__Oh, COME ON!"_ he yelled. _"I'm a bloody rabbit AGAIN?! What does it take to get a different animal around here?!"_

_"__At least you're not pink," _Dusk said helpfully. Lore froze.

_"__I'm not pink?" _He reached up, grabbed one of his ears in his paws and pulled it down to his eye level. _"YES! I'm not pink! BEST DAY EVER!"_

Dusk rolled his eyes and padded over to his friend, who he suddenly noticed was a lot shorter than he was. _"You seem to be taking this well."_

Lore jumped (rather impressively, since he now had the biology for it) in surprise. _"Geez dude, don't do that!"_

_"__It's just me,"_ Dusk said, amused.

_"__Yeah, but you were being all stealthy and stuff. You're lucky I know what your wolf self looks like or I would have _really_ freaked out."_

_"__Why?"_

Lore facepawed. _"I'm your natural prey, you idiot."_

Dusk blinked. Any response he would have made was cut off by the arrival of another Link, who promptly morphed into a badger.

_"__Don't freak out, don't freak out, don't freak out,"_ Steam chanted. Dusk sighed.

_"__Don't do anything stupid,"_ he told Lore before trotting over to Steam.

_"__Me?"_ Lore said in an innocent tone that wasn't fooling anyone.

Dusk leaned down and nudged Steam with his nose. _"Just take some deep breaths and focus on our goal. If it helps, you can think of someone you're close to."_

_"__Deep breaths," _Steam repeated. _"I can do that."_

Slowly but surely, the smaller Link calmed himself down enough to take stock of his new body.

_"__Whoa... weird,"_ Steam said. _"Uh... how do I walk?"_

_"__Watch me,_" Dusk said. He made a small lap around the newly transformed badger, walking slowly so that his friend could see how he moved.

_"__...Okay. Yeah, that makes sense," _Steam said, eyes narrowed. _"I'm gonna try that."_

The whooshing of the portal alerted Dusk to the arrival of another Link. _"I've gotta go help the next one,_" he told Steam. _"Try and walk over to the portal and I'll meet you there, okay?"_

_"__I can do that,"_ Steam said, looking determined. Of course, his next step landed him flat on his face, but bonus points for trying.

The next Link through the portal was actually a pair. Mask and Ocarina both stumbled through almost simultaneously and then turned into the same animal.

_"__Huh,"_ Mask said as he examined himself. _"...In all honesty, this really isn't all that different from turning into a Deku Scrub. I've just got more legs."_

_"__And having a warning definitely helps," _Ocarina agreed. _"This is actually easier to adjust to than aging seven years without realizing."_

_"__You're reacting much better than Steam did," _Dusk told them.

_"__We do have experience in this type of thing,"_ Ocarina replied. _"My only question about this is, what are we?"_

_"__I believe we're some type of dog,"_ Mask said.

_"__Looks like a jackal to me," Lore_ said, poking Ocarina's side with a paw. _"I saw some on one of my adventures outside of Hyrule, I forget which. But this matches pretty well."_

Ocarina shifted away. _"Could you stop that?"_

_"__Aww, but this is fun,"_ Lore protested, following his friend and continuing the poking. Ocarina glared at him.

_"__I could eat you, you know. I have the teeth for it now."_

_"__DON'T...do that," _Dusk said somewhat frantically. _"Trust me, it messes with your head. Also, he's half of our leadership."_

_"__He's joking,"_ Mask assured him.

The next Link materialized and, for all intents and purposes, disappeared. Dusk padded over with a look of confusion on his face, then sniffed the air and followed the scent down and to the left.

_"__...Oh,"_ Dusk said, blinking. _"Er... would you like a ride?"_

_"__That would be nice," _Speck replied, clambering awkwardly onto Dusk's muzzle and up to his forehead. _"Good thing I'm used to this sort of height difference..."_

_"__I assume the tail is a bit different though."_

_"__I don't even know what to _do_ with it."_

_"__It's sort of natural,"_ Dusk replied. _"I'm sure you can figure it out."_

_"__Who came through this time?"_ Steam asked, having finally made it to the portal.

_"__Speck,"_ Dusk said. Steam craned his neck around curiously.

_"__Where?"_

_"__Up here,"_ Speck called, waving a very tiny paw. Steam blinked.

_"__...Dude, you're a mouse."_

_"__I'm aware of that, thanks."_

_"__That's hilarious."_

Speck twitched. _"Says the badger who's waddling like a wounded duck."_

_"__I resent that!"_

_"__It's only because he's a quadruped now," _Dusk explained. _"You're fine right now because mice can balance on their hind legs. Speaking of which, you need to learn how to walk. You and Steam can learn together."_

_"__I'm going to borrow Sketch's catchphrase for a moment. I hate logic," _Speck grumbled. Dusk lowered his head and the newly made mouse slid off onto the ground, where he sat on his haunches and eyed his front paws. _"So, uh... how exactly does this work?"_

_"__Think of crawling," _Steam began, _"but now it's natural. Move like that."_

_"__So... this, then?"_

Steam walked somewhat-awkwardly over to the much smaller Speck and started giving pointers. Dusk, meanwhile, turned around to greet the next Link who was having some very... unfortunate problems.

_"__How-do-these-work?!" _Gen squawked in frustration as he tried and failed to fold his wings. Dusk blinked.

_"__...I have no idea how to help with this one," _he admitted. _"Uh... fold your elbow-things in and see if you can make them lie flat."_

_"__The feathers keep getting in the way!"_

Dusk frowned as best he could with a muzzle. _"Okay... hang on, you ride a giant bird, yeah?"_

Gen cocked his head, suddenly looking very much like the falcon he was. _"Yeah... now how does he do this..."_

_"__Need any help with walking?"_ Dusk offered lamely.

_"__Nah, I should be alright. I just gotta get rid of that weird head-bobbing thing and I should be fine. Besides, birds spend most of their time flying and _that's_ what I'm worried about."_

There was a loud crashing noise as the next Link came through. Four identical-looking deer were sprawled on top of one another in a massive tangle of legs and antlers. If he could, Dusk would have facepawed.

_"__Keep working on that,"_ he told Gen hurriedly. _"I... think I might be needed elsewhere."_

_"__Sure thing..." _Gen muttered distractedly.

Dusk stopped next to the deer pile and eyed them in the way he would a dungeon puzzle. _"You guys alright?"_

_"__**No,**__" _the Four moaned. Dusk sighed.

_"__Okay, what's the first problem?"_

_"__**We can't stand up.**__"_

_"__Hmm... Okay, you need to move your left front leg forward."_

Everyone's left front leg moved forward and resulted in a bigger tangle than before.

_"__No, not all of you! Just you, right in front of me."_

_"__**Oh.**__" _The Four paused for a minute. _"__**This could be harder than we thought.**__"_

_"__Well then, do it slowly. Now you in the back, lift up your right legs so your brother to the left can get his antlers out of the way."_

About five minutes later, the Four were untangled and carefully taking their first steps. The synchronization wasn't so much of a problem as long as they kept a relative distance from each other. A completely different problem were the antlers, which were somewhat heavy and throwing the group off balance.

_"__**Antlers are weird...**__" _The Four decided.

_"__Slow steps,"_ Dusk advised. _"If you need help, Steam and Speck are learning to walk, so you can ask them. Look for a mouse and a badger. I'm going to go and help the next one, okay?"_

_"__**Sure.**__"_

Dusk focused his attention on the latest Link to come through, who was trying to figure out what to do with his rather long and flexible tail.

_"__It just moves on its own,_" Sketch told Dusk as he approached. _"And I really want to twitch it for some reason..."_

_"__It's helping you balance,_" Dusk told him. _"Cats do a lot of things that require an extra limb for compensation. The reason you think its just happening is because its instinctive. The minute you stand up you automatically move to balance yourself."_

_"__Well that explains that..."_ Sketch muttered. _"But what about the twitching?"_

_"__...Fun?"_

Sketch groaned. _"I walked right into that one. But, question. Why all the spots?"_

_"__Maybe it represents your art connection?"_

_"__...Crud. I'm gonna get skinned for sure."_

_"__That does tend to happen to ocelots,"_ Lore agreed, hopping up and giving Sketch a once-over. Sketch frowned.

_"__Ocelot?"_

_"__Yeah, that's what you are. I saw some on one of my adventures outside Hyrule, I forget which. Gorgeous coats, but it gets them in a lot of trouble when the fashion industry decides furs are in."_

Sketch let out a sound that sounded an awful lot like "meep".

_"__It's fine, the Twili don't wear furs,"_ Dusk reassured him. _"Probably."_

_"__Not helping," _Sketch snapped.

The next Link appeared through the portal and promptly fell over. Dusk twitched.

_"__Why is it so hard for you people to balance?"_ he muttered as he trotted over to the heap of disoriented fur.

_"__Hi Dusk,"_ Realm's voice said. _"I seem to be having coordination problems. Ah... how do I stand up?"_

_"__Well first of all, where's your head?"_

A somewhat large and furry head lifted itself out of the fur pile. Realm blinked once, then sneezed.

_"__Bless you,"_ Dusk said automatically. _"Okay, roll over and get your feet underneath yourself."_

Realm did that.

_"__Good. Now just push yourself up on your front paws and see if you can manage a sitting position."_

This happened without too much trouble and Realm sat slightly awkwardly on the ground. He was a surprisingly stocky cat with amusingly tufted ears.

_"__Bobcat,"_ Lore said. _"Makes sense."_

_"__How do you know?"_

_"__I saw some on one of my adventures outside Hyrule, I forget which. Wag your tail for me will you?"_

Not quite understanding Lore's reasons, Realm dutifully wagged his tail. He then realized the reason they were called bobcats as he discovered his tail was, for all intents and purposes, a stub.

And the fact that he was wagging it made it look hilarious. This was compounded quite well when Lore burst into the rabbit equivalent of laughter and fell over in hysterics.

_"__...I am so sorry,"_ Dusk muttered. _"Go and find Steam, he's teaching people how to walk. He'll be the badger. And grab Sketch on your way over -he's the ocelot- he keeps tripping on his tail."_

Realm nodded and shakily inched his way over to the ocelot.

_"__Similar problem, opposite reason," _he said.

_"__Tell me about it."_

_"__And you,"_ Dusk said, rounding on Lore. _"Stop harassing the newbies. Just because you've been a rabbit before doesn't mean you get to torment everyone else."_

Lore snorted. _"Eh, I'll just go and find Mask and Ocarina again. They're taking this well at least."_

The rabbit hopped off in search of his next victim. Dusk shook his head, then his entire body just for the heck of it, and turned to meet the next Link. And twitched.

_"__Oh no, not again."_

_"__Weird..."_ Wind said, stretching his wings as far as they could go. He flapped them a couple times and nearly fell over, having unbalanced himself with the unexpected lift. Then he craned his neck down and examined his webbed feet.

_"__I think I'm a seagull."_

_"__I can't teach about being a bird..."_ Dusk agonized. Wind glanced at him.

_"__That's okay. I used to watch seagulls all the time back home. They were my sister's favorite animal." _As he said this, Wind carefully folded his wings onto the sides of his body, ruffled them for a second, then relaxed. Dusk stared.

_"__...Go and show that to Gen, he's the falcon who keeps snagging his wings on his talons."_

* * *

_"__STOP-GETTING-STUCK!"_ Gen screeched before falling head-over-heels in a poof of feathers. When it all settled, his left wing was still stubbornly hooked on the end of his clawed left foot and didn't seem like it was coming loose anytime soon.

_"__AARRRGH!"_

* * *

_"__...Yeah, I can do that,"_ Wind said with a wince. He walked off slowly, getting used to his new feet and trying not to trip over them.

_"__I hope that's everyone," _Dusk sighed. Of course, the portal then proved him wrong by dropping four foxes of various colors on the ground in front of him. Yet again, Dusk twitched.

_"__Ooh, I'm fuzzy!"_ Red squealed, immediately pouncing on his own tail and snuggling with it. He was a bright orangey-red color, easily the most visible of the four there.

_"__Prehensile ears,"_ Vio noted. He swiveled them around in all directions, getting the full range of motion before letting them relax. _"I like it." _Vio was a light misty grey, which could easily have been called lavender without any arguments.

Blue tried to take a step and planted himself face-first in the dirt. Whatever he said was rendered unintelligible by the floor that was in the way. His coat was a dark grey that seemed to have a blueish undertone. It became more or less readily visible depending on the light quality.

Green, on the other hand, wasn't green at all. He appeared to be brown, and also seemed to be slightly bummed by this fact.

_"__I know a green fox would be really strange, but I was honestly kinda hoping to keep my color,"_ he sighed. Vio flicked his leader's ear with his tail.

_"__Think of it as a close relative of green,"_ he advised. _"The green plant grows in the brown dirt, remember?"_

Green considered this for a second. _"That seems like a bit of a stretch, but eh, what the heck."_

_"__Doing alright then?"_ Dusk asked. The four foxes nodded an affirmative. _"Good. If you need help with walking, go and find Steam. He's a badger. He and most of the others are learning over there."_

_"__Will do," _Green said, and began trying to stand up from his sitting position.

Dusk turned to face the Mirror portal again and started counting the Links in his head. He was pretty sure seventeen had been through already, so that just left...

Shadow suddenly materialized and surveyed his surroundings with _very_ mild interest.

"Hmph."

_"__What's that supposed to mean?" _Dusk asked, forgetting that Shadow probably couldn't understand him.

"It's just a bit too pretty," Shadow answered. "I would put in some more shadows and change the light color to dark blue. And get rid of these squares," he added as one of said objects twirled past his face. "They're not nearly depressing enough."

_"__In my experience, they're already depressing enough."_

"Whatever," Shadow sniffed. "So where have all the other Hero-types gone?"

_"__They're learning how to walk over that way,"_ Dusk answered, jerking his head to the right. Shadow got a disturbing grin on his face.

"Excellent. If you need me, I will be taunting a group of helpless animals. Because I can."

_"__Don't do that!"_

"Why the racket?" Midna asked, spinning out of the Portal like it was an amusement ride.

_"__Shadow's being himself,"_ Dusk complained to her. Midna stared blankly. _"...Crud!"_

"Now why are you so worked up, little wolf?"

Dusk, in lieu of being able to tell her, jerked his head to where Shadow was currently snickering at the attempts of Wind and Gen to fly. Midna's eye lit up.

"Well, would you look at that," she said in a mock-thoughtful voice. "A taunting opportunity just waiting to happen. In fact, it's practically begging."

_"__Please don't..."_

"Hey, copycat!" Midna shouted. "Are you so pathetic that you have to rely on pigeons to get a good insult in?"

Dusk about fell over in surprise. Gen gave an indignant squawk. _"I'm not a pigeon!"_

Shadow abandoned his current prey in favor of Midna, and the two proceeded to have an insulting standoff. Dusk blinked at his partner.

Every now and then, she showed him how she actually felt about something. It was... nice to know she cared.

Even if it was only because Shadow was such a good verbal sparring partner.

* * *

**I'M NOT DEAD!**

**Nor do I intend on doing do until at least the age of eighty-five. Somewhere in the eighties, I think. Eight is a good number.**

**Anyways, sorry this took so long. I had to reconfigure some stuff and review all the guys' personalties to find the animal that I thought best fit them. Let me tell you, it was hard. How do you personality-profile an animal for a guy who rides Trains? I mean, what kind of animal rides a Train?**

**Hopefully this won't become a common occurrence. My update schedule ****should**** be normal. Then again, I have to write Zant's boss battle soon... Yeeeaah, I make no promises.**

**And before I forget, Lore is normally a pink rabbit with clothes. How do you guys feel about me changing that? Don't worry about what happened in the chapter, if you want it changed back I can just invoke a cosmic prank or something. Let me know!**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to Target22, Sianna Scale, pokemonfan67, DarkKeybladePhantomofTime, Glaceon Mage, and Jacobstorm1999 for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**therichardater: I... don't know what that means. Who's TRG?**

**SkyPirate06: Yes he is. Thank you for noticing!**

**Freefan1412: I know! My only problem is justifying it right now...**

**Ruari: I have a plan for that, actually.**

**Dark Pit not Pittoo: That's true. Thanks for the tip.**

**DrBananaFace: Because I can. And then I realize what I got myself into and panic.**

**Sianna Scale: Thank you!**

**A Reader: The group has an ultimate weapon? How come I don't know about it?!**

**Guest: Awww... thanks!**

**PsycoFangirl: Well, thanks for worrying! I'm perfectly fine, I've just been planning and reconfiguring to curse everybody. I had to come up with cursed forms for all of them! It took FOREVER! But I'm good now. And part of me is celebrating that I have readers who worry about me :D**


	29. Chapter 28

**(You know, I haven't actually Cursed you in a while, Universe. Think I'm getting soft?)**

**I do not own the Legend of Zelda. And yes. Like a cotton ball.**

**(...Oh, it is ON. CURSE YOU, UNIVERSE!)**

* * *

_"__Alright, sound off,"_ Dusk said. _"__How's the walking coming?"_

_"__Fine,"_ Mask, Ocarina, and Lore chorused.

_"__Decently..."_ Steam grumbled. Most of the rest of the group muttered agreement with that statement.

_"__**Not great,**"_ the Four admitted. They had gotten their antlers entangled again and were having a lot of problems due to their everyone-move-at-once instinct. Dusk sighed.

_"__Okay, you in the front, turn your neck to the left and move down, then tilt about forty-five degrees to the right and take two steps forward. Now you on the back left, slowly bring your head down..."_

While Dusk detangled the Four, Midna took over the roll call. "Alright, bird Links. How's the flying coming along?"

Gen left out a frustrated screech. Wind winced. _"__It's... kinda not. But at least Gen can fold his wings now."_

_"__These things are evil incarnate!"_ Gen seethed. Wind attempted to scratch his head, only to get sidelined by his new biology. He settled for a flap-shrug instead.

_"__Yeah... we're still having some problems."_

Midna stared blankly.

_"__Dangit!"_

_"__Shadow, would you mind translating?" _Wind asked wearily.

Shadow rolled his eyes. "They haven't quite gotten it yet," he reported in the most monotone voice imaginable.

_"__That's a total paraphrase!"_

Midna 'hmm'ed. "Unfortunate. You'll just have to keep trying then."

_"__I am not faceplanting in the dirt again,_" Gen muttered. Midna raised an eyebrow. _"__Dangit!"_

_"__We have GOT to get a more reliable translator..." _Steam decided.

_"__There we go!"_ Dusk announced. The Four breathed a collective sigh of relief now that their heads were free.

_"_**_Thank you,_**_" _they said. _"_**_We're having more coordination issues than usual._**_"_

"Could someone PLEASE tell me what they're saying?" Midna said pointedly, glaring at Shadow. Said individual sighed.

"The Four have coordination issues and there's a general agreement that I'm a horrible translator."

_"__Darned right,"_ Lore agreed.

_"__Quit paraphrasing!" _Sketch snapped.

"No."

"What?" Midna asked. Shadow just yawned.

_"__Moving on!"_ Dusk said hastily. _"__If Zant will be anywhere, he'll probably be in his throne room. He loves that place. There's a lot of traps designed to Curse someone along the way, so I think we should all just get used to our current bodies until we actually find the wacko. Okay?"_

_"__If I could actually fly I would be a lot more on board with that plan,"_ Gen grouched.

_"__We can just hitch a ride,"_ Wind soothed. _"__Realm?"_

_"__Yeah, I can probably take one,"_ the bobcat said.

_"__I can take whoever Realm doesn't"_ Dusk offered. _"__I'm the one who's the most used to this aside from Lore, but he's a rabbit."_

_"__I could carry Speck..."_

_"__Why would I need carrying?"_

_"__Because it would make me feel important?"_

_"__...Right..."_

_"__Midna, the Sols are still here, right?" _Dusk asked. His partner didn't respond. _"__Dangit! Shadow...?"_

Shadow let out a pained sigh. "The wolf wants to know if the Sun is still around."

_"__That's not what I said!"_

Midna narrowed her eye. "Did he mean Sols?"

Shadow shrugged. Dusk growled at him, then nodded emphatically. Midna tapped her chin in thought, then spun up into the air to survey their surroundings.

"Yeah, they're both still in their places," she reported. "So that means the main entrance is open. Good thinking."

_"__...Thanks?"_

Midna correctly interpreted Dusk's facial expression this time. "What? I'm allowed to compliment you, you know!"

_"__Well, yes, but that doesn't mean it isn't terrifying when it happens..."_

Midna shot an inquiring glance at Shadow. He ignored her solidly.

_"__Anyways, it's this way, guys,"_ Dusk said, leading the way across the pavilion and up a flight of stairs. And was stopped by a black waterfall of Twilight stuff.

_"__...Crud. I forgot about this. Uh... Shadow! How do you feel about holding a sword imbued with Light magic?"_

"Why." Shadow deadpanned.

_"__Because Midna can't balance it and you're the only other person with hands right now."_

"What'd he say?" Midna asked.

"Hand me Dusk's sword, will you?" Shadow said, ignoring the question. Midna frowned, but summoned the sword out of her magic and dropped it into Shadow's hand. He held it like it was about to explode and grimaced.

_"__...I may be asking this a little late, but how much evil have you got in you?"_ Dusk questioned. _"__Because the Master Sword tends to not like evil."_

"You don't say," Shadow growled. "I totally wasn't formed from Darkness by Ganondorf with the sole intent to murder you violently. No, I feel _just fine._"

_"__...oops. Okay, um... think about sunshine and make a swinging motion. And you should probably do it fast."_

"I hate you all," Shadow snarled. He slashed the sword through the air fast enough to create a buzzing sound, and a bright band of yellow went careening off the blade and sliced the black waterfall in half. He then chucked the sword at Midna as fast as he could. The sword vanished into a dark portal that appeared in front of Midna's body to catch the projectile. She glared at Shadow as the magic faded.

_"__Jump before it closes!"_ Dusk yelped.

It was unanimously agreed, afterwards, that Speck should indeed ride on someone when it came to long jumps. The mouse was unfortunately unable to get the proper thrust needed to both clear an obstacle more than a foot high or long.

Lore was more than happy to offer a lift.

* * *

_"__Hey, everything's the way I left it last time,__"_ Dusk commented as the group walked through the outer rooms of the main Palace. _"__Thank goodness all those puzzles stayed solved... I really don't have the hands for it right now."_

_"__Couldn't have been that bad, right?" _Ocarina asked. Dusk twitched

_"__One word. Wallmasters."_

The entire group shuddered. _"__I stand corrected..."_ Ocarina muttered.

The next few rooms were fairly simplistic. Because Dusk had already been there, all the staircases and necessary doors were already activated and/or opened. There were a few re-spawned enemies here and there, but the Links had recently discovered that most of them had a lot more teeth now. Teeth that were very pointy.

They didn't have much trouble.

There were also rooms that were full of a thick black fog material similar to that of the waterfall. Dusk explained to the group that if they were Hylian, the fog would force them into their Cursed forms regardless of whether or not they had their swords on them. This was also the reason why everyone was already an animal, so that they could simply walk straight through the fog without any problems.

The glowing, moving platforms presented a small challenge, mainly because the group was too large to all fit onto one platform at once. All this really resulted in was a generous amount of complaining and an impressive display of impatience. But according to the Links, it was torture of the highest degree.

"If you guys spend so much time on puzzles and dungeons, why are you so annoyed at having to wait for two minutes?" Midna asked.

_"__Because when we're puzzling, at least we're doing something. This is just standing. Standing is boring,_" Mask grumbled. Midna blinked. _"__Dangit! Shadow..."_

"Standing is boring," Shadow supplied, ignoring the protest about his paraphrasing. He was lounging on the floor propped up against a wall with his eyes closed. All things considered, ignoring the annoying midair squares, the Twilight Realm was actually nice. In his opinion, anyway.

At one point, a wall of Twilight spawned and dropped a few shadow beasts down in front of them. Dusk just sighed.

_"__Midna?"_ He said, throwing a glance her way so she could know what he meant. Midna nodded, then dropped onto his back with a _thump_. Dusk glared at her good-naturedly before setting his gaze on the shadow beasts.

_"__Er... what are you doing?"_ Steam asked.

_"__Just watch. I'll be done in a minute."_

* * *

One minute later...

_"__...If I ever get on his bad side, someone please kill me before he does," _Blue said vehemently. _"__I do _not _wanna die that way. _

Everyone nodded in vigorous agreement at that.

_"__Also, _nobody _tell him I said that," _he added as an afterthought.

Shadow snickered.

_"__Alright, we're good,"_ Dusk announced as he trotted back to the group. On his back, Midna yawned lazily and stretched as though that type of brutality was perfectly normal. The entire group (excepting Shadow) stared at them.

_"__...What?"_

_"__That was terrifying,"_ Speck said bluntly. Dusk blinked.

_"__Really? I kinda thought that was the normal way to deal with shadow beasts... Midna?"_

No response.

_"__Dangit! Shadow..."_

Shadow sighed deeply and snapped his fingers at Midna to get her attention. "The wolf wants to know if that was the normal way to deal with a tentacle-face."

_"__That's not what they're called!"_

"Yep. Normal as you can get," Midna replied chirpily.

_"__There, see? Normal."_

_"__Say what you want, that was _not _normal," _Sketch muttered.

Dusk just shrugged. It was how his Hyrule worked.

* * *

Eventually, the group reached an absolutely massive door with the remains of a large chain padlock lying in a disheveled heap on the ground. Dusk eyed it in a resigned fashion.

_"__Alright,"_ he said with a sigh. _"__This is it. Shadow, can you ask Midna for our weapons back? We're going to need hands for this."_

"I'm not a translator machine, you know," Shadow growled. "Ask her yourself."

_"__Okay, fine. Midna could you give us our swords please?"_

Dusk was met with a blank stare.

_"__See?"_

Shadow groaned. "The wolf wants the weapons."

A slow smirk grew in Midna's face in a way that Dusk didn't like one bit. "Coming riiight up."

The next minute, Dusk suddenly found himself buried under various sharp-tipped and pointy metal objects. Thankfully Midna had had the sense to drop them hilt-first, but still.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!" Dusk bellowed, shooting up out of the pile. He hadn't even noticed he had changed back somewhere under the pile, although all things considered he was probably so used to the sensation that he wouldn't have registered it anyways.

"Fun," Midna replied with her trademark fanged grin.

"Your definition of 'fun' is my definition of 'decapitation'," Dusk growled, strapping his Master Sword into its scabbard. Then he noticed the surrounding pack of animals who still hadn't moved.

"Grab your weapon, guys," he encouraged. "Just poke it with a paw or something."

This earned him a lot of annoyed stares.

"What? That's kinda how it works..."

* * *

"You never said we would have to relearn how to walk normally!" Steam seethed from his position on the ground.

"I didn't have to!" Dusk protested. "I was fine after I changed back the first time!"

"You're all just not trying hard enough," Lore said, waltzing by dramatically. This earned him a lot of furious glares, which he solidly ignored.

"Easy for you to say, you've done this before," Sketch griped. "I spent so long getting used to that tail that now I don't remember what to do without it!"

"Stupid flight," Gen complained to Wind, neither of whom were having much trouble standing. They were, however, still bobbing their heads when they walked. "It annoys me that I couldn't figure it out. Think Dusk will let me borrow his Curse Stone so I can get some practice in?"

"Dunno," Wind shrugged. "If he does though, and you figure it out, you're teaching me."

"**We don't have antlers anymore!**" the Four cheered.

"But you were getting really good at your coordination," Green said.

The Four shrugged. "**Yeah, but it's really nice not having to watch ourselves every time we want to look left.**"

"Good point."

"I'm not fuzzy anymore..." Red sighed dejectedly. "I liked being fuzzy. I could cuddle whenever I wanted."

"Look on the bright side Red," Blue said, slinging an arm over his brother's shoulder and making him stagger. "Now you can... oh."

"What?"

"On second thought, that's not a bright side. Forget I said anything."

Green leaned into Vio and whispered, "Now he can cuddle with us?"

Vio nodded. Green smirked. "We'll have to let Red in on that sometime. Blue deserves a good cuddle every once in a while."

Dusk took a long look at the group, most of whom were still failing to walk properly, and sighed. "Okay, let's just take five and figure out how to walk again. Plan?"

"Plan," the group chorused.

"Okay. Sketch, you're trying to balance like you've still got an extra limb. You don't. Try standing vertical instead of bending forwards."

* * *

Much more than five minutes later, everyone had once again figured out how to walk. Everything else just sort of came to them once that was accomplished, which Dusk found slightly odd. Then again, he probably wasn't one to talk about odd.

"Are we all ready _now?_" he asked.

"Yes!" the rest of the group chorused.

"Just checking. ...Here we go guys."

The door, seeming to have some strange motion-sense, opened with a loud sliding noise and a lot of glowy-ness. Dusk flashed the group an encouraging grin, then stepped through and vanished into the considerably dense darkness on the other side.

"...He's an idiot," Lore decided, but still followed him in anyways. One by one (and sometimes in groups of Four) the Links walked through the door to the fight that would inevitably happen on the other side.

* * *

"HEEeelllLLLOOooOOO!" Zant cried ecstatically. The Links stared incredulously.

"Er... are you right in the head?" Lore questioned.

"Absolutely!" Zant shrieked.

"Not!" Zant yelled.

"Sandwiches!" Zant screamed.

He then proceeded to slap himself.

"Forgive my other personalities," he suddenly said smoothly. "They are all so excited to meet you all that they forgot to take turns. They will behave now." He smiled in a manner that made everyone question his morality. "I have disciplined them."

"I can't believe it," Dusk said blankly. "You somehow got even more weird than last time."

Zant suddenly wrenched his head to a ninety-degree angle on the right. "I have _improved_ from last time." His personality suddenly made a one-eighty and he smiled brightly. "Would you all care for some cookies?"

"He's creepy," Speck hissed.

"I TOLD YOU NO COOKIES!" Zant screamed and punched himself in the stomach. He landed in an awkward crablike position on the ground and craned his neck in an impossible manner to peer up at the group.

"I trust you remember what happened last time, Hero of Twilight?"

"I beat you to a pulp."

"And it was oh, so boring," Zant continued, slowly drawing himself up to his normal height and swaying back and forth. "So this time, I have devised a different challenge for you and your faulty clones."

Lore twitched. "Faulty... clones?"

"Hide and Seek!" Zant exclaimed, suddenly happy again and spinning like a dizzy ballerina. "I shall hide and you shall seek. If you can find me, you can fight me. If not..." Zant flicked his tongue, reminding Gen forcibly of a certain demon lord, "well, I'm sure I can figure something out. Now... BEGIN!"

* * *

In a flash of red that involved a very complicated pattern, the Links found themselves inside a rounded room that appeared to be made entirely from the inside of a tree. There was a rather large and deep looking pool of water covering about half of the floor. It smelled rancid.

Zant's voice drifted through the air from somewhere. "Come and fiiiiiind meeeeee... I'm waaaaiiiiitttiiiiiinnnnggg..."

"_Farore_ that man is creepy!" Realm swore, causing everyone to glance at him in surprise. Realm was usually much more laid-back.

"Granted, he's gotten creepier since I last saw him," Dusk conceded.

Mask shrugged. "Eh, I still say Majora beats him. Easily."

Ocarina glanced at his younger-but-older self. "The more I hear about this 'Majora' the less I want to meet it."

"Too bad I'm you."

"I have future knowledge, I can probably avoid-"

"**_FIND ME!_**" Zant screeched, bringing the conversation to a halt.

"...The sooner we find him, the quicker we get this over with," Dusk decided. "I'm gonna go look over in those roots."

Everyone dispersed to various areas. A few of the Links with Hookshot variations were inspecting the ceiling areas. Speck had pulled out a jar with a star-shaped crack and vanished inside it. A few seconds later there was a miniaturized version of him poking around in the small cracks. Gen made a mental note to ask him about that later.

Mask, along with Ocarina, was staring at the pool of water contemplatively. "You think a Zora could swim in that?"

"Depends," Dusk said, walking up beside them. "I never really thought to ask them, but how do they do in poison water?"

"Well that explains the smell," Mask said. "But yeah, maybe. It _is _still water, after all."

"Don't they have absorbent skin though?" Ocarina said, frowning.

"Er..."

"I won't know until I try," Mask decided, pulling out a mask and slapping it on his face. One quick flash later and there was somewhat green-colored Zora standing in his place. "Wish me luck."

"Luck," Ocarina quipped and received an exasperated look in return. Mask then stepped forwards and carefully dipped a foot in the water. An odd look grew on his face.

"That feels weird..."

"What does?"

"It's like I can feel the toxin in the water and my body is automatically creating a defense for it."

"What would that be?"

Mask lifted his foot out of the water. "Slime layer."

Dusk made a face. Ocarina just shrugged.

"But on the bright side, this means I'm good. See you in a few."

With that, Mask dove in headfirst. There was a moment of comfortable silence, then-

"So if he dies," Dusk asked, "what happens to you?"

Ocarina stared at him. "...I'll be fine."

"Really? I thought there was some sort of paradox where the other would cease to exist or something."

Ocarina snorted. "That's if _I_ die. Mask is my _older_ self. If he dies, all that does is show me what _not_ to do in the future."

Dusk thought about that for a moment. "But then if you _don't_ die, did Mask ever die in the first place?"

Ocarina sighed. "You, my friend, have just discovered the reason we don't talk about time travel. It doesn't make any sense and somehow leaves you more confused once you understand it than when you didn't."

Mask suddenly flew out of the water as though he had been shot from Fyer's cannon. "Found him!" he shouted. "Get ready, he's coming!"

Zant exploded from the depths with a high pitched shriek and began lobbying dark purple energy shots at anyone who moved.

"ANYONE WHO HAS A BOOMERANG, THROW IT NOW!" Dusk bellowed. And Zant was abruptly clobbered by nineteen Australian weapons. (Some people had more than one.)

There was another red flash and the Links were standing on a shimmering blue platform suspended by chains in what appeared to be a volcano. Zant stood on the far end of the platform looking bemused.

"I admit, I did not quite think this location through," he said. Dusk facepalmed.

"You're literally using the exact same locations as last time, how could you not have thought them through?!"

"Where did you get the idea that I think things through?"

"You just said so!"

Zant threw his head ninety degrees to the left this time. "Shall we just forego the seeking for this one location? I seem to remember a sort of hilarity involving physics with this particular location and I admit, I am... _anxious_ to try them again." With that, he launched himself into the air with the intent of rocking the platform beneath him.

"IRON BOOTS!" Dusk screamed.

"I DON'T HAVE ANY!" most of the group yelled back in a panic.

"..._CRUD!"_

Dusk frantically equipped his Iron Boots and latched onto the closest Link, who happened to be Steam. Clinging to his hair was a Speck who was still about an inch tall.

"I think this is a good time to only weigh about three ounces!" he gasped.

Lore pulled on his Magnetic Gloves and slammed his palms onto the floor. He then extended his leg to Gen, who groaned and reluctantly wrapped his arms around Lore's foot.

Wind yanked on his Iron Boots as well and snatched the nearby Realm. Ocarina equipped his pair of Iron Boots and grabbed Mask, who was grumbling about his stupidity with throwing them away.

The Four simultaneously strapped on their pairs of Magnetic Gloves as well and partnered with Green, Red, Vio, and Blue, who were holding on to the Four's legs. Midna dissolved into Dusk's shadow, and Shadow... well, he went somewhere. But he wasn't dead, you can be assured of that.

All this happened in the span of a few seconds, and when Zant slammed down onto the magnetic surface of the platform, the Links were more or less firmly anchored and not going to fall off easily. Dusk clomped his way over to Lore and attached Steam to his other leg. Lore glared at him as the strain on his upper body doubled.

"Just stay put!" Dusk shouted. "I'll take care of Zant!"

Zant quickly cast doubt on that statement by launching a machine gun-esque attack of the dark purple projectiles he had used earlier. He then began to jump up and down violently and cackle like a madman.

"Same technique as last time too..." Dusk muttered, gritting his teeth. The instant Zant stopped jumping he charged and smacked Zant with the broad end of his Master Sword. He _had_ been aiming with the sharpened edge, but the rocking of the platform had thrown his aim off. However, it did seem to give Zant a headache.

"Very good, Hero," Zant said in a disturbingly cheerful voice. Let's see how you do in the next one!"

Another red flash deposited the Links underwater.

_'Oh, this won't end well,'_ Dusk thought. He was right. While a few of them had underwater equipment, and a couple had some extras, the majority of the Links couldn't swim. Which meant that a majority of the Links were now drowning.

Dusk switched his regular tunic out for the Zora Armor and waved frantically at Mask, who was once again an actual Zora. Mask came over in one swift movement. "Yeah?"

Dusk was momentarily caught off guard by the fact that he could talk, then remembered that was perfectly normal for Zoras.

"Take them to the surface!" He bubbled through the face mask his armor provided. Mask frowned for a moment before his brain deciphered the words within the bubbles and he nodded. Within seconds he had gathered all the Links without underwater equipment and was swimming them up as fast as he could go. Dusk then surveyed who he had left.

Ocarina was now wearing blue and was standing on the sand floor with the Iron Boots on his feet. He gave Dusk a slightly embarrassed look which was best translated as, "I don't know how to actually swim."

Lore was wearing Zora's Flippers and had shunted his Mermaid Suit off onto a somewhat irate looking Wind, who, while he was an excellent swimmer, couldn't really hold his breath for all that long without the benefit of some items. Sketch was wearing his own pair of flippers. Gen... looked perfectly normal, but there was a necklace of some sort floating above his chest. Everyone else was bobbing at the top of the water with Mask, who was keeping them afloat. It was a full time job.

Zant teleported inside one of the multiple heads in his image, but instead of randomly appearing and shooting projctiles, the heads began a shuffling motion that essentially amounted to the game of 'Which Box is the Prize In?'

The Links stared.

Eventually Ocarina shrugged, clomped over to the second head on the left, and knocked on the mouthpiece. It opened and blasted him with an energy attack instead.

"Ooh, good try," Zant's voice wafted through the water with visible ripples. "But not good enooouuuugh..."

Lore made a gesture that was best translated as, "I'm going to strangle him."

Wind chose next and went for the one in the middle. This time he was prepared for the projectile and managed to duck out of the way.

"PENALTY!" Zant shrieked. "No dodging!"

The heads rearranged themselves. Wind examined them for a second, shrugged, and knocked on the middle one again. When it opened to reveal Zant, Wind smacked him with his sword. The Usurper King was sent sprawling due to underwater physics.

"You're winning," he complained. He sounded like a spoiled child who wasn't getting what he wanted. "That's not fair! I want to win!"

There was another red flash, and all the Links who had been treading fell to the ground with a _thump_. They were in another room that looked like the inside of a tree. There was a circle of Totem Pole-looking objects, and Zant was leaping about on top of them. Dusk sighed.

"Just ram the poles."

There were only nine Totem Poles, and there were eighteen Links if they were counting Shadow. Put simply, there wasn't anywhere Zant could leap that he wouldn't get knocked down from.

He landed on his back in the dirt almost immediately.

"This one was kinda easy," Steam said.

"NO!" Zant bellowed. "THIS IS NOT EASY AND I WILL NOT LOSE!"

There was another flash of red.

"He forgot to hide that time," Wind commented as the next area materialized around them.

"I think he's losing it," Lore whispered in a conspiratorial tone.

Then the room finalized itself.

They were surrounded by ice.

"...I may not have thought this room out very well either," Zant decided. "Ah well. BE SMASHED!"

"No thanks," Speck squeaked. He was back to full size, having done that sometime in the Totem Pole room. Dusk paled.

"EVERYBODY RUN!"

Zant grew to an enormous size and began trying to step on the Links as though they were ants. And, like ants, the Links scattered.

"Who has something heavy?" Dusk yelled.

Wind, Blue, Lore, Sketch, and Realm all pulled out hammers. Dusk hoisted his Ball and Chain and grinned fiercely.

"Aim for the foot, boys."

It was unanimously agreed, afterwards, that the sight of Zant hopping on one foot while clutching the other was one of the more hilarious things they'd seen. Even better was the fact that they got to see it more than once.

"NO FAIR!" Zant pouted very, very loudly. "_I'M_ SUPPOSED TO WIN!"

Dusk eyed him warily. This was about the point, last time, when Zant had...

There was another flash of red.

The Links appeared in an open clearing surrounded by a Twilight barrier with a scale model of Hyrule Castle in the background. Zant stood in front of them, breathing heavily in fury, with two curved blades sticking out of his considerably lengthy sleeves.

"You... have ruined... my game," Zant said dangerously. "All I wanted to do... was play... and wear Peahats."

"Er... you know those things are alive, right?" Steam asked.

"And also kinda creepy?" Lore added.

"THEY ARE ADORABLE!" Zant exploded. "But now... you won't play nice. So... we're going to play a new game. It's called 'How Many Times Can The Hero Get Sliced Before He Dies Of Blood Loss?'"

"...Okay, he's starting to give Majora a run for its money," Mask decided.

"The rules are simple," Zant said, swaying back and forth as thought he could hear music. "You run... and I slice you!"

Zant launched into a flurry of motion, flashing his swords around in front of himself and advancing on the Links in the slow but steady manner that works so well in horror movies. Regardless of the fact that it gives the protagonist time to run, which they never take for some reason. ...Stupid movie protagonists. They always go into the dark basement even though common sense is _clearly_ screaming otherwise.

Ahem.

The Links all backstepped quickly to avoid being hit.

"Dusk, plan, now!" Lore demanded.

"Don't get hit, he's crazy!"

"_YOU DON'T SAY!"_

_"_Okay, um... dodge a _lot_, and at all costs, avoid him when he does-"

Zant went spinning sporadically across the clearing with his blades creating a literal whirlwind of death. The group quickly ran out of the way.

"-that," Dusk finished lamely.

"Alright, you heard the man," Lore ordered. "Break!"

The Links scattered. Zant looked at them, let out an odd war cry, and charged randomly with his swords waving in front of him. He ended up heading straight for Steam and Wind.

Wind ducked under Zant's blades and sliced an uppercut across Zant's torso. Steam spun to the left and used his momentum to get in a Spin Attack while he was at it. This seemed to make Zant angry, as he screamed something about copyright infringement and launched into his own Spin Attack, which carried him all the way to the other side of the area.

Dusk took advantage of Zant's momentary dizziness after his attack and executed a back slash, which was really only a back slash because he was standing in back of Zant. Then, since he still had time left, he threw in a few basic slices and a Spin Attack for effect.

Zant turned around and started one of his waving-sword charges again, knocking Dusk off to the side and dealing him a solid cut on the arm. The Hero of Twilight pushed himself to his feet with an annoyed expression on his face.

"Forgot how fast he is," he muttered. Gen ran by and handed him a red potion, which Dusk took gratefully.

"How many of these do you have?" he asked. Gen shrugged.

"I stocked up back when I thought I was about to fight Demise to save the world. I basically got as many as I could hold. And I've also been getting refills every chance I can."

"My forearm appreciates it," Dusk told him. "Now- ohcrudMOVE!"

Dusk tackled Gen out of the way just as Zant came whirling in from a different direction. Gen took the opportunity and stabbed Zant somewhere on the legs as he went past.

"We should move," Dusk said once Zant was gone.

"Yeah," Gen said.

Zant's momentum took him over to the Four, where he received four slashes simultaneously. Being fast learners, they were already ducking when Zant began to swing his swords wildly in the hope of a counterattack and thus were not hit. Realm then swooped in and hit Zant in the back a couple times while he was distracted. Zant went on another wild-sword-swinging rampage and was met by Blue, Vio, Green, and Red, who tag-teamed and delivered four more consecutive sword strikes all in the exact same place.

After another round of the spinning death blades, Sketch managed a stab at Zant's shoulder, while Speck slipped in unnoticed (being once again tiny) and jammed his sword through Zant's helmet and into his ear.

This was very effective.

Mask and Ocarina pulled a distraction maneuver while Zant was on another straight-lined rampage. Mask did what he was best at, and Ocarina bashed Zant in the helmet with his shield while the Twili wasn't looking.

And while Zant was dealing with the ringing of the vibrating metal, Lore moved in and hit Zant in the chest.

* * *

The Usurper King staggered. He stomped around like he was throwing a tantrum. Then he threw himself face-first on the ground and actually _did_ throw a tantrum.

"No no no NO! I'M SUPPOSED TO WIN!"

"You didn't" Lore told him, panting heavily.

Zant let out a wordless scream as he vanished. The hole he left in his place remained still for about three seconds before shooting off towards the exit of the Palace, which was coming into existence once again.

"Can we leave now?" Red asked plaintatively.

"Yeah," Dusk said. "We can leave now."

* * *

Heading back through the Mirror Portal, none of the Links cared about going one at a time. They all just squeezed though as best they could and collapsed on the floor of the Tower. They took vague notice of the hole which had now parked itself behind the Mirror, but at the moment no one particularly cared.

"...I take back _everything _I ever said about you being lame," Blue said. "You had to deal with _that_ the entire time?!"

"And Ganondorf," Dusk said absently. He was lying on his back with his eyes shut.

"Never again," Blue decided.

"Hey, I got a question for you," Gen said to Speck. "How'd you get so small?"

"I keep a Jar Portal with me," Speck replied, pulling said Jar out of his bag. "All I've gotta do is pick it up and carry it. And for some reason Ezlo seems to do magic subconsciously, who knows why. Basically, I can shrink down whenever I want."

"It seemed to work for you back there," Gen told him. "The ear thing was genius."

"Tha-"

He was interrupted by Dusk's gentle snoring.

"Oh, little wolf," Midna said. "You worked yourself to the bone."

"He's got the right idea, in my opinion," Steam said. "Anyone else?"

There was a unanimous agreement.

Shadow popped up again once all the others were asleep. Midna shot him a glance.

"Where've you been?"

"Here and there," Shadow replied in a completely unhelpful manner. "Not a Ganondorf, not my problem. And hey, they lived. So I am off the hook."

Midna snorted and proceeded to ignore him.

* * *

**Back on track. I hope I didn't make Zant too creepy, but I just kept getting ideas, and they worked really well, and it just kinda spiraled from there... I may have outdone myself on his creepy scale. **

**Anyways, what'd you guys think? I tried to be a bit unique with his battle because there was so much potential for weird. But writing this thing was exhausting. I'm still having a battle with my muse... it really loves the Naruto universe right now. Stupid muse.**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to Cakemaster7000 and Link-Eternal for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**Dark Pit Not Pittoo: She might do that. She might not. She's unpredictable like that.**

**Guest. Thanks for the tip. I fixed it.**

**Freefan1412: Well, they're accommodating for the insanity surrounding them. And thanks for the tip. I fixed it.**

**Skystar901: Yeah, I remember that one. Darned ceiling puzzles.**

**Sianna Scale: Wow. You value my story over Youtube? ...Cool.**

**PsycoFangirl: Actually, Nayru broke the wall. Din prevented it. And they're goddesses, so everything's cool.**

**SkyPirate06: Well, I'm actually doing a different angle on that. But that would be an... interesting challenge.**

**therichardater: Well, my usual update speed happens about once every three days or so. For me to take an entire week is unusual.**

**A Reader: ...What?**

**Lord of Gaming: Hey, I subscribe to that! Good guys... For Mask and Ocarina... well, wait and seeeeee...**

**miano53: That's kinda the point. Also, comic relief./Yes. Yes he does./Well, maybe, but you have to admit it was more fun that way./Well, he didn't exactly think he would fail back in the SS timeline. That's why he's doing it now./True./Their personalities didn't match wolves./Wow, thanks!**

**DarkKeybladePhantomofTime: Indeed.**


	30. Chapter 29

**(So then, I'll Curse you every once in a while, just to keep up tradition. Cool?)**

**Cool. **

**(...You forgot the disclaimer. YOU FORGOT THE DISCLAIMER!)**

**Whoops. I do not own the Legend of Zelda. But I do own Naruto. Now we can all enjoy a good anime without all the ridiculously long explanations of backstory and jutsu. **

**(Yes please! Seriously people, ****_stop talking_****. You're in a war, not a debate.)**

* * *

"I don't wanna go."

"...Well, you kinda have to. Half our leadership, and all."

"Sleepy."

"We still have to take out Ganondorf!"

"Wake me when you've done that."

"Gah... Mask? He's all yours."

"_Excellent,_" Mask said evilly. Dusk stepped back with a slight 'what-have-I-done' face. Mask rummaged through his bag for a minute, debated something, then pulled out a round, brown mask with large eyes and a somewhat dopey smile and slapped it down onto Lore's face.

There was suddenly a large Goron.

Lore shot up, promptly overbalanced, and fell flat on his face. "I admit, I may have deserved that one," his muffled voice said through the dirt.

"You gave permission. I used it."

"And I only resent you about fifty percent of the way for it," Lore said as he pushed himself to his feet and waved his arms wildly. "Okay, where is my bloody center of gravity?!"

"Somewhere down here, I think," Dusk said, poking Lore's very large stomach. Unfortunately, this only served to unbalance the Hero of Legend even more, and he abruptly fell on his back instead.

"Ooh..." Dusk winced. "Sorry."

"Apologize by helping me," Lore grunted. "I can't sit up."

"I'll do you one better."

That said, Dusk reached down and carefully removed the Goron Mask from Lore's face and handed it back to its owner. The now normal Lore, still on the ground, blinked.

"That... felt really weird. No wonder they curl up and roll everywhere."

"Try learning _how_ to curl up and roll everywhere," Mask snorted. "I spent two hours getting incredibly dizzy before I figured out there was a radar sense when I closed my eyes."

Ocarina took a note.

"Now," Dusk said as he grabbed Lore's hand and pulled up. "We still need to go and take care of my native Ganondorf. Are we all good in the resting department?"

"I'll go check," Lore said, and walked off.

"...So, how come your Ganondorf didn't show up when we fought Zant?" Ocarina asked. "I mean, Vaati and Ganon were in the same place."

Dusk shrugged. "As far as I could tell, Zant was basically Ganondorf's puppet. He didn't care much beyond that the first time, and I doubt that's changed now."

"Think you know where he is then?"

"Well, last time he was _supposed_ to be in Hyrule Castle. But then the holes happened, and... yeah. I don't think he's the type to try the same thing twice, so I don't really know where he'd be."

"Worth a shot."

Lore jogged back up. "We're all good."

"Great. For lack of a better idea, let's just head back to Castle Town," Dusk decided. "We can ask anyone if they've seen a massive redheaded madman with vaguely green skin running around."

"I shall call him Big Ginger," Lore said firmly.

"...Right. Everyone to the left!"

* * *

A minute later, the Four sprinted back to the starting point and hauled Realm out of the hole he'd fallen into when he'd gone in the wrong direction. They stuck him in the middle of their square formation, completely ignoring his flustered protests, and, with all four of the Four grabbing his sleeves, marched him off in the correct direction.

Another minute later they came back to retrieve Realm's shield, which had fallen in the hole with Realm and then fallen off of Realm.

And _then_ they marched him off in the correct direction.

* * *

"Can I borrow your Curse Rock?"

"Curse _Stone_," Dusk corrected. "And... why?"

"Because I never figured out how to fly," Gen frowned. "And it annoys me. I need practice."

"...We're in the middle of walking through my native Hyrule in search of Ganondorf-"

"Big Ginger!" Lore yelled.

"...Whatever. In search of Ganondorf to defeat him. You want to practice now, of all times?"

"Wind can catch me," Gen said.

The Link in question turned around at the sound of his name. "I can what?"

"You can catch me if I fail at flying," Gen explained.

"...You want to do that now?"

"Yes!" Gen cried, exasperated.

Dusk sighed. "If you break it, I will hurt you."

"Good thing I won't break it then," Gen said cheerfully. Dusk rolled his eyes, then pulled out the pouch from around his neck and upended the contents on Gen's head while simultaneously snatching his Master Sword.

There was abruptly a confused and extremely uncoordinated falcon.

Gen flapped wildly, then tumbled head over talons into the dirt and ended up with his tail feathers snagged on his beak in an impressive display of anatomical impossibility. He screeched something furiously.

"You asked for it, you know," Dusk said, having received the general impression of a harsh scolding and great annoyance.

"He's angry," Shadow supplied in a bored tone, having randomly spawned from nowhere in his usual fashion. It was such a common occurrence that nobody even bothered to be surprised anymore.

"I knew that already," Dusk said. Gen clacked his beak, which he had just managed to free, in agreement. Then he squawked something at Wind.

"...Throw you?" Wind clarified. Gen nodded. "Well... climb on then, I guess."

Gen carefully clambered onto Wind's lowered arm and held on as lightly as he could, since there was only a tunic between his talons and Wind's skin.

"I'm going to toss you up for some oomph," Wind warned. "One... two... three!"

The Hero of Winds launched the Gen into the air at the same time that the falcon gave himself a boost with a well-timed flap. This got him airborne quite easily.

The rest of it didn't go nearly as well.

Because Gen had just thrust his wings down, he had to bring them back up. However, he had no idea how to do this properly. The resulting motion sent him careening downwards and crash-landed him on the ground. Luckily he had only been about five feet in the air, but it still hurt. Gen screeched appropriately.

"...It kinda worked," Wind offered, getting a general sense of extreme frustration and soreness. "Maybe if you twist your wings on the upthrust so there's less surface area?"

Gen made a chirruping noise.

"He said to throw him again," Shadow said with a tiny anticipatory grin and ignoring Gen's responding squawk of, _"That's not what I said, you conniving paraphraser!"_ He was rather enjoying the show.

* * *

_I SHOULD HAVE WON I SHOULD HAVE WON I SHOULD HAVE WON I SHOULD HAVE-_

"Someone kill him," Demise snarled, hands pressed futily over his ears. "I don't care who, how, or where, just _shut him up!_"

_-SHOULD HAVE WON I SHOULD HAVE WON I SHOULD HAVE WON I-_

_We would LOVE to_, Demon Vaati hissed. _But we can't kill in here, remember?_

_-WON I SHOULD HAVE WON I SHOULD HAVE WON I SHOULD HAVE WON I SHOULD-_

_**SHUT UP ZANT!**_ Original Ganon bellowed.

_...I should have won._

_We know,_ Malladus deadpanned. _You have told us. Multiple times and very, very loudly._

_But it's true..._ Zant pouted. _He's a no good dirty cheater. Clones should be illegal._

"They aren't clones," Demise said slowly. "Who have you thought we were fighting this whole time?"

_Well, CLEARLY the Hero of Twilight had an accident with either about five sets of faulty Four Swords, an astonishingly confusing bout of time travel, or a spontaneously invented cloning machine that was also somewhat faulty._

There was a dead silence in which one could practically hear the incredulity.

_None of those clones looked like the original,_ Zant added. _You just can't get a good clone these days..._

"...Right, have his alternate personalities resolved themselves?"

_Seems like it,_ Hyrule Ganon replied.

"Well, if he's not going to slap himself anymore one of us is going to have to do it for him. Who wants it?"

Demise's head was suddenly filled with the sound of a Twili being punished with great enthusiasm.

"Thank goodness for villainous cooperation," Demise muttered, thoroughly ignoring the _thwack_ing noises in his ears. "...What in the name of obliteration is a cloning machine?"

* * *

_"__I've almost got it!"_ Gen insisted. _"Just toss me one more time!"_

"Chuck 'im," Shadow supplied. Wind just sighed and moved his arm slightly. Gen launched himself into the air with two quick successive flaps, then promptly crash-landed. He had managed to work out a proper takeoff, but not much else.

"Maybe you should take a break...?" Wind suggested quietly as he scooped up the disheveled bird. "You've been crashing like this for hours, it can't be good for your health."

Gen squawked something.

"He wants another go," Shadow said, yawning. Wind's mouth set.

"No. If he wants to maim himself, he can do it tomorrow. Can someone hand me Gen's sword, please?"

A minute later, the group discovered that Gen's clothes were just as disheveled as his feathers had been. And his hair.

"And this," Wind said, looking his friend up and down, "is why I stopped you."

"I'm fine," Gen snapped somewhat hazily. "I _will_ learn how to fly if it's the last thing I do."

"At the rate you're going, it just might be."

Up at the front of the group, Lore was annoyed. Very annoyed. For a very particular reason which was not resolving itself in any sort of timely manner whatsoever.

"WHY CAN'T WE FIND BIG GINGER?!"

Very annoyed indeed.

"His name isn't Big Ginger, it's Ganondorf," Dusk groaned. "And if I knew _why_ we couldn't find him, I would do something about it."

"You _could_ always, oh, I don't know... track him by scent," Midna suggested innocently while examining her fingernails.

"I never got his scent!"

"So all that time we spent in Hyrule Castle where Ganondorf was obviously holed up waiting for us for weeks, you _never_ got a single whiff of him?"

Dusk blinked.

"And to think you call yourself a wolf," Midna sniffed.

"I wasn't a wolf at the time," Dusk protested weakly. Midna rolled her eyes.

"I seem to recall a certain someone telling me that his animal senses were bleeding over into his human form. Maybe, _just maybe_, this someone might have, oh, say, inadvertantly absorbed the scent of his greatest enemy because his subconcious might _possibly_ have thought that to be a smart thing?"

Dusk just gaped. Now that she mentioned it...

"I'll... just be concentrating here for a bit," he said eventually, accepting his fate.

* * *

Ironically, Ganondorf's scent turned out to be red. It reminded Dusk of the desert, in a way. But a lot less sandy and a lot more... well, malicious. It was odd, thinking of a smell as evil, but it honestly smelled that way.

There was also the fact that it was _everywhere_.

Seriously, how was he supposed to pinpoint the man when there were scent trails going every which way? More than that, it was as if the air itself was saturated. Which, in Dusk's opinion, didn't make sense.

But at least, it seemed to be generally more concentrated in that one particular direction...

_"__Right, I think it's this way,"_ Dusk yipped, walking off with his nose working overtime. Luckily, the general translation that the other Links always got was easily enough for the group to understand him. Which was a good thing because Shadow had vanished somewhere again and he didn't seem very likely to show anytime soon.

And thus the Links set off on yet another long walk, on top of the one they had already been making.

It was generally agreed that it was a good thing they had all taken naps earlier.

* * *

Shadow had once again bailed on the group because he already knew where they would end up. _How_ he knew this was questionable. But since he wasn't about to tell anyone, there wasn't really anything to do about it.

As to where he was... well, that would be telling, wouldn't it?

Now, Shadow wasn't the type of person to charge into a fight headfirst without thinking. He knew when he was outmatched, and he was oh, so definitely outmatched here. The thing to do, clearly, was to have another Sit Down and Wait. While it was somewhat boring, Shadow found it infinitely preferable to tagging along with a group who had no _idea_ where they were going. Oh, they would get here eventually, he was sure of that. Somehow, one way or another, a Link always got where he was going.

Sometimes, it just took a little longer.

Or, in this case, a _lot_ longer.

* * *

**...Hello.**

**Yes, I'm late. I know. But let me explain.**

**Due to some unforseen circumstances that I **_**really**_** should have seen coming, I am hereby changing my update schedule. New chapters will be coming out probably once a week. This is the reason I was late, and will continue to be the reason I will be updating at a slower speed. **

**I really am sorry about this... but this is me compromising with the rest of my life which is demanding a good lot of my attention. And for good reason, obviously. It's my **_**life. **_**I happen to be living it, you know.**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to melainemel, scriptdragonslayer, EponaTheInsaneLoftwing, LucerneFlower, Thrilling Sentience, I am One with the Wind and Sky, and Moonlight Raven for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**PsycoFangirl: Actually, forego is a perfectly English word. I may have misspelled it though.**

**SkyPirate0614: I can certainly try.**

**Freefan1412: Yeah, just thought I'd throw that bit in.**

**Okami no Fude: Oh, I read that. And the Dominon Rod is an interesting idea./Thanks!**

**Dark Pit Not Pittoo: We need rope.**

**Sianna Scale: Good.**

**A Reader: It usually just happens because I think it's fun.**

**DarkKeybladePhantomofTime: Excellent.**

**Guest#1: Wait and seeeeee...**

**EponaThe InsaneLoftwing: Well, it popped into my head and it seemed to fit well. Both he and badgers strike me as cranky.**

**Lord of Gaming: see SkyPirate0614's answer**

**Guest#2: Thanks!**

**Skystar901: ...That's unfortunate.**

**therichardater: see A Reader's answer. **


	31. Chapter 30

**OKAY PEOPLE! Because, no matter how many times I seem to answer this question there always seems to be another curious person, I will now make this clear in plain English. I will not, repeat, WILL NOT be adding Hyrule Warriors OR Zelda Wii U. Zelda Wii U, because we know nothing about it, and by the time it actually comes out this fic will probably be done. Also, I don't have the proper console. Hyrule Warriors because that particular Link is WAAAY O.P., and so are all his villains. That just seemed to be a bit too much overkill to me. And because Nintendo themselves have stated that Hyrule Warriors is NOT canon to the Timeline.**

**Now please, please, PLEASE stop asking!**

**Oh, and- Disclaimer. Gotta mention it somewhere, right?**

* * *

"Well, it's _about time_," Shadow grumped as the rest of the group straggled in. "Do you have any idea how long I've been sitting here?"

"About as long as we've spent walking here," Lore snapped crankily. "Dusk, _why_ is your Hyrule so bloody big?!"

_"__How should I know?"_ Dusk whuffed, giving Midna his 'give me my sword' look. She promptly dropped it on his head. And snickered.

"You live here don't you?" Lore continued

"Obviously."

"So you should know!"

"That makes no sense," Dusk sighed. "I'm a _goatherd._ Which means, _I herd goats_. Or at least I used to. I know nothing about why my Hyrule is so big. But if you really want to know, I can probably ask Zelda..."

"I think I'll just stay ignorant and keep complaining, thanks. And- hey wait a minute, what do you mean 'sitting here'?!"

"I've been sitting here waiting for you people," Shadow explained disinterestedly. "You people take _forever._"

"...You _knew_ where we were going?" Lore asked dangerously.

"It was obvious."

"THEN WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?!"

"Because it was obvious," Shadow repeated, sounding as if he was explaining why the ocean was wet to a toddler. "I _thought_ you couldn't possibly miss the signs, but apparently I was wrong. Exactly how high is your I.Q. supposed to be?"

Lore let out a strangled shriek and made some impotent twitching motions, but appeared to have been rendered immobile by rage. Shadow, thoroughly ignoring this, got to his feet and casually dusted himself off, then stretched. "Now that you're here though, what's the plan?"

"...Plan?" Realm asked.

"Well, wolf-boy over there led you all here, right?" Shadow said, spreading his arms to indicate the very large and very empty Hyrule Field. "And he was tracking Ganondorf, right?"

The group nodded with growing realization

"So then it stands to reason," Shadow continued, "that this is where he is. Or am I wrong?"

"You speak as though you are familiar with my habits, little demon," a voice boomed from the air. It was a very intimidating sounding voice, deep and rumbling, but it also sounded rather annoyed. "I don't remember telling my plans to you, did Zant blab again?"

"I am _not_ telling you _anything_," Shadow spat with a shocking amount of venom in his voice. While this particular Ganondorf wasn't one of the ones who had used him, he was still very, very close. And besides, he'd never gotten to give Ganon, aka Mr. Teal Pig, a piece of his mind back in Realm's Hyrule. This was an excellent opportunity to deal out some unused wrath.

"My my, this one has a temper," Ganondorf mused. "You certainly pick some interesting travel companions, Hero of Twilight."

"I don't actually remember how I got into this, strangely," Dusk said.

"And you appear to have already beaten Zant. I must thank you; he was an idiot."

"A dangerous idiot," Steam muttered.

"I did not like him much," Ganondorf observed. "Even before all of this happened, I considered him not much better than a Cucoo. Possibly even less so."

"Ouch..." Sketch winced.

Mask, on the other hand, made a mental note in his List Of Insults. Being less evil than a Cucoo, which was evil incarnate... major put-down in terms of villainous status. Maybe he could use that on Majora...

"Er... not to be rude or anything, but what does this have to do with us?" Gen asked.

"Not much," Ganondorf admitted, "but enough. _Technically_, as my subordinate, I am responsible for Zant. And you have just smacked him back into Demise."

"So that's where they've been going..." Vio muttered.

"And while I greatly appreciate that," Ganondorf continued, "it does appear to be posing a bit of a problem. Specifically, that you are one step closer to stopping us."

As he said this, the Gerudo King was slowly materializing in front of the group in a slow and threatening sort of way. He was at least two feet taller than the Links and was thus forcing the Heroes to crane their necks awkwardly to look at him.

"So I have come to the conclusion," Ganondorf finished, "that I will be needing to stop _you _first."

"...Really now, that could have been said so much better," Lore lamented with a head shake. "That was hardly threatening at all. Why were we nervous about this guy?"

"He's the one who gave Zant his power," Midna supplied dryly. "And, might I add, it was a _fraction_ of his power. We get to face all of that at once now."

Lore considered that for a moment.

"...Okay, points for that," he decided. "So Big Ginger's now about thirty percent more threatening."

"_What_ did you just call me?"

"Big Ginger," Lore said nonchalantly before getting tackled by Wind and Speck, both of which shoved their hands over his mouth.

_"__Stop talking!"_ Wind hissed.

"Big... Ginger...?" Ganondorf repeated slowly, and with an increasingly furious expression growing on his face. "This... is your name for me?"

"Not just you," Blue said, head bent at an almost impossible angle in an attempt to see Ganondorf's face. "There's also Mr. Pudgy Bat, Mr. Blue Pig, Mr. Teal Pig..."

"Did we ever make one for Zant?" Steam asked with a frown.

"...Now that you mention it, I don't think we did," Mask replied, now paying absolutely no attention to the angry villain in front of them. "How about Freaky Puppet?"

"Not funny enough," Blue decided. "Maybe we can call him Fishy?"

Steam snorted. Mask cracked a smile, but then asked, "Why Fishy?"

"He had that helmet that looked like a fish, remember?" Blue said, shrugging. "Plus he had those _weird_ eyes... did he ever blink?"

"Not that I remember-"

"I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF THREATENING YOU!" Ganondorf roared, and shot a rapid-fire spray of energy spheres. The group scattered, then discovered that the orbs had homing capabilities.

The next few seconds were filled with a good amount of running and screaming.

* * *

"Realm, get out there and be bait!" Lore ordered in between gasps.

"Why me?!"

"Because your stamina is ridiculous and you're the least likely one of us to get hit by something because of your directional unpredictability. Now _move!_"

Realm sputtered, then gave up and shot out from behind the cliff that the Links were hiding behind and ran for his life. Many explosions happened.

"Right, now that Big Ginger's busy... DUSK WHAT DO WE DO!"

"Don't ask me, I never fought him before!"

"But he's your native villain!" Gen protested. "You've got to have _some_ idea!"

"He doesn't act like any of the people we've face before," Vio observed, poking his head around the side of the cliff. "He has just transformed himself into a massively gigantic pig and is doing an excellent impersonation of an angry bull."

The Four _eep_ed and turned pale, which looked somewhat odd considering they all did it simultaneously.

"That's not so bad, all things considered," Green said. "Both of the Ganons we've fought looked like giant pigs."

"Well yes, but he is _literally_ a giant pig," Vio explained to his leader. "On four legs and everything."

"...Ah."

"Maybe we can treat him like we would a wild animal?" Sketch suggested.

"Give him multiple targets, then hit while he's distracted," Vio mused. "That could work... but only if he's actually got the mind of the pig he looks like."

"HE DOESN'T!" Realm screamed as he sprinted past, with about fifteen seeker spheres and a giant boar hot on his heels. The Links all winced.

"...How about we rescue Realm now and figure out a better plan later," Gen said flatly.

"Meet up back here in in five with observations, plans, and all your limbs intact," Lore added. He received several 'well duh' looks in response, which he thoroughly ignored.

"Break!"

* * *

More or less five minutes later...

Ganondorf, currently a pig, had been tricked into charging a patch of trees and was, for the moment, hopelessly entangled by his tusks. The Links were taking the brief opportunity to finish the strategy meeting Lore had called earlier, now armed with experience from the past few minutes.

"Do NOT aim for his tail," Blue gasped with a look of utter terror on his face. Lore nodded sagely.

"Good to know, good to know. Anyone else?"

"More than one person needs to be the distraction," Realm said. "It's really hard to avoid him when I'm the only target."

"I can help with that," Gen volunteered.

"He's using his human and boar forms like compliments to each other," Vio contributed, "depending on what he wants to do and how much damage he wants to cause while doing it. We can probably match him pretty well as a human since there's so many of us, but his animal form could be a problem."

"How's that?" Mask questioned.

"Of the two people who are experienced in being an animal, one of them is a rabbit," Vio said dryly. "Now I could be wrong, but I don't think rabbits are very good in combat situations."

Lore twitched.

"Which leaves me," Dusk sighed. "...I think I can handle him, at least with Midna."

"You'd darn well better be taking me," Midna agreed. "You need someone to hold the big pig still."

"Big Ginger," Mask corrected.

"Hmm... nope, don't care," Midna said cheerfully.

Suddenly, Shadow spoke up, which was unusual in that he normally either didn't care, or just plain wasn't around. "His weakness is his chest area."

The group blinked. Shadow facepalmed.

"Okay, see the shiny white scar? He's been injured there before. That's his weak point."

"That makes things a whole lot easier," Dusk said. "Thanks, Shadow."

"Don't get used to it," Shadow growled. However, Dusk had learned enough about Shadow's personality by now to just brush off his reaction as the usual crankiness.

"I'm a lot smaller than Ganondorf, so I'll actually be in a prime position to hit that point," Dusk continued, now thinking out loud. "Perfect height for a wolf..."

"So we have a sort-of plan, then?" Speck asked.

"Close enough," Ocarina said, shrugging.

Dusk pulled out his Curse Stone and transformed, handing off his sword to Midna as he did so. The imp then dropped onto his back with a thump, causing Dusk to shoot her a glare. Shadow sidled up beside the pair with a bored expression, which was counteracted by the fact that his own sword was unsheathed.

"Can't let you have all the fun," he said in answer to Dusk's questioning glance.

Gen pulled out some bottles full of green liquid and handed one to Realm. "Stamina potion," he explained. "Lets you run faster for longer."

"Good idea," Realm agreed.

Everyone else just drew their respective swords, although Speck shrank down first. He seemed to really be taking to the fighting-while-tiny style.

"Alright everyone," Lore said, smirking. "Let's do this. Oh, and please, try not to die."

_"__And to think I made you half-leader,"_ Dusk groaned. Shadow snickered.

And then everyone charged.

* * *

Right off the bat, the Links all acknowledged what an incredibly stupid plan that was.

If you've ever seen a bullfight, in which a suicidal person either decides to ride said bull or taunt it with a flappy red cape, you can probably visualize what happened next without much trouble. Realm and Gen, who were supposed to be doing the distracting, ran screaming for their lives as Ganondorf rampaged behind them and generally aimed to kill. Shadow, in blatant disregard of his life, vaulted onto the top of Ganondorf's back and alternated between hanging on with both hands and stabbing his mount in the shoulder-blades while cackling like a madman.

Dusk and Midna were trying to get in between the fleeing distraction Links and Ganondorf so that they could get a good shot at his weak point. Unfortunately Ganondorf had the approximate momentum of a locomotive and thus nearly trampled them. Midna, naturally, didn't take to this too well and sent Dusk racing after the giant boar while she grabbed chunks of the surrounding landscape in her hair and lobbed them at her prey.

Shadow got hit with her projectiles a few times, but being made of darkness it didn't affect him much.

Speck was nowhere to be seen, which wasn't all that concerning since he was currently two inches tall and thus unnoticeable anyways. For the interested, he was actually clinging to the strap of Ocarina's bag, but due to the surrounding chaos nobody noticed.

Everybody else was pursuing Ganondorf at various speeds and distances.

Of course, all this went completely south when Ganondorf abruptly transformed into a human and started lobbying magic balls at them.

Shadow went flying off and landed in a tangled heap on top of the Four. Midna's latest rock projectile went wide and knocked Mask over instead, who fell into Ocarina and sent the diminutive Speck tumbling. Dusk made a frantic stop and just barely missed being slammed by Ganondorf's attack, and everyone else just stopped and gaped.

"DON'T JUST STAND THERE, HIT HIM!" Shadow roared, picking himself up and sprinting off. The Four recovered much more slowly.

"**Did anyone get the description of that horse?**" they asked hazily.

Gen dropped a health potion into their hands as he ran past and assumed they would know what to do with it. Then he joined Shadow, who was having a furious swordfight with Ganondorf, and attempted to hack at the villain's neck.

It didn't work.

* * *

Mask shoved the dirt off of himself, then got shoved off of Ocarina, who was squished underneath him. "That one hurt," his older-but-younger self decided, wincing.

"Couldn't control where I was landing, sorry," Mask apologized. Then he squinted. "Er... I think Speck is climbing your pants?"

"What?" Ocarina peered down at his knees, where, sure enough, Speck was determinedly hiking himself up over the fabric. "When'd you get there?"

"Been here," Speck grunted. "Little help?"

"Oh, sorry." Ocarina leaned over and offered his palm to his friend, who dropped onto it with a relieved sigh.

"Can I ask why you were climbing him?" Mask questioned.

"I wanted to ask a favor," Speck said from Ocarina's palm. "I need you to shoot me-"

"What?!"

"-at Ganondorf," Speck finished.

"...Oh."

"Why?" Ocarina asked.

"I can't climb him if he keeps shapeshifting like that. I thought, maybe one of you could shoot an arrow and I could ride it?"

Ocarina nodded. "Makes sense. Just hold on tight, yeah?"

"Why on earth would I let go?"

Ocarina knelt down and carefully placed Speck on the ground, then reached around and pulled out one of his arrows and offered the tip to his friend. Speck carefully climbed around the pointy bit and held on with all four of his limbs, then flashed an "I'm ready" grin.

After ducking an errant magic sphere, Ocarina knocked, aimed, and shot in one fast motion, sending Speck straight onto the fabric of Ganondorf's shirt.

The arrow didn't seem to do much though.

"DO SOMETHING USEFUL!" Lore hollered from somewhere.

"WE WERE!" Mask yelled back. On Ganondorf's shirt, Speck rolled his eyes and started climbing. By his calculations, he had about two more feet to go.

In Picori measurements, that meant about fifty feet.

Joy.

* * *

On the normal-sized scale, Ganondorf was proving exactly how good of an opponent he was. Aside from spamming magic projectiles twice a second, he was also dueling a swordfight with the hand that wasn't shooting.

He was also winning.

"This is unfair on _so_ many levels!" Steam yelled crankily as he tried and failed to stab Ganondorf in the stomach.

"That would be the point, small one," Ganondorf told him. And shot him point blank with a magic sphere.

Wind ducked as Steam went flying over his head and winced. Hopefully it wouldn't turn out to be anything Gen's potions couldn't fix, but right now he couldn't afford to go and check. For some reason Sketch had persuaded him to act as a visual blocker while the former used his painting abilities to launch a stealth attack.

Wind just hoped they wouldn't get smacked too badly in the process.

At Sketch's signal (winking), Wind leaped at Ganondorf's back and launched into a Spin Attack, Sketch following immediately behind with his own attack. And it actually worked. With Wind in the lead, he was able to intercept Ganondorf's counterattack. This left him wide open when Sketch feinted around Wind and made a side-slash at the villain's side.

On one hand, the connected attack could be seen as a good thing.

On the other hand, the one that was most immediately obvious, it was a very, very _bad_ thing.

Ganondorf exploded into his giant boar form and sent at least three of the Links flying, while the rest scattered in a panic. Speck, who had managed to climb the head before the villains transformed, held onto the scruff for dear life. At least, in this form, the ears were a lot more sensitive...

Dusk, who had been a wolf all this time, hijacked Shadow so he could explain a plan to Midna. As it required a lot more effort from her than it did from him, he figured he should at least get her opinion on it first.

"...And that's what he wants to do," Shadow summarized, annoyed. "Now can I please go back to pummeling this guy?"

"Hmm... sounds interesting," Midna decided. "Aren't you lucky you have me around?"

_"__You never let me forget it."_

"I'm sure whatever you just said was riveting and all," Midna said, "but we have a plan to implement?"

"You're both going to die," Shadow decided. Then he grinned fiercely. "Mind if I help?"

_"__Absolutely not!"_ Dusk yelped. Shadow facepalmed.

"I meant with the plan, stupid. If I kill you, I kill me too. You think I want that?"

_"__...Uh... no?"_

"Exactly. So, helping?"

"Be my guest," Midna interrupted, kicking Dusk in the sides and taking off, and Dusk suddenly found himself to be the target of a rampaging boar

He was starting to reconsider the plan.

Then Midna went to work. Her hair shot out and _slammed_ into Ganondorf's head, gripping his shoulders and forcibly stopping him in his tracks. The momentum travelled back up her magical appendage and nearly knocked her off of Dusk's back. She gritted her teeth in determination and a good bit of anger, and pushed back with all the strength she could muster. Underneath her, Dusk was bracing himself for all he was worth in a desperate attempt to stay standing and not buckle under the force.

Midna began wrenching her hair-hand around, dragging Ganondorf around until she had enough _oomph_ behind her swing that she flipped the boar onto his side with a ground-shaking _crash_.

"Hit 'im hard, boys," she said, panting, but with a _very _self-satisfied smirk on her face.

Dusk darted in and, for lack of hands, slashed his claws over the silvery scar mark, then latched on with his teeth and began biting repeatedly, snarling all the while. The actual translation of said snarls was... better left unsaid. Up top, Midna formed a sort-of spear out of her hair and alternated between holding Ganondorf down and getting in a few stabs as well.

Shadow positioned himself to Dusk's right, keeping himself well out of the way, and stabbed his sword as far into the scar as it would go. Then, being who he was and wanting the revenge he did, he started twisting the blade, slowly and evenly.

Even Speck, still up on Ganondorf's head somewhere, got into the action, taking the momentary stillness to place a well-aimed strike directly into Ganondorf's inner ear.

Taking all of this into account, Ganondorf's reaction was natural.

* * *

"YOU JUST _HAD_ TO ANTAGONIZE HIM!" Gen bellowed as he ran for his life.

"Eh, worth it," Shadow answered in a somewhat bored tone. Considering the fact that he was in a full-out sprint with an angry pig of death on his heels, this was quite an accomplishment.

"**We hate you so much right now!**" The Four screamed at him.

* * *

"...You know, they certainly get into a lot of fights nowadays," Farore observed as she watched the Links scramble. Down below, Ganondorf suddenly switched into his human form and, bellowing pain-filled curses, began spamming magic projectiles shaped like swords in every conceivable direction.

"That they do," Din agreed, unconcerned. "They _are_ quite good at it, though."

"Kettle corn?" Nayru offered, holding out the bag. Her sisters both eagerly helped themselves to a serving and sat back to watch the show.

* * *

"SUFFER IN THE DEPTHS OF THE PIT!" Ganondorf roared in absolute fury, one hand held protectively over his ear and the other aimed at anything that moved. The look on his face very clearly promised death to anyone who got within range.

"So," Wind panted, watching Ganondorf with trepidation from a _very_ safe distance along with the rest of the Links. "How's the plan working out?"

_"__The only thing I think it did was make him mad," _Dusk growled softly.

"I dunno, whoever got his ear seems to have done some damage," Blue observed.

"Oh, that was probably Speck," Ocarina supplied. "I gave him a ride on one of my arrows. Pretty sure he landed somewhere near the neck."

"Well, good for the little guy," Lore said, looking impressed. "Glad he can hold his own. How'd aiming for the scar work out?"

"Excellently," Shadow said, with a vicious grin on his face.

"_Aside_ from his ridiculous scheme for revenge," Midna interrupted, "I'm not actually sure how much it did. Scar tissue is often stronger than the original stuff because of how thick it healed over. If we want to hurt him there, we're gonna have to hit him lots and hit him _hard_."

Vio frowned. "Maybe this isn't the best- DUCK!"

Everyone hit the ground as a projectile went screaming over their heads.

"-best plan," Vio finished, standing up and dusting himself off. "There's got to be a less vulnerable spot somewhere, we just have to find it."

"But we know he's already been injured there," Lore argued. "It happened once, it can happen again. Plus, we've already got a start on it."

"...He's got a point," Gen said.

_"__I'm up for another round,"_ Dusk agreed. _"__Shadow, are you- hold on, where'd he go?"_

Everyone blinked, as the general translation that the Links usually got came through loud and clear, and looked around in confusion.

"...Found him," Green said in a resigned tone. "I think we lost him somewhere around 'already been injured there'.

Shadow was in fact going toe to toe with Ganondorf, somehow managing to both avoid the sword-projectiles and parry all of his opponent's blows. Landing his own blow was another story, though it was still impressive considering he was holding his own.

"Was waiting for the rest of us not an option?" Gen snarked as he jumped into the fight.

"I just made the decision that the rest of you were getting to," Shadow answered distractedly, flashing his sword every which way in complicated blocking maneuvers. "Want to pitch in and be useful?"

"Go ahead and try," Ganondorf sneered at them.

"Ooh, is that a challenge?" Lore chirped. "Why, I would _love _to! I didn't know you cared, Big Ginger. You should have asked sooner."

"You will die, very, _very_, _PAINFULLY_," Ganondorf promised.

"Oh that's what they all say, you big charmer you."

At that, Ganondorf let out a furious bellow and, ignoring everyone else, charged Lore as though he was in his pig form. Lore, being who he was, pulled out every cape he had and started swinging them around like a maniac, shouting random words in another language and taunting at his most tauntiest.

"Say what you want about that guy, he _really_ knows how to get under someone's skin," Sketch said, staring. Perfectly punctuating his statement, Ganondorf exploded into his animal form and charged with even more rage than before. Lore responded by flaunting his cape collection flamboyantly and yelling a rapid-fire string of words which, although completely unintelligible, sounded like a personalized insult.

"...Anyone know what he's saying?" Red asked.

"Not a clue," Realm replied.

"Probably something he picked up in Holodrum," Vio said. "Or maybe Labrynna. He did say he spent most of his journeys outside of Hyrule, and he already talks with an accent. Kinda makes sense that he'd go and become bilingual while he was at it."

At that moment, Ganondorf charged yet again. Unfortunately for him, Lore was well prepared for that. He flipped the capes in a complicated twirling motion designed to fool the eye, and Ganondorf, having poorer eyesight as a pig, fell for it. In trying to follow the motion of the fabric, he overextended himself and slammed into the ground with trembling force, knocking his breath out and rendering him temporarily helpless.

"And that," Lore announced, twirling the capes and stowing them away in one quick movement, "is how you do it." He glanced at the rest of the Links, who were understandably gaping. "What are you waiting for? Hit him while he's down!"

The Links charged, determined and swords drawn.

The next few minutes were rather dirty in a reddish sort of way, and don't really need to be described in any sort of vivid detail.

* * *

"Was the mortal draw really necessary?"

"It's not like it worked," Dusk protested, having transformed back to a Hylian. "The point of the mortal draw is that it's _supposed_ to be fatal. Does he look dead to you?"

Mask turned and eyed the somehow-even-more-furious Ganondorf, currently on a violent rampage against anything that happened to be in his way and smashing said obstacles into little tiny pieces with his tusks and momentum.

"Not really."

"Exactly. I just thought it was the best move I had for doing damage."

"To you or to him?" Gen grumbled, wrapping a torn piece of cloth around Dusk's side. "And when did I become the group medic?"

"Probably when you started toting around twenty health potions at a time," Dusk told him.

"Speaking of which, drink this," Gen said, snatching a potion-filled bottle from his bag and shoving it into Dusk's hands. "And don't do that again, I've only got so many bottles."

"Whatever you say."

"On the bright side," Midna said, perching herself on her partner's shoulder, "we did some pretty good damage that time. It probably won't be much longer, not with all of us working together the way we are."

"Hang on," Mask frowned. "Isn't Speck still on Ganondorf's head somewhere?"

* * *

Interestingly, Speck was actually clinging to his sword for dear life. His blade happened to be embedded in Ganondorf's other ear, which was actually the driving force behind the current rampage as it had gotten stuck. Between the frantic running that the villain was doing, the agonized bellows and the pained tossing of the head, it was all Speck could do to not be thrown off.

Actually removing the sword himself was out of the question at the moment.

Although, if Ganondorf kept running the way he was, it would probably fall out sooner or later.

Speck just hoped it would be sooner. He wasn't sure how much longer he could hang on and still keep his lunch down.

* * *

"**He should not be this hard to catch!**" The Four yelled, sprinting after the boar.

"We'll try and cut him off!" Green yelled, then signaled to his three counterparts who nodded and took off in different directions. Red, who was the most brightly colored, (and also the quickest of the four of them) was responsible for leading Ganondorf, while Vio and Blue came up on either side to (hopefully) prevent their target from veering off. Green came up behind to provide extra running incentive in case the villain ran out. Together the four of them steered Ganondorf in the Four's general direction, trusting their counterparts to fulfill their part of the plan.

As Ganondorf shot by, the Four started in on their part. It wasn't very complicated, all things considered. After a few milliseconds of internal conversation and debate, the Four had decided that sitcking their swords out and letting momentum do the rest was probably the easiest plan.

So they did.

And then they ran, because Ganondorf responded to the pain of being cut by lashing out with his rear hooves and launching himself into a frenzied bout of bucking and rearing.

Speck, of course, couldn't be expected to hold on through that, but luckily his sword came loose before his hands did. Even more lucky was where he landed, which conveniently happened to be right on top of Red's foot.

"Oh there you are," Red said brightly, more or less ignoring the boss battle going on in the background. "We thought you were on Ganondorf's head. Did you get any good hits in?"

"A couple," Speck said faintly. "I am... _really_ dizzy right now. Which way is up?"

"How about I give you a ride for a couple minutes," Red decided, scooping his small friend up and setting him carefully on his shoulder.

"**Oh, you found Speck,**" The Four noticed as they trotted up. "**Where's he been?**"

"Ganondorf's head," Red answered. The Four winced.

"**Oh... whoops. Sorry if the ride got a bit rough, that was probably our fault.**"

"No big deal," Speck said hazily. "It was a rough ride _long_ before you came in." He blinked for a moment, trying to clear his vision. "Has anyone seen my jar?"

"The one with the crack in it?" Red frowned. "Not since we started fighting Ganondorf, but then again we've been doing a _lot_ of running. Where'd you leave it?"

"Uh..."

"Well, that's okay," Red said. "I think we started fighting over there somewhere..."

With that, the boys wandered off, somehow managing to completely miss the fact that there was still a rather large fight going on.

* * *

Ganondorf had calmed down enough to change back into his human form and was currently trading blows with five different Links. The rest of the group, seeing as there wasn't any more room around the actual man, had settled for long-distance projectiles.

There had never been so much spamming of the arrows.

"Why-won't-you-fall?!" Steam fumed.

"I am far too powerful to be defeated by the likes of _you_," Ganondorf retorted smugly, ignoring the injuries he had sustained from the previous attacks. Shadow of course, didn't take that very well and doubled his efforts in the swordfight.

"Question for ya, Big Ginger," Lore said between arrows. "D'you think that tunic makes you look fat?"

Ganondorf smiled thinly. "A valiant effort, boy. But I am no longer so easily baited."

Lore frowned, but in a way that made you immediately suspect that he was up to something. "Now that's just too bad... I guess if names won't work I'll just be forced to call you by your name. Ganondork it is."

The Gerudo King froze for a split second and got knocked in the head for his trouble. "...**_WHAT?!_**"

"Ganondork," Lore said, not missing a beat. "That is your name, right?"

"**_I WILL MURDER YOU WHERE YOU STAND!_**"

"Well _that's_ not a very nice thing to say to someone," Lore scolded. Then he yelped and dove out of the way as Ganondorf tried to run him through with his sword. But in doing so, he left himself wide open for a counterattack.

Which of course, the Links were happy to provide.

Dusk shot in underneath Ganondorf's arm and stabbed his sword straight into the scar on the Gerudo King's chest. At the same time, Shadow, who wasn't about to be left behind, swooped in from the other side and planted his weapon right next to Dusk's.

Ganondorf jerked backwards in surprise, swords poking from his body, and promptly got hit by a swarm of arrows, all of which were impeccably aimed and embedded themselves in whatever parts of the scar weren't already pierced. Regardless of how thick that scar tissue may have been, there was no way it could stand up to that much abuse.

Ganondorf staggered. He came down heavily on one knee and braced himself on his sword, glaring at the Links.

"As much as I hate you... I know when I am beaten. Most of you... fought well. Others... are masters of the deceptive arts and have no honor in battle whatsoever."

"Thank you, thank you very much," Lore said, bowing extravagantly. Ganondorf fixed him with a baleful stare.

"You had better hope that none of my fellow villains catch onto your tricks, boy. But I am sure you will forgive me if I very much hope that they do."

Lore shrugged, not sure how to respond to that.

Ganondorf then turned his stare on all the Links, making sure to find every one of them individually. And then he started to laugh. It was quite unnerving, in a way that Zant had never been during the time they had fought him.

He was still chuckling when he dissolved into the hole that the Links were familiar with.

* * *

"...Well that was... different," Ocarina decided.

Dusk scooped up his sword from where it had landed after Ganondorf had vanished. "I can't believe I would have had to face that _alone_."

Shadow snorted, then leaned down and picked up his own sword. "You're just a wimp. That wasn't bad at all."

"What would be your definition of bad then?" Ocarina wanted to know. Shadow threw him a deadpan stare.

"Wouldn't you like to know."

Gen started pulling out bottles of different colors and sizes from his bag and handing them out to people. He seemed to have accepted his unspoken role of medic and was taking to it rather well. Then he paused.

"Where's Speck?"

"The Four aren't around either," Wind realized. "And neither is Red."

"Red went that way," Green said, pointing. "I think he was looking for a jar?"

"Okay, when and where did you find time to even acknowledge that?" Blue said, staring at his leader. "We were in the middle of a fight for our lives!"

"It's my job to know where you guys get off to," Green told him. "What kind of leader would I be if I didn't make sure you were safe?"

"...That answers nothing."

"Why a jar though?" Sketch wondered.

"It's my portable Portal," Speck answered, walking up behind the group full sized and still somewhat dizzy. Gen took one look and promptly handed him a green potion. The energizing effects helped tremendously and Speck instantly became a lot more lucid. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it," Gen said, taking back the now empty bottle. "You get any good hits in?"

"Stabbed his ears a couple times," Speck replied. "Not sure if it helped, but it sure seemed to make him mad."

"**We'll say...**" The Four muttered. They had arrived just after Speck did, along with Red.

"He had his hand over his ear at that one bit, remember?"

Suddenly, there was a bright sparkly flash and a very irate native Princess Zelda materialized in front of the group.

"Exactly _what_ has been going on?"

"Hello Princess," Midna said brightly, waving. Dusk turned vaguely red and muttered something probably awkward.

"I've been getting absolutely swamped with reports of a massive fight going on outside the Town," Zelda continued, tactfully ignoring Dusk's predicament. "Now, I know this was your job, Link, and you've been doing great, don't get me wrong. But really? Right outside a civilian populace? Do you have _any _idea of how much panic there's been?"

"Yeeaah, well... he kinda went on a rampage," Dusk explained. Zelda just shook her head.

"And you haven't even _begun_ explaining to me who all these people are. Who _are_ all these people?"

"See now, that's a bit complicated," Lore said. "It started with a hole and it all just went downhill from there."

Zelda blinked, looking thoughtful. "I do remember there being a hole in my throne room when you left, Link... is that what you've been doing all this time?"

"Which one of us is she talking to?" Steam whispered.

"Dusk, I think," Sketch whispered back. "That's who she's looking at."

"Who's Dusk?" Zelda asked pointedly. The boys flinched.

"That's it," Lore declared. "You're all getting lessons on the proper volume of a whisper. This is getting ridiculous!"

"Is there something you'd like to explain to me?" Zelda demanded.

"I... uh..."

"Oh for crying out loud," Midna muttered. "He's them, they're him, and they gave each other nicknames to differentiate between themselves. They're all Link, by the way, in case that wasn't obvious."

Zelda took Midna's explanation silently, seeming to puzzle over something. Her mouth was moving soundlessly as she worked things out in her head. Then-

"So the holes are actually rifts in the time-space fabric, causing a temporal disruption that created a resonance chain thereby throwing all the Heroes that have ever existed or ever will exist together and somehow connecting itself throughout Hyrule's entire history. It wouldn't surprise me a bit if the goddesses were involved in bringing you together somehow..." She trailed off muttering vague theories about spatial relation and other unintelligible words strung together.

Mask and Ocarina stared at her with mixed expressions of awe, adoration, and shock.

"Finally, _someone_ understands time travel!" Ocarina cried ecstatically.

"Where have you been all our life?" Mask complained. "We've been trying to explain the logic of time travel to ourselves for weeks, and you can see how well _that's_ been going."

"Well by all means, don't let me stop you," Zelda said, suddenly much more cheerful and at ease with the situation. "Clearly you Links have an important job to do if you've got to fix both time and space."

"Tell me about it," Realm agreed.

"I'll head back and do some damage control in Town," Zelda decided. She gave the surrounding landscape a baleful stare and continued, "And I should probably have the Castle Guard do some _actual_ damage control out here, this place is a mess!" With that, the Princess vanished in another flash of bright sparkles.

* * *

"I think I understood about half the words that came out of her mouth," Blue said as the group slowly straggled towards the hole Ganondorf had left.

"She's always been a bit like that," Dusk said, shrugging. "She's smart. Really smart."

"But you," Lore said to him , "you really weren't much help at all. All you did was stand there and sputter. Heck, even Midna was more help than you!"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Midna asked, eye narrowed dangerously. Lore shrank a little under her gaze.

"Nothing..."

"Hmm..." Midna examined him for a second, then decided he was being honest. "Well, _I_ know why the little wolf wasn't much help."

"Not now Midna," Dusk groaned.

"He liiiikes her," Midna sang, doing a little midair twirl. The group processed that for a second.

"...Not bad, dude," Steam said, reaching up and giving Dusk a clap on the shoulder. "Not bad at all. I wish you luck in all your romantic endeavors."

Dusk spluttered, then gave up and stared at the ground, face bright red.

"That's nothing to be ashamed of," Wind told him. "I think we've all liked a certain princess at one point or another in our lives, right?"

There was a consensus of nodding and a few affirmative noises. Midna made a disgusted noise.

"Never make fun of a Link in front of other Links," she muttered.

* * *

Evenutally, the Links reached the hole and slumped around it in groups. On one hand, they knew the importance of moving quickly and fixing the problem.

On the other hand, they had been riding an adrenaline high for the past hour or more and had just crashed, hard.

There was much snoring.

Shadow, on the other hand, didn't need much sleep. He was made of dark magic, after all. He was also basking in the revenge he had wreaked upon Ganondorf, and wasn't about to waste any of that time of sleep.

Midna didn't sleep much either, simply because she was a Twili and they worked differently than Hylians.

Eventually, the two stopped ignoring each other and more-or-less had a civil conversation.

"...You did good, Shady-boy," Midna said.

Shadow snorted. "Really? That's the best you can come up with?"

"Oh, just you wait. I'll come up with the best insult you've ever heard and it will be _devastating_." She cracked a fanged grin, then continued, "I have no intention of losing to you."

Shadow just rolled his eyes.

They sat in silence for a few more minutes, before Shadow unexpectedly spoke up.

"They really like each other, have you noticed?"

"The Links, you mean? Yeah, I've noticed."

"Hmph. What do you think will happen at the end of all this?"

Midna frowned. "I guess... they'd all go back to their own Hyrules."

"Separated by time," Shadow agreed. "And probably never seeing each other ever again."

"As if I'd let that happen," Midna scoffed. "The little wolf just found himself some siblings, he shouldn't lose them so fast."

"Well then," Shadow said, "what are you gonna do about it?"

Midna opened her mouth, realized she didn't know, and closed it again. Shadow sighed exasperatedly and stood up.

"I'm going ahead," he told her. "This is intensely boring and pointless. I'll meet up with the group in the next Hyrule."

Since when do you tell us where you're going?" Midna asked. Shadow thoroughly ignored her and vanished through the hole without another word, leaving Midna with the silence of sleeping Links and her own thoughts. She frowned contemplatively.

"What am I going to do about it indeed..." she murmured. "Maybe..."

Just maybe.

* * *

"He's right, you know," Nayru said to her sisters.

"And it annoys me to no end," Din grumbled.

"The question is, are _we_ going to do anything about it?" Farore asked.

"We _could_, no doubt about that," Nayru mused. "The question is, should we, and if so, why?"

"They'll need to prove themselves," Din said. "So far they've just been kinda... frivolous."

"So we watch, then," Farore decided. "We watch and we judge. In the end, we decide. And if they've passed..."

"We'll see what we can do," Nayru finished.

* * *

**I am REALLY sorry that this update took so long... by my standards anyway. I've had a LOT of schedule rearranging going on lately, and finding time to write has gotten a lot harder. I think... I'll probably be throwing a regular update schedule out the window. Updates are now whenever I finish them.**

**On the bright side, I have absolutely no intention of abandoning this story. I'm gonna finish this sucker even if it takes me 'til next October.**

**Oh, and if the note at the top of the chapter sounded cranky, I apologize. I just got really tired of explaining my reasoning over and over to people who apparently don't read my authors notes or they would have known my answers already.**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to letsagomario, Moonlight Raven Grave, Trainer88k, flowercandy03, The Legend of Zelda Fangirl, Tsukarete, prowessMaster44, Fading Sunlight, and Immortal Horse for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**therichardater: Uh... well, above you in the previous chapter next to A Reader's name. The one answer applied to both comments**

**lestagomario: Well, thank you for being so understanding.**

**Okami no Fude: Analyzing. Good. And that's in progress.**

**SkyPirate0614: ...Maybe. If I feel like it, I suppose.**

**Freefan1412: Also, I usually need recovery time before I launch another fight scene.**

**Dark Pit Not Pittoo: Yes. Yes I do. And that's a good idea. I might use that.**

**Sianna Scale: They already know he's the Hero of Time, both he and Ocarina introduced themselves as such. I suppose, if you really, really want it, I can work in a freak-out scene somewhere... in a very future chapter. Planning, and all that.**

**Immortal Horse: ...Is that an actual thing? Or did I just inadvertently invent it? Ohhhhh crud, p****_lease_**** don't tell me I inadvertently invented it.**

**SkyStar901: That's Lore. And I did note his hair was ginger, or at least questionably colored compared to the other Links. And he ****_is_**** pink as a rabbit... er, used to be,**

**miano53: Well... kinda. More like knocked himself slightly off.**

**Vanillite the Dragonslayer: ...Whoops. But, to be honest, I really had thought I'd answered that in a previous chapter. Sorry.**


	32. Chapter 31

**...Triforce Heroes. TRIFORCE. HEROES. ****_ARE YOU KIDDING ME, NINTENDO?! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK THESE GUYS IN?!_**

**Ahem. Okay. I can work with this. Maybe. **

**But... if I'm being honest with myself, probably not. This game is scheduled for, what, October or something? I'll probably be done by then. And what are their personalities? What are their names? Do I give them color names in French or something, or should I go with gemstones? Colored Links almost always get assigned an official name, we know that. IF I put them in... it would be as a spin-off.**

**Huh. Spin-off. Y'know, I might actually be able to do something with that. 'The Misadventures of the Dimensional Links'... wow that's bad. I'm rubbish at titles, okay?!**

* * *

"Are we all ready this time?" Lore asked in an exasperated tone. The previous three attempts to leave had been thwarted due to various incidents and problems. Most of which involved Realm wandering off somewhere he wasn't supposed to.

"I'm pretty sure we are," Gen told his co-leader. "The Four put Realm in the middle of their formation thingie this time, so I don't think he's going anywhere anytime soon."

* * *

"It's not like I do it on purpose!" Realm protested to his surrounding wander-guards. "This is complete and total overkill guys, come on!"

"**The day this becomes overkill is the day you learn how to read a map,**" The Four told him.

* * *

"...Yeah, they've totally got this," Gen said.

Lore clapped his hands together excitedly. "Brilliant! Move out everyone, we're going dimension-hopping!"

"I wonder where we'll end up next," Speck said as he stuffed his Jar Portal into his bag.

"We won't know until we get there, I guess," Dusk replied. Then stopped in his tracks as a thought ocurred to him.

"Oh... crud. Midna!"

Midna poked her head out of Dusk's shadow and eyed him. "Did you just shout at me?"

"Not now!" Dusk snapped. "Are you still intent on coming with me?"

Midna rolled her eye. "Obviously. Haven't you been listening?"

By this point, the rest of the group had formed a loose circle around the two partners. Lore looked distinctly irritated, probably because they were being delayed yet again.

"Then we've got a problem," Dusk said. "Companions can't go through the holes like we can, they fall asleep."

Midna stared at him. "...Uh-huh. Care to back that up with some evidence?"

In response, Dusk snatched Ocarina's hat ("HEY!") and dumped the still-unconcious Navi into his palm. "This fairy has been asleep for about five weeks straight, ever since Ocarina and Mask went through their first hole."

He handed both items back to their owner, then plucked Ezlo off of Speck's head. "And this is Ezlo, he's a talking hat. No, I don't know how it works," he said, cutting off Midna's question. "He's been asleep for about three weeks, ever since we met Speck and he followed us into Gen's time. Every companion who comes with us goes into this stasis and we can't wake them up. This is what'll happen to you if you come with me."

Midna tapped her finger on her cheek, considering this. "...What if I stay inside your shadow?"

Dusk blinked. "How would that-"

"Because I would technically be a part of you," Midna interrupted. "Your shadow, attached to you, housing me. Protection, yes?"

"I don't think that's how it works..." Dusk trailed off. "Okay, say it does, and you're protected. You probably couldn't leave my shadow until we got back to my Hyrule. Are you sure you'd be alright with that?"

Midna floated up to Dusk's eye level and flicked him in the forehead. "You ask the stupidest questions, little wolf. Of _course_ not. I'll probably go stir-crazy within two weeks. But I am _not _letting you walk away from me again, not when you've somehow managed to get yourself responsible for the entirety of existence. You think I'd miss that because of some stupid 'stasis'? Heck no. I'm coming with you any way I can, whether you like it or not. And besides," she winked at him, "I've been meaning to do some redecorating down in that shadow of yours. There's a _serious_ need for a new coat of paint, and I'm thinking orange."

Dusk gaped, unsure whether to focus on that fact that she had apparently painted his shadow, or that she was determined to come with him. Midna flashed him her fanged grin, clearly considering the conversation over, and shot back into his shadow. He could hear her high-pitched giggling in the back of his mind.

"... I guess she's coming with us," Dusk said weakly.

* * *

Midna put her hands on her hips and surveyed her new home for the next who-knew-how-long-it-would-be period of time. She definitely liked the black suede furniture, that could stay. The ceiling... ugh. Why had she decided to leave it that color? That would have to go. The walls needed a makeover too, Link's natural soul color was peeking through again.

The floor... needed some carpet, she decided. She had originally gone for stonework, but it was cold under her feet and she wanted cozy. Some nice dark gray carpet, the thick kind. That would be nice. And she could put the Sol-lamps there, and there... oh, and if she made them glow in that one way...

Yes, she decided, she could definitely make this work. The only hard part would be getting her black-stone squares to float the way she wanted them to. Maybe she just had to up the power of the gravity spell on the stones... she would have to try that.

With that, Midna set about making herself feel as comfortable as possible. And what better way to do that than to create her own little slice of Twilight?

As that human saying went, she thought to herself, it wasn't much.

But it was home.

* * *

"...Now that that's settled," Lore started, "does anyone _else_ have something they need to delay us with?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"Good. Now, can we, please, please, PLEASE go?!"

"Keep your head on, dude," Blue told him before grabbing his three other siblings and dragging them all bodily through the hole to many yells and complaints.

"He is really impatient," Steam noted, seemingly oblivous to the similarities. "I guess we should follow, huh."

And once again, the Links stepped into another world.

...Sort of.

* * *

What they actually ended up doing was falling and splashing, as the hole had, for some unfathomable reason, dropped them all in the middle of an ocean.

"You have got to be KIDDING ME!" Lore roared. "I AM FED UP WITH OCEANS AND THE WINDFISH!"

"Actually, I think this is my Hyrule," Wind said, treading water like a pro. Lore abruptly stopped mid-yell.

"Oh."

"Little help here?" Dusk called. He, Mask (who was currently a Zora), Sketch, and Gen were supporting the rest of the Links who couldn't swim. Ocarina was nowhere to be seen, but Mask didn't seem worried in the slightest about that.

"Oh, he can't actually swim, but he's got a tunic for it," he explained in response to the questions. "He's somewhere on the ocean floor with the Iron Boots, I'll get him in a minute."

"You think he's alright down there?"

* * *

_'...I did not think this through...'_ Ocarina thought to himself as he stood on the sandy bottom. He craned his neck upwards in an attempt to see the surface, which was just barely visible. There were multiple tiny black specks on top of the water, which he supposed were the other Links.

In between him and the other Links were what he suspected was the local equivalent of sharks. One of them, hopefully just curious, swam down and investigated him. Ocarina eyed it apprehensively as it circled his head.

_'One of these days, I actually need to learn how to swim. This is ridiculous.'_

* * *

"I'm sure he's fine... probably," Mask said, waving a webbed hand. "My question is, what do we do now? We can't support each other forever and I have no _idea_ where the nearest land is."

"We're actually not too far from my home," Wind realized, squinting up at the sun. "By boat, anyways. Swimming, it could take a while. Lemme try something here." He took a deep, deep breath, bigger than any of the other Links thought possible, then let it all out in one, massive blast.

"_**LIIIIIINEBEEEEEEECK!**_"

"DUDE!" Lore bellowed, hands over his ears. "I THINK YOU JUST DEAFENED ME! WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT FOR?!"

"You'll see," Wind said, staring at the horizon. "He should be here in about... six minutes. Mask, now might be a good time to go and get Ocarina, it'll take you a couple minutes to get down there."

"On it."

"Everyone else... well, we can just keep treading."

"Speak for yourself," Steam grumbled, currently being supported by Gen. "This is humiliating."

"Then learn how to swim," Sketch said snarkily.

"I drove a Train for a living! I never even set foot in the ocean!"

"That's no excuse, I was a goatherd," Dusk told him. "I don't even think my Hyrule _has_ an ocean, all our Zoras just went by river."

Steam didn't have a good comeback for that, settling for some cranky mutterings instead.

Mask resurfaced with Ocarina, who was no longer wearing the Iron Boots. He appeared to be in the middle of an argument with his other self, though how they had started arguing underwater was a mystery.

"-you long enough!" Ocarina complained.

"I was helping the others!" Mask protested. "Besides, you were fine!"

"That was NOT my definition of fine!" Ocarina shouted. "There were hungry predators down there!"

"It's not like they were biting you!"

"THEY WERE ABOUT TO!"

"...Maybe we should have gotten him sooner," Gen said as the bickering escalated.

"The one thing about arguing with yourself is that you know _exactly_ how to mess with you," Vio agreed.

Everything was suddenly interrupted by a piercingly loud whistle and the sound of a boat. Wind broke into a grin.

"Right on time."

* * *

...It was a very odd looking boat.

It was made from a mismatch of different bits and pieces that looked as though they belonged with some other sort of decorations. The man in the boat looked as though he hadn't slept in about three months, with strangely short legs and an even stranger elongated torso. He was wearing almost entirely blue, with only a red scarf to offset it.

He also looked exceedingly annoyed.

"Mind telling me where you've been, kid?"

"It's a really long story, Linebeck."

"Over thirty chapters, if my math is right," Blue muttered, then got smacked by all three of his siblings _and_ the Four.

"If you don't stop breaking things, I will break you," Green threatened.

Linebeck blinked, then shrugged and dismissed it. "You got some nerve running off on me like that. And where do you get off calling me outta nowhere like I'm some sorta dog?"

Dusk twitched.

"You're not a dog," Wind told the man. "But I didn't know how else to contact you. Can you give us a ride to Outset?"

Linebeck pursed his mouth, exhaled heavily, then did a quick head count and ran a hand through his hair. "That's gonna cost ya, kid. Fitting everyone of my boat's gonna put her through some stress..."

Wind just sighed, as though this was nothing new. "How much?"

Linebeck started counting again. "Say... five Rupees per extra passenger?"

Wind didn't even blink. "Get us to Outset and I'll pay you there. I've got a stash of saved Rupees in my house I can use."

Linebeck grinned. "You got yourself a deal, kid. Climb on."

* * *

"So who's the fish?"

Mask grimaced. "Not a fish. A Zora. And I'm not actually a Zora." He took the mask off and stuffed it (but carefully) into his bag. Linebeck nearly leaped off the boat in surprise. Then he grinned.

"That's some trick you got there kid. Mind telling me how much that mask is worth?"

Mask gave the sailor a 'touch it and die' glare. "It's not for sale."

Linebeck suddenly became very interested in steering.

"Don't mind him," Wind said. "He's treasure-hungry, but not very brave. He won't try and take them."

"He'd better not," Mask growled.

A seagull cried and landed on Wind's head. Rather than take offense at that, Wind broke into the biggest grin the Links had ever seen on his face.

"Yeah, go and tell her," he said, peering up at the bird as best he could. The gull cried again and took off, making a beeline towards the small spit of land growing on the horizon. Gen watched it go with a intrigued expression.

"Er... who's 'her'?" Realm asked.

"My sister," Wind replied. "Her name's Aryll. I told you guys about her, remember?"

As a matter of fact, the group did remember that Wind had mentioned a sister. But at the time he had mentioned her, they had been preoccupied by the fact that the words "kidnapped by a giant bird" were being used in the same sentence.

As such, the fact that they more-or-less actually _had_ a sister had gotten a bit lost.

"...Sister?!" Lore spluttered.

"Okay, did nobody listen when I talked about this?" Wind asked, seeing the expressions on everyone's faces. "Yes, I have a little sister. You'll love her, trust me."

"I... don't think it's that that we're worried about," Speck said. "How's she gonna react when her big brother comes home with..." he did a quick head count, "sixteen more of himself?"

Wind thought for a moment. "Actually, I think she'd be ecstatic over having more Big Brothers."

"I get to have a sister!" Red squealed.

"**...Maybe we should just pretend to be mute,**" the Four decided.

"Er... that might be best," Wind agreed reluctantly. "Unless you can pull your talking-separately trick?"

The Four visibly concentrated, then the violet member spoke alone. "We're not... very... good at it... yet."

The other three nodded in synchronization, then winced as they realized what they did.

"Okay, just go with being mute," Wind decided.

"I hope you're right about this," Dusk told him. Wind flashed a small smirk.

"The day when I don't know my own sister is the day I don't deserve to have one."

By then, Linebeck was easily close enough to Outset Island to dock, and did so promptly. Then he turned to Wind.

"I'll be expecting that payment, kid."

"You have to let me get it first," Wind replied good-naturedly, vaulting himself over the side of the boat and trudging through the shallows. The rest of the Links followed, splashing their way to the shore. Linebeck opted to stay on his boat and wait.

There was a massive gathering of seagulls waiting on the beach, all incredibly noisy and seemingly focused on Wind, who seemed inordinately happy at the sight of them.

And he was abruptly glomped by a small blonde cannonball.

"BIG BROTHER!" the girl -Aryll- squealed. "I'm so happy you're back!"

"I missed you too, Aryll," Wind laughed, plastered on his back into the sand. "Listen, you think you could let me up?"

"Oh, sorry!" Aryll clambered off her brother and stood up, beaming ear-to-ear. Wind hoisted himself to his feet and, brushing himself off, said, "Aryll, there's some people I want you to meet. For all intents and purposes, they're me, so I want you to treat them how you would treat me. Okay?"

Aryll's eyes were very big, but she nodded excitedly.

"Okay. These," Wind said, indicating the rest of the group who had been standing amongst the seagulls awkwardly, "are my friends. This is Dusk, Gen, Lore, Speck, Steam, Sketch, Mask, Ocarina, Green, Vio, Blue, Red, Realm, and the Four." The Links each waved a hand at their nicknames, although the Four did theirs simultaneously. This reminded Wind of their earlier conversation.

"Oh, and the Four kinda can't talk," he added.

Aryll was still for approximately two seconds before she exploded into motion and proceeded to glomp every single Link on the beach.

"MORE BIG BROTHERS!"

Underneath the ecstatic child, Dusk caught Wind smirking at him in an 'I told you so' fashion.

* * *

After a few minutes of the Aryll Treatment, Wind decided to rescue his fellow Links and pulled his sister off of her current victim.

"I think you've hugged them enough," he told her, chuckling. "But hey, I've got a question for you."

Aryll faced him eagerly.

"Have... have you seen a massive golden squid with eyes on his tentacles?"

Aryll suddenly became serious. "I did a few days ago. There was a funny man with red hair riding on him and arguing."

All pretenses of a smile dropped from Wind's face as he heard that, as well as all the other Links. Everyone was remembering the battle they had just fought, against a man with flaming red hair.

"Ganondorf," Lore growled.

"My Ganondorf," Wind agreed. "We need to go and find him. Bellum too."

"You're leaving already?" Aryll wailed. "But you just got here! I want to play with my new brothers!"

Red nodded emphatically in agreement.

Now, a Link, by general law of the universe, was not a heartless person. It was often in their genes to help and make people happy. So when Wind was faced with his one and only sister begging him to stay, well...

You can probably guess how that turned out.

* * *

"Now remember, it's just for one night," Wind reminded his sister yet again as they tried to figure out how to fit sixteen more beds in their island house. Aryll beamed at him.

"I know. I'm just glad you're home."

Down on the beach, Gen was staring at the grouping seagulls with an almost lethal intensity. Then he abruptly turned and marched over the sand until he reached Dusk.

"I need your Curse Rock," he said.

"Curse _Stone_. And why are you trying to fly now?"

"Because _they_," Gen said, jerking a thumb at the seagulls, "can teach me."

Dusk blinked, decided he didn't want to know, and dumped the Curse Stone into Gen's waiting palm.

Suddenly, a falcon!

_"__Now, if you need me, I'll be trying to convince some of my natural prey to teach me how to hunt them better,"_ Gen said before walking off. As the general translation came through, Dusk stared.

Then Shadow walked in his usual fashion, which is to say, out of nowhere. "Normally I'm opposed to translating," he said, "but that one was so _fantastically_ confusing that I honestly wouldn't mind at all."

"I don't want to know," Dusk said promptly, rightly deciding that anything Shadow found amusing was better off being left unsaid.

Meanwhile, Gen was trying to approach the seagulls without scaring the daylights out of them.

_"__Er... hi?" _He tried.

_"__Hi!"_ A seagull said brightly. _"I've never seen you before. Are you a foreigner?"_

Gen blinked. _"...You could say that. Um... why aren't you afraid of me?"_

_"__Should I be?"_ The seagull asked. _"You don't look dangerous, just different."_

_"__Just... never mind,"_ Gen decided. _"Can I ask you a favor?"_

_"__Well, we only just met, but I don't see why not,"_ the seagull decided, looking him up and down. _"Whatcha need?"_

_"__I need you to teach me how to fly."_

The seagull blinked. _"Didn't your parents teach you?"_

_"__My parents... er... didn't know either."_ It wasn't exactly a lie, Gen thought. They knew how to fly on a Loftwing, just not as an actual bird. Small difference, but important.

_"__Ah." _The seagull sounded as though it was reserving it's own judgement on the quality of Gen's parents, but had clearly decided not to pry. _"Well, I can teach you no problem. Do you know anything about flying already?"_

_"__I can get a decent takeoff, but that's about it."_

_"__Show me," _the seagull commanded.

Complying, Gen launched himself into the air with a few quick wing-beats, then promptly crashed head-first into the sand. The seagull frowned.

_"__Okay. From what I can tell, you already know the basics, which is good. But why are you twisting your wings like that?"_

_"__I was trying to bring them back up without throwing myself down,"_ Gen explained. The seagull stared blankly.

_"__First of all, stop doing that, it's never going to work."_

_"__Thanks for telling me gently,"_ Gen muttered.

_"__Second, when you move for your upthrust, bend your wings halfway at the joint. That allows the air to slip past and pool underneath and gives you a bigger cushion to push back up with. Also..." _Here the seagull gave Gen an appraising look. _"From the looks of things you've got a much wider wingspan than I do. That's going to be key for your power thrusting, which means you've got a lot more oomph behind you than most other birds. It's also going to come in handy for gliding, what with all that surface area to catch the updrafts."_

Gen blinked. He had no idea flying was such an involved process. The seagull noticed this and tactfully moved on to, _"So, think you're ready to try again?"_

_"__Maybe,"_ Gen replied. _"Can you show me what you mean by bending halfway at the joint?"_

* * *

A few minutes later, Wind walked past on his way to Linebeck's boat and was greeted with the extraordinarily confusing sight of a falcon (who were not native in the slightest) apparently getting flying lessons from a seagull.

"Gen's got your Curse Stone?" He asked the nearby Dusk.

"Gen's got my Curse Stone," Dusk confirmed in a voice that clearly said he had no idea what was happening. Wind nodded sagely and continued on his way, splashing through the waves again to Linebeck's ship and handing the man a Rupee sack.

"Thank you very much, kid," Linebeck said, stowing the bag away in a pocket somewhere. "By the way, are you planning on being here long?"

"On Outset?" Wind clarified. "Until tomorrow at least... why?"

"Eh, I promised Sparkles I'd tell her when I found you," Linebeck answered idly. "I was gonna go and get her so she'd get off my back about looking."

Wind winced. "Yeah... if you wouldn't mind?"

Linebeck gave him a look. "Kid, anything that gets that fairy out of my hair is a godsend." With that, the sailor pushed the throttle and steered the boat into the open ocean, getting Wind thoroughly wet as he did so.

Dusk gave him a curious look as he trudged back onto the beach. "Everything okay?"

"Well... eventually I'm going to have to explain to my fairy friend where I've been all this time, and _that's_ gonna be fun," Wind replied, wringing out his hat. "Other than that... I'm good."

Dusk nodded and went back to watching Gen and the seagull, the latter of which seemed to be teaching the former how to flap properly.

"Y'know, I would have thought the seagulls would've been afraid of him," he commented after a minute. Wind sat down beside him with a small _thump_.

"Not really. As far as I know, the only other bird around is the Helmaroc King and I took care of him ages ago. Really, the seagulls haven't ever seen a bird of prey. I don't even think they thought the Helmaroc King was real, something about an island legend."

"...Huh."

Over at the tutoring session, Gen launched himself into the air again and actually managed to get farther than the takeoff, climbing to almost ten feet off the ground. He was shaky, but far, far better than his previous attempts. Wind and Dusk broke into polite applause.

* * *

"Sooo... you can't talk?"

The Four shook their heads somewhat nervously. Aryll smiled encouragingly at them.

"It's okay, I won't judge you for it."

...Aside from the fact that she had the completely wrong idea, it was a very sweet thing to say. They could practically feel themselves melting.

"I'm gonna go find the others," Aryll continued, hopping from one foot to the other. "Wanna come?"

The Four smiled and nodded. Unfortunately they did it simultaneously, but luckily Aryll didn't seem to mind at all.

* * *

The newest addition to Demise's head, Twilight Ganondorf, was in a very foul mood.

Not necessarily because he had lost, although that was certainly part of it.

No, the main reason he was annoyed was because Zant was doing a thing.

It was a very annoying thing.

It was also one of the things which Zant happened to do best. In this case, it was taunting.

Zant was _very_ good at taunting.

_Look who faaaiiiiled,_ he sang, stretching the word 'failed' to an unreasonable length. _We did, we did!_

That was the other thing about Zant and his taunting. He had a complete lack of the understanding that normal people didn't taunt themselves. As such, nobody could really taunt him back because he was already doing it.

Not that they weren't trying.

_Zant,_ Twilight Ganondorf growled. _Shut up or I will obliterate your mouth from your face._

Well, it was really more threats than anything else.

_Great is my god's power, that he may obliterate my mouth from my face! _Zant cried ecstatically.

Demise received the distinct impression of a facepalm.

"If you wouldn't mind actually carrying out that threat?" he asked smoothly. "I think we would all welcome the chance for some silence."

_My pleasure!_

There was the sound of an explosion, and something made a long, drawn out ripping noise. Then there was a faint _clunk_ and the impression of extreme satisfaction.

_Done_, Twilight Ganondorf announced. _Zant no longer has his mouth._

_That's all well and good, and I'm... grateful, that he's quiet,_ Malladus put in, _but what exactly is he doing?_

_...He appears to be communicating through interpretive dance,_ Demon Vaati observed.

"You know, this is one of those times when I am very glad I cannot see what is happening in there."

_I almost wish Majora was here,_ Original Ganon muttered, sounding disgusted. _If there was one thing that mask knew how to do, it was punish something._

_You mean us, _Hyrule Ganon said.

_Well yes, but Zant usually got the brunt of it,_ Original Ganon replied.

_Really? I thought it was usually Bellum who got burnt._

As the rest of the villains got into an argument, Twilight Ganondorf took the opportunity to fill Demise in on his... reconnaissance.

_There's been an addition to their group,_ he said. _I personally don't know him, but I get the feeling that Hyrule Ganondorf might have something to do with it. He seemed to have a very large grudge._

"Was he colored all black with red eyes?"

_That's exactly him. You know who he is?_

"An... experiment I once thought of, originally meant for Hylia. It seems one of my incarnations kept the idea and brought it into reality."

_Mmm... they have gotten better. They had a plan and they quickly found my weak point._

_In all honesty, it's not that hard to spot,_ Demon Vaati suddenly chipped in. _I mean, it's white, shiny, and glaringly obvious._

_I will tear off your wings and force feed them to you with a-!_

"All of you, shut up!"Demise commanded suddenly. "I can sense their presence."

_Your goddesses?_ Hyrule Ganon asked

"They're _not_ my goddesses," Demise snarled. "But yes, them. They are close."

_Finally!_ Demon Vaati said. _You've been looking for these people for weeks, it's about time!_

"...You're right, I do wish Majora was here,"Demise said conversationally. "Would someone mind punishing him in the mask's stead?"

_Gladly, _Twilight Ganondorf growled, cracking his knuckles.

Ignoring the sounds of pain filling his head, Demise concentrated on the power he could feel. They were very good hiders, as he knew well from experience. But everyone was found eventually.

Now he was close. Very, very close.

* * *

**So... How'd I do with the Wind Waker/Phantom Hourglass universe?**

**I had a lot of fun writing Aryll and Wind's relationship. It flowed very easily while I was doing it. **

**Midna... well, I couldn't make myself leave her behind. I enjoy her snarkiness. So this is what I came up with instead. We'll check in on her every once in a while, and maybe she'll comment inside Dusk's head a bit, but for the most part she'll be fulfilling my compromise with my plot-line.**

**Y'know, pretty soon I'm gonna have to write a battle with a squid... I should probably figure out what I'm gonna do with the Links who can't swim.**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to AkakoChiYuki, FadingSunlight, and DarkNutDestroyer for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**Dark Pit Not Pittoo: See my rant up at the top.**

**Immortal Horse: Hmm... not sure. Probably because no-one's stupid enough to antagonize them.**

**PsycoFangirl: That... is still in progress.**

**Alcidis Aurora: That would be one weird remake then. And I think Nintendo would have advertised that if it were true. But it's nice to dream...**

**ThisIsANiceName: ...Maybe. Maybe not. He's weird, we all know that.**

**therichardater: Good for you!**

**Freefan1412: I was of the opinion that this particular Ganondorf was one of the hardest to defeat. At least, he was for me.**

**SkyPirate0614: That's for me to know, and you to find out :)**

**LordOfGaming: You guys learn fast ;)**


	33. Chapter 32

**(Yes, I know I've been neglecting the disclaimer, but I had important stuff to rant about! ...Nonononono, DON'T DO THAT! ...No I- That's not- Look, it's a bit- gah... fine.)**

**The author does not own the Legend of Zelda. And I expect the cookies by tomorrow evening.**

**(...I hate you. How am I supposed to bake fifty dozen cookies by then?!)**

**I'm sure you'll think of something.**

**(Jerk.)**

* * *

"I don't know how you've managed to sleep like this your whole life," Lore complained the next morning. "Why are the tropics so bloody _warm?!_"

Wind shrugged.

"It's because the Sun is so happy!" Aryll piped up. Lore's cranky response died in his vocal chords as he struggled not to upset his new little sister. Din, this was worse then Red's strangely accurate puppy impersonation.

"...Sure, that makes sense," he managed eventually. Aryll beamed at him. He promptly melted.

"Okay," Wind said, "today we're going to go and find Ganondorf and Bellum. We're gonna need a boat, and-"

"But didn't that greedy creep sail off?" Mask interrupted. Wind raised an eyebrow.

"He may be greedy, but he's not a creep. And yes he did, but he's coming back with Ciela."

"That the fairy you mentioned?" Realm asked.

Wind nodded. "He should be here soon, so for now I think we ought to get our stuff together so we can be ready when Linebeck comes back."

"...Dude, we carry everything in magical pouches. We don't _have _anything to 'get together'."

"I forgot about that," Wind conceded. "Sooo... anybody got any good ideas for passing the time?"

"_I'm_ going to practice my flying," Gen said. Dusk immediately snatched his Master Sword and dumped the Curse Stone onto his head, creating a very surprised and somewhat irate falcon who screeched crankily. Shadow snickered.

"Er... do we want to know exactly what he said?" Dusk asked, having received the general impression of an insinuation about his mother.

"Probably not," Shadow said. "Which is exactly why it was so funny."

"...Right, well. I'll just follow him then," Dusk decided, and walked off after Gen, who had stalked away sometime earlier. If he wasn't holding or using it, Dusk was darned sure he was going to keep track of his Curse Stone whether it was in use or not.

"I'm going to actually learn how to actually swim," Ocarina said firmly. "Just putting on my Iron Boots and sinking doesn't work very well in the ocean here. I've got a tunic for it, I might as well learn."

"Then I'm going with you," Mask said immediately. "The last thing I need is a self-sustaining paradox caused by my younger self drowning."

Both Heroes of Time shuddered at that as they walked off.

"Do you even know how to swim without being a Zora?" Ocarina was heard faintly.

"...That's actually a good question," Lore said. "Does he?"

"We'll have to ask him," Steam said, shrugging.

"Does anyone else have any ideas?" Green asked.

"...Weapons contest?" Realm suggested.

"What, like, who's got the best projectile and things?"

"Well, yeah. Pretty much," Realm shrugged.

The group considered that.

"Works for me," Sketch decided.

"I'll join you in a bit," Wind said. "I wanna make sure I don't miss Linebeck and Ciela. Also, I don't trust you with my sister around sharp objects."

Aryll beamed innocently as all the Links glanced at her.

"...Fair enough," Lore agreed. "Now, lets see who can shoot the farthest!"

* * *

An unfortunate palm tree was chosen as the target for many sharp projectiles, and Aryll was permitted to watch from a _very_ safe distance. Meanwhile, Wind sat himself down on the beach and stared at the horizon, making absolutely sure that he wouldn't miss Linebeck's boat when it came in.

Except for the part where he did.

Of course, he only realized this when a furious Ciela bowled him over to the best of her fairy ability and started doing her very best to break his eardrum. Apparently Linebeck had come ashore on the _other_ side of the island, for some who-knew-why reason.

"-doesn't even _begin_ to explain WHERE IT IS YOU'VE BEEN!" Ciela shrieked. "Do you have ANY idea of how _worried_ I've been?! I thought Bellum had captured you, and you were either dead or a stone statue on the bottom of the ocean! You couldn't have even been bothered to, I don't know, SEND A MESSAGE?! WHAT WERE YOU EVEN THINKING?! 'Oh, I'll just pop off to WHO-KNOWS-WHERE and not say ANYTHING to ANYBODY and leave my one and only PARTNER to _WORRY TO DEATH! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO ME?!"_

Wind stared at the heaving fairy, who had finally spent both her rage and her vocal chords and raised a hand, slowly.

"It's complicated," he said carefully, watching to make sure Ciela wouldn't take anything he said the wrong way. "See, I ended up meeting myself on this one island, and then I met more of myself, and then there was a hole in the dimensions of the universe and we kinda went through it and... it all just kinda snowballed from there."

Ciela paused, confused. "'Snowballed'?"

"Curse Steam for explaining snow to me," Wind muttered. "How about... It all just kinda went downhill from there."

Ciela nodded at that, then went right back to being angry. "THAT EXPLAINS NOTHING! You met yourself? Seriously? That's the best you can come up with?"

Conveniently, Wind was saved from explaining by the very loud arguing of the group who was having the projectiles contest.

"You can't use your Pegasus Boots to guide your shot!"

"Why the heck not? I already shot the arrow, if I'm fast enough to run alongside the thing and help it along why shouldn't I?"

"Because not all of us _have _Pegasus Boots!"

"How is that my fault?!"

Wind, being well used to this kind of thing, just sighed and did his best to ignore them. Ciela, on the other hand... well, Wind assumed she was gaping. He couldn't actually see into the little ball of light, but her wings were indicating shock.

"...What?!" She sputtered.

"Time for introductions," Wind decided. "Come on, you can meet the group."

* * *

"You really weren't kidding, were you Link?"

"Which one of us is she talking to?" Lore whispered.

"Wind," Sketch replied.

"That makes sense."

"I mean, when you said you met yourself I was a bit..."

"You insinuated I was crazy," Wind supplied dryly.

"With good reason, I think," Ciela shot back. "True, you get into some strange situations, but that sounded a little _too_ strange. But now... how many did you say there were of you?"

"Well, there's about twelve of us right here, not counting me," Wind said, numbering his fingers. "Mask is making sure Ocarina doesn't drown, that makes fourteen. Then Gen is learning to fly, Dusk is watching him, and I think Shadow went along to translate anything Gen says that he think will be disturbing. That makes seventeen, plus me, is all eighteen of us."

"How did you ever manage to run into seventeen more of yourself?" Ciela asked in amazement.

"The hole in the dimensions of the universe, remember?"

Ciela's light dimmed slightly, as though she was frowning. "Yeah... Hang on, one of you's learning to _fly?_"

Wind shrugged. "We turned into animals about a week ago and Gen couldn't figure out how to fly. It annoyed him. So he's been trying to figure it out ever since, and yesterday he got a lesson from a seagull so he's getting a lot better."

"Animals?!" Ciela sputtered.

Wind blinked. "Yeah, why?"

"You consider that normal?"

It was slowly occurring to the group, most of whom were listening to the conversation at this point, that their experiences were about as far from normal as one could possibly get.

Well, aside from Dusk, who apparently thought turning into an animal on a regular basis was normal. But other than that... they were not normal people.

"Er... we used to, until you just pointed it out."

"I think we thought it was kinda odd in the beginning," Sketch said. "I sure did. When do you think we stopped?"

"Somewhere around Mr. Blue Pig and Mr. Pudgy Bat," Lore decided. There was a general agreement of head nodding and some muttered assents.

* * *

_"__HAH!"_

Dusk shaded his eyes as he squinted up at Gen, who had finally mastered flying. He was currently a hundred feet or so in the air and gliding on a thermal, while also shouting his accomplishment to anyone who could hear at the top of his lungs.

"That's really great," Dusk called up. "I'm happy for you and all, but don't you think you ought to come down now? I think Wind is making introductions."

_"__Yeah yeah, I'm coming."_

It was then that Gen discovered a crucial flaw in his flight instructions. While he had learned how to fly, flap, take off, and other important things, until just now he had never gotten far enough off the ground to even _begin_ to worry about how to land.

And now he had to land from about a hundred feet or so in the air.

This could not end well.

* * *

Shadow abruptly burst into loud, uncontrollable and somewhat maniacal laughter, which of course drew everyone's attention. The cause for his amusement appeared to be the fact that Gen had just crash-landed into the beach. The entire front half of his body, wings and all, was buried a good two feet deep in a five-foot sand crater. Dusk, who had unfortunately been in the blast radius, was covered head to toe in a layer of sand. The interesting thing about it was that there was a very defined line of where the sand ended and where Dusk's tunic began.

Shadow was doubled over in laughter and rolling on the beach, but that was perfectly normal considering his personality.

Dusk raised a hand and slowly wiped the sand layer off his face, then spat out a mouthful or two and blinked. Gen, still half-buried, twitched. So did Dusk. Then the Hero of Twilight marched over, shedding sand as he went, and unceremoniously dropped Gen's Master Sword onto the falcon's tail feathers, then snatching the Curse Stone from midair as it materialized.

Somehow, Gen still turned out to be halfway buried, although he took up a lot more of the crater now.

"Best. Day. Ever," Shadow gasped before losing himself to more laughter. Ciela stared, wings twitching in the fairy display of complete confusion.

Speck and the Four went to haul Gen out of his crater while Realm, Sketch, and Steam did their best to help Dusk clean himself off. Somewhere in the middle of this Ocarina and Mask came back and took offense at Shadow, who was still laughing, and got into a rather loud argument with him. Then Lore, being who he was and loving loud arguments, joined in, but seeing as how he didn't actually know what the argument was about he started randomly interjecting comments about sand quality and the whether or not it was possible to make sand garden-friendly if enough seagulls 'fertilized' it. And Aryll was right in the middle of it all, giggling.

All combined, it made a horribly loud racket, so it really wasn't a surprise that nobody noticed Linebeck sprinting up the beach until he ran straight into Vio and they both tumbled over.

"EVERYBODY SHUT UP!" Wind bellowed. Since he was usually one of the quieter Links, the rest of the group took notice and shut up.

"Thank you," Wind said at a much more normal volume. "Linebeck, _what_ are you doing?"

The sailor disentangled himself from Vio (who threw him a cranky look), then stood up and brushed himself off. Then he said, "You remember that squid you were looking for?"

"Yeah, why?"

"'Cause he's lurking in the shallows over there and he just launched an angry red-haired projectile," Linebeck replied, jerking his thumb backwards.

There was a moment of dead silence. Then-

"WHAT?!" Realm shrieked.

"WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?!" Lore bellowed.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US SOONER?!" Wind yelled.

"I JUST DID!" Linebeck yelled back.

Wind took a deep breath to calm himself down. "Aryll, go and find Grandma, okay?"

"Sure!" Aryll chirped and skipped off down the beach.

"You are being completely overprotective," Lore said. "And I totally approve."

Wind rolled his eyes. "Pester me later, right now we have more important things to deal with, yeah?"

"About that," Linebeck spoke up. "The redheaded guy appears to be taking the island settlement hostage. Is that bad?"

"_WHAT?!_"

Abruptly, Linebeck and Ciela were left with each other on an otherwise empty beach, the cause being that the entire group, Shadow included for some odd reason, had started a mad sprint back to the Village. The two companions stared after them, then at each other. Linebeck shrugged.

"After you, Sparkles."

Ciela gave him what probably would have been an evil glare if her natural glow wasn't in the way, then flew off with a "Hmph!" Linebeck just smirked and jogged behind.

* * *

"Do we have a plan?" Mask called as the group ran.

"We're gonna need two groups," Wind yelled back. "One who can swim and the other who... well, can't I guess."

"Thank goodness I learned," Ocarina muttered.

Mask snorted. "The only thing you learned how to do was tread water and dive a little."

"It's more than I started with!"

"AS I WAS SAYING!" Wind yelled. "The group who swims need to fight Bellum. The group who doesn't can either stand on the beach and attempt to help, or fight Ganondorf."

Lore suddenly gasped dramatically and _screech_ed to a halt, throwing up a sand plume as he did. "This is a disaster!" he declared. "We have a contradicting nickname situation!"

The rest of the group slowly circled back around, and Gen (who had recovered nicely from his faceplant) raised a quizzical eyebrow. "Care to explain that one?"

"We can't have two Ganondorks!" Lore cried. "That would be a travesty to all annoying battle distractions!"

"Maybe you could number them," Blue suggested.

Lore flapped a hand extravagantly. "Far too cliched. Oh, I _wish_ Ganondork wasn't such a perfect annoyance name, it would be so much easier to come up with new ones..."

"Why not call this one Big Ginger?" Steam suggested. "The last one wasn't bothered by it so much, maybe this one will be."

"I already _used_ Big Ginger," Lore moaned. "It wouldn't be the same."

"Kiiiinda have a village to save..." Wind reminded everyone impatiently.

"Oh, fine," Lore grumped, starting into a run again. "I'll just think up some names as I go."

Within a minute or so of their resumed running, the group skidded into the Village and was met with the sight of Ganondorf taking very loud offense to a group of seagulls who appeared to be in a full-on attack mode.

"INFERNAL PESTS!" Ganondorf roared, doing his level best to smack the birds from midair. At that moment, Wind fervently thanked himself that he had sent Aryll away, since she would have most definitely taken offense to her beloved birds being treated that way.

Then he abruptly decided that the group needed an actual battle plan and dragged everyone behind a convenient house while Ganondorf was occupied.

"Everyone who can swim, stand over here," Wind said, pointing. "Everyone who can't stand over there."

Everyone obediently shuffled themselves into the two separate categories.

"Swimming group," Wind said, addressing Dusk, Mask, Ocarina, Sketch, Gen, Lore, and himself. "Bellum has a _lot _of eyeballs for a reason I never quite figured out. The main one is inside his mouth-"

"_What?_"

"Don't ask me, I don't know! Anyway," Wind continued, "aim for the eyes. If his main one is closed, go for the smaller ones on his tentacles. And if _none_ of those are available... umm..."

"Aim for his slime," Vio interjected suddenly. "Sea creatures often depend on a slime layer to keep themselves hydrated above water. Remove that and he'll be vulnerable."

Wind flashed him a grateful look. "Good idea, thanks. Now, land group-"

"That's where I'll be," Shadow interrupted. Wind blinked.

"Er... I never actually asked, but can you swim?"

Shadow snorted. "How do you think I got here? It's an island. Can't exactly walk to it."

"We could use you on the swimming group, there's only seven in it and-"

"Not interested," Shadow broke in, idly swinging his sword. "I'm here for the Ganondorfs and the Ganons, nobody else. I'm going to fight who I came to fight and there's nothing you can do about it."

"...I'm not in the mood to argue about this," Wind decided. "Right, land group. Which is everybody not in the swimming group, in case it wasn't obvious."

Red, Green, Blue, Vio, the Four, Realm, Steam, and Speck nodded, while Shadow just rolled his eyes.

"I actually fought this Ganondorf before," Wind said. "I honestly thought he was underneath the ocean, but I guess with Demise and all he kinda got loose. Basically, it's gonna be a sword-fight, but we're also gonna need somebody with Light Arrows. Last time Tetra took care of that, but..."

"Right now she's a statue on a boat somewhere, we remember," Realm told him.

"I can take care of the Light Arrows," Speck said shyly. "I got some after helping a man expel a ghost."

"Brilliant!" Lore declared. "Why didn't you mention that sooner?"

"Mask and Ocarina usually had it covered," Speck answered.

"That was convenient," Wind decided. "Okay. He'll let himself get hit by the arrows a few times, but after that it gets tricky because that's when Ganondorf starts actually trying. If we want to hit him with the arrows we're gonna need some teamwork involving a Mirror Shield."

There was a moment of silence before Ocarina let out a heavy sigh and started rummaging in his bag. "I'm gonna be swimming, I don't need to lug this thing around while I do it." He pulled his Mirror Shield out with a bit of protesting metal and handed it off to Realm.

"Don't lose it, you hear me?" He instructed. Realm stared at him.

"You do realize who you just handed this to and what you just said, right?"

Ocarina nodded in a resigned fashion. Realm blinked, opened his mouth, closed it, then hoisted the shield onto his back and began strapping it onto himself in the most secure way he could possibly think of. "I promise you, I won't let you down," he said.

"...Good, that's covered then," Wind said. "Once he's stunned again, hit him with everything you've got and that should finish him off. Any questions?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"Perfect," Lore said, taking over in his usual position of battle-enthusiast. "Break!"

* * *

The land group sprinted out from behind the house, providing a distraction as the swim group made a break for the ocean to confront Bellum. Ganondorf, taking notice, abandoned the seagulls and turned to glower dangerously at them.

"None..." he began, scanning the land group, "of you are my Link. Where is the one who defeated me beneath the ocean?"

"He did _what?_" Steam hissed to his fellow Links. Of course, Wind had told the group about how he had beaten Ganondorf, but the fact that he was on the bottom of the ocean had been... missed, by some.

"I seek revenge upon him," Ganondorf growled. "His accursed sword turned me to _stone._"

"He did _WHAT?_"

"Actually, I remember him mentioning that," Blue said thoughtfully. "He stabbed you in the forehead, yeah?"

"AND IT HURT!" Ganondorf roared.

"_HE DID __**WHAT?**_"

"WE GET IT!" Realm bellowed. "You didn't pay attention during his story. Now stop freaking out about it, we've got more _important_ things to do!"

"Indeed," Ganondorf agreed, glaring at the group. "It seems I will have to take my revenge on you... pity. It was such a well-planned revenge too."

With that, the villain began slowly advancing on the Links, swinging his pair of swords that he'd drawn from... somewhere. He had a very voluminous robe on, there was probably room in the sleeves or something.

They were _very_ large sleeves.

Equally slowly, the Links started backing away. Everyone drew their various swords, except for Speck, who pulled out his bow and nocked a Light Arrow.

"It needs a few seconds to charge," he warned the group.

"Maybe you should have mentioned that during the planning stage?" Vio said. Speck winced apologetically.

"Well, we can distract for at _least_ a few seconds, right?" Red asked in his optimistic fashion.

"**Easily,**" the Four agreed.

There was a brief pause as the group waited for Lore to say something, then realized that he was in the 'Swim Group'.

"Er... Everyone, distract!" Green ordered, channeling their half-leader as best he could. Technically, he was a leader in his own right, so he was perfectly qualified for a temporary position. He was just used to only leading three other people. Regardless, everyone welcomed the order and sprinted off in different directions, with Shadow charging straight ahead and attempting to land a hit.

Needless to say, Ganondorf parried effortlessly. This made Shadow rather angry, of course, but this particular Ganondorf had two swords to his one and was thus outmatching him.

Meanwhile, Speck had his Light Arrow aimed for Ganondorf's considerably large chest area and was waiting for the charge to finish. "Come on..." he muttered, eyes focused on the projectile. "Just a little longer..."

The arrow suddenly flashed bright yellow and settled into a steady pulsating glow. Speck grinned fiercely.

"Perfect."

And with that, he sent the arrow flying. Focused on Shadow, Ganondorf either didn't see the projectile or didn't much care, and it hit him squarely in the back. He stumbled and froze up, light energy crackling around him.

The Links knew an opening when they saw it, and this was definitely an opening. The group charged their opponent and launched a flurry of slashes, strikes, and stabs as quick as they could manage it.

Then they retreated as quick as they could manage it, because Ganondorf threw off the Light Arrow effects almost immediately and did his level best to return the favor with his own swords. At least two of the Links went flying before the rest got clear, and said rest began frantically backpedaling to avoid the rather angry redhead trying to kill them.

That certainly seemed to be happening a lot nowadays.

* * *

The Swim Group hit the ocean and began making their way past the breakers, with Mask transforming himself into a Zora almost immediately. He also began towing Ocarina because, although he could tread, they hadn't got quite as far as moving around yet.

Conveniently though, Bellum had stationed himself on the deep side of a sandbar. When the Links got within range, most of them were standing knee-deep.

Wind and Sketch were waist-deep, but they were a good bit shorter than the others, so it was perfectly understandable.

Bellum flapped his tentacle-things, creating an awful lot of splashing, and bubbled something which sounded vaguely derisive. The Links stared.

"Er... didn't quite catch that," Gen said. "You wanna try again with less gargling?"

Apparently Bellum did not. He clapped his mouth together over his largest eyeball and began flailing his tentacles around every which way, slamming them down on the sandbar. The Links went scrambling.

"Get your bows ready!" Wind yelled, pulling his own out at the same time. "Aim for the little eyes!"

"Easier said than done," Lore griped as he ran past. "He's moving like he's on fire."

* * *

Somewhere across the dimensions, Majora started laughing.

_**Someone remembers meeeeeee...** _it sang softly.

* * *

"Well, pretend you're on fire too!" Wind shot back. "We just need to hit him, that's all!"

"Can do," Lore said, flashing a thumbs-up before yanking out his own bow and arrows. He nocked one and began tracking the closest tentacle as best he could.

Dusk had a half-mask shaped like a hawk on his face and was following a tentacle move for move. In a split-second pause, the arrow he had ready streaked from his bow and embedded itself in the eye on the tip of the tentacle. The appendage went rigid, then flopped down into the water with the eye closed.

The lid was purple, Dusk noted briefly, before throwing himself to the side to avoid a second tentacle that came slamming down in retaliation. He didn't really know why he was paying attention to the color of Bellum's eyelids. He just assumed it was the hyper-focus that a battle usually brought out.

_'You should really pay more attention to what's happening,'_ a sly female voice murmured inside his head. _'For example, little wolf, I would duck right about now.'_

Dusk looked up, yelped, and flattened himself underneath the waves as a tentacle went sweeping across the surface. He shot back up once it had passed, now completely soaked and dripping water from his hair and hat.

"While I appreciate the help, Midna," Dusk muttered, "Now is _really_ not the best time to have a conversation."

A disdainful sniff sounded inside his head. _'Suit yourself. Don't blame me if you didn't see the slime ball coming.'_

"Slime-gah!" Dusk flattened himself again as a violently purple glob of slime went shooting over his head and to the left, splattering onto Gen and coating the boy in goo.

"Ew," Gen decided, shaking some of the goop off. Then he glared at the squid. "You realize, of course, this means war."

Bellum made some bubbling sounds, none of which made any sense, so Gen ignored it. He grabbed an arrow and, using a trick he had learned from Fi, locked himself onto the nearest tentacle and nailed the eyeball right in the middle. On Bellum's other side, Lore saw an opportunity and landed his projectile as well.

Only two of the tentacles were left. Ocarina was tracking one, and Wind was following the other, with Sketch covering them both for good measure. Mask... was still a Zora, which was understandable given the location. But the elbow fins made it a _bit _hard to shoot a bow.

Bellum screeched, understandably angry at losing the use of three of his limbs, and brought his two remaining tentacles up in preparation to slam them down. Unfortunately for him, both Wind and Ocarina saw it as an opportunity and unleashed their respective arrows into their respective tentacles, rendering Bellum's attack useless and leaving him with no limbs left. Without his smaller eyes to see with, Bellum was forced to open his main eye, and that was when Mask took his shot.

While the elbow fins of the Zora weren't really designed in mind for bow usage, they were unique in that they acted as their own projectiles. Mask bent his arms at the joints and launched his arms forward, causing the fins to detach and spiral boomerang-style straight at Bellum's head. His eye was hit in a rapid-fire one-two rhythm before the fins shot back to their owner and reattached themselves. Bellum reeled.

And most of the Links, aside from Ocarina, gaped.

"Dude, how long have you been able to do that?" Lore enthused.

"Uh... ever since I got this," Mask said, tapping his face to indicate the mask he was wearing. "I'm pretty sure I mentioned that...?"

"You told me," Ocarina said. "Not sure if you told anyone else."

Mask frowned. "Why'd I tell you? Did I completely forget about the 'Not Knowing the Future' rule or something?"

Ocarina opened his mouth, then got sidelined by Lore. "Brilliant argument brewing, I'm sure," he said, "but we've got a squid to fight, yeah?"

At that moment, Bellum decided to switch tactics and launched himself entirely out of the water, spinning around like a maniac and quickly proving himself impossible to hit. And since the sandbar no longer held its designation of reasonably safe, the Links had their second strategy session while running.

"We need to stop him from moving!" Wind gasped.

"Would a concentrated dose of Winter work?" Lore asked, already reaching into his bag.

"He'd break the ice."

Lore scowled and withdrew his hand.

"Oh, I _wish_ I'd brought Ciela along," Wind groaned. "She was right on the beach with us, why didn't I grab her?"

"Because fairies take extreme offense to being handled like an object?" Ocarina offered.

"Tell me about it," Mask grumbled.

Wind shook his head. "Because I wasn't thinking, that's why."

"What does Ciela do that would be helpful here?"

"She could freeze time for a short period. It was really helpful during my adventure."

Mask snorted. "Well why didn't you say so? Do you want my Ocarina, Ocarina's Ocarina, or Lore's Harp?"

Wind smacked himself. "I can't believe I didn't think of that."

"I can take care of it," Lore said, reaching into his bag again and pulling out his Harp of Ages. "You guys are better shots than me anyways. Just give him pain for me, yeah?"

"Absolutely," Mask grinned. Which looked a little odd, considering what species he was at the moment, but the message was clear.

* * *

The fight against Ganondorf had gotten significantly harder.

The second and third Light Arrows had gone about as smoothly as the first one had, but after that Ganondorf had launched a furious assault which made it impossible to get a good shot in. Speck had stopped trying after the first two wasted arrows, because he had a limited supply and couldn't afford to throw away any more. Everyone else just tried not to die.

Then again, it was mostly Speck that Ganondorf was after, because he was the one who had fired the arrows in the first place. It was a very good thing that Speck carried a portable Portal everywhere he went, otherwise he would probably be having a lot harder of a time hiding from his very angry opponent.

For the curious, he was actually clinging to one of the many folds of Ganondorf's voluminous robe. How he had gotten there was... complicated. But it was an excellent hiding place, on account of the last place Ganondorf would look for his enemy was on himself.

On the other hand, since Ganondorf suspected that Speck was hiding on someone else, the rest of the group was subject to some... violent behavior.

Fortunately, Shadow was a rather large fan of violent behavior.

"You call that a parry?" the shade laughed. "My grandmother fought better than you! My _grandmother_. And actually, since Wind _has_ a grandmother, I'm perfectly justified in saying that!"

Ganondorf merely snorted and went through another set of motions with his blades. In retaliation, Shadow flashed his sword through a similar moveset and managed to block all the slashes.

"I can see why Lore enjoys tormenting you people so much," Shadow mused as he fought. "This _is_ fun, in a way."

Once again, the only response he got was a grunt and more swordsmanship.

"Silent fighter, eh?" Shadow said. "I can understand that. Sorry if I'm not the same way!" Suddenly the Dark Link lunged forward and managed a surprise strike in Ganondorf's chest, then quickly backed away to avoid the repercussions of his action. Just as fast, Realm shot in and took his place in the parrying war that they and Ganondorf were carrying out. With Ganondorf on guard as much as he was at the moment, having more than one Link face him was too risky.

Realm's luck suddenly kicked in as he landed a side-slash that surprised both Ganondorf and himself, and he only remembered to back away just in time, barely avoiding a retaliating stab. The Four sprinted in to take his place and consequently proved that four swords were easily enough to handle two.

And in the ensuing chaos, Speck jumped off Ganondorf's robe and ran off to re-size himself. Sooner or later he would need to be able to fire arrows again. The way things were going now, he thought he would prefer sooner. It was a very rough ride hanging onto that outfit.

* * *

Lore's Harp had turned out to be exactly what the Links needed to stop Bellum in his tracks. Conveniently Lore could expand the influence of the instrument to include the entire group, so that when Bellum was frozen all the Links in the Swim Group were available to whack at him.

Inconveniently, Lore's aim wasn't the most optimal, so the actual times Bellum was frozen were less than desired. It also didn't help that Bellum seemed to have adopted the mindset of a roller coaster.

"I think I've got him this time!" Lore yelled, and blasted out a chord on his Harp. The sound rippled through the air, creating a pocket of deadtime and just barely... missed.

"WOULD YOU LEARN TO AIM THAT THING!" Mask yelled.

"I AM TRYING!" Lore bellowed back. "If you haven't noticed he's a little hard to hit!"

"Maybe you could aim where he's going to be rather than where he is?" Dusk suggested. Lore cocked his head thoughtfully, then raked his hand across the Harp strings again. This time, it hit. Bellum froze mid-spin and hung in the air as though he was suspended from strings. He was a little too high up to be hit with swords, but if there was one thing a Link was good at it besides swordplay, it was archery. Especially if the target happened to be stationary.

As a result, Bellum was promptly hit with a vast amount of arrows.

The squid shuddered violently and broke out of the hold that Lore's Harp had created. He spun himself into motion again and twisted through the air, then shot down and plowed through Sketch, Gen, and Ocarina before soaring back up.

"I really hate that squid," Gen grunted, pushing himself back up. "He's gonna run me through all my health potions at this rate. Speaking of which..." He pulled out a couple bottles of red liquid and shook them at the group. "Anybody need some?"

"I'll take one," Sketch said, holding his side. "I think the octopus broke something."

There was a sudden burst of loud and angry bubbling from above their heads, and the Links looked up to see Bellum glaring down at them.

"Fine, fine, not an octopus," Sketch corrected. "Some people are so sensitive..."

Gen handed him a bottle, which he chugged as fast as he could manage, then hauled himself to his feet.

"Thanks."

"Ah, what's a medic for," Gen said amiably. "Now we should probably get back to running for our lives, yeah?"

"Oh, good point," Sketch nodded. "Almost forgot about that."

Bellum chose that moment to try and flatten them again, which of course jogged their memories rather nicely. Lore shot out another Harp blast, which missed ("LEARN TO AIM!"), then ran because Bellum took offense to that.

Aiming his instrument while running was naturally harder than while standing still, but Lore was most definitely stubborn enough to try. And, miraculously, this one hit. Even more miraculously was that fact that Bellum was low enough to be in range for a sword attack.

"It's not getting much better than this!" Lore yelled. "Hit him now!"

The rest of the Links swooped in and began battering Bellum with their swords, going for all the slashes and stabs that time allowed. This combined with the previous attacks, finally seemed to be too much for Bellum to tolerate. The squid let out an ear-splitting screech and half-dove, half-fell back into the deeper water beyond the sandbar. Panting, the Links watched him go.

"Good riddance," Ocarina gasped, hands on his knees.

"I vote, we take a breather," Gen said, "then go and help finish off Ganondorf."

"A breather sounds nice," Dusk panted.

Wind frowned. "Shouldn't Bellum have left behind a hole?"

"Maybe he did it under the water," Sketch said, eyebrows furrowed. "He is a squid, after all."

"I guess..."

The group turned around and began splashing their way back to shore. They only took a few steps before Lore suddenly stopped and glanced around. The rest of the Links slowed and turned to look at him.

"Something wrong?" Gen asked.

"I thought something touched my back," Lore muttered, twisting around and peering behind himself. "Something cold."

Wind's eyes narrowed. "I think you should move, Lore. Now."

"Yeah..." Lore agreed, still looking behind himself. He faced front again and walked a few steps, but then stopped again just as abruptly as the first time.

"Seriously, what's touching me?" He demanded, whirling in a full circle. "I could swear there's something on my back."

He turned to the rest of the Links again, intending to ask them if they saw anything, when he froze.

"There is definitely something on my back," he said slowly. "And also my head... and my legs... and probably my arms too."

"You sure? I don't see anything," Gen said, craning his neck.

"Of course I'm sure!" Lore snapped. "I can't move my body, I don't think that's-"

He stopped talking.

Anyone who knew Lore, even the slightest bit, knew that he talked. He talked a lot. So for him to stop, much less stop in the middle of a sentence...

"Everyone, back away slowly," Wind advised. "I think... I think this might be really, really bad."

"You don't say?" Mask snarked nervously, eyeing the now blank-faced Lore.

There was a dull splashing from behind Lore, in the deeper water, and Bellum's main body suddenly shot out of the ocean and latched onto Lore's back. The Link lurched from the impact, allowing the rest of the group to see the five tentacles attached to the back of his head, thighs, and upper arms.

Then Lore, silent and expressionless, drew his sword and began slowly advancing on his friends.

As they backed out of the water and onto the beach, Gen summed up everyone's thoughts in one, succinct word.

"_Crap._"

* * *

**CLIFFHANGER! MWAAAAHAHAHAHAHA! ...It's fun being evil ;)**

**To all the people who are gonna leave a review asking me what's going to happen, I have one thing to say to you. **

**Wait and Seeeeeee...**

**On a less frustrating (to you, anyways) note, sorry this took over a week. I had some writers block involving transitions and I couldn't decide how I wanted this fight to go. Then I hit on the 'Have Someone Get Possessed' idea. I think it worked out well, no?**

**One more thing. Lately, you guys have been leaving reviews like crazy. That's a good thing, don't get me wrong. But it's getting to the point that I can't answer all of them in my usual fashion. I'm going to start moving to PMing the the people I can, and answering the people I can't here. And if I missed anybody down below... sorry. My bad.**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Fun thing, people. ILikeLegendOfZelda is writing their own story called The Meetup of Links. Kinda similar to this one, except the plot involves more Zelda and different Link personalities. Also superpowers, for some reason. Worth a shot to visit, wouldn't you say?**

* * *

**Thanks to nomnomnom77, Blade-A-Blaze, Mass Craziness, HonorBridge, and Litwick723 for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**PokemonTrainer4700: I was going off game content, as both WW and PH take place in the same world with the same Link.**

**Freefan1412: Thanks! And the goddesses... I'm actually still working on that *rubs neck sheepishly***

**Guest: See PokemonTrainer4700's answer**

**Litwick723: Glad you're enjoying it so much :)**

**PsycoFangirl: That would apply if both Zant and Ganondorf are actually dead. They're not. They're still attached to Demise and are thus still around.**

**pokemonfan67: Thanks!**

**Thegenuisyoshi: ...as flattering as that would be, I highly, HIGHLY doubt I inspired Triforce Heroes. I only started this fic in, what, January or something?**

**DarkKeybladePhamtomofTime: Thanks!**

**LordOfGaming: You guys really pick up on my taunting habits. Wow.**

**Dark Pit Not Pittoo: Good to know.**

**Immortal Horse: Thanks!**

**therichardater: That's not a bad idea. I'll probably wait and see just to make sure they don't have official names, but if they don't I may use that. Depending on gameplay and all.**

**SkyPirate0614: Triforce Heroes is a new LoZ game announced at E3, scheduled for release sometime this fall/winter. The main reason I got annoyed is that now I have yet another set of look-alike Links to deal with and differentiate between.**

**Alcidis Aurora: True.**

**Vanillite the Dragonslayer: I sorta let the FSA manga influence me for their personalities. And actually, Four Swords came first. Four Swords Adventures is sort-of a remake/continuation. As for my favorite Pokemon... I'm gonna have to go and narrow it down from all seven-hundred-and-who-knows-how-many. I think I'll PM you when I've got it. My favorite Zelda item is probably a Double Hookshot/Clawshot.**


	34. Chapter 33

**(...Cookie Slavedriver.)**

**Don't complain, you enjoyed it. Now let's see... The author does not own the Legend of Zelda. If they did, the timeline probably wouldn't be such a complicated mess and might actually work linearly.**

**(I dunno, I kinda like the timeline all confusing and messed up. This way I have proper justification for why the Links need rips/portals to get around.)**

**But when you try and explain it to people...?**

**(Oh. ...I hate it when you're right. Curse You, Universe!)**

* * *

"Bad bad bad bad bad bad bad," Ocarina chanted as the group backed away.

"What do we do?!" Sketch panicked.

"Lore was the one with experience in people getting possessed!" Wind replied, equally panicked. "I didn't know Bellum could do this, I thought he just made statues!"

"Clearly he does more!"

"I KNOW THAT NOW!"

"Gen? Plan?" Dusk asked quietly, eyes focused on his possessed half-leader who was advancing in a rather zombie-esque staggering fashion.

Gen didn't respond.

"Gen," Dusk said louder and a good bit more urgently. "Don't blank on us now, dude."

Gen narrowed his eyes at Bellum-Lore and muttered to himself.

"Really bad, really really bad..." Ocarina intoned to himself. Mask started snapping his fingers in front of his older-but-younger self's face.

"I can't believe I used to panic like this," he sighed. Then he paused, considered something, then said, "I also can't believe I'm _not _panicking right now."

"Gen! What's the plan?" Dusk repeated. Once again, the only response he received was some unintelligible mutterings.

_'Perhaps if you yelled, little wolf,'_ Midna suggested.

Dusk took a deep breath, then-

"**GENESIS!**"

"Beware of the Leopard!" Gen yelped, leaping a good two feet into the air. He landed, staggered, then turned and yelled, "What was that for?!"

"I was getting your attention!" Dusk shot back. "In case you haven't noticed, we're all panicking-"

"I'm not, surprisingly," Mask chipped in. Dusk glared at him before continuing.

"_Almost_ all of us are panicking, and you're standing there like a dead tree! You're the other half of the leadership, _DO SOMETHING!_"

Gen twitched. "First of all, please never call me Genesis again. It sounds proper. Second, I _was_ doing something, thank you very much. I was making a plan like you asked me about."

Dusk raised an eyebrow. "Care to elaborate on that then?"

"Yes. Yes I would," Gen replied. "First, who here runs the fastest?"

"Pegasus Boots," Sketch volunteered.

"Fast as you can, go and find the Land Group. Get them over here as soon as possible," Gen ordered. Sketch promptly kicked up a plume of water and sand as he sprinted away.

"And we," Gen continued, turning to face the possessed Lore once again, "are going to stall until he gets back."

There was a moment of silence.

"That's my plan," Gen clarified.

"Not a very good plan," Mask said, frowning.

Gen sighed. "Okay, remember how Lore always has an item for _everything?_ How he's always giving out tips and bits of information that he learned over the course of his adventures? The fact that he's had adventure_s_, plural?"

There was a slow realization.

"If he actually tried, I think he could probably kick all of our butts if he wanted to," Gen said. "Possibly combined. And right now he doesn't have any control over what he does and whether or not he kills us. Do we _really_ want to face him without everyone else?"

"...Good plan," Wind decided.

* * *

The battle with Ganondorf was going... interestingly. The group had gotten to the point where Ganondorf was wary enough of the Light Arrows to dodge, which meant the Links had to set up with a Mirror Shield.

But of course, Ganondorf wasn't about to sit still and be an easy target. Equally difficult was the actual task of aiming the arrows to properly bounce off the Mirror Shield in the first place. Even more difficult was keeping Ganondorf occupied while Speck and Realm tried to fix their projectile coordination, although luckily Shadow was more than happy to help with that bit.

When Sketch came streaking into the middle of the fight though, everyone, even Ganondorf, paused in confusion.

"Weren't you in the Swim Group?" Green asked.

Sketch, hands on his knees and gasping for breath, flapped a hand futilely at his friend and completely failed to get any words out. Vio frowned.

"What happened?" He questioned seriously.

"Lore," Sketch heaved. "Bellum-possessed... oh geez..." He took a massive gulp of air, then continued with, "blank eyes-tentacles-Gen sent-help-" He sucked in another breath.

"...What?"

Sketch inhaled again and, with an annoyed glare, yelled, "Lore got possessed and I got sent for help!"

There was a beat of dead silence, in which Ganondorf threatened Shadow with something painful and Shadow laughed at him. Then-

"HE GOT** WHAT?!**"

"Turns out Bellum can do more than make statues," Sketch wheezed, having used up his available breath for the explanation.

Steam turned to face Ganondorf. "Would you mind waiting about fifteen minutes while we go and de-possess our half-leader?"

"No," Ganondorf growled bluntly.

"That's unfortunate."

"I'm staying," Shadow announced. "If the idiot was stupid enough to get himself taken over that's his problem. I'm still not interested in the squid."

"Aren't you his shadow too?"

Shadow rolled his eyes and snorted derisively. "I'm _Link's_ shadow. Conveniently there happens to be a large number of Links for me to choose from at the moment. I am choosing not to be Lore's. Make sense?"

He received a large amount of glares from everyone present, except Ganondorf was glaring for a different reason. He thoroughly ignored all of them.

"You can be extremely dislikable, you know that?"

"I take pride in it," Shadow confirmed smugly.

"IF you're all done ignoring me," Ganondorf snarled, "I REFUSE to be challenged by one darkly colored brat!"

"Fine, we'll leave Realm," Steam decided. Realm flinched.

"What?!"

"You've got the most endurance and the most experience dodging angry monsters, it makes sense."

Realm considered that for a moment, remembered the astounding amount of times he had run frantically from a certain three-headed dragon, and shrugged agreeably.

"Am I to understand," Ganondorf said slowly, "that you are leaving me with two pathetic opponents to head off and do battle with a squid? Bellum, the squid?"

"Pretty much, yep."

"'Pathetic opponents'?" Shadow repeated incredulously while Realm twitched. "Oh, it is ON."

It was then discovered that a furious battle acts as an excellent distraction while most of a group runs off to fight a squid.

* * *

Sketch, with nearly all the Links from the Land Group in tow, skidded across the beach and plowed straight into Mask, unable to stop due to the sand beneath his feet. The rest of the group, who had been luckily moving slower, stopped with much more control and stared at the situation.

"...Okay yeah, that's really, _really_ bad," Blue agreed, eyeing the new opponent.

"Do we have a plan?" Speck asked.

"I didn't know Bellum could do this..." Wind said quietly. "I should have known what he could do, he's my villain. If I did then Lore wouldn't be like this..."

"Did you ever fight him before this?" Vio asked.

"No..."

"Then explain to me how it's your fault that you didn't know he could do something."

"...No wonder Sketch hates logic."

Speck coughed nervously. "Still need a plan..."

"Right, right..." Wind examined Lore, who was still staggering forwards, and narrowed his eyes. "Who else can mess with time?"

Mask and Ocarina snorted, amused, and simultaneously pulled out their Ocarinas of Time.

"Okay, dumb question," Wind acknowledged. "Better one: can you do it in a concentrated area? _Without_," he added quickly, "pulling everyone back three days?"

"That was just what the situation demanded!" Mask protested. "I can mess with time normally just like Ocarina here!"

"That means yes," Ocarina translated helpfully.

"Good. Now, here's the plan: parry him, _don't_ hit him, and someone watch Bellum and let these two," he motioned to the Hero(es) of Time, "know when to freeze him. We want to hit his main eyeball."

There was an awkward pause as everyone waited for Lore's usual "Break!"

"...He's still possessed, isn't he," Steam muttered.

"I'm not filling in for him again," Green said firmly.

"Kinda my job anyways," Gen decided. "Therefore... Break!"

* * *

Possession, as a tactic, is used a good amount in most battles of epic and world-deciding proportions. One thing that is never particularly addressed, however, is what goes on in the mind of the possessed.

Therefore, we now take a look at the inside of Lore's head.

* * *

_'How does this possession thing even work?_

_'I mean, here I am, unable to control my own body. It's rather annoying._

_'Really though, he has a tentacle on the back of my head. This is how he's possessing me. How is that a thing? Is there something attached to my brain through my skull? And for that matter, aren't I still wearing a hat? How is he getting through the fabric?_

_'Oh, I think he's raising my arm. I wonder if that's the one with my sword?_

_'...Yes, I believe it is. _

_'I wonder what I'm aiming at? _

_'And there's another thing. Why can't I see what it is my body is doing? Is Bellum tapped into my optical nerves? If he is, that begs the question, again, of how? He's on the BACK of my head, I thought my optics center was over in my forehead somewhere. _

_'Perhaps I should be slightly more panicked about this. I feel as though I ought to be having an entirely different reaction. One with a good deal more screaming. _

_'...I blame Veran._

_'There goes my arm again. I think I'm swinging at something. Probably the guys. I'm gonna need to have a talk with them once I get this squid off my head. Nice tongue-lashing. I'm their bloody half-leader, you'd think I would get a bit of a warning when an octopus attacks me._

_'...What? ...Fine, not an octopus. Touchy bunch of tentacles, aren't you? Now leave me alone, I'm ruminating over here._

_'Come to think of it, how can he hear me? Has my entire inner monologue been readily available to Bellum to hear? _

_'Well now, this has FANTASTIC implications._

_'I wonder how long I can sing the Song That Gets on Everybody's Nerves before it gets on his nerves?'_

* * *

The Four had all four of their shields blocking Lore's attempted strike when something odd happened. The previously blank-faced Hero, who, in the usual possessed fashion, was showing no emotion whatsoever, blinked.

"**He moved!**" The Four yelled.

"Of course he moved, he's trying to inadvertantly kill us!" Gen retorted testily, trying and failing to circle around and catch Bellum off guard.

The reason it was failing was because Bellum was ignoring him, but that was beside the point.

"**Not like that,**" The Four called. "**Like it was his own movements, not Bellum moving for him.**"

"What'd he do?"

"**He blinked!**"

There was a pause, in which the Four blocked another strike from Lore.

"Are you sure Bellum didn't feel the eyes getting dry? Blinking is sorta necessary, you know."

"He hasn't blinked since Bellum latched on," Dusk contributed. "I've been watching. You think he's getting loose?"

"_I_ think," Steam contributed, "that Lore is doing what he does best."

"Annoying the heck out of people?"

"Exactly."

"Well then," Gen decided, "let's not leave him hanging."

There was a _clang_ as the Four parried this time rather than block with shields. It was much harder than they had thought, to fight without wounding their opponent. The natural instinct was to go for a stab after blocking, but in this case...

Unfortunately, Bellum was a terrible swordsman and clearly didn't have the slightest idea on how to properly fight with said sword. He also clearly didn't know about Lore's item repertoire, otherwise the Links had a feeling the squid would have used at least one of them a long time ago.

And while normally this would make for an easy opponent...

"**The one time we ****_don't_**** want to hurt someone,**" the Four muttered, blocking again.

* * *

"NEVER-CALL-ME-PATHETIC!"

"I WILL CALL YOU WHATEVER I WANT, YOU DARK ABOMINATION!"

"**_ABOMINATION?!_**" Shadow shrieked. He tried to say something else, only for rage to render him incomprehensible and only ended up screaming a few spluttered syllables instead. Apparently Ganondorf still managed to find an insult in there somewhere, because he roared in rage and charged with both swords aimed to kill. Shadow, equally furious, met him head on and the two clashed with an impressive display of sparks and protesting metal.

Realm, standing meekly at a _very_ safe distance, watched the two combatants apprehensively. On one hand, he really ought to go and help. On the other, Shadow seemed to be doing very well for himself and probably wouldn't take kindly to an interruption.

Realm figured he was equally likely to get stabbed by either opponents if he interfered. Thus, in the interest of keeping his internal organs right where they were supposed to be, Realm stayed out of it and sent encouraging thoughts in Shadow's general direction.

* * *

_'I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves! Oh, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes! Bum, bum, bum! _

_'I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves! Oh, I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, and this is how it goes! Bum, bum, bum! _

_'I know a song that gets on- what? I'm messing up your concentration?_

_'Thank you so much for the progress report! Clearly I'm not singing loud enough if I'm only messing with your concentration. I'm going for complete and total disruption of the thought process here. Wish me luck!_

_'Now where was I... oh yes. A-hem. _

_'I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves, everybody's nerves! Oh, I know a song...'_

* * *

Completely apart from his vessel, Bellum shuddered. His eye opened and rolled wildly, as if trying to find something. Seeing this, Gen took full advantage of the moment and shouted, "NOW!"

Ocarina and Mask, having conveniently rehearsed, started playing at the same time. While one Hero concentrated on freezing the time, the other focused on restricting the area of effect. Although they were playing two different songs, the melodies intertwined and complimented each other in a rather beautiful but also haunting way. The end result was Bellum-Lore being unable to move while everyone else was free.

"I'm going to say this exactly once," Gen said as he marched up to Bellum's open eyeball. "Get. Off. My. Friend. _Now._"

And with that, Gen stabbed him. Not very deep, obviously, because Lore's spine was underneath there somewhere and hitting that would be bad. But it was still a sword lodged in Bellum's eye, and clearly it had to hurt.

"Anyone else who wants a go, now's the time," Gen said, one eye on his instrument players. Mask gave him a quick We're-Good nod and moved his fingers around to create the next set of notes he needed.

Wind marched up and took Gen's place in front of Bellum. "You've caused me a lot of trouble," he said to the squid. "You kidnapped Tetra. Tormented the Ocean King. Gave Demise your power- and no, I don't care if that was intentional or not," he added. "Took my home captive, put my sister and Grandma in danger. And then, _and then_, you took possession of my brother and tried to kill the rest of my family _with_ _his hands._"

He glared at Bellum's frozen eye with an uncharacteristic fury. "I'm not a very violent person, usually. I do what's necessary to protect the people I care about and that's the end of it. But you... you have somehow managed to push me to where I actually want to hurt you. And I'm not okay with that."

He took a deep breath, then continued, "So I'm not going to, just to prove that I can. But if I ever, _ever_ see you back here, if I _ever_ see you threatening what I care about..." Wind shrugged nonchalantly.

"I can't promise what I'll do to you then. Understand?"

Although he couldn't move, Bellum still managed to give off the impression of quivering. Wind nodded in satisfaction, sheathed his sword, and walked away. His legs then promptly gave out and he slumped against a convenient palm tree, where he took very deep breaths and attempted to calm himself down. The group stared.

"Whoa..." Blue managed.

Gen nodded in approval. "Not exactly what I meant, but well done. Well done indeed." He paused, then said, "But we still need to actually beat this guy, and I think those two are running out of breath." He gestured to Ocarina and Mask, who were still playing but were also turning ever so slightly purple.

The rest of the group took the cue. Bellum, still unfortunately (for him, anyway) frozen, received a large amount of sword wounds to the eye, which started to leak purple and green goop/slime/stuff.

And at that point, Mask's lungs finally gave out. He inhaled greedily despite the fact that his ocarina was still on his mouth and caused a horrendous screeching which cancelled out the frozen time effect quite nicely. Bellum promptly dropped off Lore's back with a wet and squishy _plop_ and lay on the ground, oozing weakly.

Lore blinked.

Then he blinked again.

Then he opened his mouth and said, "I wasn't done with my five-hundred and fifty-fifth verse of the Song That Gets on Everybody's Nerves. Could you _please _have the decency to wait for a guy to finish his song next time?"

"NO YOU IDIOT!" Gen bellowed, smacking his co-leader upside the head and sending him sprawling. "If there's EVER a 'next time', I will PERSONALLY knock you unconscious and smack the green off your floppy hat!"

"I like my floppy hat!" Lore protested, grabbing said ornament protectively and stroking it.

"I don't care. Never do that again, you hear me?"

"Sure," Lore snarked, rolling his eyes. "The next time I get a say in whether or not I get possessed I'll absolutely say no. Happy?"

Gen grumbled something unintelligible and gave a quick, one-handed hug before stomping away in a cranky fashion. As a general rule, men weren't very good at expressing emotions and this was about as close to saying 'I was worried' as they were going to get.

On the sand, Bellum flopped weakly and squished wetly. It could be assumed that he was saying something derisive and intimidating, as most of the villains had done upon defeat, but it was rendered rather useless due to the language barrier preventing any and all of his words from being understandable.

Rather unfortunate, really.

He then vanished into the usual void that spawned from its usual nowhere.

"Did anyone else think that was anticlimactic?" Sketch asked.

"I feel like we normally do more than this," Dusk agreed.

"_I_ feel like we're forgetting something," Steam said. "Where's Realm and Shadow?"

There was a brief moment of silence as everyone abruptly remembered the other opponent on the island.

There was much sprinting.

* * *

"Take. It. Back," Shadow threatened, still very much hung up on the 'pathetic' insult. He and his opponent were currently in a deadlock, swords straining against each other and both trying very hard to take the other's head off.

"No," Ganondorf replied in an equally threatening fashion, still very much hung up on not recanting said insult.

"I feel slightly useless," Realm mused from his safe distance, still very much intent on keeping his innards where they were supposed to be. He was also concentrating very hard on not losing Ocarina's Mirror Shield, which was proving far more difficult than he ever thought it would be. It was like trying to keep track of a fish. He forgot he was holding it about five times a minute.

He was then bowled over by the rest of the Swim-and-Land Group as they sprinted into the fight zone just a bit too quickly to make a proper stop.

"Sorry!" Red cried as he extracted himself from the pile. "We were in a hurry..."

"Did you fix Lore?" Realm wheezed.

"I don't remember being broken," Lore commented in a how-about-that voice.

"Oh good, you fixed him. Now can you please let me up?"

"I said sorry..."

"_You're interrupting my fight,_" Shadow snarled. But since it was generally acknowledged that Shadow was a cranky individual, nobody took him very seriously.

However, the fact that he was in a fight _was _taken rather seriously. So Shadow abruptly found himself surrounded by the rest of the group in a supportive formation, a fact which annoyed him.

Later he would accept that it was probably helpful, but only grudgingly and not at all audibly.

"How far did you get before Sketch came to get you?" Wind asked, sword held out protectively in front of him.

"We were trying to bounce the Light Arrows off the Mirror Shield," Vio answered. "'Trying' being the operative word..."

"He kept moving!" Realm protested.

"Aiming is a difficult thing," Lore agreed, nodding wisely.

Shadow disengaged from Ganondorf's swords with a screech of protesting metal, then whipped his own weapon in from the side in an attempt to slash his opponent's ribcage. Ganondorf blocked him with a derisive sneer and the two went back into their deadlock from earlier, both straining every muscle to try and get an edge in the fight.

"I would very much appreciate it if you would die," Shadow said in a deceptively calm tone. "Would you be so kind?"

"I would say the same about you," Ganondorf shot back. "Care to humor me?"

"I _love _this," Lore exclaimed enthusiastically. "The sheer sarcasm! The biting wit! The complete unwillingness to back down! The _drama! The sarcasm!_"

"He's back," Gen sighed.

"Bloody right I am. Now, I believe some assistance is in order?"

Shadow grumbled, but otherwise made no intelligible protests.

"I'll take that as a yes," Lore said brightly. With that, the Hero of Legend began circling around the two duelists, eyeing their movements and searching for an opening.

The rest of the group followed suit, taking up their own positions and looking for their own openings. Rather than mess with the system, both Speck and Realm were back on their respective duties of Light Arrow-ing and Mirror Shield-ing, and both were making absolutely sure their aim was correct before Speck fired his shots.

Unfortunately while Ganondorf _was_ occupied with Shadow, that didn't mean he couldn't still divide his attention. He then proved himself to be scarily competent with swords by holding Shadow off with one weapon and blocking the Light Arrow with the other.

"THAT'S HAX!" Steam bellowed angrily. "People can't do that, it's dexterously impossible!"

"**Er...We think, if someone can do it, then that makes it possible,**" the Four offered quietly.

"THAT STILL DOESN'T MAKE IT FAIR!"

Ganondorf laughed in a typical evil fashion and eyed all his new opponents. "This finally seems to have gotten interesting," he mused.

Shadow bristled, literally. His usually Link-looking form grew small spikes all the way down his back, rather like a disgruntled cat. Except that these looked a lot pointier.

"So I wasn't _interesting_ enough for you, was I?"

"You..." Ganondorf looked Shadow up and down, seemingly ignorant of the fact that they were still locked together.

"...were a mild annoyance," Ganondorf decided.

Shadow bared his teeth in an excellent approximation of a feral animal and, in a surprising display of strength, heaved his sword out and forwards and forced Ganondorf to stumble backwards. Caught off guard, Ganondorf landed on one knee and stabbed his left sword into the ground in an attempt to balance himself.

This, of course, was exactly the opening that the Links had been waiting for and Shadow knew it. With a fanged grin that reminded everyone very much of Midna, he pointed his own weapon at Ganondorf's head and hissed, "Now."

Speck unleashed every Light Arrow he had left (which was about three by this point-there had been a lot of misses), and bounced them off the Mirror Shield just to make sure he would catch his target off guard. The Four, Sketch, Wind, and Dusk came in from the left, while Lore, Gen, and Mask moved on the right. Vio, Green, Blue, and Red, along with Ocarina and Steam, sprinted in from the back. And Shadow made sure that Ganondorf's other sword, the one that wasn't buried in the ground, was far too busy defending it's owner's front to do anything about the other attacks that were inevitably incoming.

Thus, everyone felt like they had contributed in a significant or at least mildly important way, despite the fact that everyone also knew that it was the Light Arrows that had taken Ganondorf down.

This Ganondorf, surprisingly, didn't say anything as he dissolved. He simply glared at them. But it was probably the most intensive and harm-wishing glare any of the Links had ever been on the receiving end of, and most of them shivered.

Shadow just snorted and ignored it, but also made a mental note on how to improve his own glare. If there was one thing he was bound and determined to be the best at, it was glaring at people.

* * *

It turned out that Ciela and Linebeck had actually been watching the entire fight, all the way from when the group had first run off to deal with it. Ciela had been all for flying out and helping them, but Linebeck had convinced her to stay put and watch, on the surprisingly sensible reason that whatever the Links had gotten themselves into, it was probably far too big and complicated for people like them.

Also, he had trapped her in a bottle and corked it.

Consequently, Ciela refused to acknowledge Linebeck's existence for the rest of the day.

It also turned out that some of the stuff that Bellum had oozed upon defeat (the green bits) were Ciela's missing memories. She was now the Spirit of Time and Courage.

And as such, she was now in tune with the natural flow of time. And the blatant disregard for the natural flow of time caused by Lore, Ocarina, and Mask's instruments made her absolutely furious.

It also made her a bit woozy. So luckily her tirade on the responsible uses of time manipulation had been cut off by her need for a nap.

"I say she's a hypocrite," Mask grumbled, throwing a cranky look at the sleeping fairy. "According to you, she messed with time on a regular basis to help you out. How can she fault us for doing the same?"

"She's the literal Spirit of Time," Wind explained. "When she does it, she's doing it naturally because she's tapped in. You're sort of... breaking in and stealing the accelerator, I guess. Oh, and the brakes."

"...still say she's a hypocrite..."

Gen had camped out in Wind's house, because he had discovered the ridiculously potent healing properties of Wind's Grandma's soup. It also tasted a whole heck of a lot better than health potion, and Gen was determined to stock up on some.

He was also trying to learn the recipe, but that wasn't going quite as well.

"How's this batch?" he asked, wiping his forehead and accidentally marking himself with the soup spoon as he did so. Grandma leaned in, sniffed the soup critically, then dipped a single finger in and let the soup drip. Whatever she saw apparently satisfied her, because she then put the finger in her mouth and analyzed the flavor.

"Hmmm..."

Gen fidgeted anxiously.

"...Did you remember the carrots?" the old woman asked eventually.

Gen blinked, counted back on his fingers, then facepalmed himself, getting soup in his bangs and on his hat this time.

"I remembered the carrots every time before this!" He complained angrily, gesturing widely to the multitude of failed soup scattered throughout the house and also splattering some onto the walls. "I can't believe I forgot!" He took a deep breath, exhaled, then asked, "Did I forget anything else?"

Grandma smiled gently. "Only the onions, potatoes, crab, grouper, and pepper, dear. You're doing much, much better."

"AARRRGH!"

* * *

Later, down on the beach, Gen had borrowed Dusk's Curse Stone again and was trying to convince Wind to use it with him.

"You're absolutely sure this won't end badly?" Wind asked, eyeing the Stone which was currently wrapped in a large tropical leaf.

"What's the worst that could happen?"

"We could short it out, we could accidentally combine ourselves, we could switch Curse Forms, we could accidentally combine our Curse Forms, we could-"

"Okay, so there's a good bit of worst that could happen," Gen interrupted. "But we've only got one Stone, and you're the Link who told me you wanted to learn how to fly. These guys are the best teachers I've found." He motioned to the crowd of curiously watching seagulls. "Now will you touch it with me or not?"

Wind heaved a sigh. "I'm going to regret this later..."

Gen held out the leaf which held the Curse Stone and hovered his hand over it. Wind stretched out his own arm and did the same.

"On three?" Gen asked. Wind nodded. "Okay then... one, two three-"

* * *

_"__So let me get this straight,"_ the seagull said disbelievingly. _"__Your parents didn't teach you how to fly either?"_

Wind, currently a seagull, shook his head nervously. Beside him, Gen ruffled one of his wings and repositioned it better.

_"__We had... strange parents,"_ Gen explained. The seagull gaped.

_"__Strange is not the word I would use,"_ the shorebird decided firmly. _"__Neglectful. How a bird wouldn't teach their hatchlings how to fly is just..."_

The seagull struggled with something, then decided against it. _"__Well, I suppose that's not my place. I assume then, that you're here to learn?"_

_"__I thought, since you taught me so well, you might be able to teach my friend too,"_ Gen said. _"__Also, I'm having some trouble landing, so I was wondering if...?"_

_"__Oh, that's right. We never got that far in your last lesson,"_ the seagull realized. _"__Well, let's fix that. And I'll get someone to teach your friend, Din knows my attention span isn't nearly good enough to teach two. Be back in a bit, you two."_

The seagull walked off, leaving Wind and Gen with themselves.

_"__Umm..."_ Wind started, _"__why do they have such a poor opinion of our parentage?"_

_"__From what I can tell, flying is something taught to you by your parents, at least in a bird's case,"_ Gen explained. _"__The fact that we're not hatchlings anymore and don't know how to fly casts a poor image."_

Wind frowned. _"__Couldn't you have just said we were orphans and there wasn't anybody to teach us? I'm glad they care and all, it's just a bit odd to hear a seagull critiquing my Hylian parents for not teaching me how to fly. I've only been a seagull for about five hours, all things combined."_

Gen paused. _"__I... honestly did not think of that."_

The seagull came back, with a partner in tow this time. _"__Okay, are you ready to learn?"_

_"__Absolutely!" _Gen declared, and marched off with the first gull. The second one gave Wind a once-over and ruffled its feathers.

_"__How much flight experience do you have?"_

_"__Uh... probably none."_

The seagull took that in a resigned fashion. _"__That's alright then. First things, getting you used to the flapping motion. I want you to spread your wings and move them up and down, slowly."_

Wind did as he was ordered. _"__Like this?"_

_"__Yes, exactly__,"_ the seagull agreed. Then the bird cocked its head. _"__You know... you kind of sound like our two-legs friend with the yellow feathers on top. Isn't that strange?"_

_"__Yeah... heh... really strange,"_ Wind gulped, dearly hoping that Aryll wasn't around and silently cursing the similarities of genetics.

* * *

**Thanks to Jon Voris, Whatstoknow, zeldafan 2015, Irokaichio, and fm0825 for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**Guest: Sorry about that. But on the bright side, I usually don't use cliffhangers. This is a bit of a new thing for me.**

**PsycoFangirl: Glad you liked it!**

**LordOfGaming: Pretty much, yep.**

**Okami no Fude: No, she's in this fic. And... hmm... Lore, probably. That's part of the reason I picked him for possession.**

**HylianHero: I never said I stopped :)**

* * *

**I am VERY sorry about the wait. But you'll be happy to know that I have a perfectly good excuse this time. **

**Our WiFi broke.**

**No, I'm not sure how that works either, but the guy who came to fix it was here for like three hours and then ended up not fixing it because there was some problem with the cable wire up a telephone pole or something. Long story short, the actual problem wasn't actually on the ground and required a ladder and what I assume was some fairly necessary electrical protection. **

**Clearly though, it got better, otherwise I wouldn't be posting.**

**The guys finished the fight, some other stuff happened, and I referenced the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. **

**In case you missed it, it was the 'Beware of the Leopard!' line.**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling.**


	35. Chapter 34

**(...I don't actually have anything witty to say this time, Universe. Just go ahead and do your thing.)**

**The author does not own the Legend of Zelda. If this were the case, Kaepora Gaebora would be... 'retired' and used to stuff a fluffy pillow.**

**(Oi! I'm not that violent... I mean, yeah he's annoying and stuff, and I do like fluffy pillows, but you're talking murder here. I take offense to that!)**

**Regardless of how soft that pillow would be?**

**(YES. Now quit making me out to be some sort of nature-hater.) **

**But it's not nature. It's a video game.**

**(Logic... my most hated enemy. Curse you, Universe!)**

* * *

"Just keep practicing dear, and I'm sure you'll remember the recipe soon," Grandma said encouragingly as she handed a vast amount of bottled soup to Gen. "And, Link, do come back sometime soon, we don't get to see you _nearly_ enough nowadays."

"I'll try, Grandma," Wind managed, just barely able to get the words out. Aryll had her Big Brother wrapped in a rib-crushing hug and didn't seem inclined to let go anytime soon. Not that Wind minded, of course. It was just that he also liked breathing, and sooner or later it was going to get _really _uncomfortable what with his current inability to inhale.

**"**Promise?" Aryll asked with the biggest puppy eyes imaginable. Red took a note.

"Sure thing," Wind wheezed. "You're killing my lungs..."

Aryll pouted adorably and loosened her hold – slightly. Wind gasped feebly, causing the Four to take pity and implement a distractionary maneuver by tapping Aryll on the shoulder and opening their arms for their own goodbye hug.

Thankfully, they also remembered that they were supposed to be mute. Otherwise things would have gotten awkward.

"Ah, don't worry a bit about Wi-er, Link here," Lore said, winking. "We'll have him back in no time. Which we will hopefully be successfully saving."

Grandma tilted her head. "Pardon?"

"Just rambling, don't mind me..."

Meanwhile, about half of the rest of the group was trying to explain to Ciela exactly why she couldn't follow Wind through the hole into the next Hyrule. She wasn't taking it very well.

"So you're telling me," Ciela began incredulously, "that I, the Spirit of Courage and _freaking Time_, can't be exempt from the laws of a random hole that deposits people in different time periods."

"Well... yes," Dusk said.

"Hmm. Explain that to me, why don't you?"

"As the Spirit of Time," Mask interrupted, "you have an innate sense of how it works, yeah?"

"Yes..." Ciela agreed suspiciously.

"So then you should know exactly why you can't come with us. The laws of the universe don't really work that way."

Ciela sniffed. "I should be able to bend things a little. I'm beginning to think you don't want me along!"

"Well, it's not like we don't already have some fairies in the lineup..."

Ciela twitched. "_Link's been cheating with another fairy?!_"

"NO!" Mask bellowed. "Navi is-was-has been- gah, she's Ocarina's partner, and Tatl was mine! Your Link was been entirely faithful to you as a fairy partner, okay?"

Ciela gave him what was probably an evil eye, if not for the fact that her natural glow blocked it completely. Her skepticism was palpable.

"Back to the point?" Speck reminded everyone.

Dusk shifted into a more comfortable stance. "Look, Ciela, we've tried this with other companions and the same thing happens to all of them. You may have some influence over how time works, but... I don't think that will make any difference."

"That's what you think," Ciela retorted, and proceeded to turn her wings to all of them.

_'Not going very well, is it little wolf,'_ Midna murmured in Dusk's ear.

"What was your first clue?" Dusk muttered.

_'Aww, you're trying to be cocky with me. That's adorable. Now stop before I decide to smite you, 'kay?'_

"Are you going to help or not?!"

_'Can't I talk to you for the sheer pleasure of your company?'_

"And since when have you found my company pleasurable?"

_'Ooh, good point. Now, repeat after me. If this doesn't get through that fairy's thick glow I'm going to resign from sarcasm.'_

By the end of her speech, Dusk's eyebrow was twitching a mile a minute.

"I'm not saying that!"

_'Do you want her to believe you or not? Now start reciting, little wolf, I don't have all day. I finally got my carpet shipped in and I need to start demolition on the floor tiling. Your soul color looks _ghastly_ with my color scheme, and it takes some serious work to make all this look nicely hospitable.'_

Dusk swallowed. "Ciela... er..." He took a deep breath, then launched into Midna's speech.

It went something like this.

* * *

"It's true that as the Spirit of Time, you will be affected differently. This is not a good thing. This is, in fact, one of the most abjectly horrifying things that could possibly happen to you. Your time sense will be hijacked, painted green, shaved, returned, and then fined for having atrocious hairstyle (which in time-travel is a capital offense). Your wings will suddenly become utterly useless, and will in fact be replaced with newts, who will also be painted green and will be unreasonably crabby as a result. This will cause any resident crabs of the current time era to take offense with extreme prejudice, because being crabby is their job and how dare the newts try and replace them, the inconsiderate slime-balls.

"Naturally your wing-newts will take offense to this and will thus start an interspecies war, which the crabs will obviously win because, let's face it, they have claws and the newts don't. Eventually the entire mess will be blamed on the green paint, because if the newts hadn't been green then they wouldn't have been crabby, and then the war wouldn't have started and so on and so forth. In the ensuing investigation, your green-painted time sense will be arrested and put in jail for crimes against fashion and newts, which will then cause massive universal instability because, obviously, without your time sense how can you feel time? And all because you wanted to go through a hole. For shame. _For shame._"

* * *

Having said all that in one massive outburst, Dusk then took a huge gulp of air and decided to sit down for a minute. Ciela (and everyone else for that matter) stared at him with a 'What the _heck_ just came you of your mouth!?' look and slowly backed away.

"...Not like that made _any_ sense," Ciela began slowly, "but the part about my time sense getting messed up sounded legitimate. Everything else... _why_ were there newts? And why was green paint so important?!"

_'I'm going though a 'green' phase,'_ Midna explained to Dusk. _'Seriously, just say the word 'green', and really stretch it out. Doesn't it sound weird?'_

"...Midna likes green," Dusk relayed flatly.

Ciela increased the speed of her back-up. "I'm... gonna go find Link. I need to wish him luck before he leaves. So... nicetomeetyougottagobye!"

The Links watched her go in an amused fashion.

"Okay, where did Midna even _get_ that stuff?" Mask questioned once Ciela was safely out of earshot.

"No idea," Dusk admitted. "And I'm honestly not sure I want to know."

"Why newts?"

Dusk listened for a moment, then relayed, "She thought they were more interesting than salamanders. And it was easier to say."

"...Makes sense."

* * *

"**We're going to miss her,**" the Four confessed as they waved goodbye to Aryll for the umpteenth time. "**She was fun.**"

"Yeah, how come you got a sibling?" Lore agreed jokingly, elbowing Wind in the ribs. "All I ended up with was an uncle, and he was stupid enough to run with a pointy thing in the dark."

"_I'm_ going to miss the seagulls," Gen said. "Best teachers I've ever had."

"...Okay then."

Wind just rolled his eyes. "Of course they were. Speaking of flying things, how'd you convince Ciela to stay?"

"We... may have introduced her to Midna," Dusk admitted. Wind made an 'Ohhh' noise.

"That would explain why she seemed so frazzled."

The group walked in a comfortable silence for a few more minutes, until they reached the hole. Like the previous times, both Ganondorf and Bellum's individual rifts had merged together and created one main void, which was happily eating the reality surrounding it's edges.

"Alright," Lore said. "Are we all ready for this? Again?"

Most of the group nodded, or muttered affirmatives. Gen took the opportunity to make a head count- and came up short. This was nothing unusual, since Shadow rarely travelled with the group and normally just popped up for the important stuff. But this time...

"Did anyone keep an eye on Realm?" Gen interrupted.

* * *

"I could have sworn they walked this way..." Realm muttered to himself, standing on the top of the cliffs behind the Village. The rope bridge he had just crossed swayed gently in the ocean breeze, and the trees behind him rustled. Realm ignored it and shaded his eyes, peering down on the rest of the island in a futile attempt to figure out where he went wrong.

He sighed. "Well, at least I'm getting some good exercise in." He then turned in precisely the wrong direction, somehow managed to completely miss the very obvious (and in plain sight) rope bridge he had just crossed, and marched into the woods that grew on top of the cliffs.

He really hoped he could figure out where he was supposed to be going... eventually.

* * *

"**Dangit!**" The Four exclaimed. "**Sorry, we forgot to watch him- Wind, what's the hardest and most impossible spot on the island to reach?**"

Wind pointed up. "Woods on top of the cliffs. Hard to climb to and usually full of monsters. If he's not there, I got nothing."

"**Thanks!**"

The Four sprinted off in the general direction that Wind indicated, leaving the rest of the Links standing awkwardly.

"Er... now what?" Sketch asked.

"We can't exactly leave without them," Steam agreed.

Lore thought for a moment, then snapped his fingers. "Idea! How many of you know the Ninety-Nine Potions of Health song?"

* * *

Thirty-eight minutes later, the Four marched back with Realm pinned in the middle of their square formation and deposited him next to the hole.

"**You would not BELIEVE where we found him,**" they said, simultaneously wiping their foreheads with their sleeves.

"Do we want to know?" Steam asked wearily.

"**He somehow managed to fall into a sinkhole underneath a boulder at the top of a hill surrounded by five-foot grass which was infested with Chus and and suicidal Keese.**"

"All things considered, it really wasn't the worst thing I've ever got myself into," Realm said, shrugging.

"What would that be?"

Realm thought for a moment. "Probably the time I tried to get to the Ocean Palace and forgot to equip my special boots. By the time I remembered that I was already underwater- and you guys know I can't swim- so I tried to get back to the beach but I think I went the wrong way because I accidentally crossed into the Dark World, and for some reason there wasn't actually any ocean at that particular point in there. So I ended up falling from ten feet or so and landed in the middle of a Ku tribe- oh, they're the Dark World equivalent of Zoras, only a lot more violent- and they kinda took offense to that, and it all kinda went downhill from there."

"...Y'know, having known you for this long, that doesn't surprise me at all," Steam decided.

Speck cleared his throat. "Um, weren't we leaving?"

"You are absolutely correct!" Lore declared. "I for one welcome the new environment. It's too bloody humid here, I don't know _how_ you people manage to look dry."

Wind rolled his eyes. "The same way everyone else does. We _are_ dry." He started walking towards the hole, with Lore trailing behind him.

"I would beg to differ-" Lore began, only to get cut off by the fact that he was no longer physically present.

The rest of the group, amused, followed them through.

* * *

It was a forest full of mist.

"For some reason," Sketch said, looking around, "I was expecting _my_ Hyrule. Are we in the right timeline?"

"There was only one hole to go through, I'm sure this is right," Dusk replied. "...I think..."

Mask, unusually, didn't say anything. He stared at their surroundings and scowled instead.

"Any ideas on which way to go?" Gen asked.

"**We could split up? Meet back here?**"

"How would we figure out where 'here' is? And for that matter, do you _want_ Realm to get lost again?"

"Do we have any idea whose Hyrule this is?" Ocarina asked. Mask grunted and scowled some more, receiving a confused glance from his older-but-younger self in the process.

"I could give things a sniff, see what I can find," Dusk offered.

"No..." Mask sighed, finally participating. "I know where we are. It's this way." So saying, he walked off through the trees with much disgruntled muttering and a good deal of angry glaring at the shrubbery. The rest of the group followed at what they deemed was a safe distance.

"What's with him?" Sketch asked. "Ocarina?"

"How should I know?"

"You're him, he's you, I thought it made sense."

Ocarina tugged on his bangs. "I haven't been him yet. Yes, he's me, but I'm not necessarily him. That is, not right now. I know he's annoyed about something, but as to what it is I have no idea."

"So then... is this your Hyrule, or his?"

"Uh... let me get back with you on that, I'm gonna need to consult the time-traveling laws for that one."

Up ahead, Mask clambered up onto a stump and began a somewhat impressive series of acrobatic flips onto successively higher stumps. He landed on the edge of a massive hole in a tree, turned, and waved his arm at the group.

"It's through here," he called. "Hurry up, will you? The faster we get there the faster we can leave."

"...Although, I am starting to get a vague idea," Ocarina decided. He began jumping the stumps, not as fancily as his counterpart but still impressively. Mask could afford to show off, but Ocarina, due to the mess of time laws, kept the both of them alive.

Mask waited until everyone had caught up, then walked into the tree, where it naturally got very dark. Then he abruptly stopped.

"Okay, this-" he began, then was promptly cut off as everyone behind him ran into him due to the tree lighting being too dark to function properly in. This resulted in a very familiar-looking pile up.

"Vio..." Blue growled.

"It's not me this time, I swear."

"Well _someone's_ on my leg!"

"I think that's me," Speck admitted sheepishly. "I would get off, but I think Realm is collapsed on my spine."

"Sorry," came Realm's muffled voice. "I'll fix that as soon as Gen gets off my shoulders."

"Yeah, I can do that," Gen agreed, and got off. Once everyone had untangled themselves, Mask continued what he had been trying to say.

"So this is where we need to go," he said, gesturing behind him. "In about ten more feet or so there's a massive hole where you can't see the bottom. I thought I'd give you a warning first."

"Oh, so we don't fall in?" Green asked. Mask chuckled.

"No, so you don't freak out when I do this."

He turned, broke into a sprint, and threw himself into the ravine.

"And don't mind the hallucinations, that's perfectly normal...!" He called back, although rapidly fading. Standing on the edge of the hole and watching Mask vanish, the rest of the group came to the consensus that he was crazy.

"Before we follow him," Lore started, "I feel it's important to ask. Is anyone here afraid of heights?"

"I'm beginning to think I might be," Sketch said, leaning over to peer down. Gen, standing next to him, snorted.

"Please. I lived in the sky, remember? This is _nothing_ compared to that."

"So you're telling me that complete darkness waiting for you down below doesn't creep you out in the slightest?"

"I was talking about the distance. I never said anything about the dark."

"Are we going to jump or not?" Ocarina interrupted.

Steam blinked. "You mean we were actually considering it?"

"Well," Ocarina began, "in a complicated time-twisty way, I've already jumped. And I clearly knew what was coming because I wasn't afraid of it. Therefore, sometime in the future I'm going to come here and I'm going to jump, and I'm going to live because then I'll get caught up in a time mess with my older-but-younger self who, at one point, stood here debating whether or not to jump along with a bunch of other selves. Make sense?"

"Not in the slightest," Lore declared cheerfully.

"Yeah, tell me about it," Ocarina sighed.

And then he threw himself off the edge.

The rest of the group crowded around again, watching him fall into the black.

"He's just as crazy as Mask," Dusk decided.

"Technically-" Vio began.

"We know already," Blue interrupted, putting his brother in a headlock. "You don't need to remind us."

"**That makes two,**" The Four said. "**Are we following?**"

"Can't exactly leave them here," Gen said.

"Agreed," Lore... well, agreed. "Jump on three?"

"Can we jump on three-hundred?" Sketch asked.

"No. One... Two... Three-!"

* * *

"-Sure those images were perfectly normal?" Ocarina asked his counterpart.

Mask shrugged. "It happens every single time. I'm pretty sure it signifies some sort of entrance to an alternate world, but... how would I know?"

"They looked like your masks."

"I've noticed that, believe me. But I have no idea why. Speaking of the fall, you think the others are coming?"

Mask was answered by the loud and screaming _thud_ of the rest of the Links landing in a heap on the gargantuan mushroom above their heads.

"_WHAT WAS _**_THAT!?_**" Steam gasped.

"The perfectly normal hallucinations, I did warn you about them," Mask said from below.

"Normal?!"

Untangling themselves, the group slid off the mushroom and joined Mask and Ocarina on the ground, looking around themselves.

"It's... another misty forest," Gen said, confused. "Why is there an entire other forest at the bottom of a hole in a tree?"

"And why can we see?" Dusk asked, peering upwards. "That hole was pitch black, there shouldn't be any light down here at all."

"Look, the less you question it, the better your mind functions," Mask said. "Now... it should be this way." He walked off towards another tree-tunnel and disappeared inside.

"You coming or not?" he called back.

"I'm honestly leaning towards 'not'," Steam muttered, walking forwards anyway.

The tunnel in the tree was shockingly long, and for some reason ended in a large set of double doors. Mask crossed his arms and stared at it accusingly.

"...Are we going through it?" Lore asked.

"I would prefer not to," Mask said darkly.

"Can I ask exactly what behind that door is so bad?"

Mask sighed. "You'll find out. Just... try not to freak out too badly, okay?"

"...Okay...?"

Mask pushed on the door, flooding the tunnel with blindingly white light and walked through, leading the group behind him. It took a few moments for their vision to come back, but when it did...

"Welcome to Termina, guys," Mask said, spreading his arms.

* * *

Nayru blinked.

"That's odd..." she muttered.

Din sidled up beside her and peered down at reality. "You're right. What are they doing there?"

"I could have sworn they were scheduled for the Hyrule/Lorule section on history," Nayru said, frowning and reaching for her clipboard. "They just skipped two entire eras of Hryule's past."

Farore spoke up then, saying, "It's collective desire."

Her sister glanced at her. "Care to elaborate on that?"

Farore nodded. "Essentially, this adventure has garnered the attention of multiple higher beings, of the species that our creator belongs to."

"Changeling's people?"

"Exactly. Now, as higher beings, they have the subtle ability to influence our universe through their wants and desires. And, for some reason, a lot of them _really_ wanted to see Termina next."

Din rolled her eyes. "Of _course_ they did. Impatient lot, aren't they?"

"Din, that's rude," Nayru admonished. "Yes, it may have thrown a few things out of position, but it's nothing we can't fix. We _are_ the goddesses, after all."

"I'm beginning to feel like we're more of a clean-up crew," Din grumbled.

* * *

It was an entire settlement.

It was literally an entire town. Full of people. There was light shining down, just like a sun would, and there were houses, and shops, and even a post office.

"What the _HECK_ is all this doing inside a tree?!" Realm gasped.

"Not exactly," Mask said, pointing behind them. The group turned around to see a clock tower with a set of large double doors in it's base. They looked tightly locked.

"That's where we came from," Mask finished.

"But... it was a tree," Vio said slowly. He was clearly confused. "This tower isn't even attached to anything, how... how did we _get_ here?"

"The less you think about it," Mask told him, "the better you cope. Termina is one of those places that messes with you."

Ocarina gaped at the surrounding passerby. "Was that _Malon?_"

Mask turned to see a small, red-haired girl dragging a taller, equally red-haired girl by the hand excitedly. "Oh, that's Romani. She runs a farm with her older sister."

"But- they look exactly-"

"The less you think about it," Mask interrrupted, "the better you cope."

"Alright, I get that this place is weird," Dusk said, looking around at the impossible town with the impossible people. "And I get that it messes with you. But it just seems like a slightly confusing village with perfectly normal, if somewhat familiar, people. What is it about this place that you hate so much?"

Mask sighed. "Remember Majora?"

"I think I can safely say we try not to," Speck said softly.

"Smart choice. And you remember when I mentioned a moon?"

The group nodded slowly, realization dawning on them.

"Just... look up," Mask said, pointing.

The Links looked up.

And promptly freaked out.

* * *

_Since when have you been able to possess people?! _Ocean Ganondorf demanded. Bellum squished and made some bubbling noises.

_What do you mean, always?! Why didn't you do it sooner, or better yet, TELL ME?!_

More bubbling.

_THAT'S NOT AN EXCUSE, THAT'S A DANCE TUNE!_

There was promptly a _crash_, followed by some possibly derisive bubbling noises and an enraged bellow. Demise debated the wisdom of asking what was happening, then decided against it for the sake of sanity. Instead, he opted for the louder approach.

"SHUT UP AND TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED!"

Bellum immediately started bubbling rapidly. Demise groaned. "Someone translate the squid..."

_They worked well together_, Ocean Ganondorf translated. _They separated themselves based on who was best suited for the terrain, which Bellum finds commendable. He also notes a possible weakness that may be put to good use. _

Demise smiled slowly. "Go on."

_During the fight, Bellum says he took control of the one the group calls Lore. They seem to regard him as... well, part of their leadership, anyway. This caused them to essentially drop everything else and focus solely on rescuing him. I can verify this, as nearly all the group I was fighting left to deal with it._

_You had control over a Link and didn't eliminate him?_ Twilight Ganondorf asked incredulously. _How can you call yourself a villain?_

Bellum exploded into angry bubbles.

_Ah... he suggests your mother was a... actually, I'm not going to translate that,_ Malladus decided.

_How dare you call my mother something unspeakable!_

There was another _crash_ and the sound of metal slicing the air, along with a lot of hurried squishing.

_Tag!_ Zant cried. _Great is my god, that he may be It!_

Twilight Ganondorf growled furiously, as if he were unable to decide whom to target.

"All of you, shut it!" Demise said suddenly.

_We're in your head. The only one who can hear us is you,_ Original Ganon pointed out.

Demise ground his teeth. "It's a_habit._ Now stop talking to me so I can listen, I thought I heard voices...

_Other than ours?_

Demise snarled silently, but decided not to answer. Because over the sounds in his head, he had distinctly heard three female voices, talking to each other.

Of course, they were silent now, because Demise had spoken aloud, but they had been there, he was certain of it. Just beyond those starstuff clouds...

Demise shot through the wispy material and came to a screeching halt. Someone _had _been here, no doubt about that. And recently too, very recently. But they had left-

And evidently left a note.

_'Demise'_, it read.

_'Sorry to miss you, but we had a prior engagement that was particularly pressing us for time. We hope you'll forgive us for skipping out on our little battle. Universe to save, and all that._

_'Hugs, _

_'Farore, Din, and Nayru.'_

Demise stared at the note incedulously. Inside his head, he could feel the equal confusion of the villains.

_Hugs?_ Malladus asked. _Why would they wish you Hugs?_

_They're being annoying, deliberately,_ Hyrule Ganon explained. _It is a taunt._

"This," Demise seethed, crushing the note in his hand and incinerating it, "is why I hate creation."

* * *

"That," Lore said, staring up at Majora's Moon and ignoring the panic surrounding him, "is the most messed up chunk of space-rock I have ever had the misfortune to meet. No wonder you didn't want to be here."

"You don't even know the half of it," Mask told him.

* * *

**SO many people requested this. So. Many. People. So now, here you are. Termina, two whole Hyrules ahead of schedule. I hope you're happy.**

**Honestly, I didn't mind. I've been looking forward to writing Termina, and now I just have a good excuse to do it early. All I need to do now is make sure the rest of the adventure doesn't have repercussions from this.**

**And believe it or not, the bit about newts is actually important. Until I wrote that part, I had the WORST Writer's Block you could imagine. Here's hoping you enjoyed it :)**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to Lozzietta, kazearashika, Lupanari, Shade the Dark Latios, Jibanyan with Komasan, HylianHeroLoZ, 13, Link Fangirl101, Cerberus0225 and ShadowLyrics1 for favoriting/following!**


	36. Chapter 35

**No disclaimer this time, we've got more important things! Somewhere along the way (and I'm really not sure how I missed this), we hit 200 reviews. Only problem is, we hit 200 about 99 reviews ago, so in about another chapter or so I'm gonna celebrate 300 reviews. I find that ironic, intensely depressing, and fantastically exciting all in one confusing mess.**

**Secondly, WE HIT 100 FOLLOWS! I have no idea who it was, BUT WE MADE IT! MILESTONE FOR THE WIN! So really, what we've got here is a post-200, pre-300 review party and at-100 follows party all combined into one, big explosion of streamers and internet cupcakes.**

**Couldn't have done it without you, guys. To quote myself, you make all the self-inflicted plot-holes worthwhile.**

* * *

"I think," Mask said, peering up at the sky and the monstrosity of a Moon, "we're on the First Day."

Blue frowned. "Did you just capitalize that?"

Green thwacked him on the head. "_Will you stop?!_"

Blue rubbed his head and shot his leader a cranky glare, but stayed silent. Mask decided to ignore this and continue what he was previously saying.

"As I was saying, First Day. So we've got about two days and twenty-three hours before the Moon gets close enough and the Clock Tower activates so we can get up there."

"You want to get _closer_ to that thing?" Speck squeaked.

"That's where Majora should be," Mask replied. "The sooner we get there, the sooner I can beat the crud out of it and the sooner we can leave."

"I like leaving," Speck agreed. "Leaving sounds good."

"Hang on. You're saying we've got three days to kill before we can do anything?" Gen asked.

Mask shrugged. "Pretty much. That's how time works here."

"So... what're we gonna do in the meantime?"

Mask frowned. "Well... there's that photography thing in the Southern Swamp, there should be a concert of sorts happening over in the Great Bay, Snowhead Mountain's covered in... well, snow, and there's all the activities that go with that, if we wear the right mask the Gibdos over in Ikana are having a breakdance competition we could participate in, there's a Deku butler who will race us, there's some sort of puppy racetrack in the Field... or maybe it was near the Ranch, I don't remember. Oh, there's also-"

He was abruptly (and impressively) bowled over by four ounces of furious fairy.

"LINK YOU COMPLETE _JERK_, **WHERE HAVE YOU ****_BEEN?!_**"

She looked like a normal fairy, really. Glowing ball, pair of wings, white. But her attitude-and her temper-somehow made her seem a thousand times more intimidating.

"I-HAVE-BEEN-LOOKING-FOR-YOU-_EVERYWHERE!_" The fairy screamed, punctuating each word with another impact to Mask's head. "DO-YOU-HAVE-_ANY-_IDEA-HOW-THAT-FELT?! **INFURIATING!**"

"I would have guessed painful," Mask wheezed. The fairy paused.

"Oh, am I hurting you?" She asked, sickly sweet. "WELL GOOD! YOU DESERVE IT! YOU _LEFT_ ME, YOU IDIOT!"

"...I think we should let them finish their reunion... from a very safe distance," Dusk decided.

* * *

"Everyone," Mask said, wincing. "This is Tatl. Tatl, this is everyone."

Everyone waved. Tatl, in a concerningly silent fashion, circled around the group and gave off the inpression of intense scrutiny.

"Why are they dressed like you, Deku-Boy?"

Ocarina made a strangled laughing noise. "Deku-Boy?"

Tatl whirled on him. "Something you want to say about it?"

"...No..."

"Hmm," Tatl said, looking Ocarina up and down. Then-

"Why are you wearing tights? Those are women's clothes, what's wrong with you?"

Mask burst out laughing, earning him a glare from his younger-but-older self.

"Why is that funny?" Ocarina snapped.

"Admit it, we thought the exact same thing!" Mask snickered. "We just never bothered to change!"

Tatl bobbed, confused. "'We'?"

"That would be the other introduction," Mask said. "See, they're all me."

Tatl flickered in the fairy approximation of blinking. "I don't see, actually. Aside from Tights here-" she indicated Ocarina with a wing flick "-none of them really look all that much like you. That one's a redhead, for crying out loud!"

"I resemble that!" Lore retorted.

"No, they're all Link," Mask said, trying and failing to explain himself better. "They're just from different periods of time."

"No, _you're_ Link," Tatl said in a voice which clearly stated she thought Mask had lost it. "And I don't know what time periods you're talking about. Termina has always been Termina, nothing more."

Mask facepalmed. "You're not getting this. Look, remember when I told you I was from a place called Hryule?"

"I still say it's impossible, but go on," Tatl replied.

"Back in Hyrule, we have different time periods that signify different eras in Hyrule's history. These guys are from those different time periods."

Tatl flickered again. "Alright, say I believe in Hyrule. I still don't think these guys are your... what, duplicates? Clones?"

"Wrong universe," Blue corrected. "We can't use Double Team, that's the Po-"

He was promptly dogpiled by half the group. Tatl stared.

"...He's weird," She decided. Then she turned on the rest of the group and, in a rather imperious tone, said, "You in the hat!"

The Links glanced at each other and tried to figure out who she was talking to. Tatl made an exasperated noise.

"I can't exactly point, you know. The tall-ish one, with the eyes."

At that point, Dusk decided she was probably talking about him. Having spent most of his adventure being called a Blue-Eyed Beast and getting told he had the eyes of a wolf, being addressed as such wasn't that unusual for him. He cleared his throat awkwardly and said, "Uh, yeah?"

"Where are you from?"

"Well, in my time, Hyrule got invaded by an alternate dimension and started transforming into stuff called Twilight, capital T. I got turned into a wolf and had to reverse the Twilight to fix myself and Hyrule because this guy named Zant was-"

"Alright, geez!" Tatl interrupted. "Sorry I asked."

"Believe me now?" Mask questioned. Tatl gave him what was probably a glare if her natural glow hadn't been in the way.

"I'm reserving judgement on your sanity until I get proper clarification."

Mask opened his mouth, paused, then closed it, deciding that the argument was pointless. Then he remembered something and spoke up anyways.

"Exactly how long has it been since I 'vanished'?"

Tatl did the fairy approximation of a shrug. "Dunno, probably an hour at least. Maybe less."

Mask blinked. "I was gone for less than an hour and _this_ is how you react?"

Tatl sniffed indignantly. "I do _not_ appreciate being abandoned."

"I didn't abandon you!"

"Well how was I supposed to know? You just up and disappeared on me, what else was I going to think?"

Mask flailed his arms wildly. "Maybe I went to the bathroom! Maybe I went to do the world a favor and exterminate Great Fairies from existance! Maybe-"

"Nobody needs an hour to use the restroom," Tatl snorted. "Besides, you promised you would help save my brother! Why would you waste time on something so stupid when Tael could be in danger? Think of the important things!"

Realm cleared his throat. "Uh, guys?"

"I will!" Mask retorted, ignoring the interruption. "For example, Majora is _very_ important and we still haven't gotten rid of it yet! Remember that?"

"Well, _duh. _Kinda hard to forget, if you ask me."

"Guys..." Realm tried.

"So stop fixating on me and concentrate on the goal here!"

"I _am_ focused on the goal! Saving my little brother!"

"Seriously, I think we have a problem-" Realm began.

"It's a package deal!" Mask cried. "We stop Majora, save Clock Town, and get Tael back! And we fix some other stuff along the way!"

"So then why are you just _standing_ there and why aren't you working on a solution?!" Tatl shot back.

"SHADOW'S MISSING!" Realm bellowed, finally annoyed enough to use volume. The group stared, as did most of the Clock Town residents within earshot.

"Er... not to be unconcerned, but how do you know he's gone?" Dusk asked.

"Has anyone seen him since the fight back in Wind's Hyrule?"

Wind frowned. "Well, not really. He disappeared after Ganondorf went down, but that's just normal Shadow. I figured he'd meet up with us in the next one."

"It's strange how he always knows," Steam added thoughtfully.

"Then shouldn't he have popped up back in that forest, before we jumped down the hole?" Realm said.

The group considered this.

"Maybe, but how do we know he isn't somewhere in here?" Gen replied.

"I dunno, I just feel like we should have found him by now."

"He's Shadow," Sketch said. "We all know he runs on his own time by now. I say we give him a few hours or so, and if he still hasn't turned up, we go and look for him."

"...Sounds reasonable, actually," Lore decided.

"Who's Shadow?" Tatl asked irritably.

* * *

"Right, that's it. We're going to look for him," Gen declared, four hours of waiting later. "He may be a troll, and an annoying one at that, but he always checks in before running off to who-knows-where."

"Thank you," Realm agreed.

"Not to rain on the parade," Speck said, "but where would we start? If Termina is anything like Hyrule... we've got a lot of ground to cover."

"Okay, look," Mask said. "I know a guy we can ask about Shadow. I don't know how he does it, but I swear this guy knows everything. Just... fair warning, he's a bit... off."

"Seriously, who the heck is Shadow?!" Tatl demanded. Everyone ignored her.

"Would we know him?" Lore asked. He prided himself on being a bit off and made it a point to meet the others like him.

"Just Ocarina, probably," Mask replied. "He calls himself the Happy Mask Salesman."

* * *

For some odd reason, the Happy Mask Salesman lived inside of the Clock Tower/Tree thing, in a side room which, for some other odd reason, seemed to solely house a massively sized and ornate piano/organ thing.

The Salesman himself was a whole other level of odd.

"Hello again," the Salesman greeted, eyes squinted, mouth smiling, and completely unsurprised at the multitude of Links in his room. "Oh my... you seem to have met a more interesting fate this time, haven't you?"

He never stopped smiling. Ever.

"**Please tell us someone other than us is seriously creeped out by this man,**" The Four whispered to the group.

"You're telling me," Speck whispered back.

Mask swallowed. "You could say that," he replied to the Salesman. "I was actually hoping you could help me again..."

The Salesman squinted more. "Hmm... you've lost something. Or rather... some_one_, yes?"

"Er... yeah. His name's Shadow, we were wondering if you've seen him around...?"

The Salesman turned and walked back a few paces to his piano, where he stroked the wood of the lid. "I see many people from many places. Which was one your friend? Well, that I cannot say, not without a better description. 'His name is Shadow' does not give me very much to work with, you see."

"He looks like me," Dusk said, stepping forward. "Only he's all dark colored, like he's made of it, and his eyes glow red."

"Ahh... him. Yes, I did see that one, oh, hours ago by now. He seemed... _interesting._" The Salesman sat down at his intrument and began to softly play a slow, somewhat sad song. "He had no interest in my masks... such a sad, broken creature he must be..."

"Uh... Regardless of his mental state, we really need to find him," Mask prompted. "Do you know where he went?"

"Oh yes," the Salesman replied. He leaned low over the piano and began swaying with the music, caressing the keys almost lovingly. The Links shuffled uncomfortably as they waited for him to continue.

When he didn't, Mask decided to prompt again.

"Where did he go?"

The Salesman abruptly stopped playing, cutting the song off on a sharp note that echoed in a disconcerting manner. The Links shivered involuntarily.

"He went... elsewhere."

"Define elsewhere," Ocarina requested. He then decided talking was a mistake as the Happy Mask Salesman zeroed in on him as though taking a kill shot.

"Oh, now this _is_ interesting," the Salesman said through his glued-on grin. "You... you have yet to meet the terrible fate, while this one..." He turned to Mask with the same intensity. "...This one already has. My my, you have been _busy._" He somehow managed to widen his smile even more. "_Very _busy."

"Answer my-er, his question, please," Mask said, trying and failing to avoid the Salesman's squinted eyes. The Salesman drooped, disappointed for some reason, but never lost his smile while doing so.

Then he recovered himself and said, "Elsewhere is difficult to describe... after all, it is anywhere but here. But your darkly colored friend seemed to have a somewhat... specific destination in mind. He said it was _calling_ him."

"Did he say what?"

The Salesman shrugged. "I thought it rude to ask. He had his business with his _calling_, and I have my business with my lovely masks. But I am still missing my _precious item... _have you retrieved it yet?"

"I've almost got it," Mask replied, ignoring the now confused faces of his friends and flapping his hand in a 'I'll explain later' gesture. "But... I do have one more question for you."

"By all means, ask away," the Salesman said, still grinning. "Questions are the spice of life, after all."

Mask inhaled deeply. "Majora. Why did you-"

_"__DO NOT SPEAK IT'S NAME!" _The Salesman hissed, eyes suddenly and frighteningly open in a seemingly uncharacteristic display of fury. Most disconcerting of all, was that he was still smiling. It was as if his mouth was permanently frozen in that shape, and it made him all the more unnerving.

Then, just as suddenly, the Salesman calmed down and was abruptly normal again... well, normal for him, anyway. The odd thing was that there was no movement in between anger and normality, he simply _jumped_ from one emotion to the next like he was switching frames in a picture.

"Forgive my outburst, but in this place, in Termina, names hold a... special power. To refer to the Mask in that way can cause... terrible fates. Terrible... fates."

Tatl decided that hiding behind the Links seemed like a very good option right then.

"But, that one time when _you_ told me it's name-" Mask started.

"As I said," the Salesman interrupted, "names have power here. To know your enemy, you must first know it's name. A necessary risk, and one that I took knowingly. You would do well to be more careful in the future."

Mask nodded slowly, not quite understanding but also not really wanting to continue the conversation any longer than necessary. "Then... thanks, I think, for your help."

"Believe in your strengths," the Salesman called after the group as they left. "Where you are going, and what you will do... you will need all of them."

* * *

The entire group gave a sigh of relief as the doors of the Clock Tower closed behind them again.

"That man, right there," Blue said, "was creepier than Zant, I swear."

"Rhyme," Red giggled. Blue sent him a good-natured glare.

"And I thought Lore was a redhead," Steam quipped. "He just out-gingered you. Effortlessly."

Lore pouted.

"Okay, he was _not_ like that in Hryule," Ocarina said. "Either I was just really oblivious at the time, or he got seriously messed up between now and then."

"Was he even helpful?" Realm asked. "I feel like we just went there to get creeped out or something."

Mask sighed. "Well, I would agree with you, if not for the fact that he _was_ a little helpful. He did see Shadow, and he did give us a clue. He said Shadow was being _called_ somewhere, remember?"

"Yes," Gen agreed. "But you're the only one who knows your way around. What's here that Shadow would be drawn to?"

Mask counted on his fingers for a moment, muttered under his breath, then smiled. "Who's up for a trip to a ghost zone?"

Nobody raised their hands.

"We're going to Ikana Valley," Mask sighed. "There's only a few ghosts there at the most and most of them are underneath the gravestones."

Somehow this failed to make anyone feel better about it.

"The main problem we're going to have are the Gibdos," Mask continued, frowning. "We're going to need Blue Potion, Bombs, Magic Beans, Deku Nuts, Bugs, Milk, Fish in a Bottle, Spring Water, Hot Water, and a Big Poe. Any questions?"

"...Fish in a Bottle?" Lore asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't know why they want it, they just do. Any _other _questions?"

"I can take care of the Poe," Dusk said, hand raised.

"That wasn't a question..." Mask muttered. "But okay!"

"I've got one," Wind said. "Are you sure Shadow would be drawn to a place like Ikana?"

"Taking into account the natural creepiness of Termina, Ikana is by far the most creepy of the lot," Mask said. "At least, it's the creepiest thing within range, I personally think the Moon tops the charts in that category."

There was a lot of muttered assents at that statement.

"Now, Shadow has always struck me as the kind of person who enjoys things that are creepy and disturbing, agreed?"

"Agreed," the Links chorused.

"So it makes sense that that's what he'd be drawn to. Therefore, Ikana Valley seems to be the best choice. Make sense?"

"Yeah, it makes sense," Wind said. "I just wanted to be sure, is all."

"Good. Now, who here is good at fishing? We're gonna need at least two that are small enough to fit through a bottle neck."

* * *

"Oh," Mask said, staring at the hole in the wall next to the large Castle Gate. "Yeah, I kinda forgot about that. My bad."

"You forgot about the shortcut?" Dusk growled-literally. His wolf was showing through.

"It's inconspicuous!" Mask protested.

"I sat for _three hours_ trying to catch a small enough fish and _you're_ telling me you forgot because it's INCONSPICUOUS?"

"...Pretty much, yep."

Dusk, who had been looming larger and larger over Mask during this conversation, abruptly collapsed back to his normal (but still taller) size. "Just... try and remember next time okay?"

He walked off, muttering crankily to himself about time management and the difficulty of trapping a Poe.

"So, turns out we won't actually be needing any of that stuff I mentioned," Mask said, turning to the rest of the group. Gen, laden down with multiple jars of various items and liquids, dropped his burden with a grunt, which was promptly followed by a _crash_. Three Bugs and a multitude of Deku Nuts made their escape in various directions.

The Deku Nuts didn't get very far, though.

"Aw, dangit," Gen complained. "I _liked_ that bottle..."

"Then why'd you drop it?"

"It was heavy!"

"Well you were doing fine until just then..."

"Psychology of the mind," Gen explained. "Until I realized it was pointless to carry it, I didn't think it was all that heavy. Once it became pointless, then there was no reason to hold it. So I didn't."

"Guys, c'mon," Green said, successfully distracting the argument. "We're still looking for Shadow, remember?"

"He wasn't under the graves, in the Music House, or just wandering about, so that leaves the tunnel and the Castle, right?" Vio added. "That's what you said."

"That is what I said," Mask agreed. "Follow the not-leader, everyone."

With that, he ducked into the tunnel.

"**Not-leader?**"

"He's not Lore or Gen," Wind explained to the Four. "Therefore, he's not the leader. And he said so."

"**...Oh-kay...**"

"I honestly don't know why you're confused," Lore said as he pushed past into the tunnel. "I thought we all established our lack of sanity ages ago."

* * *

The Castle of Ikana was large, cold, stony, and had a distinct lack of Shadow in it.

On the bright side (which turned out to be literal due to Mirror Shields), the King was pleased to see Mask again. He considered the breaking of a curse to be akin to owing one's life... afterlife. Something along those lines.

On the dark side, he hadn't seen Shadow either.

"Why is he a floating head?" Steam asked in a hushed tone.

"Why can you perform a summons by saying 'I Like Trains'?" Gen whispered back. "Life is weird. You just gotta go with it."

"You _people_ are weird," Tatl muttered.

_"__Regrettably I have not seen this person of which you speak,"_ the King said in his echoey voice. _"__And I can assure you that no one has entered the Stone Tower, as to do so without my knowledge is an impossibility. I apologize for my inability to provide you with the aid you seek."_

"That's okay," Mask said. "We just appreciate you taking the time to help. If you don't mind me asking, have you heard anything that might clue us in?"

_"__There is a darkness that gathers in the center of this land,"_ the King intoned hollowly. _"__A great celestial body of untold evil descends to wreak havoc upon the lives of the living."_

"Er... I kinda knew that already..."

_"__Have you tried looking there?"_

"First place we looked, actually," Mask replied. "Except we couldn't reach the actual Moon, that won't be feasible until the Thir- never mind."

_"__That is all I know..."_ the King droned. _"__May you have success in finding your friend."_

"Thanks for your time," Mask said, giving a little bow. Ocarina elbowed him in a nonverbal question, to which he received a "What? He _is_ a King, you know."

* * *

"He talked funny," Blue decided once the group was back outside in the main area of Ikana. "And he was kinda repetitive. Like when he said 'the lives of the living'. Of course we've got lives, we're living!"

"**He called Shadow our friend****_,_**" the Four noted. "**_Is_**** he our friend?**"

"Can't really call him our enemy," Wind replied. "Not with the way he hangs around and spends his time not attacking us."

"And we still haven't found him," Dusk sighed. "I feel like we just wasted this entire day on things that were more creepy than they were helpful."

"We did what?" Mask said, blinking. He peered up at the sky and winced. "Oh... my bad. We should head back to Clock Town. There's a few places that you don't wanna be at night and Ikana is one of them."

The group started walking. Slowly because it really was rather dark and they couldn't entirely see where they were going. A fact which was showcased rather well when Realm tripped over... something, and faceplanted spectacularly into the dirt.

"Ow..." he groaned. Gen swooped down and picked up his friend by the arms.

"Come on, you," he said. "The last thing we need is you getting lost in a haunted graveyard in the dark."

Tatl blinked.

* * *

Shadow, by general rule and natural inclination, was usually fond of the dark. One, it concealed him marvelously and made for excellent stealth attacks that scared the pants off his targets. Two, the darker it was, the stronger he tended to be. It was a point of annoyance to him that the Links almost always traveled, fought, and generally did stuff by day, and rested by night, but he was (grudgingly) learning to live with it.

Three, it was less painful than sunlight. There was a reason Shadow didn't openly travel with the rest of the group, and that was because it stung. He supposed he could buy *coughstealcough* a hooded cape or something, but that seemed far too flashy and... _colorful_. Maybe he could dye it black. That might work.

The point was, Shadow enjoyed darkness. Which was why it was such a novel situation when he found himself wishing it wasn't quite so dark in here.

**_You are different._**

Shadow glared at the seemingly empty room. "What was your first clue, my glowy red eyes or my sparkling personality?"

**_You hold a darkness inside. And yet... you follow _****them****_. Why?_**

"I don't follow anyone," Shadow snarled. "They just happen to be a convenient means to reaching my goal. Which, unless I'm very much mistaken, you are not a part of, so I'd appreciate it if you'd let me go now."

**_I think not. You intrigue me, little Shadow. You could be so much more if you only let me show you..._**

"Whatever it is you're offering, I'm _not_ interested!" Shadow spat. "If I'm going to get stronger, it's because _I'm_ going to do it myself! I most certainly will _not _let some _thing_ control my every move. I got enough of that from Ganondorf."

A chuckle echoed across the room. **_Ah, so that is what you are. One of them mentioned you, once... I may not have paid the best attention at the time. I was discovering the joys of burning sea life. But you were spoken of. Briefly._**

"...What?" Shadow asked, confused. "Sea life? What do you-"

His eyes got every so slightly larger as a thought ocurred to him. "Wait. Burning... and sea life... you mean Bellum?"

**_Is that his name? I admit, I never bothered to learn, he always seemed so... insignificant._**

"Ah... crud," Shadow decided. "You wouldn't happen to be Majora, would you?"

Somewhere in the darkness, the thing chuckled again.

**_You are smart. Good. You will do nicely._**

"Listen here, mask" Shadow growled. "One thing I absolutely refuse to be is someone else's puppet. You can say whatever you want, I will _never_ let you own me!"

**_Own you? _**Majora sounded genuinely surprised. **_Owning someone is so... simple. I prefer possession. Much more screaming from the host that way, it's really rather intoxicating. _**

Suddenly, Shadow thought, sunlight seemed so much more appealing. Maybe he really ought to look into that cape.

* * *

**Wow, this took a turn for the darker. I blame Termina, this place is ****_so_**** hard to write while keeping a good sense of humor.**

**Basically, this is me trying to hold a plot while keeping to the confines of the Three Day cycle. The sidequests just seemed so... boring. The whole thing with Kafei is far too overdone, and all the others just weren't as important, so this is what I came up with instead.**

**Here's hoping I didn't just depress anyone.**

**On a completely unrelated and entirely self-promotional side-note, I have written a oneshot. In my usual bad entitling style, I have called it _To Each His Own._ Anyone who remembers that idea I had a while back about Galactus and Unicron having lunch, well, I finally got around to putting it in words. Check it out, if you want. I think it's worth looking at, but then again, I wrote it. I'm supposed to feel that way.**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

**If you see any typos, let me know!**

* * *

**Thanks to Black Silverclaw, killroy777, DarkRaptor4, GrandNinjaMasterRen, Skyforged, and Naminamae for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**Kareemcodling519: ...Okay... I'm not entirely sure what you're mad about, but I think I got the jist. First, I never said Demise had the Triforce of Power. What I said was that some of his "Incarnation of my Hatred" people were Bearers of the Triforce. Demise does not have it himself. Second... I take it you want the goddesses to be more involved the way a deity would be? It's true that I normally use them for humor... I guess I'm taking the 'Watch But Do Not Interfere' rule a little too far. Thanks for the tip on that. Thirdly... I know Steam has nothing to do with the Triforce. If I said he did, then that was a mistake and I apologize. And you could have gotten your point across entirely fine without the curse words, using the f-bomb was entirely unnecessary. And I'm also not sure why you mentioned Sonic the Hedgehog...? But at least I'm doing something right, because you're apparently still following. Thank you!**

**PsycoFangirl: The rant was actually based off the entries in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I probably let that stuff influence me far too much, but eh. I find it hilarious. **

**LordofGaming: I might use one of those Realm-gets-lost locations... sounds sufficiently amusing.**

**Guest: My thinking was, that since Ganon was technically possessing/controlling Vaati at that point in time, their holes would overlap and thus appear to be one singular hole.**


	37. Chapter 36

**NOW we've hit 300 reviews. Congratulations, Link Fangirl101, for being it!**

* * *

**(Please don't hurt me...)**

**Why would I do that? You were celebrating missed and future milestones, there's no need to get angry over a skipped disclaimer if that's the case.**

**(You're being surprisingly reasonable.)**

**Gotta keep you off balance somehow. Now... the author does not own the Legend of Zelda. In that world, the argument over Wind Waker vs. Twilight Princess styles would be non-existent.**

**(That would be nice... really, they're both fantastic worlds. I fail to see why the fanbase should be divided.)**

**That's because otherwise you would seem like normal, sane people.**

**(...Touch****é.)**

* * *

Using the ridiculous amount of rupees Mask had stashed with a blind bank-teller, and also the contents of a random roof chest, the group was able to rent the one empty room at Anju's hotel for the First Night. As the smallest Links, Speck, Wind, the Four, Red, Green, Vio, and Blue ended up sprawled in various odd positions on top of the sole bed in the room. On the bright side, it was a King size.

The rest of the group, utilizing their well-honed adventuring skills, crashed on the floor. Lore, having both the most experience and the largest inventory, pulled out multiple blankets and passed them around, which the Links used for either their intended use, or wadded them up for pillows.

And Tatl... well, she had her own opinions on where was appropriate for a lady to sleep, regardless of the fact that said lady was a fairy. She had her own room. She had also gotten Mask to pay for it.

Thus, aside from the obviously somewhat cramped conditions, the group spent the night in relative comfort.

Compared to most of their previous nights, anyways.

* * *

When morning came, the Links all trooped out of the room in the manner in which clowns troop out of a very small car. That is, it was hard to believe all those individuals had managed to fit inside that one small space, which was nicely consolidated by Anju's bemused expression as she watched them.

"That wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it might be," Mask decided. "There was more room between us than I calculated."

"The reason you didn't think it was bad was because _you_ didn't have to sleep next to the synchronized chainsaws over here," Blue complained, jerking his thumb at the Four. Said Link(s) blinked in confusion.

"**...Chainsaws?**"

"It means you snore," Blue explained slowly and pointedly.

"**We do not!**"

"Yes. You do."

"**We demand proof.**"

In response, Blue reached into his bag, pulled out a phonograph and wound up the little handle. The machine promptly began spewing what sounded like a rockfall mixed with a dying whale. The Four stared at it blankly.

"**When and why did you even... actually, that's not the point. How do we know that's us?**"

Blue set down the phonograph (which was still playing), reached into his bag again and produced a pictograph this time. He once again pressed a button and the device neatly printed several pictures, all of which contained the Four sound asleep, lying on their backs with their mouths wide open. Then, just to make absolutely clear what was happening, Blue began running through the pictures in time to the soundtrack provided by the phonograph.

The result clearly stated that the Four, did indeed, snore.

"**...Oh,**" they said, having not realized until this very moment. Then they frowned. "**Why did you take pictures to match your audio? For that matter, why did you even record audio? And where the heck did you ****_get_**** that stuff?**"

"I have my ways," Blue said with a shrug. He then handed the pictograph off to a marginally surprised Wind and said, "I borrowed that last night, by the way. You might want to get the shutter button looked at, it was sticking a little when I used it."

Wind opened his mouth, tried to say something, and failed. He settled for putting his pictograph away while giving Blue a disapproving glare instead.

"_Anyways,_" Mask said pointedly, "we've got two days left to find Shadow before the Moon crashes and I have to reset the loop. Ikana Valley clearly wasn't the right place to look, so this time I think we ought to head over to the Southern Swamp."

Tatl groaned. "Oh, not again..."

"Why would Shadow possibly be in a swamp?" Realm asked.

"Two words: the water is poison."

Realm blinked awkwardly. "You... do know that was four words, right?"

"No, that was two words in two sets," Mask explained with very flawed logic. "Four divided by two is two, two plus two is four, two times two etc., etc. Therefore, two words. Got it?"

"Not in the slightest," Realm said.

"Well, Termina's weird anyways. The point is, I think the Swamp is the next best place to look."

"Exactly how much water is there?" Sketch asked. "I can see Shadow appreciating toxic liquid, but the rest of us are a bit more... vulnerable. Also, I'd like to avoid swimming if I can help it."

"WAIT!" Lore bellowed suddenly, and pointed an imperial finger at Sketch. "You don't like water?"

"Not especially," Sketch admitted.

"And you didn't mention this once back in Wind's Hyrule?"

"We literally landed in an ocean and then did battle with a squid. There wasn't much I could do to avoid it, so there wasn't much point in complaining about it."

"But you can swim," Red pointed out. "Why do you know how to swim if you don't like water?"

"I didn't used to dislike it!" Sketch protested. "At least, not as much. You know how I can be a painting?"

Everyone nodded. Well, everyone except Tatl. She fairy-scowled and grumbled something about missing out.

"Well, it was originally supposed to be a curse. Turn the people into paintings, take away their mobility, so on and so forth. And Yuga, he really liked watercolors."

Vio made a realization sound and shook his head sympathetically. "You got wet as a painting."

Sketch nodded. "By the time I realized I was dripping off the wall, I'd nearly lost my entire left side. And I kinda freaked out."

"Understandable," Wind agreed.

"So... yeah. I don't really do water anymore," Sketch finished.

"Okay. That makes sense," Mask said. "Luckily, we can work with that. The Swamp's got some ridiculously large lily pads, you can hopscotch on those so you don't need to get wet. Well, everyone should hopscotch, the water's still poison regardless."

"And the Deku Scrubs are insane," Tatl added darkly. "Their King is an overprotective moron and the rest of them aren't much better."

"Okay, have you _met _Shadow?" Steam asked her.

"No," she said shortly.

"Oh. Right, that explains that. Trust me, he could make the Scrubs look so normal they'd be boring."

Tatl perked up considerably at the sound of this. "He seems fun."

* * *

"Does that Moon follow you everywhere you go?" Dusk asked, eyeing said celestial body distastefully. The group was currently en route to the Swamp, traipsing across the Fields in the direction Mask indicated.

"Unfortunately," Mask grumbled. "It's like one of those paintings with the eyes that follow you. Only twelve times more creepy... oh, no offense, Sketch."

"Oh, that's fine. It actually makes for a fantastic prank."

"That gives me an idea if you're up for it," Mask said. "How do you feel about seeing if your painting power translates while wearing a mask?"

Sketch grinned wickedly. "When the Zora painting stalks you... I like it."

He then abruptly tripped and fell flat on his face.

"Hidden rocks are evil," he decided, though his words were muffled by the dirt.

"Actually," Wind said, scooping the object out of the grass, "this is a sword. If I'm not mistaken, it's Realm's sword."

There was a moment of silence as everyone looked around for Realm.

"...He's lost again, isn't he."

The Four threw their hands up in simultaneous exasperation. "**We give up. He defies the laws of logic.**"

"I've got this," Dusk said pulling out his Curse Stone. A few seconds of anatomical confusion later and Dusk was sniffing at Realm's sword to get his scent.

_"__...Right, he went this way," _Dusk decided, and walked off with his nose to the ground.

* * *

Realm stared at the cow.

Then he looked up and stared at the hole.

Then he looked forward again and stared at the cow some more.

The cow mooed.

"...Where the heck did you come from?" Realm asked the cow. The cow declined to answer, instead stooping down to chew at the grass. The grass which was growing inside a cave. Underground. With no access to sunlight whatsoever.

Realm craned his head up again, examining the hole which he'd fallen through. He still wasn't entirely sure how, since there most certainly hadn't been a hole before he'd stepped there. Then again, most of the situations he got himself into seemed either incredibly unlikely or downright impossible.

"How am I supposed to get out?" he wondered, having noticed the hole was a good fifteen feet above his head.

The cow mooed. Realm glared at it.

"That's not helping, you know."

* * *

Dusk tracked Realm's scent across the fields through a bizarrely complicated set of turns, twists, and, for some reason, jumps, eventually ending underneath the length of a large, hollow fallen log. He stopped a few steps from a small dark hole in the ground and announced _"__This is where it stops."_

Red pulled Dusk's sword off his back and handed it to the currently-a-wolf while the rest of the group crowded around the opening.

"You think he's down there?" Ocarina asked as Dusk changed himself back.

"That's where his trail leads," he responded.

"Okay then... Realm?" Ocarina called into the hole.

A faint, echoey voice came back. "Yeah?"

"What are you doing down there?"

"Well clearly, I got lost," Realm snarked from below. "Does anyone have a rope? I'm a bit stuck."

"I've got one," Lore offered, digging into his bag.

There was a random moo from the hole, followed by Realm's "Will you stop that!?"

"Uh... this might sound strange, but does there happen to be a cow down there?" Steam asked.

"Yes."

Steam blinked. "...Huh."

"Got it!" Lore announced, brandishing his rope in midair with the strange levitation that all the Links seemed to possess. He then tossed one end down the hole, which tautened as Realm began to haul himself out.

"Thanks," he said once he reached the top, barely out of breath. "Something about that cow just... it's a very strange cow."

"Maybe we should rescue it too?" Speck asked, peering down at the bovine. It mooed at him.

"It can't climb the rope," Gen pointed out. "And it seems to be happy down there."

"There _is_ grass," Realm remembered, joining Speck in staring at the animal. "Despite there being no sun, wind, or any sort of water exposure whatsoever."

The cow blinked, slowly, then went back to grazing the impossible vegetation.

"So... moving on?" Green asked.

"Moving on," the group chorused.

"By the way, has anyone seen my sword?" Realm asked somewhat sheepishly. Wind, with a small grin, pulled said weapon off his back and handed it back to it's rightful owner. Realm flashed a grateful smile as he reattached it to himself.

"Hang on," Lore said suddenly, pointing at Realm. "Do you have your shield?"

Realm patted around his back for a moment, then nodded. "I only lost my sword and myself this time." He beamed at the group and exclaimed, "I'm improving!"

Ocarina groaned. "You just jinxed it, man. You just jinxed it."

* * *

"...You have got to be kidding me," Blue said, mouth slightly open. The smallish, squattish, greenish, and very, very strange man floating above them waved cheerfully.

"It's _Tingle_," Wind said incredulously. "How... What?"

"You've got one too?" Green asked.

"He sells me maps," Wind replied. "But he's... kinda odd..."

"Mine floats around dangling from a balloon and collects Force. He thinks that if he gets enough he'll become a real fairy... or something."

"Well, this one," Mask said, gesturing upwards, "also floats on a balloon, but I don't know what 'Force' is. If you shoot him down, you can buy a map from him. They're actually pretty good."

"I will admit he's a good mapmaker," Wind said. "But I'd honestly rather not meet another one."

Meanwhile, the rest of the group was muttering amongst themselves in mild confusion.

"Any idea who that is and why they're freaked?" Gen asked.

"I know a guy who looks like that," Speck said, "but he's not a mapmaker and instead of that 'Force' stuff he's obsessed with Kinstones. He thinks they will help him meet fairies."

"There's some statues in my Hyrule that have his face on them," Steam contributed.

"I know a Tingle," Lore added. "He actually did give me a map, but I only met him the one time..."

"So, what I'm hearing is a general consensus to _not_ meet this Tingle?" Gen clarified.

"_Din_, no," the group chorused.

Everyone left very quickly.

* * *

The Southern Swamp, like most things in Termina seemed to do, defied logic. For starters, the lily pads covering the water were the size of tables. The water, although granted it was poison, was violently violet and, oddly enough, exactly matched Vio's clothes. It was a matter of curiosity as to why the lily pads weren't affected by the water when everything else clearly was.

There was also the issue of the weight capacity of said lilies. Mask had forgotten that they only supported him while he was a Scrub, and that he was the only one who could _become_ said Scrub.

"Bloody incomplete instructions," Lore muttered darkly, taking another gulp from the bottled soup Gen had handed him. "You couldn't _possibly_ have remembered that detail _before_ I stepped on the pad, could you?"

"I said I was sorry..."

"'Sorry' doesn't change the fact that I have a spontaneous full body chemical burn."

"Okay, okay, point taken," Mask said with a wince. "So... ideas, anybody?"

"I can freeze it," Red offered. "Then we can walk across on the ice."

Lore took another swallow and frowned. "Isn't that my job?"

"You got to do it before, it's my turn now," Red told him petulantly. Lore shrugged.

"Theoretically, that'll work as long as you make it thick enough," Vio agreed. Red beamed and pulled out his Ice Rod (which conveniently doubled as a Fire Rod) and aimed it at the water. One white-blue flash later, the entire Swamp for a good hundred feet in any given direction was solid ice. Gen whistled.

"Nice job," Green complimented. Red blushed to match his clothing and led the way onto the ice.

"So, will this work?" He asked.

"Absolutely," Mask replied, grinning. "Now we can start looking."

"Speaking of which, did you have any ideas beyond 'Southern Swamp' as far as Shadow's location goes?" Steam asked.

"Nope. Basically we're just gonna wander around in a systematic fashion and hope we bump into him. Same thing we normally do, really."

"...True."

Red froze another section of the Swamp as they talked, and the Links kept on walking. And occasionally slipping, because they _were_ walking on ice. Balance doesn't exist on that stuff.

* * *

"Mask," Lore said very slowly and deliberately, "why are Koume and Kotake trying to sell me a guided photography tour?"

"They do that here," Mask said with a shrug. Lore took a deep, deep breath.

"You are aware that they've tried to kill me? Multiple times?"

"Actually, they've also tried to kill me a good bit," Ocarina added helpfully. "And by extension, Mask."

Mask smiled sheepishly.

"...Why are you okay with this?!"

"They don't actually do anything dangerous here!" Mask protested. "They're harmless tourist trap witches who make a living by giving naturalist tours! And actually, right now they're in a small recession because the poison water is bad for their business."

"...I still don't like it."

"Then let's leave. Clearly Shadow isn't in this bit anyways."

* * *

"This reminds me an awful lot of this place back in my Hyrule," Dusk decided, looking around at the surrounding woods. Which for some reason was a perfectly valid part of the Swamp, despite not having any water in it. "It's ridiculously confusing, impossibly identical, and you have to follow a really annoying guide creature to make any sense of it."

"-dark-colored guy with glowing red eyes, you seen anyone like that?" Mask said to the monkey.

"Mask and I... that is, I... well, Mask too... gah, _we_ used to live in a place like this," Ocarina told Dusk. "We thought we were Kokiri for a while... you would not _believe_ how confused I was when this happened to me." He gestured to his seventeen-year-old self.

"-no, not the Skull Kid," Mask sighed. "I already said he looked like us, and besides, Skull Kid doesn't even _have_ red eyes!"

The monkey, who was curiously fluent in English, frowned and chirped something in his high-pitched voice. Mask facepalmed.

"Oh, I can imagine," Dusk replied. "I got turned into a wolf, remember? Until I got the ability to control it- not now, Midna-yes, I know it was you, now shush!- until that happened I _hated_ it."

"-no, not a Deku Scrub!" Mask snapped. "They don't have red eyes either, nor do they look anything like us!"

The monkey chittered.

"...I _know_ I turn into a Deku Scrub. The guy we're looking for does not. He looks like a normal Hylian, but with a black color scheme and red eyes. Have. You. Seen. Anyone. Like. That?"

After a minute of careful contemplation, the monkey shook his head.

Mask sighed. "...Thank you for your help..."

"No luck?" Dusk asked as Mask trudged back to the group.

"I don't know why I bothered asking, those monkeys have bananas for brains..."

* * *

"This is the Palace of the Deku Kingdom! Only Deku Scrubs may enter!" spat an over-enthusiastic Deku Guard. Mask pulled out one of this Transformations masks and slapped it on his face, causing the Guards to trip over their flowers in surprise. "What strange power is this?!"

"Have you seen a Hylian with a dark color scheme and glowing red eyes?" the now Deku Scrub Mask questioned, completely ignoring the Guard's shock.

"...No... No we have not!" the other Guard declared, recovering his wits. "We only allow Deku Scrubs into the Palace and we have most certainly not allowed a Hylian entrance! You insult us, strange young Deku Wizard!"

"I'm not a-" Mask began, then stopped himself. "I mean... yeah, sure, Deku Wizard. You're absolutely sure?"

"What do you take us for?" the Guard hooted angrily. "We are not some insufficient beginner security! We are the best of the best, the Guards Supreme, the ultimate pinnacle of safety! You not only insult us, you trample our honorable reputation and spit on it! Why, I have half a mind to-"

"Thankyouforyourtime!" Mask said hurriedly, shooing the group back onto the frozen Swamp water. The Guards waved their fronds threateningly as the Links left and went back to glaring at anything non-Deku.

"They were cheerful," Gen said dryly. Mask pulled the Deku Transformation off his face and stowed it back in his bag.

"At the very least, we know he's not in there," he replied. "Except for maybe..."

* * *

"...the back way," Mask finished. "I forgot about this part... Unfortunately for you guys, you need to be a Deku Scrub to cross all that. I'll meet you back here in about fifteen minutes."

* * *

It was a very harassed-looking Mask who came back eighteen minutes later.

"He _definitely_ wasn't in there," he said.

"What happened to you?" Sketch asked. Mask twitched.

"Let's just say the Deku King is a little... eccentric."

* * *

"Welp, this is the last place I can think to look," Mask said. "This is Woodfall, guys. But... Shadow wouldn't be able to get inside the actual Temple without playing a specific song. And I don't think he even has an instrument. Dusk?"

"Yeah?"

"He's copying you right now, how musically inclined are you?"

"Well..." Dusk thought for a moment. "I'm pretty good with a grass stem, and you all know I can sing a bit. And I have a musical necklace, but I can only play the one song on it. That's about it, really."

"And none of those would open the Temple..." Mask mused. In the following silence, Red refreshed the ice pad they were standing on with a faint _whuomp_.

"So what you're saying is," Lore summarized, "is that Shadow isn't here either."

Mask shook his head despondantly.

"Right," Lore said, heaving a sigh. "We've pretty much spent all day here and there isn't much point in sticking around any longer. We should head back to Clock Town and see if we can rent that room at Anju's again."

"I'll visit the banker," Mask said. And the group walked back the way they came.

* * *

Back inside the rented room, the Links were in a bit of a slump. While it was true that none of them particularly knew Shadow well and liked him even less, he was still a Link. Albeit through a complicated set of darkly magical circumstances, but still. His original name had been Dark Link, after all.

And that being said, this was the first time one of their own had seriously been lost.

"I know we don't spend a lot of time with him," Speck said, "but for some reason... I kinda miss him."

He received a lot of strange looks at that. At least, until Red spoke up.

"He's cranky, but the fact that he's been around up 'til now shows he cares, I think."

This was a fairly new revelation to most of the group. But when they thought about it... for a very long time and with a few loopholes allowed... it made moderate sense.

"I do enjoy his sarcasm," Lore admitted.

"You enjoy everybody's sarcasm," Gen told him.

"Well yes, but his is especially witty and biting."

"And he is pretty good with a sword," Dusk added. "Overly violent, yes. Reckless, completely. But... helpful."

"He's kinda like... that cousin you have, who you don't particularly like, but you care about anyway because they're family," Wind decided.

There was a general consensus at that.

"**We hope he's okay...**" the Four said softly.

Lore snorted. "Heck, are you kidding? He's _Shadow_. If there's anyone I know who can take care of himself, it's that guy."

"Except for the fact that he's missing," Sketch pointed out quietly.

"...Yeah."

"Alright, look," Mask said. "Tomorrow's the Third Day. We can spend the day looking in some other places, and then we'll get our real opportunity when the Moon comes into range."

"Wait wait wait," Steam interrupted. "You think Shadow might be on the Moon? That creepypasta nightmare- oh I see your point."

"_In_ the Moon, technically," Mask replied. "But... yeah, that's my last idea aside from a few places we're gonna look in tomorrow. So I vote, we sleep now. All in favor?"

It was then agreed that sleep was an excellent idea.

And about two hours later, Blue was thanking the goddesses that he'd remembered to buy earplugs earlier that day.

* * *

**I didn't pop in on Shadow, because I'm practicing my cliffhangers and my plot-related suspense. Also, I felt like it. *Laughs evilly***

**The Links had some fun in the Swamp. Just shenanigans, really, followed by a surprisingly (for me, anyway) solemn scene. With what I had going on, I felt it was needed.**

**And I hope you all enjoyed the cow :)**

**One more thing. I start school again next week, so updates may get a little… unpredictable. Bear with me, I want to continue this thing just as much as you guys. All I'm asking for is your patience on this while I settle into the school rhythm again.**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling.**

* * *

**Thanks to Daydragon12, KaguTheGreat, FierceOni, Stygian Gallade Knight, Tymaporer, CrystalClearCourier, I Am A Toad, and Andrea231 for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**Talon: I can't tell if you're annoyed at my hinted pairing for Dusk or my unfortunate lack of ability to make you laugh. But if you're only on Chapter 31 at the moment, I can always hope my future wit will satisfy you. I'll take a look at my older humor and see if I can replicate it for my newer chapters.**

**LuckyLugia: I just REALLY didn't want to deal with yet another set of Four Sword heroes, it was hard enough figuring out how to differentiate between the Four and Red, Blue, Vio, and Green. Ravio... well, I'm working on that.**

**And... wow. I mean... WOW. Just... ****_wow. _****I really don't have a better word... Wow. ****_Thank You._**


	38. Chapter 37

**(Well. It's been a while, hasn't it.)**

**I refuse to speak to you.**

**(Oh, come on! I left an author's note about it, surely that was fair warning!)**

**Oh, it was. I just didn't like it.**

**(...Great. The Universe has jealousy issues.)**

**Why did you humans even invent this 'school' anyways? As far as I can tell, it only makes you more miserable than you already are.**

**(That, Universe, is one of life's greatest mysteries. Now don't you have a disclaimer to get to?)**

**Hmph... The author does not own the Legend of Zelda. If this were the case, the Zelda cartoon would be immediately erased from existence.**

**(We did get some good memes out of it though.)**

* * *

Dawn of the Third Day. It was considerably less enthusiastically received than the beginnings of the previous two days. Most of it was because of the obvious, that being Shadow. The rest of it was because Mask was _not_ looking forward to the Moon.

Well, nobody looked forward to the Moon. Mask in particular just looked forward to it the least. That thing was practically an Eldritch Abomination.

Which, of course, was exactly why the group thought the Moon was the most logical place for Shadow to be.

There was a sharp contrast in the Town from the first day the Links had arrived. Most of the villagers, having common sense, had looked at the impending death by celestial body and promptly decided to be somewhere else. Everyone who was still around was either in denial, or had nowhere else to go. Or they were Muto, who quite frankly was an over-pompous idiot who wouldn't notice danger if it bit him on the nose.

And then there were the Links, who fell into none of the above categories.

"It's settled, we're idiots," Steam decided. "We are risking our lives and sanity for one guy who may or may not have tried to kill us in the past. What is _wrong_ with us?"

"We're addicted to heroism and the warm fuzzy feeling from helping people," Dusk said flatly.

"Oh, yeah..."

Tatl, to the best of her fairy ability, facepalmed.

"Guys, focus," Mask chided. "We've got roughly twenty-four hours or so until the Moon gets in range. I've got one more place I can think of to look for Shadow in, and then we should probably buy some potions and things just in case."

Gen made an "mph" noise and began rummaging through his bag, which produced a lot of _clink_ing noises. Then he looked up and asked, "How many potions are we talking here? And why?"

Mask thought for a moment, counting his rupees. "Hopefully, one for each of us."

Gen frowned. "That doesn't answer why."

"At every other Hyrule we've been in, we've ended up fighting someone," Mask said. "This, technically, is Ocarina and I's Hyrule. The problem is that this is Termina. So it follows that, if we're going to fight someone, it'll most likely be Majora."

The group gave an involuntary shudder.

"The one who likes to burn things?" Red asked hesitantly.

"Isn't that the one you're afraid of?" Wind questioned.

"I have a very good reason to be nervous around that thing," Mask protested. "It thinks torture is fun and breaking people is even better. There's a reason it's dropping a Moon on everything, you know."

Gen grunted again and resumed his rummaging, counting under his breath. "...I should have enough room once I do some reorganizing in here. Gimme about twenty minutes and I'll be good to go."

"You take this whole 'medic' thing really seriously," Green observed as Gen sat down and began categorizing.

"Well, someone's got to do it," Gen replied, stacking soup-filled bottles on top of one another. "Besides, now I have a perfectly valid reason for my bottle collection."

* * *

"...and done!" Gen announced, packing away his last bottle. "And with two-point-four-three minutes to spare. I am _good._"

"Links and Fairy, the packer extraordinaire," Lore said with a smirk. Gen swatted his co-leader upside the head in response, rolling his eyes. Which, naturally, Lore took as a challenge, which led to a somewhat undignified game of Catch-the-Hat.

Dusk twitched and took over. "You mentioned a place to look?" he prompted Mask, solidly ignoring the _whack_ noises coming from behind him.

"Great Bay," Mask replied. "There's pirates and more poisonous water, but not quite as bad."

"Better or worse than Lake Erie?" Blue asked. Mask promptly stepped three feet to the left as half the group dogpiled the unfortunate aqua-clothed Link.

"Probably Maumee Bay level," he answered. "There's also some depression, questionably played music, and death. Oh, and a good bit of grief."

"Sounds like Shadow's kind of place," Dusk agreed with a grimace.

"Well then," Lore said, popping up between the two with his hat skewed off center and his hair in complete disarray. "I'd call that a plan. Break!"

"When and where did you come from!?"

* * *

"There is something wrong with this beach," Wind decided, glancing around at the barren sand.

"Oh yeah, you would know, wouldn't you?" Mask realized. "I guess living on an island comes in handy once in a while."

Wind sent a good-natured eye-roll his way. "It just feels so... cold. Empty. Beaches should be full of life, sound, color. This is just..."

"Like someone died here."

Wind tilted his head. "Well... kinda. I guess that's as good a way to put it as anything else."

Mask stared down at the sand. Wind stared at him.

"Oh Din, you were serious."

Mask pulled out his Zora... mask. "You remember how I said there are souls in these things?"

The group nodded.

"Where do you think the souls came from?"

Dusk blinked. "So you're telling us a Zora, an aquatic being, died at a beach. And that was him."

"Technically, I think the pirates killed him, but that about sums it up."

"Which completely explains your protectiveness when Linebeck showed interest," Wind said. "And your other masks are like that too?"

"Just these," Mask said, pulling out his Deku and Goron... masks, to match. "So, that's why I thought this would be a good place to look. Lots of depressing things, Shadow would love it."

"Got that right," Sketch muttered.

"Well, he's clearly not on this beach," Steam said, looking at the barren landscape. "Unless he'd doing a _fantastic_ job at hiding, and, let's face it, I don't think he's quite _that_ inconspicuous."

"It's hard to hide a dark person on a white beach," Ocarina agreed. "Where to next?"

"First," Mask said with a somewhat disturbing grin, "we're gonna need some boats."

Almost as one, the group turned to look at the collection of canoes lying on the beach. And gulped. With the exception of Wind, of course, because boats were practically his second home.

"Dibs on whichever boat Wind's in," Steam said immediately.

* * *

"Stroke on starboard," Wind advised as he dipped his paddle in the water and pulled. The rest of the Links in the boat, being Steam, Realm, and the Four, looked at each other in confusion.

"**Starboard?**" the Four asked.

"Don't look at me," Steam replied. "I have absolutely no idea."

"It means 'right'," Wind elaborated, having heard the comments. There was a collective "ohhh" from the rest of the boat.

"Why didn't you say so?" Realm asked.

In another boat, which contained Lore, Sketch, Green, Blue, Vio, and Red, there was a different sort of problem.

"I hate everything," Sketch said, eyeing the water below him with massive apprehension. Behind him, Blue, Green, and Vio had piled themselves on top of Lore to keep him from tipping the boat over.

"We're only in nine inches of water, it'd be hilarious!" Lore protested, squirming.

"It would also be incredibly inconsiderate and manipulative," Vio snapped. "He _trusted_ us with his fear of water, _why_ would you prank him with it? That'd be like me pranking you with... um..."

"The Windfish," Blue supplied. Lore paused.

"...I do hate that whale," he said thoughtfully. "But can you imagine my face? It'd be _legendary!_"

"You are _not_ tipping this boat!" Green ordered.

The last boat held Mask, Gen, Ocarina, Dusk, and Speck, who were watching the first two with a mixture of confusion and relief that they weren't on them.

"That," Gen said, pointing to the second boat where Red had joined the restricting dogpile, "is why I didn't want to row with him."

"What does 'thirty-seven degrees to port' mean?" Speck asked as the first boat drifted haphazardly by, accompanied by the sound of loud and confused arguing.

"Well, port means left," Dusk said. "And I assume the other part was how much left they needed to go... only problem is none of the other guys besides Wind have ever sailed before. And since it's second nature to him, he probably doesn't even realize how confusing he's being."

Conveniently, Wind's voice drifted over at that exact moment. "Guys, you're crabbing! You have to paddle crisply!"

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!" Steam bellowed.

"**How can we be crabbing without a net?**" the Four asked, clearly lost.

"Wait, we're fishing? I thought we were looking for Shadow," Realm said. "I don't even _like_ crabs, can we hunt grouper instead?"

Wind began smacking his head on the side of the boat and didn't seem inclined to stop anytime soon.

The group on the third boat stared.

"...I'm going to assume he wasn't talking about actual crabs?" Ocarina guessed.

"Crabbing, in terms of rowing a boat, is when your paddle dips too low and gets jerked by the water. Basically it completely kills your momentum and messes up everybody else in the boat," Dusk explained.

"You know an awful lot about boats for someone in a landlocked Hyrule," Mask said.

Dusk shrugged. "We have a lot of river-ways. There's a lot of entertainment value and some people make their living by giving tour rides. Everyone knows how to paddle, really."

"...Maybe we should put you with Wind as a translator," Speck said.

* * *

One extraordinarily confusing and directionally challenged half-hour later, the Links reached a small floating platform with a house on it, and immediately clambered on because nobody liked the boats very much at the moment.

This decision was immediately regretted about twenty seconds later when Ocarina looked up.

"Correct me if I'm wrong," he said, sounding like he very much hoped to be corrected, "but is that Tingle up there?"

Sure enough, the strange fairy-wanna-be was suspended above the ocean by a bright red balloon in physics-defying fashion. The group gaped.

"How... what?" Wind sputtered. "He was literally on the other side of the map yesterday! How did he _get_ here?"

"He's Tingle," Mask said darkly. "You probably don't want to know."

"All for getting back in the boats and pretending we didn't see him?" Lore said.

"Agreed," the group chorused.

* * *

Hours later, the group was floating above a certain spot in the ocean that Mask had specified. He pulled on his Zora... mask and said, "How do you guys feel about taking a really short swim?"

"I take it the Zoras live down there somewhere?" Dusk mused, peering at the water.

"There's air, right?" Ocarina asked.

Mask huffed. "Yes, there's air. There's also depression, so Shadow might be there. Any complaints? Sketch?"

"I'll be fine as long as it's short," Sketch said through gritted teeth.

"It will be," Mask assured. "Alright everyone, grab me or someone attached to me. And hold your breath."

With that, Mask dove into the water, dragging all seventeen Links behind him-and promptly discovered the concept of drag.

"You guys are _heavy!_" he grunted, picking up his pace and consequently moving point-five times faster. Steam, who was closest, sent Mask an eye-roll in lieu of being able to respond and started kicking his feet to help propel the chain along.

Luckily Mask had judged their position well, and the fish-rock-thing's mouth entrance was easily reached within a few more seconds. Mask broke the surface inside the structure and helped the rest of the group onto the floor, but didn't change back from a Zora.

"Welcome to the Zora Hall," he said once the rest of the Links had regained their breath.

"...huh," Lore said, looking around. "It's bigger on the inside. How is all this fitting in that fish?"

"Logic," Mask said. "Now, follow me closely and nobody should take too much offense. Mikau is pretty well-respected around here and if I say I brought some people to help, the others should accept that just fine."

"Mikau?" Gen repeated.

"Oh... well, that's who died," Mask explained. "That's who I look like."

"That's... creepy," Speck decided.

Mask looked distinctly uncomfortable, which translated surprisingly well on a Zora's face. "Yeah... it is. But that's how it works. Now, let's go ask the band if they've seen a red-eyed shadow, shall we?"

Mask led the way to a room with an unusually large Zora in it. He was playing a drum set made from coral and what appeared to be dead fish, with drumsticks made from driftwood.

"Hey, Mikau!" the drummer said, beaming from his set. "Where've you been, man? And who are the green guys?"

"Friends of mine I met during one of our performances, I'm showing them around," Mask replied. "Hey, have you seen a Hylian recently?"

"What's that?" the drummer asked. Mask blinked.

"Uh... Terminians?"

"Oh! Why didn't you say so? I'm looking at some right now, bro."

"No, not them. The one I'm talking about looks like he's made of shadows and has bright red eyes. Seen anyone like that?"

The drummer paused. "Hmmmmmmmm..."

There was a long beat of silence.

"...Nope," the drummer decided.

"Right, cool. Thanks anyway, dude," Mask said.

"Anytime," the drummer said, waving a drumstick in farewell as the group trooped out.

Once the door had been closed, Dusk made a "huh," noise. "I have never seen a Zora that fat before," he said. "Ever."

"I've been told not to mention it," Mask replied as he led the way to another door. "Something about not liking him when he's angry."

Behind the door was another Zora just as abnormal as the drummer. His head-fin drooped over his eyes exactly the way dreadlocks would, making it impossible to see his expression. It made one wonder if Zoras could actually style their fins or if they just had to make do with how the appendages grew. He was strumming a sombre tune on what looked like a bass guitar made from bones of dead sea life, including a crab claw, ironically enough.

"Mikau," the Zora greeted in a tone that sounded extremely hippie-like. "Ya brought some new dudes for our jam session. I like it."

"Actually, they're helping me look for a friend," Mask said. "Have you seen a Terminian who's all black with red eyes?"

"Nope. He sounds radical, though. When ya find him, ya _gotta_ introduce me. I could write a sweet song about that guy."

"I don't doubt that," Mask replied. "Thanks for your time, man."

"No problemo," the bassist said, going right back to strumming his song.

The next room was largely taken up by a three-sided piano which thankfully seemed _not_ to be made of dead fish. The Zora playing the keys turned around at the sound of the Link's entrance and said, "Mikau! Were you successful? Did you get- who the heck are those guys?"

"Friends of mine, they're helping me out as a favor they owe me," Mask said without missing a beat. "I thought it'd be a good idea to get all the help I can."

The pianist, who looked about as strange as the previous two, narrowed his tiny eyes thoughtfully. He had a pair of what looked like headphones made of seaweed perched on his head, and a mouth so wide that it looked physically impossible. "...Yeah, that makes sense. Just make sure they don't go telling everybody, okay?"

"No problems there," Mask assured him. "Quick question for you. Have you seen a dark-colored Terminian with red eyes?"

The pianist frowned. "No... why? Do you think he's the one responsible?"

"Not sure yet," Mask said with a head shake. "But it's important that I find him anyways, I just thought I'd ask. Thanks for your time."

"Thank _you_, Mikau," the pianist called after him. "I know you can get the eggs back."

Immediately after Mask closed the door, Lore pounced. "What eggs? What can't we tell anyone? What does he think Shadow's responsible for?"

"There's a Zora named Lulu who lost her eggs to some pirates," Mask explained with his hands up in a 'don't shoot me' pose. "Mikau was trying to rescue them so she could be happy again."

"But... Mikau died," Red said with a frown. "Her eggs never got rescued..."

"No, they did. I rescued them," Mask said. Red frowned some more at that.

"Then... why do they all think the eggs are still lost?"

Mask sighed. "Because I have to keep resetting time in order to prevent the total destruction of Termina. Everything I do before then gets rewritten, like it never happened in the first place. Trust me, I really did save the eggs. But that was in another cycle, before all this mess happened."

"That's..." Red trailed off, unable to find a word that was accurate enough.

"I know," Mask said softly. "I know."

* * *

There was one more person they could ask, Mask decided. He would just need to phrase his questions as Yes-or-No. Thus, he led the group to Lulu.

"Hey, Lulu," Mask said. The Zora girl looked up, tilted her head, then stared back down at the waves below. Mask took this in stride. "I know you can't really talk right now, but I need to ask you something important. You can nod your head yes or no, okay?"

Lulu paused, then slowly met Mask's eyes and nodded.

"Have you seen a dark-colored Terminian with red eyes?"

Another pause, then a head shake of 'No'. Mask _hmph_ed.

"That's fine. Thanks for your help."

Lulu tilted her head in a questioning angle and flicked her eyes towards the rest of the Links.

"Oh, them? They're helping me find your eggs," Mask said. "They're friends of mine from Clock Town."

Lulu arched an eyebrow.

"Well, they're... what's the word for seventeen kids born at once?"

"Septuplets?" Blue offered.

"No, that's seven born at once...I think..."

A very faint smile appeared on Lulu's face for the briefest of moments. Mask chuckled.

"No, I haven't actually asked how their mother felt about it. I kinda thought that would be rude."

"Absolutely right," Lore said, nodding emphatically. "That's her business. Never ask your friend's mother about her childbirth circumstances."

"Lore!" Gen scolded.

"Hey, don't hate me because it's true."

"I apologize for... him," Mask told Lulu, who nodded as acceptance. "Anyways... oh! I almost forgot. I've got a new song for you."

Mask promptly pulled out a guitar from absolutely nowhere that looked like it had been made from fishbone and plucked a seven-note song on the strings. The effect on Lulu was astounding. Her entire face went from devastated to cheerful in a matter of seconds, and she began to softly sing along with Mask's tune.

At the end of the song, Mask looked the Zora girl dead in the eyes. "We're going to fix this mess," he said. "That's a promise."

Lulu nodded and looked back out at the ocean, more peaceful than she'd been in a while.

"You speak silent depression awfully well," Lore observed as the group left.

"Nah, I'm actually just fluent in Facial Expressions," Mask replied. "Turns out, the face says exactly what you're thinking if one knows where to look for it."

"Sounds useful," Sketch said.

"You have no idea," Mask said with a grin. "Remind me to translate a politician sometime, it's absolutely hilarious to read what they're actually thinking about something."

"To the point of why we're here," Speck interrupted, "is there anywhere else we should look?"

Mask tried to run a hand through his hair, only to remember that Zoras didn't have any and ended up awkwardly patting the top of his head. Lore snickered.

"To be honest," Mask replied, shooting Lore a glare, "I can't think-"

He was abruptly interrupted by a gargantuan sea turtle.

"THE OPEN SEAS OF GREAT BAY HAVE NEED OF YOUR MIGHT," the turtle boomed. It had palm trees growing on it's back and was the equivalent size of a house. "QUICKLY. CLIMB ONTO MY BACK."

The Links gaped at the turtle, who gazed back at them impassively and slowly blinked, once.

"...Actually, I've kinda already done that, so... yeah," Mask said. "But, thanks for your offer, and I promise once we get this whole time mess sorted out I'll come back for a ride, okay?"

The turtle eyed him quizzically.

"It's not you, it's me," Mask said, backing off. "Later!"

He walked away before the turtle could say anything else.

"Explanations? Please?" Vio asked.

"You can't get to the Great Bay Temple without that turtle," Mask rattled off. "You can't summon the turtle without the New Wave Bossa Nova. You-"

"The what?"

"The song I played for Lulu, now shush," Mask lectured. "You can't get the New Wave Bossa Nova without rescuing Lulu's eggs. You can't rescue Lulu's eggs without being a Zora. You can't be a Zora without knowing the Song of Healing, and you can't know the Song of Healing unless the Happy Mask Salesman taught you. Shadow has none of that, so it's literally impossible for him to be there. Therefore, there's no point in going."

Blue blinked. "Run that by me again?"

Mask sighed. "The point is, I'm out of places to look here. The only things I can think of now are the Spider Houses, because those have their own level of creepy."

The Links glanced between themselves and shrugged.

"Worth a shot," Gen decided.

* * *

"I take it back. This was not a good idea in the slightest," Gen said, holding his sword between him and the cluster of spiders on the floor. "Why would anyone in their right mind even _look_ in here?"

"Scared of spiders, are we?" Lore teased. Gen shot him a Death Glare.

"Let me explain something to you," Gen said slowly, enunciating each word. "Back in my Hyrule, the Skulltulas are bigger than me. Their backs are armored so you can't pierce them, and the only way to kill them is to stab their underside. If they see you, they will stalk you. If they catch you, they will launch themselves at your face, wrap all their legs around your torso and trap your arms so you _can't_ stab them, and proceed to do their level best to eat you then and there. And they are _very _good at what they do. So yes, Lore. I am afraid of spiders. Have you got a problem with that?"

Lore stared at him for a long moment.

"...No, I don't," he said. "But I thought, since you were the one who said, and I quote, 'Worth a shot', you didn't have a problem with them."

"Yeah, well, my brain hadn't caught up with my words at that point," Gen grumbled. "Let's just... hurry up and check all the stuff so we can leave, okay?"

"My sentiments exactly," Lore agreed.

* * *

By the time the Links had finished, the sky was dark and the Moon was disturbingly close. Mask had taken off his... mask and was back to being a twelve-year-old Hylian, and the group was trudging back to Clock Town in order to prepare for the Moon.

"I really hope Shadow's there," Speck worried. "Between Ikana, the Swamp, Great Bay, the Spider Houses, and all the places we passed in between, I really thought he'd have been in one of them."

"We never went there though," Steam said, pointing towards a snow-covered mountain in the distance. "You sure he wouldn't be there, Mask?"

"That's where the Gorons live," Mask replied. "Shadow doesn't like Gorons."

"He doesn't?" Dusk asked, surprised. "How do you know?"

"I heard him muttering about them once after I used my Goron Mask. Something about them being infuriatingly happy-go-lucky and oozing far too much contentment to be normal. He seemed to think their attitude was unnatural. "

"...I'm pretty sure that's just optimism," Dusk said. "Or does he hate that too?"

"Oh, I wouldn't be surprised."

As the group walked into town, it was eerily empty. Aside from Muto, who was yelling at an abandoned town square about cowards and having the Carnival on his own. The group solidly ignored him and sat down at the base of the Clock Tower to wait.

"...I can't decide what I think about this place," Realm said. "On one hand, we have lots of death, poisonous water, mysterious cows, and a lot of other weird and concerning stuff. On the other hand, most of said weird and concerning stuff isn't normal."

"The cows are normal, actually," Mask offered.

"That's not helping."

Mask snickered, but didn't say anything else.

After another beat of silence, the Four spoke up. "**It's like Termina's special, or something.**"

Wind raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"**Well, we're all learning stuff we didn't know before, about ourselves and each other. Did any of us know we actually liked Shadow before we lost him and had to think about it?**"

The Links had to admit they did not.

"**And Sketch, we didn't know you avoided water until we got here.**"

Sketch shifted in place. "Well, it never really came up before now."

"**And Gen, we didn't know you hated spiders.**"

"It's not so much of a hate as it is a strong passion about avoiding them," Gen said.

"**Wind, we learned you have boating vocabulary, and that we need Dusk to translate you."**

"I said I was sorry!" Wind protested to general laughter, while Dusk rubbed his head and looked embarrassed.

"**Mask, we learned you've got a sensitive side under all that pranking and sarcasm.**"

"I never would have guessed," Ocarina said, nudging his counterpart in the ribs. Mask rolled his eyes.

"Sarcasm doesn't work on yourself, dude."

"Why? Have you thought up all the good retorts already?"

"You _know_ I have."

"**A-hem,**" the Four coughed. "**Anyways, there's probably more that we aren't remembering, but we think you get our point, yeah?**"

"Admittedly, there is a lot of evidence to that point," Vio observed. "But it could still be just coincidence."

"**This place is special**," the Four insisted. "**You never know, once we find Shadow we might learn something new about him too.**"

"The day Shadow shares about himself is the day the world ends," Lore said, before flinching and slowly looking upwards at the descending death. "...I admit, I forgot about that for a moment. I really hope I didn't just jinx us."

"I know a good way to find out," Mask said, standing up and inclining his head towards the top of the Clock Tower. Fireworks were exploding in the sky above, and as the Links watched the upper portion of the Tower reconfigured itself so that the clock face became the roof platform. On the ground, stone slabs slotted into place to create a staircase which led up to the now-open door of the Clock Tower.

Mask took a deep breath. "You guys ready?"

Lore glanced around at the group and grinned fiercely. "Absolutely."

"Alright then," Mask said, facing the door and walking through. "Here we go again."

* * *

**Termina is a ****_jerk_**** to write about and keep humor in, let me tell you. Everybody's either dead, going to be dead, cursed, possessed, or evil. It's ****_ridiculous_****.**

**On the bright side, it did allow for some character development.**

**Thanks for being so patient with the wait for this one, everybody. I've been making myself put it off, because I knew I needed to adjust to my class schedule and get a feel for what kind of time I would have for writing. But I'm officially two weeks into school now, and I think I can guarantee an update about once a week. If not, I'll let you know.**

**I get to write Majora next chapter... that'll be ****_fun_****. *grins evilly***

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to nickpillowthegamemaster, AnimeCat92 gdcintl and narutobleachfan16for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**Talon: Ah. So you don't really like shipping then. Honestly, neither do I, but it made sense at the time. I can promise that this will be a little-to-no romantic relationship fic whatsoever. Leaning more on the side of no. As for the Hero's Shade... I'm still debating on whether or not to use that plot point. **

**The Shy Potato: That's EXACTLY why I gave him that personality trait.**

**LuckyLugia: Happy Birthday! **

**butter: I know Zelda runs the country, and I respect that. But this ****_is_**** a humorous fic, and it's about the Links rather than the Zeldas. ST Zelda just always struck me as... ditzy. I guess I let that influence my other Zeldas a bit too much. I'll try and tone it down.**

**Can'tStopLaughin: The cows were actually a reader's suggestion. I liked it, so I used it. **

**Guest: Thank you!**


	39. Chapter 38

**(So this time, I've given the Universe the chapter off. ...Really. ...Okay, fine, it sorta abandoned me while it takes a trip to Hawaii. BUT, it will be back. **

**Now, then... disclaimer. I don't own the Legend of Zelda. A fact which I try not to think about because of how depressing it is. *mopes*)**

* * *

Majora's Moon hung unnaturally in the air, only a few hundred feet from the top of the Clock Tower. The Links stood huddled on the clock face, all peering up at the grinning monstrosity and silently cursing their hero complexes.

Why did they always do the stupidly dangerous things?

"You're all idiots," Tatl said, unknowingly voicing everyone's exact thoughts. "The Moon is going to crush everything! Why aren't we running for our lives like all the sane people?"

"I thought you wanted to save Tael," Mask retorted.

"_Tael_ isn't an _idiot_," Tatl snapped. "Unlike you crazy people, my brother has an intact sense of self-preservation!"

"I resent that!" Lore exclaimed. "I'll have you know that mine is perfectly intact, thank you very much. How else can I still be around to annoy you all?"

Dusk coughed discreetly. "Moon's still crashing, you know..."

At that point, a small darkly-colored figure toppled out of the Moon's mouth and plummeted towards the Tower, with a small dark-purple sphere shooting after it.

"Siiiis!" Tael shouted, streaking down from the sky in desperate pursuit of a thoroughly unconscious Skull Kid. "I can't stop him falling!"

"Oh, _Din,_" Mask swore.

Wind snatched his Wind Waker out of his bag and hastily channeled the air upwards as fast as he could make it blow. The gusting caught the Kid and, since he was made of wood, slowed his descent considerably. Meanwhile, Realm had stretched Gen's Sailcloth between himself and a few of the other Links in an effort to catch him, while Gen himself rooted through his bag for the bottle of soup that was sure to be needed.

The Skull Kid flopped into the Sailcloth with a muffled _thump_, but thankfully stopped before he reached the ground. At any other time, the fact that his hat hadn't moved in the slightest would have drawn some interest. Unfortunately, the questionable laws of hat causality would have to wait.

"What the heck happened to him?" Steam asked in astonishment.

"Well, he's supposed to be Majora's... host, I guess," Mask said. "But I have no idea what all this is about."

Ocarina frowned. "Haven't I seen him before-"

"Probably, Termina's like that. Remember?"

Ocarina didn't look entirely convinced. "...Maybe..."

Tatl had flown directly to her little brother and was alternating between berating Tael for making her worry and checking him for injuries, which involved dragging Gen over and forcing him to do a check-up despite protests otherwise.

"Well yes, I'm the group medic, but that literally just means I carry the potions!" Gen protested. "I don't know anything about _Hylian _biology, much less fairy biology."

"Then give him a potion," Tatl retorted. "I don't care how you do it, just make sure he's okay!"

"I'm pretty sure I'm fine," Tael said futilely. Tatl ignored him and glared at Gen to the best of her fairy ability.

"Okay, look. I'll put some soup in a thimble or something and Tael can drink it if he wants to. Satisfied?" Gen asked. Tatl nodded pointedly, and Gen took that as a cue to start looking for the promised fairy-sized cup.

He dug through his bag for a few seconds before pausing and saying, "Mind explaining what happened to the Skull Kid, Tael?"

"Well, he's been acting kinda weird ever since he found that mask," Tael started. "But a couple days ago, it just vanished off his face. And it left this freaky hole in midair, right in front of the Kid's head. He didn't take that very well, see. He started ranting about how nobody cared for him anymore and how even the mask abandoned him."

Tatl stopped for a breath, and Gen motioned encouragingly while he kept rummaging for a thimble.

"That only lasted a few minutes though, because the mask came back out of nowhere. But... there was something wrong with it."

"How so?" Gen asked.

"It floated on it's own, and it was talking to the Skull Kid. It said that he and it had a new purpose now, and when they succeeded the entirety of existence would be eradicated. But... well, that kinda freaked both me and the Skull Kid out. The Kid told the mask that he didn't want to destroy _everything_ everything, just the stuff that caused him pain. There were plenty of people out there who didn't deserve to be destroyed because they'd never had a part in abandoning him. And... the mask... it didn't really like that...

"It-it grabbed Skull Kid in these weird tentacle things and shot up into the Moon. I followed them, because I thought the Skull Kid might need help. I'm not really sure how long that lasted, but the mask kept trying to make the Kid wear it and Skull Kid kept saying no, and then the mask said something about burning and Skull Kid started screaming and-"

"You don't have to talk about that bit," Gen interrupted quickly. Tael took a deep, stuttering breath and slowly kept going.

"Skull Kid didn't really wake up after that... like, he mumbled some stuff, but he never opened his eyes or anything. I think the mask did something to his mind, because there wasn't any fire that I saw but the way the Kid reacted...

"And then this guy showed up. He was kinda confused, like he didn't know why he was there. He had these glowing red eyes... like, his entire eye was red, no pupil or iris or anything. And the mask took an interest in him. It said he was made of darkness, and it wanted to make him its new host."

Gen inhaled sharply. "Did he accept?"

Tael shook his head. "He called the mask... 'a misshapen fish-eyed eldritch freak' and said he wouldn't put something like that on his face if you paid him with all the blood of his enemies."

"...Yep, that's Shadow."

"I never got his name," Tael said regretfully. "I thought the mask would burn him too, but it just laughed and said it could be patient. And the guy called it a name... I think he said Majora?"

Gen shuddered, then realized he still hadn't found a thimble and dug back into his bag again.

"After that, Majora just kept trying. Constantly asking... Shadow, you said? Asking Shadow to be its host. I don't know why it didn't just take him by force, but it never did. And Shadow... well, he didn't like the mask at all. But he didn't seem to be able to leave, and it was like the longer he stayed the weaker he got... I started to think he would just give in, but he never did. Sometime during this, he found the Skull Kid on the floor and started moving him, bit by bit. I never let him see me, but I always watched him. He kept moving the Kid, whenever Majora wasn't looking, until... well, Skull Kid just kinda slipped through the floor. And I followed him down, and then he was falling, and... that's when you guys came in, I guess."

"Shadow pushed an unconscious kid out of a Moon to fall to his death?" Lore asked incredulously. The rest of the group had gathered around sometime during Tael's story and had all heard the ending.

"No, not like that," Tael said. "It was like... like Shadow was helping the Kid to escape. He knew the Moon was falling, because Majora gloated about it all the time. I think he thought, maybe the Moon was close enough that falling wouldn't kill him."

"Just injure him very badly," Gen grumbled, rummaging around just a bit more before pulling out a small thimble with a triumphant flourish. He dripped a bit of soup into the cup and handed it off to Tael, then crossed over to the sleeping Skull Kid and examined him concernedly. "I don't really know what to do about mental issues, though... I just carry potions. I don't think there's any potions for the mind. Maybe... is anyone here psychic?"

"I think we would have said if we were," Blue pointed out.

"Does sensitive eyesight count?" Steam asked. "Because, technically, I can see Zelda's mental projection of herself..."

"I thought it was her ghost, dude."

"She wasn't dead!" Steam snapped. "She just got... separated. Mind apart from body, and all that, you know?"

Gen frowned. "Okay, so we have a completely inexperienced possible psychic who isn't quite sure about actually being one. I don't know if that's progress or not."

"I'm leaning towards 'not'," Sketch decided.

"So we can't actually help the Skull Kid right now, Shadow is most definitely inside the Moon, Majora's been after him this whole time and the world is going to end in about an hour," Ocarina summarized. "Great."

Speck raised a hand. "Um, one more thing to add to that list?"

"I'd really rather you didn't..."

Speck ignored that and said, "There appears to be a proboscis coming out of the Moon's face, and it's kinda heading straight for us."

Lore blinked. "Say what?"

The group looked up and saw a rapidly descending tube of colored... stuff making a beeline for the unconscious Skull Kid on the ground. Dusk quickly snatched the small child out of the way and the column collided with the bare stone instead. It seemed to be somewhat stuck because it began twisting around and wriggling in what looked like an effort to free itself.

"...Well that's new," Mask decided.

"This didn't happen in one of those earlier Three-Day Cycle thingies?" Steam asked.

"Never got this far before," Mask replied with a shrug. "I always had to reset time due to impending death by fireball."

Vio examined the shifting column closely. "Do you suppose this could be a way to get up in there? It was obviously aimed for the Skull Kid, probably to bring him back. Maybe we could use it instead."

"Worth a shot," Green seconded.

"Then I'm coming with you," Tael said determinedly. Everyone within earshot immediately flinched and took one very large step back in an effort to avoid the impending explosion.

Which promptly failed spectacularly.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Tatl screeched. "TAEL, YOU ARE STAYING _RIGHT HERE _WHERE IT'S SAFE!"

"The Moon's about to flatten us! How is that safe?!" Tael yelled back, albeit at a noticeably lower volume.

"It's better than being up there with that... _thing_," Tatl spat. "You just told us the mask is basically a deranged psychopath! _Why_ do you want to go back?"

"Because I want to help!" Tael shouted. "Because there's still someone up there with Majora and if we don't help him, who will!? Because if nobody goes to stop the mask, _everything_ is gonna burn!"

"That's what these guys are for," Tatl argued, flicking a wing towards the Links. "You don't have to risk yourself."

Tael sighed. "Look, sis. For the past three days, you've been helping these guys to stop the mask and save Termina. You've been _doing_ something. I've been cowering and hiding and generally being too afraid and useless to help. Right now, I have a chance to change that."

Tatl stared at her brother for a long moment. "..._Now_ you grow a spine," she grumbled. "Right then. If you're going, then I'm coming with you. And no," she added in a preemptive statement, "there's nothing you can do to stop me. Deal with it."

Ocarina approached the pair of fairies cautiously. "...Have we got that all sorted out now?"

Tatl glared at him, and Ocarina winced. "Right... obviously. In that case, I think we're ready to go."

Lore stepped up to the pillar and stared at it skeptically. He stuck his hand in, twitched his thumb, then slowly moved all the way into the beam.

"Huh," he said. "Tingly."

"That's all you've got on the subject?" Gen asked. "Tingly?"

"Well, it is," Lore replied. "And on that note- oh hey, I'm elevating."

Sure enough, Lore was rising off the ground and traveling up the tube at a fairly decent speed. He spread his arms wide and flapped them with an idiotic grin on his face.

"You're not flying," Gen called up, annoyed.

Lore snorted. "I can dream. Now are you coming? Because sooner or later I'm gonna reach the Moon and I'd rather not be alone when that happens."

"As if we'd ever trust you to wander off on your own," Steam snarked, stepping into the tube.

"That's Realm's job!"

"No, Realm's job is to get lost," Sketch retorted. "Your job is to make the rest of us question your sanity on an hourly basis."

"I am not that bad," Lore declared, crossing his arms defiantly which made him wobble in midair a bit. The rest of the Links exchanged glances with each other. More than a few eyebrows were raised.

"Yes, you are," everyone told him simultaneously.

* * *

The inside of the Moon was not what anyone was expecting. From Tael's story, the Links had assumed that the interior was dark and sunless, the usual stereotypical villainous lair.

They were not prepared to see a cheerfully lit sun-filled meadow with a massive, gargantuan tree in the middle. They were even less prepared to see several children playing tag. And they most definitely weren't prepared for how those children acted.

"Masks... you have... a lot. You too... Will you be... a mask salesman?"

The group just stared, gaping.

"Uh," Lore said finally, swallowing, "what in Nayru's name is _wrong_ with this place?"

"I don't know why, but this is far, far creepier than anything I was expecting," Gen agreed vehemently.

The child in the mask looked at them, emotionless. "You haven't... answered... my question."

"...Maybe," Mask answered slowly. "Selling masks seems like it'd be fun."

The child swayed. "Then I'll play with you. So... The masks... Give me some..."

Mask blinked. "Um... hang on." He dug through his bag for a minute, then pulled out a cow-shaped hat and said, "How's this one?"

The boy carefully lifted the item from Mask's hands, almost reverently, and the cow hat shrank down into his palms like water absorbed into the ground.

"Thanks..." the boy said. "You... You're a nice person... Aren't you?"

Mask shifted uncomfortably. "Am I supposed to answer that...?"

The masked child ignored him entirely. "Hide and Seek..." he decided abruptly. "Let's play. I'll hide..."

Everything suddenly turned white.

* * *

When the blankness faded, the Links found themselves standing on a grassy cliff that overlooked a bottomless ravine. There were rotating wooden platforms positioned at various intervals across the pit and on the ground were incredibly large pink flowers.

"So... any ideas as to what we're doing?" Steam asked.

"Hide and Seek, apparently," Wind answered. "I would assume we're the Seekers."

Dusk studied the gaps with a frown. "How are we all expected to traverse this?"

"Well, I've got my Deku Mask," Mask started. "Wind and Gen can fly, so that takes care of them, and the rest of you... Hookshots?"

"It does attach on wood, yeah," Ocarina agreed.

"Then that's a plan," Lore decided. "And someone please watch Realm, the last thing we need is for him to get lost in a teleportational dimension."

"Believe it or not, it actually wouldn't be the first time," Realm said cheerfully.

The plan went off as expected. Gen and Wind flew along- well, Wind did. Gen flew ahead and then complained about how slow everyone was being when they caught up. Mask did his Deku thing with the pink flowers, and everyone else grappled along with owned or borrowed Hookshots. In just a few minutes, the group was on the other side of the gorge, where there was a rather ornate door set in the rock face. On the other side stood the masked child, waiting.

"... You found me..." He sounded ever so slightly disappointed at that, which was shocking in itself. It was the first emotion they'd seen from the boy... but it vanished almost instantly as the boy kept talking. "Hey... I want... more... masks..."

Mask rummaged in his bag again and pulled out a misshapen gray rock-like one with uneven eye-holes. "Is this one okay?"

Like before, the child took the mask with extreme care and absorbed it into his palms. Then, startling everyone in the group, he laughed. "Heh. Heh...thanks... You're nice..." The boy calmed down, and, looking directly at Mask, said, "Umm... Can I ask... a question?"

Mask raised an eyebrow. "Uh... sure."

"Your friends..." the boy said, swaying. "What kind of... people are they?

"What does-"

"I wonder..." the boy interrupted, "Do those people... think of you... as a friend?"

Mask opened his mouth, then closed it, looking contemplative. And suddenly the world turned white.

* * *

The white faded and the Links found themselves standing once again in a sunlit meadow looking at a tree.

"What was _that_ all about?" Dusk asked after a moment of silence.

"I... don't know," Mask admitted. "He asks some good questions though."

"Well, _I_ think of you as my friend," Red piped up, looking determined. "And as my friend, I say you're a good person."

"Well said," Blue agreed, ruffling Red's hair. He squeaked and ducked out of the way, trying in vain to fix his bangs.

"Onto the next one?" Realm asked, pointing to the other children playing around the tree.

"Onto the next one," Mask confirmed.

* * *

"Masks... you have... a lot. You too... Will you be... a mask salesman?"

"Uh... Well, maybe," Mask said, wondering why he was repeating this conversation.

"Then I'll play with you," the boy decided. "So... The masks... Give me some..."

Mask reached into his back again and pulled out what looked like a bomb, with the exception of the fact that it was meant to be worn. The boy looked at it, then looked at Mask and said, "More..."

The next one that Mask retrieved was a mask that looked like the head of a pig. The boy took both masks carefully into his hands, absorbed them, and said, "Thanks... You... You're a nice person... Aren't you?"

Mask frowned, now seriously wondering why this was being repeated word for word. Luckily the boy didn't seem to notice, because he continued straight on with, "Hide and Seek... Let's play. I'll... hide..."

And the world turned white.

* * *

They were in a long, dimly lit cave with one lone path stretching out across a chasm. To their left sat a group of pots. Any and all other thoughts regarding their surroundings were immediately abandoned in favor of smashing said pots to smithereens.

Once that was done, and the contents of the pots scavenged, the Links resumed their analysis of the cave.

"Right, this calls for more flight," Gen promptly decided, snatching Dusk's pouch from around the Link's neck and upending the contents into his hand.

"Seriously, you could _ask_ once in a while," Dusk complained to the now-a-falcon as he picked up the small black bag from the floor. Gen ruffled his feathers indignantly and took off, circling above the group in an impatient fashion.

Mask studied the path. "I think... the Goron mask," he said. After putting said mask on and transforming into the respective race, he turned to the rest of the group and said, "Everyone who's got a fast-running item, you should use it. And Realm..."

"I make no promises," Realm said resignedly. "Plus, I'm pretty sure I'm tempting fate right about now simply by standing in a dark cave."

"**Just because it's you, that's probably an understatement**," the Four sighed. They conferred with each other for a moment, then started walking off down the pathway. "**We'll meet you there, Realm.**"

Realm frowned. "What?"

"**When-not if-you get lost, you're going to end up in the most out-of-the-way place you could possibly get to, regardless of logic or relative ability to reach. We're going to meet you there.**"

Realm gaped, then considered the logic and decided it made a surprising amount of sense. "Hope you don't mind if I try to prove you wrong, though."

"**Trust us, that would be a genuine pleasure**," the Four groaned.

Mask waited until the Four made their way out of sight before curling into his Goron ball. "Everyone ready?" he asked.

The group voiced an affirmative.

"I'll start off slow," Mask told them. "Just until I get the hang of this place. Try and keep up, okay?"

With that, he took off. Above, Gen let out a cry which sounded suspiciously like _"__FINALLY!"_ to the Links and shot off after Mask. The rest of the group, using their various items to propel themselves, trailed behind and dearly hoped they wouldn't fall off.

* * *

A long while later, the Four, having reached a very, _very _out-of-the-way platform, were attempting to play Sheikah Says when Realm came jogging up out of nowhere. He screeched to a halt, stared at the Four, turned around to face the direction he had just came from, turned back to face the Four again, and blinked.

"Where have you _been_?" Realm asked with an air of exasperation.

"**What's that supposed to mean?**"

"You weren't there!" Realm exclaimed, gesturing wildly. The Four raised a simultaneous eyebrow, confused.

"You said you'd meet me there," Realm elaborated. "But you weren't there. I've been looking for you guys for ages!"

The Four blinked. "**You got lost?**"

"Of course I got lost, I always get lost!" Realm retorted. "You were supposed to be preempting me by being where I was eventually going!"

"**But this ****_is_**** where you were eventually going!**" the Four protested. "**It's remote, ridiculously hard to find, even more ridiculously hard to get to, and there's a thirty foot gap!**

Realm paused. "There is?"

The Four gaped, then shook their heads. "**Never mind that. Where'd you ****_actually_**** end up?**"

"You're never going to believe it," Realm said brightly. "Turns out, the actual exit to this place is incredibly hard to find, because all the paths look the same. So when I got lost, guess where I ended up?"

The Four collectively facepalmed.

"That's exactly what Lore did once the group found me," Realm noted. "Turns out, they got a bit lost and accidentally warped back to the entrance. What are the odds, right?"

The Four didn't respond, being too busy banging their heads against a wall to answer.

* * *

"...You found me..." the masked boy said quietly, once again sounding disappointed.

"Yeah, well, you would not _believe_ how long it took to get here," Sketch grumbled.

The child ignored him. "Hey... I want... more masks..."

Mask suppressed a shiver and dug down into his bag. He guessed the boy would want two more, since he had wanted two beforehand, and thus pulled out a yellow mask shaped like a fox, and an odd mask/hat type thing that perched a pale man's torso on top of the wearer's head. The boy absorbed the items into his palms with the same reverence that he had shown earlier, then cocked his head at Mask ever so slightly.

"Umm... Can I ask... a question?"

Mask shrugged, hoping this wasn't going where he thought it was.

"You... What makes you... happy? I wonder... What makes you happy... Does it make... others happy, too?"

Mask opened his mouth to answer, but the world turned white before he got a chance.

* * *

"What is it with these kids and odd questions?" Speck wondered as the group materialized in the sunlit meadow for the third time. "Everyone has something different that makes them happy. Like, Lore enjoys insulting people sarcastically, but if Red tried that he'd feel terrible afterwards."

"What if they actually take it seriously and I really hurt someone?" Red whimpered.

Speck pointed at him. "See? My point exactly."

"_I _want to know what this has to do with Majora," Wind said. "By all rules of logic, there should not be a _tree_ inside a Moon, much less sunshine and small creepy children."

"Maybe it's a tactic?" Steam suggested. "To throw us off, make us nervous?"

"One way to find out," Mask decided, pointing towards the tree where they could still see a couple children running around.

A few minutes later, the Links had confronted yet another masked child and were having a very familiar conversation. The only difference this time was that Mask handed the boy three masks instead of the previous one and two, and that when the whiteness surrounded them it left the group in what looked like an underwater piping system.

Sketch groaned. "Why did it have to be water..."

"You okay, dude?" Steam asked.

"I'll be alright," Sketch said slowly, eyeing the water with extreme prejudice. "Lets just get this over quick, okay?"

Mask slapped on his Zora face and said, "Does anyone have a rope?"

Lore promptly pulled out a large coil of the stuff and handed it off to Mask.

"Perfect. Now, anyone who can't swim, tie yourselves to this." He tied one end of the rope around his waist as he explained.

"You mind if I join in on that?" Sketch asked. "I think I'll panic less if I've got something to cling to."

"Okay seriously, _how_ did you stay calm when we fought Bellum?" Blue said incredulously.

"Well, if you'll recall, there was the ever-so-slightly distracting problem of Lore being possessed," Sketch snarked. "I had more important things to worry about then!"

"I don't mind," Mask broke in. "Just try not to be dead weight. And be sure to hold your breath."

* * *

Not ten seconds in, the Links came to the conclusion that this puzzle was even worse than the last one. The tube was almost too dark to see in, the water felt like it was independently trying to drown them, and every fifty feet or so the pipes split off into two identical paths that were impossible to tell apart. They couldn't even use Realm's wacked-up sense of direction because he was attached to the rope with the rest of the Links who couldn't swim.

As a result, it took the group nearly an hour to find the exit. There were also several failed and soggy attempts to create a map, a prototype of an underwater lamp that died within the first thirty seconds of it's life (Steam was devastated), a Deku Stick that Ocarina released into the water in an attempt to follow the current that they immediately lost-and later found when it completed a pipe circuit and clocked Vio on the back of the head, and so much trial and error that nobody could keep track anymore.

And just to top the whole experience off, the masked boy only seemed disappointed that they'd managed to find him.

He wanted three more masks, which he received, then tilted his head slightly. Mask braced himself for the coming question.

"The right thing..." the boy began. "What is it?"

Mask blinked.

"I wonder... If you do the right thing... Does it really make... everybody... happy?"

Then once again, the world turned white with nobody quite knowing how to answer that.

* * *

Again, the sunlit meadow. Again, a group of confused Heroes. And again, a discussion about the question.

"...Does anyone else think these kids are all obsessed with being happy?" Steam asked.

"I think it's a bit more than that," Dusk answered. "It's like they're trying to make us think about how we live."

"So this one, with doing the right thing," Gen began, "it's almost like they're coming from someone else's perspective. As far as we're concerned, we're doing the right thing by taking down Majora and finding Shadow. But from Majora's standpoint, that would completely ruin all it's plans. In other words, not happy."

"They're reflecting the Skull Kid's viewpoint," Tael suddenly said. "Who he thought his friends were, what made him happy, and how when his friends did the right thing it made him unhappy. I think... I think this might be the Skull Kid's subconscious."

There was silence for a moment.

"So... when you said Majora did something to his head..." Green realized.

"We'd better talk to the last few kids," Lore decided.

* * *

The fourth child wanted four masks, which really didn't come as a surprise given that pattern of the last three. The conversation, which almost seemed scripted by this point, also went as expected and the world went all white in the usual fashion.

When the blankness faded, the Links found themselves in a square room with ornate walls, one door, and a small group of pots in one corner.

These were immediately destroyed with enthusiasm and gusto.

Pot contents collected, the Links then went through the door and found themselves... in an almost identical-looking room to the last one.

"Not again," Steam moaned.

"Hey, look on the bright side," Realm encouraged. "There's only one other way to go from here."

"That's how the last one started..."

Realm sighed and started across the room, only to leap back as a Dinolfos dropped from the ceiling, brandishing a sword and wearing a surprisingly tasteful set of armor. It hissed at the group threateningly. Or, what was probably meant to be threatening if the Links hadn't been spending their last few months facing off against mentally compromised villains intent on destroying them/the universe.

"Is it sad that at one point I found these guys intimidating?" Dusk asked as he eyed the new opponent.

"Depends on how early you met them," Ocarina replied.

"Probably about a third of my way through," Dusk decided.

"Nah, you're good."

The Dinolfos, taking offense at being ignored, hissed louder and made some slashing motions.

In response, he received multiple bombs to the face.

"That was easy," Blue smirked as the unconscious lizard disappeared and the next door opened.

* * *

The other rooms went much the same way. Enter through door, fight enemy, exit through different door. Wash, rinse, repeat. The only main difference was the enemies they fought within each room (a Garo, Darknut, and whether or not the exit door required a Hookshot or varying other item to reach. It was, by far, the easiest Hide-and-Seek game the group had played so far.

The masked boy, like the others, seemed ever so slightly disappointed that he'd been found, but didn't say anything about it. Instead, he asked for more masks, which Mask grudgingly gave to him.

"I spent all that time collecting those things and I give them all to creepy children who look like the Happy Mask Salesman," he grumbled. Luckily the masked child ignored that.

"Your true face..." he said. "What kind of... face is it?"

The entire group stared at that one. "...What?" Mask said.

"I wonder..." the child continued. "The face under the mask... is that your true face?"

The world turned white.

* * *

Once again, the Links materialized in the meadow, but slightly more creeped out than the last times.

"I... have no idea what that one meant," Vio admitted.

"I don't think anyone does," Red agreed.

"Maybe he was talking about how you really feel about something?" Speck suggested. "When you show the world one emotion, but you really feel something else?"

"Could be," Vio mused. "But for some reason I feel like it's supposed to be more complicated that that."

"Hey, there's still one more child," Gen interrupted. "Up under the tree there, see?"

The Links peered at said vegetation.

"Wonder why he's not running like the others were," Dusk said.

"Well then," Lore replied, "let's go find out. Shall we?"

The group walked up to the lone masked boy sitting at the tree trunk. He had his knees curled up to his chest, his hands resting on his knees, and his chin resting on his hands. His mask was more colorful than the others-

"He's wearing Majora," Mask hissed frantically, recognizing it.

The entire group took one very large step backwards.

The boy slowly lifted his head and stared at the Links through his mask. "...Everyone has gone away, haven't they?"

Curiously, he didn't seem to actually be asking. It was more like he was confirming something he already knew. Then he continued with, "Will you play... with me?"

The Links exchanged nervous glances, then Lore stepped forward.

"...Yes," he said, taking in a deep breath as he did so. "We'll play with you."

The boy stood up at that, and gave the Heroes a once-over. "You don't have any masks left, do you?"

Mask flinched guiltily and dug around in his bag. He paused, bit his lip, then slowly pulled out his Deku mask and, as if the gesture pained him, offered it to the boy.

"Not that!"

Mask, having not expected that reaction, jumped a good six inches into the air and nearly dropped his item before he managed to shove it back into his bag. The relief on his face was palpable as he told the boy, "I've only got that kind left."

"Well, let's do something else then," the child decided. "Let's play good guys against bad guys... Yes. Let's play that." He suddenly produced a mask from out of nowhere and thrust it into Mask's hands, who stared at it in surprise.

"It... it looks like me," he said, considerably confused.

Lore leaned in for a better view. "Hey, it does," he realized. "That's weird."

"The Fierce Deity..." the child said suddenly. "I wonder... can you control it?"

Mask swallowed. The masked boy didn't seem to be speaking as a child anymore.

"Are you ready?" the boy asked ominously. "You're the bad guy. And when you're bad, you just run. That's fine right?"

The Links began to feel that this wasn't such a great idea after all.

"So... Shall we play?"

Before anyone could answer, the world faded away. But this time, everything turned black.

* * *

**Okay. I know I said about a week, but I don't know why I was that idiotic. Updates happen whenever I finish them, which right now means during the little bits of free time I have once all homework is done and all tests have been studied for. You have been warned.**

**You know, I honestly thought I was gonna get to Majora in this chapter. Whoops. And to ALL you people who have been ****_incessantly_**** asking me about the Fierce Deity almost since day one... here's your answer. And no, I will not be using it as a kill-all solution in every single chapter. They're the Links, not Gary Stues. Nobody likes those.**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling.**

* * *

**Thanks to chaosspeer, Sayla Ragnarok, Peace Wing, Vulpimaru, angel88441, Eevee on the Move, and TheStrangeAuthoress for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**TooLazyToLogIn: If I did that, it would probably end up in a probable misadventures continuation. Probably will, actually. That's a good idea.**

**the has-been who never will be: Cool tip, you can type in your favored username as a guest when you leave a review. As for paradoxes... well, I'm sort-of kinda planning a sequel/continuation which will hopefully chronicle general mischief and misadventures that the Dimensional Links have afterwards. You don't really think I'd put myself through all this work with these characters and just abandon them afterwards, do you? ;) **

**Talon: Good!**

**Fading Sunlight: The cows ****_do _****defy logic in some ways... I might do that.**


	40. Chapter 39

**(So... the Universe hasn't come back yet. I also suspect it is no longer in Hawaii. Postcards seem to indicate Tahiti. Or possibly Jamaica. It's hard to tell when your only reference is a somewhat generic beach photo.**

**Now... I don't own the Legend of Zelda. If I did, Zelda Wii U would be out by now, and I would be fired due to pushing an incomplete game to be released before it was ready. It'd be Sonic Boom all over again... *shudders*)**

* * *

The room was spacious, echoey, and absolutely black. As in, you-could-wave-your-fingers-an-inch-from-your-face-and-not-see-it black. Lore, being who he was, promptly tried this to see if it was true. He ended up accidentally slapping someone in the face, although who it actually was was somewhat questionable.

A split-second later, the room turned deep violet instead, allowing the Links to see their surroundings. Dusk gave Lore a death glare as he gingerly touched his nose and did his best to ignore Midna's hysterical laughter in his head. The rest of the group was preoccupied with the room they were now in.

The walls were arched and somewhat disturbing-looking... and then they started in on the psychedelic colors. It wouldn't have looked nearly as creepy as it did if the colors had just been properly coordinated. There were some things you never, _ever _paired orange with and magenta was one of those things.

Sketch gained a scandalized expression at that.

The floor had a collection of thick white lines running across it that separated the... stone? Probably stone- separated the stone into six segments. And on the floor, leaning against one of the horribly-colored walls with an expression of pained stupidity tolerance, was Shadow.

"We found you!" Red cried happily, sprinting over to the darker Link and beaming. Shadow stared at him incredulously.

"...You guys are all complete idiots," he said.

"Oi! We are performing a rescue!" Lore objected.

"That's exactly _why_ you're all idiots," Shadow sighed. "You just walked right into the fish-eyed freak's trap."

"'Fish-eyed... freak'?"

"Majora," Shadow clarified with a grumble.

"I thought Majora wanted you," Wind frowned.

Shadow shifted on the floor a little. "Maybe as a host, yeah. Evidently though, I also served as some very convenient bait for the Link it _really_ wants to kill."

**_And oh, how thoroughly _****enjoyable****_ it will be._**

The group jerked as the voice drifted through a far wall and echoed around them. Curiously, it was impossible to tell the gender of the speaker. There were just enough qualities from both sides that the voice was completely androgynous.

"And here comes the Piece-of-Heart reject itself," Shadow muttered. The far wall noticeably twitched.

**_I am far better than a Piece of Heart could ever hope to be-_**

"OBJECTION!" Lore bellowed, finger pointed and distractive tactics engaged. "That statement directly contradicts a vital piece of evidence!"

**_...I beg your pardon? _**

"Here he goes again," Gen rolled his eyes.

"Previous Witness testimony has clearly stated that the Pieces of Heart are, and I quote, 'one of the single most useful items an elf-boy can have'. Not only does this item completely restore the health of the user, it actually _adds_ to the previously mentioned health!"

**_Whether or not that is a desirable effect is based on consumer-_**

"HOLD IT!" Lore hollered. "Are you trying to tell me that the average consumer, who I remind the prosecution is _not_ a demon mask, does not find the effect of regained health desirable? I find that hard to believe." Lore rubbed his chin, then whipped out another imperially pointing finger. "You've been lying to the court!"

**_Are you quite sane?_**

"We've been trying to figure that out for weeks," Steam said.

"I find the witness guilty of falsified evidence and request that they be removed from the stand immediately!" Lore declared.

There was a beat of silence.

"...Is someone going to be the judge, or am I going to have to pick that up as well?" Lore asked, annoyed.

"You do realize that none of the rest of us have any idea what you're doing, right?" Dusk questioned.

Lore scowled as the confusion wore off. "Dangit... I was on a roll too..."

**_It appears I will only have to torture a few of you into insanity,_** Majora mused, detaching itself from the far wall and floating over to the group. **_Most of you appear to already be there._**

"And proud of it, thank you very much," Lore said, nodding.

**_You intrigue me_****. **Majora cocked itself slightly onto it's right side. **_I will enjoy experimenting on your corpses once I have broken your minds. _**

"We should probably back away now..." Mask warned, doing exactly that. The rest of the group wisely followed his lead, dragging a complaining Shadow with them.

**_Oh, you can't escape me here,_**the mask whispered. **_This is _****my****_ world... this is _****my****_ reality. I wonder... how long will it take for you to snap? How long can I make you scream?_**

**_How long can I make you _****burn****_?_**

* * *

"It's... _toying_ with us," Speck shuddered. He was currently one inch tall and clinging to Green's shoulder like a lifeline. Considering that he'd just had a nasty run-in with the entrails coming from the mask's back, his position was understandable.

Unfortunately, masks didn't have stab-able eardrums.

At the moment Majora was lazily drifting around the room, occasionally swaying back and forth as if it could hear music. From it's back sprouted the tendrils that Speck had... explored, which behaved not unlike those of a jellyfish. Disconcertingly, the mask always had its eyes facing the group. Large, yellow, unblinking eyes.

It was enough to give even Lore the shivers.

"**Plan?**" the Four asked plaintively.

"Shoot it with arrows," Lore said.

Gen frowned. "Any specific kind, or just straight-up arrows?"

"I dunno," Lore shrugged. "Just launch a volley and see what works. Between the eighteen of us _somebody_'s gonna have something that'll work."

"...I'm gonna try the Fierce Deity," Mask spoke up.

The group stared at him in disbelief- then hurriedly dodged as Majora came spinning through and regrouped on a different side of the room.

"Have you got a brain in there?" Ocarina asked, rapping his older-but-younger self on the head. "Because I could have sworn you just said you're going to use the creepy mask that the small Majora child gave you."

"That's what I said," Mask agreed cheerfully, which was completely out of place given the situation.

"Normally, I approve of stupid stunts," Lore said. "Usually because I'm the one doing them. You're talking a whole other level of stupid here. Do you not see the large and glaringly neon sign screaming 'IT'S A TRAP!' hovering above that mask, or am I the only one here?"

Mask twitched. "I don't think it is, though. Tael, remember what you said about those kids and that tree?"

"Skull Kid's mindscape?" Tael clarified.

"Exactly. I think this is the Kid's way of lending us some help. He gave us a mask that can match Majora."

"...That makes no sense."

"Well, do _you_ have a better explanation?"

Majora drifted lazily across their field of vision, softly cackling. Lore decided it wasn't going to attack again just yet and returned his attention to the argument.

"If you put that thing on and get yourself possessed-"

"I can just sing the Song That Gets On Everybody's Nerves, right?" Mask guessed, flashing a grin.

Lore rolled his eyes. "I was gonna say I'd hurt you right after I saved you, but that might work just as well."

Mask smiled briefly, then took out the Fierce Deity. Then, before he could second-guess himself, he shoved the item onto his face.

And his world turned white.

* * *

To the rest of the watching Links, Mask turned into a taller and more albino version of Ocarina before promptly collapsing in a heap. Gen leaned over his friend and poked around for a pulse.

"He's not dead," he announced brightly. "And he's also not actively trying to kill us. We've got progress!"

"He's also out cold in the middle of a life-and-death battle," Dusk pointed out dryly.

"Yes, well, that's less good. Who wants to be on 'Protect Mask' duty?"

"I'd rather not let myself get killed if I can help it," Ocarina said. "I'll guard him."

"And the rest of us are keeping to the 'Spam All the Arrows' plan," Lore nodded authoritatively. "Any questions?"

"Where does Shadow keep bombs that big?" Wind asked in a stunned tone.

The Links flinched and slowly turned around to see Shadow, very tired, very hurt, and very, _very _pissed, holding a bomb over his head that was at least three times the length of his body in diameter, easily.

"Hey freak-face," he called derisively, eyes locked on the swaying Majora. "Catch."

With that, he lobbed the gargantuan explosive directly at the mask. It was almost as if the bomb fell in slow-motion as it careened towards Majora, due to everyone's panic causing time to seemingly slow. In fact, one could almost say that Majora's already wide eyes got just a bit wider as the bomb came hurtling down.

And then it exploded.

Majora vanished into a fireball of death and nitro glycerin, while Shadow laughed maniacally and the rest of the Links ran screaming. Needless to say, there may have been a small amount of revenge packed into that one.

* * *

White.

Everything was white.

Oh, Mask knew there were things there. He could feel them. The fact that he seemed to be standing on something was proof enough of that. The problem was that the floor was the same color of white as what he presumed were the walls, and those were the same color as what he thought might be the ceiling. The ceiling was the same color as what was possibly a chair, and the chair was the same color as whatever he'd just tripped over.

On second thought, he appeared to have tripped over the chair. Which made what he previously thought was a chair... probably a table.

Then again, it was the exact same color white as everything else, so it was a little hard to tell.

"Great," Mask grumbled, the only spot of color as far as he could see. "I stuck myself in a null void. Ocarina is going to kill me once he lives though this."

His words echoed, then came back, then echoed away again. Mask groaned.

"And now the physics are whacked. Even better."

He took a few steps forward and ran straight into something white. He couldn't tell what it was, of course, it being the same color as the probable floor, walls, ceiling, table, and chair. Which made it all the more annoying-

_"__What are you doing here?"_

Mask yelped and spun around, accidentally knocking his kneecap on what he thought might be the chair. The newly existing entity raised a pale eyebrow at him as he clutched his now-bruised joint and cursed the existence of sharp corners.

"Could you repeat that?" Mask gasped.

_"__What are you doing here?"_ the person repeated. Mask frowned and stood up.

"I'm not actually sure- oh, not again, I thought we found all of us!"

He looked to be about Dusk's age, or possibly a bit older. He was wearing a pale gray tunic and hat, with darker gray leggings and some brown boots. There was a two-bladed sword on his back, with the steel strips interweaving with each other and alternately colored green and blue. His hair was pale blond and his eyes were blank white. He had what looked almost like... war paint on his face, thick angular stripes of red on his cheeks and a thick blue down-point on his forehead.

_"__Have you met me before?"_

"Well no, not exactly. But I know you look a lot like me, and I know a bunch of other guys who look a lot like you too."

The man shifted his stance slightly. _"__So it worked after all..."_

Mask frowned. "Say what?"

_"__That is unimportant,"_ the pale hylian said. _"__What is important is my question. What are you doing here?"_

"My friends and I are fighting a mask called Majora," Mask explained. "I was given a mask called the Fierce Deity and I was trying to use it to help fight, but... well, I ended up here instead."

_"__The... Fierce Deity?"_

"That's what I was told," Mask shrugged. "I guess you would be him, then?"

The man was silent, appearing to be mulling something over. _"__...I have been called that. A long, long time ago. So long ago that it no longer fits."_

Mask tilted his head. "Would you rather me call you something else then? Because I've gotta call you something, I can't just keep referring to you as 'that tall pale creepy guy'."

Said guy twitched one corner of his mouth upwards ever so slightly. _"__You may call me... Oni."_

"Why 'Oni'?"

_"__It was another name I was given. This one however, was more accurate."_

Mask shivered.

_"__I have no interest in harming you,"_ Oni told him. _"__But neither do I have interest in helping you. Tell me why you are here."_

Mask frowned. "I told you. We're fighting Majora, and I tried to use the mask to battle."

Oni shook his head. _"__Why."_

"What do you mean, why?"

_"__Exactly what I said. Why are you here?"_

"I already told you!"

_"__No. You told me _how_you are here. You have not told me why."_

Mask narrowed his eyes. "I don't know what you want from me!"

_"__Then figure it out." _With that, Oni turned and began to walk away, fading out with every step.

"Get back here!" Mask yelled. "My friends are fighting and I need to help them!"

Oni continued walking away.

"At least tell me how to get out of here!"

Oni paused briefly. _"__...No." _He took one more step and vanished completely, leaving a confused and rather indignant Mask alone in a world of white.

* * *

"THE BOMB WAS COMPLETE OVERKILL!" Blue screamed at Shadow as the Links ran around the circuit of the room with an absolutely furious and somewhat singed Majora right behind them.

"Totally worth it," Shadow smirked.

"IF WE SURVIVE THIS I WILL KILL YOU AFTERWARDS!"

Shadow somehow managed to yawn and look bored while in the process of running for his life. "Let me know how that goes."

"AAARRRRRRRGGGHHH!"

**_BURN, ELFLINGS! BURN!_** Majora shrieked in tandem.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Shadow muttered.

It should be noted that once one has spent time in the presence of the mentally deranged, the intimidation factor of the threats go down significantly. Shadow being who he was already gave him advantage in this department. Combine that with his previous experience with the mask and he essentially took nothing that Majora did seriously.

Essentially.

There were a _couple_ things Majora could do that would get on Shadow's nerves, but... well, they were better left unsaid.

"FIRE ALL PROJECTILES!" Lore bellowed, and the Links who weren't in immediate danger promptly shot Majora with multiple arrows of various kinds. The result of this was that Majora was impaled with regular arrows, frozen in ice, thawed (and then burned) by fire, exploded by bombs attached to arrows (courtesy of Dusk), and seared by light.

Naturally, all this caused some damage. Majora lost control of its flight path and began flipping over itself, leaking something red that hovered in the air around its body. It began trembling, vibrating, almost, and then-

It grew a leg.

Lore screeched to a halt and gaped, only to get bowled over by the rest of the Links who had been running behind him. They all tumbled into a ill-tempered heap.

"Vio, I _swear_, if it's you on my leg this time I will-"

"It's not me," Vio interrupted. Blue frowned.

"Then who..." He turned his head to see a slightly traumatized Red laying frozen on top of his leg.

"Ah... sorry, Red. I didn't mean that."

"You sure?" Red squeaked, sounding higher pitched than usual.

"Definitely. And- Lore you idiot, why'd you stop!?"

"Majora is doing pirouettes," Lore said dumbly.

The group paused at that, then hurriedly disentangled themselves and stood up. Sure enough, Majora had grown two more arms, a leg, and an eyeball and was racing around the room alternating between ballet and Russian folkdancing.

"...Well that's just strange," Steam said. As if Majora had heard him, the... well, it was more of a marionette now, shot out a stream of multicolored energy spheres that exploded on contact with the ground.

"**We think it heard you!**" the Four cried as they dodged.

Majora started racing around the room again, occasionally stopping to aim a kick at one of the Links or attempt to disembowel someone with fancy footwork. That, and the fact that it apparently had some sort of choreography that made hitting the marionette much harder.

"Oh, this is gonna take a while," Wind groaned. Then dodged.

* * *

They were here.

Finally, they were here.

And oh, how _fun_ it was!

Their fear as they dodged, trying with all their pitiful might to survive.

Their pain when an attack connected, the sound their feeble bodies made as they slammed on the ground, the walls, the ceilings...

_This_ was pleasure.

The only regret Majora had was that it would eventually come to an end. But, even that would lead to a different sort of pleasure. One where the mask was free from the confines of Demise and free to destroy anything in the way. The Moon would crash, Termina would _burn_... And so would everything else.

Burn.

_Burn in my fire._

* * *

Ocarina, standing guard over the unconscious Mask, shot Majora in the chest as it attempted to drop-kick Sketch across the room. Luckily it only got as far as dropping him before the arrow hit, and the marionette proceeded to collapse on the ground and throw what looked like a... temper tantrum?

"...The more we fight this thing the more confused I get," Dusk decided. "Why on earth is it doing that?"

"Maybe it likes to troll?" Lore suggested. Majora pounded the floor with its fists again as he said this and made a whiny, wailing noise.

"Yeah well, it annoys me," Sketch growled, hoisting himself off the floor. He glared at the marionette, drew his sword and Spin-Attacked.

"And that's for trying to use me for a football!" he snapped. And then promptly sprinted to the other side of the room as Majora leapt onto its feet, did a hot-floor dance, and attempted to commit murder through ballet.

"**Anyone else wonder why it stopped talking?**" the Four wondered from a safe distance. They had all four of their bows drawn and aimed though, just in case.

"Oh yeah, it hasn't threatened us with burning alive in at least three minutes," Steam agreed. "Maybe it lost vocal chords when it grew limbs?"

"**...But it never had vocal chords in the first place.**"

"Hmph. Good point. Maybe-"

"PAY ATTENTION TO THE DANCING DEATH PUPPET!" Gen roared as he streaked by, followed by the majority of the rest of the Links. They in turn were being chased by Majora, which was once again doing the Russian Folk Dance and narrowly missing their heads with every kick.

"Sweet Din!" Steam yelped and dove out of the way, crash-landing awkwardly on the floor. The Four hustled to the left, releasing their arrows as they did.

Unfortunately, they missed.

"New theory!" Steam exclaimed from the floor. "It's concentrating so much on the limbs and the dancing that it doesn't have time to threaten us verbally!"

The Four watched Majora prance around the room while executing a high-skill pirouette without getting dizzy. "**...Speaking of which, why the heck is it ****_dancing?_**"

Meanwhile, Speck had returned to his usual size when Majora wasn't looking and was using the pirouetting as a tracking opportunity. He'd noticed that Majora paused for a small second after it stopped spinning and before it started running. If he could time it right...

_Wait for it... wait for it...wait for-DODGE! Okay, good, still alive. Wait for it... There!_

The arrow was released, and Majora went down, once again throwing a fit on the floor. It really was rather odd.

"Nice shot!" Realm complimented, coming up beside Speck. He wasn't out of breath in the slightest. In fact, the way he was breathing suggested he'd just taken a leisurely stroll in the park.

The rest of the group really envied his stamina sometimes.

"I just watched for an opening," Speck replied, feeling somewhat awkward at the praise. "Um... are we going to hit it now, or...?"

"Oh yeah," Realm remembered. "Everybody stab the thing!"

Everybody rushed in and duly stabbed the thing.

At this point, Majora had taken a good bit of damage. So, naturally, it responded by doing what all exceedingly overpowered villains do in a final fight.

He went to his Final Form.

It involved a lot of disgusting noises, some shrieking, more disgusting noises as various body parts were moved around, muscles, something that sounded disturbingly like a heartbeat, and silence.

And then one more _squelch_ing noise as Majora ripped two thick whips out of its arms.

"...Oh, that's nasty," Gen cringed.

The creature threw it's head back and let out a savage-sounding whoop, then thrashed its arms – and by extension, its whips – around in a dark red whirlwind. Caught off guard, not all the Links got out of the way in time. Sketch, Blue and Vio, Lore, and Steam were all hit by the cutting ropes.

"_FARORE_ THAT STINGS!" Blue shrieked as the whip lashed across his chest.

"Be glad it wasn't your stomach," Vio grunted, one hand pressed on his shoulder. He'd been caught turning to run and as such had a lot of damage concentrated in one spot. "It's hard to drink a health potion when your stomach is hanging out."

Blue opened his mouth to make a retort but got sidelined by Green yelling, "Argue later, run now!"

He decided that was good advice.

Majora didn't make a move to follow them as it would have when it was the mask or the marionette. Instead, it remained standing where it was, back haunched, arms hanging, and the whips trailing all over the floor from where they had landed. Then, suddenly, it wrenched itself upright and began lashing its arms around like it was conducting music. The whips moved accordingly and streaked around the room with a speed that once again caught the Links off guard. This time they managed to dodge, but only just barely.

"Mask awake yet?" Lore said hazily. He'd been in the process of ducking when the whips had hit, and as such only had a cut to the head. In his opinion, he was fine because he could still swing a sword. In Gen's opinion, he had a concussion from the impact and decent blood loss because head wounds bled a lot.

Ocarina had moved Mask to fit behind the barricade of the two's shields, which were what was keeping the whips from hitting the two of them earlier. "No, he's still out cold," he replied.

"Which is exactly what you're going to be if you don't drink this," Gen scolded and pushed a red potion into Lore's hands.

"Don' need it," Lore slurred. "Vio's got shoulder... break? Needs more than me."

"No, he has a deep cut," Gen corrected. "And I've already given him some potion."

"Needs his arm... swingy sword..."

"And we need you to think clearly," Gen retorted. "Now drink this, dangit!"

"Don' like trains."

Gen blinked. "What?"

"WHY NOT!?" Steam roared.

"Chu Chu," Lore mumbled. "Chugga Chugga Chu Chu... tastes bad."

"I didn't get this from a Chu," Gen said through gritted teeth. "I got it from a Potions Master."

"Is it strawberry?"

Gen took a very deep breath. "Sure. Let's go with that."

"Don' like strawberry."

Gen just about broke the bottle, he was squeezing it so hard. A few feet away, Majora's whips slammed into the shield barricade for the umpeenth time. "...Then what flavor _do_ you like?"

"Kumquat..."

Gen paused. Beside him, Realm frowned and whispered, "What the heck is a kumquat?"

"I have no idea," Gen hissed back. To Lore, he said, "Well that's perfect then, because I've got this kumquat flavored potion right here. Do you want it?"

"Yay..." Lore said, reaching for the bottle. He began drinking it slowly, but gained more enthusiasm the more he had.

"Finally," Gen grumbled. He turned to Sketch and Steam who both had whip cuts on their legs and said, "And you two had better not have any flavor opinions, 'cause if you do I swear..."

"Actually, I just wanted to ask if we had any of Grandma's soup left," Steam said, with Sketch nodding in agreement. Gen paused mid-rant and blinked.

"Could've said so in the first place," he muttered as he pulled out two soup-filled bottles and handed them to his patients.

Lore appeared next to him, holding out the now-empty bottle with a frown on his face. "This wasn't kumquat," he said.

"I thought you were joking! You had a _concussion!_"

"Why would I ever joke about kumquats?"

"Because you're you," Gen sighed. "I'm not having this argument. Anyone else need a potion while we're barricading?"

Everyone who wasn't unconscious sounded off a negative.

"Right." He peered over the shields set up at Majora, who let off another sequence of whoops and threw the whips around again. They clanged off the shields with a metallic noise.

"So can we go then?" Shadow asked impatiently. Where his wounds had gone, no one was really sure. Then again no one was really sure about anything Shadow did. "I still have a bomb or two I'd like to use..."

Blue glared at him angrily. "_No more bombs._"

Shadow shrugged. "Fine... I'll make sure to use them in a open area next time. Happy?"

Blue clearly wasn't happy, but he was also a bit too angry to make a coherent complaint about it.

"Work it out later, guys," Green warned. "Preferably when we're not about to die."

"So we're good, then?" Lore checked. Everybody nodded. "Great. Break!"

* * *

Mask officially hated the color white.

He'd discovered, on accident, that if he placed an item into the whiteness said item would be assimilated. That being said, when the white bomb's white wick caught on white fire to warn him about the white explosion, he was more than a little annoyed.

Eventually, he just gave up and sat on what he _thought_ was the chair. On the other hand, it could have been the table. But then again, it could also be that thing he'd run into earlier.

...He basically had no idea.

He wondered how the rest of the group was doing. He knew they were fighting Majora, but as far as that went, anything could be happening. It wasn't like Oni was any help. Mask hadn't seen the guy since he'd walked away and vanished into the thin white air.

He sighed and perched his head in his hands. At this rate he was going to be stuck here forever, because he had no idea how to get out and Oni hadn't seemed willing to share that information. Geez, was this what Ocarina had to look forward to as him? Half an epic adventure and then stuck in a formless white nothing for the rest of forever?

"Can't do that to him," Mask mumbled. He stood back up with a sigh and glanced around for the umpteenth time. "At the very least I need to learn the way out so he can learn the way out... curse time-travel participles."

_"__A paradox?"_

"Holy-!" Mask yelped, spinning frantically. Oni was standing a few feet behind him, observing with a neutral expression. "Don't _do_ that to me, man..."

_"__Time,"_ Oni said quietly. _"__You have experience there?"_

"Er... well, more than the average person I guess..."

_"__I see." _Oni nodded introspectively.

Mask waited for a few seconds. Then a few more. "...So, are you gonna help me get out now?"

Oni sighed. _"__You cannot leave if you do not know why you came."_

Mask groaned. "This again? I don't know what you want me to say! I already told you how I got here. I don't know what else there is."

Oni furrowed his brow, white eyes narrowing. _"__...Let me tell you a story."_

"I don't have time for a story!" Mask snapped. "I need to get back and help my group!"

_"__Why?"_

"...What kind of question is that?"

Oni closed his eyes impassively. _"__And that is why you will listen. So?"_

Mask sighed heavily. "Eh, what the hay. Not like I'm going to get anything else done in here."

_"__Sit,"_ Oni said, nodding his head towards the white ground. Mask did so, and Oni crouched a few feet in front of him.

_"__A very long time ago, there was a war,"_ Oni began. _"__The demons of the world rose up and endeavored to wipe the goddess' creations from the face of the earth. To save the people, the goddesses formed a plan to send them into the sky."_

"That sounds like where Gen comes from," Mask said. Oni tilted his head.

_"__Gen?"_

"Well, that's what we call him," Mask elaborated. "If you wanna get real technical, his full nickname is Genesis. He doesn't like it much though."

_"__...First...?"_

"That's what Vio said it meant," Mask agreed.

Oni considered that for numerable seconds before beginning to smile ever so slightly. _"__I find that... amusing."_

"Why's that?" Mask asked, interested.

_"__I am getting to that. Now, among the people was a young man favored by the goddesses. He chose to take it upon himself to pick up his sword and fight against the demons, to ensure the survival of the people."_

"Sounds like he had a hero complex," Mask snickered. "I've got one of those too. Drives me nuts sometimes."

_"__...Indeed. But, though he was a fierce warrior, he was only one man. Eventually he was captured by the enemy forces and imprisoned. For many days the creatures tried to break him, to make him tell them how to reach the goddesses, but they could not make him talk. After time, he was left to his own devices and forgotten in the dungeons of the demons."_

"...That's harsh," Mask said, wincing.

_"__The goddesses took notice of their favored warrior then, and sent him help. In a surprise attack on the enemy, he was freed and once more given the tools to fight the battle he had devoted himself to. _

_"__It was about this time that the goddess' plans to save the people were put into motion. The people were gathered on a slab of stone, and that piece of earth was sent skyward. But the warrior stayed behind."_

"What? Why?" Mask asked in surprise.

_"__The leader of the demons had caught wind of the goddess' plans. He sent the entirety of his army to stop the goddesses from lifting the people out of his reach. The warrior knew that if the demons were allowed to reach the people, all would be lost. And so, he chose to remain, to fight off the demons until his people were safe."_

"...Dang," Mask mumbled.

_"__That day, the warrior fought like he had never fought before,"_ Oni said. _"__He cut down monster after monster, felling hundreds with his blade and not caring about the injuries he received in return. All his energy was focused on one thing: making sure his people would be safe. Nothing else mattered to him in that moment. _

_"__But nothing can last forever, and so it was true with the warrior as well. Once the people were safely out of reach, the warrior's will to fight dimmed and he succumbed to his wounds. In sorrow, the goddesses made him a promise as he lay dying. _

_"__There would always be one of his blood to protect the people. Always, there would be one like him who would rise up against the evils that would threaten that which he had given everything for. And they made it so that he would be remembered..."_

At this point, Mask was so caught up in the story that he didn't even have a comment. Oni let the silence sit for a few seconds before saying, _"__Why did he do it?"_

Mask thought for a minute. "He... was protecting what was important to him. He didn't care what he had to give in order to accomplish his goal. He would do anything to keep them safe."

Oni nodded slowly in approval. _"__So then, why was he there?"_

"Because..." Mask answered slowly, "...he chose to be. He knew what could happen to him and he chose it anyways. Because if he didn't everything he cared about would be lost. And because... well, I guess because if he didn't, who would?"

_"__Very good,"_ Oni said. _"__You have passed."_

Mask paused. "Say what now?"

_"__The warrior was the original Hero,"_ Oni told him. _"__Every legend, every story you have ever heard about the Hero originated with him. The one who saved the people, the one who made all the Heroes to come a possibility. Him. He is reflected in you. And the reason he stayed behind on the earth is the same reason you are here."_

"I never knew that..." Mask said thoughtfully. "Now I kinda wonder why we never met him."

_"__Now, you have a choice,"_ Oni said. _"__You can return to the battle and join your friends as you are..."_

"I sense an 'or' coming," Mask grinned.

_"__Or,"_ Oni continued with an ever-so-slight smile, _"__you can return to the battle and join your friends as I am."_

Mask blinked. "As you are? Why? Wait, that won't turn everything white, would it?"

_"__There were few who knew the warrior when he was alive,"_ Oni said. _"__Often, his ferocity in battle and his willingness to kill was frightening to the people. To them, he was a demon in his own right, and they called him as such."_

Mask frowned. "That seems... kinda jerkish. Doesn't really answer my- hang on..."

_"__To the demons, however, he was known by something more... elaborate."_ Oni continued._ "__Odd, considering the mental capacities of most demons, but given by them nonetheless. To them, he was known as the Fierce Deity."_

Mask gaped. "You... You're... What?!"

_"__It is nice to meet you, Hero of Time,"_ Oni said, inclining his head. _"__I am honored to see that my kin are still able to carry my conviction."_

"But – demon – Gen – mask?!"

_"__I can and will explain later,"_ Oni said firmly. _"__However, I believe that right now your friends and counterparts could use some help?"_

"Right. _Right_," Mask said, shaking himself out of his disbelief. "Now, uh, how does this work...?"

_"__You say 'Hit this', and I say, 'How hard?'" _Oni said, suddenly deadly focused. Mask's instincts promptly screamed at him to _get as far away from this man as possible _before it was too late. He swallowed, hard.

"You've uh, got a bit of murder intent going on there," Mask said nervously. "You mind toning it down a little? I'm having a hard time convincing myself not to run... screaming... in terror..."

_"__I would not harm you, nor your counterparts,"_ Oni assured him, though still with that look in his eyes. It was the kind of look that said, 'Touch me and die. Touch my family and die. Touch my friends and die. If you hurt them, I will end you. Now that we've got that out of the way, would you like a cookie?'

For some reason, that just made it all the more terrifying.

* * *

Majora had ridiculous aim with those whips.

Not only that, but whenever someone got too close for the creature's liking, it would leap the entire diameter of the room and land on the other side. Alternatively, it would sometimes spin out of the way, ballet style. But that maneuver had a whole different set of problems because the whips would splay out and streak though the air to slice anyone getting too close.

And all the while, Majora kept whooping. It was loud and incredibly high-pitched, and it almost sounded tribal. Savage. Like it was hunting.

Therefore, the Links had decided very quickly that long-range was the best tactic in this case. But even then, someone would get hit by a whip regardless of where they were standing. In one particular instance, Dusk had been on the exact opposite side of the room, literally as far away from Majora as he could be, when a whip came in and slashed him on his collarbone.

Gen quickly decided that unless a wound was life or fight-threatening, the potions could wait until after the battle. He had a limited supply, after all.

All things considered, though, the Links seemed to be losing. They tried to hit Majora with their arrows, but the creature would swing its whips around and knock all the projectiles from the air before they could even hit. They'd tried close-up combat earlier in the fight, but that had turned out to be an incredibly bad idea, as Realm had nearly had his head taken off and nobody was willing to risk it again.

But then-

"GUYS!" Ocarina bellowed. "MASK IS UP!"

Lore ducked behind his shield as a whip flashed by and yelled, "TELL HIM TO GET HIS BUTT OUT HERE THEN!"

"Uh... I'm not sure that's a good idea," Ocarina said, much quieter. Despite their impending danger of decapitation, the rest of the group turned to see what had Ocarina so surprised.

Mask looked... well, different. Not like himself. Paler, that was for sure, with paint on his face and a helix sword on his back. But his eyes were completely white. No iris, no pupil, nothing. Just blank.

And they were dangerously narrowed.

"Umm... Mask?" Ocarina asked hesitantly. "You doing al-"

_"__Move aside."_

Ocarina flinched. "...Are you sure you're-"

_"__I do not wish to harm you, but if you do not move out of the way, I cannot guarantee your safety. Move. Aside."_

Ocarina decided it might be a good idea to move. Mask stepped past him and walked out into the main area of the battle, moving past the rest of the Links and towards Majora.

"What's wrong with him?" Red whispered as he went by.

"I don't think that's Mask right now," Dusk replied softly. "I think that's someone else."

_"__Well reasoned,"_ the man who was clearly not Mask said without actually turning to face them. _"__Now please, move away so that I do not accidentally kill you by proximity."_

"Well that's just peachy then, isn't it," Shadow grumbled. He then decided talking might have been a mistake as the pale man's head slowly turned, and his white eyes locked onto Shadow's red ones.

_"__You... are not mine."_

Shadow twitched. "The heck does that mean?"

The man kept looking at him, even when Majora let out another whoop and flailed its whips around again. He didn't even notice when they scored the ground on all sides.

_"__No... not entirely,"_ the man corrected himself. _"__An... echo? Not all Hero, clearly... but not evil either... Half-mine."_

"I am not _anyone's,_" Shadow snarled. It went completely unregistered as the stranger turned his head back to Majora, clearly satisfied with whatever he had concluded about the dark Hylian.

_"__And you,"_ the pale man said, addressing Majora. _"__You would destroy my legacy, for fun? Because you can? So be it. Know that what I do now, is merely a result of your own actions."_

* * *

'So... what are you going to do to Majora?'

_'I will give the abomination what it deserves. Nothing more, nothing less.'_

'_That's_ specific. Is this part of that whole, I say attack, you say how hard thing?'

_'...If that is how you make sense of it.'_

'Let's go with that. While we're talking, am I gonna have any control over this, or am I just along for the ride?'

_'I am borrowing your body to manifest my own. You have called me, and I will respond.'_

'So, that'd be a 'No', then?'

_'If that is how you make sense of it.'_

'Okay... once again, real specific there, Oni.'

_'You are fortunate that I am familiar with sarcasm, young one.'_

'Don't you start on me. So, now that I've pointed out what to hit, is there anything else I should do?'

_'Watch my actions to make sure I am not being too brutal. I have been told I go too far sometimes.'_

'I'll... do that.'

_'My thanks.'_

* * *

Oni watched Majora impassively as it screeched and lashed out with it's whip-like appendages. He was aware of his spirit descendants yelling and dodging behind him, but they were inconsequential at the moment. He could afford to worry for them after the threat had been dealt with. The young one who had called him had pointed this creature as the target, and Oni could see why some would consider it to be a formidable opponent.

Key word being _some_.

Majora had been staring at him for some time, but now it made it's move. With another high-pitched whoop, the creature lashed out with it's whips again, aiming directly for Oni. Who merely sidestepped, drew his Double Helix sword, and slashed the weapon through the air sending white-blue energy streaking back towards his enemy. Majora had no time to dodge as the magic hit hard, and the creature fell to one knee, slumped.

Oni sprinted forwards and, with unbelievable speed, landed a sequence of blows on Majora all laced with the same energy from his projectiles. Each blow elicited another whoop from the creature, though these sounded more pain-filled than before.

Then Majora pulled itself together enough to make an escape, and leaped to the other side of the room before lashing out with its whips one again. Oni tracked it impassively.

_"__...Impressive. Not many can say they lasted beyond my first attack." _He lifted his sword and pointed it at Majora. _"__Unfortunately, all this will bring you is more pain before you finally succumb. Prepare yourself, creature."_

He charged.

* * *

The pale white god was a threat. Majora acknowledged this. What it couldn't understand was how this... _man_ got here. It had heard the stories of the Fierce Deity, from the ancient times and the ancient battles, of how one sole Hylian had slain thousands of its brethren. But he had died in those times, in those battles. So how was he here? How could he be the one causing the pain?

The white-eyes ran towards him again. Majora lashed out with its whips, but the Deity seemed not to even notice.

And Majora felt afraid.

* * *

'Dude! You are _awesome! _How'd you even _do_ that?'

_"__Praise acknowledged, but please refrain from speaking unless absolutely necessary. This foe requires some... concentration.'_

'Right. Sure. I can do that. Sorry.'

* * *

"Okay, that's most definitely not Mask," Ocarina decided.

"Oh, this guy is _way _cooler than Mask could ever hope to be," Lore enthused. Ocarina glared at him.

"That's me you're talking about, you know!"

"Not yet it isn't," Lore said childishly. "When it _is_ you, _then_ you can take offense. But not until, got it?"

"Oh, most definitely," Ocarina said with a somewhat concerning smile.

* * *

Oni dodged the incoming whips with a grim determination. The creature was resilient, he would admit that. It seemed far more intent on keeping him away then before. Lashing with its whips, spinning to hold a circumference, leaping when he got too close. Of course, Oni had his own tricks, namely his sword's projectiles. Nothing Majora tried could keep them away, and the creature got hit far more times than it landed one.

Then, Oni saw an opening in the flying whips and took it without hesitation. He darted in, right up to Majora's legs, and swung a two-handed blow straight into the knees. Majora screeched and slumped heavily, giving Oni a much better range to work with. His one weakness, that he could never fix, was the fact that he was only about five feet tall.

When he was alive, it had annoyed him to no end. Although it was fun to kill the demons who underestimated him because of it.

He delivered blow after blow to Majora's body, discharging more of the blue-white energy into his foe's body and causing more and more damage with every strike. Then he paused, sword held ready for the final blow.

_"__When you join your allies, remember this,"_ Oni told the creature. _"__Remember who I am and remember why you know. Remember the reason I defeated you, and when you return to your own, tell them. For the reason why I won is the reason why _they _will."_

And he plunged his sword in right between Majora's two, wide, unblinking yellow eyes.

* * *

The room began shaking. Majora's body dissolved and was replaced with the usual black hole. Everything was vibrating. The walls were fading out, the floor was fading everything was fading...

White.

* * *

"They're awake!"

The Links came to lying on the ground with a concerned Tatl and Tael hovering over them. The sky was blue and notably Moon-free. Shadow was distinctly smoking due to the fact that he was in sunlight, and with a lot of pain-filled cursing dragged himself to the shade under the nearest tree.

And the Fierce Diety mask was lying on the ground next to the actual Mask, who was blinking blearily at the clouds.

"Remind me to never, _ever_ do that again," Realm groaned, facedown in the grass. "I have never been so thoroughly confused in my life. And coming from me, that's saying a _lot._"

Dusk pushed himself into a sitting position. "I take it this means we won?"

"Well, the Moon's gone," Lore noted, also sitting up now. "And since we don't appear to have died a flaming, painful death, I would assume yes."

"Oh, that was so not fun," Steam grumbled. "I preferred Malladus. Much more sensible."

"We revealed his weak point by playing a song," Dusk reminded him.

"It was more sensible than this mess, okay?"

"Not gonna argue about that one," Lore said, standing up and wincing. He'd gotten more whip-cuts during the fight, most of them on his legs. "I look like I'm wearing red fishnet."

"Oh, that reminds me," Gen cut in. "Anyone who needs a potion, now's a great time for it!"

He was suddenly a very popular Link.

"By the way, Mask, _what the heck was that?!_"

Everyone paused in their bottle-opening to look at their friend in curiosity. Mask blinked.

"Uh, well... that was Oni."

Vio frowned. "And who exactly is Oni?"

Mask grinned. "Gen, you're not gonna like this. Turns out, you're not the first one after all."

Gen thought about that, then shrugged and went back to handing out bottles. "Eh, I'll live."

"Kinda hoping for a better reaction," Mask muttered. "Anyways, turns out there was this war before any of us, right? Oni was a hero who fought in the war, and when he died the goddesses made him a promise that there would always be someone to protect the people. That's us, guys."

"Cool..." Red breathed, eyes sparkling.

"I agree it's cool," Wind said. "But what was he... Oni, doing inside a mask?"

Mask furrowed his brow. "I don't actually know. I didn't think to ask, and he didn't really volunteer the info..."

He stooped down and picked up the mask with Oni's face. "I guess I could ask him... hang on a sec."

He put on the mask and promptly dropped to the ground. The group stared.

"...Is he gonna do that every time he puts that thing on?" Steam asked.

"Kinda looks that way..."

Suddenly, the mask fell off Mask's face, and the boy blinked at the sky for a second before growling, "Well that was helpful."

"**What'd he say?**" the Four asked curiously.

"Well, I asked him how he got in a mask. He didn't respond, so I asked if he was going to answer me. He said no. And then he kicked me out because I was using his mask to ask stupid questions and not because there was something he could hit."

Everyone blinked.

"...I guess he'll tell us when he's ready," Realm decided.

Tael took the opportunity to check on the Skull Kid and let out a squeal of excitement. "Skull Kid's okay!"

Sure enough, the small wooden scarecrow boy was standing a few feet off to the side, looking up at the sky. He had a strangely beak-looking mouth and two small eyes that looked like embers.

"Did... did you save me?"

The Links glanced between each other. Technically, Oni had been the one to take Majora out, but since he didn't seem keen on being around at the moment...

"Probably," Lore said. Gen whacked him upside the head.

Skull Kid ignored that and considered Lore's answer for a minute. "...Then... would you be my friends?"

"Absolutely," Mask agreed. The Skull Kid smiled and hobbled forward on his wooden limbs, then sniffed the air around the Links.

"You have the same smell as the fairy boy who taught me that song," he said, pointing at Mask. His eyes roamed over the group and stopped on Ocarina, where they widened considerably. "And you look like him!"

Mask and Ocarina exchanged glances. "Would that be Saria's Song?" Ocarina asked slowly.

The Kid shrugged. "I dunno what it was called, but it was catchy! I used to play it a lot, before I came here."

Ocarina tilted his head. "You mean you're from Hyrule-"

"I know! Let's do something!" the Skull Kid burst out, completely overriding Ocarina's question. The group stared at him.

"Well now... this is interesting."

The group turned to see the Happy Mask Salesman standing a few feet away, looking up at the sky. "The mask appears to have gone, but I still sense... an evil..."

He turned to the group, eyes closed and odd smile fixed on his face like always. "It appears you still have much work to do, young Heroes. I will not keep you, for I too have travels to complete. But make sure you keep your promise! I still do not have my mask back, and I expect you to uphold your end of the bargain..." His eyes somehow managed to glint unnervingly at that, regardless of their still being 'happily' closed. And with that, he turned and began walking away, only to pause a few steps later.

"Wherever there is a meeting, a parting is sure to follow," he said, turning his head to look at them. "However, that parting need not last forever... But then, that is up to you, isn't it?"

And he walked away.

"The people here get weirder and weirder," Blue commented.

"Yeah... oh, we need to get going," Mask said. "Majora should have left a hole around here somewhere, and we really do need to find it."

"Oh no," Lore declared. "We are whipped, both figuratively and literally, and we just went through some of the most mind-warping junk you can find. I don't care if you prank me for this or _what _you think my reasons are, _we are taking a rest_. And that's an order. Clear?"

"...Clear," Mask said, somewhat confused at the force behind Lore's sentence. Just then the sun went behind a cloud, and Shadow ventured out from his safe zone beneath the tree.

"If we're hanging around here for a bit, then I've got an errand to run," Shadow said. "Would... anyone like... to come... with... me?"

Everyone stared at him, mouths gaping.

"What!?" Shadow snapped.

"You just asked us to spend time with you," Wind said dumbly. "And I think you did it willingly."

"Who are you, and what have you done with Shadow?" Lore gasped.

Shadow gritted his teeth. "It's... occurred to me, that... this situation may have been my fault. Had I not gone ahead on my own... it's much less likely that I would have been caught. So I've... decided... to try and tolerate you people."

"...Well, it's progress," Sketch decided.

"But don't go expecting me to be a pleasant person," Shadow warned them. "I don't do _personable_. Got it?"

"Got it," the group chorused.

"Good. Now, I need to buy a cloak if I'm going to be around you people all the time, because I don't do sunshine. Who wants to pay for it?"

"...Still progress," Dusk decided. "I'll come."

"Eh, what the hay," Gen decided. "Sounds amusing."

"I can't _wait_ to see the shopkeeper's face," Blue snickered. "I'm in."

"And I'll be coming to keep Blue out of trouble," Green sighed.

"If Green's going, I wanna come!" Red piped up.

And so it went, that eventually every Link went with Shadow to buy a cloak.

The shopkeeper's face was duly hilarious.

* * *

**You guys would not ****_believe_**** my workload these past weeks. Personally I blame midterm. I now have a perfectly justifiable excuse for being so late with this chapter. **

**If you couldn't tell, I was channeling Phoenix Wright for Lore's rant. I feel it worked out well.**

**Also, this is why I rated this thing T. Partly because of paranoia, but also because Majora bumps up the rating level just by being ****_present_****. The mask's got some issues. Violent, disturbing issues.**

**Oni, by the way, means demon. I thought it fit, for what I was using the character for. And also, it's kind of a fan name. Speaking of which, what did you guys think of what I came up with? The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Pre-Skyward Sword Link, check!**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to Gabriel the zombie architect, KRPrime, Umi no Suirom, Stallord, khr1410, and Neo Rulez for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**NA: You have an interesting way of avoiding curse words. As for which Hyrule is next... Wait and See...**

**Talon: Well, it ****_is_**** an evil mask bent on the destruction of everything. If it's not creepy then there's either something wrong with the character or the player.**

**Nick Pillow: Yes, I know who the Hero's Shade is. But I'm not planning on using him, mainly because I've already addressed this via the goddesses, and also because having a dead Link is ****_really_**** creepy. And my story genres noticeably do not include Horror.**

**Fluffle Star: ...But Mask looks nothing like that in any of his games... And aside from that, I'm not using the Hero's Shade. Because it's creepy to have a dead Link running around. He's a ****_skeleton_****.**

**The has-been who never will be: Tips for a fanfic... good grammar. It doesn't matter how good your story is, if you can't spell and have no idea what proper punctuation is, nobody is going to like it. And make sure you know your franchise. Nothing infuriates fans more than a cocky ignoramus spouting nonsense about their favorite characters and acting like it's canon. **

**As for the Fierce Deity, I feel like Mask is in control. Gameplay-wise, the Deity isn't exactly a Berserker. You can still control him the same way you control regular Link. In terms of the specifics... well, you'll just have to Wait and See...**

**The Shy Potato: Well, who am I to reject new readers?**

**PokemonTrainer: Yeah, I remember that. Great Spin, I believe? I haven't forgotten, I just haven't seen a good chance to use it yet.**

**Zyrex: Sure. Lots of my readers give suggestions. The cow thing was reader-suggested, and look how funny that turned out.**


	41. Chapter 40

**So, Triforce Heroes is about fashion. Makes sense, what with the interchangeable outfits and all. Admittedly, the plot... leaves something to be desired, but since this game clearly isn't taking itself seriously I can accept that the entire thing revolves around an unfashionable jumpsuit.**

**What ****_really_**** annoys me is that this Hero, who looks like Toon Link and has ****_freaking GREEN HAIR_****, is supposed to be Sketch. Not just that, but a Sketch who's about five years older.**

**It makes no sense.**

**Sure, he's supposed to be in disguise. I understand that he's traveling around and doesn't want to be recognized. But all that excuses is his choice of outfit and maybe the green hair if he went and dyed it. It does ****_not_**** explain the facial surgery! And that doesn't even ****_begin_**** to cover the fact that there's somehow two more Links who, aside from hair color, look ****_exactly_**** like Sketch-with-facial-surgery.****_ Where the heck did they come from?!_**

**I'm not going to add this game to Dimensional Links right now. I need to figure out... basically everything regarding how this fits with what I've got established. There is most probably going to be a spin-off/sequel now because this is going to annoy me until I solve it.**

***Sigh***

**Sorry. I'm just... I'm very plot-oriented, and the fact that this game just opened up about six different plot-holes in my story irks me. Everything else I've seen is good. The co-op is fun, the gameplay is well-designed, the music is amazing as usual. Overall it's a very good ****multiplayer**** Zelda game. (Don't try single-player, it's terrible.) Nintendo has spoken the Timeline placement, and this is a Timeline-canon fanfic. I just need to buckle down and figure out a solution that is both amusing and sensical. Mostly sensical. **

**Wish me luck.**

* * *

"It's not dark enough," Shadow complained.

"That's what you said about the last _nine stores_, Shadow," Steam groaned. "Pick a cloak already!"

"I refuse to wear anything brighter than ninety-percent cool gray," Shadow insisted. "I don't do sunshine, remember?"

Wind blinked. "So, is that more of a fashion thing, or that you actually do need that percentage of gray to make sure you don't start smoking?"

"What do you think?!" Shadow snarled. Wind backed off with his hands in a 'Don't shoot me' pose.

"How about this one?" Red piped up, holding a violently bright green-and-yellow patchwork cape. Shadow stared at it incredulously, and was about to shoot Red down in his usual fashion when he made the mistake of looking at Red's face and got hit with the full force of an adorable puppy.

Even Shadow, brusque as he was, couldn't be fully immune to adorable puppies.

So instead, he rolled his eyes and said, "No," before turning around to rummage through another rack.

There was a few more minutes of silent searching before Realm spoke up. "What about this one?"

He was holding a nicely dark gray cloak with a deep hood... and a vibrantly yellow Triforce symbol emblazoned on the chest. Shadow glared at it.

"What is with you people and offering me yellow? It's literally the most cheerful color possible. You _know _how I feel about cheerful."

Realm flipped the fabric around and stared at the Triforce. "Whoops... my bad. I honestly thought it was plain on that side... I'll just put this away..."

He backed away awkwardly and vanished into the clothing racks.

Shadow let out a sigh and went back to searching, only to be interrupted seconds later by Lore popping up and saying, "How do you feel about navy?"

"Have you even _looked_ at proper color schemes?"

Lore raised an eyebrow, slightly offended. "I'll have you know-"

"He's right, Lore," Wind interrupted. "You don't want to pair navy blue with black, it just looks really bad. Since Shadow _is_ primarily black-colored, navy is actually one of the worst choices to pair with his natural tone."

Lore blinked blankly for a few seconds. "...I did not peg you as a fashionista."

Wind turned slightly red. "I've just got a few opinions on what looks good, okay? It's not that big a deal."

"If we could get back to my issue?" Shadow interrupted. "Still in need of a hood here."

"Fine," Lore sighed. "I'll go put this back."

He walked off down the aisle and disappeared around a corner. Shadow let out another sigh, this time trying to hold on to his temper. That was what had gotten them kicked out of stores two through seven, and he actually thought this shop had some good options.

...Well, if the group would stop bringing him yellow.

The next four options were discarded due to stripes, yellow stripes, navy and yellow stripes, and rayon, but not necessarily in that order. By the end of it Shadow was so very fed up with clothing that he was contemplating experimenting with the effects that a ten-foot bomb would have on the corduroy aisle. Why anyone would dedicate an entire section solely to corduroy was a mystery to him.

Unfortunately, the Four popped up with another cloak option before he could test his explosive.

"**How about this one?**" they asked, holding out four different items in their hands. Shadow raised an eyebrow at them.

"That is not 'one'."

The Four blushed. "**Well, we tried to only grab the one, but since we all reached at the same time we kinda... grabbed three extras.**"

"Okay, so which one am I supposed to be looking at?"

"**This one,**" the Four said, once again holding out all four cloaks. They twitched, collectively facepalmed, then very slowly and deliberately the red member stepped out of the formation and offered his choice to Shadow.

It was very dark, almost black but just barely not. There weren't any sleeves, but the fabric was cut so that if Shadow just let his arms hang, his entire body would be covered. The hood looked like it was designed to be fitted rather than floppy, which Shadow approved of (wind – the weather, not the Link – was the bane of hooded existence). Overall, it seemed like a valid option – except...

"What is that?" Shadow asked, examining the back of the cloak where there was a slightly lighter gray design woven in.

"**Well, when we asked the shopkeeper he... kinda had a breakdown. It's technically part of a souvenir line, like when you've got those bracelet things with random words on them? It was supposed to read 'Luck'." **

"'Death to Cows'?" Shadow read dryly.

The Four shrugged helplessly. "**Apparently this particular line gets imported from Kakariko and there's some sort of mob boss named Steve who lives there. He calls his gang the Cuccos, we think? Anyways, they've got some sort of massive rivalry with a gang here in Termina called the Cows-"**

"Steve?" Shadow interrupted. "Steve the Cucco?"

The Four blinked. "**What?**"

"Steve the Cucco. Best mob boss you'll ever meet, absolutely ruthless. He usually lives in Ocarina's Hyrule in Kakariko, something about permitting them to live as his cover of a harmless pet poultry. Man, I haven't seen that bird in ages, I wonder how he's doing?"

"**...He's an actual Cucco?**"

"Well yeah. What did you think he was?"

"**Honestly, some guy with massively uncreative naming. If he's an actual Cucco, then does that mean that the Cows...**"

"Are actual cows? Yep."

"**...Okay then. Anyways, they've got this massive rivalry between themselves. We heard the Cows have this thing where they paint badly-spelled signs saying to 'Eat Mor Cukoo' or something like that. So then Steve launched a counterstrike, and... We have no idea what happened after that.**"

Shadow considered this. "Hmph... I'd rather side with the Cuccos over the Cows any day. Besides, imagine people's faces when I walk up with the words, 'Death to Cows' written on my back."

**"****You could always get it redyed if you change your mind. It's cotton, so the coloring wouldn't be all that difficult."**

"As if I'd ever want to change a message with _this _much confusion potential."

Shadow fiddled with the cloth in his hands for a few more seconds and came to a decision.

* * *

"You just _had_ to buy the one that literally makes no sense," Blue groaned.

"Since it annoys you, I'm considering it an extra perk," Shadow smirked from deep inside his hood.

"Okay. Now that Shadow's got his sunshine protection, is there anything else we want to do in Termina?" Dusk asked.

"Not that I can think of," Mask decided. "Majora won't be a problem for now since I'm pretty sure we sent it back to Demise, and without the mask, Termina's _kinda_ normal. We should be free to leave."

"Excellent," Lore declared. "I've been wanting to get a move on. Do you have any idea how hard it is to joke about death without sounding like a complete jerk? I've been going through sarcasm withdrawal for _days_!"

The group stared.

"...You concern me, you really do," Gen told him.

* * *

The actual leaving of Termina was delayed because Realm had gotten lost somewhere back in the shop. Evidently, all the clothing racks looked alike. When Realm had walked away to return his rejected choice, he'd managed to completely lose his bearings and somehow walked straight into the shipping area without getting caught or noticing he was lost. By the time the group figured out exactly where he was, Realm had, bizarrely, gotten into the shop's mailroom and accidentally entangled himself within a ludicrous amount of packing tape, duct tape, masking tape, double-sided tape, electric tape, scotch tape, packing peanuts, bubble wrap, bubble pack, styrofoam, regular foam, cellophane, paper, newspaper, and one very large box.

And he still hadn't managed to put back the cloak.

"I think this might be your new personal record of ridiculous situations," Wind said as he teased a particularly sticky piece of duct tape out of Realm's hair.

Realm shrugged.

* * *

Tatl elected not to follow Mask through the hole, for many loud and bossily declared reasons, the main one being Tael. Other reasons included the hole looking stupid, wanting to remain unscathed by Lore's brand of crazy, not at all liking the idea of sleeping for three months (or however long it took until Mask got back), Demise sounded like a jerk, she wasn't keen in the slightest about going somewhere that wasn't her home, and she thought someone should stay behind and watch over Skull Kid.

Granted, the last reason was actually a good one.

So the Links went through the hole without taking anybody new with them.

"Which is probably a good thing," Blue reasoned. "I think our author might start having trouble balancing us if Changeling adds any more main characters."

He was promptly and mercilessly pounded into unconsciousness for breaking things.

* * *

The Links emerged from the hole one at a time and occasionally in pairs, except for the Four who were in their usual block formation. Green and Vio were supporting the knocked-out and slightly bruised Blue between themselves and were doing an admirable job considering they were only about twelve.

"So... anybody know where we are this time?" Wind asked.

"My Hyrule, I think," Sketch replied. "I still say we should've been here _before_ Termina for some reason though..."

Lore slung an arm across the shorter Link's shoulder. "Don't sweat the small stuff. We're here now, and clearly nothing broke in the process. Just enjoy the experience and try not to offend the sentient bushes while you're at it.

"Sentient... bushes?"

"Exactly. All those hearts need to come from somewhere, you know."

"...Right," Sketch said, clearly deciding to ignore his half-leader's impending mental instability. "Anyways, this might get a bit tricky depending on where Ganon-possessing-Yuga is and whether or not you guys can fake your way into Lorule without being flat."

"I remember you mentioning that," Gen frowned. "You get into Lorule by doing your painting thing and walking through the crack. I don't think any of the rest of us can imitate that..."

Sketch frowned along with him. "Yeah, that'll be a problem..."

He was silent for a good two minutes as he puzzled over the dilemma.

"...Okay," he said at length. "I know a guy who knows more than he lets on, and I might be able to convince him to lend us a few extra bracelets, if he's got them. Or, at the very least, help us hijack the Portal to let 3-D people through."

"Sounds like a valid plan," Steam nodded.

"The only thing is he's a bit... eccentric."

"Eccentric like Lore, or eccentric like the Mask Salesman?" Ocarina asked, earning himself glare from his half-leader.

"Well, I'm pretty sure he's an avid LARPer, because the only thing I've ever seen him wearing is a full-body, violently purple rabbit suit. Remember I told you guys about him way back when we first met?"

The group considered that for a moment while Shadow doubled over in mostly-silent laughter at the thought of a rabbit suit.

"...Honestly, that's no stranger than anything else we've been through," Gen decided. "Lead on."

* * *

Sketch knocked on the door of a moderately sized house. "Ravio, you in here?"

The door flew open and a large violet rabbit with freakish eyes shot out onto the stoop and began an exuberant dance with its hands thrown into the air.

"Mr. Hero!" the rabbit cried. "You haven't come by in days, buddy! I was beginning to get worried, you've still got all my stuff rented out. How am I supposed to turn a profit when all my items are lent to the missing guy?"

"Nice to see you too, Ravio," Sketch said, rolling his eyes. "Mind if we come in?"

"Sure thing, buddy. I mean, it _is_ your house. The more the merrier, right?"

"You let this guy stay in your house?" Speck asked curiously.

"We've got an agreement."

The inside of the building was nearly made entirely of wood, and was thus wood-colored aside from the large red rug in the middle of the floor. As the entire thing consisted of one room, there was a bed over in the far-left corner and a table on the right. Ravio was standing in the center of the rug and clashing somewhat oddly with the colors.

"Ravio, we've got a problem," Sketch began. "These guys are willing to help me go beat up Ganon-possessing-Yuga, but they aren't half-artwork the way I am. Do you know a way we could get everybody into Lorule?"

Ravio brought a hand up to his... well, it was probably his chin. The entirety of his head was inside a rabbit hood, so it was a bit hard to tell. "Gee, that's a tough one, buddy. I'd lend you some more bracelets, except you're wearing the only other one I've got available to give away. And I can tell you now that we don't have the power to alter one of the Portals so three-dimensional people can get through."

Sketch slumped. "You don't have any ideas at all?"

"I never said _that_," Ravio replied. "I just gotta think on the problem for a bit. Gimme a few hours and I should have something that'll probably work."

"Perfect," Sketch grinned. "We'll just let ourselves out then, give you space to work."

"Just don't go disappearing on me again, buddy!" Ravio called after them. "You've still got my rentals!"

"I missed you too!" Sketch yelled back, and closed the door firmly behind him.

"He's... a character," Dusk observed.

"If you think about it, he's almost normal compared to some of the other people we've met."

"Name one."

"Tingle," Sketch deadpanned.

The Links thought that over for a moment and nodded sagely in agreement.

"Shadow could probably fit that description too," Green pointed out. Under his hood, Shadow beamed.

"Thank you!"

"I can't believe I hang out with you guys," Sketch mourned. "Anyways, Ravio's gonna be a few hours. Any ideas to pass the time?"

Mask grew a disturbing grin on his face. "Lore and I have a... special appointment that I need to keep. Something about taking offense when I got here?"

Lore twitched. "That is entirely unfair! I told _Ocarina_ he could take offense, not you."

"Time travel," Mask said smugly. "I am Ocarina, remember?"

"Bloody timey-wimey stuff," Lore grumbled. "I thought you didn't remember all this from his viewpoint."

Mask shrugged, looking somewhat confused himself. "It kinda fills in as it happens. It's _really_ weird, but occasionally useful. Like now." With that, he whipped out the Fierce Deity and slapped it onto Lore's face, who promptly collapsed onto the ground completely unconscious.

"Nice!" Ocarina laughed, giving his younger-but-older self a high-five. "I gotta remember that for when it's me taking the offense."

"It _is_ you taking the offense," Mask corrected. "You just haven't done it yet."

"Oh yeah..."

"Not to interrupt your triumph," Gen interrupted, "but you just sent Lore to meet Oni. How long is that gonna take?"

Mask shrugged. "Well, depending on if Oni wants to get to know him and how much like himself Lore's being, I'd say... anywhere from twenty more seconds to a half-hour."

"Well, that takes care of him," Wind observed. "How about the rest of us continue that weapons contest we started back on Outset?"

"Excellent!" Steam declared. "I need to beat the Four at rapid-fire."

"**We automatically shoot four times more than you do,**" the Four told him.

"I can dream!"

* * *

Lore surveyed his completely white surroundings with minimal interest. Twenty feet across, Oni watched Lore with an equal level of interest.

_"__Hero of Legend,"_ Oni said with a nod of his head.

"Oh hey, you're that guy," Lore said, snapping his fingers and pointing. "The one who desperately needs a suntan."

Oni raised an eyebrow. _"__And you must be that guy who needs a psychiatric session. The Hero of Time had some... interesting things to say about you."_

"Which one?"

_"__The younger one who is older than he seems."_

"Oh, you mean Mask," Lore said. "Funny story, he's actually the reason I'm meeting you right now."

_"__Has he been possessed? Because I am very good at hitting the possession out of people."_

Lore flapped a hand. "Nah, the only one who's been possessed lately is me, and you can totally see I'm completely normal."

_"__...I highly doubt that."_

"Anyways," Lore continued, "why is everything so blank in here? Honestly, no wonder you're so pasty, the sunshine is nonexistent."

Oni tilted his head and glanced around at the white. _"__I am something of a minimalist. I prefer things to be simple and uncluttered."_

"That is so sad." Lore shook his head mournfully. "Have you at least considered varying your shade of white? Like, that blank white chair-thing that's somewhere in that direction-" he waved his arm vaguely to his right "-that could be _slightly_ more gray than the floor. And then I can stop tripping over the thing."

Oni considered that. _"__...I will think on it."_

"Perfect," Lore beamed. "Now, could you explain to me how you got rid of your pupils? It's a _great_ look for completely freaking people out."

_"__Has it occurred to you that this may be the reason people question your sanity?"_

"Really? I thought it was my accent."

* * *

"_Now_ they're back on schedule," Nayru announced with great satisfaction. She made a tick mark on her clipboard and nodded approvingly.

"Literally threw the entire thing off course," Din growled. "Next time, I don't care how high-up of a dimension they're in, if they want something before it's time we are telling them, 'Too Bad!' and laughing at their misery."

"Aside from that not actually being up to us," Farore said, "I don't think Courage will be going off course again anytime soon. A shocking number of these trans-dimensional beings really want to see Ravio."

"The coward in the rabbit suit?" Din snorted. "Why?"

Farore shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine."

"I believe it's because his timidness makes him more relatable," Nayru theorized. "Where Courage will jump into the pit of moblins because, why not, Ravio will have a more... appropriate reaction."

"Yes, because running in the opposite direction is _so_ heroic," Din replied with a good bit of sarcasm.

"Most people _would_ think twice before jumping," Farore reminded her sister.

"That's called common sense. _Ravio_ has paranoia."

Nayru sighed. "The _point_ of all this is, the Links are back where they're supposed to be. Ravio happens to be around, and the higher beings who stalk our lives for entertainment like him."

"I'm beginning to feel like we're just here to be funny," Din complained.

* * *

Majora was back.

Nobody was sure how to approach the mask about it. On one hand/claw/tentacle, Majora was usually one of the more levelheaded villains. On the other, say the wrong thing and they would all be burnt to as close to death as Majora could manage.

So naturally, Zant was made to go first.

_Majora lost, Majora lost, Majora lost, Majora lost, Majora lost, Majora lost,_ he chanted.

As Zant shrieked and flailed in the flames, the rest of the villains acknowledged that maybe Zant hadn't been the best tactical choice.

So Twilight Ganondorf tried next, seeing as how he could usually be counted on to have some sense about him.

_Majora_, _would you be willing to share the events of your battle? The more we know of their fighting styles the more chance Demise has of defeating them later._

As Twilight Ganondorf yelled in pain and hurriedly tried – and failed – to put himself out, the unburnt villains began to think that just _talking_ to Majora might not be the greatest idea at the moment.

So they sent Bellum to test the theory.

Two seconds later, Bellum was lying in a charred heap on the floor and didn't seem inclined to regain consciousness for at least four days.

_Right, that settles it_, Malladus decided. _Nobody talks to Majora until it either settles down or the circumstances demand it. If this keeps up we're all going to go up in flames._

Nobody was quite sure what Majora found offensive in that statement, but seeing as how Malladus was quickly reaching levels of cooked that nobody wanted to be at, everyone decided to keep their mouths shut and hope they weren't next.

Listening to all this, Demise felt very tempted to laugh. He only refrained because Majora was likely to notice him if he made any noise and he liked his mindscape functional.

* * *

The Fierce Deity dropped of Lore's face to the sound of a complicated argument. Lore blinked, grinned, pushed himself to his feet and scooped up the mask before sprinting off to see what the fuss was about.

"-can't use yourself as a projectile!"

"And why not? I've got the ability to do it, I see no reason why I can't."

"Because it's not fair to the rest of us people who _can't_ shoot pointy things from our skin."

"Do you even realize how hypocritical that is? The entire reason Dusk won the arrow competition is because he's the only one who's got that Hawkeye thing. Are you going to tell me that his win is perfectly acceptable but mine isn't?"

"Dusk isn't made of his Hawkeye."

"Of course not, that'd look ridiculous," Lore snorted as he got within speaking range. He handed off the Fierce Deity to Mask and said, "Oni says hi, by the way. Now, why can't Shadow shoot projectiles made from himself?"

"They're not really projectiles," Wind explained. "They just look pointy, then they impale something and dissipate. It's kinda hard to judge because of that."

Lore _hmm_ed for a moment. "Welp, I see two options here. One, we let Shadow have the win for overall projectiles. Or Two, we tell him no and then he goes and competes in the explosives competition. I vote explosives, personally, who's with me?"

There was a sudden and abrupt silence from everyone but Shadow, who had a maliciously large grin on his face and his hand raised high in the air.

"All those for option one?" Gen said hurriedly.

It wasn't much of a contest.

* * *

Hours later, the Links had returned to Sketch's house to see if Ravio had come up with anything. Shadow was currently inside of Dusk's... well, shadow, because, as he put it, "I don't have my tolerance to your cheerful stupidity built up properly yet." Privately, Dusk was actually a bit relieved that Shadow had chosen to take a break. Midna had been getting rather stir-crazy lately, and would poke thoughts into his head at the most unhelpful times.

It would be nice for her to have someone to insult to their face again.

As for the rest of the group, they were getting a long-winded explanation of exactly how Ravio had come up with his plan. But since the Links only really cared about the end result, most of them just tuned the rabbit-boy out until he got to the important part.

"-so essentially, we just need to jack the Portal open wider, but to do that we're gonna need a whole lot of energy and someone to expand the magic from _inside_ the portal."

Sketch frowned. "Wait. You mean I'd have to go and stand inside the Portal and push it open from the inside?"

"Pretty much, buddy," Ravio told him. "I investigated some other ways, but this was the option with the best results."

"...Yeah, that makes sense," Sketch acknowledged. "But how much energy are we going to need and where are we going to get it? And for that matter, how are we going to store it until release?"

Ravio shrugged. "I was kinda hoping you'd have some ideas on that, buddy."

"Great..."

"Um... Mask and I have bottles of magic," Ocarina volunteered. "It's how we power our Light Arrows."

"Mind if I use a few?" Sketch asked. "I don't think we're going anywhere otherwise..."

"No problem."

"Sounds like you've got yourself a plan, Mr. Hero," Ravio said, applauding.

"Yeah. Now, do you guys think we should head out now, or-"

"We should get some sleep," Lore interrupted. "And I'm not saying this because I like naps, although I do enjoy them. I'm saying because we got here around midday, we spent the rest of the afternoon passing time and figuring out a travel plan, and the sun is literally a half-hour away from setting. Also, we've got a _really_ bad habit of charging into battles unprepared, and it's nearly killed us twice. We're going tomorrow. Any questions?"

"Since when are you responsible?" Gen asked, somewhat amused.

"I am not responsible. I just happen to like not almost-dying."

* * *

"Interesting decoration choices," Shadow remarked, glancing around at the passable replication of the Twilight Realm in Dusk's shadow. "I still think the little black squares are annoying, but then again I don't live in here."

Midna scowled at him. "Are you here to insult me, tell me we're back in Hyrule and I can come out, or getting away from the stupidity outside?"

"Mostly three, little bit of one."

"...I was hoping you'd say two."

"Nah, we're still in for the long haul," Shadow yawned. "When we get back though, I'll pop in and let you know."

"Well that's interesting. Are you being nice?"

"Don't get your hopes up," Shadow snorted. "You insult the Links almost as much as me. I enjoy their reactions to your snark, is all."

"Oi. Insulting the little wolf is _my_ territory. You find your own victim to terrorize."

Shadow smirked and spread his hands imploringly. "Can't I make them all my victims?"

"Greedy copy."

"Selfish imp."

"Useless echo."

"Ooh, good one. Lopsided midget."

"Blood-eyes."  
"Cyclops."

"How original of you. Thieving shade."

"Malformed child."

"Black abomination."

"Patchwork doll"

"Shape-stealer"

"Cackling witch."

"Eldritch thing."

There was a moment of silence while both Midna and Shadow tried to think of more insults. Then Midna started chuckling.

"Oh, thanks for that. You have no idea how _boring_ it is in here. I needed a good fight with someone."

"Happy to oblige," Shadow mock-bowed. "You're quite honestly the only person I know who I can properly trade insults with. When you're ready, I'd be willing to have another round."

"What makes you think I can't go another round right now?"

"I have no doubt that we both could. I'm just not in the mood anymore."

Minda rolled her visible eye and dropped from the air onto one of the black leather couches. There were a few minutes of a comfortable silence before Shadow spoke up again.

"By the way, 'Eldritch thing'? Really, 'thing' was the best you could come up with?"

"I'd already used all the words that implied you''re just taking someone else's face, and recycling an insult is beneath me," Midna sniffed. "Given time, I can come up with a _much _better word to follow 'Eldritch'. I simply didn't bother in the moment."

"Well then, I'll expect to be impressed next round when you unveil your improved insult."

"And don't you forget it!"

* * *

**Happy Halloween! Sorry I haven't made an appropriately creepy chapter in celebration, but I'm not very good at creepy. In replacement, a lot of this chapter has Shadow in it, so... close enough.**

**Now, since Shadow's got a cloak, he'll be around more. He might not say much, but you can generally assume he's in the vicinity.**

**Steve the Cucco is actually from my first story ever on this site. Go read it and marvel at how far I've come :) And in case no one caught it, there was a very strong reference to the 'Eat Mor Chikin' slogan used by the Chik-fil-A cows.**

**And now, everyone, we have Sketch's Hyrule. And Ravio. And yes, I have read ALL your reviews asking if he will join the Links. Please, PLEASE do not send me more messages asking this question AGAIN. I've answered it about thirty times already and I'm getting ever so slightly tired of it.**

* * *

**Thanks to EMSNaruto, Doomkiller10, Picu, Prime utopia warriorenvoy of c, Nitro Indigo, Maddening Tumult, Tempest Soul, and Days358-2 for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**FlameEyeGamer: Yeah, I did borrow from the manga. But honestly, it made sense to me. And I'm not the kind of person to just throw in a random character for no apparent reason. Really glad you liked it though!**

**Zyrex: I''ll keep those in mind.**

**Qwertypip: Well, of course! I wouldn't go and write something without a game-base. ****_Everything_**** in my story has a basis in a game somewhere. ...Most of the time.**

**Talon: Yes, I know it says 49. But the website won't let me fix it. *glares in annoyance* The reason I used Pre-Skyward Link is because he already existed. Wii U Link is not a thing yet. He doesn't even have his game out, and judging by Nintendo announcements it won't be out until sometime winter next year! I can't put in a Link I know nothing about. When his game does come out and we know more about his personality/adventures, I will add him to... probably a spin-off. But not until.**

**LuckyLugia: Aww. Well, whatever you're doing in the meantime, I hope it goes well! As for your questions... /1. Due to the entirety of Link's Awakening being a dream, I have decided that I will not be using any of the bosses or items from it. Therefore, Dethl will not be making an appearance other than by word of mouth and annoyed mentions by Lore. 2. I was not planning on using the Mage Cap in this fic, because the manga is really rather vague on what it can do other than 'grant wishes', and I just think that's a ****_little_**** too O. for the guys to give off any sort of impression that they're actually trying. 3. Technically, they're already Time-Hopping, if you think about it. 4. Theoretically, it would be possible for the guys to get stuck somewhere/sometime in Hyrule. However, for the sake of fictional continuity that I've got going right now, that would probably be a plot for a sequel/spin-off that I may or may not get around to deciding on. 5. In my mind, no. This is a Legend of Zelda fic and I didn't plan for it to be a crossover. If it ****_were_**** a crossover, then sure. I think Demise and Hades would get along swimmingly... if they didn't kill each other first. 6. Your theory sounds interesting. I'm not actually sure how many one-man armies there are, but that could make sense./ Did I answer all your questions? **

**N/A: Well, I appreciate your avoidance. And I'm glad you liked my take on the Fierce Deity. Although I didn't actually come up with the name Oni, it's a fan-used name.**

**The has-been who never will be: No problem. As for who's next... well, Wait and See... / Well, I actually decided against Koholint. See, the entire thing was a dream. In order for Koholint to happen again, ****_all_**** the Links would have to unknowingly fall asleep at the exact same time, not to mention that the Windfish would have had to get himself caught by the exact same Nightmare as last time. Not to mention all the problems that would arise just from Lore knowing the island isn't real... Long story short, I decided against it. I'm not unopposed to having the Windfish drop by though. I might just do that. / I... don't actually know. You could always click the button and find out, I suppose.**

**Lord of Gaming: Yes. Yes I do. And thanks for pointing out that grammar mistake... I hate making those. **

**Icy: Yes, I know. But it won't let me fix it...*glares in annoyance***

**L. See Icy's answer above.**


	42. Chapter 41

**(...It is in my expert opinion, that the Universe is now avoiding me on purpose. Evidence for this consists of the fact that all the beach postcards it has sent me are actually the same beach picture that's been Photoshopped to look slightly different every single time. Curse you, Universe.**

**Okay... I do not own the Legend of Zelda. On the whole, this is probably a good thing because I don't speak Japanese and that language barrier would be one ****_heck_**** of a problem.)**

* * *

"There's a high probability that this will end badly," Sketch decided.

"No backing out now, you already agreed to it," Steam scolded.

"That was before my brain had caught up with my mouth."

The Links were gathered in front of the Portal that Sketch had led them to, specifically the one right outside Sketch's house. Sketch was laden down with half a dozen bottles of solid magic and was working up the motivation to walk in and use it. The rest of the group was standing in a cluster off to the left, along with Ravio who was doing some odd nervous tick with his hands.

Shadow was... somewhere. Probably still arguing with Midna.

"If this kills me, tell Ravio I blame him," Sketch decided weakly.

Steam frowned. "You sure that's a good idea? He seems more timid than a moblin in the Sacred Realm."

"...Okay, point," Sketch conceded. "Scratch that. Tell Lore instead."

"Can do," Steam saluted.

Sketch took a deep breath, faced the wall, and merged himself onto it-only to realize halfway through that the bottles weren't following him. There were a few successive _clinks_ as they dropped onto the ground next to the wall, and Sketch stared at them through his now-painted eyes in disbelief and a good bit of annoyance.

_You have got to be kidding me._

He phased himself off the wall, grumbling. "All that worrying and it won't even work? The heck!"

Steam, failing to keep an amused grin off his face, leaned down and gathered up the bottles. "Maybe if you put them in your bag?" he suggested. "That's how all your other items make the trip, right?"

Sketch blinked. "Yeah... good idea. I'll try that."

With the bottles now securely inside Sketch's adventure pouch, the New Hero of Hyrule once again faced the wall and phased on. This time, the bottles followed him.

"All right!" Steam grinned, running a finger over the pigment of Sketch's bag. Then he paused as something occurred to him, and moved his hand down to Sketch's knee. "If I poke you," he asked curiously, "can you feel it?"

Sketch opened his mouth to answer, realized he didn't know _and_ couldn't verbalize, and shrugged instead.

So naturally, Steam poked him.

Sketch twitched and shuffled out of the way as fast as he could manage. It hadn't hurt, but... well, he had never before realized that his knees were ticklish. And judging from Steam's expression, the Hero of Trains had just discovered this fact as well.

"Well," the unpainted boy said, "_that's_ gonna be some excellent pranking material. Do you think that applies to all us Links, or just you?"

Sketch rolled his eyes, turned, and shuffled in through the Portal crack. Steam just grinned.

"Only one way to find out," he mused to himself, and jogged off to see if Realm had ticklish knees too.

* * *

_Okay, this looks far enough in_, Sketch decided. _Now for the stupid part._

He knelt down and pulled out a hollowed-out bomb and the mutliple bottles of magic, then carefully poured the bottle contents into the explosive and lit the fuse.

Then he made an abrupt about-face and ran like there was a horde of Cuccos on his heels.

* * *

"You are not tickling my knees," Realm ordered.

"It's an experimental test in the relation of our similarities and whether or not more than our appearance carries over!" Steam protested.

"...what?"

"Let me poke you."

"No!"

They were abruptly interrupted by a very large _BOOM_ and a now three-dimensional Sketch tumbling out of the now three-dimensional Portal.

"I am _never_ doing that again," he groaned hazily.

"Hey, it worked," Blue said. "And you didn't die, so plus!"

"I have the worst headache right now..."

"Drink a potion, you'll get over it," Lore said. "Now, any objections to going through the Portal right away?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"Excellent," Lore declared, and marched on in.

"No matter what you see in there, just keep walking!" Sketch yelled after him.

"Er... what's in there, exactly?" Wind asked.

"Well, usually nothing but a lot of pretty colors. But since Lore is... well, himself and I'm pretty sure he's 'Attention Deficit-Ooh, Shiny!', I figured I should warn him a little.

"'Attention Deficit-Ooh, Shiny!'?" Dusk repeated.

"I think it fits."

Dusk thought that over for a moment and decided that yes, it did.

* * *

"I claim copyright infingement," Lore declared.

After a moment of confused silence, Green decided to take the bait and asked. "Er... what?"

"Does this," Lore said, gesturing around, "not look exactly like the Dark World, the Twilight, and all those other Reverse places we keep stumbling into?"

The Links glanced at their surroundings.

"I... don't really see it," Speck admitted.

"You just offended Midna," Dusk added, wincing. He paused, then added, "She 's calling you a... actually, I'm not going to repeat that. ...No, I'm not calling him that! ...Tell him yourself!"

"Lorule is completely different from those places," Sketch informed his half-leader. "The Twilight is a half-lit world on another dimension accessed by a magical mirror. The Dark World is a... dimly lit world... accessed by... a magical... mirror... huh."

"You see my point?"

"Lorule is still different."

"How? It looks like a dimly-lit world that we just accessed through a magical gateway."

"But it wasn't a mirror," Sketch argued.

"Details."

"We're not having this argument right now," Sketch decided. "Come on, we're going to the Castle. Hilda's got Ganon-possessing-Yuga in her dungeon and he's the guy we probably need to smack."

From where the Portal was, the Links weren't very far from the Lorule Castle at all. In fact, it wasn't much more than a five-minute walk. The only thing that kept the group from walking right on in was the large black spider-web looking substance stretched across the door.

"Oh great," Gen shuddered. "Please tell me whatever spun that isn't still around."

_"__Hero of Hyrule, can you hear me?" _

Realm frowned. "Is your Zelda telepathic?"

"No, that's Hilda," Sketch replied. "She's... I guess you could call her Zelda's counterpart."

"Weird," Realm decided.

_"__You have arrived just in time, for Yuga has escaped his bonds and his minions are loose in Lorule Castle. Give me a moment while I remove the protective barrier, then make haste, Link!"_

"Which one of us is she talking to?"

"Sketch."

"Right."

The black web seemingly absorbed itself and vanished, allowing the door to swing open. Sketch turned around and faced the group.

"So," he started, "it sounds like there's a bit of a monster maze inside. Wanna make it a contest?"

"Sounds fun," Shadow said from out of nowhere, causing everyone to jump. He had taken his cloak off somewhere and was in his usual attire. "Any restrictions on physical maiming and/or mutilation?"

"Only if they're mindless monsters," Gen decided. Shadow let a feral grin crawl onto his face.

"_Excellent._"

"Whoever takes down the most minions wins," Dusk said. "And everyone, don't falsify about your total. I can smell when you're lying."

"I keep forgetting those senses carry over," Lore grumbled.

"I would never lie!" Red protested, tears already forming in his eyes at the thought. Dusk gave him an encouraging smile.

"I don't doubt that you'll be honest, Red. I'm mainly saying that for all the people I'm _not_ so sure about."

Blue rubbed the back of his head and let out an awkward laugh.

"Hang on, who'll keep you honest?" Steam accused.

"Midna."

Everyone considered that for a moment, then shuddered.

"Good point,"Mask agreed.

"We can meet back up at the entrance to the throne room," Sketch decided. "If nobody can tell what a throne room looks like after all the time we've spent with our individual Zelda's, there's no hope for you."

That drew a few chuckles, mostly from Shadow because he appreciated the out-down.

"Break!"

* * *

Both Wind and the Four caught up with Realm a few minutes after the Links went their separate ways, and took up a formation on all sides of him.

"...Making sure I don't get lost?" Realm asked in a resigned fashion.

"**Wind is here to navigate,**" the Four explained. "**We're here to keep you from walking into a monster ambush while he does that.**"

"...Okay, yeah, that sounds exactly like something I'd somehow manage to do," Realm admitted. "Thanks."

"**No problem****_._**"

* * *

Dusk took one look at the many gaps in the walkways and floor and promptly turned into a wolf. For one thing, he had much better mobility on four legs. For another, he was getting a little rusty with his fighting skills in this body, mostly because Gen kept borrowing the Curse Stone so much that he didn't have a chance to use it anymore.

And also, because now Gen couldn't spam his falcon form to fly through the dungeon before anyone else and it amused Dusk to see his half-leader annoyed.

Crud, Midna was rubbing off on him again. He really needed her out of his head.

* * *

Mask and Ocarina had teamed up because it made sense, and because it just naturally seemed to happen. A lot. While Mask had turned into a Goron and was happily punching the minions clear across the room, Ocarina was covering anything Mask missed by shooting it in the face with an Ice Arrow. He was using Ice because the sheer amount of lava made the Fire Arrows obsolete, and the Light Arrows really worked the best on creatures of darkness. While these minions were definitely evil, made of it they weren't.

Although, Ocarina had to wonder if really black paint pigment counted?

* * *

Green, Vio, Red, and Blue were making their way through the Castle in a back-to-back formation. They'd decided to use something else other than their swords for once, and as such had their individual items out and were using them as they saw fit. Green used his Boomerang to stun their enemies, which allowed Vio and Red to pick them off with their Bow and Fire/Ice Rod respectively, and Blue smashed anything that got past _them_ with his hammer.

All in all, a very efficient strategy, and one that they'd used many times before. The only problem was that it only worked with a large amount of enemies.

But since they _were_ surrounded by a large amount of enemies, there was nothing to worry about.

* * *

Lore had his Harp in one hand and his sword in the other, was somehow managing to tunefully strum the instrument with his weapon without cutting any of the strings, freezing his enemies by messing with their surrounding time-stream, and veritably waltzing around their unmoving forms before he stabbed them.

In other words, a completely normal battle as far as Lore was concerned.

Across the room, Mask and Ocarina watched their half-leader incredulously.

"...how is he doing that?" Mask asked plaintively, which sounded quite odd with the deep voice of a Goron.

"I'm going to assume we don't want to know," Ocarina replied. He squinted for a moment. "Who knew he was a good dancer?"

"This is the matador battle with Big Ginger all over again," Mask lamented.

* * *

Steam walked onto the wire grating and was immediately ambushed by what looked like a purple electric jellyfish. He stepped back a few paces, then carefully glanced around to see if anyone else was within earshot.

It seemed safe enough.

"So, you have any likes, dislikes?" Steam asked casually, sidestepping a tentacle. "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

The electric jellyfish just sparked at him.

"Shy? Okay, I'll go first. I dislike evil minions, and..." Steam paused and grinned maliciously at the enemy.

"I like trains."

The Spirit Train, in a dazzling display of complete and total disregard for the laws of physics, logic, and just the Universe in general, came rocketing in out of nowhere and _slammed_ the jellyfish into the wall with all the force of... well, a freight train, then vanished into the suddenly existing middle distance.

The now very squished minion trembled for a moment, then _poof_ed into a multitude of smaller clones of itself, which in turn trembled for a moment and _poof_ed out of existence.

"_Man_ I love that summons," Steam said.

Now if only he could remember that Summoning Song, and maybe he could figure out where his dignity was hiding.

* * *

Sketch stepped though the door and was promptly attacked by a Moldorm.

"Oh, not you guys _again_," he groaned. The minion blinked at him.

"Alright look. You present your tail tip to me without any fuss, and I promise I'll make it quick," Sketch said.

The creature failed to do so.

"Fine," Sketch sighed. "I swear, half my fights could be eliminated if you guys would just talk to me."

Ignoring the moving walls, Sketch launched himself at the Moldorm's tail and unleashed a rapid-fire series of sword strikes.

"Maybe all the fighting I've been doing recently was good for practice after all," Sketch mused to himself as the Moldorm self-destructed behind him. "I think that was a new personal best."

* * *

"Okay, _how_ did you even do this?" Wind asked incredulously, one hand on top of his hat in an attempt to keep it on his head. "You literally weren't even leading! You were following! _How _did you get us lost?!"

Realm shrugged helplessly.

"**Er... not to pick at the details,**" the Four said, "**but how are we going to get down?**"

Wind stared out at the impressive view of Lorule that the Castle roof provided them. "I have absolutely no idea."

* * *

Speck removed his sword from the monster's ear and hopped down to the ground, using the minion's collapsed form as a staircase, and jogged back over to his jar to resize himself.

"Now there's a door here somewhere..." he muttered to himself, shoving his pottery back in his bag. "I just need to not fall before I find it."

The room he was in was in fact, very, very dark. Speck had the fortunate luck as to own a lantern that he'd gotten from a Temple back in his home Hyrule. He was also walking extremely slowly.

Speck inched his way along the path that he suspected was there until he reached a portion of the floor that thankfully reacted normally to the light of his lantern. He paused for a minute to shrink himself and take out the minion guarding a door, then resized himself and carefully walked through.

The monster on the other side proceeded to throw fire at him. Annoyingly, the fire had the exact opposite effect of what it should and actually made the floor impossible to see.

Speck frowned.

Then, to the creature's eyes, he vanished.

The minion caught his fireball warily and searched the scrutinized the room. There was nowhere for a hylian to hide, so where...

There was suddenly a horrific pain in his ear. He passed out.

Speck clambered off the unconscious creature and resized himself, then finished it off with a stab.

"The more I fight like that, the more afraid I become of the Picori," Speck decided. "If they wanted to, they could kill us all."

It was a very good thing, he decided, that the Picori were pacifists. And that Vaati was an idiot who didn't realize the potential of his natural size.

* * *

"Why-won't-you-stay-dead?!" Gen snarled as he attacked the Wallmaster for the umpteenth time. "All I want to do is use my clawshot for an incredibly tedious puzzle that is only made worse by the fact that _you won't stop coming back!_"

He punctuated his last few words with sword stabs and the Wallmaster dissolved into smoke... for the time being.

"Creepy disembodied nastiness," Gen shuddered. He picked up the eyeball-colored orb again and started the mental countdown until the hand reappeared... again.

_One... two... three..._

He pulled himself along above the lava using his clawshot and a raft. The eyeball-orb was at his feet.

_Twelve... thirteen... fourteen..._

He paused to kill an annoying eyeball-bat, then resumed clawshotting.

_Twenty-three... twenty-four... twenty-five._

A shadow appeared on the floor around Gen's body.

_Right on time._

Luckily, he'd just gotten back to the solid floor, and the hole for the eyeball-orb was only a few feet away. Gen tossed it in with a relieved sigh, then stepped two feet to the left to avoid the Wallmaster as it slammed down in an attempt to catch him.

"I hope you anger a Cucco," Gen growled, retrieving a key from the now-visible chest. "Then you can both duke it out and see which immortal dies first."

With that, he left through the door he'd just unlocked.

And was confronted with a large amount of unblinking eyeballs.

"...Yeah, I just don't care," Gen decided. "Skyward Strike!"

The resulting blast of holy energy obliterated the eyeballs, the larger eyeball behind the eyeballs, and nicely purified the slightly violet water Gen was standing in.

"Could've skipped all of this if I were a falcon," Gen grumbled. "Note to self, ask Dusk to ask Midna for one of my own."

* * *

The Links eventually all grouped together in front of a large door with four glowing illustrations of monsters they'd just battled.

Well... almost everyone.

"Where've you guys been?" Lore asked as Wind, Realm and the Four all trudged up, looking bedraggled.

"I don't even know," Wind groaned.

"**We got caught in Realm's misdirection field,**" the Four explained. Realm grinned apologetically.

"And I had to rescue them," Shadow growled, bringing up the rear. "He landed them on the roof! _The roof! _I have no idea how they got there. The only reason _I_ got there was because I don't have a set physical form and I abused the laws of physics! _He defies all logic._"

"At least I didn't lose my sword this time," Realm offered meekly.

"_Don't jinx it,_" Shadow snarled.

Realm _meep_ed.

"Shadow, don't terrorize your companions," Gen sighed. "As far as I can tell, we are legitimately the only people who sometimes like you. Hurting us would be bad."

Shadow subsided into unintelligible angry grumbles instead.

"So... going through the doors?" Mask prompted, now back to his normal twelve-year-old self.

"Oh yeah," Sketch remembered. He pushed the entrance open along with a few of the other Links, then started leading the way down a long and lightning-filled path that bridged the gap between the two castle towers.

"Well, I'm bored," Blue declared after only about ten steps. "How long is this walkway?"

"A good bit longer than this," Sketch replied.

"Awesome. Anyone want to tally the minion score along the way?"

"I got six," Gen said.

"We got four," Green said. Behind him, Vio and Red had Blue in a headlock to keep him from shouting out higher numbers.

"We got six too," Ocarina said, while Mask nodded.

"Four," Sketch admitted.

"Five," Steam said.

"Absolutely none," Realm said brightly.

"Same. I was keeping track of him," Wind groaned.

"**So were we****_,_**" the Four grumbled.

"I only got one, because I had to rescue the idiots," Shadow growled.

"Six," Dusk said, getting the tally back on track.

"Twenty-eight," Lore announced. There was a beat of silence, during which Dusk could be heard faintly growling at him.

"...Fine, I got twelve," Lore corrected. Dusk growled a little louder.

"...Would you accept nine?

Dusk began climbing into the range of snarling.

"Stupid wolf senses that stupidly carry over," Lore muttered. "I got six too. Happy?"

"Yes," Dusk said.

"I got nine," Speck offered quietly.

There was another beat of silence, during which... actually, it was just silence.

"Wait, you actually got nine?" Steam asked.

Speck turned a bit red. "Well, they had very conspicuous eardrums, and their armor made for some really good handholds. And they may have been a bit top-heavy, because they all went down really fast..."

"I will never underestimate tiny people again," Steam decided.

"We're here," Sketch interrupted. "Hilda and Ganon-possessing-Yuga should be through this door. Are we all ready?"

"That seems like a silly question," Mask said.

"Never hurts to check. Lore?"

"Thank you," Lore replied. "Now... what he said. Break!"

"...Okay, what was the purpose of that?"

"It let me say 'Break!'. It's my job to say 'Break!', otherwise we would never know when we're going to do something stupid and dangerous."

Sketch gaped. "Why can't you say, 'We're about to do something stupid and dangerous!'?"

"Because 'Break!' is a lot faster."

To his horror, Sketch found that he couldn't actually argue with that logic.

* * *

The Links were greeted with an unusual and somewhat confusing sight.

Princess Zelda appeared to be a painting and was hanging on the far wall. In front of that, lying on the ground and clearly out of it, was a black-haired girl who looked almost exactly like Zelda. And in front of _her_, was a very large and somewhat lavender pig, with violently red hair tied back in braids. He also had a very large trident.

"I admit, I had not quite expected this," Sketch admitted. "So, umm... do you prefer Yuga, or Ganon?"

"Yuga is the name of the imbecile who thought he could control me," the lavender pig rumbled. "He's not available right now. May I take a message?"

"Ganon, gotcha."

The now-identified Lorule Ganon opened his mouth to reply, but was abruptly sidelined by Lore shouting, "FINALLY!"

"You can nickname him?" Dusk guessed.

"And it even goes along with the pre-established theme!" Lore enthused. "Everyone, meet Mr. Purple Pig!"

About half the Links burst out in hysterical laughter. The other half, the more reserved Links, agreed that it did indeed go along with Mr. Blue Pig and Mr. Teal Pig. They also thought that the alliterative effect was quite nice and complimented Lore on his language prowess.

Lorule Ganon just stared blankly, not at all sure what was going on. He had the vague feeling he'd just been insulted, but he couldn't quite tell.

Sketch wiped some moisture from his eyes and took a deep breath to get his amusement under control. "Okay... okay, I'm good. I've just got a question. Why is Hilda out cold?"

"She thought she could control me too," Lorule Ganon said, shrugging. "She seemed rather desperate, actually, I believe she was going to steal your Triforce of Courage. Would've made an excellent addition to the gang, now that I think about it," he added thoughtfully. "Veran would have been so pleased to have another girl in the group."

"She's not evil," Sketch argued. "Hilda's just... well, desperate. And confused. She cares far too much about her kingdom to ever join a villain group."

"Also, you just knocked her out," Steam said. "Now, Sketch may be the only one who knows her, and she may have been planning to steal his Triforce – y'know, now that I think about it, it's probably a good thing she's not awake. Imagine seeing multiple Heroes with multiple Triforces when you're already planning to take one. I think she'd have shorted out."

"...Did you have a point in all that?"

"Right sorry. Umm... oh yeah. You just took a Princess hostage. And buddy, rescuing Princesses is in our job description."

Blue frowned. "Did you rip that off from somebody? Like, an Italian plumber, or-"

He was abruptly cut off as his three siblings threw themselves on top of him.

"He's never going to learn, is he," Green lamented from the top of the pile-up.

"How on earth have you people lived this long?" Ganon asked incredulously.

"I ask myself that every day," Shadow agreed.

Ganon pondered that, then shrugged and cracked his knuckles. "Well, no matter. This will simply make it easier for me to crush you."

"I could swear I've heard that before," Lore said thoughtfully. "From Mr. Pudgy Bat... and Mr. Blue Pig... and Mr. Teal Pig..."

"Malladus..." Steam chipped in.

"Zant and Big Ginger," Dusk contributed.

"Bellum and the other Ganondorf who we never actually named because Big Ginger was already taken," Wind added.

"The Piece of Heart reject," Mask said.

"Man we've fought a lot of things," Gen realized.

"STOP TALKING AND FIGHT ME!" Ganon roared.

"...Yeah, we might as well add you to the list," Realm agreed.

Everyone charged.

* * *

**Hello.**

**For the record, I blame writer's block. I'm so sorry.**

**Lorule, and a bit of the last dungeon. Because I wanted to, and it provided inspiration to fix my writers block.**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling.**

* * *

**Thanks to Shemar893, Quertypip, Sandwichcats, 1 up, Firekat Archer, Silvara, hetalia4ever, noxlux013, RandomObserver42, and minouuu974 for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**Qwertypip: That ****_would _****be amusing. / And I will keep that in mind for his fight.**

**Nick Pillow: Why hello, fellow Whovian. And your Reverse Link plot intrigues me. This may call for a spin-off plot-arc. If I may ask though, why did you choose the names you did for the TriLinks?**

**Talon: Oh dear. If you could please revive yourself, I'd rather not go to jail for unintentional murder.**

**Guest: Umm... was there meant to be an image, or something? Because all I'm seeing is 'share Gif:'...**

**Blackleaf: You'd be surprised :)**


	43. Chapter 42

**(Universe? I understand that it's November and that it's cold. But we have an agreement! You get to make fun of me and my story, and I get a disclaimer out of it. Do you have any idea how weird it is to insult myself?**

**...Universe?**

***Sigh* ****_Fine._**** But I refuse to make you Internet cookies after this.**

**I do not own the Legend of Zelda. This fact is very depressing.)**

* * *

Ganon started off the fight by lunging with his trident. By now, having faced so many Ganons wielding so many tridents, the Links didn't have much of a problem dodging. In fact, since this trident didn't seem to boomerang, dodging was actually easier.

As such, Sketch took the opportunity to ask some questions.

"So, correct me if I'm wrong," he said, stepping backwards to avoid getting skewered. "But before, when I dealt with you, it always seemed like Yuga was in control. What changed?"

"I was given an opening," Ganon rumbled. "Ironically, being absorbed into that flame-headed buffoon did me a kindness, freeing me from the spell that was holding my consciousness down to make room for that insufferable moron's mind. And when I came back..." Ganon chuckled harshly. "Well, let's just say I rectified the situation."

"Duly noted and duly creeped," Sketch muttered. "Is he... er... alive in there?"

"Unfortunately," Ganon growled.

"I like this guy," Shadow said approvingly. "Now if only he wasn't a Ganon, we could get along swimmingly."

At this point in the conversation, Ganon decided he'd had enough talk and lunged forwards with his trident again, catching Shadow off-guard. Fortunately for the dark Link, he was made of shadows and was thus not painfully stabbed.

Unfortunately for Ganon, he had just run an essentially un-killable being through with a sharp and pointy weapon.

Shadow took offense to this.

"You shouldn't have done that," he informed the large lavender pig with a highly disturbing smile on his face. He then proceeded to stab his sword into a very painful and very unfortunate piece of Ganon's anatomy.

Ganon reacted appropriately.

"You have some serious issues," Wind said as Ganon cringed on the floor.

"Thank you so much for noticing!" Shadow beamed.

"I AM DONE PLAYING GAMES!" Ganon roared suddenly, and vanished in a flash of white particles.

"Back to back!" Realm yelled. "He's teleporting!"

Ganon materialized in front of Steam, slammed the Link into the wall with his trident, and vanished again in a split second.

"You don't say," Steam groaned painfully. Gen, who was back-to-back with Dusk at the moment, shuffled his way over and dropped off a Potion.

Meanwhile, Lore and the Four were trading blows with Ganon, who had flashed himself within inches of their position. They only managed to land two hits before Ganon vanished again and materialized behind Blue and Vio, where he swung his weapon in a wide arc and sent both of the sprawling.

"I vote we get serious now," Blue moaned weakly into the stone floor.

"Seconded," Vio rasped.

"I AGREE!" Ganon bellowed. His trident began to glow an eerie red-black color, prompting all the nearby Links to duck-and-cover. This turned out to be an excellent idea as Ganon's weapon hit the wall instead and blasted a table-sized chunk to rubble.

"Oi! I wasn't talking to you!" Blue yelled crankily. "You're not allowed to get better when we do, that's cheating!"

"TELL IT TO SOMEONE WHO CARES!" Ganon roared back.

"I _love_ this guy," Shadow chortled.

"Alright, you heard him," Lore said. "Lets kick it up a notch, agreed?"

"Agreed," the group chorused, with the Links who had already been hit looking especially determined.

This time, instead of having multiple back-to-back formations, the group bunched up together in one large circle. And it worked fairly well. Ganon, unable to teleport himself in the middle of the formation, was forced to approach from the outside where the Links would be ready for him. This wasn't to say that the Links weren't taking any more hits, because that was far from accurate. But they were getting some nice returns in.

And then Ganon decided to kick up one of his own notches.

It started when he vanished in a teleport, which by this point wasn't anything unusual. What made it different from the norm was when he didn't appear immediately. Instead, a small red sphere spawned in the air above the group's heads, then spiraled up and _slammed_ down with a destructive radial blast. The Links scattered, which was a very smart decision because another sphere appeared seconds later, followed by another, and another, and another.

By the time the attack finally stopped, their formation was in tatters.

Ganon then capitalized on this by throwing his trident like a boomerang.

"OH, COME ON!" Lore yelled. "JUST ONE I'D LIKE A FIGHT WITHOUT FREAKISH BOOMERANG EFFECTS! Is THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR?!"

Ganon answered by launching another round of the exploding spheres, causing everyone to scramble again.

"I admit, this is more challenging than I was expecting," Gen commented. "Any ideas?"

"He doesn't watch his back," Vio said. "He's so confident that his teleporting ability will compensate that he doesn't cover behind him."

"And there's enough of us that we can get there while he's distracted," Green finished. "Good plan."

"I try."

"Implement that," Lore ordered. "And try – DODGE!"

Everyone briefly ducked as the boomeranging trident went whirling through.

" - not to die," Lore finished calmly. "Break!"

* * *

With the exception of Speck, who was employing his usual method of climbing up to the eardrum, the Links divided themselves into two groups. Those who distracted, and those who took advantage of the distraction and whacked Ganon with pointy things.

Naturally, Lore was on the Distraction Team. He was joined by Realm, due to his freakish stamina; the Four, because they naturally clustered and looked like an easy target; Dusk, because Midna wanted to participate; and Mask, because there were few things more distracting than a randomly shape-shifting Deku Scrub.

Lore, being himself, went first.

"Now then," he said, pulling out a pictograph from absolutely nowhere. "I'm going to need you to hold still for a second. I've only got a sixty-point aperture setting on this thing and you're moving a bit too fast for the lens."

Ganon, having never encountered Lore before, made the mistake of stopping and gawking, which allowed the eccentric Link to get himself rolling.

"We always take a picture with the Villain of the Week, see," Lore explained, correctly interpreting Ganon's expression as 'utterly baffled'. "I can show you the album after the fight, but right now I need you to pose for me. Spread your legs about four feet apart, please..."

Ganon blinked, then shuffled his feet around a bit.

"No no, that's three feet," Lore said patiently. "Bit wider... little more... perfect! Now, extend your arm... your other one, please. And hold up two fingers spread apart like this." He demonstrated a peace sign with the hand that didn't have the pictograph. "Now boys, if you would please?"

The rest of the Distraction Team, having been around Lore enough that they could pick up his cues by now, inched into positions around the large lavender pig and mimicked his position.

"Perfect," Lore enthused, making a frame around the group with his fingers. He then held up the pictograph and, bizarrely, launched into an advertising spiel. "Pictures taken instantaneously! I'm a photographic genius if I do say so myself."

Mask blinked. "Since when? I've never seen you take a photo since I met you."

"Yeah, and I've known him longer than you," Dusk agreed.

"DO NOT INTERRUPT BRILLIANCE!" Lore bellowed. "Now, get ready for an instant memory! Look at the Pictograph... Ready? Say, 'Fuzzy Pickles'."

"Fuzzy Pickles," the Links and Ganon chorused dutifully.

And then Ganon was spontaneously stabbed in the backside by ten different swords of various lengths and pain capacities.

"I am a distractive mastermind," Lore said smugly as Ganon bellowed in pain-filled rage and vanished in a teleport. "Oh, Wind, here's your Pictograph back."

Wind took the machine and stared at it blankly. "When and how did you take this?"

"About two minutes ago, when I decided to implement Confusing Prank #472," Lore replied. "You should really put a button or something on your bag, it's far too easy to pickpocket you."

"I know, right?" Blue agreed.

"The buttons don't look good with the stitching," Wind mumbled.

Any response that would have been made to that was cut off when Ganon reappeared and lunged forwards with his trident covered in the black-red energy again, forcing everyone to scatter. Ganon, still quite angry, locked on to the one specific Link who had caused him to feel the most pain and charged with a single-minded purpose.

To no-one's surprise, it was Lore.

"DISTRACTIVE MASTERMIND!" Lore repeated at the top of his lungs as he sprinted away from the large and angry pig with a massive grin on his face.

"...There is something very wrong with his head," Dusk decided.

"Maybe," Gen agreed. "But if it ain't broke..."

"I'm not entirely convinced that he isn't."

Lore streaked by again, with Ganon close behind, and the majority of the Links took the opportunity to get in a few more strikes. This finally served to switch Ganon's attention off of Lore and onto someone else.

Or at least, he would have if Speck hadn't picked that exact moment to drive his sword into the villain's inner ear.

Ganon bellowed, dropped his trident and cupped both hands on the side of his head, scrabbling to get the weapon out of his ear. Speck yelped, yanked his sword free, and frantically dodged the fingers before rolling off Ganon's shoulder entirely and landing with a soft _plop_ on Steam's outstretched palm.

"Thanks," Speck gasped, looking a bit pale.

"Someone's gotta be around to catch you," Steam shrugged, already a good ten feet away from Ganon. He retreated a few more steps, then knelt down to deposit Speck on the floor. "Are you gonna go for his other ear, or are you done for now?"

"Done, I think," Speck said. "His reactions are traumatizing."

"I'll leave you to the resizing, then," Steam replied.

Speck jogged off to the corner where he'd left his Jar and Sketch rejoined the rest of the Links in their standoff with Ganon, who had one hand pressed to his ear and the other holding his trident, albeit a bit less securely than before.

"How close d'you think we are?" he asked as he came up.

Vio eyed their opponent thoughtfully. "I'd say a couple more hits should do it," he judged.

"Dibs," Shadow declared.

"Do you want anyone to be a Distraction-" Gen started, only to end up talking to air as Shadow had already taken off and was using his abilities as a not-quite-hylian to do as much damage as he could. The arm that wasn't holding his sword was outstretched far more than should have been possible and was shooting darkmatter projectiles in a rapid-fire fashion. As such, Ganon was forced to block with his sword, and since his other hand was on his ear was thus left entirely wide open for when Shadow slid around his back with astonishing speed and implanted his sword into the small of Ganon's back.

"I know you weren't directly involved in my... origins," Shadow said conversationally. "But unfortunately for you, you share both their name and their general features. No hard feelings."

Suddenly, his sword could be seen poking out the front of Ganon's stomach. The rest of the Links winced – aside from Wind, who had actually driven a sword through someone's head before and didn't see much difference. Then Shadow withdrew his weapon with a jerk and Ganon slumped to the ground.

"You may have bested me," Ganon wheezed, "but once I'm gone you'll still have Yuga to deal with. Not to mention, your little Lorule Princess still has it in her mind to betray you..."

With that, there was a flash of the now familiar hole and Ganon's influence vanished. In his place was a pointy-nosed man with a greenish complexion and long, braided red hair.

"I'm... I'm free?" he said, trembling. "I'M FREE! NOW THE REALMS WILL KNOW MY-"

Sketch hit him upside the head with the flat of his blade, and Yuga toppled over in a blunt-force coma.

"I am _not_ in the mood to deal with you right now," Sketch told Yuga's unconscious body.

"I like this new trend," Shadow decided. "You people are getting more and more violent. I love it!"

"Guys," Blue said slowly. "We're all doomed. Shadow approves of us."

* * *

Din frowned. "Was that supposed to last longer?"

"Well, the fact that Hilda is out cold threw off the possibilities a bit," Nayru replied. "Originally her plan was to take Wisdom's Piece, then Yuga's if Courage managed to defeat him. I assume then that she would have fought Courage herself, if not for Yuga's original plan to betray her, absorb her, and fight with both Wisdom's and Power's Pieces. Of course, since Power was able to assume control of Yuga and his' shared body, that threw the plan off. And then he knocked Hilda out, which threw the plans even more. As it stands now, Zelda still has her Wisdom even though she's still a painting, Ganon took his Power with him when he left, and Link never lost his Courage. It's all a bit mixed right now."

Din blinked. "How do you keep track of all that?"

"Goddess of Time," Nayru shrugged. "It's my job."

* * *

"Hilda?" Sketch asked, shaking said Princess gently. "Can you hear me? Yuga's defeated, and in desperate need of a jail cell. Also, Zelda's still a painting..."

"Urrrrgh," Hilda muttered. She slowly pushed herself up to a sitting position and stared at the carnage of the room blankly. Sketch waved a hand in front of her face.

"Hilda? You okay?"

"There are more?" She said, sounding utterly terrified. Sketch glanced up, wondering what was so frightening – and saw Red leaning in with wide eyes and a beaming smile.

"You look just like Zelda!" he chirped.

Hilda promptly passed out.

"...Okay..." Sketch said slowly. "Not sure what her problem is... hey guys?"

"Yeah?"

"Any ideas on how to reverse portraitification?

"Doesn't your bracelet do that?" Vio suggested. "Maybe hold it up or touch the paint or something?"  
"Good point," Sketch said, doing just that. It worked; Zelda's portrait began to glow, and within a few seconds the Princess of Hyrule stood in front of the group. She cocked her head at the Links slightly.

"Did you get a little lost, Link?" she asked, amused. "It looks a bit like you may have taken your time finding Lorule and made some detours instead."

"She's good," Mask said.

"That's not what happened!" Sketch protested. "And besides, that's Realm's job!"

Suddenly reminded, everyone quickly looked around for the wayward Link.

"I'm still here," Realm said, waving from the middle-left of the cluster.

"**It never hurts to check,**" the Four told him.

Zelda giggled.

"That's not what happened," Sketch repeated, irate. "If anything, _they _got lost and found _me._"

"Not entirely true, but close," Green said. "We're not really _lost_, per se, but we did find you instead of the other way around."

"Which dimensions are you from?" Zelda asked curiously.

The Links exchanged glances and tried to figure out how to tell her in a way that wasn't spectacularly confusing.

"Well... I'm from the past," Gen started. "The very, _very_ distant past. You could say I'm the First Hero."

"Except that we met Oni, and know that you weren't," Steam snickered.

"He's a mask! We can't exactly introduce him!"

"Most of us are from the past of some sort," Wind stepped in while Gen and Steam devolved into an argument. "Except that some of us are from alternate timelines that spawned from those two," he pointed at Mask and Ocarina briefly, "and we don't quite know where Shadow came from because he won't tell us."

"It's amusing to watch you guess," Shadow explained.

Zelda laughed again. "You must all be very good friends to argue like you do. Only people who know each other well can get under someone's skin so efficiently."

"Well, I suppose that's one way to put it," Realm agreed.

At that point, Hilda regained consciousness, then very nearly passed out again at seeing all eighteen Links at once. She managed to hold herself together this time, though, and shakily got to her feet.

"Why are there so many of you, Link?" she asked, fixing Sketch with lidded red eyes.

"Time travel and a large, universe-devouring hole," Sketch said. "It's complicated."

"Where is Yuga?" Hilda asked, glancing around nervously.

"Knocked him out, tied him up, and had Lore put him on ice," Sketch rattled off. He turned to glance at Yuga, who was out cold and encased in an iceberg up to his neck and grinned. "A lot of ice."

"The Triforce?" Hilda asked, seeming desperate now.

"Ganon took his piece when we beat him, Zelda never lost hers, and we've got more Courage right now than should probably be legal."

Hilda took a deep, shuddering breath.

"It's gone?" she whispered.

And the Princess of Lorule crumpled to the floor.

"It's gone," she moaned. "The Triforce is gone, and I have failed. Lorule is doomed." She broke down in tears.

Sketch blinked, and took an awkward step backwards. Zelda had her hands over her mouth.

"Hilda? What's wrong?" she asked gently.

"I failed my people," Hilda sobbed. "I-I needed your Triforce to save my people. But now-now it's gone, and-and I _failed them!"_

"Princess?" Someone called. And a large and violently purple rabbit came plummeting out of nowhere, tripped over the floor and spilled several green Rupees before clambering to his feet and racing to Princess Hilda.

"Hey, don't cry," Ravio said, putting his hand on her shoulder. "It's gonna be okay, trust me."

Hilda wailed and flung herself bodily into the rabbit merchant, where she clutched at his robe like a lifeline. "D-d-don't l-leave me ever a-again," she pleaded.

Ravio, who looked both distinctly uncomfortable and incredibly pleased, patted her head awkwardly.

"I'm not going anywhere, promise," he said. His other hand reached up to his hood and pulled it down, then returned to the Princess of Lorule.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me," Lore stated bluntly. "How many of us _are_ there?!"

Ravio, although his hair was black and his eyes were green, looked exactly like Sketch.

"Ex_cuse_ me?" Shadow spat, stalking over to Ravio and glaring in the alternate Link's face. Specifically, at his hair. "Are you trying to pull something here?

"I was born with this hair color," Ravio squeaked, shrinking a good three inches under Shadow's Look.

"A _very_ convenient excuse," Shadow snorted derisively. "I'll be watching you..." He pointed two fingers at Ravio's face, then turned around and stepped back into the Link group, where he affected his usual posture of complete and total disinterest.

"Um... so... basically, I'm Link's counterpart in Lorule," Ravio stuttered, still sounding a bit high-pitched. "I wasn't brave enough to stand up to Hilda and Yuga when they made their plans, so I fled to Hyrule because I knew I could find a hero to help me. I wasn't exactly expecting to find my doppelganger, but hey, added bonus," he said, shrugging.

Hilda sniffled and released her grip on Ravio's clothes a bit. "You... were trying to stop me? Why? I was trying to save Lorule..."

"But to do it by ruining Hyrule?" Ravio murmured. "All we would be doing is exchanging one devastated land for another. In saving our kingdom, we would have doomed theirs to our current fate, and I... I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't let you become that kind of person."

"So you would put their kingdom above your own?" Hilda asked, with a bit of heat in her otherwise watery voice.

"I put Lorule above _anything_," Ravio said fiercely. "But not like this. There has to be another way."

"But there isn't..." Hilda whispered, tears falling again.

Ravio sighed. "Look, Princess. Our Triforce was destroyed because the people who fought over it created situations _exactly_ _like this_."

Hilda let out a little gasp and renewed her grip on Ravio's clothes.

"Hilda... I couldn't let you become like them. You cared so much about your people, I just... I just couldn't."

Hilda started sobbing again.

"I d-d-don't deserve you," she breathed in between exhales.

"Hey now, don't go there," Ravio scolded gently. "If anything _I_ don't deserve _you_. Who else has such an amazing Princess that she would go to such lengths to save her people?"

Gen slapped a hand across Lore's mouth. "_Don't you dare,_" he hissed. Lore peered down at the hand, then rolled his eyes and mumbled something unintelligible around the fingers which probably translated to something along the lines of 'I wasn't going to'.

"Look, regardless of what's happened, we need to do the right thing now. Let them keep their Triforce; it's where it belongs."

"You're right," Hilda murmured, pulling away from Ravio's now-very-wet robe. Her mouth quirked ever so slightly. "As usual."

"I doubt that, Princess," Ravio said, although his face was a tiny bit red.

"Zelda," Hilda addressed her counterpart, "I wish to apologize for my actions. I was so desperate that I couldn't see the boundaries that I shouldn't have crossed. But know that, even though I have done unforgivable things, I did it all for my people."

"I understand that better than anyone," Zelda replied, smiling.

* * *

"Guys, group huddle, now," Lore ordered.

Seconds later, with everyone in formation, he said, "Sketch? What just happened?"

"Lorule used to have a Triforce but because the people fought over it and nearly brought everything to ruin, Hilda's ancestors destroyed it," Sketch rattled off. "Only problem was that nobody realized that Lorule _needed_ a Triforce to stay... well, whole, I guess. Basically this is the reason why the whole kingdom is in such a mess and why everything's so gray. Anyways, Hilda and Yuga discovered the existence of another Triforce, that'd be the one in Hyrule, and made a plan to steal it. This resulted in Zelda getting portraitified, Yuga summoning and fusing with Ganon, and me getting involved, which led to this fight, which I suspect should have ended differently if Demise hadn't messed with things. Ravio is my counterpart like Hilda is Zelda's, and he just convinced her that stealing our Triforce is not the answer."

He took a very, very deep breath once he was done and hunched over to try and regain his oxygen.

"Right," Lore said, frowning. "Can we fix this?"

The question took everyone by a bit of surprise, before they all settled down to have a Think.

"...We could wish on one of _our_ Triforces," Vio suggested eventually. "Have it restore theirs?"

"But we're only carriers of Courage," Speck pointed out. "Even though we've got a Wisdom on hand, there's no way we can get a Power to make it complete."

"Can we force it with a Courage overload?" Mask wondered.

Dusk winced. "That is probably a _very_ bad idea. And I know this because Midna is all for it."

Everyone considered that for a moment.

"Right, moving on," Ocarina said hastily. Shadow scowled.

"I _really_ don't like Demise," Realm said suddenly. "If he hadn't gone and messed everything up, we could _do_ something about this!"

"I know what you mean," Gen said. "I'm used to being able to fix things. But..."

"Admittedly, Termina got me somewhat used to the concept," Mask said. "But that doesn't mean I like it any less."

"So... promise by the goddesses that we'll fix this once we fix the universe?" Wind proposed.

"Maybe don't say it like _that_," Steam grinned. "But overall, sounds like a plan."

"Plans are good," Lore said solemnly. "Break."

The Links dissembled the circle to find Zelda waiting for them.

"Hilda has offered to take us home," she said, smiling. "Are you ready?"

"Actually," Sketch said, "sorry, but we've got another ride. We're only about halfway done, see."

"You really did get lost, didn't you, Link?" Zelda laughed. "Well then, don't let me stop you. Come see me once you're done, okay?"

"You got it," Sketch replied.

"Speaking of our ride," Realm said, "where is it?"

"I think it migrated after Ganon went poof," Ocarina said, peering around. "Remember how it tends to do that?"

"And if our usual luck is any indication," Steam sighed, "it's probably parked itself on the other side of the castle."

"Right then," Lore said. "Wind and the Four are in charge of Realm, try not to get caught in his Misdirectional Field this time. Actually, Mask and Ocarina follow Realm too, we really need to get a handle on this."

"It just sorta happens," Realm said with an awkward grin.

"The rest of us, we're going to figure a way out of here while everyone I previously named follow us. Any questions?"

"**Can we get paid for this?**" the Four asked.

"We're all broke and we never had wages anyways," came the prompt response.

* * *

"Nice to meet another me," Sketch said, shaking Ravio's hand. "Again."

"Not exactly unusual for you, I'm guessing," Ravio grinned.

"You have _no_ idea."

"Ravio?" Red asked. "You're a Link too, right?"

"Well... kinda," Ravio allowed.

"Do you wanna come with us?"

Ravio paused, clearly considering the question.

"...No," he said at length. "I don't have the kind of Courage that you guys do, and I'd probably end up holding you back. Plus, well... Hilda needs me here."

He shot a quick glance at his Princess with a little grin on his face. "I've let her think I abandoned her for weeks. It's time I fixed that. And also, Lorule is a bit of a mess, if you haven't noticed."

"I think we might have picked up on a few things here and there, yes," Steam said dryly.

Ravio chuckled. "Well, I'm Lorule's Hero. So it's kinda my job to stick around and _be_ that Hero, yeah?"

"Makes sense to me," Sketch said. "Good luck."

"You too," Ravio replied.

* * *

Miraculously, Realm didn't get lost.

The downside of this was now that everyone was quite sure the world was coming to an end. Well, even more than it already was.

Outside of that, the group found the hole without too much trouble and a minimal amount of argument. The actual going through the hole went similarly well, since the Links were so used to the void by now that they hardly even registered.

The problems happened on the other side.

"No no no no no _no no no NO NO!_" Lore chanted.

"That is a _big_ whale," Wind observed, craning his neck. "Why and how is it flying?"

"I REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THAT MONSTROSITY!"

"Is it albino?" Blue asked Vio. "Can whales _be_ albino?"

"Of course whales can be albino," Vio lectured. "Anything can be albino with the right genetics and pigment coloration."

"IT IS NOT THERE, AND I AM NOT SEEING IT!"

"**We can hear singing**," the Four noted. "**Is that the whale?**"

"AND I CAN'T HEAR IT EITHER-"

"WE GET IT!" Gen bellowed. "You don't like the Windfish. Too bad!"

"This is gonna be _fun_," Shadow said with relish.

* * *

**I'm sorry this took so long. But finals are coming up, and I've been crazy busy preparing for them. **

**As such, I'm going to postpone the next chapter until AFTER my finals are done. This may result in a three-week wait. I apologize in advance, but as it stands this is my freetime hobby, and I put my schoolwork before my freetime.**

**Aside from that, boss battle. It was very short, but having changed as much as I have I didn't really have much to work with. On the bright side, Earthbound reference.**

**Ravio and Hilda's relationship, on the other hand...**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling.**

* * *

**Thanks to zelda reborn, icfehr, ShadowPoisonCrystal, chyromyr, Elfe Lunaire, WriteyouCleverGirl, .3, Shinxthinx, Ciel Black018, Undead monkey8, FbFan, Tabac Iberez, The Rocketman, Purple Pork Penguin, CandyLoverChickand gamerman125 for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**The general response to everyone's comments this time was, 'Glad you liked it!' So rather than spelling all that out about twenty times, I'm putting a general reply here.**

**Glad you liked it!**


	44. Holiday Special

**(Welcome back, Universe. Just in time for Winter.)**

**...On second thought, I'm going back to Tahiti. It's a magical place.**

**(NO! No Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. references! You are getting right back here and you are doing this disclaimer with me!)**

**...****_Fine_****. The author does not own the Legend of Zelda. Happy?**

**(What, no alternative comment? Are you angry again?)**

**...Hmph.**

**(...oh dear.)**

* * *

"WAIT!" Lore bellowed in his usual fashion – that is, completely out of nowhere. "HOLD EVERYTHING AND SOMEBODY BREW SOME EGGNOG!"

"...Eggnog?" Speck asked.

"It's a delightful beverage made from eggs," Lore explained in a spectacularly unexplanatory way. "Or egg flavoring, I forget which. And we need some!"

"...Why?"

"Because it's necessary!"

"That answers absolutely nothing."

"It answers everything," Lore said. "Also, who knows where we can find a pine tree?"

"...Lore, this is _your _Hyrule. You do." Gen told him dryly.

Lore blinked. "THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE! I AM A GENIUS!" He whirled and pointed randomly at the Four. "You! Go about fifteen-point-six-oh-seven miles due southwest and find a pine tree! It has to be the prickly kind or else we can't get the traditional needle-in-the-finger when we cut it down."

The Four stared at him. "**...What?**"

"Exactly. You!" Lore pointed at Dusk. "Find something twinkly and put it on a really really really long string!"

"_Why?_"

"Because it's necessary! You!" He switched his finger to a bored Shadow. "Find round things!"

Shadow leveled a _Look_ at his half-leader.

"...please?" Lore added.

Shadow rolled his eyes. "How many?"

"Three-hundred-and-two," Lore said promptly. Shadow let out a huff of air, threw the hood of his cloak over his head and walked off looking confused but mildly interested.

"Lore, _what_ are you doing?" Wind asked.

"Preparing. Can you find eighteen large colorful socks and a fireplace?"

Wind blinked. "A... why do we need a fireplace?"

Lore put a finger on his chin. "Well, theoretically we just need a fire and way to hang the socks. It's _nice_ to have a mantle, but we could always make do with a branch construct and some string."

"...You know what, I'm just gonna go with it and hope it all makes sense later," Wind decided. "Who out of us is best at woodwork?"

"I'm decent," Steam volunteered.

"Want to help me build a functional mantle out of sticks?"

Steam grinned. "_Do_ I?"

"Get on that," Lore said, nodding decisively. "Now, somebody else needs to buy eighty-five candles and learn how make them smell like cinnamon. Any takers?"

Nobody said anything, until Blue broke the silence by coughing

"Excellent, thank you for volunteering!" Lore cried, pointing to him and his three counterparts.

"...Sorry," Blue muttered as Vio and Green stared at him. Red, on the other hand, smiled excitedly. Lore glanced at everyone, did a head count, then seized Red's arm and pulled him away from the other three.

"Sorry, but I need you to help me make snow," he said.

"Snow? _Why?_" Mask asked.

"Because it's necessary!"

"It's also cold and wet!"

"It's necessary! Now, who here can cook?"

"Well, Gen can make soup," Sketch said.

"Not very well," Gen grumbled.

"Close enough!" Lore declared. "Can you bake a Cucco?"

Gen stared at him wildly. "You want me to _what?! _Are you trying to get me killed!?"

"No, I'm trying to emulate a turkey," Lore said.

"A _what?"_

Lore ignored that. "You and you, find firewood!" He ordered, pointing at Mask and Ocarina. "Somebody else dig a fire-pit! And will _someone_ FIND SOME EGGNOG?!"

"...I think he's finally lost it," Realm said.

* * *

"**Is this a good tree?**" the Four asked. Lore examined the specimen up and down with laser-like intensity.

"...It's a bit bare on this side," he said at last.

"**That's what you said about the last four trees,**" the Four complained. "**All things considered this one is easily the fullest ****_and_**** it's the only one within this mile that satisfied your height qualifications, ****_and_**** it's the only one that was fat enough for you.**"

Lore nodded along with the list agreeably. "That's all true... But it still needs to pass the test of prickliness!"

He stepped forward, regarded the tree for a minute, then flung himself straight into the needles and proceeded to give the tree a bear hug.

"...I believe it passes," Lore's muffled voice drifted out of the branches, and he backed away with a stray branch in his bangs and two needles stuck in his left cheek. He brushed them off idly, then plucked the branch off his head and grinned at the tree. "This is the one!"

"**Finally,**" the Four sighed. "**Now are we allowed to cut it down?**"

"No, I can do that," Lore said, flattening himself to the ground and drawing his sword to hack at the trunk. "You can haul it back though, I need to go and see if Shadow's found enough round things yet."

"**...Right...**"

* * *

"Normally, nothing surprises me," Lore said with wide eyes. "But this has officially broken that streak. Where and how did you even _find_ this many Moon Pearls?"

Shadow yawned, looking bored. "I didn't. I swiped yours when you weren't looking and hijacked the magic of the Four Sword to create duplicates."

"_You WHAT?!"_ Vio roared from a considerable distance away, having somehow heard everything Shadow had just said.

"I think it worked well," Shadow continued, ignoring the furious purple stick figure that was rapidly getting closer. "Just to let you know, three-hundred-and-two isn't actually divisible by four. You'll have to make do with an even three-hundred."

"That's fine, what's a few missing here and there," Lore said. "Now the real question is, can you make them colorful?"

Shadow rolled his eyes, stooped down and knocked on the closest Moon Pearl in the way that someone would tap at a lightbulb with a bad connection. The Pearl flickered, wavered – and then died completely.

"Don't you give me that," Shadow snarled, and kicked the previously luminescent sphere sharply. The Pearl flickered again, briefly, then booted back up and promptly turned a nice shade of green.

"Yes," Shadow told Lore bluntly.

"BRILLIANT!" Lore declared, grinning like a madman.

At that point, Vio arrived and began attempting to mutilate Shadow for messing with the Four Sword's enchantments. Lore, having decided that Shadow had the collection of round things well under control, took the interruption as an excellent sign to move on down the list.

Shadow, on the other hand, lazily held up a Moon Pearl to block Vio's latest head shot (it turned blue), and hummed something depressing he'd heard the other day.

Vio was not amused.

* * *

"Was this Midna's idea?" Lore asked, examining the fairy tied to the string. The fairy flickered in his approximation of scowling and adjusted the thread around his waist so that it hung more comfortably.

"No, she was all for knocking them out with chloroform and gagging them," Dusk said. "I went to the nearest Fairy Fountain and asked nicely."

"And _then_ you chloroformed them?" Lore asked hopefully.

Dusk raised a sanity-questioning eyebrow. "No, then I took the ones that agreed and helped them tie on the string. And then I went and did the same thing at fifteen other Fairy Fountains because I only got about six takers from the first one."

"Can you do patterns?" Lore asked the fairy. He nodded, then waved at the fairies next to him and started a running flash pattern that traveled all the way to the end of the rope before starting over again.

"That's very nice," Lore said, clapping. "Now we just need to stuff you around the pine needles and we'll be golden. If you'll excuse me, I need to go see how Gen is coming with the Cucco."

With that, he walked off and left Dusk to deal with the suddenly irate fairies demanding to know why he hadn't told them they would be twinkling among pointy needles.

* * *

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

"Oh, it can't possibly be that bad," Lore said calmly.

"KILL THEM WITH FIRE!"

"Probably a bad idea," Lore noted.

"I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!" Gen screamed as he tried in vain to escape from the furious Cucco horde.

"Really now, if you're going to try and cook one you should be prepared for the response," Lore yawned, examining his fingernails.

Gen sprinted up and grabbed his co-leader's collar menacingly. _"__This was your idea,_" he hissed, then glanced over his shoulder and yelped before dashing away as the Cuccos swarmed after him.

"You're doing great!" Lore said, flashing a thumbs-up sign and solidly ignoring the pure undiluted fury he got in return.

* * *

"So it turns out that Vio was the only one who knew how to make candles," Green started sheepishly. "And he ran off someplace a while ago, so..."

"Get. This. Stuff. Off. Me," Blue said slowly and concisely, covered from head to toe in candle wax.

"Fell into the melting vat?" Lore asked.

"Fell into the melting vat," Green confirmed.

"...At least you smell good."

"I DON'T CARE!" Blue bellowed.

Lore chuckled and pulled out a booklet from his bag, then handed it off to Green. "This is my How-To-Make-Candles guidebook, just follow the instructions and you should be fine. Granted you could have just bought the candles like I said, but if you want to delve into the fantastic world of wax then I'm not going to stop you."

Blue froze and glared daggers at Green. "We could have _bought_ candles?!"

"I... may have forgotten that part," Green admitted sheepishly.

Blue growled menacingly, but given that he was covered in wax he couldn't actually follow through with it.

"Exactly," Lore agreed confusingly. "Now, where's Red? He's on Make-Winter duty with me."

"He's freezing over that pond back there," Blue said, stiffly jerking his thumb over his shoulder.

"EXCELLENT!" Lore boomed. "THAT'S THE PERFECT ICE SKATING SURFACE!"

With that, he sprinted away, leaving Green to start leafing through the booklet and Blue to shuffle over to their melting fire to release his clothes.

* * *

"I can't make snow," Red lamented.

"Clearly not, then you'd have a Snow Rod instead," Lore said. "That's my job."

"I just thought I could help a bit more than just freezing a pond," Red sighed, gesturing.

"And you did a very nice job," Lore agreed. "But I'm pretty sure that encasing the entire Maku Tree in solid ice is a _bit_ more up the scale than 'frost'."

Red nodded mournfully.

"On the aesthetic side though," Lore mused, "that looks _fantastic._"

It really did. Rather than being inside of a block of ice, the branches were actually covered in a 'skintight' layer that followed the contours of the tree itself. The result was that the Maku Tree looked like it was made of glass.

"I think I'll keep it," Lore decided, grinning. "Now, can you go help Blue and Green make candles? I'll take care of the rest here."

"Sure!" Red chirped, considerably more cheerful now that he knew Lore liked it. He stowed his Ice Rod inside his bag and ran off.

"Alright!" Lore announced to nobody in particular and pulled out his Rod of Seasons with a flourish. "Let's make Winter!"

He tapped the blue orb, making it light up, then swung the whole item through the air and released a concentrated blast of magic that instantly dropped the temperature by about forty degrees. Every tree that wasn't an evergreen spontaneously lost its leaves with a dull _thwump_, and the sky abruptly turned light gray and started dropping snow. Lore grinned at it.

"Now how did you know my theme was 'white'?" he asked a snowflake falling past his face.

Luckily, the snowflake didn't answer.

If it had, that would have caused some problems.

* * *

"Why couldn't you have waited a bit longer before you dropped the temperature?" Steam complained.

"Hush, you've got your bonfire, you're fine," Lore scolded. "How's the makeshift mantle coming?"

"It's... coming," Steam replied. "I'm working on making it stand up on its own."

Lore looked around, frowning. "I thought Wind was assigned with you?"

"He is. He went to look for the eighteen large and colorful socks that you wanted."

* * *

"I just need to borrow some," Wind explained futilely to the highly confused Labrynnians in the doorway. "I think it'll only be for one night... probably..."

This sentence did not earn him any points on the subject.

* * *

"You know what, I should've said nineteen," Lore said thoughtfully. "I forgot to count Oni."

"Oni's a mask," Steam said, tying a knot into place on his construct. "And besides, whoever we used to get him out here would effectively be _not_ here."

"That's true," Lore agreed. "I wonder if we could build him a vessel or something that he could possess without actually possessing."

"Ask Mask, he'd probably know," Steam grunted, pulling. "What Oni would be able to possess, I mean. He's got experience there. Could you hand me that branch?"

Lore handed off the specified wood and watched as Steam lashed it into place, then backed away carefully. The makeshift mantle stayed upright.

"Score!"

"Nicely done," Lore said. "Let me know when you've got the socks. I'll be over that way seeing if anyone's managed to make eggnog yet."

* * *

Lore took a small sip of the substance Speck handed to him and promptly spat it out onto the now-inch-deep snow.

"That is an affront to all proper eggnog," he said.

"Well, you never exactly told me how to make it," Speck accused quietly. "You just handed me some eggs and milk, told me to mix them, then left me to deal with the fallout from all the Cuccos who's nests you robbed."

"Oh yeah... I forgot I did that," Lore remembered. "Alright, scratch the eggnog. Can you make hot chocolate?"

"...I'm guessing it's not actually straight up chocolate that's hot?"

"Add it to some milk, make sure they're both warm, and stir slowly," Lore advised.

Speck nodded. "I can do that."

"Good. Now!" Lore said, turning to Mask, Ocarina, and the massive pile of firewood they had accumulated. "You guys did brilliantly, I have nothing else to say."

The two gave each other high-fives.

"Realm!" Lore called, turning again and examining the very large to-be firepit. "How goes the digging?"

"Pretty good," Realm's voice echoed up. "But could someone throw me a rope? I forgot to leave myself a way out."

"How deep did he dig that thing?" Speck asked, peering down. "It's s firepit, not a hole to the Other Side."

"He said something about catching the ashes," Ocarina replied, already lowering a rope coil down.

"I'll leave you to that," Lore said, walking off. "We should be done as soon as you get him out of there, so I'll go and round everybody else up. And then we can work on the tree!"

The small grouping of Links watched their half-leader walk off skipping.

"...Seriously, I think he's lost it," Realm said, having just been hoisted over the edge.

* * *

"...It's still crooked," Lore decided.

Ocarina groaned, Shadow hissed angrily, Gen just glared, and Dusk merely sighed tolerantly.

"Which way?" he asked.

"To the left," Lore instructed. Dusk obediently leaned the tree a few inches to the left, to which Lore examined it closely and frowned.

"I was wrong, lean it to the right," he said.

Dusk let out a huff of air and leaned the tree to the right.

"Hurry up," Shadow growled. "You're shaking needles on me." The dark-colored Link was currently wrapped around the base of the tree trunk, utilizing his shapeshifting abilities to act as support.

"You and me both," Gen agreed crankily. He wasn't actually at the bottom, but he _was _supporting the trunk further up.

"We've been at this for fifteen minutes, it should _not_ take this long to prop a tree upright," Ocarina complained.

"Right a little bit more," Lore said, completely ignoring the irate Links. "And... PERFECT! Red, ice the bottom!"

"Not on me!" Shadow shouted, slithering out from underneath and resuming his usual shape.

"I would have waited," Red assured him quietly. He pulled out his Ice Rod and carefully solidified the ground and the tree trunk in ice about a foot thick, then layered the substance even thicker at the place where the tree met the ground.

_"_Very nicely done," Lore complimented. "Now! Dusk, bring the twinkly things!"

"They have names," Dusk said, carefully uncoiling his fairy-laden string.

"Yes, and I'm sure they're all fairy-ish," Lore agreed. "I will ask them after we're done. Twine the string around the tree in a circular fashion."

Dusk did so, though it took him a good half-hour with the help of everyone but Shadow, who was quite frankly done with being social for the next week or so. Wind was especially helpful with using his Wind Waker to boost Dusk to the branches he couldn't reach. Which were many; Lore seemed to have chosen the tallest tree within ten miles.

"This looks great, guys," Lore said as Wind lowered Dusk down. "Now we just need to add the round things!"

Dusk blinked, looked at the pile of Moon Pearls, then looked at the top of the tree and sighed. "Wind, can you push me back up?" he asked resignedly.

* * *

The end result of all this strangeness was an effective localized Winter, with a thirty-foot-tall pine tree decorated from top to bottom in blinking fairies and multicolored Moon Pearls, a makeshift fireplace made from a firepit and a stick construct, complete with hanging socks for a reason which nobody but Lore knew, and accompanied by copious amounts of hot chocolate and candles which smelled of cinnamon.

Which was all very nice and atmospheric, except that nobody could figure out what the atmosphere was.

"Now isn't this nice?" Lore said, cheerfully sipping his hot chocolate and smiling up at the tree through the falling snow.

"Yeah..." Mask agreed doubtfully. "But we don't know what it's for."

"Oh, that's easy," Lore said. "It's for this!"

With that, he suddenly brandished a mass amount of brightly-colored packages from absolutely nowhere and dropped one in the lap of each Link, Shadow included. He dropped two in Mask's lap and said, "The green one's for Oni, but let me tell you it was _hard_ to find him a gift at the last minute. Next time he decides to show up unexpectedly, tell him to do it at _least_ three months in advance."

Mask blinked. "Uhh... okay?"

Lore plopped back down on the ground and said, "Well? Open them!"

After exchanging a few confused glances and confirming that, nope, nobody else knew what was going on either, the Links decided to humor their half-leader and opened their packages with a cacophony of tearing paper.

Lore veritably bounced in his seat. "Do you like them? I spent a long time deciding what each of you would like and let me tell you, it was _really_ hard for a couple of you. How'd I do?"

Gen held up his item and blinked at it. "It's... wow. I mean... how'd you know?"

"Remember that time I asked you what your favorite color of the alphabet was?"

Gen frowned. "Yeah, I thought it was complete nonsense and told you to start making sense or I'd pummel you until you did."

Lore beamed. "Exactly!"

"And somehow, you translated that into a Find-It bag and a set of variously sized bottles?"

"Yep," Lore said. "They range from fairy to Goron-sized. And now you don't have to go rummaging in your bag for them!"

Gen smiled. "That's perfect. Thanks."

"Hang on," Mask said, having opened his gift to find an ocarina-care set. "So that one time when you asked me how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood was actually _relevant_?"

Lore nodded, beaming.

"...That's bizarre. And by the way, thanks for this. I was getting worried about keeping my ocarina nice."

Ocarina – the person, not the instrument – frowned. "Shoot, that would have been really nice to have..."

"Well, if you'd given the same answer as Mask then you would have gotten the same gift," Lore said. "Besides, whatever I got him I would eventually get you."

Ocarina visibly brightened.

"So what'd I get as you?" Mask asked, scooting over to his older-but-younger self. Ocarina held up a small but surprisingly thick book.

"It's the Dictionary and Guidebook to Time Travel and the Future Tense," Ocarina read off the back. "We can record our personal timeline and use this to figure out where and when we are, and then use the dictionary to get our tenses right when we're explaining to each other when and where we came from or are going to go."

Mask gave Ocarina a high-five. "Sweet!"

"No more getting confused!" Ocarina agreed.

By that point, the other Links had delved into their own gifts and were similarly pleased/surprised. Dusk had received an intensive guidebook on wolves (which he promptly sat down with and began reading), and a set of brushes that seemed to be made for animals. This confused him until Lore explained that the brushes were for Midna.

"She seems to like taking advantage of your inability to talk back when you're a wolf," he explained. "So now she has all the tools to groom you and make you feel awkward."

Inside Dusk's head, Midna burst into hysterical laughter.

'_That is EASILY the best thing I've ever gotten!'_ she giggled. _'Pray to your goddesses, little wolf. I'm going to have FUN with this.'_

Dusk got a distinct feeling that he was doomed.

Speck opened his gift to find a small blue gem-like object. After a moment of examination, he discovered that it created a self-sustaining shield around the holder.

"Oh, that's for when you're tiny," Lore explained. "It shrinks with you and it's designed to withstand a falling mountain. You told me once that getting attacked by everything is an occupational hazard of being small, so now you don't need to worry."

Speck blinked, then carefully tucked the gem into his bag.

"Thank you," he said. Lore winked.

Steam received a set of tinkering tools and some scrap metal and promptly set about making something loud and rackety. Realm received a compass which would straight out tell the person if they were going the wrong way, and the easiest set of operating instructions Lore could find. Wind received... his pictograph.

"...How?" Wind asked.

Lore snickered. "Look underneath."

Wind did so and discovered a new bag, with a nicely coordinated button on the closing flap.

"And now you won't get pick-pocketed so much," Lore said.

Wind rolled his eyes, smiling, and set about transferring his things into his new bag.

Shadow received a paper with an enchantment for changing the words on his cloak. Within minutes of reading the instructions he had changed the words from 'Death to Cows' to 'Touch Me and Die. Or suffer severe mutilation. Possibly both.'

Red, Blue, Green, and Vio had all received pieces of a tracking stone. The idea was that if they ever got separated, the individual pieces would locate one another and tell them where the others were. And if they ever put the Four Sword back, the pieces of the stone could be slotted together into one large rock.

The Four had received an enchantment that grew stronger the more people used it at once. This automatically granted them a multiplier of eight on whatever damage they did, but it only worked if the people involved were completely in sync. Luckily, Lore had figured that wouldn't be a problem.

Mask had, eventually, remembered to bring out Oni and had slipped the Fierce Deity onto his face. After a quick conversation with the Original Link, he eventually persuaded Oni to unwrap the gift. Oni received a set of sword care oils and polishers and, after careful contemplation, decided he approved of the gift and set about polishing his Double Helix weapon with long, steady strokes.

"I take it this means you like it?" Lore asked.

Oni paused in his polishing. _"__...Indeed. How were you aware that I wished to care for my weapon more properly?"_

Lore grinned. "Remember that time I popped in and said you needed a suntan?"

Oni tilted his head. _"__I fail to see how that event is significant."_

"That's the idea," Lore told him.

Sketch had opened his gift to find a simple necklace with a deep blue scale hanging from it. It was nice, sure, but he also wasn't sure he needed or wanted a piece of jewelry.

"Oh, that's for when you have to go swimming," Lore explained. "I had a guy put some spells on it that creates an air layer around you when you go under. It lets you breathe and prevents you from getting wet."

Sketch considered the trinket again and grinned. This was going to make oceans a lot more bearable.

At that point, everyone had opened their packages and were admiring/using their gifts. The only problem was that nobody knew what they were for or why. So Realm decided to ask.

"I'm not complaining about all this," he began. "But what's it all for?"

"Well, around this time of year people sometimes give gifts as a show of how much they mean to one another," Lore said. "It usually involves waking up to find the gifts underneath the tree, but I decided to just give them all now. What do you guys think?"

Everyone exchanged glances.

"...We like it," Dusk smiled.

"Excellent!" Lore declared. "We'll make it a thing."

"Does all this have a name?" Speck asked.

Lore shrugged. "If it does, I don't remember it."

He grinned, slightly concerningly. "But this worked brilliantly for the other thing I was trying to do."

"And what would that be?" Gen asked, eyes narrowed.

"Distracting you all long enough so that the Windfish moves on and I don't have to deal with it," Lore answered.

Sure enough, the Windfish was nowhere to be found. And Lore was incredibly pleased with himself.

"You went to all this," Blue said, gesturing at the Winter, tree, fireplace, and gifts, "to avoid dealing with an albino whale?"

Lore nodded cheerfully.

"...I really do think he's lost it," Realm decided.

* * *

**Merry Christmas, everyone!**

**Okay. I decided to calculate the number of views Dimensional Links has gotten so far, and I am frankly flabbergasted. This story has 49,957 views. FORTY-NINE THOUSAND VIEWS. **

**You guys are all amazing.**

**Also... guess what got a TV Tropes page?**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to Shikabocha, I483, hilli98215, HeroofTime73, PokeHetaFan, MaelstromYouko, AlmightlyHann, Catchandelier, and Ellenar Ride for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**RotomKnight: Yes, I am aware that streaking can mean running around without clothes. However, it can also mean sprinting really really fast. I'm sure you can tell which meaning I was using.**

**The has-been who never will be: Oh. Gosh. Um... Probably a combo between Realm and Lore. I get lost insanely easily, plus I'm ridiculously optimistic. And I ****_really_**** love bad puns and references and things. As for you... well, I don't think I know you well enough to personality-type you. You seem pretty enthusiastic, so... Red, maybe? **


	45. Chapter 44

**How was your Christmas?**

**(Very good, thanks for asking Universe. I got an ocarina and have been learning to play it decently and somewhat squawkily. I can now perform the Song of Time without any problems!)**

**But...?**

**(...That's about the only one so far. I'm working on the Song of Storms, but the notes move so fast I can't keep up yet. I can play it at about half-time though.)**

**That's not playing it for real then.**

**(Oi! You try figuring out this thing, there's twelve holes on it!)**

**Don't have hands. Now, the author does not own the Legend of Zelda. Which is good, because if OoT was based on your musical skills then Hyrule would be doomed.**

**(...I'm still learning...)**

* * *

After dissolving the Winter, packing up the gifts, re-planting the tree, returning the socks and dealing with the massive excess of Moon Pearls, The Links were ready to deal with whatever Lore's Hyrule would throw at them.

The only problem was that they weren't actually _in_ Lore's Hyrule.

"It _had_ to be Labrynna," Lore grumbled.

"Didn't you get that from the fact that we froze the Maku Tree and the socks we borrowed clearly said 'Made in Labrynna' on them?" Mask pointed out.

"I was otherwise occupied."

"Yeah, confusing the heck out of the rest of us," Ocarina agreed.

"Would your villains really be in your Hyrule anyways?" Speck asked. "From what you've told us it sounds like most of your time was spent in another country."

"Two other countries," Lore corrected absently. "When you put it like that, it makes sense... Oh well. We go!"

With that, the ginger Link marched off in a completely random direction with purposeful steps and absolutely no idea where he was going.

In other words, his normal order of operations.

"Should we just search Labrynna since we're here?" Wind asked, jogging a bit to catch up. "It'd probably save some time."

"Problem is, Labrynna's big," Lore replied.

"And which country isn't?"

"Point," Lore admitted. "I wonder... you might want to plug your ears."

Everyone, from Wind to Shadow, promptly did so, having had _much_ experience with exactly how loud Lore could actually be. Several of them took a few steps back for good measure.

Lore took a massive breath, which seemed to far outstrip his lung capacity, and bellowed, "**_MAAAAAAAPLEEEE!_**" at the loudest volume he could manage. Which was considerable.

Realm waited for his ears to stop ringing before he lowered his hands and asked, "What exactly will that do?"

"There's a witch here," Lore said. "She flies around and crashes on me sometimes. It's pretty predictable, and I'd predict she's about to crash right about..."

He abruptly ducked and a young girl in purple on a broomstick went careening over his head and plowed spectacularly into the dirt, scattering a multitude of random items in the process.

"Now," Lore finished. "Hey Maple, how've you been?"

"Why don't you watch where you're going once in a while?!" she snapped. "Look what you made me do!"

"I see you're using your broom again," Lore noted. "What happened to the flying vacuum cleaner? I liked that one."

Gen raised an incredulous eyebrow at that.

"The Great Witch said it wasn't suited to be the ride of her Apprentice," Maple grumbled. "But that's not important! _Why_ were you yelling my name so loudly?! You startled me right out of the sky!"

"Oh, right," Lore snapped his fingers. "You can do magic, yeah?"

Maple gave him a deadpan stare. "I _am_ a witch."

"Perfect. Can you give us a lift?"

"Do I look like a transport service?!"

Sketch raised a hand. "Actually, I know a witch named Irene and she gives me a lift sometimes."

Maple rounded on him. "Is my name Irene?! NO! It's Maple, and I am not a pack mule!"

"I never said you were," Sketch squeaked, now seriously regretting opening his mouth in the first place.

"Why would I even _consider_ giving you a ride?!" Maple continued, loudly. "I don't even like you! You make me drop my stuff and then I'm always late!"

"Speaking of which," Lore said, "here's your Magic Potion back." He held up a bottle full of the stuff and Maple snatched it from his hand with a _humph._

"I have no interest in helping you," she finished, giving Lore a glare. He thoroughly ignored it; such a low-level look had absolutely no effect on him, especially compared to some of the _Looks _Shadow could dish out.

"No no, you wouldn't be helping _us _per se," Lore said. "More specifically, you'd be helping Labrynna by helping us get around. In that, you'd be removing us as far from the country as possible so that we don't accidentally destroy it through collateral damage."

Maple blinked. "Say what now?"

"I don't know if you've noticed, but I seem to have found about eighteen more of myself," Lore continued. "Now, if you'll remember _my_ destructive tendancies, then you have a pretty good idea of what we tend to get into."

Maple blinked again, this time slightly more nervously

"What I'm proposing, is that you do your home-country a favor and remove us from the premises. Entirely."

"I'm from Holodrum," Maple said bluntly.

"Really? From the amount of time you spend in whatever place I'm at I could have sworn you were Labrynnian..." Lore mused. "Either way, if you don't give us a ride we're going to put him," he pointed at Realm, "in charge of navigational direction and tell him to find Hyrule."

Everyone else immediately blanched.

"DON'T... do that," Dusk said with feeling.

"I'd get us to the exact opposite destination," Realm agreed.

"I know that, Holodrum is in the opposite direction of Hyrule," Lore said.

"...Are you supposed to be threatening my country?" Maple asked, confused. "Because I honestly can't tell."

"Exactly!" Lore declared. "That's why you should give us a lift. Any questions?"

"...What?"

"Can you give us a lift around Labrynna?" Lore asked patiently.

Maple blinked yet again, opened her mouth, frowned, closed it, and furrowed her brow as she tried and failed to figure out what had just happened. Then she gave up and just considered the question.

"...You can tag along while I make my deliveries," she decided eventually. "There'a a reason I'm always carrying so much stuff, after all. How do you all feel about heights?"

"Love them," Gen grinned.

"And I think the rest of us are indifferent," Wind finished.

"More or less," Green agreed.

Maple pursed her mouth in thought. "...Okay. This is going to be really awkward and uncomfortable." Then she grinned. "For you. You're all gonna need to grab the end of my broomstick and hang on for dear life."

"Din, why?" Steam grumbled.

"It's not like my broom comes equipped with extra seats and handholds, you know," Maple scolded. "Stop complaining and be glad I'm even agreeing to this. Do you _know_ how much mileage this is going to cost me?"

Rather than try to answer that question, which was undoubtedly a bad idea, the Links began assembling themselves on the end of the broomstick and tried to fit everyone on. They ended up with all the Links who had strengthening gloves holding on to the actual broom, and then holding on to the rest of the group with their other hands. Speck, on the other hand, shrunk down and hitched a ride on Dusk's hat, as it was long and floppy and provided multiple handholds.

* * *

Impressively, Maple's broom did in fact carry all eighteen of it's passengers to Maple's first delivery location. And while the Witch Apprentice did her business, the Links poked around to see if they could find Lore's native villains.

"I'm thinking," Mask decided, "that this particular section of Labrynna is just a bit too quiet to have evil people."

"You never know," Lore said, looking intensely underneath a small and insignificant pebble as though it could be hiding Ganon. "We deal with some weird stuff sometimes."

"That's true," Vio agreed. "But I think I agree with Mask. It's too peaceful here for that."

"You never know," Lore repeated. "But I think I can find out. Hey! Person over there!"

A middle-aged man with a bit of a potbelly looked somewhat startled as Lore addressed him and frowned in polite confusion. "Er... yes?"

"Despite all evidence to the contrary, this is a very important question," Lore said seriously. "Have you seen a large blue pig, a metal mace man, and a woman who re-defines creepy?"

The stranger blinked. "No, I... I'm sorry, who are you?"

"Absolutely no one of any importance whatsoever," Lore replied promptly. "Would that be a 'No', then?"

"Yes," the man said. "I mean, no. I mean, yes, it's a no. I mean-"

"No, you have not seen these people," Lore finished.

"Yes," the man agreed.

"Right," Lore said, performing an abrupt heel-face turn and marching back to the broom. "Maple! We are in need of transport!"

* * *

"A woman who... re-defines creepy?" the boy repeated, frowning. "Does my sister count?"

"Well, that depends," Lore said. "Is your sister a tall enchantress with bad fashion and a desperate need of a suntan?"

"No, she's kinda short and she wears dresses," the boy said. "I'm not too sure about the enchantress part though... want me to ask her?"

"Better not," Lore decided. "If it turns out that she is, we don't want her to know we're onto her."

* * *

"Blue pigs?" the rancher said. "I don't got blue pigs. If'n you're still interested though, I got white pigs, brown pigs, pink pigs, black pigs, white and brown pigs, white and pink pigs, white and black pigs, brown and pink pigs, black and pink pigs, black and brown pigs, black brown and pink pigs, black brown and white pigs, black white and pink pigs, brown white and pink pigs..."

"In hindsight, a pig farmer probably wasn't the best person to ask about this," Lore mused as the man continued listing his variously colored porkers.

"You think?" Steam asked dryly.

* * *

"Is this a joke?"

Lore shrugged. The woman stared at him, readjusted her baby, and continued staring.

"A 'metal mace man'?" she continued. "Are you serious? What part of that even makes sense? Is this man made of metal? Is he made of maces? Wouldn't someone like that be terribly conspicuous?"

"Those are all excellent questions that I most certainly do not have the answers for," Lore said.

The woman gave him a glare and protectively shifted her baby in her arms. "You're insane," she told him in no uncertain terms, and walked off.

"She _nailed_ you like a hammer," Mask observed.

Lore grimaced. "There are approximately two people that I accept defeat from: Midna and Shadow. We will never speak of this incident again."

Mask just grinned disturbingly.

* * *

"Doesn't ring a bell," the teen shrugged. "Sorry."

* * *

"That's an odd question..." a girl mused. "Wait – is this some sort of game? Am I being recorded?! That is so cool!"

"That's actually not it at all," Lore mumbled, being extremely disappointed in himself for not thinking of that idea sooner. The excited female ignored this, being far too busy leaning in close and trying to find the 'hidden phonograph'.

"Hi Mom!" she yelled.

* * *

"How large would you say this pig was?" the local butcher asked with a gleam in his eye.

"Not large enough for that," Gen decided hastily and dragged Lore off before he could make things worse.

* * *

"You're looking for a woman? Is she hot?"

Lore blinked. "...What now?"

"Is she hot?" the man repeated. "Obviously if you're looking for her she must be pretty important to you. The fact that she's with another man means she's cheating on you and left with him. Therefore, you're out for revenge. Is she hot enough to be worth it?"

Lore gaped incredulously at him. "Okay, first of all, _EWW. _Second of all, _EWW_ again. Third of all, why is she only worth it if she's hot?"

The man shrugged. "S'how I see it."

Lore glared at him. "And do you have a girlfriend?"

"...No."

"Gee," Lore said in the driest, most sarcastic voice he had. "I wonder why that could be."

* * *

The mime, who was currently 'trapped in a box', shook his head emphatically and motioned his apologies.

"That's fine then, thanks for your time," Mask said.

The mime waved, then went back to figuring his way out of the 'box'. It looked like quite a difficult puzzle.

"You got all that out of some hand motions?" Realm asked.

"I'm fluent in Facial Expressions, remember?" Mask reminded him. "That guy is the single most expressive person I've ever met."

Realm looked back at the mime, who had found his way out of the 'box' but now seemed to have gotten caught in a savage gust of 'wind'.

"Surprising for a guy who doesn't speak," he said.

* * *

"I haven't seen anyone like that," the boy frowned. "Are you sure you've got the descriptions right?"

"Absolutely positive," Lore said.

"Even the blue pig?"

"Even the blue pig," Lore agreed.

"Er... no, sorry."

* * *

"Ralph!" Lore exclaimed ecstatically and swung his arm around the shoulder of a red-haired teen in robes long enough to trip over. "How've you been, my man?"

Ralph – as that was evidently the boy's name – took one look at Lore and turned an alarming shade of white.

"Please tell me there's a valid reason that you're here that doesn't involve the end of the world," Ralph groaned.

"There is a valid reason I'm here that does not involve the end of the world," Lore said.

"Really?"

"Yeah, about that..."

Ralph dropped his head into his palms. "Dangit. Link, for once in your life could you _try_ not to attract supervillains?"

"It's not my fault this time," Lore said. "Well, technically I suppose it might be, but this time I get to split the blame between all eighteen of myself."

Ralph blinked frantically. "All... _eighteen?_"

Lore pointed.

Ralph then, fearfully, turned his head to look behind himself and was greeted with the sight of the Links' usual antics when they didn't have anything to distract them. Namely, barely-contained chaos. Dusk glanced up from where he was keeping Shadow from pummeling Blue into pulp and sent Ralph an apologetic grimace.

"If it helps, this is a lot better than we used to be," he said.

From the look on Ralph's face, it didn't help in the slightest.

"Why me..." he whimpered faintly.

"Because you put up with me," Lore said brightly. "Now, not to alarm you or anything, but have you by any chance seen Veran around? She _may_ have managed to make a comeback."

"...Of course she did. Have you checked the past?"

Lore blinked. "Actually, no. Be back in two seconds, hopefully. Speck, time me!"

He withdrew his Harp of Ages from his bag and blasted out a power chord before vanishing into thin air. Speck immediately began counting. Ralph rubbed his eyes and sighed, then turned to the rest of the Links.

"So, are you-" he began, only to get interrupted by Lore spontaneously appearing five steps to the left.

"Six and a half seconds," Speck said.

"Cheese crackers and toast on a pickle!" Lore complained. "That's quite possible my worst record to date!"

"Hang on, 'toast on a pickle'?" Gen asked. "Shouldn't that be the other way around?"

Lore glanced at him, befuddled. "Why would I do that?"

"Uh, Veran?" Ralph prompted him.

"Oh yeah. She's not there."

Ralph sighed in relief. "Thank goodness for that."

"Yeah, it's nice and all," Lore frowned. "But now we're out of places to look in Labrynna."

"Wait, you mean-"

"On to Holodrum!" Lore declared, and marched off to accost Maple into giving them yet another ride.

Ralph glanced at the rest of the Links. "I think-and I'm not sure how this is possible-he's gotten _more_ crazy since I last saw him. How do you deal with it?"

"Well, for some reason we saw fit to make him half our leadership," Steam said. "But he's actually quite good at it when he tries. The rest of the time, he makes life interesting."

"Besides," Sketch picked up, "it's not as if he's the only one of us with quirks."

At that moment, the Four ran past in their usual complete unison and said, frantically, "**Shadow insulted the butcher's face and the butcher took offense to that and he tried to attack Shadow but Shadow took offense to **_**that**_** and now we need help to save the butcher from Shadow!**"

"...Believe it or not, this is actually fairly normal," Ocarina sighed. "SHADOW! YOU CAN'T DECAPITATE REGULAR PEOPLE! WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THIS!"

* * *

"You're just lucky I had deliveries in Holodrum too," Maple grumbled as she dropped the Links on the ground. "All this extra weight is really putting my poor broom through some stress."

"...If you say so," Vio said doubtfully.

"Question," Wind said, glancing around. "How is this any different from Labrynna?"

"I'm glad you asked," Lore said, gesturing flamboyantly. "Underneath Holodrum... is Subrosia!"

There was a short silence, in which a random cricket chirped to itself.

"...And Subrosia is different how?" Mask asked.

"Obviously because of the Subrosians."

"What is a Subrosian?"

"That," Lore said, pointing. The group turned around to see a diminutive... something in a full-body green cloak. That was it. There was literally no part of the actual being that one could see outside of the clothing. Even the hood was so deep that the only thing visible were the being's large and glowing white eyes.

"That's _adorable_," Red cooed.

"No, that's a Subrosian," Lore corrected nonsensically. "If I'm right... I think I know him. I just need to remember his name."

At that moment, the Subrosian, who had been doing his darnedest to blend in with the shrubbery, spotted Lore and carefully made his way over-after checking the coast was clear, of course.

"Link!" he exclaimed. "Are you here for Rosa?"

"No, we're seeing other people," Lore said. "Seriously, that was old news about six rounds of news ago. Where've you been?"

"Who's Rosa?" Gen asked.

"Nice girl, Subrosian with a pink bow. We just had some differences and decided to part as friends."

Gen frowned. "But... you mean you dated a hood with a bow?"

"Hey, she was in there, she was just really deeply buried," Lore scolded. "Subrosians are people too."

"We're just really shy and extremely susceptible to sunburns," the still-unnamed Subrosian agreed.

"So... guy, how're things?" Lore asked.

"Oh, we're doing alright," the Subrosian said. "We're trying a more nonchalant approach to surface encounters. The current theory is if we act like we're supposed to be here, then nobody will notice."

"And it's worked brilliantly for me in the past," Lore said. "And on a completely unrelated topic, have you seen Onox lately?"

"Er... who?"

"Tall guy, covered in armor, carries a big spiky mace? Seriously, he dropped the Temple of Seasons on you, how'd you miss him?"

"We were a bit busy making sure _he_ missed _us_."

Lore compared this with what he knew about the Subrosian people.

"Fair enough. Oh, by the way, these guys here are also me through a complicated set of circumstances, so no worries about your anonymity. Cool?"

The Subrosian cocked his head. "...'Cool'?"

"Opposite of hot, guy, you _really_ need to get out more."

The Subrosian shrugged.

"So just to clarify," Dusk said, "the entirety of this conversation has been the confirmation that Onox is in fact _not _here?"

"That is entirely correct," Lore said. "Nice talking to you, guy, but we've got a villain to find. MAPLE!"

"Bye Link!" the Subrosian waved.

"Can I just point out that you called him 'guy' for the past few minutes instead of bothering to remember his name?" Wind asked, mildly annoyed.

"What are you talking about? That _is_ his name," Lore replied.

"His name is Guy?"

"Was it not obvious?"

"Not the way you were using it," Wind muttered.

* * *

After that, the Links quickly discovered that all the Subrosians looked exactly alike. The only hope of telling them apart was whether their cloak was green or blue, and even that wasn't helpful in the slightest due to the fact that about half the population wore blue and the other half wore green. This was made even more confusing by the fact that the Subrosian population was completely unknowable. How could you count the people when you couldn't even tell them apart to begin with?

Lore, naturally, was for some reason exempt from this, and proceeded to name each and every Subrosian the group met – correctly.

At the end of the day, they still hadn't found the villains they were looking for, but everyone had a renewed opinion of their half-leader.

Namely, his sheer impossibility.

* * *

"Link! I see you've still not broken any signs!" the Subrosian nodded approvingly. "I'm so glad I have someone who sees them for the wonderful inventions they are!"

"A sign saved my life once," Lore replied, nodding sagely. "It said, 'Warning: Cliff'. I was so grateful!"

"I know, right?!" the Subrosian gushed.

"By the way, have you seen a blue pig, creepy woman, or metal man?" Lore asked. "They hate signs."

"Those villains!" the Subrosian gasped. "But no, I have not seen them. Otherwise I would punish the fiends!"

"Eh, worth a shot. Thanks, Sign-Loving Subrosian."

"No problem," he chirped.

This time, the rest of the group waited until they were out of earshot. "That _cannot_ actually be his name," Wind said. "Right?"

"No, that's actually his name," Lore said. "If you look really closely, he's wearing a nametag for it. His own personal sign, he says."

"...I think I'm beginning to figure out where you got your weirdness from," Realm muttered.

* * *

Other notable Subrosians were the Subrosian Chef (and yes, that actually was his name), who hadn't seen any of the villains but was quite content to offer everyone soup; the Strange Brothers (and yes, those were actually their names, they went by One and Two) who nobody actually managed to ask about the villains because everyone was too busy trying to keep their items from being stolen (the Brothers were avid thieves); and a Subrosian called Master who didn't actually say anything but somehow managed to communicate all the same.

The rest of the Subrosians seemed fairly normal by Subrosian standards and were doing normal Subrosian things like taking a relaxing bath in molten lava (somehow their clothes stayed intact), mistaking collectable hearts for peaches, digging up their local currency-literally, and doing traditional Subrosian dancing.

The Subrosians, the Links decided, were a strange people.

* * *

"This had better be the last ride you people need," Maple complained loudly as she dropped off the Links in Hyrule. "Because I am _not_ doing it again, and I don't care if this isn't your last stop. Too bad!"

"This is fine, actually," Lore said. "Thanks a ton, Maple."

"There had better be some serious world-saving going on," Maple grumbled. "Don't call me again!"

With that, the Witch Apprentice happily took off, having been freed of her multiple Link burden.

"Alright everyone, welcome to my Hyrule," Lore said, spreading his arms. "When nobody's invading, it's rather boring in my opinion."

"Lore!"

"Hey, take it from me. Once you've saved the world, normal life gets kinda dull. Once you've saved the world three-and-a-questionable-fourth times, normal life gets almost unbearable. Once we've saved the universe... I predict we're all going to be very, very stir-crazy."

"...He's kinda got a point," Mask conceded. "After I saved Hyrule from Ganondorf I had a lot of trouble adjusting to normal life again. That's what eventually landed me in Termina. I kinda went looking for it." He thought for a moment, then pointed at Ocarina and said, "Remember that for your turn."

Ocarina frowned and wrote that down in his Paradox Book, under the section entitled 'Things I Need to do to Avoid Universal Collapse'.

"Back to the point?" Dusk prompted everyone.

"Oh, right. Anyways, the Castle is this way," Lore finished, pointing and walking off in said direction. Not that it was entirely necessary, since the group could see the Castle in the distance, but the gesture was nice.

It only took the Links a few minutes to get where they were going, most of which was spent trying to convince Shadow not to change his cloak-lettering to something unprintable. This argument naturally drew a lot of strange looks, but curiously enough when the locals saw Lore they instantly nodded to themselves with a resigned but curiosity-satisfied sort of way and went about their business.

This said a lot about Lore's normal mode of operations.

* * *

"Zelda!" Lore exclaimed, barging through the throne room door as if he owned it. "I have a question!"

Zelda, who was sitting on her throne, sighed, smiled, and said, "Link, it's been a while. How were Labrynna and Holodrum? You've been gone quite a while."

There was a beat of silence as Lore said absolutely nothing.

"...Uh... You gonna answer her?" Steam said quietly.

Lore looked at him, then up at Zelda. And continued to do absolutely nothing. He was scrutinizing the Princess in the same way the Links usually approached a dungeon or temple of some sort – with great caution.

"Link?" Zelda repeated, worried. "What's wrong?"

Behind her, one of the royal guards, a massively built man with a mace hanging from his belt, shifted slightly into an attack stance. Zelda waved him off and continued to watch Lore carefully.

"Lore, this is not the time to experiment with amateur miming!" Gen hissed.

"Link, are you alright?" Zelda asked, now sounding seriously concerned.

"...I'm fine, Princess," Lore said, carefully. "Both Labrynna and Holodrum were enjoyable, if you discount the maniac who turned into a dragon and the psychopath who turned into a giant spider. How've you been?"

The Princess frowned. "Link, are you feeling well? You're normally not this formal."

"That's an understatement," Sketch whispered. Red giggled.

"I'm fine," Lore repeated. "If you'll excuse me, you'll notice I have guests. I'd like to show them around."

"I'm sure that can be arranged," Zelda agreed. "Oh, but you said you had a question for me?"

"Never mind, I forgot I already knew the answer," Lore said, grinning. To the rest of the Links, it seemed ever so slightly fixed. "See you later, Princess."

Then, out the side of his mouth to the rest of the group, he whispered, "Follow me and _don't say anything._"

This being highly out of character, nobody argued.

* * *

Lore didn't relax until the group was outside of Castle Town and a fair distance from the walls for good measure.

"Okay, what's actually wrong?" Wind asked. "You don't get serious unless there's a _really_ good reason."

"That wasn't Zelda," Lore said.

"...Sure looked like her to me," Mask said.

"Trust me," Lore replied, "that wasn't her. It's definitely her body, but that's not her."

"...Alright, then... who was it?" Blue asked.

"Well, I may have forgotten to mention this sooner, but one of the villains I fought could possess people. I had one _heck_ of a time figuring out where she was the last time, so I made sure I would always be able to tell."

"And you think she's in Zelda?"

Lore nodded.

Realm frowned. "Er... not to doubt your expertise in this, but how exactly _can_ you tell? She looked completely normal to me."

"It's the eyes," Lore said. "Veran's good, but there's no such thing as a perfect possession. All I needed to do was find her flaw. When she possesses someone, her influence changes their eye shape to match hers. It's kinda... slanted, and it makes their face look just a tiny bit twisted. Like they're thinking of all the ways they can kill you while they smile."

"Well, you would know, I guess," Dusk decided. "She's your Zelda, after all."

"Except that's not the only problem," Lore continued grimly. "That guard with the mace? All the weapons used by the royal guard are supplied by the Castle Armory. For starters, there aren't any maces, and I would know because I went through that entire room looking for a properly balanced weapon. Second, all the weapons from the Armory have the Royal Crest on them, and that one didn't. Also, Onox uses a mace exactly like that one."

There was a beat of silence as the Links absorbed that.

"And Ganon?" Vio asked.

"Well, he's a blue pig. Bit conspicuous, and Veran's anything but stupid. She wouldn't blow her cover so easily."

"This could be a problem," Ocarina realized.

"This is already a problem," Dusk corrected. "She's posing as the Princess of Hyrule. How are we supposed to get her out if the whole country will think we just committed treason?"

* * *

**Sorry this took so long... I've been busy filling out forms. Who knew you needed a resume ****_and_**** a cover letter just to apply to an internship?**

**Also... it took a ****_really_**** long time to figure out how to go about this.**

**Please note the new cover image, which was very nicely made by Nitro Indigo. I'm no longer Anonymous!**

**Lastly, WE HIT 500 REVIEWS! Congratulations and thank you to Gamemaster Nick. Never in my wildest imaginings did I think this story would get so popular. I've said this before, but seriously. You guys are amazing.**

* * *

**Thanks to darkraizerG****x1, Toto30agosto, Mercenary Princess of Crimea, alatnet, GoldenPearl01, Tempest190, FlowerPowerWriter, HelenTheMoon, ****Plague saviourofthe wastelands, vandetta442,****Animapower, and ****Multusvalde ****for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**The has-been who never will be: Design-wise... probably Twilight Princess or Skyward Sword. Nothing wrong with the toons, I just prefer a more natural proportioning. / Game-wise, I like them all too much. Can't choose. / As for OC's, I don't plan on adding any. This is a timeline-and-canon centric fic, and I don't plan on changing that.**

**Guest: Not very much. If the Windfish shows up again, it'll probably be because I feel like tormenting Lore. It likely won't be a specific plot-point.**

**HelenTheMoon: What was wrong with all the others? / That sounds hilarious. Good idea.**

**Guest: I know there's no Oracle Ganon. I only named him that because there was already a Hyrule Ganon. / I know that too. It was meant to be a joke. And, technically, you could consider the Shadow Creatures beasts. If they don't fit that description I don't know what does. / And I know Ghirahim is Demise's sword. Did I say otherwise? If I did, please let me know where I did that so I can correct it. I ****_hate_**** plot-holes. Aside from all that, thanks for reading!**


	46. Chapter 45

**So how's that Song of Storms coming?**

**(Turns out, I had about half the notes being played flat when they should have been played sharp. I fixed that, and it sounds much better now. I'm still not up to full tempo though…)**

**That's nice. I don't actually care, I was just making filler. I'm the Universe, after all, I have bigger things to worry about than one fan author and their ocarina problems. **

**(Such as?)**

**Black holes, quantum physics, keeping foolish humans from breaking the lightspeed barrier and inadvertently causing a spacial collapse… little stuff like that.**

**(…sorry I asked…)**

**Good. Now, the author does not own the Legend of Zelda. This is, on the whole, a good thing, because the author is not a Graphic Design, Computer Design, Media Design, or Animation major, and thus has no idea how to create game graphics.**

**(This is true. I would not be good at Animation. I have no problem with this one.**

* * *

"This is an absolutely terrible plan," Dusk muttered.

"Maybe you should have mentioned that in the planning stage!" Mask hissed from right beside him.

"I was too busy being incredulous."

* * *

_"__Here's what we're going to do," Lore said. "We're going to kidnap Zelda. And by that I mean Veran."_

_"__Er... not to be the downer, but exactly how are we going to do that?" Wind asked._

_"__By planning dramatically while sneaky music plays in the background!" Lore declared._

_***Author's Note: The flashbacks are more or less based on Mission: Impossible. Feel free to look up the theme song on Youtube and play it while you read the chapter :)***_

* * *

"This isn't going to work," Vio murmered.

"Shut up and pull," Blue snapped. "And keep your smartness to yourself until _after_ we've failed miserably."

* * *

_"__Dusk, Mask, you two have the best options where no-one is likely to recognize you. You're the distraction."_

_"__Who are we distracting?"_

_"__Everyone, really. As long as nobody's watching 'Zelda'."_

_"__You mean Veran?"_

_"__No. Yes. Shut up."_

_"__...I wasn't saying anything."_

_"__You were thinking. Oh, by the way Onox will probably try to brain you with a large metal spike ball. Just to let you know."_

* * *

"Plan A or Plan B?" Mask questioned.

"...Plan A," Dusk decided.

"Aw, dang," Mask grumbled. "I've been practicing my screams of absolute terror too..."

"We can use Plan B if Plan A doesn't work."

"I'm only joking," Mask said, pulling out his Deku... mask. "Ready?"

Dusk took off his sword and passed it to his fellow Link, then opened the drawstring pouch around his neck.

"Ready."

* * *

_"__While those two are making with the distracting, the second group will enter in the background. This group has two specific tasks. One is to block all the exits except for one, which will be used to herd Zelda-Veran out of the throne room. The other task is to assist in the distracting if necessary. Sketch, Steam,Vio, Blue, Green, Red, that's you guys."_

_"__Can we have Shadow?" Green asked. "His form manipulation could come in really handy."_

_"__Shadow's actually on a different squad..."_

_"__How's that then?"_

_"__It's the one that he's least likely going to hit me for."_

_Shadow nodded in agreement with this._

* * *

The doors to the throne room abruptly burst open as a Deku Scrub riding a massive wolf came rocketing through, causing several people to have various amusing reactions of surprise and shock.

"I AM YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!" Mask bellowed at the top of his Deku Scrub lungs. Dusk, currently a wolf, snarled in tandem with this statement.

"SURRENDER NOW OR I WILL BE FORCED TO COVER THIS ROOM IN BUBBLES!"

'Zelda' frowned. "That doesn't sound very scary-"

"FROM MY MOUTH!" Mask added.

"...Still not that frightening. Disgusting, yes, but not frightening."

Mask frowned, being somewhat thrown by this reaction. "BUT... THEY WILL STAIN THE CARPETING! IT WILL BE VERY STICKY!"

"Nothing a good washing couldn't take care of, I think," 'Zelda' responded.

Dusk let out an annoyed sounding rumble, which translated into the general meaning of, 'Dang, she's good,' in Mask's head.

"You want to do this the hard way then, huh? Fine," Mask muttered. "NO MORTAL WASHING CAN SAVE YOU NOW! SPIT POWERS, ACTIVATE!"

With that, the Deku Scrub Link shot a massive round of bubbles that landed and consequently burst on every conceivable surface in the throne room. Including, much to their dismay, the faces of every single guard in the vicinity.

"THE STICKINESS! _THE STICKINESS!_" one of them wailed, trying and failing to clean off their face.

"WORST! NIGHTMARE!" Mask bellowed again.

* * *

"Think that's our cue?" Blue asked just outside the one door without a three-foot layer of ice holding it shut.

"Hard to tell," Steam mused. "I say we go in anyway, just to add to the chaos."

"We _are_ rather good at chaos," Green admitted.

"Let's do this," Vio said.

They then proceeded to barge straight through the door and take poses on the other side, where Sketch stepped forward and brandished one of his multiple Rods from his adventure.

"WE ARE THE DEKU EXTERMINATION SQUAD!" he declared. "WE DEMAND THAT YOU DISMOUNT YOUR FERAL FUZZY THING AND POWER DOWN YOUR SPHERICAL PROJECTILES!"

"I SURRENDER TO NO ONE!" Mask yelled, and fired another round of bubbles-all of which conveniently found their way into 'Zelda's' hair.

"FIEND!" Sketch cried. "FEAR NOT, FAIR MAIDEN. I SHALL CLEANSE YOUR FACE!"

So saying, he pointed and fired his Rod – only to randomly spawn a massive geyser of sand in the middle of the throne room floor.

"...I MAY HAVE USED THE WRONG ITEM!" Sketch hollered for no apparent reason.

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" Mask yelled, and immediately began using his bubbles to carry the sand into uncomfortable places in the guards' armor.

* * *

_"__At this point, I'll come in and attempt to calm everything down but only end up making it worse, because I can," Lore said. "Shadow, this is where you happen. By then in the plan nobody will care or even notice that you came out of absolutely nowhere and that's exactly how we want it. Once that's been accomplished, just be yourself. I trust you can take the rest from there."_

_"__How much am I allowed to maim?" Shadow asked, a disturbing grin on his face._

_"__You only need to incapacitate the regular guards. For Onox... just don't toy with him too much. And see if you can draw Ganon out. You're the next-best taunter aside from me and probably tied with Midna, so I expect full results."_

_Dusk abruptly flinched._

_"__Er... Midna would like me to inform you that... Wait, what?! I'm not saying that!... Midna _NO, _we've talked about this... Thank you. She says that she could taunt circles around you so fast that you'd be dizzy within two seconds."_

_"__What did she say the first time?" Speck asked curiously._

_"__...You don't want to know."_

* * *

Among all the chaos, Shadow phased into visibility next to the large guard with the spiked mace, who was trying vainly to clear his eyes of the sticky bubble-sand combination. The dark Link then smiled, boosted himself up, and quietly whispered something in the guard's ear.

"I WILL FLAY YOU LIMB FROM LIMB!" Onox roared, thus completely disproving his disguise as he had a very recognizable voice and lashing out with his weapon. As his eyes were still tightly shut and covered in gunk, this made his coordination... questionable.

"Yeah, good luck with that," Shadow said, sounding bored. He took a casual half-step sideways and the ball-and-chain came just shy of grazing his clothes. "Missed me."

Onox roared – and got hit in the mouth by a wayward bubble from Mask.

* * *

Meanwhile, about twenty feet away, Steam, Red, Blue, Vio, and Green were all 'trying' to catch Mask and Dusk and 'failing' miserably. An interesting effect of this was that all the items they tried to use inevitably 'missed' and ended up adding to the chaos. Red in particular had 'accidentally' frozen about half the royal guard to various walls and ceilings with his Ice Rod.

At this point, Sketch, who had 'accidentally' used the Sand Rod, pulled out another staff and declared, "THIS IS DEFINITELY THE CORRECT ROD!"

It turned out to be the Tornado Rod, which promptly blew the sand... well, everywhere.

"...THAT WAS NOT THE CORRECT ROD EITHER!" Sketch corrected 'sheepishly'. To his left, Vio shot an arrow through one of the bubbles and 'accidentally' pinned the sleeve of one of the few remaining royal guards.

* * *

At this point, Lore walked in through the one door that wasn't frozen over with three feet of ice, stopped, and gaped in an impressive simulation of complete shock.

"The rare Fuzzy-Riding-Ball-Spitter!" he gasped. "I must capture it for my collection!"

With that, he brandished a butterfly net that he'd borrowed from Gen and sprinted after Dusk and Mask for all he was worth, yelling, "FOR THE TAXIDERMISTS!" at the top of his lungs.

* * *

_"__Now at that point, I don't think adding any more chaos will be necessary," Lore said. "So, everyone who's not already causing a scene will be responsible for escorting 'Zelda' off the premises via the one door that hasn't been blocked."_

_"__...And do what with her?" Wind asked._

_"__I think knocking her out and tying her up with a copious amount of rope should do the trick. And a gag. We're definitely going to need a gag."_

* * *

"...That's probably _our_ cue," Gen decided, hearing the cry of, "FOR THE TAXIDERMISTS!" from outside.

"I cannot believe this is working," Wind said, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Agreed," Realm said fervently.

"Lore came up with it," Ocarina replied. "That automatically gives it a ninety percent chance of succeeding for no apparent reason."

"**True that,**" the Four agreed.

"Are we going now, or...?" Speck asked.

Gen shook himself. "Right, sorry. Have we got the ropes and cloth for gagging?"

"**Right here.**"

"Great. Let's go!"

On this cue, the Links burst through the one door without a three foot layer of ice on it – and were nearly ran over as Dusk sprinted by and Mask lobbed spit bubbles everywhere, followed closely by Lore who was waving his butterfly net sporadically and shouting random sentences about cotton as a stuffing material. This was made even more problematic when Red and Vio went sprinting after Lore, waving their Ice Rod and Bow and Arrows respectively and generally making everything worse under the pretense of trying to help. Then Blue and Green ran after _them_ yelling something about purposeful targeting, followed by Steam who had pulled out a set of Panpipes and was playing a high-pitched shrill for no apparent reason other than to kill everyone's ears. In the middle of this, Shadow went sailing by taunting an ever-more-furious Onox, who was swinging his weapon wildly and hitting everything but his snarky target. And to top it all off, Sketch still hadn't managed to find whatever Rod he was actually 'looking' for and was currently blasting both his Fire Rod and his Ice Rod at the same time, which only accomplished making one side of the room extremely crispy and the other side extremely frosty.

Somewhere in all this, the Links noted randomly, Ganon had been flushed out, but there was so much chaos going on that nobody was paying attention in the slightest. It also didn't hurt that a stray blast from Sketch had put the villain on ice – literally.

Dodging all of this, the group gradually made their way over to the shell-shocked 'Zelda', who was standing with her mouth slightly agape and covered from head to toe with a combination of slime, sand, frost, scorch marks, and one stray arrow that had lodged itself in the skirt of her dress.

"Princess, we're here to get you out!" Gen yelled in an attempt to be heard over the ruckus. "Follow us!"

"What is going on?!" 'Zelda' demanded somewhat hysterically.

"If we knew that, we would tell you!"

The sad thing was, that this statement was more or less completely truthful.

* * *

"Why is this the only door that was open?!" 'Zelda' demanded.

"Well, they appear to have been frozen shut," Ocarina told her.

"From the outside?"

"Hey, are your doors airtight?" Gen asked. "No. So it's perfectly possible that some of the ice from _inside_ worked through the cracks and settled _outside_. Logic."

"That's not how it works."

"And how would you know?"

"Is it me, or does Gen seem to be more snippy lately?" Realm whispered as his half-leader and the false princess devolved into a barely polite argument about the laws of logic and the universe in general.

"**He takes personal offense to things happening to a Zelda,**" the Four answered. "**Something about 'Never again,' we think?**"

"Oh, I forgot about that," Speck said, remembering Gen's story and what his Zelda had gone through.

"You know what, that's it!" Gen snapped suddenly. "I am taking this gag and I am putting it in your mouth until you admit that I'm right about ice physics!"

"Why do you even care?!" 'Zelda' retorted. "Nobody even _likes _mph!"

"_I _happen to like ice physics," Gen said, firmly tying the gag around 'Zelda's' head.

The rest of the Links abruptly realized where Gen was going with this. Ocarina, in response to this, held up the coil of rope and said, deadpan, "I really hope you don't remember this rope and decide to tie her hands so she can't remove the gag. That would be very un-Hero-like."

"That's a great idea, thanks!"

'Zelda' gave them all death glares. Unfortunately for her, the Links had all spent numerous hours around Shadow and were thus immune to her stare, which was quite honestly pathetic in comparison.

"Well, that part went well at least," Realm sighed. "Now for the tricky part..."

"Remind me why this was the easy part?" Gen asked.

At that exact moment, Shadow burst through the doors with both a livid Onox and a surprisingly defrosted Ganon on his heels.

"You're too slow~" he taunted. He then shot a quick look over his shoulder and snapped, "Well? What are you waiting for?!"

"...I remember now," Gen muttered. "Remind me to slap Lore later." He took a deep breath, hoisted 'Zelda' a few inches off the ground with a grunt of effort, and wheezed, "Want your sorceress back? Come and get her."

He then handed 'Zelda' off to Realm, who carefully slung her over his shoulder – it was Zelda's body after all, even if the occupant was different – and took off sprinting, followed closely by the rest of the group.

Unnoticed due to this new development, Shadow slipped back inside the still completely chaotic throne room to... well, according to the plan he was supposed to round up the remaining Links and let them know the next phase was in progress, but in all actuality he was probably going to add to the insanity because he could.

He would probably let them know... eventually.

* * *

_"__This is the _really _complicated bit,"_ _Lore said. "We need to lead them away from any populated area, and Veran is going to be our bait. Hence the rope and gag. Realm, this is primarily why you're on this squad. Since you've got the most stamina, you're going to be in charge of carrying said bait and evading the capture."_

_"__...For once I wish I didn't get lost so much," Realm mused. "Then I wouldn't be so athletic..."_

_"__Specking of which, that's why the Four and Wind are with you," Lore added. "And Speck. And Gen. Basically everyone I thought had good sense and at least _some_sense of where they're going."_

_"__Good plan."_

* * *

"When you slap Lore," Realm said, breathing steadily despite the terrific pace he was setting and the body weight draped over his shoulder, "let me know, because I think I'd like a shot myself."

"Sure... thing..." Gen panted. "How... are you... still... going?!"

"What, this?" Realm asked, surprised. "This is easy. You should have been around that time I got lost in the dungeon full of... well, everything really. I couldn't stop running because if I did, they'd catch me. I think I went for... about a week straight?"

"It only... took... you... a week... to get... out... of the... dungeon?" Speck asked breathlessly.

"No, it took me a week to whittle down the horde enough so that I could finally get a nap," Realm said. "I spent another two months trying to find my way out."

He ducked quickly as Onox's mace went whistling over his head. On his shoulder, 'Zelda' shrieked something wordless and probably derisive at the dragon man.

"They're keeping up pretty well," Realm noted. "Think I should fix that?"

"Plan... says... to let... them... follow," Wind gasped.

"Right, sorry. I'm just used to trying to lose the things chasing me... force of habit."

A sphere of orange magic shot out and blew a divot in the road slightly off to the right, causing half of the Four to leap over it. This of course threw off their coordination horribly, and for a brief moment they were all running disjointedly from one another.

Since this was completely and inherently _wrong_ to them in their Four Sword-influenced state, they all promptly tripped from discordant feedback.

"I'll get them!" Wind yelled, using up what breath he'd had at the moment and veered off from the group to help the Four get their coordination back. Annoyingly, neither Onox nor Ganon followed him and continued to chase after Realm, Gen, and Speck.

"Was... kinda... hoping... to get... a break... there," Gen admitted.

"Ah, quit being a wimp," Realm scolded. "We've only been running at basically top speed for ten minutes now, that's not much time at all."

"That's inhuman!" Speck spluttered heavily.

"Is it?" Realm frowned. He paused, used his stride momentum to readjust 'Zelda' on his shoulder, and said, "It's always seemed pretty normal to me..."

"You're... just... really... really... weird..."

"Says the boy who can shrink himself to two inches and talks with supposedly imaginary beings."

This was a good point, Speck admitted.

* * *

Sketch, in the midst of 'accidentally' firing the wrong rod yet again, blinked, looked around, and said, "Has anyone seen 'Zelda' in the past ten minutes?"

Mask, who was still a Deku scrub, at this point having somehow gone from riding on Dusk to giving Dusk, who was still a wolf, a ride, screeched to a halt in confusion and promptly fell over due to being top heavy and his residual momentum. Lore ran straight into him, as he was still sprinting after them with the butterfly net, and then Shadow loped over and sat on him just for the heck of it. Steam, Green, Blue, Vio, and Red all lowered their various weapons and projectiles and exchanged exasperated glances before Green spoke up in response.

"No, not since I saw Gen and the rest escort her out," he said.

"...Shadow, how long has it been since you were supposed to tell us to move out?" Mask questioned.

Shadow yawned deliberately, still perched on top of Lore. "Oh... give or take some minutes."

"That is incredibly unspecific," Dusk accused, having just changed himself back.

Shadow smirked. "I know."

"Could you get off me now?" Lore wheezed.

Shadow scowled, but did so... reluctantly.

"You're throwing off the plan," Lore complained as he climbed to his feet. "We were supposed to be heading out six minutes, forty-two seconds, twenty-seven milliseconds, and five nanoseconds ago."

"Then stop talking and fix it," Shadow sniffed.

"...That's BRILLIANT!"

* * *

_"__Once you've either run far enough, ran out of steam, or the rest of us have caught up, we're going to take care of the inevitable battle and kick Veran out of Zelda on the way," Lore finished. "I'm not planning for the fight because, let's face it, we usually just end up improvising anyways. Any questions?"_

_"__How accurate of a representation is this plan of the inside of your head?" Steam asked._

_"__I can neither confirm nor deny that accusation. And by that I mean yes."_

_Steam blinked. "But... that doesn't make _any_sense in the context of the question."_

_"__Exactly. Operation Kick Out The Demonic Angry Villains(tm) is a go!"_

* * *

_*__**Author's Note: This marks the end of the Mission: Impossible theme. You can go ahead and click out of Youtube now.***_

At this point, Realm was basically the only Link still running. Speck had dropped back a while ago, heaving choppy gusts of air and wheezing a barely comprehensible, "I'll... catch... up... with... you... I hope..."

Gen had lasted a bit longer, if only because he'd spent a _lot_ of time running around his native Hyrule looking for things. Realm had essentially given in to the idea that he would be the last runner – which was why it surprised him so much when the other half of the group who had previously been on Distraction, plus the fallen-behind Links, blurred past at nearly _double_ the speed.

Thankfully they slowed down once they caught up, but it was still a startling moment.

"What the heck was that?!" Realm asked.

"Song of Half-Time," Mask said, struggling to match Realm's pace. "Makes everything around you move slower while you keep moving at the same pace. Do you have _any_ idea how long we've been trying to catch up with you?"

"...No?"

"A danged long time, that's how."

"About that," Realm said. "The 'princess' is getting a little heavy, and I've been running for... twenty minutes or something? When do I stop?"

"Now seems pretty good, actually," Lore decided. "We're in the middle of effective nowhere, and if we keep trying to keep up with you, you're going to be the only one capable of standing up."

Realm nodded and started slowing down, much to the relief of practically everybody else. Onox and Ganon, although they had managed to keep up with him (a surprising feat in itself), were so out of breath that they veritably collapsed. They made amusing wheezing noises as they did so.

"...That'll probably keep them busy for a while," Realm decided. "I give them about... fifteen minutes if they've got water. If not, about twenty-five."

"You sound as though you've got experience with this," Wind noted.

"This is not, by _any_ means, the first time I've outrun a boss monster."

"Which is great, and all," Sketch interrupted. "But we've still got to get Veran out of Zelda. Any ideas?"

* * *

One brainstorm later, they still didn't have a clue.

"The problem here, is that we can't just hit her out," Lore mourned. "All the damage would just happen to Zelda."

"And hitting things is what we're best at..." Steam agreed.

"As far as I can tell from what you've said, Lore, the only way to get her out is if she does so willingly," Vio concluded. "The question is, how? Physical threats are clearly out of the question."

"Mind games?" Speck suggested.

"She's too crafty," Lore replied.

"Agreed," Gen said. "Remember the ice physics argument? She didn't even twitch an eye."

"To be fair, that wasn't exactly our usual level of confusion," Ocarina told him.

"I don't care, the point is I tried and she didn't fall for it. Well, not beyond the rope and gag at any rate."  
'Zelda' – heck with it, _Veran_ – gave him an icy stare. One could practically hear the scathing retort.

"Ah... she says she was 'playing her role, moron'," Mask translated.

"...I keep forgetting you speak Facial Expressions," Dusk muttered.

"What about bribery?" Blue said.

"With what? And do you really think we could actually live with ourselves if we did business with a villain?"

"...Blackmail?"

"If you've got some on her, I'd love to see it," Lore replied. "Do you?"

"No."

"Dang."

Veran made a snorting noise and quirked an eyebrow suggestively.

"...She says that if we beg her on hands and knees, there's a two-percent-chance of a slight possibility that she _might_ consider thinking about the concept of a six-percent-probability of the idea about letting Zelda go. Maybe," Mask translated.

Everyone blinked as they tried to process that.

"...I think that's a 'Not gonna happen, suckers'," Mask decided.

"So we can't hit her out, we can't bribe her, we _definitely_ can't ask nicely, we can't use blackmail, we can't use force, we can't use persuasion, we can't use trickery, and we probably can't wait her out because that would take forever and I don't think any of us have that much patience."

"There's also the bit where the universe will end if we don't hurry," Vio added dryly.

"That too."

"...So what you're saying is, we're sunk." Speck clarified.

Lore grunted, annoyed. "The only time I've ever seen her leave a host is willingly, and then only when there was someone more desirable to possess-"

He stopped abruptly, then tore open the flap on his bag and began shifting through the contents excitedly.

"...You gonna finish that sentence or no?" Steam asked.

"I just remembered her weakness," Lore explained. "Back when I met her the first time, she was trying to destroy the Maku Trees because they could make seeds that counteracted her powers."

"...Isn't that the thing we froze solid back in Labrynna?" Red asked hesitantly. Lore paused mid-sentence.

"...Oh yeah. Whoops... I uh, _think_ she should be defrosted by now... hopefully."

* * *

The icicle hanging off the Maku Tree's nose dripped, making both a _plop_ noise and causing an infuriating itch.

"...It's times like these that I dearly wish I had hands," the Tree sighed to herself.

* * *

"Uh... anyways, Veran spent a _lot_ of time trying to eradicate the Maku Seeds by way of eradicating the Trees," Lore continued, digging deeper into his bag. "So I took the liberty of stashing a few just... in... case... here we go!"

He pulled his arm out of his pack and brandished a small, shriveled and definitely dried-out seed that looked as though it may have been brightly colored at some point.

"I was expecting something more impressive," Gen stated.

"Hush you," Lore said. "Now if I'm right, and I am, I just need to touch her with the seed, and..."

Nothing happened.

"...I do not understand why this isn't working," Lore said, continuously poking Veran's arm with the dried seed. "Why isn't it working?"

Veran let out a strangled snicker through her gag.

"...She's mocking you derisively," Mask translated.

Lore frowned. "...Sure it was this one..." he muttered, thinking. "Seeds... cancels her powers... come from a Tree-"

He abruptly stopped and facepalmed himself.

"_Mystery_ Tree, you idiot!" he berated himself. "Mystery Seed from the Mystery Tree, how'd I get that mixed up?"

"Maybe because they're both seeds starting with 'M' that both come from Trees starting with 'M' that have similar effects on evil magic and/or people?" Dusk suggested.

"...Shut up."

"Do you have a Mystery Seed, then?"

"Of course I do, what kind of unprepared predictable person do you take me for?" Lore asked, mock-hurt. He then proceeded to pull out a second small, shriveled, and definitely dried out seed that for all intents and purposes looked nearly identical to the first one. The only difference was that this seed looked like it had once been curled up on itself, whereas the other one had just looked generically round.

Veran stopped snickering.

"Okay... take two," Lore said, holding up what was probably the correct seed this time. "Just need to touch her with the seed, and..."

Upon contact with the small plant-life, Veran let out an enraged screech. Zelda's body twitched, and suddenly there was a tall, blue-skinned woman sprawled awkwardly on the ground.

As a side effect, Princess Zelda was now bound, gagged, and thoroughly unconscious, which made for an incredibly awkward picture as it now very much looked like she'd been kidnapped.

Veran pushed herself to her feet and practically snarled at the Links. "I had _everything_ going _perfectly,_" she hissed. "I am _not_ going back to that _idiotic buffoon_ who thinks he's a _god!_ He can't do _anything_ right! But of course, _you_ had to go and _ruin ALL MY PLANS_, and _destroy_ the _ONLY CHANCE I HAD AT FIXING IT!_"

"...You do know that your definition of 'fixing it' involves the destruction of reality as we know it, right?" Wind asked.

"If you think I care about that, child, then you should reconsider your worldview," Veran sneered.

At this point, Onox and Ganon finally recovered their breath and ability to move and lumbered over to stand behind Veran.

"What _took_ you so long?!" she snapped.

"The little green people run fast," Onox rumbled, sounding annoyed. "You should try chasing them while wearing a full suit of armor sometime, it's not as easy as it looks. Then again, I doubt you could handle that sort of-"

Abruptly, Onox was flat on the ground and Veran's foot was planted firmly on his face. "You _don't_ want to finish that sentence," she informed him sweetly.

"Yes ma'am," Onox managed around her shoe.

"_If_ you two are done flirting," Ganon growled, "we have some Heroes to eliminate."

Veran leveled a nasty glare at him. "I don't flirt with those who are beneath me," she retorted. "But you have a point. Onox, get up and make yourself useful."

"...This is going to be a very strange fight," Gen observed.

Veran smiled wickedly and called up a sphere of dark violet magic that danced in her palm. "You have no idea, _Hero_."

Behind her, Onox hefted his ball-and-chain with a _clank_, and Ganon twirled his trident menacingly. Oddly enough, now that they weren't running and nobody was trying not to die, the Links were able to notice that this Ganon wore a bright-red cape.

"Hello, Mr. Caped Pig," Lore whispered with a maniacal grin.

"Ooh, good one," Blue said.

Ganon growled.

"I think," Veran said with a glance behind her, "that I speak for all of us when I say, I'm going to enjoy this fight."

* * *

**The actual writing of this chapter was easy and kinda fun.**

**Coming up with the idea was what took so long. **

**Sorry about that... I've been having to get creative with my villain scenarios... There's only so many times I can use 'they randomly ran into each other while searching on Hyrule Field' before it gets ****_really _****old.**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to CryoKing96, morocko, ****ARSLOTHES, ****lazorboy96, Nightwriter18, SleepyTree, Naskara, ZeldaFan2412, .c, Klep, limeemil1, Chiya Neera, Nathen the Protector, and****Tahkaullus01****for favori****ting/following!**

* * *

**Guest: While I appreciate your enthusiasm, I am fairly dedicated to keeping my anonymity anonymous. The basic premise is that if I let people assume my gender, then I won't have all those problems of 'Oh, Changeling's a girl, she can only write angsty guys and romance junk', or 'Oh, Changeling's a guy, he can only write badly spelled overpowered O.C. inserts'. The less I say, the less I have to deal with gender bias. ...As far as telling your friends goes, you could always randomly switch between the two and see how they deal with it ;)**

**Guest #2: I got my ocarina from STL Ocarinas, which I'm pretty sure is an exclusively online store. But their quality is ridiculously good to the point where they've got imitators and had to make comparison videos to show their customers how much better their products are. I feel they're a pretty good place to buy from. Mine certainly sounds good.**

**Latimeira: I actually looked at that, but the Wind Waker can only warp you to places you've already been. Wind's never been to any of these places before, so he can't use it. That being said, if he ever wanted to visit the Twilight Realm again he could get there no problem, as long as he was in Dusk's Hyrule first. Or, at least in the same timeline.**


	47. Chapter 46

**(…So I gave the Universe the month off, for real this time. This chapter took so long to write that it started charging payment to keep it on notice. I happen to be slightly broke, so I can't afford that.**

**Anyways, I don't own the Legend of Zelda. You should all be grateful, because my head can be ****_weird_ sometimes and I would probably take the franchise in a very strange direction.**

**…Now read the chapter and please, PLEASE think it was worth the wait or I'm going to be very depressed.)**

* * *

Right away, the Links could tell that this fight was going to be a bit different.

Previous villains who had turned up at the same time, such as Ganondorf and Bellum or Ganon and Vaati, had for the most part ignored one another and launched their own, individual assaults that the Heroes had to split up to deal with.

These particular villains seemed to have no such notions.

As a result, a rather large number of things happened in rapid succession. Firstly, Veran spontaneously turned into a demonic-looking fairy (although still hylian-sized) with green hair and a pair of rather pointed fangs. Secondly, she promptly created four Links who looked like they were... made of... shadows...

Thirdly, Shadow, who until this point had been affecting an air of disinterest, suddenly became very attentive. In an extremely murderous fashion.

Fourthly, Onox whipped his ball-and-chain up over his head and slammed it to the ground in almost the same movement, causing the Links to stumble as a localized earthquake resulted.

Fifthly, Veran followed up on the disorientation by shooting spheres of dark magic from her palms, which unfortunately for the Links were all direct hits. Lore in particular was especially targeted, which when one thought about it, wasn't all that surprising.

It still hurt though.

Sixthly, Ganon planted his trident in the ground, spawned a multitude of fireballs – but instead of shooting automatically, they then turned into Keese that were made of pure fire.

Seventhly ("Are we sure that's even a word?" Blue asked. He was promptly smacked), the Links all decided that this was an excellent time to panic. And immediately did so.

All of this happened in the span of about five seconds.

"WHEN DID THESE PEOPLE GET COMPETENT?!" Sketch screamed, caught thoroughly off guard by the literally-on-fire Keese, magic projectiles, localized earthquake, duplicate Links, and general coordination of the villains.

Onox chose that moment to cause another of said quakes, so nobody got the chance to answer. Especially as Veran sent in her DupliLinks almost simultaneously and dealt a concerning number of sword-related injuries.

"Regroup!" Gen yelled. "We need a plan! We _really_ need a plan!"

"As if we'd let you have the time," Veran hissed, and launched another round of dark magic, which collided with the Four, Steam, and Realm.

"Then we'll make time," Gen growled. "LORE! BLAST YOUR HARP!"

"Can do!" Lore declared, snatching the Harp of Ages from his bag and slashing his hand across the strings. A pocket of deadtime immediately ballooned out from the ginger Hero and froze everything within a fifty foot radius.

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief and promptly collapsed due to multiple lacerations, bruises, contusions, magical side effects, and shock. Gen immediately got to work handing out potions.

"Okay, what just happened?" Dusk demanded. "That was planned. Don't even _try_ to tell me that wasn't planned. They've been preparing and they have a _system_. How do they have a system?!"

He paused, listened, then added, "Midna thinks we're all doomed, to put it nicely."

"Tell her I said thanks for the support," Wind muttered.

"We need a plan," Gen said again in between potions. "And while normally we would default on the Link who's fought them before, I don't think Lore has any experience in this regard. Do you?"

"I don't even think they'd met when I fought them the first time," Lore replied, cradling the Harp in his left arm. "This is a new one on me."

"That's what I thought," Gen sighed. "Alright. Vio, you're the main strategist. Whatcha got?"

Vio frowned thoughtfully. "Well... first, Lore, what are their attack capabilities?"

"Onox mainly fights with his ball-and-chain," Lore started. "Getting hit is a bad idea, trust me on that. You'd think that would make him a bit one-dimensional, but he's found a surprising number of uses for that thing."

"Like making small earthquakes," Speck said ruefully.

"Actually, that's a new one on me too," Lore replied. "If you make him angry enough, he'll abandon his weapon, turn into a dragon, and do his level best to incinerate and eat you alive."

"He does WHAT?!"

"Haven't I mentioned this before?" Lore frowned. "Well... he does. Veran, on the other hand, she's more magic based. She won't attack you physically if she can help it, but before that she won't attack you herself unless she has to. We've already gotten to that bit, so... yeah, moving on. If you make _her_ angry enough, she will transform and swap between a giant beetle, wasp, and spider depending on exactly how angry you've made her and which one she thinks will kill you the most painfully at the moment."

"SHE DOES _WHAT?!"_

"What, I didn't mention this either?" Lore asked, now looking genuinely confused. "My bad... Ganon's a bit less intense, but because he's a Ganon I think we all know what we can expect from him, more or less."

"I dunno, the Keese made of fire are a new thing for me," Green said, eyeing one of said monsters distastefully.

"That's actually his favorite attack," Lore said. "Other than that, he's fond of teleporting and he's good with his trident. He can also shoot magic from his mouth, but he _prefers_ fire."

"I'd prefer magic," Gen complained. "Magic doesn't give third-degree burns that I have to try and fix."

"Shut up and give me the bottle," Ocarina said through gritted teeth and the pain of said third-degree burn.

"Separate, they'd be tricky, but doable," Vio mused. "But working together..."

"We noticed," Blue said dryly.

"Hmph. Dusk, quick question. You've got a ball-and-chain, what can you tell us about using one?"

"They're really heavy," Dusk said.

"...Obviously."

Dusk raised an eyebrow. "Do you really want to go there?"

"Can you just elaborate a bit more?"

The older teen thought for a moment. "You need to be strong to handle one. Really strong. Throwing one of those things around is more effort than all my other weapons combined. So the downside is that it's slow, but the other side of that is if you get hit by the business end, there's not a lot that'll save you."

"And Onox is strong enough that he's removed most of the speed issue already," Vio murmured. "But not all of it, which is why Veran and Ganon are covering for him."

"And Ganon and Onox are covering for Veran when she needs to recharge, and Veran and Onox are covering for Ganon when he creates his made-of-fire Keese," Wind finished. "You're right Dusk, there's no way they didn't plan this."

Suddenly, the deadtime pocket cut out and all the chaos of the battle erupted around them. Lore yelped and blasted out another chord, creating another deadtime zone just in time to avoid getting scorched by a made-of-fire Keese. He prudently moved out of the way and grinned sheepishly.

"Forgot there's a bit of a timer on this thing," he apologized.

"**Please remember it next time...**" the Four said in small voices.

Vio tapped his chin, thinking, then nodded to himself and looked up at the group. "Alright, I've got thirty percent of a plan. Lore, you're the loudest, you're in charge of watching Onox and warning the rest of us to jump his earthquakes."

"Can I taunt him in the meantime?" Lore asked hopefully.

"No," Gen said bluntly.

"Aww..."

"Speck, Ganon has the largest and most available ears for your normal M.O., plus if he's distracted by you then we won't have to deal with those Keese. Let him have it."

Speck swallowed, but did his best to grin. "I'll see what I can do."

"Blue, Red, Green and I can each take a DupliLink-"

**_"_****_NO."_**

The word came from Shadow, who up to this point hadn't said anything. The dark Link was staring straight at the DupliLinks with an unbridled fury that the group hadn't actually seen him reach before. The sheer strength of the emotion was causing Shadow's usually corporeal form to destabilize and warp, creating a mass of writhing black where his body usually was. The only similarities were his two, bright red eyes narrowed into slits.

_"__She thinks she can copy _**_me?_**_"_ Shadow hissed. _"__She thinks she can copy_**_ ME!?"_**

Everyone took a very large step away.

_"__I am going to rip those forgeries into_**_ shreds, _**_and then I am going to_**_ tear those shreds into SPECKS! _****AND THEN I AM GOING TO WIPE THOSE SPECKS FROM EXISTENCE!"**

Shadow turned blazing pupils on the group. **_"And so help me, if anyone gets in my way I will not even bother with stopping."_**

"...duly... noted," Vio said, very meekly. "Um... Shadow's got the DupliLinks, then...?"

Shadow snarled in agreement. Nobody argued.

"...alright, umm..." Vio continued, valiantly getting back on track. "Mask, can you see if Oni would be willing to lend a hand?"

"Sure thing," Mask said, pulling out the Fierce Deity and sticking it on his face. He collapsed a second later.

"Everybody else, if you don't have a designated target then just do what we normally do in this type of situation."

"Run screaming, get hit a lot, and then land an attackt out of sheer luck and coincidence?" Steam clarified.

"Well aren't you optimistic."

"That's how the Majora fight went until Oni showed up."

"Speaking of which," Mask said, suddenly standing back up and stowing the mask in his bag, "Oni says no. Apparently the Majora fight was a special exception, and we need to fight our own battles or else we'll never learn anything. And something about a paint job he's in the middle of?"

"He took my advice!" Lore exclaimed.

The deadtime pocket chose that moment to deactivate again, and the Links spent the next few moments hurriedly dodging lots of projectiles before Lore refreshed it.

"**Stop doing that!**" the Four complained.

"It's not like I get a warning from the blooming thing," Lore shot back.

"Ahem," Vio said dryly. "Any questions?"

"Is it too late to pretend I don't know you people?" Sketch wondered.

He received multiple unamused stares.

"I'm kidding!"

"Not the best time," Dusk said.

"We cannot keep a train of thought to save our lives," Vio moaned, head in his hands. "I give up, that's all I've got. Lore, your turn."

"Break!" Lore declared, snapping his hand across the strings of his Harp.

And with an earsplitting _crash_ of resuming chaos, the Links charged into battle.

* * *

Speck immediately ran off to the sidelines and shrank himself down with his Jar. If there was one thing he'd learned over the course of hanging with his other selves, it was that these battles tended to go overboard. _Way_ overboard. And the last thing he needed was for someone to step on, and subsequently break, his Jar. That would be bad.

So, after hiding said pottery in a _very_ out-of-the-way grass clump, the now inch-high Link sprinted back into the battle and attempted to figure out which pair of shoes belonged to Ganon.

Mainly because he never mentioned it, none of the other Links knew exactly how difficult it actually was to fight at this size. In a group fight, such as this one, it was often difficult to tell whose leg Speck was climbing. Not to mention the hardships of getting a grasp on said leg in the first place, which was then followed by the hardship of making upward progress. In a fight, the legs were one of the body parts that moved the most.

As such, Speck had a surprisingly strong grip for being one of the smaller Links in the group.

Thankfully, he knew what most of the other Links' feet looked like, and Veran was automatically eliminated from the equation due to the fact that she was floating. That left Onox and Ganon, his target, to differentiate between.

It turned out to be quite simple, for once. Onox was wearing armor. Ganon was not.

And so, Speck scrambled up the ankle of the large blue pig and began the laborious process of hiking his way up to the ear.

Maybe one of these days, he'd remember to ask somebody to shoot him an arrow ride.

* * *

The DupliLink was momentarily surprised when a pitch black cloud of... something materialized and glared at it, but recovered quickly. This was just another target to eliminate for the Mistress.

It should have looked a bit closer.

Shadow, eyes full of raging murder, gave the DupliLink a once-over. He did not, not one bit in the slightest, like what he saw.

So he got rid of it.

The DupliLink didn't even get a warning. All it saw was black.

Black, and two points of bloody red.

* * *

"JUMP!" Lore bellowed suddenly, just two seconds before Onox's mace hit the earth with groundbreaking force. Unfortunately for the villain, the quake missed since all the Links were currently in midair.

"That," Blue panted, "was a fantastic idea, Vio. He's so loud that it's impossible to miss his warning."

"That was the plan," Vio replied.

Retrieving his weapon, Onox leveled a glare at the smirking and oh-so-proud-of-himself Lore.

"Your mouth is causing me some measure of annoyance," he rumbled. "Allow me to fix that!"

Lore yelped and stumbled backwards as Onox's swing sent the business end of the ball-and-chain uncomfortably close to his head. "Oi! I like my noggin where it is, and I'd like to keep it that way!" he cried indignantly.

"Forgive me if I disagree," Onox said, and moved in for another swing.

Four seconds later he was slashed in the back by a passing Realm, who was being chased by a made-of-fire Keese and basically just took the opportunity as it flashed by.

* * *

Gen paused for a moment to gape as Realm sprinted past with a flaming Keese flapping furiously after him, which was a mistake as he stopped paying attention to what he was supposed to be doing.

Consequently, he then got hit in the chest by a ball of magic.

"You should pay more attention, _Hero_," Veran sneered, somehow managing to make the title sound derogatory. Gen briefly wondered who would win in a standoff, her or Midna, then decided that nothing good could come of that and stopped thinking.

He refocused on his opponent and lifted his choice of weapon slightly in a nonverbal beckoning. Veran blinked.

"You're serious, then," she said, more as a statement than a question. "And here I thought you might be a challenge. Oh well."

She spun another magic sphere in her palm and launched it at Gen-

Who hit it right back at her.

With his Bug Net.

* * *

Speck paused for breath and looked up to gauge his progress.

Judging by the fabric folds and level of movement, he was somewhere around around Ganon's knee.

He resigned himself to a long trip up.

* * *

Ocarina, back-to-back with his younger-but-older self, shot another arrow at the made-of-fire Keese Ganon kept spawning, which dissapated with a satisfying _sizzle_. Facing the other direction, Mask had equipped his Zora... mask, and was spamming his fin-blades for all he was worth.

There really were an awful lot of Keese.

Realm sprinted by with one of the little beasts on his tail, and managed to catch the attention of all the other Keese currently on the battlefield. This led to the brown-haired Link upgrading from being chased by _one_ literal fire bat, to _all_ the literal fire bats.

"...At least they're in a cluster now," Ocarina said after spending a moment staring, and re-aimed his weapon to start picking off the Keese again.

* * *

The DupliLink had carefully crept up behind its target, which was so far blissfully unaware of the danger. The copy raised its sword-

And was suddenly and violently overwhelmed by a swell of black. Right before it perished, the DupliLink caught a glimpse of two, terrifying red dots.

The only color in the midst of a void.

It was not, in the slightest, comforting.

* * *

The Four, Sketch, and Dusk were all tag-teaming Ganon, who seemed mildly annoyed that none of his made-of-fire Keese were going after them and made up for it by being extra-violent with his trident. Every swing was aimed to take off someone's head.

Naturally, none of the Links were very keen on that, and this resulted in a bit of a battle-dance.

Ganon swung. Dusk dodged. Sketch swung back. Ganon dodged. Ganon made a stab. The Four ducked.

"JUMP!" Lore bellowed from somewhere across the battle, and all the Links promptly did so. Unfortunately, this meant that Sketch was thus not prepared to dodge Ganon's next attack and took a trident to the ribs.

The Four took revenge by quad-stabbing Ganon in the side.

Ganon retaliated by sweeping their legs out from under them and going in for an impaling, only to be blocked by Dusk bringing up his own weapon to meet Ganon's. There was a frozen moment where hero stared at villain, until Dusk gave a sudden push forward and threw Ganon stumbling backwards.

"You alright?" he asked, turning around and helping the Four to their feet.

"**Just a little bruised,**" the Four replied ruefully. "**Thanks for-DODGE!**"

Dusk hit the dirt as the Four sprinted left, and Ganon's trident just missed its intended targets.

Then Sketch came in from the back and slashed Ganon across the spine, and the whole dance started again.

* * *

Wind took one look at Realm, then at the swarm of animate fire chasing him, and promptly abandoned his planned attack run on Veran in favor of the more pressing issue. He yanked the Wind Waker out of his bag and, hastily playing the Song as fast as he could, blasted the air directly at the Keese horde. The sudden gusting caught the creatures completely off guard, and Wind took full advantage of this. It wasn't exactly the kind of attack he'd had in mind, but... well, it was certainly funnier this way.

And so, Wind blew the literally-made-of-fire Keese straight into Veran, where they exploded and created a lot of nasty-looking burns on what had otherwise been a pair of perfectly functional wings.

"YOU _CRETIN!"_ Veran shrieked – and got hit in the face with her own magic projectile, courtesy of Gen, his Bug Net, and the ongoing game of magical tennis that he and Veran had been engaged in for the past few minutes.

"Thanks!" Gen called. Wind waved at him.

"What he said," Realm sighed, slowing down to a jog, then trot, then walk and coming to a standstill next to Wind. "I don't know _why_ they wouldn't leave me alone, but it was kind of annoying."

"Just watching your back like normal," Wind replied. "Now-"

"JUMP!" Lore yelled from somewhere, causing both the Links to abandon what they were doing in favor of avoiding Onox's earthquakes.

"...Maybe we should go give our half-leader a hand?" Realm suggested. "Seems like he might need it."

"Lore or Gen?" Wind asked, frowning. Behind him, Gen smacked another magic ball back to its sender and grinned smugly.

"Gen seems to have this handled, and I think we might just get in the way at this point," Realm elaborated.

"Lore it is," Wind agreed. "I think I saw him running for his life over this way."

"You would know better than me."

* * *

Speck stopped briefly, heaved for air, and looked up.

He still had the entire upper torso to go.

Perhaps, he thought to himself as he reached for another fold in the cloth of Ganon's clothes, it was time to reconsider his battle strategies.

* * *

Red swiped at the DupliLink, then fell back as Blue shot forwards to take his place. The two parried back and forth for a few seconds, then Green tagged out with Blue and took over. The problem was that the DupliLink had (annoyingly) copied their style and thus currently fought exactly how they did. The purpose of switching out was so that the other three could circle around and try to find a weak point.

That was, until a brutally fast wave of sheer black streaked through the fight and swallowed up the DupliLink in one swift movement. There were a few jerking movements from inside the darkness, then the entire form constricted abruptly.

The jerking ceased just as fast.

Slowly, two red slits materialized out of the black and stared at the four Links balefully.

**_"_****_I thought I said the imitators were mine,"_**Shadow's voice hissed from the cloud. **_"Do I need to make my point a little... clearer?"_**

"...Shadow?" Red asked quietly.

"It attacked us first," Green said. "We were only defending ourselves. Nothing more."

"Dude, it's us. Calm down," Blue added.

The red slits stared at them for a brief moment before snapping over to a far corner of the fight, where a dark-colored figure could be seen. Shadow... or rather, the black wave that was currently Shadow, shot off as quickly as he'd come, making a beeline for the last DupliLink.

"...Please tell me I wasn't the only one scared for my life just now," Blue said slowly.

Vio just set a hand on his other self's shoulder, not really having any words at the moment.

* * *

Lore had somehow managed to get his sword entangled in the chain of Onox's weapon, and was currently in a rather serious game of Tug-of-War.

Onox was winning.

"Need any help?" Wind asked, running up with Realm in tow and eyeing the situation.

"That would be brilliant, actually," Lore panted. "If you could grab me and pull, I would greatly appreciate it."

Wind and Realm exchanged glances, shrugged, then awkwardly positioned themselves behind their half-leader with Realm pulling on Lore's midsection and Wind pulling on Realm's.

They then discovered, to their dismay, that Onox was still winning.

* * *

Steam took another swipe at the replenishing fire-Keese horde, then glanced around to see how everyone else was doing. He was met with the somewhat odd sight of Onox, Realm, Wind, and Lore all tugging on the same set of weapons.

Well, he could help with that. But instead of pulling...

Steam sheathed his sword, jogged up to Onox, and knocked on his helmet.

"Excuse me, sir," he said. "I couldn't help but notice that you seem to be fond of maces."

Onox stopped pulling (not that this did anything for the Links on the other side of the chain) and glared at Steam. "Little green one, you had best stop talking before I decide to close your mouth in a less... pleasant way."

Steam paid absolutely no attention to this. "It's just that, well, if we're going to be sharing our preferences then I have something I'd like to say."

Wind suddenly realized where Steam was going with this and prudently pulled the other two out of the way. Luckily, Onox didn't notice.

"I like trains," Steam grinned, and took two steps backwards, right before the Spirit Train barreled out of absolutely nowhere, hit Onox with all the force of a locomotive (which it was) and vanished into an equal amount of nowhere completely disregarding all workings of physics in the process.

"I really love that summons," Steam sighed.

"I was under the impression that you thought it was demeaning," Realm noted.

"Well I did, until I forgot the alternative summoning song and decided, heck with it. It's there, might as well make the most of it."

"And it's hilarious," Lore added, poking the mildly comatose Onox with his foot. This proved to be a mistake as Onox woke up, backhanded Lore into an inconvenient tree, and set about trying to do the same to the other three Links.

Although, if the massive dent in his armor was anything to go by, they'd at least done some damage.

* * *

Blue, Vio, Green and Red looked left. Then right. Then left. Then right again. Then back to the left. Right again. Left again. Back. And forth. And back. And forth. And back. And forth. And back-

"Maybe we should contribute?" Red suggested as the four Links watched the ball of magic get swatted back to Gen _again._

"He looks like he's having fun," Green said, pointing. The topic of conversation, Gen, was most definitely smirking.

"She's not," Blue noted. The Links followed the magic sphere bouncing back to Veran, who looked positively livid and was actually turning red in some places, which was a considerable accomplishment since she was currently green. The sorceress slapped the projectile back at Gen, then sneered and snapped her fingers to spawn a whole host of magic orbs, all of which she sent at the Hero that was taunting her.

"...Now might be a good time to step in," Vio decided, and sprinted into the fray alongside his brothers, swords drawn and ready for the most intense game of tennis they would ever play.

* * *

On Ganon's shoulder, Speck had one hand clutching his side and the other wrapped firmly in the pig's cape. He was so out of breath it was ridiculous.

However long it had taken though, he was at his goal and should probably get a move on. From the glimpses he'd caught while climbing, things were... mediocre at best.

So, Speck drew himself up, unsheathed his sword, braced himself for the inevitable thrashing and stabbed his blade straight into Ganon's inner ear.

Predictably, the villain went nuts and Speck went along for the ride, grimly hanging onto the handle of his sword for dear life.

It would shake loose sooner or later... probably.

* * *

On the normal side of the sizing scale, Ganon abruptly bellowed in pain and scrabbled at his left ear, completely forgoing and forgetting the fight in progress.

"And there's Speck," Sketch grinned, breathing heavily. "Props to the little guy, seriously."

"**We don't thank him enough,**" the Four agreed.

"Shall we take advantage of the distraction he was so kind to provide us with?" Dusk asked with a small smirk.

His compatriots grinned back in response.

Two seconds later, Ganon suddenly had a lot more pain to worry about than just the one in his ear.

* * *

The last DupliLink didn't even have time to notice it had died until it was already too late to notice that sort of thing.

However, this now meant that Shadow was out of targets.

This displeased him.

So, he refocused onto the person who had created the false copies. _No one_ took advantage of his existence.

_No one._

* * *

After much trial, much error, many injuries resulting from said errors, yelling, and a stick, Lore succeeded in distracting Onox long enough that Wind and Steam could swipe his ball-and-chain, give it to Realm, and proceed to run for their lives.

Of course, since this was a battlefield and those types of things were messy, there was only so far they could run before they were met with a debris field, Keese swarm (which was only too happy to join the chase), a rampaging Shadow, or something else along those lines.

"Give me my weapon and I swear on my honor that I will kill you quickly," Onox growled once he had them cornered.

"How about not killing us at all?" Lore suggested blithely. "I like that option a lot better."

"_I_ do not," Onox replied, and lunged with a speed that did not at all match his size. Caught off guard, the Links yelped and scattered – and in the process, Realm dropped the ball-and-chain right on Onox's foot.

The armored man stared at it. Blinked. Then slowly picked it up and glared at the Links, who were now trying to avoid the made-of-fire Keese swarm that had joined earlier.

"That hurt," Onox said conversationally. "You are going to regret that, small green people."

"JUMP!" Lore shrieked, right before Onox's mace hit the ground.

* * *

"This is annoyingly unfair," Blue huffed, and swung. The magic sphere bounced off his blade with a _ting_ and sailed back to Veran.

"Why does she get to be psychic?" Red asked plaintively.

"She's not psychic," Vio explained patiently. He paused, whacked an orb back, and continued, "She's just using her abilities as a sorceress to control multiple projectiles at once. There's an important difference."

"It's infuriating, that's what it is," Gen muttered.

"Can we concentrate here?" Green asked, exasperated. "One wrong move and she knocks us for six. Does anyone besides me think that's worth at least a _bit_ of attention?"

He received some agreeing grumbles and a profuse apology from Red, but after that Veran stepped up her tempo yet again and everyone stopped talking in favor of knocking the magic back.

* * *

He should have expected this to happen sometime, Speck knew. He'd just hoped that none of his targets would have thought of it.

And this was _really _uncomfortable.

Ganon peered down at his prisoner and clenched his hand a bit tighter. Speck grimaced as the pressure on his body increased and tried to squirm a bit in an effort to make room for himself.

He failed miserably.

"...I don't suppose you'd be willing to talk about this?" Speck tried. Unfortunately, his voice, small like the rest of him, was far too quiet for Ganon to hear in the chaos of the surrounding fight.

Speaking of which, that looked like Dusk coming in for another swing.

"Let. Him. Go," Dusk hissed, slashing at his target. Ganon, in an impressive feat of one-handed competence, fended off the attack with his trident and sneered.

"I think not. This tiny Hero has caused me a great deal of trouble and I'm going to make him regret it."

'Trouble' might be a bit of a mild word, Speck thought to himself, seeing as how Ganon's ear was still leaking red. He decided not to mention this though.

"Hurt him and I will make _you_ regret it more," Dusk shot back.

Behind, the Four launched a surprise attack – which worked, as Ganon took four blows to the back – but not enough to make him loosen his grip. If anything, it got tighter.

"Aaaaaooooww, I think my ribs just creaked," Speck wheezed.

Dusk tilted his head, eyes narrowing. Speck had just enough time to remember his friend's canine hearing before Dusk took two, very important steps backwards.

And Ganon was suddenly slammed by the effects of four different Rods at once.

At the same time, Dusk discarded his Master Sword, yanked open the pouch on his neck, and launched himself forwards all in one swift movement, transforming in midair and crashing into Ganon's considerable bulk with a full-blown snarl rolling from his throat.

Taken all at once, Ganon was understandably knocked to the ground, and Speck went flying. One of the _dis_advantages of being tiny, Speck mused. You were liable to getting thrown around a lot.

But then he landed with a soft thump, right in Sketch's hand.

"I'm thinking we should find your jar," Sketch said, stowing away his four Rods with his other hand. "Sound good?"

Speck nodded silently. Then a LOUD snarl drew their attention and the Links looked to see Dusk with his jaws clamped on Ganon's knee. He didn't seem inclined to let go anytime soon, and judging from the way he was whipping his head around his teeth were doing a _lot_ of damage.

There were also the sounds Ganon was making. Those seemed to be a pretty good indicator.

"...Yikes," Speck whispered.

"What?" Sketch said.

Speck rolled his eyes and pointed.

"..Oh, yeah that is kinda messed up," Sketch agreed. "Makes me glad he's on our side."

Speck nodded.

"Remember when we tried to make him leader, and he said he was more of a protective Beta?" Sketch asked.

Speck frowned.

"...Oh, that _was_ before we met you, my bad," Sketch said sheepishly. "Anyways, Dusk said he wasn't any good as a leader. He's more of a follower, but he also said he was extremely protective."

Speck absorbed this and took another look at the fight, where Dusk had switched targets and was now hanging off Ganon's shoulder to the pained yells of the villain.

"...I think you might have triggered it," Sketch said, somewhat obviously. "I read somewhere that wolves are pack-oriented. They're incredibly loyal to their group, and if something threatens it... you'd better start running."

Dusk unknowingly punctuated this statement with a particularly loud snarl.

"In that case," Speck replied, shouting to be heard, "I'm glad to be in his."

"Same," Sketch grinned. "Now, where'd you leave your pottery?"

* * *

"Steam, now would be a good time!" Wind yelled, straining to hold Onox in one-ish place. Of course, it helped that Lore and Realm were also pulling, but even with that Onox was still managing to drag all three of them across the ground towards where Realm had kicked away the ball-and-chain after getting it away _again._

"I'm making sure I'm lined up!" Steam called back.

"_Hurry up!_"

"I'm trying," Steam snarked. "Okay... brace yourselves! I LIKE TRAINS!"

Onox twitched, then redoubled his efforts to move across the battlefield but did so slightly too late. The Spirit Train hit him full force and sent him sliding across the dirt, with an even larger dent in his armor and a gap between his chest and shoulder-plates to boot.

But it still didn't knock him out.

"What... is it.. going to _take... _with this guy?" Wind gasped.

"More than this, apparently," Realm said, enviously not out of breath.

* * *

The Zora fins slashed through the swarm of fire Keese and disemboweled a dozen or so before coming back to Mask, who caught them and fired again in one smooth movement. On his back, Ocarina shot arrow after arrow after arrow into the masses, sometimes catching three at once because the bodies were so packed. The only reason he didn't take out more was because by three Keese, his arrow was a charred cinder and thus disintegrated.

"Do you think we're actually doing anything in this fight?" Mask wondered, catching and sending his fin-blades again.

"We're keeping the Keese distracted," Ocarina replied. "I'm fairly positive the others can concentrate a lot better on what they're doing when they're not being chased by living fire. I know _I_ could."

"Point," Mask conceded, firing again.

* * *

"FINALLY!" Gen crowed as Veran lost track of her projectiles and got smacked with multiple magic orbs at once. "Sweet Hylia, that took _forever. _Why didn't I just smack her to begin with?"

"She flew out of the way," Vio reminded him. "By going very high up."

Whatever Gen was going to say in reply was forgotten, as the indistinct form of an absolutely livid Shadow flashed across the ground and attempted to bodily crush the sorceress.

'Attempted' being the key word, because Shadow only got halfway up her torso before Veran let off a burst of astoundingly bright light, and the dark Link fell off with a howl of pain.

"You... little... _RAT!_" she screeched, and the Links noticed that the parts of her legs where Shadow had been looked distinctly... deformed. As if someone had put a little too much pressure on the bones and the bones had... given way.

Shadow looked like he'd been complimented, although since his body was completely nonexistent at the moment it was hard to tell. But his eye-slits definitely looked smug.

"I can see I'm going to have to take this seriously after all..." Veran mused. "How unfortunate. I really was hoping I wouldn't have to resort to this, but... ah well. Means to an end. Do be dears and wait here while I fetch Onox, he'll just _love _to help me obliterate you."

With that, she blurred and vanished with a slight violet afterimage.

"...*****" Shadow spat.

"SHADOW!" Gen snapped. "We do _NOT_ use those kinds of words!" He paused, considered, then said, "Even though she does sort of deserve it, that's not the point!"

The red eyes shifted, blinked, then glanced away. The Links got the general impression of mild annoyance. Then the eyes moved lower, as though looking down at oneself.

"...I'm going to go pull myself together," Shadow muttered, now sounding _very_ annoyed. "I'll be back in a minute."

He slinked off, muttering about limbs and the infuriating inability to hold a stable form during emotional outbursts. The five Links left exchanged glances, then shrugged and decided it was probably better that they didn't know.

* * *

Dusk, still a wolf and still very, very angry, went in for another strike -

And bit down on thin air as something purple flashed through the fight and took Ganon with it.

...It smelled like Veran, actually. Great.

Dusk huffed, then padded off to search for wherever he'd thrown his sword. In the moment, he hadn't exactly thought about changing back. He'd just been quite intent that Ganon should let go of Speck.

...In hindsight, that hadn't been his best decision.

_'Oh, I don't know about that,'_ Midna's voice sounded in his head. _'I know _I _certainly enjoyed it.'_

_'That's because you're overly violent yourself,'_ Dusk told her. Midna let off her trademark high-pitched giggle.

_'Aww, the little wolf noticed. Does this mean you like me after all?'_

Dusk decided he didn't want to answer that, and resumed his search while trying to ignore the laughter in his ears.

Right then, however, Speck – normal sized, Steam, and the Four walked up, and Speck was carrying an extra sword in his hands.

"Are you looking for this?" he asked in his usual quiet voice. "We found it in the grass over there, and it seemed like something you'd be needing again. I'm guessing you didn't really plan for the aftermath, huh."

Dusk rumbled noncommittally. _"__...At the moment, some other things were taking precedence."_

"That's understandable," Speck agreed. "Here you go."

He set the Master Sword on the ground, letting Dusk put his paw on it at a normal angle for once, and watched as the wolf changed back into the green-clothed teenager they knew so well.

"Thanks," Dusk said, strapping his sword to his back where it belonged.

"Least I can do," Speck smiled.

"**Is it just us, or is this getting unbearably sappy?**" the Four said

"Tell me about it," Sketch muttered.

"...Yeah, this is kinda awkward," Dusk agreed. "Wanna go figure out where Ganon went and beat him up some more?"

"Yes please," Speck said thankfully.

* * *

"Boost me," Lore said, right before he hit the dirt as the ball-and-chain sailed over his head.

"You sure that's the best idea?" Wind asked.

"Can you think of a better way to reach his shoulders?" Lore asked, gesturing towards Onox's considerable bulk and four extra feet of height. It didn't help that the Links, as a group, were... vertically challenged.

In other words, they were built stocky, not lanky.

"I'll pick you up," Realm said and promptly did so, once again making the rest of the group annoyed and mildly jealous of just how much stamina he actually had. He then braced himself and _threw_ Lore up to Onox's height with an actual grunt of effort.

Lore, meanwhile, latched onto the gap in Onox's armor and began happily stabbing away at the skin underneath. Onox did not appreciate this, gripping Lore by his tunic and slowly prying the ginger teen off his body, wincing every now and then as Lore hit a particularly bad spot or the Links down on the ground, who were doing their level best to help, managed to hit hard enough to bruise.

It was this circumstance that Veran found him as she blurred into existence with a limping Ganon in tow.

"Having issues?" Veran asked, somehow managing to make that one sentence sound demeaning.

"They are like ants," Onox rumbled. "They are small and hard to kill and they have a surprisingly painful bite."

"Then treat them like ants and squish them," Veran said dismissively. Lore threw his shoe at her, but regrettably missed.

"They do not squish so easily," Onox replied, slowly. "Not that I have not been trying. Besides, who are you to lecture me when it looks like you have been bitten yourself?" He eyed Veran's legs, which had just come off the wrong end of Shadow's fury.

Veran just sneered at him. "I came to tell you to upgrade to Phase Two. They're putting up more of a fight than I thought they would, and I think there'll be more screaming this way anyhow."

"...As you say," Onox growled.

"By any chance," Lore said, still clinging to Onox's armor, "am I going to like Phase Two, or should I consider loosening my grip?"

"If I were you, green boy," Onox told him, "I would pray to whatever deity I followed for a quick and relatively painless death."

"Riiiiight," Lore said, winked, and then dropped off the villain like a rock and scurried over to where he had thrown his shoe.

"I'm gonna need this for the running," he explained to a not-interested-in-the-slightest Veran.

She sneered at him.

And then she and Onox exploded.

* * *

The rest of the Links were regrouping when the concussive blast hit and knocked everyone to the ground. It also effectively deafened everybody but Shadow, who didn't have any actual ears to hear with in the first place.

"The heck was that!?" Mask shouted both loudly and off-key, not that anyone could hear him.

"WHAT!?" Gen yelled.

"What?" Speck said.

Dusk raised a quizzical eyebrow and motioned to his ears in a 'I can't hear you' gesture.

"Did somebody say something?" Blue wondered.

"What?" Red asked.

"What?" Blue replied.

"This is ridiculous," Shadow muttered.

"...**What?**" the Four questioned.

* * *

"...All in favor of running for our lives?" Steam said in a small voice as he stared up at the creatures formerly known as Veran and Onox.

"WHAT!?" Lore yelled.

"What?" Steam said back.

"WE SHOULD START RUNNING!" Lore bellowed in an effort to make himself heard past the ringing in everyone's ears.

"What?" Wind asked.

Then, one of the towering shapes lifted up a foot and aimed it at the four Links on the ground. Realm took one look at the incoming appendage, grabbed the other three by their wrists, and took off sprinting as fast as he could.

* * *

"Can you hear me _now_?" Shadow said slowly, and with great effort to keep his temper. Gen frowned a bit.

"...Yes," he decided carefully. "How's everyone else doing?"

"What?" Ocarina said.

"Er... he was closest to the blast, he should be fine in about thirty more seconds," Mask replied for his older-but-younger self.

"Finally," Shadow growled. "That was getting-"

He was abruptly bowled over by a ballistic Realm and his tagalongs.

"WHAT WAS THAT FOR!" Shadow roared from underneath the pile.

"We've got a problem!" Wind snapped back. This made everyone pause, since Wind, as one of the more mellow Links, hardly ever raised his voice.

"How big of a problem are we talking?" Dusk asked.

Lore pulled himself to his feet and looked over his shoulder. "I'd say... twenty feet or so on the beetle, a _whole_ lot more on the dragon. The pig is still only seven feet, so we're good on at least that account. Although he _is_ on top of the dragon, so... pretty big."

Someone let out a _meep_ noise.

"Alright, show of hands," Vio said. "Who here has experience fighting dragons?"

Mask, Ocarina, Dusk, Realm, Lore, and Wind all raised their hands.

"Great, you can fight this one too," Gen ordered. "And... the Four can join you, that'll make it more even and you need someone to handle Ganon while the rest deal with Onox. The dragon _is_ Onox, right?"

"Yep," Lore said.

"Which puts the rest of us on Veran," Green finished.

"...This is gonna _hurt_," Sketch decided.

* * *

Sketch's declaration was immediately verified when Onox, now called a Dark Dragon according to Lore, opened his mouth and launched a blistering onslaught of white-blue fire, catching everyone off guard and dealing out multiple _fourth_ degree burns in the process.

At the same time, Beetle-Veran pushed up into the air, came down with an earthshaking impact, and spawned a pool of violently purple acid which proceeded to give the Links chemical burns to go along with their heat ones.

And Ganon... well, Ganon stood on the Dark Dragon's shoulder and leered in an attempt to look menacing. Let's face it, he can't really compete with a giant insect and a flying, fire-breathing reptile.

"REGROUP! AGAIN!" Gen yelled through the pain of the burns and the noise of the attacks.

"Yeah, small problem," Lore replied. "I can't feel my hands."

Considering that his hands were a color that no skin should ever turn, this was a sufficiently concerning statement.

"Mask, Ocarina?" Gen asked.

Onox roared and slammed his hand down in an attempt to crush them, and everybody paused to throw themselves out of the way.

"I've got it," Ocarina said, as he had the lesser number of injuries and none of them were on the necessary appendages needed to play the... ocarina.

One very hurried and somewhat sloppy rendition of the Song of Time later, the Links were slumped on the ground and rapidly drinking their way through Gen's Potion supply.

"I have come to the conclusion that I _really_ hate when the villains plan ahead," Realm said in between swallows. "If we didn't have people who can mess with time, we would be dead."

"That's why we say 'Thank you' to the people who mess with the time," Lore told him.

"**Guys? Plan?**" the Four prompted. Gen handed them an armful of Potion Bottles.

"We need weak points," Vio said. "Lore, what can you tell us?"

"See the big red shiny thing on Onox's head?" Lore said, pointing up... and up, and up. "That's where we need to hit him."

"...This is gonna be another Hookshot battle, isn't it," Dusk said, resigned.

"Veran's weakness is her face," Lore continued. "Good luck with that."

"Easier than the head-gem," Steam retorted, and took another mouthful of Potion.

"Dude, the face is _everything_ when it comes to women," Lore said, "particularly with women like her. You mess with the makeup, that's when it gets personal."

"You're so doomed," Mask snickered.

"Shut up, it's not like your chances are any better."

"Bit less intimidating though," Lore put in. "Trust me, there is nothing scarier than a girl out for revenge. They hold grudges like you would not _believe._"

"We are _so _off topic," Wind noted.

"Any advice on dodging?" Vio said in an attempt to get the conversation back to the importance of the current events.

Lore thought about that for a moment.

"...Don't get hit," he said at length.

"Thank you," Blue said dryly.

"Does anyone else need Potion?" Gen checked, reclaiming the now-empty Bottles from around the group.

"I think we're good," Dusk answered. "Ready for Round Two?"

"Absolutely," Shadow said darkly, glaring at Beetle-Veran with an eager expression. He still wanted revenge for the DupliLink clones and didn't feel like he'd expressed his feelings on the subject _nearly_ enough.

"Ocarina, you can stop now," Mask told his counterpart. The older-but-younger Link, who up to now had been playing the Song of Time nonstop, broke off and heaved in a gasp of air. Gen handed him a Potion.

And the chaos restarted.

* * *

Onox kicked off the fight by raking his massive hand across the ground, causing everyone to throw themselves out of the way to avoid being gutted. He had some singularly unfair claws.

On the bright side, the fact that he _was_ covered in scales made him an excellent Clawshot target.

And Dusk promptly made use of it.

The Hero of Twilight aimed, shot, and ascended all in a few swift seconds, and from the scale his item had latched onto, climbed up the Dark Dragon's head until he reached the top. There, Dusk did two things.

One, was to jab his sword into the jewel in Onox's forehead. The other was keeping Ganon occupied.

"Ganon is going to make it hard to hit Onox's jewel," Lore had said. "Somebody needs to keep the big pig busy while the rest of us go for the main target. Any takers?"

Dusk had volunteered, because he still had a point to make to the villain about... certain things.

"I would think you'd be aiming for the bigger target," Ganon said idly, swinging his trident in a circle at his side. "Compared to the dragon, I believe I am a bit... undersized."

Dusk glared at him. "That's true, but someone needs to keep you occupied while the rest take down said bigger target. Plus... I've still got an issue with you."

"Is that so?" Ganon asked, feigning disinterest. Given the fact that he still looked particularly beaten up from his last run in with the Hero of Twilight, the effect was somewhat ruined.

"It is," Dusk said darkly. "See, in my group of me, we've all got these... unspoken roles. Gen's the medic, Vio's the strategist, Wind has the level head... so on and so forth."

"Is there a point to this?" Ganon growled.

"I'm getting to that," Dusk replied, smiling thinly. "_My_ role in the group is... sometimes complicated. I like to think I act as the anchor, but all things considered that's probably Red's job. Or maybe Speck's. But one thing I _know_ is part of my contribution is my instincts."

His smile broadened until he was showing all his teeth. It was not a nice smile.

"Due to some interesting events, I have a bit of a canine mindset. And one thing about canines is that we move in packs. You see those guys down there?" Dusk asked, pointing down. "That's my pack. And you, buddy, you nearly killed one of them."

The smile turned into a full-blown snarl. "_And I am not going to let you get away with that._"

So saying, Dusk yanked his sword out of its sheath and slashed Ganon from shoulder to hip with a Mortal Draw.

Unfortunately, since Ganon was a boss and was thus unfairly overpowered, it didn't take him out. It did, however, do wonders for relieving Dusk's pent-up agression.

And a good bit of damage. There was also that.

* * *

Meanwhile, the Links who didn't have some form of Hookshot had been lent one by the Links who did and were all attempting to get a good angle on Onox. No one could quite figure out how Dusk had managed to find a stable target on his first shot, as the Dark Dragon was now moving so much that the Hookshots were dislodged almost immediately.

"This isn't working," Wind said – then ducked as a blast of fire went over his head.

"**Does anyone have a better idea?**" the Four asked plaintively.

"We could always try to climb his hands," Lore said. "That's mostly how I got up the last time... although he did tend to try and smash me a lot when I did that. Who here has good grip?"

Ocarina discreetly pushed Realm forward.

"Excellent, thank you for volunteering," Lore declared. "Please keep your hands and arms inside the perimeter of the hand at all times and make sure your safety harness is properly buckled. Thank you for choosing the Dark Dragon: Ride On."

"...What?" Realm asked, bewildered. Any forthcoming answer was cut off when Onox's gargantuan hand _slammed_ down into the earth and very nearly flattened them.

"That's your cue!" Lore yelled, grabbing Realm's shoulders and giving him a shove. "Go go go!"

Realm stumbled, then caught his balance and sprinted towards the scaly palm with all the speed he could muster, then scrambled up onto the back of the hand and wrapped his hands around one of the protruding knuckle-spikes. Onox glanced down at him, then slowly lifted up the hand and glared at Realm.

Who stabbed him in the forehead.

Unfortunately, Onox took offense to that and _threw_ Realm all the way across the battlefield, where he landed with a _thud_ right on top of Beetle-Veran's shell.

And, unfortunately, she took offense to _that _by transforming into a giant bee and stinging Realm in the leg as he fell off her back.

"...Oh...kay..." Lore said slowly. "Let's... let's just scrap that idea for now."

Everyone nodded vehemently – then ducked as Onox tried to blast them with yet more fire.

* * *

Attacking Beetle-Veran had been going about as well as one would think when the only weakness was the face and the opponent was protecting said face for all she was worth. The immense pools of poison hadn't helped much either.

But when Realm suddenly crash-landed on Beetle-Veran's back, things went from bad to worse.

"Oh, _DIN,_" Gen swore. "That did _not_ look good. I need to make sure he's alright..."

"Hurry," Red pleaded. "He got hit really hard, and-" His voice failed him.

"Hey, hey, it'll be fine," Green soothed. "Nothing a Health Potion can't fix." _I hope_, he added silently.

"Cover for me!" Gen called as he sprinted away and screeched to a halt next to Realm's unconscious body, then snatched multiple bottles of Soup and Potion from his bag and began trying to get the brunet Link to wake up. "Come on man, you can't swallow if you're not lucid," Gen growled. "I am _not_ losing anyone today, you hear me?"

Realm let out an incoherent groan and opened his eyes blearily.

"...Ow," he said, then drew in a sharp breath through gritted teeth as his hand grabbed at his leg.

"Are you allergic to bees?" Gen said quickly as he popped the cork off a bottle of Soup.

"Not that I'm aware of," Realm managed. "Am I on fire? This feels a _whole_ lot like firaaaaaoooow!"

"Sorry!"

"Why did you poke it!?"

"It was an investigatory examination!"

Realm squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth in an effort not to yell in pain. Gen bit his lip. "This... this is probably gonna take more than one Potion," he admitted.

"While you're on that," Realm managed, "I think something in my chest gave out when I landed, because there's this sharp thing every time I breathe in and it _really_ hurts..." His sentence faded into a low keening as he took another breath.

"Stop talking then," Gen snapped – not because he was angry, because worry made him a bit touchy. "Just – just take small sips, alright? I really wish I'd brought a fairy from Lore's pine tree extravaganza..."

"S'fine, really," Realm said weakly. "I mean, I can still swallow."

There was an earthshaking _boom_ as Onox did something highly destructive, and a wave of concussive force blew over the two Links.

"We need to move you," Gen decided. "Come on – up you get."

With one arm draped around Gen's shoulders and the other holding his ribcage, Realm hopped his way slowly out of the firing range and lowered himself as gingerly as he could manage before gulping hurriedly at the Potion bottle. Injured was not a good thing to be in the middle of a fight like this.

Plus, he knew from experience that his half-leader wasn't going anywhere until he was sure Realm was alright. So, the sooner he drank the Potions the better.

Now if only they didn't taste so _weird_.

* * *

Back at the fight with Bee-Veran, the Links had quickly discovered that she was _far_ faster like this than when she'd been a Beetle. She quite literally _blurred_ when she moved, and the group was hard-pressed to avoid being stung like Realm had been.

Also, she was a GIANT BEE. Her stinger alone was the length of a forearm.

And the fact that she could shoot them at people in rapid machine-gun style didn't help either.

Basically, it was inevitable that _somebody_ was going to get stung. Veran just had the unfortunate luck of hitting Shadow.

The stinger, which had been one of many, many others, had caught Shadow off guard as he was blocking one of said other stingers and gone straight through his stomach. Well, what would be his stomach if he weren't made of... whatever it was he was made of.

Shadow slowly looked down at the stinger protruding from his abdomen and tilted his head, then reached down and carefully pulled it out. It left a hole which Steam, standing behind him, discovered he could see straight through, and as the edges of the wound began to knit themselves together Shadow leveled his angriest glare at Veran.

"You realize I'm going to have to kill you now," he said conversationally.

"Shadow, we talked about this, you can't murder people on a whim," Green admonished.

"But she stabbed me! In the _middle_!" Shadow protested. "I promise I'd do it quickly and... well, mostly cleanly..."

"No," Green said firmly. "You already got to kill your copies, remember? That's enough for today."

"...Can I at least maim her?" Shadow asked hopefully.

Green stared at him with a 'Why me?' look on his face. Behind them, Veran launched another barrage of stingers, then blurred into motion and knocked Sketch bodily into a rock some twenty feet away.

"...Just try to make sure she's still recognizable," Green allowed.

Shadow smiled with all his fangs showing and melted into a puddle of black, which then snaked over the ground and made a... beeline... for Veran.

"Okay,_ that_ pun is just _bad_," Blue said, shaking his head at... something. "I mean, really? A beeline for Bee-Veran? What is this, Make A Bad Pun Day?"

"Blue, that's a bad idea," Red warned, tugging on his brother's sleeve.

Blue blinked. "Oh yeah... My ba-"

Whatever he was going to say was cut off as Shadow shot by and clocked him soundly on the head.

"Mind the walls, idiot," his voice sighed in irritation before the black puddle took off again.

"Thanks!" Red called after him – then yelped and ducked as Veran shot over his head with her stinger aimed to fire.

"What just hit me?" Blue asked hazily.

"Karma," Red replied. "Now get up, Veran's gonna sting us!"

Blue was suddenly very motivated.

* * *

It was a testament to the general strangeness of the experiences that the Links went through that they barely spared a glance when Ganon, for no apparent reason anyone could see, slammed bodily into the ground and vanished in a materialization of void.

"Don't see that every day," Mask remarked, crouched under his shield as Onox blew a seemingly unending blast of fire at him.

"I guess Dusk finished the job," Ocarina agreed.

"Speaking of Dusk," Wind said, watching as a green-clothed figure vaulted off Onox's head, twisted in midair, and landed on the Dragon's arm before sprinting down the limb.

"Dude can parkour," Lore said approvingly.

"I can what now?" Dusk asked as his feet hit the ground.

"Never you mind," Lore said, flapping a hand. "We noticed you took out Ganon."

Dusk flashed a grin and tugged on his bangs. "He and I had some... issues to work out. But we're all good now."

"DUCK!" Mask screeched, and everyone hit the floor as Onox raked his hand across the ground, just barely missing their heads.

"So what's the plan for this guy? I thought you were hookshotting up," Dusk said.

"Well, we tried that, but then Realm got thrown clear across the field and we decided that getting in range of his hands was a bad idea," Ocarina said.

Immediately, the grin dropped of Dusk's face. "How bad was he hurt?" he asked.

"**We saw Gen go to help, but he hasn't come back yet so... we don't know,**" the Four replied quietly.

Dusk let out a heavy breath. "Okay. If Gen's on it, he'll probably be fine. ...That doesn't mean I'm not still furious about it," he added.

"Shall we take some revenge for our fallen friend?" Lore asked, slinging an arm across the Hero of Twilight's shoulder.

"Let's do it."

However, revenge was going to have to be put on hold as Onox decided the Links hadn't had _nearly_ enough fire blown at them yet and decided to rectify that situation.

* * *

"You're not going until I say so," Gen said flatly.

"I'm _fine_," Realm argued. The Potions had healed whatever was sharp in his chest, and the sting on his leg _looked_ better...

...But his argument would have been a lot more convincing if Realm hadn't been balancing all his weight on his good leg.

"If you can't run, you can't fight," Gen replied. "And I don't care how much stamina you've got, you can't run on one leg."

"It doesn't hurt," Realm insisted. "It's just... kinda numb... and stiff..."

"And you're not going," Gen repeated. "Not until you drink this." He held out yet another bottle of Red Potion.

"I'm running out of stomach room!" Realm protested.

He was met with a dry stare and a proffered bottle, along with the realization that Gen wasn't going to take 'No' for an answer.

* * *

Shadow, after much trial and error and more than a fair share of misses, had succeeded in latching onto Bee-Veran and was using his malleable form to gum up her wings and in the process severely limit her speed capabilities. This was a very good thing for any number of reasons.

On the other hand, though, it succeeded in making her _very_ angry.

"SHADOW I'M GOING TO STRANGLE YOU!" Sketch bellowed as he fended off Veran's stinger with a very hasty shield block.

"Don't actually have lungs~" Shadow called back smugly.

"I CAN STILL TRY!"

"Why do Shadow's battle strategies always end with us running for our lives?" Vio asked tiredly.

"I have a sneaking suspicion he enjoys watching us panic," Blue grumbled.

"I get enough stress already without him adding to it," Speck complained quietly.

Veran scuttled by making a hissing noise and spamming stingers for all she was worth, and everybody ducked to avoid being impaled.

"You want to do something about that?" Shadow called from his position on the wings.

"We're working on it!" Green yelled back. "Okay. Red, Steam, Sketch, you guys keep her occupied. Blue and Vio, you're with me. We're gonna stab her face."

"What about me?" Speck asked.

"How do you feel about giving Shadow a hand?"

"...Queasy," Speck decided, watching Veran jerk another round of stingers into action. Everybody prudently sprinted twelve feet to the left to avoid the latest barrage.

"Look, we all know Shadow's a bit violent, but-"

"No, it's not Shadow," Speck interrupted. "I'm fine with Shadow. It's because all her movement is going to get multiplied when I shrink and I can already tell it's going to be a rough ride."

"Oh. Well, never mind then," Green corrected. "Let's get to it!"

* * *

"Sweet Me," Din commented. "And here I thought they couldn't possibly get any more destructive."

"Wishful thinking," Farore agreed. Then she turned to her other sister and asked, "How's your Attribute doing?"

Nayru looked up from where she was watching the native Princess Zelda – still thoroughly bound, gagged, and unconscious.

"Wisdom should be alright once she wakes up," Nayru frowned. "But I'm going to have a word with Courage once he's done here. Starting the fight with Wisdom within blast range was completely irresponsible!"

"Come off it, we got her out of the way in time," Din argued. "Everything worked out."

"We are _this close_ to breaking the Interference Laws," Nayru hissed. "The only reason we haven't yet is because Wisdom is connected to me and therefore has loopholes!"

"I know that," Din said, annoyed. "What I'm saying is that because she _does_ have loopholes, there's no real problem."

"The problem is that we had to move her in the first place," Nayru muttered.

"Girls," Farore interrupted. "What's done is done and there's nothing we can do about that – and don't say Time Powers, Nayru!"

Nayru closed her mouth, looking mutinous.

"My point is," Farore continued, "Courage is doing his job, and that's all we asked of him. Now if we could have some shush, Onox is breathing fire again and I've brought the popcorn."

"What flavor did you get?" Din asked.

"Peanut-butter and Chocolate," Farore replied, holding out the bag and grinning.

* * *

"Gen, enough!" Realm snapped – rather uncharacteristically. "We're needed in the fights! You can finish patching me up afterwards, but if you don't stop fussing then the group is going to get their butts kicked without us."

Gen gave a weak glare and stowed the proffered bottle back in his bag. "It's half my job to worry, okay? Actually," he amended, "it's _all_ my job to worry. Medic, remember?"

He paused. "Although, I should probably get some more medical information stowed away other than, 'This bit hurts, drink this liquid to get better'."

"You can do that later," Realm said. "Right now, you need to help fight a Bee and I need to get back to helping fight a Dragon. Now can you _please _let me go?"

"I want you _right_ back here immediately afterwards," Gen said sternly.

"Me and all the other guys who got hit," Realm replied, flashing a smile. "Good luck."

With that, he sprinted off – albeit with a slight limp.

"Going to be the death of me, I swear," Gen grumbled. He turned, paused, and stared as Bee-Veran scurried across the ground chasing Red, Sketch, and Steam, trailing Speck from a rope somehow tied to her abdomen, and being hastily pursued by Green, Vio, and Blue.

"...That's new," Gen decided, and took off running.

* * *

Realm skidded to a stop just as Onox's scaled hand _slammed_ down onto the earth not two feet in front of him, pinwheeled his arms, and fell over backwards as he cancelled a bit too much of his momentum.

"Realm!" Lore said in a voice of pleasant surprise. The Link himself shot into view a half-second later with the tip of his hat mildly on fire. "Brilliant, you're not dead. I was going to be _really_ annoyed if you were dead."

"Gen fixed me up," Realm said, getting to his feet, but putting most of his weight on only one leg. Lore eyed it skeptically.

"...Mostly," Realm amended. "I got stung by a giant bee, if you'll remember. That thing _hurt_. Be glad I _am_ standing."

""Oh, you're Mr. Stamina, I'd be surprised if you weren't," Lore replied. "Now, ready to stab a dragon?"

"I'm staying on the ground this time," Realm said wryly.

"No arguments there."

"Realm, you're back!" Wind exclaimed as he ran past. He circled around and said, rapid fire, "Normally I'd be happy but I'm currently being chased by a very angry dragon and I don't have time to stop!"

"What'd you do!?" Realm yelled after him.

"I hit him in the head with a hammer!" Wind's reply drifted back. "He didn't like it!"

Onox punctuated this statement quite nicely by swooping down from the air above and making an attack run that nearly took Wind's head off and flattened everyone else by sheer proximity.

"And I was so hoping I was done with angry dragons trying to eat me," Realm sighed. "Here goes nothing." He broke into a jog and ran after the Dark Dragon as fast as he could manage with a somewhat bum leg, followed closely by Lore and the rest of the Links who up to this point had been trying futilely to take Onox's attention off Wind.

They were all extremely happy to see Realm alive, of course, but there was a lot of fire and explosions happening and it was generally acknowledged that this was probably not the best time to have a reunion.

* * *

"Gen!" Sketch gasped. "Perfect timing man. How's Realm?"

"He'll live until I can get a better look at him," Gen said. "How's things?"

He received a flat glare and a sharp jerk to bring him to ground level as a barrage of stingers went over their heads.

"Ah," Gen replied. "Well then, let's see what this does."

So saying, he pulled out his Hookshot, aimed, fired, and latched onto one of Veran's legs. This, combined with Shadow and Speck still gunking up her wings, brought her to a screeching halt.

Veran did not take kindly to that.

"Stab her now," Gen wheezed, bracing his full weight against the giant Bee and getting pulled along anyways. His heels, which were dug into the ground, were leaving inch-deep furrows.

"GUYS! NOW!" Green bellowed. He, along with his three siblings, Sketch, and Steam, all ran around to Veran's head – which honestly looked quite odd, it was a woman's face on a giant bug – and began doing as much damage as they could within the limited timeframe they had.

Unfortunately, this only seemed to make Veran angrier as she proceeded to transform into a giant Spider instead and promptly covered them all in webs.

* * *

"How-much health-does this guy-_have?_" Ocarina panted.

"No idea," Mask wheezed.

"We've got to have done _some_ damage by now," Dusk surmised, staring up at the Dragon. In reply, Onox blasted yet more fire at them.

Everybody took a moment to dodge.

"**So to recap, we can't Hookshot up because he shakes them off, we can't run up because he'll smash us, and unless he comes down to us which in itself is extremely unlikely, we can't reach his head jewel**," the Four said. "**We miss anything?**"

"That about sums it up," Wind agreed.

"So then we'll make him come to us," Dusk said.

"Er... how?" Realm asked.

Dusk smiled, then pointed at Lore. "Time to do your thing."

Lore started smirking. It was a very concerning smirk.

* * *

"Oi! Mr. Lizard!"

Onox blasted a fireball in response, causing Lore to hastily duck.

"That is _not_ a nice way to say hello," Lore scolded, drawing himself back to his full height. Which wasn't all that much, but it was the thought that counted. "Is that how your mother taught you? She would be ashamed to see you now! Look at you! Cooking your dinner and you don't ever have the table set!"

He took a searching look around the scorched, smoking, and generally completely destroyed battlefield and said, "Actually, you don't even have a table! Didn't your mother teach you manners!?"

Onox roared, which caused the ground to shake slightly for the umpteenth time that day.

"Don't you give me that," Lore retorted. "You are a full-grown Dragon, you should know better than this! No table, no plates, you don't even have the proper silverware. How do you expect to eat us without utensils? Don't you _dare_ tell me you're going to eat with your hands, Mister, _oh_ no! We are civilized here in the country of Hyrule, and you're going to abide by the local customs."

Onox's roar subsided into a growl which sounded ever so slightly confused.

"And have you even _washed_ your hands!?" Lore agonized. "Look at your claws, they're _filthy! _Do NOT try to tell me you plan on eating us with that kind of dirt between your scales. I am _very _disappointed in you, and I will have you know – DON'T YOU DARE FLY AWAY FROM ME!"

The Dark Dragon, in all his death-causing and terror-striking glory, actually flinched at this.

"I AM YOUR MOTHER AND YOU WILL LISTEN WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!" Lore bellowed. "I WILL _NOT_ STAND FOR THIS! YOU GET YOURSELF DOWN HERE _RIGHT NOW, YOUNG MAN!"_

Needless to say, Lore wasn't actually Onox's mother. But the creative juices of the Distractive Tactics were flowing and the redhead was rolling with it. He glared up at Onox, hands on his hips and tapping one foot impatiently.

"Well?" he snapped. "I'm waiting."

To the great surprise of everybody, Lore included, Onox slowly drifted down and lowered his face to Lore's eye level.

"Thank you," Lore said coolly. "Now, haven't I taught you better than this? I understand that you need to eat, but I _insist_ upon the proper table manners. Do you even have napkins? How do you expect to keep your mouth clean? Tell me how – LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!"

Onox flinched again and slowly met Lore's eyes.

"Now is that so hard?" Lore asked. "Here's what you're going to do. You're going to go out, buy a table, and set it up properly with your plate, napkin and silverware. Then you're going to _thoroughly_ wash your hands, and I _will_ be checking so don't you even think about not using soap. You're going to sit down, out your napkin on your lap, and you will thank the goddesses for providing you with the meal, and _then_ you are going to use your knife and fork and eat your food like the civilized Dragon I know you are."

Lore paused, then added, "But before that, you're going to get stabbed in the face. Just a heads-up."

So saying, he, along with the nine other Links, proceeded to jam their swords into the now-conveniently-within-reach jewel on Onox's head.

* * *

"Okay, so she's a Spider now," Gen said, ever-so-slightly nervously. Speck, carefully slicing away the webbing around Gen's arms, glanced up and nodded before looking back down. Gen took a deep breath and let it out heavily.

"Had to be a Spider."

"Guess so," Speck said.

"AREN'T YOU DONE YET!?" Shadow yelled from somewhere behind them. He was busy trying to keep Veran busy while Speck got rid of the webs and it wasn't going all that well. He couldn't find her face anywhere, and any other strike he tried just bounced off an exoskeleton-type thing.

"I'm trying, it's sticky," Speck called back. "Keep her occupied just a little longer, please?"

"EASIER SAID THAN DONE!"

"Thank you," Speck called.

"Just another casual conversation with Shadow," Steam chuckled wryly despite being trussed up inside a web cocoon.

"Pretty much. Hold still please, I need to get this bit off your neck."

"No rush," Steam replied. "Not like there's a massive bug trying to kill us or anything..."

"Spiders aren't insects," Vio lectured from where he was de-webbing Blue. "They're arachnids, and those are completely different things."

"Do I look like I care?"

"_I_ do."

"Shut up."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" Shadow roared from somewhere to the left. "NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR YOUR IDIOTIC SIDETRACKING!"

"He has a point," Speck agreed, slicing the last webs from Steam's legs. "Are there any other webs?"

"We're good," Vio replied.

"Great," Gen said. "Now, does anybody have any ideas for-"

He was abruptly cut off by a very loud _BOOM _and Shadow's voice yelling, "TAKE THAT YOU CONNNIVING SELF-CENTERED PIECE OF TRASH EXCUSE OF A FEMALE!"

"...Did he just set off one of his house-sized bombs again?" Green asked heavily.

"Yes. Yes he did," Sketch answered.

* * *

"HOLD HIM STILL!"

"WE'RE TRYING!"

"YOU'RE CLEARLY NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH!"

"HE IS A GIANT FREAKING DRAGON!" Dusk bellowed. "YOU SHOULD BE THANKFUL WE CAN HOLD HIM AT ALL!"

Onox punctuated this with an earsplitting roar of his own, which only added to the cacophony, and jerked his neck sharply sending Mask flying. He hit the ground a couple dozen feet away and staggered to his feet dizzily.

"Don't you have a clear shot yet?" Ocarina panted, straining at the rope he was holding. Due to a lot of convoluted events mostly involving Lore, they'd managed to tie down Onox's head – mostly. He'd broken all the restraints within the first two minutes and now the only thing keeping the Dragon within sword range was the Links holding him down themselves.

"Look, if he's not breathing fire then he's moving so much that I can't get a good look at what I'm supposed to be hitting," Lore replied. "That's why I'm telling you to hold him still!"

"To which I said, _we're trying,_" Dusk replied through gritted teeth. He was actually responsible for holding two rope ends down; one in his hands, and the other smashed firmly underneath the Link's ball-and-chain.

Well, the rope underneath the ball-and-chain was taking care of itself, but that was beside the point.

The Dark Dragon took this moment to blast out another round of fire, which just barely missed burning through the ropes entirely and making Lore abort his stab attempt yet again.

"You see?" he gestured from a very safe distance.

"Then blast him with some Winter," Wind suggested. "It'll at least counteract the fire, if not hopefully freeze his mouth shut."

"Brilliant!" Lore declared, and proceeded to do just that. The force of a winter blizzard hit Onox's mouth in one tight package and, while it didn't manage to freeze the Dragon's whole mouth, it did cancel out the fire and leave a lot of frost behind in the process. It also had the convenient effect of startling him into a moment of stillness.

And Lore took full advantage of it, sprinting up and slashing as fast as he could at the forehead gem. He got in three hits before Onox recovered from the surprise and nearly snapped his jaws around Lore's entire upper half.

* * *

Shadow had inadvertently discovered that Veran revealed her head when a bomb exploded, but whether it was out of curiosity or pain nobody was really sure. But then again, nobody really cared either.

All the Links were interested in was exploiting the _heck_ out of it. Because if there was one thing the group enjoyed doing, it was blowing stuff up.

Thus, Veran found herself being surrounded on all sides by large amounts of explosives. Unfortunately, as she had already proved many times over the course of the fight, she wasn't one to give up easily. Her webbing proved more than enough to stifle the detonations, and her sheer speed – augmented by her _many_ extra legs – made it difficult to actually aim the bombs properly in the first place.

Put simply, the fact that they knew her weakness didn't make the battle any easier in the slightest. The problem was that now that she knew that they knew, she was doing everything she could to make sure they couldn't do anything about it.

"EVERYBODY MOVE!" Gen yelled and lobbed a bomb at the Spider. Unfortunately Veran saw it coming, scurried out of the way, and the explosive continued on it's merry path to detonate right on Shadow's head.

Somehow, he still managed to glare daggers as his upper torso knit itself back together.

"Aw crud, my bad!" Gen called.

"I thought Lore was the one with bad aim!" Shadow snapped.

"It was an accident!"

"Then 'accidentally' hit _her_!"

"What do you think I was trying to do in the first place!?"

"EVERYBODY DOWN!" Speck screeched, right before Veran spewed webbing everywhere for the umpteenth time. At the same time in a bout of luck, Sketch threw one of his own bombs and caught Veran right as she stopped to spit the stuff. Sure enough, her face popped up and snarled at them – but she was also on the other side of a webbing minefield.

So Vio snatched his Bow and Arrows and shot her in the head instead.

"...Hang on," Green said suddenly as Veran shook off the impact behind them. "You remember how Dusk has bomb arrows?"

"Give me a few minutes and some string and I can probably make my own," Vio told him. "Great idea!"

"Just do it fast," Steam said apprehensively. "She's coming back and she looks especially murderous this time."

"Dibs," Shadow said quickly, and took off sprinting with his sword drawn and a maniacal grin on his face yelling, "I'll be the distraction!"

"...He enjoys 'distracting' far too much," Blue decided.

* * *

"Guys, he caught on to the Winter tactic!" Lore shrieked. "Has anybody come up with Plan Q yet!?"

"I though we were on Plan R!" Realm yelled.

"WHO CARES!?"

"HIT THE DECK!" Dusk bellowed as Onox's clawed hand came sweeping over the ground. He followed this up with a fire blast for the heck of it and his best attempt to create an sonic boom by clapping his wings together with concussive force.

"Seriously though, does anybody have any more ideas? Because we're officially out of rope," Ocarina said, holding up the last charred and smoldering piece that was rapidly turning into ash.

"**Hookshot his arm down and have somebody run up to his head?**" the Four suggested.

"Last time we tried that I got thrown across the field," Realm said.

"**Last time we didn't Hookshot his arm down though**," the Four replied. "**This time he wouldn't be able to throw you. Or whoever ends up actually doing the climbing.**"

"Let's not do that unless we absolutely have to, just in case," Mask said. "Don't we have anything that could pull him down?"

"I could try to use the wind to foul his wings," Wind said, holding up his... Wind Waker.

"And I've got a Boomerang that does something similar," Dusk agreed.

"Does anyone have a Tornado Rod?" Ocarina asked.

"All in the Veran group," Realm replied.

"Dangit. Okay then... the rest of us can shout encouraging words?"

He received many dry stares.

"...Just a suggestion."

"How about we combine the two options and have Wind and Dusk push down with the air, and the rest of us pull down with Hookshots?" Lore compromised.

"...That's actually a viable plan," Dusk said, sounding surprised. "And here I thought your specialty was Distraction."

"I'm a Link of many talents," Lore replied, winking. "We doing this or-"

"**DODGE!**" the Four interrupted, and everyone threw themselves to the side as the Dragon blew _more_ fire at them.

"-not?" Lore finished.

"Let's do this," Ocarina said.

* * *

"Guys," Shadow said in between blows, "we have a problem. All my usual taunting insults compare somebody to either a girl or my nonexistent grandmother, and Veran's already a girl. Any ideas?"

"Does it matter!?" Steam snapped as he pulled webbing off his shoulder.

"Yes, it does," Shadow replied evenly. "Geez, why can't Lore be over here, he'd know what I'm talking about..."

"Compare her to a guy?" Speck suggested.

Shadow considered this, blocked an attempted gouging via Spider fangs, and shrugged. "Worth a shot. Oi, Veran! You hit like a man!"

The taunt abjectly failed to produce any reaction whatsoever.

"...Maybe if we compared her to something soft and fuzzy," Blue reasoned. "She seems like the kind of girl who hates girly things."

"How am I supposed to taunt with that?" Shadow asked, annoyed. "There is no possible way to compare somebody to a fluffy bunny in a derisive manner. I would know, I've tried."

Veran chose that moment to try and disembowel Shadow's head, which cut off all conversation for a few minutes.

"Let me try," Red said. He received more than one skeptical glance, but since nobody else had had much luck nobody could see the harm in giving him a go.

"Excuse me, Miss Veran?" Red asked. "I have something I'd like you to see. I've been working really hard on it and I really think you'll like it. Can you, um, stop killing us for just a minute so I can show you?"

Veran, to her credit, did stop trying to kill Shadow. But she did so in favor of trying to kill the small Red Link who was daring to speak to her-

And got completely blindsided by the surprisingly accurate image of an adorable puppy.

It should be noted that Red, while generally smaller and more timid than most of the other Links, was still a Link and therefore was bound and determined to save his world. So, knowing he wasn't as strong in swordplay, strategy, or insanity, Red took a look at what he _was_ good at that nobody else could do. And then he made it much, _much _stronger.

"You _weaponized_ your adorable puppy look?" Blue asked incredulously as Veran's legs gave out and she began making an odd _squee_ noise. It was even odder considering it was coming from a Spider and nobody knew how the Spider mouth was making that sound.

"Yep," Red chirped cheerfully. Sketch curiously leaned forward and made the mistake of looking Red in the face. He promptly collapsed due to sheer adorable overload.

"...Do we want to risk getting closer to her?" Gen asked.

"Probably not," Shadow called from somewhere. "She's still very capable of impaling us with her legs... Speaking of which, does somebody want to help me get this thing out of my ribcage?"

"I've got it," Steam volunteered.

"So that's a 'No'," Gen decided. "Which puts the bomb arrows plan back in gear. How's Vio coming?"

"Done, actually," Vio said, popping up in the group huddle. "What'd I mi- ...Red, did you weaponize your adorable puppy look?"

"Yep," Red beamed.

"...Huh. Uh, anyways, the arrows are ready."

"Can we use them quickly?" Red asked, still staring at Veran. "She's recovering from the initial cuteness."

"Just keep her still for a couple more seconds," Vio replied, nocking one of said arrows. He drew back, sighted, then let the projectile fly right into Veran's head, where it summarily exploded. This did two things. One, it knocked Veran out of her cuteness-induced trance.

And two, it caused her to reveal her face.

"NOW!" Gen yelled, sprinting forwards with everyone else right behind him. He'd been spending the entire Spider portion trying not to completely freak out, and he was _very_ ready to get rid of her. So naturally, his sword-slash packed a lot of force behind it. Immediately after landing his hit, Gen ducked out of the way to make room for Steam, who went for a stab before spinning to the left as Vio, Green, Blue, and Red shot in and did one of their quadruple-hit-thingies that looked cool but didn't actually have a name. They in turn moved to let Speck in, who slashed and then made room for Shadow, who stabbed and twisted and twisted and twisted – and then got knocked out of the way by Sketch, who'd been unable to stop himself in time and just used his residual momentum to launch a Spin Attack.

And Veran, having finally taken one too many hits, exploded. Well, not exploded as in she blew up and her remains went everywhere; Veran exploded into a mass of blue which screamed something unprintable and then coalesced into a solid black void.

"...I think we just won," Speck observed between gasping breaths.

And then everyone's legs gave out, as they'd been running for their lives since the beginning of the battle and the adrenaline had just worn off.

* * *

With all the force of a hurricane forcing him down from above and the less-but-still-significant pull from the Links on the ground, Onox felt himself slowly being dragged down out of the sky and closer to the earth below. However, this didn't mean he was going without a fight, _oh_ no.

That established, Onox proceeded to do his level best to blast plasma.

"INCOMING!" Dusk yelled as he and Wind threw themselves out of the way. The rest of the Links, who were more or less firmly planted due to their Hookshots, ducked behind their shields and fervently hoped the metal wouldn't melt.

Now, the Dark Dragon had been breathing an awful lot of fire over the course of the fight. And regardless of anything else, Onox was still a biological creature.

Which meant, sooner or later he was going to run out of fire.

And unfortunately for him, his body chose that exact moment to do so.

Wind and Dusk immediately resumed their manmade hurricane pushing down, and everyone else pulled as hard as they could. Slowly, Onox was hauled down to the ground where he thrashed about and generally tried to take off everyone's head within a twenty foot radius.

"Lore?" Wind panted. "Winter?"

"Can do," Lore gasped, chest heaving. He pulled out the Rod of Seasons, which pulsed blue, and swung it at Onox, who promptly became mostly encased in a foot-thick layer of ice. Being a Dragon, it began to melt almost immediately.

"Limited window," Lore wheezed. "Hit him now."

"**All at once?**" the Four suggested haltingly.

"Works for me," Mask agreed between inhales.

Somewhat clumsily, and with a great deal of heavy breathing, Dusk, Mask, Ocarina, Lore, Realm, Wind, and the Four all staggered up to the thawing Dragon and stabbed their swords into the jewel on his head.

And Onox, after shuddering once, collapsed.

He then dissolved into the black hole that appeared in his place.

"That... that wasn't so hard," Lore gasped. Dusk thwacked him upside the head.

"Yes it was," he panted.

It was then that everybody registered the sheer amount of burns, bruises, possibly broken things, clothes that were slightly on fire, and exhaustion. Consequently, it came as no surprise to any of them when their legs gave up on the concept of standing.

* * *

"You all need to lose some weight," Shadow grunted, dropping Ocarina's limp body next to the pile of all the other Links he'd collected. Every single one of them was sound asleep – except for Shadow, who didn't need something so wasteful and stupid.

"Okay," Shadow muttered, stretching out his arms which were cramping due to all the carrying he was doing. "That's all the guys from the Veran fight, plus Ocarina, Mask, Realm, and Lore. I still need to get... Dusk and the Four."

He paused, lowered his arms, and blinked irritably.

"Now how am I supposed to transport all Four of them at once?" he asked himself.

* * *

**TOAST ON A ****_PICKLE_**** THIS CHAPTER IS FINALLY DONE! **

**I want to apologize PROFUSELY for taking so long. But one thing led to another, multiple homework projects coincided at once, and this chapter turned out to be ****_several_**** thousand words longer than I thought it would. **

**To be exact, almost 15,000 words. Which is more or less 9,000 words longer than my typical chapter length.**

**I blame the secondary forms.**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to Snivy24, laststars, tigressRising, auraRilou, Opallstas, brushstrokesapocalyptic, confrontingInSaNiTy, Colorsplash21,Shadowsheikah308, Mgb07, Leonardo777, and Toto30 for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**The has-been who never will-be: First of all, those videos aren't mine. They're on the website STL Ocarinas as promotional demos for their products. And possibly also on Youtube, but I don't know if they've got a channel or not. Glad you liked the chapter though. And now for your questions... / I don't actually have a favorite color. They've all got something different in their feel and I have a hard time picking just one. / Uh... yeah, a couple times. I usually deal with it by writing, actually. This fanfic has turned into my stress relief. / My favorite game... well, the only one I can remember being in our house when I was younger was Super Mario Bros. Like, the one with the eight-bit graphics and the red-and-brown sprite. / Oh... gosh, I dunno. 3DS, maybe? I do play a lot of Pokemon.**


	48. Chapter 47

**(Sorry about the wait last time Universe, but Life got in the way.)**

**...****_Life_****. Don't talk to me about Life.**

**(I would think the two of you would be good friends.)**

**Life has all these exacting conditions that need to be met. I'm more of a free-floater.**

**(Okay then... Well, you ready for the disclaimer?)**

**The author does not own the Legend of Zelda. Good thing too, because you don't have money for the plane fare to Japan.**

**(College costs ****_so _****much money...)**

* * *

"...Green?"

"Yes, Red?"

"...I can't sit up."

Green let out a resigned huff of air. "Neither can I."

"Did we overdo it?"  
"Probably, Red. Probably."

"You _all_ overdid it," Shadow snorted from where he was sitting a few feet away. "All things considered, you guys have it easy. You should see the state Realm's in, he can't even _move._"

"I have never been this sore in my life," Realm moaned somewhere to the left.

"How come you're not down here with the rest of us?" Blue asked.

Shadow flashed a smug grin. "Because unlike the rest of you, I don't have to worry about pesky things like muscles and blood flow."

"...That's just not fair."

"Oi, loud people," Lore's voice drifted over. "I'm trying to sleep, and if you haven't noticed we are all completely wiped. Have some consideration, will you?"

"He's got a point, actually," Vio said. "Why and how are we currently awake?"

Immediately after asking this question, everyone who was listening suddenly realized exactly how tired they still were and decided they were going back to sleep.

* * *

Some hours later, the less-sore Links were straggling over to where Gen was passing out Potions, and the more-sore Links were lying on the ground and waiting for somebody to take pity on them.

The problem lay in the fact that Shadow was the only Link who fit into the 'less-sore' category, and he was both very cranky and very unwilling to play delivery boy.

Then there was the fact that Zelda, who was still bound, gagged and thoroughly unable to move, had appeared from somewhere and was giving her best authoritative glare which Mask weakly translated as, 'Link, untie me THIS INSTANT!'

Once that was done (by Shadow of course, since he was the only one capable of movement), Zelda evaluated the situation, decided her questions could wait, and took up the task of handing out Potions since Shadow, for the previously mentioned reasons, wasn't too keen on it.

"Really, did you boys have to destroy _all_ of the surrounding countryside?" Zelda asked as she pressed a bottle into Lore's hands.

"Some of it was a Dragon," Lore moaned from somewhere. "Actually, make that most of it... actually, make that all of it..."

"Giant Spider," Gen groaned helpfully.

"Okay, the Dragon did most of it," Lore corrected tiredly. "The Spider was responsible for the rest."

He uncorked the bottle with effort and took a large swallow, then continued with, "There was a lot of fire... and earthquakes... and poison... and magic... and webbing... and-"

"I think I see your point," Zelda said, cutting him off gracefully. "I retract my previous question and instead commend you on still leaving the landscape recognizable as... er... dirt."

"You're welcome," Lore said firmly, and took another large gulp of Potion.

Zelda just shook her head with a smile. "Now, how about you explain to me where all your other versions came from? If we've got a problem in the space-time continuum then I need to know about it."

"Actually, we're the ones fixing it," Dusk said, struggling into a sitting position. "So the problem is already being taken care of."

"You boys," Zelda chuckled, taking another round of Potions from Gen. "I don't know how you do it. Every time something happens it seems like Link is right there in the middle. I'm guessing that trait isn't just specific to my Link here?"

"It's apparently universal," Wind agreed, somewhat ruefully. The tone was good-natured, though.

Zelda chuckled again and handed him a Potion. "So, what should I call you all? If you're all named Link, that must have been incredibly confusing and I'm willing to guess you've all worked around it by now."

"I nicknamed us!" Red piped up cheerfully. Beside him, Blue winced and covered his ears.

"Not so loud..."

"Alright then, Link, which name would you prefer?" Zelda said to Lore. The ginger Hero paused mid-swallow and looked contemplative.

"Bwoare," he said – then frowned, swallowed, and repeated, "Lore. It's easier that way, plus the rest of us won't get confused as to which one you're talking to." He gave a jaunty wink and added, "Plus it's kinda grown on me."

"Lore," Zelda repeated. "It fits. And what are the rest of you called?"

"That's Steam," Lore said, pointing. "And I'm gonna let him take the rest, because I'm too sore and I want to finish this bottle."

"Cheapskate," Steam grumbled affectionately. "Okay... well, you know I'm Steam."

"Hello," Zelda smiled.

"This here's Sketch," Steam began, pointing gingerly to the Link lying next to him. "Over there's Speck, next to him is Ocarina and Ocarina's older self Mask – oh, but Mask is the twelve-year old."

"How-" Zelda started.

"Don't ask, it's complicated," Steam said with the air of one well-used to weird. "Behind them is Wind, next to him are the Four, next to them is Dusk..."

Steam continued going down the list as everyone else drank Potion and waved painfully when their name was called – except for Shadow, who rolled his eyes and flipped his hood up over his head.

"Nice to meet you all," Zelda said once Steam was done. "But are you all planning on recovering right here?"

"That's how we usually do it," Gen replied.

Zelda arched an eyebrow. "Tell me, how long has it been since any of you slept in a bed?"

Lore blinked. "...What's a bed?"

He received head smacks from everyone within reach and unamused glares from everyone else.

"Alright, I'm joking, sheesh," Lore muttered. "Take a chill pill, why don't you?"

"I will take that as 'a very long time'," Zelda decided. "Shadow, would you be so kind as to help me move your friends back to the Castle?"

"Wait, we don't need to," Wind said abruptly. "If we're going back, then I know where it is and that means I can just do this."

He raised his arm, feebly, and waved his Wind Waker in a down-right-left-up pattern, which was promptly followed by a veritable tornado that whisked everyone up – and set everyone down right in the middle of the Castle courtyard.

"And exactly how long have you been able to do that?" Mask demanded.

Wind shrugged. "I dunno... couple years, maybe?"

"And you never saw reason to do it before because...?"

"We never made return trips before. It only works on places I've been to."

"...Well that just seems counterintuitive," Mask muttered.

"I didn't make the thing," Wind replied.

"You boys," Zelda laughed. "Guards, help the heroes to the guest hall, please? And someone let housekeeping know we need seventeen piles of blankets – unless Shadow sleeps as well?"

"Why would I ever waste my time on something like sleep?" Shadow snorted.

"Seventeen," Zelda told her staff, who nodded and scattered in various directions.

"So much sore..." Blue wheezed as a pair of Guards lifted and started carrying him.

* * *

More hours later, the effects of the Potions had finally kicked in and most of the Links were up and about. There were a few exceptions, Realm being one of them and Speck being another. Realm obviously because he'd gotten stung and thrown, and Speck because Ganon had a tight grip. And Gen was all too willing to doctor them.

"You promised," he reminded Realm, holding out yet _another_ bottle of Potion and shaking it. "And this time there's no rampaging Dragon to get you out of it."

"You should probably do as he says," Speck opined, steadily draining his own bottle. "Remember how stubborn he can be?"

"I need to be in order to keep Lore in line," Gen said darkly. "And lucky for you, I'm applying it here. Now drink."

Realm groaned. "If I swallow anything else, I'm going to be sick."

"Better than permanently crippled," Gen said, unrepentant.

* * *

"Goodness, they really took a number this time," Nayru observed.

"It's a good thing Courage is so persistent," Farore agreed. "Speaking of which, how's their progress?"

"Well," Din said, looking over the timeline, "I've got good news and bad news. Which one do you want first?"

"Bad," Farore said. "That way we end on a positive note."

"Okay then. As of right now, Hyrule at the end of the timeline has been completely consumed. It's currently working it's way through the alternate versions and the Hyrule under the ocean is in the process of vanishing as we speak."

Both her sisters stared blankly. "...Explain to me how there is _any_ good news coming out of this," Nayru said at last.

"Courage is close to the source," Din replied. "There's only three other periods of Hyrule that he needs to go through before he reaches the founding point."

"Which is where he can fix everything," Farore finished. "That's... well, I guess it _is_ good news..."

"It just gets overshadowed by the sheer amount of bad news," Nayru added.

"Not... helping..."

"Hey, it's not all bad," Din countered. "Remember that time we gave Demise the slip a couple months ago? Well, he's almost found us again! We can _finally_ give him that Beatdown-To-Stall-Him!"

"...Again, how is that good news?" Farore asked. However, her question was ignored since Din was busy cackling in excitement and imagining all the ways she was going to give Demise what was coming to him. Nayru glanced between her two sisters and just shrugged helplessly.

"I'm beginning to be concerned for her sanity," Farore decided.

* * *

It took another full twenty-four hours for everyone to recover completely – or, rather, for Gen to decide that everyone had recovered completely. He wouldn't admit it, but that fight had brought them closest to losing a Link permanently and that fact scared him a little. So, he assayed his fears by cramming two extra Potions down everyone's throats and making absolutely one-hundred-and-twenty-percent sure that nobody had any leftover injuries.

All it really succeeded in doing was making everyone more annoyed at him than they were, on average, at Lore. Which was _really_ saying something. Even the Princess eventually walked up to the half-leader Link and told him, in no uncertain terms, that he could stop mothering now.

* * *

"Thanks again, really," Dusk said once everything had been sorted. "I can't begin to tell you how much we all needed that."

"It was my pleasure," Zelda smiled. "After all Lore's done for this country, it was the least I could do to pay him back. Not to mention that you all had a part in freeing me from Veran and stopping the subsequent rampage of monsters."

Dusk shrugged awkwardly. "It's... just sorta what we do." The Hero of Twilight, like most other Links, had no idea what to do with praise. Since most of their heroic acts came about simply because no one else could, they often didn't expect anything in return. Not to mention that a lot of the Links were uncomfortable with the spotlight.

Dusk, unfortunately, was one of those Links. Thankfully though, Zelda was good at reading social cues and discreetly changed the subject.

"Where will you go now?" She asked.

Dusk shrugged again. "Wherever we end up," he replied. "We don't really know where we're going until we're there."

"Speaking of which," Lore said, popping up from absolutely nowhere and slinging an arm around the taller Hero's shoulders, "we should be getting going, yeah?"

"It's your call, not mine," Dusk reminded him patiently. Lore beamed.

"Brilliant!"

He then proceeded to dubstep his way back to the rest of the Links.

...Somehow.

* * *

The hole, as it turned out, had never actually left Hyrule Field. So after saying their final goodbyes to Lore's Zelda, Wind used his transportation trick again and whisked everyone back to the battlefield.

…Which was a complete disaster zone.

"_Din_," Mask commented. "We did a _serious_ number on this place."

"Were we just too unconscious to notice the first time around?" Ocarina wondered.

"You didn't even wake up for a solid day and a half the first time around," Shadow snorted. "I was _this close_ to up and leaving you people, it was so boring. You're all lucky I remembered Midna was available to insult or I might have actually done it."

"We tolerate you too, Shadow," Speck said cheerfully.

"Can it, Pipsqueak."

Speck just smiled.

"Okay," Wind said in an attempt to get everyone back on track. "Are we all completely recovered?"

"Yep," Red chirped.

"And we're all ready to go?"

"**Does Realm have his sword?**" the Four asked.

"Great question," Wind declared. "Realm, have you got all your weaponry, items, and anything else remotely misplace-able?"

The following silence in which Realm abjectly failed to speak up lasted for thirty-three seconds before it was broken by Wind heavily facepalming himself.

"Of course he did," he groaned.

"**We'll go this way,**" the Four said, already heading off.

* * *

It took another ten hours, a sandtrap, seventeen different conversations with Subrosians, a drum, forty-two sticks, three Bottles, five swordfights, eight separate incidents involving Chu-Chus, eight separate incidents involving Cuccos, rope, a circus troupe, more rope, a blacksmith, even _more_ rope, a house-sized bomb, Midna's insulting prowess, a completely different set of eight separate incidents involving Chu-Chus (this time they were green), a Like-Like ambush, the Rod of Seasons, both Ocarinas of Time, the Postman, one singular Green Rupee, a map, the Spirit Train, quite possibly the Single Tallest Tree any Link had ever seen ever, Shadow, Shadow's cloak, Shadow's cloak's message, the ensuing mob and riot that happened because of Shadow's cloak's message, running, tripping, dodging, blocking, screaming, shrieking, yelling, shouting, bellowing, whispering, hiding, and twenty-seven uses of Wind's transportation method.

"I honestly have no idea what happened," Realm apologized sheepishly while the mob rioted behind him and something exploded. "I swear I took a left when everyone else did!"

"Realm," Wind said slowly. "Point for me which direction you think is left."

Realm lifted his arm, then paused, furrowed his eyebrows, and did a three-sixty spin before coming back to his original position.

"...Your left or my left?" he asked. "Because I'm gonna come clean right now and say I have absolutely no idea."

"...You defy the Laws of Everything," Wind decided, shaking his head and starting up his transportation spell before anything else could go sideways.

* * *

"We ready this time?" Steam checked.

"Ninety-percent sure," Vio replied, halfway through a head count. "And... has anyone seen Shadow?"

"After he started the mob and subsequent riot I made him pay a visit to Midna," Dusk answered. "Of course, I informed her of what happened, so... yeah. I'm pretty sure they've been going at each other for a solid three hours at this point."

"How's your head doing?" Speck asked sympathetically.

"I'm getting a little backlash whenever Midna yells too loudly, but overall not too bad," Dusk answered. "Thanks for asking, though."

"So in other words, we're as ready as we're going to get," Green summarized.

"Excellent!" Lore declared. "Not that I don't love my Hyrule, but _Din _if it isn't dull around here without a rampaging monster. Meet you on the other side!"

With that, the ginger Link marched through the hole and vanished, leaving the rest of the group to exchange resigned glances.

"...You made him leader, not me," Gen said stoutly before following Lore through.

* * *

Their first clue was that the sky was yellow.

Their second clue was that both Ocarina and Mask blanched and facepalmed themselves at exactly the same time.

"Who's native here?" Ocarina asked his older-but-younger self.

"Fairness would say it's your turn since I had Termina," Mask answered with a wrinkled brow, "but all things considered I probably know more about this place then you do. So I have no idea."

"Um... Tag-team?"

"Worth a shot."

"I take it this means it's your Hyrule?" Realm asked.

"Yep," The two Heroes of Time answered.

Lore took in a full panoramic view and blinked. "For some reason, I expected it to be less... evil."

"Well, that's more or less my fault," Mask said. Ocarina frowned.

"You mean _my_ fault."

"Er... _Our_ fault," Mask corrected hesitantly. "Currently, Ganondorf is in control of the country and it was... is, my... er, Ocarina's job to stop him."

"Oh, Sweet Nayru this is ridiculous," Ocarina muttered.

"Like _you've_ got a better idea of how I should be phrasing these sentences?"

"According to the book," Ocarina said, suddenly holding Lore's gift and flipping through the pages, "the proper terminology is, 'It is-on going-wer-on to be-on my younger self's job to stop-wer-on him'."

Mask blinked. "...Say what now?"

"Yeah, I don't know either," Ocarina concluded. "Just... keep doing what you're doing?"

"And what, exactly, are you doing?" Gen asked, looking utterly confused. His expression was exactly matched by fourteen other faces.

"We're trying to tell you that our next villain is going to be our," Ocarina motioned to Mask and himself, "Ganondorf. And it's gonna be a doozy."

"How bad could it be?" Sketch asked.

"You remember Dusk's Ganondorf?" Mask questioned dryly. There were a few winces as the Links thought back.

"Well, this is the guy that _that_ guy got all his ideas from," Ocarina finished.

"...**Oh, this is gonna be so much not-fun**," the Four decided.

* * *

**Guess who's got Fan Art? THIS STORY!**

**...Can you tell I'm excited?**

**Greenapplefreak of DeviantArt has made a ****_very_**** nice piece of fan art for Dimensional Links. In lieu of putting the link here, as I'm sure it won't work due to some wonky thing with the Fanfiction site, I'm just going to give you the name of the thing and hope that's enough to find it. It is titled ****_An 18 man army_****.**

**In other news, this was the 'Let the Links recover' chapter. 'Cause I kinda put them through heck last time and I figured they needed a break. And I apologize for both the short length and the long wait. I had the ****_worst_**** case of Writer's Block, and I literally had to drag every paragraph out of my imagination and then fix it.**

**Oh, and before I forget, I've been going through my earlier stuff and editing. Nothing major, but most of the Three Goddess scenes have been changed so you may want to go back and peek at those. And also, Lore's profanity. Apparently, 'bloody' is a fairly strong curse word in Britain.**

**...My apologies to any British natives I may or may not have been offending over the course of the last forty-something chapters.**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to all-American-****heroine, BKGeno, ****Oreocat155338, Gorko the Goron,****Jacobo139, Rowknan, ChibiChocolates, Lady of Teacups, Tyler Darkside, brice51297, TheChargingRhino, Tinyterror, smoll Gcat, Technofairy, DalekDavros, xXAnonymousBunnyXx, RogueArabesque, and To****pPercentage for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**Fbfan: I... don't actually think Veran can do that. In all the research I did on her for this chapter, making babies was never mentioned.**

**The has-been who never will-be: Well, since Valoo spent most of his screen-time being antagonistic, I decided to include him. Plus, the Helmaroc King is pretty similar. / As a matter of fact, I am subscribed to PBG. His ZeldaMonth videos are always interesting and have occasionally been helpful with this fic. / I don't actually have a favorite song because I like so many it's impossible to choose. / No, I have not seen Les Miserables. / And your joke was actually quite amusing :)**

**Rockster: Well, Fire Keese are Keese that are on fire, whereas the Keese Ganon was spawning were ****_made_**** of fire. I felt the need to differentiate. / ...Oh my goodness you're right. Kirb would have the ****_perfect_**** voice/personality for Shadow. That's hilarious.**

**Guest: Well, this was an idea I had kicking around in my head for... oh, probably months. When I couldn't find a story that matched what I wanted, I decided to make my own. ...After extensive reading, research, and time spent convincing myself that I'd be good at it.**


	49. Chapter 48

**(So, I ****_was_**** going to say something about going to see the Batman v. Superman movie... but then I realized I would be revealing spoilers. So now... I don't have anything to say.)**

**You are on the Internet, there is no such thing as preventing spoilers. Why delay the inevitable?**

**(Because at least, when the readers get it spoiled for themselves, it won't be on me.)**

**You are such a soft egg.**

**(… A... 'soft egg'?)**

**Indeed. Now, the author does not own the Legend of Zelda. They are actually alright with this fact despite numerous claims otherwise, as the author would have absolutely no idea what to do with a multi-billion dollar franchise.**

**(...The heck is a 'soft egg'? Where'd you get that from? What does it mean!?)**

**I think I'll let you agonize over it and enjoy the show as opposed to telling you.**

**(...This is gonna bother me for weeks...)**

* * *

Infuriatingly, Ganondorf was not in the place where Mask remembered him being.

"You gotta be kidding me. Again?" Sketch groaned. "What is it with the villains and not being conveniently locatable?"

A few Links shrugged in response.

"Maybe this is a good thing," Gen said. "After all, we didn't exactly prepare ourselves for this fight very well. I'm still completely cleaned out of Potion from the last fight."

"So visit the nearest shop and restock," Ocarina replied. "But trust me, an AWOL Ganondorf is about as far from 'good' as you can get."

"He's one of those people that you _really_ want to keep an eye on," Mask agreed. "You feel better when you know where he is, because that way you know he isn't off doing something destructively murderous."

"Er... what if he's being destructively murderous in front of you?" Speck asked hesitantly.

The two Heroes of Time looked at each other. "...That's when you thank the goddesses you're around to stop him and immediately go and do so," Mask decided.

"So Ganondorf is responsible for _all_ of this?" Blue asked, gesturing to the desolate landscape, shuffling Gibdos (who were being given a _very_ wide berth), and complete lack of anything living.

Mask and Ocarina exchanged another glance. "Well... we actually don't know," Ocarina admitted. "We spent the seven years that this happened in asleep inside a Temple. All things considered, it probably _was_ Ganondorf, but... we weren't exactly around to see it."

Dusk frowned. "What was it like, then? Waking up to... all this?"

Neither Hero answered for a few moments.

"...Like a nightmare," Mask decided.

Ocarina blinked. "Wait, I still think that?"

"Well, not me, so much," Mask answered him. "I'm thinking back to being you and remembering how we felt. At _my_ point in life, I... hang on, is this a spoiler?"

"Don't think so," Ocarina said. "So... what, we got over it?"

"...No, not over it," Mask said slowly. "But we did... well, I did, but you will do – wait, is that the right tense? ...Whatever. The point is that we've always got the memory, but we do some things that make the reality better. Make sense?"

"Not really," Ocarina said bluntly.

"That's fine, just remember what I said for your turn and you can confuse your younger self just as well as me."

"Was there a point to this conversation? Because if there was I don't remember it," Lore said thoughtfully.

"I'm restocking on Potions," Gen announced firmly. "So I'm going... where did you say Kakariko was again?"

"That way," Ocarina said, pointing.

"Thanks. I'm going this way," Gen finished. "And as half-leader, I sincerely hope at least _somebody_ is going to follow me."

"Well, me leading is a bad idea and we all know why," Realm said with a sheepish grin. He was currently boxed in by the Four, Wind, Vio, Green, and Shadow, because after the disastrous events of the last fiasco nobody was in the mood to deal with his misdirectional field again. "I'll be following."

"And _we'll_ be going with you," Shadow said darkly, hood drawn far over his face and glyph letters prominently spelling out a phrase highly offensive to moblins on his back. He'd changed it from the general death threat because he'd decided the message had lost it's impact after the same people read it for three weeks straight.

And since nobody else had any better ideas, the rest of the Links followed.

* * *

Once they arrived at Kakariko, both Gen and Lore proceeded to get themselves banished from any and all stores for completely different reasons.

Gen was banned because he completely wiped out the entire town's supply of Potion and would have bought more if there was any available. It wasn't so much that the shopkeeper didn't appreciate Gen's business, it was more the fact that having him around was dangerous to the general health of the populace.

In the sense that nobody could get a Potion, that is.

Lore, on the other hand, was banned for being himself in the most Lore-ish way possible. Specifically, he wanted to enchant a stick.

"Here I am," Lore explained to the shopkeeper and waving the stick for emphasis, "walking through the woods and minding my own business, right? And suddenly, I'm ambushed by horrible woodchuck demons! All I have to defend myself is this single, solitary piece of wood that has been functioning as my walking stick for the past three-point-seven-five-two hours, and what happens? My stick is devoured by the ravenous beaver-wannabes!"

Lore had emphasized this apparent dilemma by thrusting the stick into the air and accidentally shattering the lantern hanging from the ceiling, which had caused everything to go quite dark.

"I am overcome with sorrow for my stick!" Lore wept, clutching said wood to his chest. "For, if only it had been enchanted, I would not have been separated from my dearly departed tree-piece!"

This sentence had been punctuated with another wave for emphasis, which had given the shopkeeper a rather large bump on his head.

"I see... sir," the man had replied dryly and not at all in the manner of one trying to keep their temper in check. "And what... sir... enchantments do you wish to put on your stick?"

"Immunity from Fire Keese," Lore promptly replied.

The final straw had been the discovery that the stick Lore was using for his story was actually store merchandise from the Deku Stick bin, and that Lore had neither bought the item, nor anything else for that matter. This, combined with the collateral damage of the lamp, the shopkeeper's head, and the various other items Lore had accidentally-or-on-purpose hit with his wild gesturing, resulted in Lore being literally kicked out from the establishment.

"Of course..." Dusk sighed, shaking his head in a resigned fashion. He then proceeded to take over the restocking mission, as he was easily the most responsible Link in the group.

"You know, maybe Changeling should switch the leadership to a trio and have Dusk be the steady one who keeps Lore and sometimes Gen in time," Blue commented. "From what I can tell, he basically does that already. The only difference is it would be official."

Of course, Blue was immediately knocked unconscious by Shadow, who had taken up minding the walls for the time being and his idea went unheard by everyone except the readers.

"Oi!" Shadow snarled. "Don't make me hit you too!"

"Who are you talking to?" Red asked.

"Just another idiot," Shadow grumbled.

"...Why is Blue out cold?"

"He's learning a lesson."

Red nodded. "Oh, okay. Do you know where Green went?"

"That way," Shadow pointed brusquely.

"Thanks!" Red chirped, and left skipping.

* * *

Leaving Kakariko was delayed when Gen discovered that he couldn't fit all the newly-purchased and Potion-filled bottles into his bag due to the contents being a complete jumbled mess. So, while he organized his bag contents and grumbled to himself, the rest of the Links had a sit-down and just enjoyed the breeze.

Well, most of them did. Shadow just pulled his hood farther up over his head and crossed his arms in silent annoyance.

All in all, it was a fairly peaceful scene.

Which was why it came as no surprise to anyone when it was broken by the telltale _BANG_ of an exploding Deku Nut and a tall, red-eyed woman in a bodysuit dropped out of... somewhere.

"Link!" she snapped, yanking down her cowl and revealing herself to be Princess Zelda. "You have some _serious_ explaining to do, and-"

She stopped, blinked, then said, "Why do you have extras? If you've been messing around with the Ocarina of Time again, I will-"

"I only did that the one time and you know it!" Mask retorted.

"Dude, she's talking to me!" Ocarina hissed.

Mask twitched. "Aw, crud."

"Link," Zelda said in that calm voice that actually means the speaker is two seconds away from doing something violent. "What. Did. You. Do."

"She's talking to you," Mask parroted back with an evil smirk. Ocarina shot him a Death Glare before taking a deep breath and facing his irate Princess.

"Zelda!" he said. "Hi. Um... despite all appearances to the contrary, I have not actually broken the Universe. It did that on it's own."

Zelda's eyes narrowed.

"I MEAN," Ocarina frantically backtracked, "something happened to the fabric of reality and I got pulled in to help fix it."

"And I was _not_ the cause of it in the slightest," Mask added.

"Stop doing that!" Ocarina demanded, whirling around and creating an impromptu standoff. "I know we just interchange ourselves around the rest of the guys, but I'm trying to explain ourselves and you answering for me _as_ me isn't helping!"

"I know that, I'm you!" Mask shot back. "Which is why I'm accidentally answering my Princess out of habit even though she's talking to you!"

"I understand that, but if she wasn't going to be intimidating before she certainly is now-"

"Link," Zelda interrupted. "Work it out with yourself and figure out who's talking. Once you've done that, _explain yourself._"

"...I'm going to shut up and go see what Realm's up to," Mask decided hastily, backing away.

"Eh heh..." Ocarina chuckled nervously as he faced Zelda. "I should probably start by explaining why my child self and my adult self are in the same place at the same time?"

"That would be acceptable," Zelda agreed.

* * *

"...My appearance bores me," Shadow decided out of nowhere. "And since _you_ all are busy explaining things to _her_," he pointed to the local Princess, "_I_ am going to amuse myself by changing it."

"...Hang on, _what?_" Wind said. "Where's this coming from?"

"I've been looking like _him_ for months, and I'm bored with it," Shadow reiterated, this time pointing at Dusk. "I'm going to change it up. Hold still for a moment."

"But that's-" Wind started, only to get cut off as Shadow abruptly shrank in on himself and turned into an exact – aside from coloring – duplicate of him.

"Hmmm... bit too short for my tastes," Shadow decided. Wind, watching with an open mouth, was experiencing the incredibly disturbing phenomenon of watching his face make emotions without the aid of a mirror and without his doing it himself. He idly wondered how Dusk had managed to not freak out every time Shadow popped up, but this thought only occupied a small corner of his mind. The rest of his head was trying to rationlize and contain his automatic reaction of 'Sweet _Din_ that is creepy!'

"Oh relax," Shadow said, rightly interpreting Wind's expression as 'wierded out'. "I'm not keeping it, I was just trying it on for size." He smirked at the normal Link's discomfort, which Wind found to be such a disturbing look on his own face that he awkwardly decided to look somewhere else.

"...On second thought, if you're going to react like this every time I walk up, the height disadvantage might be worth it," Shadow mused, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "...Nah. Do you know where Realm went?"

Wind pointed wordlessly and watched as his exact copy sauntered off with a gait that Wind had never used in his life.

"...I think my brain just imploded," he decided in a small voice.

* * *

"My apologies for making assumptions," Zelda said once everything had been explained to her. "But in my defense, the circumstances gave the appearance of a broken time-stream and the logical conclusion was misuse of the Ocarina of Time."

"Given previous events, it's a perfectly logical mistake," Dusk agreed. "But, all things considered, you seem surprisingly okay with... all of us." He gestured to the rest of the group, where Red was showing Speck how he maximized his Adorable Puppy look to full effect while the latter took notes. "We're not exactly normal."

"You honestly think this would surprise me?" Zelda asked, somewhat dryly. "I've spent the last seven years under the guise of a Sheikah pretending to be Ganondorf's loyal follower. Trust me, I am _very_ good at controlling my emotions."

Dusk nodded. "That makes sense. You know, you remind me a bit of my Zelda back home... you've both got the same look in your eyes."

"What look would that be?"

"Well... like steel, I suppose. You know what you need to do and you've got no qualms about doing it, regardless of the consequences. You're strong."

Zelda gave Dusk an appraising look. "...Does she know you like her?"

Dusk, in a rare display of awkwardness, turned bright red and managed to do a spit-take despite having nothing in his mouth. Inside his head, Midna cackled hysterically.

"How do you people keep noticing that!?" he sputtered.

Zelda cracked a smile. "Piece of advice, Hero. If you don't make a move, she's not going to wait around for you. We Zeldas may be Princesses and rulers of our kingdoms, but we're still women and we appreciate a good romantic gesture once in a while. Tell her what you like about her, and she'll take it from there."

Dusk's face slowly returned to its normal coloring during Zelda's speech, and he nodded slowly with her words. Then he tilted his head and asked, "Does he know you like him?"

Zelda blinked, slowly. "And what makes you say that?"

Dusk shrugged. "It sounded to me like the advice you gave were the things you wanted to hear."

Zelda sighed. "I admit that I have... feelings for the Hero of Time. But clearly, he is caught up in something I cannot hope to understand. Not to mention that I am responsible for the vast majority of the hardships he has had to endure." Her eyes narrowed slightly. "What must he think of me, when it is my fault?"

Dusk hummed for a moment. "Well... you'll never know until you ask. Just... piece of advice," he added. "You might want to ask the twelve-year old version. Believe it or not, he's actually the older one."

Zelda blinked again, this time in mild amusement. "Would you believe that might be my fault as well?"

"What? Causing a space-time rift that pulled duplicate Heroes?"

"No," Zelda said, smiling for a second before becoming serious again. "I was planning, once Ganondorf was defeated and Hyrule saved, to use the Ocarina of Time to send Link back. To give him his childhood again... the time I stole. Your older twelve-year-old version seems to be the result of that decision."

Dusk pursed his mouth thoughtfully. "Were you planning to ask him how he felt about that?"

"I... did not think I would need to."

"It's always a good idea to ask," Dusk advised, standing up and stretching his arms. "Now, wasn't there a reason why you came to find us?"

Zelda snapped her fingers as she remembered. "Yes, there was. I wanted to ask if Link knew why Ganondorf seems to be changing his entire plan of attack. He's been gone for weeks, and now suddenly it's as though he's preparing to crush an army."

"How much do you know?" Dusk asked, suddenly much more attentive.

"Probably enough to make a difference, if only a little," Zelda guessed.

"In that case," Dusk said, waving the rest of the group over, "I think we'd all like to hear what you've got to say."

* * *

Under normal circumstances, Lorule Ganon's lack of noticeable return to Demise's head would have infuriated the pig immensely.

At the time though, Majora had still been extremely liable to burn, maim, and generally get-as-close-to-killing-you-as-possible due to the circumstances of its loss. Consequently, Lorule Ganon had been quite content to quietly creep into the background and try not to get himself noticed.

Veran, Onox, and Oracle Ganon returning, however, was an entirely different story.

_THOSE LITTLE _**_********! _**Veran screamed, causing Demise to twitch in audio-induced pain and eliciting multiple angry reactions from the rest of the villains in his head. _HOW DARE THEY! AFTER ALL THAT WORK THEY HAVE THE _**_NERVE _**_TO-_

_SHUT YOUR MOUTH, WOMAN!_ Twilight Ganondorf bellowed. _I deal with enough idiocy from Zant and Bellum without having to tolerate your failures as well! _

_We all failed too,_ Malladus pointed out to the furious sorceress. _Join the club. We beat up Zant every third Tuesday._

_I get to be a Pinata! _Zant enthused.

_I am NOT going to be a part of your Incompetence Club!_ Veran snarled. _My plan was _foolproof _until that redhead IDIOT blundered in!_

_Clearly not,_ Demon Vaati muttered – just a bit too loudly.

_Onox_, Veran said sweetly. _Would you do me a favor? There seems to be a bat in the room and I need someone to exterminate the pest._

Demise received the impression of an indifferent shrug. _I am not opposed to the idea,_ Onox replied. _After the defeat we have suffered I have some extra aggression to work off. The flying rodent will provide an excellent release._

_You dare call me a 'pest'!?_ Demon Vaati growled. _Come at me!_

_With pleasure!_

Immediately following this statement was a resounding _BOOM, _followed by a _crack_ and a pained shriek from Demon Vaati which went on for a good thirty seconds.

_Now why couldn't the so-called Heroes crush as easily as you?_ Onox wondered over his opponent's wailing.

_You're the one who compared them to ants, you tell me,_ Oracle Ganon grumbled. _By the way, I have some useful insight on the wolf-like one._

Demise perked up considerably upon hearing this. "Oh? Weak points, perhaps?"

_Nothing so useful,_ Oracle Ganon said ruefully. _I found his Berserk Button._

"Do tell," Demise said. If nothing else, he would at least get to hear how Oracle Ganon had gotten his butt kicked and that was _always_ enjoyable. It also made for excellent blackmail.

_He seems to have adopted his counterparts as pack,_ Oracle Ganon answered. _When I put one of the smaller ones in danger of severe bodily harm, he all but dropped everything to stop me. _

He paused, then added, _It was very painful._

Demise considered this information and let a smirk slide onto his face. "Interesting. _Very_ interesting... I can't believe I'm saying this, but you did well to notice this trait."

_It wasn't so much as noticing as it was him outright telling me... Right before he stabbed me... wait, why is this a good thing?_

"...This is why you are all failures and idiots," Demise sighed. "Attachments can be powerful things, especially when it is backed by instinct. However, in this particular Hero's case, I believe his attachments may be available to use against him."

_I think I'm going to like where this is going,_ Veran purred, having finished her ranting and now paying attention again.

"Perhaps. Has anyone else noticed something exploitable about any certain Hero during their fights?"

Bellum, who had up to this point been silent as he was a favorite target of both Majora and Onox (and having both of them back was wreaking havoc on the squid's nerves), suddenly spoke up with rapid-fire bubbling noises interjected with two _squelch_es and a _blurp_.

_He says there's one who fears the water,_ Ocean Ganondorf translated.

_Please_, Majora said coldly, speaking up for the first time since it had returned. _I could tell you all their worst fears right now._

"How do you know this?" Demise demanded. "And why haven't you mentioned it before?"

_Hmm... was I supposed to? _The mask mused indifferently. _I suppose I simply didn't feel like it. As for how I know... I am the incarnation of hatred and fear. I am made from negative emotions, curses, and nightmares. Knowing the secret terrors of my enemies is only natural._

"Well then..." Demise said, grinning. It was not a nice expression. "Care to share with the rest of the class?"

* * *

The stalchild stumbled across Hyrule Field with his normal, lurching gait simply because he had nothing better to do. Lord Ganondorf's rule, while an excellent thing for a monster such as himself, had the unfortunate side effect of making travelers a very hard thing to come by. The favorite pastime of the stalchildren race was to ambush unsuspecting commuters as they walked the Fields at night on their way to... wherever they were on their way to. But nowadays, nobody was really all that interested in going outside anymore.

It was rather boring, the stalchild decided. Nobody stuck around anymore. Of course, last he'd heard, Ganondorf had allowed the province of the Castle Town to be repopulated by Gibdos which understandably had further scared off the normal targets even more. Such was the price of a demonic overlord, he supposed.

The result of all this was that the Hyrule Fields were nowadays _astonishingly_ empty.

Which was why the sight of a large grouping of heavily armed and green-clothed boys understandably took the stalchild by considerable surprise. The surprise, however, was immediately followed by confusion, because the description of a green-clothed swordsboy matched the description of the Hero that Lord Ganondorf had been fighting against.

...This was probably something the Lord Ganondorf needed to know about, the stalchild decided, and stumbled off in the direction of his ruler's location.

At this rate, it was definitely going to take a while... but at least he wasn't bored anymore.

* * *

"Please don't," Realm said vehemently as Shadow, currently Realm's exact duplicate aside from coloring, did some preliminary stretching to see how the form worked.

"Not bad..." he said appraisingly. "But I may shop around a bit more. How does your musculature respond to lifting weights?"

"...What?"

"Oh in that case, definitely not," Shadow decided firmly. "Pity I can't keep the endurance, but whaddaya gonna do, right?"

"...This is _so_ creepy_,_" Realm stated, eyes locked on his own face. "How did Dusk tolerate you running around with his features?"

"I weighed it against all the other wierdness that happens to me and decided that on the scale of Wolf-Me to Zant, it fell somewhere a little below Ooccoo," Dusk called from some distance away. "After that I ignored it through willpower."

"That makes no sense."

Dusk shrugged. "_I _know what it means."

Shadow ignored both of them in favor of eyeing the other Links and muttering to himself. "I wonder what would happen if I tried-"

"**GAH!**" the Four yelped as Shadow abruptly morphed into them.

All Four of them.

"**Well this is interesting,**" the Shadows said. "**Didn't think I'd be able to copy that... Is this what it's like being you? It's kinda trippy.**"

Steam chose that moment to walk by and, after blinking frantically, rubbed his eyes with the air of one fairly certain he is hallucinating.

"Someone _please_ tell me I'm not the only one who sees Four Shadows," he moaned to nobody in particular.

"**We wish,**" the Four groaned.

"**Useful for pranks,**" the Shadows mused to themselves, "**but overall, too much effort, we think. What if we tried...**"

The four Shadows melted together and reformed as one body, causing everyone to breathe a sigh of relief – except for Steam, who found himself staring at himself and was having trouble processing it.

"Your legs are so short," Shadow said critically, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "And you've got the worst endurance I've ever copied. Seriously, how'd you ever get around?"

"**He rode a Train, remember?**" the Four reminded him.

Shadow paused. "Oh _that's _interesting... I've got all your mechanical know-how. You should really consider building some of these ideas, I think the one about the self-sustaining lantern system has excellent promise for exploding."

Steam promptly took that idea off his list of 'Things to Try Sometime'.

"But I'm not really one for building," Shadow decided. "Besides... you're _really_ short."

"I am not!" Steam said hotly as Shadow began shifting his form again. "I'm taller than Speck!"

"Everyone's taller than me though," Speck pointed out quietly, having wandered over to see what the commotion was about. "And I don't just mean while I'm tiny either."

"It's really not that impressive," Shadow agreed, solidifying. His appearance resembled Ocarina for about ten seconds before Shadow's face morphed into a grimace.

"Been there, done that, not happening again," he said bluntly, and promptly turned into Speck instead – then grimaced again and muttered, "Why the heck did I go for the shortest Link?"

"Because I was available?" Speck volunteered. "Are my bangs really that long?"

"I copy what I see, pipsqueak."

Speck examined himself carefully. "...I could use a haircut," he decided.

"_That's_ all you're getting out of this?" Steam asked incredulously. Speck shrugged.

"He's a free shapeshifter, it had to happen sometime."

"See? At least one of you has the right idea," Shadow said, already changing yet again and shifting into Sketch. "Hey, this one's not half-bad."

"I FORBID YOU TO COPY ME!" Sketch yelled from across the way.

"What is with you people and taking offense to this?" Shadow wondered ill-temperedly. "Dusk took my wearing his face just fine, what's your excuse?"

"Dusk is ridiculously tolerant of just about everything. The rest of us freak out a bit more easily," Realm said.

"I've just spent the last year or so looking like him, I don't want to do it again!" Shadow snapped. "Repeat forms are boring and I refuse to be short again after being forced into it when I copied _those_ four idiots!"

Red frowned. "I thought Blue was the idiot."

"It depends on my mood, the crankier I am the more likely I am to insult your intelligence," Shadow growled. "Speaking of which, Sketch, your brain is in your floppy hair and I don't want to deal with it."

Sketch gaped impotently and tried to figure out the proper retort to that. Shadow ignored him thoroughly and blurred, stretched upwards, and resolved into a dark copy of Gen.

"...Ooh, this one is _very_ nice," Shadow purred, examining his new fingers. "I think I'll keep it."

"You'll do no such thing," Gen snapped, marching up and jabbing his identical fingers into Shadow's identical face. "Copy Lore if you want to mimic one of the leaders. And I am seriously beginning to be creeped out by the fact that I'm effectively telling myself off."

Shadow matched Gen's glare with one of his own, which was basically Gen's glare only with Shadow's attitude behind it. "Get over it. I like this form and I'm not in the mood to go about changing it again. And there's nothing you can do to make me, so suck it up and deal."

Gen twitched.

"OI!" Lore yelled, jogging over and completing the group, with a curious Zelda trailing close behind. "You're picking a new form? Why didn't you try me?"

"...That sounds _so_ wrong out of context," Mask whispered to Ocarina, who nodded emphatically.

Shadow looked Lore up and down critically, then stepped forward and slapped Lore's hair.

"That's why," he said bluntly. "Your hair is large, poofy, hangs over your head like a ginger-colored raincloud and I don't want to deal with it. Get a haircut and maybe I'll consider it, but until then my standing reason is that it looks stupid."

It was a good thing, Gen decided, that although Shadow _looked_ identical to him at the moment, the voice was still Shadow's. Otherwise this whole dark-doppelganger thing would have seriously been freaking him out.

"Oh, and I'm still keeping this," Shadow added, throwing a smug glance at Gen which clearly said, _'Wanna do something about it?'_

"...Just don't rob a bank in my name and I'll tolerate it," Gen sighed heavily, utterly done with the whole situation.

"Excellent," Shadow grinned. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and rob a store instead."

"SHADOW!"

"Hey, you only said to not rob a bank! Excuse me for exploiting the clearly specified loopholes! "

"DON'T YOU DARE!" Gen bellowed, and took off sprinting after the cackling Shadow who was making a beeline for Kakariko.

"...Is this a normal occurrence?" Zelda asked after a moment of silence.

"Yes," the Links chorused.

* * *

"They'll be back eventually... probably," Dusk decided. "So, you were saying before about Ganondorf?"

"Oh yes," Zelda remembered. Before Shadow's antics had interrupted everything, the majority of the Links had been hearing what she knew about Ganondorf's current whereabouts.

Granted it wasn't much, as the King of Thieves was annoyingly paranoid sometimes, but something was still better than nothing.

"Ganondorf, as far as I can tell, has been setting up safehouses in various places around Hyrule," Zelda started. "I haven't been able to confirm anything because before he vanished the first time, he'd just discovered my alter-identity as Sheik." She motioned to her outfit and pulled her cowl up to demonstrate, which admittedly made it much harder to tell she was female, much less Princess Zelda. You had to look closely to figure it out.

"And since he knows I hold the Triforce of Wisdom, I'm now a highly-sought target," Zelda finished. "So my attempts at reconnaissance have been somewhat... limited."

"...If your life is in danger simply by being out in the open," Steam said slowly, "why the _heck_ are you out in the open?"

"I'm surrounded by eighteen trained swordsmen who are literally taught and equipped to fight evil," Zelda replied dryly. "If this doesn't keep me safe, then I'm going to have a _serious_ chat with Link here about what he does with his free time that none of his alternate versions can protect their Princess."

"...Good point."

"Safehouses?" Dusk prompted.

"I was getting to that," Zelda replied. "From here, the closest one would be in the Lost Woods-"

"We're doomed," Sketch said decisively.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You said the Lost Woods," Sketch explained. "The fact that you said it basically ensures that we're going because of reasons. And we've got a walking Misdirectional Field with us."

"I'm not that bad!" Realm protested.

"**Yes you are****,**" the Four told him bluntly.

"_So_ doomed," Steam said.

* * *

"SHADOW, I'M SERIOUS! DON'T USE MY FACE FOR THIS!"

Shadow screeched to a halt and flashed around to meet Gen, who was glaring at the dark Link with all the force he could muster.

"What _can_ I use your face for then?" Shadow asked, smirking.

"Honestly I'd rather you not use my face at all!" Gen snapped back. "But clearly arguing with you is going to get me absolutely nowhere, so I'm just going to settle for keeping you out of trouble with it!"

Shadow's grin slowly morphed into a frown. "It bothers you that much? _Why?_"

Gen, having not expected the conversation to take this turn, forgot that he was upset and pondered the question. "...It's my _face_," he said at length. "I dunno, it's... it's me. Your face is one of those things that nobody else has, and I guess it... bothers me, or something? That you're just taking it and doing whatever you want with it. It feels like... like something's being violated... I don't know how to explain it better," Gen finished, annoyed.

"Dusk never seemed to mind," Shadow pointed out, repeating the earlier conversation.

"Yeah, but he's Dusk. He can put up with _anything. _The man lives with Midna in his head, you really think seeing himself walking around is gonna bother him?"

"So... what you're saying," Shadow said slowly, "is that when I'm copying you, I'm... what, stealing something?"

"...Yes?" Gen agreed hesitantly. "Well, maybe not _exactly_... Look, I don't quite know what it is, I just know it feels wrong."

Shadow absorbed that and stood quietly for a moment. "...You realize that I'm the Hero's Shadow," he said at length. "All I can do is copy, that's just how I am. I don't _have _my own face. I will always need to use someone else's."

Gen scowled. "That's depressing. No wonder you're so cranky all the time."

"I'm cranky because you all are idiots," Shadow snorted. "Putting up with your stupidity gives me a headache and a half."

Gen glared at him, but there wasn't much force behind it – especially when an idea occurred to him. "Have you ever tried copying everyone at once?"

Shadow blinked. "What now?"

"You know, like, take a median or something," Gen gestured vaguely. "Combine everyone's features into one face and make _that_ one yours. You'd still be copying the Hero, so no problems there, and if you wanted you could probably pick and choose different features from different Heroes to get the look you're going for."

Shadow stared at him, his expression looking like it was torn between two opposite emotions. "...I can't decide whether that's brilliant or the stupidest thing I've ever heard," he said eventually.

"Oi, blatant contradictions are Lore's thing, don't shove it on me," Gen muttered. "Either way, it's at least worth a shot, right?"

Shadow considered this extensively.

"It can't hurt to try," he allowed. Then he smirked. "But if it fails, I blame you for any and all explosions that may or may not kill me. And in the event that I survive the attempt and it fails anyways, I'm still using your face."

Gen dropped his head into his hands and sighed heavily.

"It was your idea, the least you can do is compensate me," Shadow told him with no small amount of relish in his voice.

"...Fair enough," Gen agreed. "But _only_ if it fails."

"Yeah, yeah, you said that already," Shadow muttered, thinking. He counted on his fingers for a moment, frowned, then looked up and gave Gen's appearance a fierce scrutiny, mumbling to himself the entire time.

"...I'll keep the hair," Shadow decided. "You out of all the Links have the most sensible hairstyle. Certainly better than that floppy heap of mess Lore calls his bangs... and while I'm at it, I'll take the eyebrows too. There's nothing more annoying than eyebrows that don't match your hair color. You might as well go around with a sign saying, 'Hello! One of the colors on my face is fake!'"

"...All your coloring is either black or some variation thereof," Gen pointed out slowly. "I don't quite think it matters with you."

"I don't care, your eyebrows are wonderfully expressive and I can get a whole range of sarcastic expressions out of these babies," Shadow retorted. He then proceeded to do what equated to eyebrow gymnastics, running through a range of positions and motions that all managed to convey some level of annoyance, intelligence-questioning, and/or utter boredom. "Yes, these will do nicely," Shadow decided.

"That's... fine, I guess," Gen said, "but what are you going to do about – GAH!"

"What now!?" Shadow snapped, looking... well, it was actually impossible to tell. Aside from the hair on his head and the eyebrows, Shadow currently had absolutely no defining features whatsoever. His face, or where his face ought to be, was a completely blank slab.

"Warn me before you do that!" Gen gasped. "_Farore_ that's creepy..."

"Relax, I'll fill it in as I pick features," Shadow snorted. "Now, if I'm gonna to this right I need my references. You coming?"

"Duh," Gen said.

* * *

"-and that's about all I could get before my position became compromised," Zelda finished as Gen and Shadow rejoined the group. "Oh, hello again. How did the robbery go?"

"It didn't happen," Gen answered. "But Shadow decided to take a new perspective on appearances.

"Is _that_ why he has no face?" Realm asked curiously. "I did wonder, but to be honest I figured he was using it to scare some hapless townsperson..."

"I should totally do that sometime," Shadow agreed. Then he took a closer look at Realm overall and grimaced. "Have you got a pug nose? No thanks..."

Realm blinked. "What? What's wrong with my nose?"

"Not my type," Shadow dismissed. "And a _big_ no on the outfit, you look like you're wearing a dress."

Realm frowned at that, now beginning to be offended. "And what, exactly, is wrong with my clothes?"

"Buy some pants," Shadow said bluntly. "I like the belt though, nice and no-nonsense. I'll keep it."

The area around Shadow's midsection solidified into a darkened version of Realm's belt – which looked odd, considering it was the only thing of detail on his entire torso. He then took a good look around at the rest of the Links, muttering every now and then, and occasionally his appearance would change to incorporate something he liked. It was a rather fascinating process to watch.

Somewhere along the way though, it became clear that Shadow wasn't exactly incorporating individual elements from each Link so much as he was taking the general sum of their appearance and layering it on top of what he already had. For example, Shadow mostly incorporated Wind's ear-shape, and his ears changed to match Wind's appropriately – but his facial structure, which he'd borrowed from Ocarina, got ever-so-slightly rounder, influenced by Wind's younger and more childlike face. And when he'd taken Lore's nose, he'd also gotten just a bit more volume in his hair – still nowhere near the floppiness of the original article, but thicker than it had been before.

By the time Shadow was done, he didn't look like a collage of different pieces from different Links. He looked more like a blend, a merge of some defining features – like the eyes he'd taken from Dusk – but with little hints from all the others.

He certainly wasn't a copy anymore.

"Huh. Whaddya know," Blue said. "He makes it work."

"You look awesome!" Red enthused, giving Shadow an impromptu hug and entirely ignoring the way Shadow gritted his teeth in tolerance. "You've totally got your own look now!"

"And your own style, more or less," Wind noted, taking in Shadow's outfit. Like his face, it was basically a blend of features from the clothes the other Links were wearing... sort-of. Shadow had expressly refused to incorporate the tights/legging things that Ocarina, Lore, but after discovering his only other options were either very baggy pants (Gen and Dusk) or no pants at all (Realm, Mask, and a few others), Shadow consented to combine his previous two options and ended up with pants that were fitted, but somewhat loose.

"Wait- ear check," Shadow declared, and pulled out a mirror from absolutely nowhere to examine the appendages. "What, no earrings? I kinda liked those, they were edgy..."

"You took _my _ears, though," Wind replied. "And if I ever got earrings, Grandma would absolutely freak."

All things considered, the ears in question didn't particularly look like Wind's anymore, mostly because both Ocarina and Mask had some ridiculously pointed specimens and the bleed effect had altered the original shape somewhat.

"...Yeah, don't care," Shadow said, and pinched both earlobes between his fingers. When he put his hands down a second or two later, one small, violently red hoop dangled from each side of his head.

"Much better," Shadow nodded. "I'm _definitely_ keeping this one. Now, what were we doing before I started being fabulous?"

Gen frowned, briefly getting an uncomfortable flashback to a pale, flamboyant man in diamonds.

"We were combining clues to figure out where Ganondorf was," Ocarina told him. "And speaking of which, isn't this the guy who made you?"

All of Shadow's good mood dropped from his new face like a rock in water. "What about it?" he said coldly.

"Well... any ideas?"

"As a matter of fact, yes," Shadow said. "My original idea was to find some lava, figure out how to imbue my sword with it, and then use it to simultaneously give Ganondorf sixth-degree burns while chopping him into mincemeat, but then I decided that wasn't _quite _painful enough. So then I thought, what about-"

"Not those kinds of ideas!" Speck interrupted him hurriedly.

"Oh. What were you guys talking about?"

"Any ideas as to where he might be," Mask replied dryly, in a tone which said '_It should have been obvious..._'

"Oh, that. Not a clue," Shadow told him.

* * *

"Hyrule Field, you say?" Ganondorf repeated. The Stalchild nodded, rattling his jaw against his collarbone with a _clack_ noise.

"I see. Thank you for the message. You are dismissed."

The Stalchild bowed in accompaniment to more _clack_ing, and hobbled back the way he had come.

"They've arrived at last..." Ganondorf mused. "Took them long enough. Zelda too, you're braver when he's around... coming into the open is a risky business."

He took a moment to be annoyed by the fact that, had it not been for Demise's spell, the Princess would not have escaped his trap in the first place, but let it go just as quickly. What was done as done, and there was no changing that. Regardless of how much he would have liked to, but the Temple of Time seemed bound and determined not to work for him... curse it.

Regardless, this was an excellent time to put his plans into action. Charging out to meet the Links head on was a surefire way to get himself defeated. Even he had no illusions about what would happen if he tried to take on all eighteen of them at once. No, if he was going to win this, he needed an advantage...

Seven years should do it quite nicely.

True, the Temple of Time didn't work for him, but it was more than willing to activate for the Hero...

All Ganondorf needed to do was give it a little push.

* * *

**Because it occurred to me that I had Shadow looking exactly like Dusk, and I didn't think he'd like that for long. Plus I needed filler.**

**Cliffhanger, though. Sorry about that, but after the 15,000 word chapter I'm trying to avoid flooding you guys. **

**It was a good stopping point anyways.**

**Oh, and before I forget, I'm going through finals week. Don't expect any update until... May-ish? I've already been hit with a 10-pager, two 4-pagers, and an essay test. We're lucky ****_this_**** update even happened at all...**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to bleach103, drebom, everything12, ShadeShadow234, Twin Tails Speed, SwordCai, feral wolfskin, and Clopina for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**The has-been who never will-be: No, you don't need to have a channel to subscribe to Youtubers, and no, I don't have a channel. Sorry to disappoint you, but aside from Fanfiction I have no Internet presence whatsoever. / And yes, you actually already did ask those questions :)**

**Theotaku3: Thanks! I found it eventually, I just guessed you were on DeviantArt and typed in the title you gave me there. And good luck with the 'big big picture'! (Er... you are Animebae04, right?) (And I do not think you're bad at drawing, I think you're learning. One of my firm beliefs is that EVERYONE can draw. Some people just practice more than others, and you're one of the practicers. Keep doing what you're doing and you'll be amazed at how good you're going to get.)**

**Chariots Cave: I don't actually like licorice, so neither. / I prefer milk chocolate over the other two. / I'm going to guess your (new?) codename is inspired by Portal. / And as for who you are... I have a couple guesses, but your writing style is leaving me conflicting context clues... I ****_think_**** (and I could be completely wrong, so I apologize in advance) that you are LuckyLugia. (If you are, welcome back! If you're not... whoops. My bad.)**

**Zyrex: Well, I'm not actually familiar with Castlevania, but I do like the idea of Realm in the Lost Woods. Might use that sometime... / As for the earlier chapters, no, Midna doesn't return to her original form until Twilight Ganondorf is legitimately beaten. As of now, he's just taken up reisdence in Demise's head again and as such is not actually defeated. / As for Realm using the Spin Attack, well, he's been hanging out with all the guys who know how. If he ****_didn't_**** pick up on some new tips and tactics from them there'd be something wrong. Although, perhaps I should state this in-chapter to clear up any confusion...**


	50. Chapter 49

**(Didja hear about Pokemon Sun and Moon?)**

**Of course I did. I'm the Universe. I knew it was happening before Nintendo did.**

**(...Right. Anyways, I'm excited! I'm thinking I might try the Water starter this time, the past couple times I think I've gone for Grass. Sceptile in ORAS... Serperior in BW... and Torterra in DP... yep, all Grass.)**

**What about all the times you've restarted to play again?**

**(That doesn't count, it wasn't my first playthrough. Although on that note, maybe I should go for Fire instead... I haven't actively liked the Fire starter since Blaziken.)**

**As the Universe, I'm going to say... I don't particularly care, I have much more pressing things to worry about than a collection of pixellated dots. Oh, and the author does not own the Legend of Zelda.**

**(...Harsh...)**

* * *

The planning as to where the Links would look for Ganondorf was suddenly interrupted by the impact and subsequent explosion of a large, bright-white-yellow sphere of magic in the middle of the group. This was unusual because none of the Links _had_ magical projectile capabilities and everyone could see Princess Zelda hadn't done anything.

There was also the fact that the sphere had come from _outside_ their huddle.

"Guys?" Realm said, being facing the direction the magic had come from. "We may want to take a rain check on that plan to go find Ganondorf. I think he already found us."

Mask and Ocarina spun around simultaneously, with near-identical expressions of 'Oh _crud_' on their faces.

"Zelda, GO!" Ocarina bellowed, and the Princess snapped a Deku Nut on the ground, vanishing in the resulting flash of light. Ganondorf sneered at them.

"Well played, Hero," he said. "But she won't be able to hide from me forever. I shall simply take care of her once I've taken care of you."

"Not likely," Mask snarled, sword drawn and pointed menacingly. "I remember our fight and _you didn't win_."

Ganondorf ignored this statement entirely. "Prepare yourselves, boys. It's time you saw how a _real_ villain fights!"

* * *

The Gerudo King started off the battle by spinning off another of the white-yellow magic orbs and hurling it at the nearest target, who just so happened to be Green. The Link ducked with a yelp, which conveniently had two effects. The first and foremost one was getting him out of the way.

The second one was _keeping _him out of the way as Mask sprinted into position and whacked the magic back with his sword and all the strength he could muster.

Ganondorf _hmm_ed, then took two casual steps backwards and let the sphere blow past him. "Using old counters already?" he asked, _tsk_ing. "My, you've gotten predictable in your... young age."

"You shut up!" Mask snarled.

"I think not," Ganondorf replied, throwing another projectile. This time Blue knocked it back, having seen how it was done from Mask and wasting no time implementing the tactic. Unfortunately, Ganondorf dodged this one just as easily.

"Come now," he chided. "I thought you were better than this... perhaps I've challenged the wrong Heroes?"

"You take that back!" Lore protested, and lunged forward to try and stab. Again, Ganondorf simply stepped out of the way – and Lore, having expected to hit something, went stumbling past and ended up on the ground.

"You're the people who are supposed to defeat me?" Ganondorf asked, shaking his head. "My my... I'm beginning to think Demise overestimates you."

"Get back here!" Lore exclaimed, shooting up from the dirt and lunging forwards again. This time, Ganondorf casually parried and sent the Link running back into the group, where his sword ended up impaling Shadow through the abdomen.

"...Really?" Shadow asked dryly, wrapping a hand around the hilt and pulling the weapon back out again. "What, I didn't get stabbed enough during the Veran/Onox fight?"

"He's being difficult!" Lore explained crankily, shooting a glare at Ganondorf. Said villain yawned and flipped his hand in a 'Come at me' gesture.

"Right, that's it," Gen decided. "We are going to beat you into next week."

Ganondorf raised an eyebrow at this, then stepped backwards and negligently dodged an attempted slash attack.

* * *

Unnoticed by the Links, who were trying and failing to hit Ganondorf, the villain was slowly but surely leading them across the Hyrule Field, stepping only when he dodged and occasionally baiting the group into taking another swipe. Every move he made was calculated: if one of the Heroes realized what was going on, the ruse would become that much more difficult.

But then, that was the reason for the fight in the first place. So focused on the battle, they wouldn't have time to pay attention. Pity.

And so, Ganondorf led them on a dance. Lean, sway, one foot back. Dip, slide, two steps left. Spin to avoid, and stop – and step, step, step...

Who knew that all those dance lessons used to infiltrate Royal Balls would come in so handy?

* * *

"Why-aren't-you-fighting!?" Steam growled. Ganondorf considered this, casually stepped back from an intended stabbing, and shrugged.

"Blood is highly overrated, wouldn't you say?"

"Oh, _that's_ rich!" Mask sputtered. "You tried to kill me! Multiple times!"

Ganondorf brought one of his hands to his chin in mock-thought. "I feel I would remember that..." he said – and abruptly threw himself into a graceful backbend as the Four's swords whistled over his face.

"Future knowledge," Ocarina reminded his younger-but-older self.

"Okay, you _will_ try to kill me! Multiple times!" Mask corrected.

Ganondorf peered at him in between dodges. "Are you sure? Normally when I try to kill someone I'm much more successful that that. Could it possibly have been someone else?"

"NO!" Mask exploded.

Ganondorf frowned. "Well then, clearly I have some work to do, can't have a mistake of that magnitude walking around alive... You understand."

Mask snarled and made to stab the Gerudo, only to miss as his target slid back-and-left in one smooth motion.

"STOP _DOING_ THAT!"

"I believe I'll decline that offer, thank you."

"AAAAAARGH!"

He lunged forwards again, but missed as Ganondorf stepped back again and spun with the momentum, using the brief view of the opposite direction to see how much farther he had to go. Of course, none of the Links noticed this, simply seeing the dodge as just that – a dodge.

And that was exactly how Ganondorf wanted it.

On the other hand, he still had a ways to go before they reached his desired destination, so... better step up the pace.

Ganondorf promptly shot multiple energy projectiles at any Link moving.

* * *

The incoming mass of magic spheres caused more than one Link to yelp is surprise and created a lot of hurried dodging and/or retaliation. In particular, Realm, who had to fend off three at once, launched himself into a Spin Attack and silently thanked Dusk for teaching him back when they'd first met. The move had definitely come in handy _more_ than once.

Speck, on the other hand, took his usual way out and whipped out his Jar, shrinking right before impact. He then hitched a ride on Gen's pants, since the fabric was more voluminous than most of the other options.

They were also the closest pants in range, but eh. Details.

But for most of the Links, having a lack of shrinking options, sending the projectiles back was their only real option – but unfortunately, Ganondorf dodged them all. He now had his hands folded behind his back and, every now and then, yawned.

He didn't even bother to cover his mouth. Truly, he was_ evil_.

* * *

They were on the edge of the Temple grounds now, and Ganondorf was intent on making sure that the Hero of Time didn't notice. The rest of the Heroes were less of a problem, not being native and thus not knowing how important this place was to them. With this in mind, Ganondorf abruptly switched his focus from keeping everybody off balance to keeping two very specific people off balance.

It worked rather well; caught off guard by the sudden change in targets, the taller one was sent reeling right into the shorter one, knocking both versions of the Hero to the ground. The shorter one, pinned underneath, send the taller one an annoyed glare and began pushing with his one free hand.

"Ocarina, get _off_," he grunted.

"Sorry-" the taller one wheezed. "Give me... a minute..."

"I don't believe I will," Ganondorf interrupted, suddenly _right_ _there_ and shooting another round of magic spheres down at the two Links. They yelped almost simultaneously, the taller one suddenly finding the strength to move and the shorter one rolling to the side, avoiding the attack by the slimmest possible margin.

"Hey!" the taller one yelled. " Don't go killing me in front of me! Do you have any idea how traumatizing that would be!?"

"Yes," Ganondorf told him bluntly. "That was the point." Really, did none of these Heroes understand what 'Evil' was?

"You JERK!" the Hero yelled, and lunged again.

* * *

Ganondorf dodged Ocarina's slice with insulting negligence and, raising an eyebrow, proceeded to avoid every subsequent attack simply by taking one step backwards per stab.

"You may want to take accuracy training," Ganondorf advised in a bored tone. "You've gotten sloppy since the last time I saw you."

"I helped take down a dragon last week, I think my sword skills are fine, thanks!"

"And yet, you still haven't landed one single hit," Ganondorf replied. "And to think, you've apparently managed to beat me sometime in the future. Are you quite sure your other self is not mistaken?"

As he spoke, Ganondorf dodged a particularly angry stab attempt by leaning to the right and twisting himself halfway. This allowed him to get the briefest glimpse of what was behind him...

_Perfect._

Meanwhile, Ocarina was experiencing an intense onslaught of sudden self-doubt. Ganondorf's taunt had broken open his biggest fear: that he wasn't good enough.

Sure, he had Mask around now, and seeing how confident his future self was, how much he'd accomplished, was a huge motivational booster. The problem lay in the fact that Ocarina just couldn't see _how_ he'd gotten so good.

There he was, the Hero of Time, having saved both Hyrule and Termina from certain destruction, and for the life of him Ocarina couldn't figure out how he'd done it. Mask told him he'd figure it out, yeah, but...

But there was always this small voice that wondered, _Am I really good enough to become him?_

* * *

On the far side of the room the group was now in, Shadow narrowed his eyes at Ganondorf while the rest of the Links caught their breath.

"...Something's not right," he muttered.

"What's that now?" Steam gasped.

"I don't want to tear him limb from limb," Shadow elaborated, pointing at the Gerudo King. "He's the one who made me_ and_ abandoned me, but for some reason I don't feel like killing him."

He received multiple concerned looks.

"Dude, you feeling alright?" Blue asked.

"Maybe you're sick," Speck suggested. "Does your forehead feel hotter than normal?"

Shadow gave them both his 'You're an Idiot' glare. "I'm going to give you a few seconds to rethink that statement and realize exactly why it's impossible before moving on," he said.

Both Links thought about it for a moment, remembered Shadow wasn't actually biological, and decided to stop talking.

"Thank you," Shadow said. "My _point_ is, I'm not actually sure who we're fighting."

Everyone blinked.

"...Oh boy," Sketch gulped.

* * *

"You... you take that back," Ocarina growled.

Ganondorf blinked at him. "What on earth makes you think I'm going to listen to _you?_ You're just a boy in a man's body trying desperately to keep up. What do I have to fear from someone like that?"

"Plenty," Mask snarled, appearing on Ocarina's left. "He kicked your butt, Ganondork. I should know, I was there."

"He wasn't," Ganondorf replied simply, pointing at Ocarina.

"I will be!" Ocarina snapped, lunging again. Like before, Ganondorf made to dodge by stepping backwards – only for his legs to seemingly bump into something and stop his retreat. Ocarina, seeing this, took full advantage of the situation and brought his sword down in an attempt to impale his enemy through the torso.

Unfortunately for him, that's when everything went horribly wrong.

As the sword came down, Ganondorf suddenly smiled. It was not a nice smile. In fact, it was an absolutely terrifying smile because it was the sort of smile that said, 'You've just royally screwed yourself over and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it'.

The next moment, he vanished into thin air.

"Phantom!" Mask yelled in alarm, beginning to twist around to warn everybody else – and suddenly turning white as he recognized his surroundings. Ocarina, on the other hand, was seeing everything in slow motion, because he'd just realized what the Phantom Ganondorf had 'bumped' into.

Specifically, the stone sheath of the Master Sword.

The stone sheath that the Master Sword was currently heading straight for, driven by Ocarina himself.

Mask, halfway through spinning himself back around, noticed this at the exact same time the weapon slid fully into the rock.

"Oh, **CRAP**."

And before anybody could do anything else, the Temple of Time _thrumm_ed and the world turned white.

* * *

Ganondorf, who in reality had never actually set foot in Hyrule Field during that entire showdown, cut his connection to his Phantom, steepled his fingers together, and allowed himself a smile.

That couldn't have gone better if he'd done it himself.

Just a few more things to take care of, then. The first, he'd already done; erect a barrier around the Master Sword, to prevent the Hero from simply removing it again and coming straight back. His Phantom had taken care of that when it's corporeal body had dissipated, the energy used to make it real now repurposing to block anything end everything from the pedestal.

Second, though he was not looking forward to it, was to contact Demise and see about getting himself put back seven years. Competent though Ganondorf knew himself to be, he did not trust his past self to grasp the importance of the situation and eliminate all the Heroes with the necessary urgency.

And third, appropriate a pictograph once in the past. If _any_ of his theories on the Temple of Time's magic were correct, Ganondorf wanted to preserve the results on physical paper.

This, he thought, would be both fruitful, and hilarious.

* * *

The first thing Ocarina noticed was his height, which basically confirmed that everything he'd been afraid of was happening and that he should give up on the rest of his hopes now, because they'd just been dashed against a very hard and pointy wall.

The second thing he noticed was that Mask, who was standing next to him, was now five.

"Wait, what?" Ocarina blurted – taking a moment to grimace at his nine-year-old vocal chords – and stared at his older-but-much-younger-than-he-was-used-to self

"Uhh..." Mask replied intelligently, clearly just as confused. Ocarina was about to respond – until he got interrupted by a two-feet-shorter (and absolutely livid) Shadow.

"WHAT ON DIN'S EARTH DID YOU DO!?" Shadow roared, stalking up and practically spitting in Ocarina's face. "LOOK AT ME! _LOOK AT __**THEM!**__"_

Ocarina and Mask both blinked, then slowly followed Shadow's finger to where the rest of the Links had been standing.

There was now a group of fifteen boys ranging from toddler to ten-year-old stage.

"...Oh," Ocarina said in a small voice.

"I _really_ hope there's a good explanation for this," one of the ten-year-olds said. Mask blinked fiercely.

"_Duthk?_"

The word came out in a high-pitched, slightly lispy voice, causing Mask to twitch and Shadow to fall over laughing.

"Were you expecting someone else?" Dusk replied dryly, in a voice that was at a _much_ higher range than anyone was used to. He looked down, picked up one of the toddlers, and said, "Huh, Speck was cute as a baby."

"That's _Speck!?_"

"Well... yeah, I'm pretty sure he was only going on eleven," Dusk said. "Seriously though, somebody explain this to me?"

Instead, Ocarina blurted, "How are you not freaking out?"

Dusk calmly set Speck back down on the floor and looked Ocarina in the eye. "I've had weirder," he stated. "Besides, we've all pretty much established that I'm the level-headed one, and plus, Gen is already freaking out enough for three Links."

Sure enough, a younger version of Gen was rocking himself back and forth on the floor while a significantly brighter-shade-of-ginger Lore scurried through the group of toddlers and tried to guess who was who. He'd already mis-identified Wind and Steam and was in the process of completely mixing and matching the Four and Red, Vio, Green, and Blue. Clearly, he was having the time of his life.

"...Basically, I'm being the adult," Dusk finished resignedly. "Again."

"Okay, yes, this is weird," Ocarina agreed. "But it'll only take a few seconds to fix, I just need to-"

He turned around and stopped dead. "...This could be a problem."

The Master Sword was completely encased in a dark red-black barrier, which sparked angrily when Ocarina tried to put his hand through and gave him a nasty electrical burn in the process. Ocarina yelped and snatched his hand back, shaking it to try and regain the feeling while glaring at the force-field all the while.

"Definitely a problem," he decided. "We can't get back."

Shadow abruptly killed the mood by triumphantly discovering he could just utilize his shapeshifting abilities to get his old/new form back and promptly did so. He then looked down on all the smaller Links and said, "I've always dreamed of this moment..."

"Thut up and take thith theriouthly!" Mask snapped. "Thith ith a mathive problem!"

"A massive problem which is completely hilarious," Shadow replied, barely holding a smirk off his face.

"Seriously though, how long are we stuck like this?" Dusk asked. At his feet, Speck crawled around on the floor before tugging on Dusk's pants. The older Link lifted him off the floor and tucked the Hero of the Minish into his left arm, automatically adjusting his posture to support most of Speck's weight on his left hip. Everyone who was capable of doing so stared at him.

"What?" Dusk asked. "I've been around kids before, you know, I've got an adoptive little brother."

"You're in charge of them," Mask decided instantly, pointing to the multitude of the other toddler Links, all of whom were beginning to crawl around and explore.

"I've only got two hands," Dusk pointed out mildly.

"Right... Shadow, help him," Ocarina decided.

"Why me!?"

"Because you're a free shapeshifter and you can have as many arms as you want to, now pick up a toddler and help."

One of said toddlers chose that exact moment to burst into tears. Dusk sighed, smiled tolerantly, and handed Speck off to Shadow, saying, "Support his back or he won't feel secure," before scooping up the crier and bouncing him playfully.

"Calm down Steam, everything's fine," Dusk told the child. "We're gonna fix this, promise."

"Freaking out," Steam told him. Dusk nodded.

"That's perfectly understandable, but I need you to calm down, okay? Some of the guys are younger than you right now, and I need everyone as calm as possible. Think you can do that?"

Steam nodded. Dusk gave him another patient smile, but didn't put him down as he surveyed the rest of the child group. "Is anyone else panicking?" he asked.

Multiple small and/or chubby hands went up, Gen's included. Lore just beamed.

"This is so _cool!_" he enthused. "I've never done this before! I knew coming along with you guys was a good idea, look at all the interesting stuff that happens!"

"Not now, Lore," Dusk said sharply. His half-leader stopped mid-bounce and looked at Dusk attentively.

"As much as I appreciate your craziness and the humor you have, this is not the time," Dusk lectured. "You can go back to being weird _after_ the rest of us are done freaking out, okay?"

Lore sighed. "Yeah... yeah, you've got a point, I'll put on my serious face. What's the plan?"

"Hold Steam," Dusk instructed, handing said Link into Lore's surprised hands. "And don't patronize him, he's still got all the mentality of the Steam you know. The only thing getting in the way is his foot-and-a-half of height and the fact that his tongue isn't used to being talked with."

"Uh... got it," Lore said, sharing a glance with the child in his arms. Steam blinked back like, '_I don't know when he took charge either.'_

"Mask, Ocarina, you guys grab Wind and Sketch," Dusk ordered. "Shadow, give Speck back to me once I get back and go handle the Four – and for the Love of Nayru, _remember _to keep them together, otherwise the discordant effects of being separated will trigger their crying instinct. They're only three physically." He took a deep breath, then said, "I'll handle Gen."

* * *

Dusk sat down next to his half-leader and carefully looked him over. Gen had a wide-eyed look of shock-panic-terror on his face and seemed to have stopped blinking entirely. Dusk frowned; Gen was the medic, he didn't know what going into shock looked like.

However, he _did_ know what completely freaking out looked like, and this was pretty darn close.

"Gen," Dusk said. "Can you look at me?"

He received a slight twitch that turned the Hero of Sky's head ever so slightly his way; but other than that, nothing.

"Gen," Dusk repeated. "_Look at me_."

The new tone got a response, and Gen slowly met Dusk's eyes with his.

"Still me," Dusk said, motioning up and down. "Just younger. If I had a photo, I could show you me when I was ten and you'd see I'm exactly the same. That's all this is."

Gen said nothing.

"We all turned into animals once," Dusk reminded him. "You were a falcon, and remember what you did? You spent the next two months learning how to fly. And you didn't freak out then. So... why now?"

"..." Gen whispered.

"Ah," Dusk nodded, having heard every word Gen had said despite the volume. One of the perks of being part-wolf. "So having the warning makes that much of a difference, huh?"

Gen took a deep breath. "I... I never had to go through a form change before this. The falcon thing... was different, I had fair warning, I had time to get used to the idea, and... and it was our choice. This is... completely unwarranted, I admit it shocked me, but what gets me is that... is that _we didn't plan this_. This is an accident, but it's a _deliberate_ accident, Ganondorf _wanted_ us this way, and-"

"Deep breath," Dusk interrupted.

"Right... sorry... Geez, I thought I was used to this kind of thing by now."

"There's always something," Dusk shrugged. "I always think I know everything Midna's going to do, and then she goes and does something that throws me off all over again."

"What's she think of this?"

Dusk listened for a moment. "...She still hasn't stopped laughing. Apparently my kid voice is hilarious and sends her over the edge every time I open my mouth."

Gen snorted, then turned contemplative. "I wonder how... I... whoa."

"Pretty much," Dusk agreed. "You're not much better."

"Geez, I haven't been this high-pitched in... years."

"Probably around seven."

"Sounds about right," Gen agreed. "Hey... thanks."

"My pleasure," Dusk grinned. "Now, can you come help with the younger ones? I've already got Shadow on the Four, but someone needs to help keep Green and them upright. They're right at the 'unsteady walker' age and Blue throws a tantrum every time he falls down."

"Ouch," Gen said. "Yeah, no problem."

"Great – SHADOW DO _NOT _HOLD HIM UPSIDE DOWN!"

"HE ASKED FOR IT!" Came the furiously bellowed reply. Dusk took a deep breath, eyes closed.

"I don't _care_, he's four years old right now. Hold him upright or so help me, I will break your neck if you break his."

"...Fine."

"...Okay yeah, I should go help," Gen said quickly.

"That would be greatly appreciated."

* * *

Shadow, although increasingly angry, was the only one who could have more than two hands, and thus ended up saddled with all eight of the Four Sword Links. Realm, who was now seven, was handed Steam, who was five. Mask, who was five, was given the three-year-old Speck, as he was the lightest and probably the one Mask could support the best with his child body. The ten-year-old Gen was put in charge of Sketch, who was six and could mostly handle himself, except for the times when he tripped over something, which was frequent. Lore, who was nine, was given Wind, who was also six – but the ironic thing was that Wind was spending more time controlling Lore than the other way around. It just looked and sounded absolutely hilarious.

Ocarina didn't have a child to look after, but this was fine by him because he had enough to worry about in the first place.

And Dusk, after _finally_ getting everyone organized, was the go-to guy if anybody's toddler instincts took over.

"So now that we've got all this sorted out," he said, "will you two _please_ explain to us what happened and how long it's going to last?"

Mask hoisted Speck farther up his hip with difficulty and exchanged a glance with Ocarina, who sighed and stood up.

"We went back in time," Ocarina said quietly.

"And that causes spontaneous de-aging because...?" Gen prompted.

"The Temple of Time workth differently," Mask started, frowning at his own speech impediment. "It utheth the natural order of thingth, and – thith ith ridiculouth!" he complained, interrupting himself. "Ocarina, you exthplain, I'm annoyed with my own tongue."

"Like Mask said, the Temple of Time doesn't actually operate like a standard 'time machine' would," Ocarina explained. "It moves the fabric of time back and forth without discrimination, meaning that everything – and I do mean _everything – _that's inside it's influence gets affected."

"But why did it even start up in the first place?" Lore asked, earning nods from the rest of the Links, toddlers included.

"Well... the Master Sword kinda acts as the trigger," Ocarina answered sheepishly. "And I... may or may not... have gotten tricked into using it."

"_That_ explains why I didn't want to kill anything!" Shadow exclaimed, sounding relieved. This earned him several odd looks, which only got more confused as they took in his currently ten arms holding onto the eight toddlers (Some of them (Blue) required more than one).

"What?" he said. "It wasn't actually Ganondorf, it was a trick. Therefore, my 'Kill the Pig' instinct wasn't activated."

"...It's sad that I accept that sentence as normal," Realm sighed, high-pitched like everyone else.

"Back to point?" the six year-old Wind reminded everyone.

"Right, sorry. Uh, to answer the second half of your question, Dusk... a while."

There was a moment of silence before Gen said, "Define 'a while'."

"There'a a barrier around the Master Sword and I can't get through it," Ocarina admitted. "We need the Master Sword to get back, but... I _can't_. And the barrier can't be dispelled without the power of the seven sages, but right now half of them are my age and none of them will be able to be awakened because Ganondorf hasn't made the world a disaster zone yet. We're... we're stuck here."

The Four simultaneously burst into tears, causing Shadow to nearly drop them in surprise and a good bit of annoyance. Dusk sighed, wordlessly held out his arms, and somehow managed to take all Four of them into his lap where he set about calming them down.

It wasn't like they _wanted_ to cry, but the instincts of the four-year-old body were too strong to resist sometimes. Normally they would be much more composed.

"Okay... I admit that wasn't what I was wanting to hear," Realm started. "But I guess we've been through worse... maybe."

"Do we have any sort of plan at all?" Lore questioned.

At this point, Ocarina tried to exchange another look with Mask, only to find that his older-but-younger self was staring at the ground. After a few seconds he noticed someone was looking at him and met Ocarina's eyes with a resigned expression.

"I'm not going to be much help," Mask said, gesturing down with his one free hand. "I'm _five. _Can't do much when I'm five. Thith one'th gonna have to be on you."

Ocarina suddenly found the situation to be exponentially more intimidating.

"Okay... um... It's Ganondorf's forcefield..." Ocarina said slowly. "So logically... if we beat him, it should disappear."

"Wait wait wait. Back up a second," Gen interrupted. "We need to fight the guy who's responsible for this? _Like_ this? Am I the only one who sees that as a _spectacularly_ bad idea?"

"Have you got a better one?" Ocarina asked him.

Gen paused mid-sentence, thought about it, then let out a heavy sigh. "...No."

"My point exactly. So... uh... I guess we should move out... there's no point hanging around in here since we can't go back."

"Makes sense," Dusk nodded, having calmed the Four down sometime earlier and handing them back to Shadow. "Now, everyone who can walk, find somebody bigger than you and stick to them like glue. Shadow, you handle the Four, but find a better way to hold them around other people, not everyone is used to seeing you with extra hands. I'll take Blue, Ocarina can take Red, Lore holds Speck, Realm can take Vio, and Gen can hold Green. We good?"

"Why do I always end up with the most kids?" Shadow seethed.

"Because you're the only one who can actually keep them together," Gen told him. "And the rest of us have two each, so stop complaining."

"We're being good," Sketch pointed out in the halting sentences of a child still learning how to put words together. From the look on his face, he'd meant to say something a good bit more sophisticated until his six-year-old mouth muscles got in the way.

"Yes you are, and thank you for that," Gen replied, taking Green from one of Shadow's multiple arms in the process.

"Hang on, should we have an alibi?" Lore asked. "I mean, normally we just sorta run around and cause mass amounts of chaos and nobody questions it because we're old enough to handle ourselves. Now we're kinda... not. What's the plan?"

Ocarina glanced around at the group. "Well... we're all about the age for it, so... Alright, we're Kokiri visiting from the Lost Woods. Nobody knows much about Kokiri so the fact that we're all going to be siblings won't get examined too closely, and nobody will wonder – much – about us all being kids because Kokiri aren't supposed to get much older than this anyways."

"We thpeak from exthperienthe," Mask informed everyone.

"Aside from that..." Ocarina shrugged. "Find a house and figure out how to support ourselves and all the toddlers, I guess."

"Castle Town?" Realm asked.

"Castle Town."

* * *

"...and we were wondering if we could rent a place to stay for a while," Ocarina concluded to the very, _very_ confused property salesman, and readjusted his grip on Red, who was slowly sliding through his hands.

"I... I'm sorry... what?"

Ocarina sighed, wondering how Dusk did this without losing his temper. "My brothers and I are Kokiri visiting from the Lost Woods," he repeated slowly. "We have a big family and we don't know how long we'll be staying, so we were wondering if we could rent a house for the duration."

"But... Kokiri are a myth."

"Clearly not, I'm standing right in front of you," Ocarina replied somewhat sharply. "Look, can we just... are you willing to rent us a house or not?"

"...You're ten."

"Nine," Ocarina corrected tiredly. "And for the record, I only look nine. Kokiri stop aging when we're still children. My brother over there's actually... a couple hundred years old, I think? We lost track."

He was, in fact, talking about Gen, who, when one calculated the years in between his time and Ocarina's time, actually was a few centuries older. Unfortunately, this only served to make the salesman even more disbelieving.

"You're pulling my leg," he decided after a moment. "Good prank, kid, but I'm not buying it."

"It's not a prank!" Ocarina snapped. "Look, I've got eight little brothers in the toddler range and we _need_ someplace to spend the night! Don't you have _anything_?"

The salesman by now was smiling, confident he'd figured out the game. "I'm sure your mother is worried about you," he said. "What's her name? I can help you look for her, and then your little brothers can get a nice nap."

"Don't patronize them, it's only physical," Ocarina muttered. "And no, I do not need your help looking for my mother! I'm a _Kokiri_, I don't _have_ a mother!"

The salesman sighed. "Kid, I have a business to run, and if you won't let me help you then I don't know what to say. You can hang in my building if you want, but please move to the side so you don't block the customers. I've still got a living to make."

"I'm _trying_ to _give_ you business!"

"You're _ten!_"

"Nine!" Ocarina retorted, then took a deep breath and reigned himself back in. "This is just – gah... Sorry for wasting your time."

He stomped out the door, muttering mutinously under his breath.

"How'd it go?" Lore asked cheerfully, balancing Speck in one arm and holding Wind's hand in the other. Ocarina stalked past him and started pacing.

"This entire town thinks Kokiri are made up," Ocarina fumed. "Nobody believes me! I mean, last time I was here I got a few strange looks, but I didn't think _everybody_ believed we weren't real!"

"Castle Town's a no-go then, huh?" Gen guessed.

"Pretty much... And now I'm out of ideas..."

"What about the actual Kokiri?" Dusk suggested.

Ocarina blinked. "That's... That's actually not a half-bad idea. Saria at the very least will let us stay the night, and as long as we avoid Mido with every fiber of our being we might be able to stay longer."

"Which way then?" Realm asked.

"This way" Ocarina decided. He renewed his grip on Red, started off towards the Castle Town drawbridge-

And abruptly stopped mid-stride.

"Something wrong?" Steam asked, stumbling over his words a little.

Ocarina didn't respond, because he was paying attention to something else. Namely, the small, moving spot of warm on top of his head and underneath his hat which hadn't moved in weeks.

"Link?" A small, chiming voice murmured sleepily through the fabric. "Why's everyone so loud?"

Ocarina froze. Mask, who was in hearing range, also froze. And Dusk, after glancing between the two of them and concluding they wouldn't be moving anytime soon, reached up and helpfully removed Ocarina's hat.

Navi blinked at the sudden rush of light and hastily covered a yawn. "What'd I miss?"

* * *

**It's been a while since I dropped a good cliffhanger. **

**Aside from that, who saw this coming? **

**Yeah, me neither. And I was the one writing it... I mean, I had the basic idea, but the rest just sorta hit me as I went.**

**Before I forget, I've attempted to make a Favorite Link poll as a response to requests. Basically you vote for your favorite Link, and... that's about it. You can vote three times but DO NOT vote for the same Link for all three of them. That's cheating, and I legitimately want to know who the fan favorite is.**

**And if you don't know where to find polls, there should be this little hard-to-notice sentence at the top of my profile that says, 'Which Link is your favorite? Vote Now!' Click on that and follow the directions, it shouldn't be too hard…I think.**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to LolAngel161, Theotaku3, RizLuvAnime, anibutterfly, thylasupial, CatrinSara, silversliced-rain, Kairiaka, Perseus Champion, dauntingnebula7, coolosus1, apha jd, Gargantuan Yoshi, zotinha456, and Taiski for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**sbr8910: Actually, the Realm I've written has only been through the original LoZ game and hasn't gotten to AoL yet. Once he does, then yes, I'll include the magic spells. ...This'll probably happen in that spinoff/sequel thing I'm planning.**

**The has-been who never will-be: Glad you liked it! / Hmm... sucked inside a game... well, as much as I love them I would ****_not_**** choose a Legend of Zelda game. I'd die at the first boss monster. So in that light... Sonic, maybe? It'd be fun to run that fast, and as long as it's not '06 I think I could handle the plot fairly well... oh, wait, put Unleashed on the list too. Do ****_not_**** fancy fighting the Dark Gaia thing.**

**Chariot's Cave: Well, dangit. And here I thought that was a valid guess. Can I get a hint? Like, when was the last chapter you reviewed (other than the one immediately prior)? / No, it doesn't really bother me, although I ****_would _****like to know who you are (reviewer-wise) eventually. / And that you for the compliments... wasn't expecting that :)**

**Guest: I wasn't planning on using Koholint, because that would involve getting the Windfish, putting it ****_back_**** to sleep, getting the exact same nightmare to come back, getting all the Links to be at the right place at the right time, somehow getting Lore to get sucked in again even though he already knows how it works and would likely avoid it at all costs, and ****_then_**** somehow getting ****_all_**** the other Links into Lore's dream. It's just... too unlikely. **

**Zyrex: Would you believe I had both of those planned before I ever got your review? Well, maybe not ****_planned_**** planned, but they were definitely in my head. You're not the first person to request a Realm-in-the-Lost-Woods disaster.**


	51. Chapter 50

**(Don't actually have anything witty to say up here, I'll figure it out later)**

**WELL. I am HIGHLY offended.**

**(GAH! Universe, this – these are my notes! Get out of my notes!)**

**I think not, I have every right to be everywhere at once.**

**(But I don't have anything witty! This is supposed to be my placeholder until I actually DO have something!)**

**Your loss. Now, the author does not own the Legend of Zelda. I assume I would normally be dictated to say something humorous about your inability to actually own this franchise, but since you apparently have no inspiration right now I shall simply leave it at that.**

**(You aren't supposed to be using this! They're PLACEHOLDERS! None of this is supposed to be put online-! ...this is already online, isn't it.)**

**Eeyup.**

**(CURSE YOU UNIVERSE!)**

* * *

"I told you I was gonna take a nap, Link," Navi yawned. "I thought we agreed that explosions and screaming be kept to a minimum when... I... you're not Link."

"I'm not your Link, no," Dusk agreed. "But I am _a_ Link. Yours is underneath you."

"Oh," Navi said, processing this. "Well... thanks."

"My pleasure."

Navi started her wings and flew down to hover in front of Ocarina's face. "Link, back to my point about the napping thing – what happened to _you?_"

"Accidentally put the Master Sword back, got tricked into letting Ganondorf put a barrier around it, can't get back," Ocarina summarized hesitantly. "Navi, we-"

"YOU DID _WHAT!?"_ Navi screeched. "How could you be so careless! You let the King of Evil trick you into your child form!? And for that matter, WHERE WAS I WHEN THAT HAPPENED!?"

"You were asleep," Dusk informed her helpfully. "You've actually been asleep for a few months, give or take a week."

"Thank you," Navi said, nodding to him. Then she did a double take. "I'm sorry, this only just occurred to me, but who the _HECK_ are you!?"

"Link. Call me Dusk for convenience's sake."

"Navi, meet me from another time period," Ocarina chipped in. "Also, meet fifteen more of me – and yes, I know Shadow's here, he's sixty-percent friendly now. Oh, and meet literal me, from about three years from now."

Navi stared as Mask waved cheerfully, the rest of the Links chorused 'Hello's, and Shadow somehow communicated a greeting death threat despite having all six of his current hands occupied.

"...I take _one_ _nap_ and look what you go and do," Navi sighed, shaking her... glow, affectionately. "Alright, what did you break and how far are we from fixing it?"

"Why do you automatically assume I broke something?" Ocarina protested.

"Need I remind you of your fantastically fickle luck when it comes to these things? Ruto still thinks you're her fiancee."

"...Theoretically, I acthually might be able to make that a plauthible match now," Mask mused. "Do you know how sthe feelth about muthicianth?"

"_Absolutely not_," Ocarina hissed.

"Jutht kidding... heh..."

"Oh my goodness you are absolutely adorable," Navi said slowly. "I think I'm going to melt."

"Navi, that'th disthguthting."

Navi did the fairy approximation of blinking. "Have we been introduced?"

"Navi, this is _literally_ me," Ocarina said. "He's the one from three years from now."

"...Link," Navi began. "I know this whole 'Not a Kokiri' thing is still a bit new, and I know you haven't had the most experience with the aging process, but when people are _smaller_ than you, that typically means they are _younger_."

"I know that!" Ocarina retorted. "Look, he's me continuing on from age nine after we apparently beat Ganondorf."

"I'm thuppothed to be twelve," Mask added helpfully.

Slow comprehension was dawning on Navi. "So... you're _all_ supposed to be seven years older?"

"Yep."

"Pretty much."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you!"

"More or less."

"We're still getting used to it."

"We've actually had weirder, if you'll believe it," Dusk said, finishing the impromptu sound-off.

Navi stared, this time _actually_ taking in the vast amount of green-clothed boys, small children, and toddlers. And Shadow.

"...Oh," she said in a small voice.

And then she passed out.

* * *

"...Well, that could've gone better," Ocarina sighed, carefully returning Navi to the safety underneath his hat.

"But it also could've gone a lot worse," Gen reminded him. "Remember when Midna had a 'talk' with Ciela? And remember how Tatl reacted by physically beating Mask into an apology?"

"...Good point."

They were abruptly stopped from continuing that conversation as Shadow finally lost his temper.

"I AM _DONE _HOLDING YOU PEOPLE!" He roared, all but dropping the Four on the ground. This caused the synchronized Links to burst into tears again, adding to the already significant volume of Shadow's yelling voice and making the dark Link even more annoyed in the process. "STOP _DOING_ THAT!"

Dusk narrowed his eyes, calmly handed Blue to Gen, and proceeded to confront Shadow in one of his closer displays to actual anger.

"Shadow."

"WHAT!"

"Pick them up."

"Look, I may tolerate being around you people, and I tolerate a _lot, _but I refuse to be a pack mule!"

"You're the only one who's physically capable of keeping them together."

"And how do we know that separating them is a bad idea?"

Dusk's face set itself, and he reached down to where the Four were still crying.

"Sorry," he said to them, then picked up the violet member and lifted him up away from the other three.

Both the crying and the volume levels abruptly and jarringly increased by a factor of twelve.

"PUT HIM BACK!" Shadow – and everyone else for that matter – yelled frantically, and let out a relieved sigh when the crying returned to the normal level. "Alright... I see your point there. But I can't keep carrying all Four of them the way I've been! I have limits like everyone else, manifesting other limbs gets tiring."

Dusk frowned thoughfully. "What if you formed a carrier instead?"

"Eh?"

"Swaddle them."

Shadow tilted his head. "So... like this?"

In a physically questionable series of movements, Shadow picked up the Four, moved them to his back, and wrapped them cocoon-style in a long black fabric that seemed to be spawning straight from his clothes, wrapping around his shoulders and torso to make the toddlers as secure as possible.

"Exactly like that," Dusk approved. "How long can you hold it?"

"This? This is just clothes, so... pretty much indefinitely. It's things like limbs and complete form change that take it out of me."

"Good. This solve your problem?"

Shadow tested his movements for a minute, the swinging motions making the Four bounce and giggle on his back. "...It's a little clumsy, but _far_ better than holding them all up front. I'll deal."

"Thank you," Dusk told him, then walked back to Gen and reclaimed Blue, which made his half-leader gasp in relief. Holding two toddlers in two arms got really heavy after a while.

"...So now that that's settled," Ocarina said slowly, "we've still got the overnight problem. All those for the Kokiri Forest?"

There was a general mumbling of agreement.

"Right. Okay." Ocarina took a deep breath. "When we get there, _please_ let me do the talking. The Kokiri know me, and if I say you're with me they should _probably_ accept you. Mostly."

With that, Ocarina set off walking, leading the way out across the drawbridge and into Hyrule Field, where everyone started the long trek towards the woods. It was a long and involved process, mostly because the Links who were toddlers couldn't keep up as well as they normally would. And while everyone _tried_ to keep the crying instinct under control, there were a few instances where control was just not good enough.

As such, the overall trip took multiple hours.

* * *

"So that's the Forest," Lore noted, readjusting Speck for the umpteenth time. "I don't like it."

"Why not?" Ocarina asked dryly. Lore examined it intensely – although there wasn't much to see as the sun was going down – then shrugged.

"There's not enough round things."

"But it's a woods, those don't – you know what, never mind," Ocarina sighed. "Just follow me, step where I step, and _somebody_ _WATCH REALM _or we're _never_ going to find him. And I mean that literally."

"I'm not that bad!" Realm protested half-heartedly, in the nature of someone beginning to acknowledge that he actually _was_ that bad and resigning himself to it in an amused fashion. Of course, the fact that everybody informed him that yes, he was, even the three-year-old Speck, helped to cement this idea. And Wind, after giving Lore a 'Behave' look, dropped his hand and took Realm's instead.

"You need me," he said resolutely.

And with that, the Links set off into the forest.

* * *

The Kokiri Village actually wasn't all the far off from the edge of the woods, but the sheer amount of twists, turns, and time involved in navigating said twists and turns made it seem _much _farther in, as well as the fact that the sky was _really_ dark now. And shockingly, Realm managed to _not_ get lost.

This may have been because Wind had ended up recruiting literally everyone but Shadow to keep an eye on the wayward Link alongside him, and with so many eyes watching him Realm couldn't even manage to look in the wrong direction without someone noticing. It also helped that, while the Kokiri Forest was confusing, it wasn't actually the Lost Woods as of yet.

Still, it took a few hours before the group finally found the clearing of the Kokiri Village. In fact, it was practically the middle of the night.

"We're here," Ocarina announced, tiredly. There was something about carrying a small child that was absolutely exhausting, and Ocarina was struggling to keep his grip. In fact, the only people who didn't seem to be struggling with their grip were Dusk, who seemed to know _exactly_ how to hold his toddler without getting tired, and Shadow, who didn't actually have a grip anyways.

There was also Realm, but he was Realm. He didn't count.

"Can we sit down?" Gen panted. "I don't... think I've got as much stamina... as I used to."

"No wonder I'm so tired," Lore realized. "I'm nine. I completely forgot about that for a minute."

Ocarina suddenly realized that they'd walked what basically amounted to several miles, which would have been tiring even when they were all seven years older.

"Ah... whoops," he said sheepishly. "Sorry guys... I should've called for a break or something earlier."

"Hey, we didn't notice either," Realm said, who for some reason was _still_ not tired. "This is new to basically everyone."

"Still... I should have noticed."

"Since it's a bit late for that, how about a place to spend the night instead?" Dusk suggested tactfully.

"I can do that," Ocarina agreed gratefully. "My house is the third on the left. Since we're all smaller we should be able to fit on the floor without too much trouble, and hopefully we won't draw too much attention. Whatever else we need to deal with can be handled after we rest."

"I agree with that!" Lore said happily. "It's been at least two days since I've had a nap and I need to catch up on my schedule."

"The last time we took naps was when we got the stuffing beat out of us by a Dragon, a Spider, and a Pig," Gen reminded him dryly.

"Exactly!"

"Keep it down!" Ocarina hissed. "We're still going to have to explain ourselves to the Kokiri and I don't have a good alibi yet!"

"Oh, right. Sorry."

Ocarina sighed. "Yeah, I know... just walk quietly, and we'll introduce ourselves in the morning."

Because it _was_ dark, the Links weren't quite as quiet as they wanted to be and more than one person stumbled over... something. Then there was the ladder, made all the more intimidating by the fact that people were holding toddlers. And then there was the furniture inside the house itself, which was inconveniently _not_ lit and resulted in a lot of stubbed toes.

But eventually, everybody got themselves sorted and organized on the floor, more or less, and promptly fell asleep. Even Shadow was tired, although he would later deny having ever been unconscious in the first place.

* * *

Ocarina woke up to a ringing in his ear, which he quickly realized was not actually ringing but was in fact Navi shouting at him through his hat. He immediately let her out in order to relieve his eardrums.

"Finally," Navi complained, shooting up to hover a few feet above the floor. "It was getting _really_ stuffy in there... Link, I had the _weirdest_ dream. You were a child again, and there was another one of you, and there were also multiple extras, and..."

She trailed off as Ocarina dryly raised an eyebrow and pointed to his left, where Mask, Wind, and Realm were sprawled on top of each other and lightly snoring.

"...Oh," Navi said in a small voice. "So... all that actually happened?"

"Yep," Ocarina said.

"...Okay," Navi acknowledged slowly. "This... okay. I can deal with this."

"Great," Ocarina sighed in relief. "Because I could _really_ use your help thinking up an excuse to tell the rest of the Kokiri about the guys, I'm completely blank."

Navi hovered in place, thinking. "How about the truth?"

"I told you the truth and you passed out," Ocarina reminded her. "I tell _Mido_ the truth, who knows what he'll do."

"...That's a valid point," Navi conceded. "I didn't see much of your relationship with him back when I first met you, but I got the impression he doesn't like you very much."

"That would be a severe understatement," Ocarina muttered.

"Friends from Castle Town?" Navi suggested.

"Somehow I think telling Mido that I brought Hylian strangers into the Forest might be _worse_ than telling him the truth."

Navi let out a sigh. "Then I've got nothing."

A yawn from Mask alerted them to the fact that the rest of the Links were waking up. Said Links then promptly joined in on the conversation.

"We could go find Tharia before anybody elthe notitheth," Mask suggested. "She'th the authority now that the Great Deku Tree'th gone, right?"

"That could work, actually," Ocarina said thoughtfully. "But if she's not in her house, then we're in for a _horrible_ time."

"Why's that?" Navi asked. "You've lived here all your life, it's not like you don't know where you're going."

"I'm not the problem," Ocarina told her. "Realm's the problem. He can get lost within ten steps."

"Er... six, actually," Realm corrected sheepishly.

"My point exactly."

"Well, maybe you'll get lucky," Navi said optimistically. "It's still early, she's probably still asleep. You'll be fine."

* * *

"Navi," Ocarina said conversationally. "In the future, please refrain from saying optimistic things. You're a magnet for jinxes."

Saria's house was empty. When Ocarina looked away and back, it stubbornly remained empty. It did not bode well.

"Lotht Woodth?" Mask asked resignedly.

"Lost Woods," Ocarina confirmed.

Wind firmly grabbed Realm's hand in preparation.

* * *

"Okay," Ocarina announced to the group. "I'm seventy-percent positive I remember the way to Saria's favorite spot. _Do not_ under any circumstances decide to go exploring. There is a reason it's named the Lost Woods and I'm not in the mood for any of you to find that reason out. Just follow me, and everything should work out fine."

This was all well and good in context, but unfortunately for the group, Realm managed to vanish in the very first connecting log. Ironically, it had taken exactly six steps.

"...Dangit," Ocarina moaned.

* * *

Realm, meanwhile, had absolutely no idea what had just happened. He was positive that he'd followed the group, but there'd been this one dark patch, and he'd stumbled and lost Wind's hand, and he _thought_ he'd continued in the right direction...

Clearly though, the lack of excess Links said otherwise.

Okay then... maybe they'd gone this way.

He walked through the right-hand log and came out in a clearing that looked remarkably like the clearing he'd just been in. Slightly confused, Realm turned around, immediately forgot which log he'd come out of, and chose the one on his left. Going through that one led to another clearing, which happened to look a lot like the one he'd just left, which in turn had looked a lot like the one he'd started in.

Now genuinely confused, Realm went straight to try and keep his bearings. This resulted in _another_ clearing which looked a lot like the previous one, which looked like the one before that, which looked like the one before that. This only confused the Link more, and after turning in a puzzled circle – and completely losing which direction he'd come from again – just picked the direction he was facing and went in it.

This clearing looked a whole lot like the previous one, with the notable exception of a conspicuous rock. Unfortunately, Realm didn't know if this rock meant anything, and, deciding it probably didn't matter anyways, chose another random direction and walked.

This went on for about five more minutes, during which Realm went through a numerous amount of oddly identical clearings, spun in circles, chose random directions, and found more oddly identical clearings. He had absolutely no idea where he was going anymore, but since this was a fairly normal thing for him he wasn't all that concerned. He saved concern for the three-month mark, when he would run out of replacement shields and into a horde of Like-Likes.

He'd lost count of how many times that had happened.

So with that mindset, Realm walked through yet another log – and was met with a green-haired girl playing an ocarina.

"...That's new," Realm decided.

The green-haired girl paused at the sound of his voice and looked up. "Oh, hello," she said, smiling. "I've never seen you before... how did you get here?"

"I legitimately don't know," Realm told her. "I was with some friends and I think I lost them somewhere... we were looking for someone named Saria?"

"That's me," the girl – Saria – said. "Why were you looking for me?"

"Well, my friend, Oca- er, Link-"

"You know Link?" Saria exclaimed. "Oh, I bet he met you outside the forest, that's so exciting! Wait, this means he's back doesn't it?"

"Yeah," Realm said. "And I should probably go tell him I found you. Wait here a minute, I should only be about six hours or so."

With that, he turned around and left, leaving Saria slightly confused as she processed his words.

* * *

"Where could he have gone?" Ocarina complained. "The Lost Woods are only so big, he can't possibly be lost forever!"

"We should probably keep looking though," Dusk said. "You know him, the odds of him finding us are astronomical. We're much better off looking ourselves."

"True," Ocarina agreed, leading the way through the next fallen log.

Five minutes later, a very lost and confused Realm wandered through the same clearing, randomly taking whichever log was in front of him. Two logs later found him back in the clearing with Saria, with absolutely no idea how he'd done it and a blatant lack of anybody with him.

"Er... did you find them?" Saria asked politely.

"Nope," Realm said, staring at her. "How did I get here?"

"You came through the entrance," Saria said helpfully.

"I know that," Realm said absently. "I mean, how did I _get_ here? I wasn't even trying..."

"Maybe it was a fluke?" Saria suggested.

"Yeah! Maybe I'm getting better!" Realm agreed enthusiastically. "I'm gonna try to find the guys again. Wish me luck!"

He turned and plunged back into the Woods before Saria could respond, leaving her to shrug in confusion and resume playing her ocarina.

* * *

Realm quickly discovered that he seemed completely incapable of finding anybody but Saria. No matter which way he went, sooner or later he always ended up back in her clearing. The most notable example was Attempt Number Twelve, which had lasted approximately seventeen seconds and three clearings before Realm ended up right back where he'd started. He was honestly beginning to get annoyed; being lost was something he was used to, he even considered it normal. This was not his usual way of getting lost. This was somehow ending up at the solution whether he wanted to or not.

Saria, for her part, had stopped greeting Realm around the twentieth try and simply watched him go in and out. She even started playing a game with herself, trying to guess how long it would be before he came back this time.

The main group of Links, on the other hand, were systematically attempting to search every clearing in the Woods to find Realm. Unfortunately, due to Realm's misdirectional capabilities, this more often than not resulted in them missing him by mere minutes. Eventually, Ocarina just resigned himself to the inevitable and led them all to Saria's place.

"He'll either end up here or back at the entrance," Ocarina said tiredly. "Eventually."

So the Links, holding their toddlers in one arm and their small children in the other, trudged through the last log and into the clearing Saria was sitting in.

"Link!" Saria said, happily. "Did your friend find you?"

Ocarina paused. "...what friend?"

"Well, he had brown hair and a green tunic, and he seemed a bit confused. I think he might be conflicting with the Lost Woods' magic," she confided. "He keeps ending up back here."

"...You're kidding me," Ocarina said numbly.

At that point, Realm walked through the log, saw Saria, and groaned to himself.

"There's something wrong with me, I swear," he muttered, turning – and stopping, as he caught sight of the group.

"Hey guys!" he greeted, bad mood dissipating instantly. "When'd you get here?"

"About thirty seconds ago," Gen said slowly. "When did _you_ get here?"

Realm thought about that. "Well... the last time I was here was about three minutes ago. Then I was here about seven minutes before that, then two minutes before that, thirty seconds before _that, _five minutes before _that_, one minute before-"

"We get it," Lore interrupted. "New question. How many times have you gotten here?"

Realm took a minute to think about _that_. "Umm... thirty or so? More?"

"Thirty-seven," Saria supplied.

"I _tried_ to find you guys, but I kept ending up back here," Realm complained. "It got kind of annoying..."

"Every time I think I've got you figured out," Dusk sighed.

"Er... Link," Saria said, now getting a good look at the multitude of boys standing in front of her. "Why are there so many of you?"

Ocarina exchanged a glance with Navi, who fluttered forward a few feet.

"You'll want to be sitting down for this one," she advised.

* * *

"...And that's the general gist," Ocarina finished. He'd left out the complicated bits like the time travel and the future knowledge and stuck with the only-slightly-less-complicated explanation of, 'they're all me from another dimension'. And to her credit, Saria took it surprisingly well.

"We used to live under the direction of a giant talking tree," she said, shrugging. "The world is weird."

"Agreed," Ocarina said fervently. "But aside from that... we need your help. The guys and I need a place to stay until we can move on and this was the only place I could think of, but Mido..."

"Say no more," Saria said firmly. "I've been meaning to find a good reason to tell him off anyways. He's gotten a bit too big for his own britches since he took the job of 'Forest Protector' onto himself. Apparently, there was only one person fit for the position now that the Great Deku Tree was gone, and guess who that was?"

"How bad can it be?" Navi asked diplomatically.

"Remember how he used to guard the entrance to the Great Deku Tree? Well, now he does it to _all_ the exits. And he's even more fanatical about it."

"...Okay, yeah, that's pretty bad," Navi agreed,

"That's why I was up so early," Saria explained, standing up and leading the way out into the Woods. "If I want any sort of alone time at all, I have to beat Mido to the punch. Trying to leave while he's awake is a nightmare."

"If he's really this bad, why haven't you confronted him about it before?" Ocarina asked.

"I was hoping it was a phase..."

* * *

Sure enough, Mido was waiting at the exit to the Lost Woods and immediately demanded to know when, where, how, and why they'd managed to get past him. Then he caught sight of Ocarina and immediately abandoned his previous questions in favor of demanding to know when the Fairyless had gotten back and _why_ nobody had told him, the Forest Protector, about it. _Then_ he noticed the rest of the Links and moved to demanding to know why there were strangers in the Village, who had thought it was a good idea to let strangers in, why all the strangers looked like Fairyless, and _what_ was Fairyless doing back anyways, he was banished for killing the Great Deku Tree! And from the looks of things, Mido would have just kept going.

If Saria hadn't unleashed her wrath, that is.

If there was one thing she couldn't stand, it was somebody picking on Link. And Mido, unfortunately for him, had just done so. Saria started with the classic 'How _dare_ you blame Link for something he clearly didn't do!', moved on to, 'These people are Link's friends and if he wants to show them his home he has every right!', used that to segue into 'I can't _believe _how you treat the people around you!', and ended with 'And you need to stop being such a stuck-up brat or else nobody is going to like you!' before getting right into the actual duties of the 'Forest Protector' title and thoroughly informing Mido of what he was and wasn't doing and how _poorly_ his behavior was reflecting on the Great Deku Tree, who was probably rolling in his compost at this very moment.

At the end of it, Mido was understandably shell-shocked. So were the Links.

"...Oh dear, I overdid that didn't I," Saria said, blushing. "I'm sorry. How about we all just go home and have some tea?"

"Tea sounds nice," Dusk agreed vaguely.

Everyone went and had some tea.

* * *

Afterwards...

"How was that?" Saria asked, smiling. "Good enough of a distraction?"

"Great distraction," Ocarina told her. "We're grateful, really."

Saria gave him a resigned look. "When are you leaving?"

Ocarina did a spit take with his tea, which he'd actually been quite enjoying up until that exact moment. "How-?"

"I'm your best childhood friend, I can read you like a book," Saria said. "Also, your loud friend over there has been 'subtly' complaining about it for the past fifteen minutes.

Ocarina sighed. "Thanks Lore."

"You're welcome!"

"Yeah... probably within the next fifteen minutes or so," Ocarina admitted. "We really just needed a place to spend the night, and possibly any coming nights, and you just took care of all that for us. Thanks for that, by the way."

"He had it coming," Saria said by way of acceptance. "Do you know when you'll be back?"

Ocarina opened his mouth, frowned, then leaned down to whisper in Mask's ear. Mask gave a grinning eye-roll and whispered something back, at which point Ocarina stood up and said," Next week."

Saria blinked. "Really? I was expecting something longer..."

"Mask... er... can see the future."

"We'll – I mean, _he'll_ be back right after we fikth the Univerthe," Mask added. "That tranthlateth to nektht week becauthe Time Travel."

"Wait, what?"

"Nothing..."

"The world is weird, just go with it," Ocarina told her, knowingly repeating her words from earlier. "And thanks. Again."

"Good luck with whatever it is you're doing," Saria responded, looking mildly confused but clearly accepting the situation. "Oh, but before you go, you might want to find your lost friend."

"You mean Realm?" Ocarina clarified. "He's not lost, he's over with the rest of the group, right... over... there..."

The three children looked over to see Wind with an absolutely dumbfounded look on his face, Dusk heaving a resigned sigh, Gen facepalming, and Shadow shrugging cheerfully and saying, "I think he was going to get a drink or something..."

"...Dangit," Ocarina muttered.

* * *

"...This is not where I was trying to go," Realm decided.

He was, somehow, in the middle of the Lost Woods, in exactly the spot that Saria had been sitting. Realm frowned, turned, and marched back out with a determined stride and a goal in his head – and six minutes later, found himself right back in the exact same clearing.

"Okay, seriously?" Realm asked the trees, not that they gave him an answer. "I'm trying to leave!"

He stalked back into the forest and deliberately went as straight as he possibly could – and still found himself back in that same clearing, albeit with the notable difference of three extra minutes.

"There's nothing here to find!" Realm yelled to the air. "Why won't you let me leave?"

He received nothing verbal in response, but he got the distinct impression that the forest was just as confused as he was.

* * *

_'You want me to do what, exactly?'_

_'Send me back seven years to where I have set a trap for the little Heroes. I would do it myself, but... well, the local means do not particularly take kindly to me.'_

Demise thought this statement over for a minute.

_'You seem significantly more prepared for your confrontation than some... others I could think of.'_

_'He means me!'_ Zant chipped in suddenly. _'I was an absolutely terrible planner! Didn't factor in anything, just wanted to wear Peahats!'_

_'__**SHUT UP, ZANT,**__' _All the other villains in Demise's head suddenly chorused.

_'All of you, ZIP IT!' _Demise bellowed. _'I am trying to have a strategy session with one of the few incarnations who __hasn't__ failed yet, and you are getting in my way!'_

_'...Having trouble, are we?'_

_'Not one word, you oversized piece of discolored pork. You haven't succeeded in doing anything yet, and until you do I have zero obligations to you. I am, however, willing to grant your request as it seems you have actually thought things through, though it shocks me. Seven years, you said?'_

_'That is correct.'_

_'Consider it done. Though I must ask, what do you plan on doing with your previous self? The 'local methods' as you put it, work differently from my abilities, and I do not think the you of the past will take kindly to another him... if my recent experience in the situation is anything to judge by.'_

There was a rumbling of general agreement from the rest of the assorted villains. While they tolerated each other out of the fact that none of them could leave, Twilight Ganondorf still thought Hyrule Ganon was an imbecile, Lorule Ganon was a simpleton, Original Ganon was... forgettable, Oracle Ganon was primitive, and Ocean Ganondorf was a wimp. Of course, they all thought the same thing about him, so... it all balanced out.

_'Let's just say that I have a very large rock and some... anger issues to work out.'_

Demise let out a chuckle. _'Have fun with that. Void opening... now.'_

* * *

Forty minutes later, the Links had retrieved Realm from the Lost Woods _again_, and after thanking Saria one last time, gathered all their toddlers and set out for Hyrule again. Luckily, Mask and Ocarina knew where Ganondorf was _supposed _to be; Hyrule Castle, masquerading as a trustworthy advisor to the King. And as such, the Links had a destination.

The journey itself, since it was taking place during the day and was thus not filled with the swarming of Stalchildren, was largely uneventful. Realm only got lost in the Hyrule Field once, which was normal. Shadow did something concerning, which was also normal. And Ocarina and Mask, upon seeing a very large owl, simultaneously shot it down with their slingshots while Navi shoved a Deku Nut into it's beak. All three of them proceeded to completely ignore bird's attempts to communicate and marched the rest of the group past with the advice of, "Don't make eye contact and we might yet escape with our sanity."

This was not normal, as far as everyone but Shadow was concerned. But the nearly identical look of annoyance-terror on the Hero(es) of Time and their fairy's faces were enough to convince the group that, yes, this owl was in fact worth the reaction.

Aside from that though... uneventful.

However, this was immediately turned upside down when the Links finally reached the Castle Town and discovered everybody running and screaming. The cause for this was immediately apparent, as there were _two_ Ganondorfs duking it out with each other in the middle of the square.

One of them was holding a very large rock. He also seemed to be significantly angrier.

"...Does this make sense to anybody else?" Gen asked slowly.

"Nope," the rest of the group chorused.

"Right. Just checking."

Both Ganondorfs glanced up at their voices, and the Links found themselves on the receiving end of two extremely hateful glares. Then the one with the rock took advantage of the distraction and whacked his counterpart upside the head with said rock, knocking him out cold.

"Thank you," the conscious one said genially, lowering the rock. "He wasn't too keen on listening to my explanation, and it's surprisingly hard to fight yourself, I've discovered. I suppose I ought to congratulate you on that point, what with your success in the Water Temple and all."

At the mention of that, Shadow erupted into a mass of very pointy pokey things... and four safely-swaddled toddlers. "That's him," he growled. "Oh, that's _definitely_ him."

"Shadow," Dusk warned.

"I know!" Shadow snapped. "Now's not a good time, we've been through this. I'm just saying it's actually him this time. Not a projection or anything."

"Both of me are me," Ganondorf explained badly. "But for your purposes... I am the one who lured you into the Temple and caused the state you are in now. _That _me," he pointed to the one on the ground, "hasn't done so as of yet."

He frowned in thought, then waved a hand and spawned an impenetrable forcefield around the Ganondorf that was out cold.

"Well I have to keep track of him somehow," he explained to the Links. "Can't have me running off and causing problems... I might ruin all my carefully laid plans."

His somewhat-friendly smile turned terrifying. "And oh, the plans I have for _you, little heroes._"

"I'm thinking," Dusk remarked casually, "that we should consider a tactical retreat. All in favor?"

"Heroes don't retreat, that's dishonorable!" Gen argued. Dusk gave him a flat look and pointed at Hyrule Ganondorf with his free hand. Said villain was now spinning a magic projectile and building up to a properly dramatic evil laugh. Dusk then made a sweeping motion at the group, most of whom were far too young to have the arm strength necessary to hold a sword, much less fight with it. He ended with a raised eyebrow and a silently shouted _'Really?' _

"...Although this situation may call for an exception," Gen admitted.

"Just do what I do," Lore said cheerfully. "Live in denial. We're not retreating, we're advancing in a different direction!"

"Then let's advance that way," Ocarina said hastily, pointing in the opposite direction of Ganondorf.

And everyone sprinted.

* * *

**Ganondorf fight next. And I've managed to write myself into a situation where over half the Links are too young to fight.**

**...Oh well, the opportunity was far too good to pass up anyways. Here's hoping I can do it justice.**

**Aside from that, Navi woke up, and Realm got lost. Kinda filler-y, but you would not BELIEVE how many requests for Realm-in-the-Lost-Woods I got. After a fan response like that, I kinda had to make it happen.**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to WisteriaEmu, Ataxian Kaos, GodlyShipper, AnimeandGameFanGirl, abbydobbie, TheLastSonOfPluto, King Dave of Blingees, and Hybrid-Destroyer for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**Rockster: I apologize in advance for the length of this response. Now... Ocarina is specifically stated to be sixteen on OoT, I checked. I generally consider Mask to be twelve, giving him a few years in between adventures. I'm aware Realm has a bit of a plot hole, but it's my general opinion that his directional sense is so bad that it's taken him a couple years to get to where he is now, being fourteen. The only clue I had for Wind was a 'Coming of Age' ceremony in Wind Waker, which I interpreted to mean 'Becoming a teenager' I then added a year for the Phantom Hourglass, making him thirteen. Lore... I just assumed he was sixteen. It seemed like a logical conclusion given his 4+ adventures. Dusk was specifically stated to be seventeen during TP, I checked that too. Same for Gen, which I also checked. Since Steam only had one adventure as opposed to Wind's two, and it seemed that the country was still operating on the 'Coming of Age' thing, I assumed that made him twelve. Sketch... general opinion seems to say fourteen. And Shadow... well, Shadow's more-or-less a few centuries old by now, but he's a free shapeshifter so it doesn't even matter. / And of course you can vote for your Link, why wouldn't you be able to? And yes, Shadow's an option. / Well, I actually think pure Grass Types are kind of glass cannons, but lately the other choices have been... less than stellar. So Grass I choose.**

**The has-been who never will-be: I'm fine, thank you for asking. / I think they went pretty well. I know I've at least passed the classes :) / I actually don't like soda. Can't stand the carbonation. Can I be sweet tea instead? / Ha! Because he's a boar... and Link's a wolf... that ****_is_**** amusing. / And yes, I actually have read Wolves of the Beyond, but only to about the third book or so because I couldn't access the library for a while. I did, however read all of Laskey's previous series, the Guardians of Ga'Hoole.**

**Chariot's Cave: Okay... I've got a couple guesses. LordOfGaming, or Talon? And if none of those are right... then I'm clearly terrible at this game.**

**Guest: The fact that you're trying to convince me has actually convinced me to make Koholint into a plot point for the sequel. Well, that and the fact that you're not the first person to ask, by any means. **

**Zyrex: You don't think the Great Fairy joke is overdone? I mean, I could give it a shot, but I don't know how I would make their freakout stand out from all the other freakouts. / And of course you can give your opinion. Reader suggestions are welcomed and occasionally incorporated!**


	52. Chapter 51

**This has been a good month for fandoms. Sun and Moon starters, LoZ title release... You all have no idea how stoked I am for the coming games.**

**Oh, and before I forget: I do not own the Legend of Zelda.**

* * *

The thing about being seven years younger, the Links discovered, was that running was a lot different. For one thing, their legs were _far_ shorter than normal. For another, their stride was just as diminished, and it made their gaits a lot choppier.

That, combined with the fact that they were all carrying toddlers, made the 'Retreat' tactic a lot less viable than it used to be. This was made abundantly clear by the fact that Ganondorf was keeping pace with them quite easily... by trotting.

"...This isn't going to work, is it?" Gen observed.

"Not in the slightest," Ganondorf informed him.

"Alright... new plan. Lore, do your thing!"

"I was hoping you'd say that!" Lore beamed. He then proceeded to, somehow, whip out the Rod of Seasons with only one hand and utterly coat Ganondorf in three feet of ice.

Granted, it immediately began melting because Ganondorf started channeling his magic, but it was still a breather, and darnit the Links were going to make the most of it!

"Okay guys, clearly running isn't going to be an option this time," Gen continued. "Ocarina, any ideas? You know the layout here."

Ocarina frowned, thinking. Normally this would be when he conferred with Mask, but since his younger-but-older self was five... This was going to take some thinking.

They weren't all that far outside the Castle Town, since they hadn't been able to run very far at all. In fact, they'd actually gone in the opposite direction they'd come from and were on the path to the Castle itself.

And this gave Ocarina an idea.

"We can't fight with only one arm each," he decided. "Sorry guys, but anybody under six is gonna have to sit this one out."

The younger Links frowned in annoyance, but nobody argued. It was an infuriating, but truthful statement.

"But we can't just sit you around someplace random," Ocarina continued. "Not everybody is old enough to be able to defend themselves competently. So we're going to pay a visit to somebody who could probably scare Demise himself."

Mask abruptly turned pale and facepalmed himself heavily.

"Exactly," Ocarina agreed. "Brace yourselves everyone, we're going to see the Great Fairy."

* * *

"...Exactly why is the Great Fairy a bad thing?" Dusk asked as everyone followed Ocarina. "I met some back in my Hyrule and they weren't bad at all. A little lacking in clothes, maybe, but other than that..."

"You'll see," Ocarina shuddered. "Right about... now, actually. Through the tunnel, everybody. Oh, and... please try to scream internally."

This statement received a lot of confused blinks from everyone but Mask, who nodded morosely, and Shadow, who just didn't care. Ocarina then led the group through the rock and into a large cave, with a wide, but shallow pool in the middle and decorative stonework on the walls. Unfortunately, nobody got to admire it because within seconds of their arrival, an ear-grating laugh sounded and an oversized woman with freakishly bright hair and a _very_ questionable outfit spun up out of the water. Her nose was abnormally pointy and she was wearing far too much eyeshadow, giving her the impression that she was about to go for your throat.

And on top of everything else, she floated in midair as though gravity didn't exist and used it to look down her very pointy nose at the Links with a smile that might possibly be mistaken as flirtatious, of all things.

Dusk blinked once, gave the Great Fairy a thorough once-over, and said, "Alright, I see what you were getting at."

Lore, on the other hand, outright gaped at the woman and gasped, "You are _FANTASTIC! _You have _got_ to show me how to do that! I mean, I consider myself fairly competent in the art of freaking people out, but YOU! You're a _MASTER!" _He took two steps forward and threw himself face-first on the ground in a prone position. "TEACH ME!"

Ocarina and Mask were using their tried-and-true method of not-quite-looking at the Fairy, instead staring at a point just past her ear. Shadow gave her a casual glance, raised an eyebrow, and shrugged.

"I don't see what all the fuss is about," he said.

Everyone else... well, they reacted in the usual fashion of people who meet the Great Fairy for the first time. But they did it internally, since Ocarina _had_ warned them a few minutes before.

It went something like this.

_'SWEET DIN WHAT IN THE NAME OF NAYRU IS THAT MOSTROSITY?! KILL IT WITH FIRE!'_

Yet for some reason, the Great Fairy seemed oblivious to the reactions she was garnering and, flipping herself over onto her stomach (in midair), said, "Welcome, travelers. What brings you to my Fountain?"

"We need your help," Ocarina said, still staring past her ear. "Can you watch our little brothers while we go take care of some... things?"

"You're leaving us with _her?!_" Sketch protested.

"Well, can you hold your sword?"

Sketch turned red as he remembered how he'd fallen over when he tried to draw his weapon. "...No..."

Ocarina gave him a sympathetic smile. "Then we can't risk it. Sorry."

"Are we sure they won't alternatively take damage from... other sources?" Gen questioned.

"Look, she may be creepy as all get out, but the Great Fairy is actually one of the strongest sources of light magic around. If there's any place safer than in here... actually, I don't know of any place safer than in here."

Abruptly proving his point, Ganondorf burst through the entrance to the Fountain, accidentally made eye contact with the Great Fairy, and bellowed, "WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS EVIL IS _THAT THING!?" _He then proceeded to frantically cover his eyes and awkwardly backed out of the room entirely, muttering defensive spells and wards against demons as he did so.

"...That's new," Realm said. "I think I believe you now."

"_Please_ don't leave us alone with her," Sketch pleaded.

"Geez, if it matters that much..." Ocarina frowned as he thought. "Okay, Navi will stay with you."

At the sound of her name, Navi let out an indignant bell noise. "Excuse me? I'm two inches tall and my only appendages are wings. I can barely take care of _one_ Link, much less multiples! Not to mention the fact that _you're all toddlers!" _

"You'll be fine," Ocarina told her flippantly. "Now everybody who _can_ hold their sword properly... we're going back out."

"This is going to suck _significantly_ more than usual," Realm decided. "And that's saying something, since last time I got stung in the leg."

"And we're shorter, weaker, and slower," Gen added. "And over half our ranks are forced to sit out. And he's clearly planned all this out. And-"

Dusk rolled his eyes and gave Gen a thump upside the head, promptly shutting the boy up.

"Thank you," Ocarina told him. Gen tugged on his bangs awkwardly and did his best to look apologetic.

"So to clarify," Shadow spoke up, "You, Gen, Dusk, Realm, and me are the only people who are capable of fighting Ganondorf right now? That's what we're getting at?"

"Pretty much," Ocarina replied. "Go nuts, man."

"Oh, I _plan_ to."

"Let's just get this over with before we all start to seriously regret it," Dusk sighed, leading the way back out of the Fountain.

For a minute, the only sound was the breathing of the toddler-Links and the quiet splashing of the Fountain water. Then the Great Fairy shifted her midair pose and said, "I do hope you don't mind my saying so, but you all are rather adorable. May I cuddle you?"

The Four let out simultaneous whimpers.

* * *

The Fighting Group, which since it only consisted of about six people really couldn't be considered as such, stepped out the entrance to the Fountain and were immediately bombarded by several magic spheres from a highly infuriated Ganondorf.

"So the little Heroes hide with monstrosities, do they?" Ganondorf sneered. "How low you've stooped."

"She's not a monstrosity!" Ocarina snapped. "She's just... umm... she's... uhh... guys, help me out here."

"Freakish," Gen offered.

"Terrifying," Realm said.

"Inspirational!" Lore exclaimed.

"She seemed pretty normal to me," Shadow said.

"...Unique," Dusk decided after a moment of thought.

"Oh, that's good, I'll use that. She's unique!"

"Uniquely an abomination to the eyes," Ganondorf corrected. "And as much as I normally appreciate a good tactical move, this particular move annoys me. Intensely. And unfortunately for you, you boys happen to be the only living things in sight. Allow me to take out my frustrations!"

With that, he blasted more magical spheres at the five Links below him. Shadow didn't bother dodging, instead just warping his body around the projectile and letting it crash into the ground behind him. Ocarina and Realm leapt out of the way, while Dusk took the attack with his shield.

Gen, on the other hand, saw the attack coming and immediately flashed back to the fight with Veran. He pulled out his Bug Net almost on reflex and sent it right back at Ganondorf – who hit it straight back, but aimed at Realm instead. Not expecting that, Realm was sent skidding across the ground with the energy from the attack crackling on his limbs.

"...ow..."

"No, that's good!" Ocarina called. "We need to hit it back but we _all_ need to watch for it!"

"Yeah, that might not last very long," Gen informed him. "My arms kinda hurt after bouncing that back... I'm not sure how many times we can do that."

"Trying will get us farther than not," Dusk said firmly, and unsheathed his sword, holding it out steadily in front of him – mostly. The tip wobbled a little because Dusk was no longer strong enough to support all it's weight. Ganondorf eyed them all and chuckled.

"You boys amuse me," he decided, and shot more energy spheres at them.

* * *

"Thith ith infuriating," Mask fumed, pacing back and forth and very carefully avoiding looking up. "We're utheleth! Worthe than utheleth!"

"Can't argue with that," Wind agreed mournfully, bouncing the Four on his knees. This was being done with great skill and balancing proficiency.

"Hate this," Sketch muttered, and readjusted Speck in his arms.

"What, you'd all rather be out there getting your butts kicked?" Navi snapped.

_"_**_YES!_**_"_

Navi flickered in the fairy approximation of blinking for a brief moment. "Well... too bad! I'm responsible for all you until the rest of you get back, and – Watch Out!"

Mask yelped and quickly snatched Blue away from the Fountain edge, as he'd been about to fall in headfirst. "Don't _do_ that!" He scolded. Blue made an apologetic face.

"You see? You'd all be doomed without me," Navi stressed. "I'm not about to let you go out there and get yourselves killed – are you listening to me?"

"Not really," Sketch mumbled dejectedly.

"At least we'd be helping!" Wind burst out, somewhat uncharacteristically. "I know we wouldn't be much help, but... it'd be better than sitting here and waiting..."

"I'm trying to-" Navi started.

Mask set Blue down next to his three counterparts and kicked at some pebbles on the floor. "I just wish... that there wath thomething we could do..." He frowned for a minute, thinking.

"We could try and be a distraction?" Wind suggested.

"Don't you dare-" Navi tried.

"How would we distract someone like Ganondorf though?" Sketch asked. "He planned all this out extensively, he hardly seems like the type of man to lose focus just because of some kids with a Cucco or whatever."

"I forbid you to-"

"I've got an idea!" Mask blurted suddenly. "I think we all know a guy who can help..." So saying, he held up the Fierce Deity in his left hand and grinned.

"...You think?" Sketch asked, eyeing it. "What if he turns out to be your size? I mean, since he uses your body as a host and all."

"But remember the first time?" Wind said. "Mask grew, like, three feet. Oni uses his own measurements."

"What are you-"

"That's true," Sketch conceded. "You're right, Mask, that might actually work."

"Won't hurt to try," Mask replied, raising the... mask to his face and-

"**HEY! LISTEN!**" Navi bellowed at the top of her fairy lungs. "WILL SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT'S GOING ON!?"

"I'm going to put thith on my fathe and thee if a friend would be willing to lend uth a hand," Mask explained in a spectacularly unexplanatory manner.

"And then you expect to walk out of this Fountain and into that fight, correct?" Navi asked dangerously.

"Well... yeah. Pretty much."

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Navi exploded. "LINK PUT ME IN CHARGE AND AS THE RESPONSIBLE ADULT I **REFUSE** TO ALLOW YOU TO KILL YOURSELVES!"

"We won't be," Mask told her. "Oni'th a bit too protective for that."

With that, he slapped the mask onto his face and dropped to the floor, completely unconscious. Navi stared at him blankly.

"...What."

"Give him a minute," Wind said helpfully. "That's pretty normal."

"...He had better have an _excellent_ reason once he wakes up," Navi seethed.

* * *

Mask materialized in the white void of the Fierce Deity mask – only to blink as he realized that things weren't as white as they used to be. This was evidenced by the fact that there was a (actually rather tasteful) set of furniture, as well as some artfully placed walls that were all colored a pale gray, with slightly darker gray accents. Sitting on one of the chairs was Oni, reading a pale gray book with letters on the cover that Mask couldn't read.

And at that point, he noticed that he was no longer five, but was in fact twelve just like the very first time he'd met the Original Link.

At his confused gasp, Oni looked up from his book and gave Mask a reserved but fond smile.

_"Welcome back. What brings you here?"_

Mask, who was still caught a bit off guard, blurted out the first thing in his head. "You redecorated."

Oni nodded. _"I took... Lore? Yes, that was his designation; I took his advice about some color in here. And I must say, it makes finding everything so much easier. I really ought to have implemented something like this sooner... But I doubt that was your only reason for coming?"_

Mask finished reacquainting himself with his usual size and gave Oni his full attention. "I know what you said about us needing to fight our own battles, but... we could really use your help."

Oni's face took on a contemplative expression. _"Continue."_

Mask took a deep breath, opened his mouth, and told his ancestor everything that had happened over the past few days. As he did, Oni's face got less and less contemplative and more and more serious. By the time Mask was done, Oni could have glared a hole straight through solid metal if eye-beams were a thing.

"...And that's why we could use your help," Mask finished. "I normally wouldn't ask, but only five of us can even hold our swords, and Ganondorf... he doesn't mess around. I... I really don't want to lose them... you know?"

_"So you ask for their sake,"_ Oni observed.

"Yeah... I guess you could say it that way."

Oni's blank eyes narrowed. _"Then by all means, point me in the right direction."_

Mask blinked for a moment before a massive grin split his face. "Really!? You mean it?"

_"Let me explain further to avoid any unnecessary disappointment," _Oni interrupted. _"I stand by what I have said before. These are your fights, not mine. You must prove yourselves. But I can see your determination to help, and I know that your counterparts feel the same. So I will compromise with you. I will protect you and your kin, those who cannot currently defend themselves, so that you may help your fighting brothers take down your foe. I will not engage this 'Ganondorf' myself, understand?"_

"Understood," Mask agreed. Really, it was a lot more than he thought he would get from Oni, who was an avid believer that one should earn their victories themselves. "Thanks though, seriously."

_"It is my pleasure," _Oni assured him. _"Besides, you say this man intends to kill you."_

His eyes turned hard, the kind of white that makes you shiver. _"I do _not_ take kindly to those who would end my legacy."_

Once again, Mask was distinctly grateful that Oni was on his side. He had the impression that, although the Original Link took most things in stride, the one thing you could do to tick him off was attempt to kill his descendents. If the Majora fight was anything to judge by, he took things like that _extremely_ personally. And then killed them very violently.

"Now I know where Dusk gets it from," Mask muttered.

* * *

Navi gaped as the distinctly taller, paler, and altogether far more intimidating man stood up from where Mask had fallen and surveyed the situation.

_"...You all make rather cute children,"_ Oni decided.

"Don't you start too," Sketch grumbled. "Did Mask fill you in?"

_"He did. And I will explain to you what I did to him: I am not here to fight your battles, merely to protect you while you cannot do it yourselves."_

"That's... actually going to help a ton," Wind said. "Thanks."

"Who the heck is this guy!?" Navi sputtered.

"Navi, this is Oni," Sketch supplied. "Oni, this is Navi. Any questions?"

"YES! Who is he, what happened to your friend, how a mask did _that_, whether he's dangerous, and a thousand other important things!" Navi shouted.

_"...Is she always that uptight?"_

"I AM NOT UPTIGHT!"

"Dunno, we only met her yesterday," Sketch shrugged. "Mask would know."

Oni inclined his head and listened to something for a moment before nodding. _"I see."_

"Seriously, who are you, and _what_ is going on?" Navi demanded.

_"I am the First,"_ Oni replied calmly. _"And I am here to protect my legacy."_

"...What!?"

"We're him, he's us, it's a very long story and we'll explain later," Wind told her. "Can we please go now? The Great Fairy is kinda freaking me out."

Oni raised an eyebrow, then slowly tilted his head up and looked at the floating woman for a few seconds.

_"...Did you do something with your hair?"_ He asked at length.

The Great Fairy let out a high-pitched giggle. "Oh, I'm so glad someone noticed! I actually had my edges trimmed last week... I'm sorry, have we met before?"

Oni carefully looked her up and down. _"I can safely say I have never seen you before in my life, my lady."_

"Oh, that's alright," the Fairy replied cheerfully. "We can get to know each other now, if you'd like."

_"...Descendants?"_ Oni said quietly.

"Yeah?"

_"I believe we should all turn around and exit. This woman is quite clearly a amnesiac demon in disguise. Avoiding eye contact is highly advised, especially if combined with acting as though nothing is wrong and taking our leave. Please follow me."_

Aside from Navi, who was immune to the Great Fairy's side effects due to being of the same species, everyone obeyed the Original Link without question and calmly filed out the door. Navi, for her part, sputtered in confusion, and after giving the Great Fairy a helpless shrug, followed her charges out the door while yelling safety warnings in a shrill tone.

"Shame," the Great Fairy mused to herself, sinking back into the Fountain. "They were all so adorable too."

* * *

Upon seeing that the Links had developed a counter to his energy spheres, Ganondorf promptly developed a counter to the counter. This was mainly accomplished by rapid-firing more spheres than the Links could keep track of, and resulted in a lot of hits.

Lore went sliding across the dirt for the eighth time and _thump_ed to a stop against a large rock.

"That one hurt," he said, wincing and rubbing his shoulder. A few feet away, Gen took an attack to the stomach and doubled over wheezing, while Realm swung frantically to knock back all the orbs heading for him. He managed to keep it up for about six attacks before the seventh, eighth, and ninth ones all ganged up on him at once and sent him tumbling. Dusk was grimly taking shot after shot with his Bow from a considerable distance away, although it regrettably wasn't doing much. And Ocarina... was panicking.

Basically, what it all boiled down to was that Mask was the one who had fought this fight before. Ocarina hadn't been there yet. And as a result, he had absolutely no idea what he was doing. Weaknesses, strengths, nothing. It didn't help either that Vio, the resident strategist, was currently four.

And it _definitely_ didn't help that Ganondorf was kicking their butts. Effortlessly.

And where the _heck _was Shadow?

This question was abruptly answered as Shadow blurred out of the insignificant shade under a rock and materialized with his sword held against Ganondorf's neck. Ganondorf turned his head every so slightly and stared down his nose at his creation. Shadow matched this with the strongest Death Glare he had, doing his absolute best to inflict mortal bodily harm with his eyes. Unfortunately, ocular laser beams were not one of the abilities Shadow possessed, so nothing actually happened, but it still made the dark Link feel better.

"Explain to me what you're doing outside the Temple," Ganondorf said shortly. "I set you there to stop the Hero – not that you succeeded in that – and it was designed as a permanent trap."

Shadow did his level best to glare daggers. "I know," he hissed. "I spent _centuries_ stuck in that hole. And you know what? None of it did _anything_ to improve my opinion of the self-serving stuck-up arrogant lying manipulative filthy-excuse-for-a-man _swine_ WHO LEFT ME THERE!"

"Temper," Ganondorf chided. "You'll lose your focus with that kind of fury."

"The only thing getting lost around here is your head," Shadow snarled, and made to jerk his weapon – only to get blindsided by the magic sphere Ganondorf had been charging while the conversation had been going on. The impact knocked Shadow back a considerable distance, sliding to a halt next to Ocarina.

"...I hate him," Shadow growled – literally. "I am going to take great pleasure in hacking off his limbs and watching his life blood drain from his stomach."

"Dude," Lore said, grimacing. "I did _not_ need that much detail."

The look Shadow gave him very clearly said,_ 'Do I __**look**__ like I care!?' _Lore held up his hands in the universal 'Don't shoot me' pose.

"I'm going back in," Shadow said shortly. "Don't get in my way, and I won't accidentally slice you in half. You've been warned."

With that, he flashed into motion and began a complicated battle-dance consisting of swordplay and lots of projectiles from his opponent.

"We're aware he's the only one capable of doing any real damage, right?" Dusk clarified, stowing his Bow and joining the other four Links.

"Unfortunately," Gen groaned. "It's official. I hate being ten."

"I'm sure you liked it when you actually _were_ ten," Realm pointed out.

"That was seven years ago. I'm over it."

"QUIT DODGING!" Shadow screeched suddenly.

"I like my head where it is, thank you," Ganondorf said.

"I DON'T CARE!"

"Does he seem angrier to anybody else?" Lore asked redundantly. Gen gave him a dry look.

"Gee," he said, deadpan. "I wonder what could have _possibly_ given you that idea."

At that moment, Shadow went skidding backwards as Ganondorf blasted him with projectiles and gave the remaining Links one of his patented Annoyed Stares.

"Are you guys going to help or am I going to have to rip out his organs myself?" Shadow asked crankily.

"You can have the organs, but other than that, I'm in," Realm said, shuddering. Shadow snorted amusedly, and all six Links sprinted forwards in a disorganized huddle. Unfortunately for them, Ganondorf chose that moment for target practice and nailed half of them with his magic, leaving Lore, Ocarina, and Shadow (who was too stubborn to notice something like getting hit) in range. But before they could get any closer, Ganondorf jumped up into the air-

And stayed there.

"How is that fair!?" Lore complained, gesturing wildly at the now-floating villain.

"I _**hate **_him," Shadow snarled.

Ocarina just stared blankly and dearly wished Mask had been around to warn him about this.

"My apologies, but I felt that events were becoming... stale," Ganondorf said, smiling insincerely. "Higher ground makes things so much more interesting."

"...This is going to get exponentially more painful, isn't it," Gen observed.

Ganondorf gave everyone a disturbing grin and shot rapid-fire projectiles at anything that moved.

* * *

Since Ganondorf was now solidly out of reach, the Links – mainly Shadow – developed a new strategy. And by this, they meant that Shadow was forced to stop attacking directly and settled for angrily swatting back projectile spheres instead along with everybody else. It actually proved to be much more effective, as Shadow's rage made him an excellent combatant and his inconsistent body made getting hit a lot less of a problem than it was for the normal Hylians around him.

The fight now went as follows: Shadow grew lots of extra arms and used them to hit the magic spheres back with the added gift of _very_ unprintable insults, and the rest of the Links covered anything Shadow missed while trying their best to stay out of range. Much to their annoyance, this proved to be quite a good development. The fact that nobody Hylian was over ten years old was taking a heavy toll on their stamina. Normally by this point in a fight, they might be breathing a little heavier but they would still be perfectly capable of holding their own. Now though, when Lore hefted his sword to hit back a sphere, he fell over backwards with the momentum and his lack of ability to properly brace himself.

Put simply, they were – albeit slowly – losing. And nobody, aside from Ganondorf, took particularly well to that realization. So when their Gerudo opponent launched off another round of spheres, the Links decided to try a different tactic.

"The one on the middle-left," Gen instructed. "Ready... now!"

In synchronization that would make the Four proud, all six Links smacked one specific sphere with all the strength they had, sending it back to Ganondorf at a speed far too fast to be countered. The projectile hit its maker right in the chest and exploded into a fizzing yellow static that paralyzed the man for a few precious seconds.

"Sweet, it worked!" Lore enthused. "...Now what?"

"Now I shoot him with this," Ocarina replied, quickly nocking a Light Arrow and firing away. This was one of the few things he remembered Mask mentioning about his fight with Ganondorf and Ocarina was going to abuse his future knowledge to the fullest. The arrow dug deep and released it's Light magic on impact, which paralyzed Ganondorf again but in a completely different way. Unable to move, he slowly descended to the ground and knelt there, shaking in both fury and attempted motion.

"_Now_ we can hit him," Dusk said, grinning wolfishly. And they proceeded to do just that.

However, it only seemed to make the Gerudo angrier, as Ganondorf lunged back into the air and began tossing energy balls with much more frequency than before, which in itself was quite an accomplishment. Everyone but Shadow was sent sprawling, and Shadow himself ended up with three good-sized holes in his upper thigh, shoulder, and abdomen. Ganondorf gave them all an infuriating smirk-

And got hit in the face with a random Deku Nut.

"Gotcha!" Sketch crowed, holding a borrowed slingshot in one hand and more ammunition in the other. The six Links gaped at him, noticed everyone standing behind him, and gaped at them too. The fact that Oni was somehow inexplicably present didn't help things either.

"What the heck are you guys doing here?" Gen said dumbly. "We left you with the Great Fairy!"

"We chose to tactfully ignore that fact and came to help anyways," Wind replied.

"Navi, you were supposed to stop them!" Ocarina accused.

"I have no arms," Navi said dryly. "How exactly was I supposed to do that? Plus, once this pale guy showed up they all pretty much ignored me."

"Speaking of that," Dusk interrupted, "Oni, why _are_ you out? I thought we were supposed to be fighting our own battles?"

_"Make no mistake, I stand by what I have said,"_ Oni replied. _"However, numerous members of this group are under the age of five and have trouble walking, much less fighting. I am simply here to be the shield they cannot hold."_

Dusk let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding in relief. "Thanks."

_"You are most welcome."_

"EXCUSE me," Ganondorf cut in. "But I believe we were in the middle of me killing you. Care to explain why I am suddenly being bombarded with local plant material?"

"That would be us smaller people helping out in the only way we can," Sketch explained helpfully. "We are going to be your Distraction."

"I do not require a Distraction," Ganondorf growled.

"That's okay, our service is complimentary," Sketch replied, smiling evilly.

And he hit Ganondorf in the face with another Deku Nut.

Unfortunately, this only really served to further ignite the Gerudo man's wrath, and he lunged for the smaller Links – only to get blindsided by both an impassive Oni and a suddenly growling Dusk. Both Links exchanged a surprised glance for a moment before giving each other a nod and turning their glares to their opponent instead.

_"You will not touch them," _Oni stated calmly.

"What he said," Dusk agreed. Ganondorf eyed them both in interest.

"...Well then," he said. "Let's see if you can stop me."

Wind tugged on Sketch's sleeve and said quietly, "We probably ought to start that diversionary plan we came up with. Just 'cause, you know, I think we all want to keep living and things."

"Good idea," Sketch agreed. "Everyone, Flora Maneuver. Go!"

And with that, Ganondorf suddenly found himself the target of every projectile imaginable.

* * *

The Flora Maneuver was creatively named as such because it involved throwing plant-based things. These consisted of the previously used Deku Nuts, some random sticks they'd picked up on the way over, and... actually, it was just those two.

There were also the random Seeds of various types that Lore had started throwing, but since he wasn't really part of the Distraction this time that didn't really count.

As such, the Flora Maneuver only lasted about three minutes.

"...Okay, so that could have gone better," Sketch admitted ruefully. "But let's forget about that and move onto the Fauna Maneuver!"

...It was named bacause it involved everything that wasn't plant-based, okay? Red was in charge of naming thing anyways and he was out of commission, so someone had to step up.

In any case, this involved throwing... actually, not much. It turned out that the definition of 'Fauna' applied to approximately one thing in the Links' arsenal, and that was a completely unexpected and random Chain Chomp (whatever that was) that the Four apparently carried around with them. The round metal creature launched itself at Ganondorf with loud and resounding barks, of all things, and its very shiny and pointy teeth latched firmly onto the cloak that the villain was wearing. It proceeded to dangle there for the next ten or so minutes, content to interfere with Ganondorf's airway and generally make it very hard for him to both breathe and float at the same time.

Of course, since the actual throwing of the Chain Chomp only took about twenty seconds or so, the toddler Links were forced to move on to Plan Three.

"...Yeah, we probably could have planned this better, but we don't really care! Activate the Whatever-The-Word-For-Not-Plants-Or-Animals-Is Maneuver!"

Everyone took a moment to blink at that. And then Ganondorf got hit by, in no particular order, bombs, arrows, hookshots/clawshots/whatever-the-individual-variant-was, boomerangs, two lanterns, multiple pairs of underwater gear (read: flippers), a random ocarina that Speck apparently carried but wasn't actually important like the one Ocarina himself carried, several capes which landed on Ganondorf's head and obscured his vision nicely, three hammers (two regular and one Skull), a shovel, a grappling hook, a bait bag, an exceedingly large leaf, a telescope, multiple bottles (empty or otherwise), all three of Sketch's various wands plus one that Steam had, and the full force of the Spirit Train as Steam managed to squeak his summoning phrase through his underaged mouth at the very end.

Ganondorf came out of it looking sufficiently bedraggled. All the other Links stared. The Gerudo King blinked, once. Slowly.

"...You are going to pay for that," he said calmly, pulling the exceedingly large leaf off of his shoulder and making a futile attempt to dislodge the Chain Chomp hanging from his cape. It didn't work.

"Oh, come on!" Lore complained, for no apparent reason. "We were in line first!"

"If he wants it, he can have it," Sketch declared quickly. "No need to switch up the order of 'paying for it' just because of little old us."

"He is not the one who hit me with a hammer," Ganondorf said, still in that calm voice.

And then everything got very loud.

* * *

Ganondorf now had new targets: the smaller Links who had so infuriatingly pegged him with random objects. Overall, it was a good decision on his part because, being younger, they were less able to hit his magic projectiles back.

The only problem was that Oni, true to his word, absolutely refused to let his charges get hit by anything they couldn't block themselves. He didn't hit them back or anything, he just blocked with his sword and absorbed the energy into the metal like a sponge. But only the ones which were absolutely going to hit if he didn't intervene.

The rest of the spheres he left completely untouched, leaving the not-toddler Links to scramble around in their attempts to hit them back. Only Gen even managed to properly return one.

"Maybe you could, I dunno, give a little warning before you do that next time?" Shadow asked irately.

_"Did you not read my body language?"_

Any reply Shadow would have made to that was cut off as Ganondorf fired another round of orbs and Oni went on guard again. Shadow settled for rolling his eyes and using his pent-up annoyance on the incoming projectile instead. And while normally, Ganondorf would have been more than capable of hitting it right back, the Gerudo King currently had a Chain Chomp hanging from his cape, bait in his hair, and a Deku Nut exploding in his face as Sketch let a well-timed seed fly right as Shadow made contact with the magic sphere. Said magic sphere continued uninterrupted straight into Ganondorf's left shoulder and detonated in a fizzle of yellow sparks.

"Pretty!" Red chirped from his position on the ground. Oni spared him a small smile before refocusing on the villain who was currently glaring lethal daggers at the Links while slowly descending to the ground under the influence of his own magic. The general idea of his Look seemed to be 'That was a cheap shot.'

"Well yeah, but that was the point," Sketch said, having taken a few basic lessons from Mask in Facial Expressions. Then he looked at the older Links and asked, "Are you going to hit him or not?"

"I'm still registering the fact that you threw a Bait Bag at Ganondorf," Realm said slowly.

"I'm not," Ocarina said. "I'll get it."

With that, he knocked and shot another Light Arrow into his opponent, then quickly covered the distance between the two of them (followed by the other five fight-worthy Links) and went to work with his sword. This lasted about six seconds.

And then Ganondorf got angry.

With a violent burst of energy, he sent all the Links flying before standing up slowly and giving everyone a Death Glare that actually rivaled Shadow's.

"I just want to let you know," he said, deathly calm, "that you brought this upon yourselves."

His eyes turned yellow – not the warm yellow that makes one think of sunshine, but the cold yellow that, despite being what should be a warm color, makes you shiver instead. The back of his hand lit up with the same cold glow – and then his body exploded.

Unlike the yellow glow of a few moments previously, this was an icy white-blue that obscured his whole form - and made the emerging one all the more intimidating.

Ganondorf now loomed over the Links by a good fifteen feet, even more because they were all seven years younger than they should have been. He'd been formidible before; but now, holding two absolutely massive swords and with a body that was best described as a half-pig abomination, he was downright terrifying.

Someone let out a very appropriate "_Meep_" noise.

In the brief moment of absolute calm before everything went to the Dark Realm, Oni spoke up.

_"Mask wishes to note that your opponent is now called Ganon."_

"Oh, _that_ was helpful!" Gen snapped.

And then Ganon charged.

* * *

**Due to uploading issues, the battle is concluded in the next chapter.**


	53. Chapter 52

**This chapter is a continuation of the previous one.**

* * *

It was a very good thing, the Links reflected, that they'd just finished dealing with a giant Dragon. Otherwise Ganon would have been exponentially more intimidating than he already was. His skin was a pallid shade of green and his face managed to overshadow itself so that the only thing visible above his shoulders were his eyes, still glowing that cold yellow, and the dull red of his mane. He advanced on the Links holding one sword low to the ground and the other across his middle in a haunched-over posture which, unfortunately for the Links, only served to make him look bigger.

Somehow.

And then he proved that his size did absolutely nothing to his speed as he lunged forward and, both swords slashing, sent all the not-toddler Links flying.

"Oh, come on!" Gen shouted as he slid to a halt on the dirt. "I don't have enough Potions for this, the last town kicked me out before I could buy more!"

Ganon made a rumbling growl which generally translated as, 'I don't care' and lunged with his swords again, causing everyone to scatter.

"Did we have a plan for this part?" Dusk asked after he finished tumbling to a stop. "Because I don't remember anyone mentioning the giant sword-swinging pig."

"By now, is it really that surprising?" Realm wondered. Dusk blinked, then took a moment to think back on all the villain fights they'd had so far and count how many of them had involved a large pig swinging weapons.

"...Good point. Normal plan, then?"

"Run screaming, form a strategy on the fly, and have it work through sheer luck and divine intervention?" Lore clarified. Dusk gave him a Look.

"Yes, that's the one," he said dryly.

"Oh good, for a moment I thought I'd mixed it up with the one where we do the exact opposite of that," Lore said, grinning. He took a deep breath, rolled his neck a few times, then took a good look at the charging Ganon and said, "I hope you appreciate this, I've been practicing my screams of absolute terror," before letting out said scream of absolute terror and sprinting in the opposite direction.

It provided a nice distraction while the rest of the not-toddler Links huddled to form an actual plan.

"Ocarina, did Mask tell you anything about him?" Gen asked.

"Not much," Ocarina said ruefully. "We've been trying to preserve our timeline as much as possible, and the less I know the better. Apparently the fact that I know about Majora is already a bit too much, so..."

_"__I can ask for you, if you wish," _Oni said out of nowhere, materializing inside the huddle with all the toddler Links around his legs and startling everyone else.

"You gotta stop doing that," Realm decided after he started breathing again.

_"__Talking?"_

"No, the thing where you... actually, never mind, we can talk about this when we're not in danger of dying."

_"__Very well. As I was saying, I can ask Mask about your opponent, if you require it."_

"We require that very much, thanks," Shadow deadpanned.

_"__I see. Give me one moment, please."_

* * *

_'Mask, I have something to ask of you.'_

_'Yeah?'_

_'Your comrades wish to know if you have any input on how to take down Ganon.'_

_'...Oh shoot, that's right. I didn't tell Ocarina for the sake of preserving the timeline. Okay, umm... well, for starters, don't get hit by the swords, that hurts.'_

_'I am well assured that they know this already. Do you have anything more helpful?'_

_'Geez, you sound like Steam but more polite. But, yeah, I do. Ganon's weak spot is his tail, but he protects it with everything he's got. You either have to stun him or sprint like your life depended on it to get close enough, and usually sprinting was too slow. And he doesn't stun easy either.'_

_'Any other tips?'_

_'...If you're short enough, running through his legs might work.'_

_'My thanks. I will pass your knowledge on to your counterparts.'_

* * *

"What'd he say?" Ocarina asked, somewhat eagarly.

_"__Among somewhat obvious advice, he says to aim for the tail. He also recommends stunning, sprinting, and running through the legs if one is short enough."_

"The tail, huh?" Dusk said thoughtfully. "I can probably help with that."

"...Wait," Gen said slowly as Dusk pulled out his Curse Stone. "Dusk, you're ten years old and we don't know if that-!"

Dusk, however, had already dropped the item into his palm and transformed...

Into a wolf pup.

"...transfers over," Gen finished resignedly.

Dusk shook himself, noticed the height difference, and did the best equivalent of a facepalm that he could given his current form.

"Dusk," Ocarina said carefully. "I think you ought to know that you're... kind of adorable. I'm having a very hard time resisting the urge to squeal and cuddle you."

Red, however, had no such inhibitions and, despite being all of three years old, gave the wolf puppy in front of him the biggest hug he possibly could, inadvertantly adding to the cuteness. A toddler and a puppy are two of the most adorable things on the planet, and putting them together only adds a multiplying factor to the already significant number. Needless to say, everyone spent a few moments mastering their impulse to fall over from cuteness-induced overload.

"...So... uh... are you okay to fight like that?" Gen said, valiantly getting back on track. "Since you're smaller, and your teeth and things are less sharp, and you're... fluffier... and... wow you're fluffy. Can I pet you?"

_"__Please don't, Red is already filling that position," _Dusk muttered. If he didn't have fur at the moment, he would be turning a very bright pink. _"But yes, I can still fight. I just have less power behind my strikes."_

"...Right. Okay. Concentrating," Gen muttered to himself. "Channeling Vio. Okay. Dusk, you're on Tail Duty, you know what to do. Realm, you're still the best runner, so if we need a distraction for any reason you're the guy."

"I love when this happens," Realm mourned.

"Shadow... you have a grudge, I'm not even gonna bother. You're Damage, go nuts."

The grin on Shadow's face was just one degree shy of being absolutely maniacal. But by this point, everyone was so used to his quirks that this was considered perfectly normal.

"Lore," Gen continued, then realized that his co-leader was still running from, and taunting, Ganon on the far side of some rocks and decided, "we'll fill him in as we go. Ocarina, you and I take whatever openings Shadow misses, and... generally watch everyone's backs. With swords that big somebody's _bound_ to get caught off guard sooner or later. Oni, keep doing what you're doing."

_"__I had not planned to be doing anything else."_

"Good. And _you all_," Gen gave all the toddler Links a halfway-stern glare. "Stay out of trouble unless Oni can cover you... or if there's an absolutely _perfect_ opportunity to nail Ganon with something. Those are the only two exceptions!"

"Yes mom," Sketch saluted.

"And... I think that's everything," Gen decided. "HEY LORE! YOUR TURN!"

"BREAK!" Lore bellowed as he sprinted past. It took everyone a brief moment to realize that if Lore was this close... so was Ganon. Then they turned to see said large pig barreling down on them and promptly scattered.

* * *

With practiced ease, Dusk ignored the hysterical laughter of Midna inside his head and focused on his target, the erratically swinging dark-green tail following Ganon around. He angled, aimed, and struck-!

And missed entirely as he completely forgot to accommodate for his smaller size and slower speed and got punted across the field instead.

'_YOU WHIMPERED!'_ Midna fangirled in his mind as he picked himself up. _'Oh, you make THE MOST ADORABLE pain noises now! Can we seriously consider keeping you this way? Please?'_

_"__Absolutely not,"_ Dusk growled. The nearby Realm sent him a confused glance.

Midna couldn't understand him, obviously, but the growl needed no translation. '_Ah, you're no fun... Geez, here I am with the most perfect cuddly toy EVER, and I'm stuck in your shadow. Talk about bad timing.'_

_"__Midna, I'm trying to fight a battle here!"_

Midna ignored this easily, as all she was hearing were wolf noises._ 'And speaking of bad timing, you should probably-"_

Dusk was abruptly nailed by one of Ganon's swords as the villain thundered after Lore.

_'-dodge,' _Midna finished smugly. _'Told you so.'_

Privately, Dusk thought that if Midna would stop distracting him, he'd be able to concentrate much more effectively. But telling her that was a _very _bad idea for many reasons, so he went back to ignoring her.

And it was quite easy to do, as Shadow had just gone in for his typically brutal method of attack and provided a nice distraction.

The dark Link, with a vicious sneer on his face, catapaulted himself onto Ganon's back and, manifesting a second sword in his off hand, began hiking his way up the villain's back using the weapons as 'handholds' that he embedded in the muscle as he went. He was aiming to make it to the head, sooner or later, and had a vague plan that involved taking a page out of Wind's book and planting many, _many_ sharp and pointy things in Ganon's face.

He had a _very_ big grudge to work out.

Needless to say, this distracted Ganon _quite_ nicely, letting Lore finally get a break from sprinting around the battlefield. He'd been going nonstop ever since he'd picked up the Distraction job a few minutes ago and, not being Realm, was understandably tired.

"Hey," he gasped as Gen raced up beside him for a quick check-up. "Do you... have any... of that... energy stuff... with you?"

"...Stamina Potion?" Gen clarified. "Yeah, I've got some. Just let me dig it out."

Lore spent a few moments watching Shadow plant his swords in a new position, eliciting a pained bellow from his opponent while he waited. "Aww, look at him. He's having such a good time."

"I know, right?" Gen agreed, pulling out the desired bottle and handing it over. Lore drank the whole thing within three swallows.

"Tastes like grass," he said, making a face. "But dang if it doesn't work. Thanks."

"Just doing my job," Gen srhugged, taking the bottle back. "Has anyone filled you in on the plan?"

"Realm did," Lore said. "Didn't even break stride either..."

"Yeah well, that's Realm. Anyways, just keep doing what you do best, okay?"

"Absolutely," Lore beamed, and took off running again. He could be heard yelling, "OI! MR. GRUMPY PIG!" as he went.

* * *

Ocarina had set himself up on the side of the battle and was steadily shooting arrow after arrow whenever he got an opening. While it didn't actually do much in the name of damage, it did do one very important thing: keep Ganon from hitting anybody too hard. Shadow could take care of himself, obviously, but everyone else was a bit more fragile. Therefore, Ocarina was taking it upon himself to watch what they couldn't.

For example, Lore seemed to have significantly annoyed Ganon to the point where the pig was willing to ignore Shadow in favor of hitting the loud and shouty Hero on the ground. Obviously, Ocarina wasn't going to let that happen.

So he drew back, aimed, and fired an arrow into Ganon's forearm just as his arm swung down, causing a muscle spasm which made the limb miss Lore by inches. Of course, the ginger Link didn't seem to notice how close he'd come to being squished and instead yelled, "I DEMAND TO BE TREATED WITH THE PROPER AMOUNT OF HATRED AND EVIL! AND TO BE SQUISHED WITH ADEQUATE AIM!"

Despite himself, Ocarina smiled as he knocked another arrow. "Never change, Lore," he muttered, pullling back for his next shot.

* * *

Gen and Realm, having seen Lore was handling Distraction just fine by himself, took it upon themseves to help Shadow instead. Not that they were going to tell him that; but Shadow could get a bit hyperfocused on his own goals when it came to this sort of thing. So, the two Links came up with a plan to keep Ganon in more of one place. The idea was that, the less Ganon moved, the easier Shadow would be able to hang on and the more damage he would be able to do. And as an added bonus, Ganon moving less would mean an easier time for Dusk to get at the tail. The wolf pup currently wasn't having much luck; every time he tried to get close he either had to avoid a sword, or got body checked by the very appendage he was trying to attack.

So with all of this in mind, Gen handed one of his Hookshots to Realm and, on cue, both Links proceeded to entangle Ganon's legs, effectively... well, not stopping him. He was too big and powerful for that. But they were slowing him down.

And for Dusk, that was enough.

_'Finally,' _Midna scoffed in his head over Ganon's pained roars as he bit down. _'That took you way too long, little wolf – HAHAHAHAHAH! LITTLE WOLF! YOU'RE LITERLLY A LITTLE WOLF! THIS IS AMAZING!'_

She proceeded to break down in hysterics. Dusk rolled his eyes and returned his attention to the tail in his mouth, clenching his jaws with all the strength he could muster.

...Which unfortunately, wasn't all that much.

* * *

"...I feel slightly uselss," Sketch decided. "Again."

_"__I do not care. You will not be permitted to step any closer while your ability to defend yourself is still highly compromised."_

"But that's why _you're _here!"

_"__I am here as mortality protection. I am not here to take all the hits for you while you take unnecessary risks."_

"But they're not doing very well without us," Wind pointed out, trying his best to be persuasive. "And we've still got ammunition from the Whatever-The-Word-For-Not-Plants-Or-Animals Maneuver, plus that Chain-Chomp thing-"

The Chain Chomp, hearing it's name, barked happily.

"-and if you just let us try," Wind continued, "then we should be able to-"

_"__You. Will. Not. Go. Any. Closer,"_ Oni said in a starkly uncharacteristic display of fierceness. Everyone spent a moment gaping at him.

"Er... well..." Sketch stuttered, rallying himself. "What if we tried to-"

_"__NO."_

* * *

Lore suddenly realized that he was not being actively pursued by Mr. Grumpy Pig anymore and immediately turned around to see why. He was met with the interesting sight of Shadow 'rock-climbing' Ganon's back, Ocarina shooting an arrow into Ganon's pinkie... somehow (_'His aim is incredible!'_ Lore's ADHD mind enthused), Gen and Realm getting dragged along by a pair of Hookshots, and puppy-wolf Dusk hanging doggedly – pun entirely intended – onto the tail and getting thrashed, dragged, and whipped around more than all the other Links combined.

And somehow, all this only seemed to make Ganon angrier, as evidenced by the Totally-Ripped-Off-From-The-Hero-Spin-Attack-Knockoff that he performed, which knocked everyone but Shadow (who was too stubborn to fall off) at least twenty feet back.

It wasn't actually a Spin Attack _per se_, more of a calculated flailing in a circular motion, but Lore saw it as copyright infringement and dangit, he was sticking to it.

In any case, Ganon was once again freed from most of the various attacks and distractions that had been occupying his attention and the giant swine made use of it, lunging out with his weapons and sending Gen, Realm, and puppy-wolf Dusk flying even further away, this time with large gash wounds to add injury to insult.

This, Lore decided, would not do. This would not do at all.

And so he did what he did best.

"HI!" he chirped at a pitch that would make most people cringe. In fact, Ganon _did_ cringe, and Lore used the momentary lapse to plant himself directly at the villain's feet.

"You've been a naughty naughty swine, Mr. Grumpy Pig," Lore scolded. "Hitting people with pointy things! I'm ashamed of you."

Ganon snorted in complete lack of caring and made to slice Lore in half – only to discover that Lore was actually on the other side of his foot.

"Now why are you so grumpy, hmm?" Lore continued. "You seem like a great guy. I bet you're an absolute riot at parties."

Ganon roared angrily and tried to decapitate the annoyance – but missed, as Lore was abruptly leaning against his other leg instead.

"WHAT!?" Lore gasped in horror, having apparently heard something in Ganon's roar that wasn't bloodlust. "You've never been to a party!? EVER!?"

The former Gerudo frowned to himself. Normally people were easier to hit than this... Maybe he was just aiming badly. He decided to put this theory to the test and attempted to slice the Hero down the middle – but now the redheaded boy was sitting on the big toe of his opposite foot.

How was he _moving_ so fast?

"We have to fix this!" Lore cried, rummaging frantically in his bag for... something. "Because if you've never had a party, then you've never had a birthday, and if you've never had a birthday then you've never gotten cake, or presents, or silly party hats, or ice cream, or cupcakes, or streamers or confetti or frosting or sprinkles or balloons and NO WONDER YOU'RE SO GRUMPY! But don't worry Mr. Grumpy Pig, I can make it AAAAAALL better!"

With that, Lore pulled out a bomb with a shiny ribbon for a wick instead of waxed string, lit it on fire(works), and yelled, "PARTY IN THE HOLE!" right before the bomb exploded in a cloud of streamers, frosting, confetti, and the sound of twenty-seven enthusiastically blown airhorns.

Once the confetti finished clearing out of his vision, Ganon discovered he had a party hat on his head, his swords had been replaced with two large Deku Sticks, there was a pinata hanging in front of his face, and Lore was stationed ten feet to the left behind a table so loaded with presents, cake and general confectionary that it was about to snap.

"Well?" Lore said, perching his own party hat atop the one he was already wearing and causing the orange of the cardboard to clash violently with the green of the fabric. "Aren't you going to swing at it? I packed it with all your favorite sweets and things!"

Ganon blinked blankly at the Deku Sticks for a moment, then decided that he would much rather swing at Lore than the pinata and promptly attempted to do so.

'Attempted' being the operative word, as Lore turned out to be somewhere else entirely and the Deku Sticks smashed the table and all of its offerings into splinters.

"YOU BROKE THE PARTY!" Lore gasped. "YOU BAD, BAD PIG!"

Ganon tried to flatten him again – but Lore was already thirty feet away.

"_Bad things happen to people who break parties,_" Lore said menacingly. The effect was somewhat ruined by the fact that he was still wearing both hats. "And you know what? I'm actually really good friends with Karma, so she should be paying you a visit right about..."

Gen, Realm, and puppy-wolf Dusk all attacked Ganon's tail at that exact moment.

"Now," Lore finished. "Great timing guys!"

"How long have you had a Party Bomb?" Realm asked, bewildered. Behind him, Ganon roared and thrashed in an attempt to dislodge Dusk from his tail. It wasn't working.

"I actually can't take credit," Lore said, grinning. "During one of my adventures – I forget which – I met this pink talking thingie that turned out to be Fun Incarnate. I just borrowed some of the ideas. With permission, of course."

Realm just blinked at him. "...You have had a strange life."

"But rarely boring!" Lore beamed.

"You should stop talking and help now!" Gen yelled at them.

* * *

"...You people are all insane," Navi decided resolutely. "If we live, I am getting Link far, _far_ away from you all to make sure his sanity stays intact."

_"__Mask wishes me to inform you that that is not a good idea,"_ Oni said impassively.

"And why not? From what I can tell, hanging around you all only puts him at more risk then he was already in! _Look _at what he's doing!"

Case in point, everyone except Shadow (who was still trying to stick a sword in Ganon's head), was sprinting across the field while the oversized pig rampaged behind them. Oddly enough, Ganon had what appeared to be a party hat on his head.

"...Not to ruin your argument, but we've done that _many_ times before this," Sketch said.

"THAT'S WORSE!"

"You can't take him away," Wind argued. "You'll mess up his personal timeline. A _lot_."

"Ocarina stays," Steam agreed stubbornly.

_"__As his past self, Mask says he refuses to go with you on the grounds that he needs to become himself to refuse to go with you."_

This got more of a pause out of Navi then anything else had yet, if only because she had no idea what it meant. "...What?"

_"__He says he can't go with you because if he does, he won't grow into Mask and be able to refuse you on behalf of his past self now. He also says it's time travel, it's meant to be confusing, and if you haven't got a headache you're not thinking about it correctly."_

Any further conversation was interrupted as Ganon barrelled through and Steam hurriedly rattled off his summons in order to knock the villain off course before he ran them all over. Navi stared blankly.

"...We can finish this later," she decided.

* * *

Getting hit with the Spirit Train clearly rattled Ganon's brain a bit, Shadow decided from his sword-handhold perch atop Ganon's back. He knew this because this was the third time the villain had turned a circle in twice as many seconds.

It annoyed him. He was _trying_ to enact his vengeance, it would be _nice_ if the victim would cooperate!

Perhaps he ought to try for a different method... no, he'd already worked his way this far up, giving up now would be pointless. He only had a few more 'handholds' to go. All he needed now was for Ganon to hold just a bit more still.

...Once this was over, he needed to ask Speck exactly how one did this in any sort of reasonable time. For the life of him, he could not figure out how the small Link made this type of thing his primary battle strategy.

Ganon paused and made to decapitate someone but missed, and in the brief lull Shadow quickly stabbed himself another handhold and pulled himself a few feet closer to his target. It caused a brief roar of pain – and a bout of violent thrashing. It seemed Ganon had finally decided that Shadow was enough of an annoyance that he should be dislodged and was going about it with vigor.

Good thing, Shadow thought to himself, he was so incredibly stubborn.

* * *

Dusk had been shaken off, Lore had completely lost Ganon's interest to Shadow, Ocarina appeared to have run out of arrows, and Gen was panting like he'd just run a marathon. Realm gave him a checking glance, which Gen waved off with a gasped, "I'm good."

Reassured, Realm returned his attention to the large villainous pig. He was currently scrabbling at the nape of his neck in a (almost certainly futile) attempt to get Shadow off and not paying much attention to anything else. To Realm's eyes, he was... slightly tired.

"...We've got a long way to go," Realm decided resignedly.

"Great," Gen groaned, hoisting himself to his feet. "Hookshots again, or do you have a better idea?"

Realm gave his half-leader a once-over, noting that he was still very clearly out of breath.

"Let's go help Ocarina shoot arrows," he said. "Remember, you're still ten and I'm still seven. We need more breathers than we used to."

He received a glare for that, but Realm knew it was just because Gen was annoyed with his ten-year-old limits. Heck, Realm was annoyed with his seven-year-old limits. He could only sprint for a solid five minutes before he started getting tired, for crying out loud!

...Maybe this was how everyone else felt when they complained about keeping up with him, Realm wondered. Then he realized Gen still hadn't given him an answer and raised a prompting eyebrow.

"...Yeah, fine." Gen grumbled. "We can do that."

"Good," Realm smiled, reaching over and wrapping an arm under the still-panting Link's shoulders. "My turn to mother you for once," he explained cheerfully.

Gen just rolled his eyes and reached for a Stamina Potion.

* * *

"_PLEASE,_" Sketch growled, sounding, despite his best efforts, not intimidating in the slightest due to his higher voice.

_"__No,"_ Oni said impassively. He, on the other hand, sounded very intimidating, which Sketch considered distinctly unfair because Oni wasn't even trying to be.

"We _need_ to help," Sketch tried. "They're tired! You know they're tired!"

_"__And you are weak. You know this."_

"Just let us throw the Chain Chomp at him or _something!_"

_"__Ganon in his current state would put you in more danger than I am willing to risk," _Oni replied tersely. _"Despite my skills, I cannot be in two places at once, and I was entrusted with your protection. I will not allow you to endanger yourselves beyond my ability to protect you."_

Sketch took a deep, annoyed breath, unable to find any real way to argue with that. Wind pursed his mouth thoughtfully.

"...What if we're at a safe distance that _you_ choose, and throw things from there?" he suggested. "If Ganon targets us, you can see him coming and have time to react. Is that okay?"

Oni considered this extensively, for the most part ignoring Mask in the back of his mind urging him to say yes.

_"__...You may contribute from the top of that cliff,"_ Oni decided, indicating a large landscape feature a good quarter mile away. The Links stared at it.

"...You _had_ to give him ideas," Sketch grumbled. Wind tugged his bangs awkwardly.

* * *

Getting to and climbing the cliff had taken a good twenty minutes, during which Shadow had yelled something probably obscene, Ganon had attempted to kill all the fighting Links at least twice, Dusk had gone for the tail three times – and missed three times due to erratic thrashing, and Lore had probably insulted Ganon to his face at _least _twelve times.

Well, they were guessing on the 'Lore insulting Ganon' part, but given what they knew about their half-leader it was a fairly safe bet.

But now, everyone and Navi were standing on the top of the cliff and watching the battle rage below... and also wondering how on earth they were supposed to properly aim anything from this distance.

"...We could roll rocks," Wind said eventually.

"I say we throw the Chain Chomp and leave while we still can," Navi said firmly. She was mostly ignored, as the only thing implemented from her suggestion was the Chain Chomp, which bounced down the hill barking happily the whole way and immediately began clanking it's way towards the fight (and the long enticing cape hanging from Ganon's shoulders).

"Train?" Steam suggested.

"Will it work if he can see it coming?"

Steam shrugged.

_"__Arrows fly a long ways, especially from higher ground,"_ Oni hinted.

"Yeah, but Dusk is the best marksman and he's down there," Sketch said. "He's also currently a dog. And next down from him is Ocarina, who's also down there, and Mask, who's hosting you. We're _good_ at archery, sure, but they're _great_."

Oni took this into consideration, again.

_"__...If you will provide the bow and ammunition, I will provide the necessary aim,"_ he said at last.

Sketch and Wind exchanged glances before they both went digging in their bags.

"Have you got anything to withstand his pull strength?" Sketch asked his friend, sifting through his things.

"It's debatable," Wind replied, frowning.

* * *

Shadow hiked his way one 'handhold' farther up, causing Ganon to thrash yet again and throw everyone who had been trying to get a tail shot in away. Again.

Needless to say, it was starting to become annoying. It had been a while since anyone had gotten a hit in that hadn't been Ganon, and it showed in the way the Links were beginning to become disheartened. Combined with the fact that they were all much more tired than they usually would be, and... well, nobody had any illusions as to what would happen once their strength completely gave out.

Dusk mulled all this over as he took a breather, tongue hanging out and panting heavily. Clearly, something had to give sooner or later and he really didn't want it to be his pack.

So then, how could he change the tide of the fight?

...Oni had mentioned something, when relaying Mask's message, about running through the legs to get to the tail. And although he'd forgotten in the thick of the battle, he'd originally changed into a wolf in order to be short enough to accomplish that.

Well then. Time to test the theory.

He took one more deep breath, then darted back into the fray, weaving frantically through the bodies of his friends to reach his target. Ganon saw him coming, of course, and rather than be nice about he decided to be a jerk and attack instead. Dusk dodged the first sword, then ducked under the second – not quite enough to avoid being scraped though – and shot through the villain's legs before Ganon quite realized what was happening.

_I should have done this ages ago_, Dusk thought to himself, before biting down on Ganon's tail and holding on for all he was worth.

That was when something odd happened. Ganon had his roars of angry pain for Shadow on his back, his roars of infuriated pain when someone hit his tail, and his roars of annoyance for everything else. This particular roar, however, sounded surprised more than anything else.

And the reason became apparent as a second Light Arrow speared in from absolutely nowhere and embedded itself on top of the first, directly in Ganon's right shoulder.

Then Lore took advantage of the distraction and materialized next to Dusk. After a quick wink and a brief, "Give a guy some room, eh?," Lore stabbed his sword into Ganon's tail right next to Dusk's head. Then Ocarina, Gen, and Realm sprinted in and joined the party by adding their own weapons to the mix. This also had the side effect of pinning Ganon's tail, and by extension the rest of him, in one place, as he would be unable to move without severely mutilating himself on the Link's weapons.

Another Light Arrow rocketed in and planted itself right next to Gen's sword near the tip of the tail, which the Links now realized were probably the toddler half of the group contributing from wherever Oni had decided was safe. And lastly, Shadow took advantage of the complete confusion to hoist himself the last few feet and _slam_ his sword into Ganon's head with such force that he buried the blade all the way up to the hilt. Then he manifested six more and drove them in as well, just to make himself feel better.

He still wished he had lava or something, but... this was a fine substitute.

And with one final roar, Ganon slowly toppled over and vanished into the now-expected black void.

"...That... was... _exhausting,_" Gen declared, sitting down with a _thump._

* * *

Everyone straggled together slowly, as the toddler-Links were tired from climbing the cliff, and the not-toddler Links were tired from... well, it was obvious. But despite their clear need for a nap, none of them wanted to take the time to rest until one very important task had been accomplished.

Namely, fixing themselves.

Oni excused himself once the fight had been finished, on the grounds that since the threat had been neutralized, he was no longer needed as the older Links could once again look after the younger ones. Personally, the Links thought he was just uncomfortable with the attention involved with gratitude.

...They'd get him out of that shell one day.

But that was a project for later. Right now, they desperately wanted their normal bodies back.

* * *

"...Okay," Ocarina said, slowly. He rubbed his eyes, blinked fiercely, and continued, "We're here."

With difficulty, the Links avoided outright collapsing on the floor and settled for sitting down very quickly instead.

"Hurry up and pull the sword so we can _sleep _already..." Lore moaned.

"I agree with him," Mask said. "Trutht me, we do _not_ want to lithp any longer than abtholutely nethethary."

"Yeah I know," Ocarina muttered. "I'm just trying to... figure out which one I'm supposed to pull. I can... only get my eyes halfway open... and it's messing my vision up."

"One in the middle?" Wind suggested, pausing to yawn halfway through the sentence. Ocarina frowned, reached out and attempted to grab the one in the middle, but missed because it was actually the one on the left instead. Once he realized this he slowly corrected himself, wrapped his hands around the hilt of the Master Sword, and – with a great deal of tired-induced difficulty – hoisted the metal weapon out of the stone.

The Temple of Time thrummed in response. And the world turned white.

* * *

"...Right then..." the sixteen-year-old Ocarina said sleepily, sheathing the sword on his back and sliding to the floor with his back braced against the stone pedestal. "That's done... all in favor... of a nap?"

Lore answered this with a resounding snore.

Dusk chuckled quietly, looking like the whole experience had only been an interesting experiment. "I'd say that's a yes," he murmered. "You get some sleep, I'll take first watch."

Ocarina had just enough time for a thank-you smile before he passed out.

When they woke up, Speck, Blue, Green, Red, Vio, and the Four would all relish in their regained ability to walk and speak without problems, while everyone else would just be generically relieved and decide to never do that again. But for now, Ganon was beaten, the Temple was quiet and peaceful, and they all desperately needed the rest.

They didn't even notice when Sheik walked in and helped Dusk slip pillows under their heads.

* * *

**So. I saw the new trailer for LoZ Breath of the Wild. And I freaked out. **

**HOLY TOAST ON A PICKLE IT LOOKS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. The graphics! The parkour! The WATER! You can always tell how good a game is by the quality of the water, and DANG that was some good water! WHY does it have to come out next year and not tomorrow!? *whimpers***

**...Sorry. I'm very excited. This combined with Sun and Moon has made me practically giddy with anticipation.**

**Anyways, sorry this chapter took so long. Part of it was that I may have sorta-kinda-on-accident broke my promise to not have any more chapters over 10,000 words. The other part was writers block. **

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to Xilent, bennettp1007, mitsukazen, Bed22455, Julia2211, bowser3000000, Cinderfall201, NagisaMisumi, Katlover12, AGStudio9, Carsonthesage, Shade the Cat, Xcell, CookieRocks-2, Maxie-A, Rotciv557, What Lies Beyond, seabascz95, CobaltGale, Wanderer No.96, anime shadow alpha, and Katemere for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**Guest: Aww, thanks ^-^ I dunno, really... I just use my own sense of humor and occasionally combine it with reader suggestions. Glad it works, though!**

**Rockster: I dunno, actually. It might be one of those things where it's anime-only. If it's not, I feel like that combined with Mega Evolution would just be... overkill. The reason Megas work is that they're special and only happen to certain ****Pokémon. Adding ****_another_**** evolutionary thingie... I probably wouldn't like it much.**

**Guest #2: That's actually a plot point I plan on addressing in a sequel/spinoff thing.**

**The has-been who never will-be: So... you reviewed twice, changed your writing style, deliberately misspelled words, and made yourself sound like a completely different person, all to make me reconsider Koholint? ...Wow. I mean, props for determination and all, but you know there are easier ways, right? Still, you actually did give me a good idea for the spin-off/sequel, I need lots of those. / Now for your other questions. I've never read Horses of the Dawn, I'll have to look that up. / Saying anything to any Link... I feel like I'd give them a hug and a listening ear. D'you have any idea how stressful being responsible for the fate of the whole word must be? Oh, and encouragement. "You're doing great, man," and all that. / If I had to pick a flavor... raspberry. I like raspberry. / I went snorkeling once, that was pretty great. Oh, and parasailing. Went white-water rafting a couple times, that was fun... ziplining... oh, and one time I went out and splashed in a thunderstorm for no real reason aside from 'I wanted to'. I got absolutely soaked and I loved every second of it. / Probably some of my dad's jokes. He's the reason I like bad puns in the first place. **

**Chariot's Cave: ...You wouldn't happen to be The has-been, would you? You always review on the same day within an hour of each other... there's coincidence, and then there's a pattern. Granted, they've already pulled this on me once... but if it is you – three different usernames, really? What on earth possessed you? (And if I'm still wrong... Zyrex? And telling me you reviewed as 'guest reviewer' does not help in guessing your actual username.) / No, the chapter delay was entirely because of writers block. No worries. And if you wanna just tell me, go right ahead. **

**MitsukiKazen: That is absolutely okay. I'm guessing you're on DeviantArt... I'll look it up in about a week or so, to give you time.**

**Some random fan9: Yeah, pretty much. It's my general opinion that if someone goes through a massive body change, they need a ****_long_**** time to adjust to it. Just look at how long it takes for people who need physical therapy.**

**Zyrex: You know, I've always thought Vaati had more going for him than just being villainous and mage-y. You raise a lot of good points...**

**Bananasnotasong: Aww, thanks! I did like how that fight came out. / Ohhhh... it does? Huh. Well then, that boss fight suddenly makes a whole lot more sense. / 'It's' can be used possessively. 'It is his name' becomes 'It's his name', and so on. If for some reason that's wrong, then I need to go have a talk with basically every English teacher I've ever had... / That was actually a joke; since Lore does have red hair he resembles out-gingering people, because most of the time that's what happens.**

**Guest #3: You raise a good point. The original "*****" that I used was basically because Shadow's personality absolutely dictated that he would say something like that and I was trying to compromise with my values. The second one was... actually, I'm not sure why I used another one, so I've changed it. The original one will be staying, but it ****_will_**** be the only one simply because it matched Shadow's reaction so very well.**

**LuckyLugia: Oh hey, you're back! You're the only reviewer I know who calls Speck 'Chibi-Sama', so it wasn't that hard to figure out. **


	54. Chapter 53

**So I'll be going on vacation in a few days, and since I'm going the Universe has decided that it's taking a vacation too.**

**Again.**

**Therefore, I'm doing my own disclaimer. I do not, nor will I ever, own the Legend of Zelda.**

**...You think I'll ever be able to stop saying that? I'm running out of ideas to make this thing creative. Maybe I should start copping off funny stuff I read on the Internet.**

* * *

Ocarina blearily blinked his eyes open and yawned. He hadn't slept like that in... actually pretty recently, as it'd been right after fighting Onox, Veran, and Hyrule Ganon. Although that time had been significantly less comfortable... was there a pillow under his head? Yes there was... he wondered how that had gotten there.

Right about then was when his memories from the previous day kicked in, and he sat bolt-upright and began looking himself over. Master Sword on his back, adjusted tunic for his height, item arsenal he was familiar with... he was sixteen again.

"Glad to see you're awake," Dusk's voice sounded from his left. "You've been asleep for a long time."

Ocarina dug around in his memories and winced. "You didn't stay awake the entire night, did you? You should have said something, I would have been glad to take some of the watch."

A small part of his mind noted that his voice was back to normal and threw an impromptu party at the sound of it, but most of him kept focus on Dusk.

"I actually got my fair share last night," Dusk assured him. "Sheik found us and offered to take over so I could rest."

"She did?" Ocarina said, surprised. "How did she know where we were?"

Dusk shrugged. "Apparently she stalked us like a ninja and only came out once Ganondorf was gone."

Ocarina considered this. "Well... I guess she did spend seven years doing that, it makes sense that she'd be good at it by now... Where is she now?"

"Keeping watch outside," Dusk replied, pointing. Ocarina followed his finger to see the silhouette of the disguised Princess Zelda leaning against the doorframe and staring out at Hyrule Field determinedly.

"You should go thank her," Dusk said, masterfully hiding a small, sneaky smile behind his usual expression of calm. He may have been hopeless with his own Zelda, but that didn't mean Ocarina had to be. And luckily, Ocarina was just young enough mentally to be completely clueless about it.

"...Sure, that's a good idea," Ocarina agreed, and did just that. Dusk allowed the sneaky smile to make a brief appearance as the two talked.

"Operation: Get Those Two Together is a go," he murmered.

_'About time!' _Midna snapped in his head. _'Have you SEEN the looks she's been giving him? Goddesses, it's almost as bad as the ones you give your Zelda when you think nobody's looking!'_

"I do not!" Dusk retorted, face bright red. "And anyways, what about you and Shadow? You two spend an awful lot of time together."

_'He's my insult partner,'_ Midna sniffed. _'Of course I spend time with the moron, he's the only person I know who can make a proper retort. Why does that... wait. You think... You think I LIKE HIM!?'_

"The thought had crossed my mind..."

Midna was silent for approximately two-and-a-half seconds before bursting into uproarious laughter. _'ME AND THE FREAK! THAT'S HYSTERICAL! AS IF WE'D EVER MAKE A GOOD MATCH!'_

Dusk waited patiently until she calmed down (about eight minutes later) before saying, "I take it you don't agree."

_'Not in the slightest, little wolf,'_ Midna replied, still chuckling. _'Oh, I needed a good laugh, thanks for that. Remind me of this conversation if I ever need a pick-me-up, will you? Me and Shadow... oh, that's rich...'_

Dusk sighed and returned his attention to the outside world, surveying the rest of his pack. The smaller Links were rejoicing in their recovered ability to walk, Blue had Red in a celebratory headlock, Realm was looking for his shield with Lore and Speck, Gen was handing out Potions to anybody he could coerce into it, and...

Dusk frowned and did a quick headcount. His frown deepened, and he ran the headcount again, just to be sure.

...Someone was missing.

Dusk ran through the names in his head, counting them off on his fingers. Himself, the Four, Realm, Lore, Speck, Green, Red, Blue, Vio, Steam, Sketch, Gen, Mask, Ocarina, Wind...

...Shadow. Where was Shadow?

Dusk wasn't entirely sure why he was worried about this. Shadow had pulled the exact same stunt _multiple_ times before, and it wasn't like this was anything new. Heck, once Shadow had been missing for an entire week while they trudged through Realm's Hyrule back when they still thought letting him lead was a good idea.

So really, Dusk had absolutely no reason to be concerned about Shadow's whereabouts, except for the fact that he was. So he decided to ask about it, just to be sure.

"Has anyone seen Shadow?"

The Links paused in their 'We're Finally Our Normal Ages' festivities and exchanged glances with each other.

"Not since we woke up," Speck offered. "Kinda funny actually, since he was roughly seventeen-ish when you activated the Temple, he got 'aged' into a roughly twenty-four-ish old version of himself."

"Is that what all that cursing was about?" Wind asked. "I wondered who was so cranky. That makes a lot more sense now."

"Yeah, he fixed that real fast," Speck agreed. "After that I kinda got distracted with everything else and I lost track."

"Zelda says she saw him walk out about half-an-hour ago," Ocarina called from the entrance.

Now, as stated before, this was completely within normal behavior for Shadow. But when Dusk heard this, every instinct he'd ever used, wolf or not, started screaming at him that something was _very_ wrong. And evidently it was showing on his face, because everyone else in the room abruptly became very still.

"...Dusk?" Steam asked cautiously.

"I'm going to find Shadow," Dusk said suddenly, and without another word flashed into his wolf form and sprinted out the door with his nose firmly to the ground.

There was a moment of silence as everyone processed the past five seconds.

"...I don't know about you guys," Mask said eventually, "but if there's one thing I've learned about Dusk, it's that the guy has_ unbelievable_ timing when it comes to the people he values. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that he's included Shadow on that list, which means that his unbelievable timing is kicking into gear. Therefore, I'm going to be following him." He paused, then added, "Anyone else?"

"Give me a minute to find a good spot to hold on and I'm good to go," Speck said firmly, shrinking down and using his hookshot to attach himself to Mask's sleeve.

"I'm coming," Wind agreed.

"**Same,**" the Four said.

And by that point, verbal agreement was pretty much moot because they all knew they were going whether they said it out loud or not.

* * *

Shadow scowled at the ground.

This of course was unfair to the ground, as it had not done anything worth being scowled at, but Shadow did it anyways. He was in a bad mood, which was really saying something because he was in a mediocre mood ninety percent of the time on average.

The reason for this was that Shadow was... conflicted.

He would have spent more time ruminating on said conflict, except for the fact that there was a wolf, a Goron, a Train with people, and a runner approaching him and this was an unusual enough sight that it completely ruined his concentration.

This, unfortunately, only served to make him more annoyed.

* * *

Dusk was vaguely aware of a Goron, Realm, and everyone else on a Train following him, but most of his attention was focused on the dark-silver-gray scent that was Shadow's. The dark Link had covered a startling amount of ground in only thirty minutes, but oddly enough most of it had been spent going in circles. Either Shadow was lost, which seemed unlikely as he somehow always knew where they were going before they got there, and in fact often showed up before everyone else, or he was being indecisive. This also seemed unlikely, as Dusk couldn't remember Shadow ever being indecisive before, but since it was slightly_ more_ likely than Shadow being lost...

The scent abruptly became much more concentrated, and Dusk looked up just in time to realize he was about to hit a tree. He jerked himself to the side, narrowly missing the bark, and as he did he caught a glimpse of a pair of surprised, red eyes perched in the top of the branches.

Shadow.

Dusk twisted himself around, screeched to a halt, and then leaped out of the way as Mask came barreling through and hit the next tree over. The resounding thud shook the dirt under his paws.

"...Ow," Mask decided, uncurling from his Goron ball and pulling the mask off his face. Behind everyone, Steam brought the Spirit Train to a stop and dismissed the summons in a much more controlled fashion than Mask's entrance. And Realm just jogged up like he'd never heard of exertion in his life.

Dusk transformed himself back and strung the Curse Stone pouch around his neck again, looking up into the tree while he did.

"Shadow?" he called. "Can you come down?"

"Go away!" Shadow snapped.

Now, Dusk was not a confrontational person. In his own words, he was more of a protective Beta. But he was not going to take no for an answer, and that was when his _very_ rarely seen Alpha side came through.

"Shadow. Get down here. Now."

There was a moment of silence before Shadow poked his head through the leaves to gauge whether or not Dusk's expression matched his voice tone. Upon seeing that yes, it did, he grudgingly decided that maybe listening to him was a good idea and slithered down the tree to the ground, where he folded his arms and stubbornly refused eye contact with everyone.

"What do you want."

Dusk relaxed his stance now that Shadow was on the ground. "You disappeared. We were worried."

"I do that all the time," Shadow grunted. Dusk raised a single, questioning eyebrow.

"This time is different," he said simply.

"And how would you know!?" Shadow snarled.

Dusk's other eyebrow joined the first one on his forehead, and he gave Shadow a skeptical look.

"...That doesn't work on me," Shadow said unconvincingly. Dusk ignored this and simply kept looking at him.

"...Stop that. Nothing's wrong. I'm fine. Stop looking at me. Seriously, stop. I will strangle you with your hat. Stop looking at me like something's wrong. I'm not kidding, your hat makes for great air-blocking material, I _will_ use it... Stop looking at me like that!"

Dusk continued to look at him. The curious thing was that he wasn't using any particular expression. He was just looking.

"Nothing's wrong, so _go away!"_ Shadow growled.

"I never said anything was wrong, though," Dusk pointed out quietly. Shadow paused mid-retort and said something unprintable.

"Language," Dusk said mildly.

"I will say whatever I darn well please!" Shadow snapped. "Now go away and stop pestering me!"

"Guys," Speck said suddenly. "I think he's leaving."

Shadow, and everyone else for that matter, froze.

"...You're joking," Steam said slowly. "Right?"

"Why else would he want us to go? I mean, Shadow's never the most social person even on his best days but this is a different kind of antisocial. He physically doesn't want us around, which is weird because before this he's never cared. So logically, he must be doing something that he doesn't want us around for, and the only reason I can think of is that having us around will just make leaving harder."

"That's a stupid theory," Shadow said bluntly. "Even if I was leaving, why the heck would I care what you idiots thought about it?"

"I don't know," Speck said. "Why don't you tell us?"

Shadow gaped for a moment, then snapped his mouth shut and glared at the dirt again.

"...You're not actually leaving, are you?" Red asked in a quivering voice.

"So what if I am!?" Shadow shouted suddenly. "I beat up who I came along to beat up, and there's no reason for me to stick around any longer! And heck, most of you still don't like me much anyways, so _why the heck do you care what I do!?"_

"Wait, who doesn't like you?" Blue asked in surprise.

"_You_ don't," Shadow muttered.

Vio thwacked his counterpart upside the head and scolded, "Nice job, genius. He thinks you hate him."

"I don't hate him!" Blue protested. "Sure, he does things sometimes that I'm not crazy about, but so does everybody! It really annoys me when Wind gives me fashion tips but that doesn't mean I dislike _him_!"

"I thought you liked my ideas," Wind lamented.

Blue turned red. "Oh, uh... I didn't mean it like that..."

Vio sighed. "You were just proving a point, we know. Maybe just do it more tactfully next time, okay?"

Shadow seemed unmoved by this and kept glaring at them all. "He's not the only one."

"If this is about all those times I told you to watch your language, that was because of the audience," Gen said. "They've got sensitive ears, you know."

"Oi!" Blue yelled, tackling his half-leader. "That's _my_ job!"

"And it's painful," Gen wheezed. "You can have it back, sorry."

"Thank you," Blue said pointedly. Then he turned to Shadow and said, "If this is about all those times Gen told you to watch your language, that was because of the audience. They've got sensitive ears, you know."

He was promptly tackled by his three other counterparts for breaking things.

Shadow blinked, as he was now running out of examples. He hadn't had all that many examples to begin with, mainly because the argument of 'They won't care when I'm gone' was really just an excuse he'd been feeding himself to make the leaving easier.

"...Whatever," he grumbled, hiding this epiphany. "There's still no point on sticking around anymore."

"But what about Demise?" Ocarina asked plaintively. Shadow sighed.

"Look, remember when I first inserted myself into this group here? I was along purely to get revenge on the Ganondorf who created me and left me to rot. We just did that. I stabbed him in the head. Multiple times. My work here is done, and there's no reason for me to hang around anymore. I even said so. All I'm doing now is keeping my word."

Red threw himself around Shadow's midsection and wailed, "I don't want you to go!" into his clothes. Shadow held his arms up awkwardly, as this sort of thing was not in his comfort zone. His expression said mountains – and that was before Mask started translating it.

"He's going to miss us," Mask stated, scrutinizing Shadow's face. "He's conflicted about leaving because he doesn't actually want to go, but he's also never going to say that out loud because of obvious reasons. He's started to think of himself as his own Link, not as a shadow of us, and as far as he's concerned Demise needs a good kick in the teeth. But he thinks he needs to keep up his reputation and unfortunately for him that doesn't let him stay to help us finish this because that would be showing affection. Now he wants to strangle me for saying all his inner turmoil out loud and he's planning a very quiet but violent murder in which he stuffs a Cucco in my face and kills me through half-suffocation and half Cucco-vengeance once the rest of Steve's gang figures out where their second-in-command went."

By the end of this little speech, Shadow's face had gone from it's usual tone of black, to gray, to dark red, to a pink so bright that it made his skin look like a normal peach shade. He seemed to be trying to make a scathing retort that would counteract everything Mask had just said, except for the fact that he also appeared to be choking on his words and all that was coming out was a high-pitched wheezing noise.

"...I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that Mask is entirely accurate in his translating," Lore said.

"Good," Speck said firmly. "That's settled then."

"...What's settled?" Shadow managed.

"You're staying," Speck smiled.

Shadow blinked. "I am?"

"Yes you are," Dusk inserted. "Because you are a part of this group and it wouldn't be the same without you. Plus, we wouldn't have even won that last fight if you hadn't been here. I think I speak for everybody when I say you're one of us."

"You really thought you could get away that easily?' Gen added.

Shadow, in a spectacularly uncharacteristic fashion, lowered his head and tugged on his bangs bashfully. "You idiots..." his voice muttered from under his hair. "...Thanks."

"You are very welcome," Lore said, beaming. "Cue the Group Glomp!"

There was a moment of silence as everyone frowned in confusion.

"...What, exactly, is the Group Glomp?" Gen asked.

"This, silly!" Lore exclaimed, before throwing himself at Shadow with enough force to send him staggering and wrapping his arms around the darker Link's shoulders in one of the most exuberant hugs anyone had every seen.

"...Get him off me," Shadow said through gritted teeth. The Links exchanged glances with each other and slow, evil grins began spreading on their faces instead.

"Absolutely not," Shadow warned, correctly interpreting the expressions as a precursor to something he would not enjoy. "Don't you dare. I forbid you to-!"

That was as far as he got before he was bowled over entirely by the Group Glomp and was buried in a pile of giggling siblings.

* * *

Farore exhaled in relief. "It's official, Shadow's staying."

"Finally came to his senses did he?" Din asked. "Honestly, that whole leave-without-them-noticing plan was never going to work. I'm actually surprised it took them a whole half-hour."

"He _did_ grow fond of them, didn't he," Nayru said affectionately. "I remember we had our doubts about letting him tag along, but I am _so_ glad we did. Courage would probably be dead if Shadow hadn't been there. And look how he's trying not to smile."

"Are you sure that's a smile?" Farore questioned. "It just looks like a pained grimace to me."

"Nah, he's smiling," Din affirmed. "Trust me on this, Power does that kind of thing all the time and it's usually when he's pleased but doesn't want to show it."

"Well then," Farore said, smiling. "I am glad to have him as an aspect of my Attribute."

"Hang on, why do you get him?" Din demanded. "Power made him, if anything he's part of my Attribute!"

"You'll notice his title is not 'Dark Ganon'," Farore said smugly. "I'm simply going by what he is."

"He's a Dark Link," Nayru put in, earning herself an annoyed glare from her red-colored sister.

"...Shut up," she grumbled.

* * *

"I am legitimately wondering why I ever decided to give you all a second chance," Demise muttered. The newest addition to the inside of his head, Hyrule Ganondorf, growled something not meant for suitable company and some _thud_ noises told Demise that he was taking out his frustrations on someone.

It was probably Zant.

"I even permitted your request to travel through the timestream, and even with that absurd advantage you _still_ managed to be beaten," Demise marveled. "Verily thy name, is Incompetence."

_They should have fallen!_ Hyrule Ganondorf raged. _There was no logical reason for them to win! The odds were insurmountable!_

"And yet," Demise said dryly, "they did. You may want to rethink your 'insurmountable odds'."

Hyrule Ganondorf hissed something in the Gerudo native tongue and went back to pummeling Zant. Demise could tell because of the squeaky noises.

_...There was a pale one,_ he said abruptly. _He didn't like it when I threatened the younger ones. _

_None of them like it when you threaten the younger ones,_ Hyrule Ganon put in. _Trust me, the wolf-one has a temper when he wants to._

_Yes, I noticed that,_ Hyrule Ganondorf said dryly. _In any case, the __only_ _reason I was defeated was because they were simply too stubborn to die, and because my own creation turned against me, the blasphemous traitor._

"Perhaps, if you had not abandoned him and made him quite so angry that he felt the need to stab you in the head, the outcome of your fight would have gone differently," Demise observed.

_He was useless to me. I simply disposed of him. How was I to know he would hold a grudge?_

"How indeed," Demise said mockingly. "Zant, if you would tell us how the Hero of Twilight reacted to being turned into an animal?"

_Ooh, ooh, I know this one! He hunted me down and stabbed me through the chest, then usurped my throne for that little wannabe Princess imp and undid all the hard work I'd put in to make the Twilight cover everything for all eternity! It wasn't fun at all! Nobody wore Peahats!_

_Which translated,_ Twilight Ganondorf growled, _means, 'Of course he came back to kill you, that's what Links do'. Truly, your lack of intelligence staggers me._

_Oh, shut up, like you did any better!_

_WHAT DID YOU SAY!?_

The sound of clashing metal filled Demise's head yet again, but the Demon King merely sighed and blocked it out with the ease of long practice. While he had dearly hoped his Hatred Incarnations were going to be competent this time around, all evidence was pointing to the contrary.

Not that he minded much, This simply meant that he would have all the opportunity to crush the Heroes like the gnats they were when the time came.

* * *

**...I felt like being sappy, okay? Shadow's grown on me, he really has. Even though his personality gives me headaches sometimes because he would absolutely say profanity in such-and-such situation and then I have to go and find a way around that... I'd miss the guy if I made him leave.**

**Well, that and it made for a nice bonding moment. And the world needs more of those. **

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to SuperKaiokenX, Shitaro, nesguy, KingPlazma, 8 Terrowin 8, Taiyo-chan the Neko Writer, PokeKing Charizard, Kegami96, Seaman109, grovyleTheGreat, I'mtotallyawesomelyAWESOMEkeese, XLisaForever, LaZella, dreadfort1453, Neon12134, Vulaan Kulaas, and Iritails for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**The has-been who never will-be: I admit, I was wondering who would possibly leave a review just to say 'hi'... wait, were you the one who left random smile faces and reviewed once a day for a week straight saying 'Update!'? / I was unaware calling Lore ADHD was offensive to anybody. I've been tested for ADD myself (apparently I'm borderline under just enough that I don't qualify, but I'm very close), and most of the time I just channel my personality into him. I can stop if you'd like... / The most random thing I've ever done... still probably the time I went frolicking in a rainstorm without shoes or an umbrella. I laughed like an idiot. / Les Mis is an anime? ...Huh. **


	55. Chapter 54

**Guess what?**

** We've hit three-hundred follows. AND three-hundred favorites.**

** We're also only fifty reviews away from one thousand.**

** Never in my wildest imaginings did I imagine that this odd little idea in my head would become so popular. You guys have stuck with me through plot-holes, a currently-ongoing rewrite, typos, accidental British profanity, and more delays than I'd like to admit, and I cannot say thank you enough for that.**

** I guess there must be something I'm doing right :) **

** Oh, and before I forget – I do not own the Legend of Zelda.**

* * *

About half-an-hour after the group had convinced Shadow to stay, their dynamic suggested that nothing had even happened in the first place. This was mostly due to Shadow himself, who viewed the whole incident with a mixture of vast embarrassment, annoyance, and indifference and coped with it by deciding to pretend it didn't exist. But since this was normal Shadow behavior, nobody minded much and humored him, with the result being that if one were to ask about the incident, the response you would receive would be somewhere along the lines of, "He did _what? When?_"

Basically, it didn't happen, never had happened, and never would happen as long as Shadow had anything to say about it.

This made an excellent reason to move on, however, and the Links took full advantage of it by migrating back into the Temple of Time and finishing the, 'We're Finally Our Normal Ages!' festivities that had been interrupted earlier.

"Seriously though, let's never do that again if we can help it," Gen said fervently. "I was ten for a whole year already and that was enough for me."

"Where will you go then?" Zelda asked curiously. "Now that Ganondorf has been defeated and this... 'rift' is open again?"

"Dunno," Mask said, frowning. "It's kinda random...ish. But we've never been in the same place twice so far, and the only people who's Hyrules we haven't visited are... Speck, the Four, and Gen."

"Well, I have good news there," Speck chipped in. "I don't have a Ganondorf."

There was a vast sigh of relief from just about everyone in the room.

"...Who do you have then?" Realm asked after a moment.

"Well, we fought a version of him way back in the beginning, but mine doesn't look like a giant bat. His name's Vaati, and he looks like us, just purple."

"**Ours is Vaati too,**" the Four contributed. "**He does look like a bat, though, but he didn't talk much. He seemed kind of crazy, actually.**"

"So we've got a second Mr. Pudgy Bat and a Mr. Purple Not-Bat," Lore summarized, nodding. "Or something along those lines, I'll have to work on that."

"You seem to be very used to this," Zelda observed.

"We've had practice," Dusk told her sagely.

"So I've heard," Zelda smiled. "In that case, I shall leave you to it. Nayru knows I have a lot of work to do rebuilding Hyrule from the damage Ganondorf caused, not to mention convincing the people that your fight with him was an illusion caused by 'swamp gas' in order to prevent mass panic. And I'm going to have to explain where I've been the past seven years, review all the laws of the land and catch up on _all_ my studies that I've been neglecting in favor of spying, boost morale, organize the clean-up, form a squad to exterminate the Gibdos in Castle Town, hire carpenters to rebuild Castle Town, start a collection to fund the rebuilding of Castle Town..."

She trailed off, muttering to herself about everything she needed to get done, and making the Links feel incredibly grateful that they didn't have to deal with messes like that. Or, rather, that they didn't have to stick around and deal with the messes they made like that.

They weren't very good at taking responsibility for the consequences, now that they thought about it.

"Well... er... let us know if you need funding," Ocarina said lamely. Zelda flapped a hand at him absently.

"Maybe after you've saved the universe, okay?"

"And on that note," Gen inserted, "we should get going. We left our ride back in Hyrule Field and it's a bit of a walk, if I'm remembering this correctly."

"I don't even care," Blue sighed. "I'm just happy I _can_ walk."

"**True that,**" the Four agreed, nodding.

"Actually," Wind said, holding up a silver baton. "I've been there before, so..."

"Yeah, that's a much better idea," Gen agreed. "Seriously though, why does it only work for places you've already been to?"

Wind shrugged. "I guess I need to know where I'm going to go there? And I had to do a lot of backtracking in the islands, so it came in handy."

"Can't argue with that."

"What?" Lore protested. "Yes you can, everything can be argued! For example, I could argue about the color, I could argue about the musical tones, I could argue the length of the wand-"

Wind, ignoring him with the ease of long practice, waved the Wind Waker in necessary pattern and called up the concentrated storm that transported them all. Lore, meanwhile, was still talking.

"-could argue the storage capacity, I could argue the friction resistance, I could argue the..."

Zelda, watching the whole thing, could still hear him as the wind took them away, fading into the distance. She just shook her head sympathetically.

* * *

The Links arrived at their destination with windblown hair and a couple attempted escapee hats, though those had been quickly caught and reaffixed to the proper head. With that done, the group found themselves standing in front of the hole-

...that they'd left seven years ago.

"...Farore," Ocarina gasped weakly.

Most of the rest of the group just gaped. And Lore, in one of his uncommon moments of seriousness, said, "Alright guys, take a good look. This is what's gonna happen if we don't win."

Hyrule Field – literally _all_ of Hyrule Field – was gone. In its place was an absolutely colossal void, stretching far into the sky and surrounding landscape. What they could see of Castle Town in the distance looked utterly abandoned, which was somehow worse than seeing it populated with Gibdos, because at least then it'd been _populated_.

"Do you think the people got absorbed?" Red asked quietly. "Or maybe they just left?"

"I'm gonna hope they left and not think any further into it," Mask said, thoroughly depressed. Ocarina didn't look much better.

"Guys," Speck said slowly. "If this is what Hyrule looks like after only seven years, then... what happened farther down the timeline?"

At this point, most of the Links were _from_ a Hyrule farther down the timeline, and everybody flinched violently. Dusk looked disturbed, Steam and Wind were gaping blankly at each other, Lore was scowling at the ground, and Red was in outright tears while his three brothers attempted not to follow suit. Sketch looked as though he was going to be sick, and Realm appeared to have stopped responding entirely. Ocarina and Mask were wondering how long it would take before their entire Hyrule was dissolved, and Speck, the Four, and Gen traded looks with each other, knowing that any holes opened in their earlier Hyrules would have exponential consequences on the ones they'd already been to. Shadow, on the other hand, wasn't one for showing his feelings, even after the incident-which-had-not-happened-I-don't-know-what-you're-talking-about. So he just shrugged and looked generally uncomfortable with the thought.

"Even when we're winning, we're losing," Steam growled suddenly, and made to punch something to let his feelings out. Unfortunately the closest something happened to be Realm, who promptly began developing a bruise but other than that showed no signs of responding. "If we don't fight the villains, they ruin Hyrule because they can. If we do fight the villains, they leave a void that will literally destroy everything! How are we supposed to deal with this!?"

"Calm down," Dusk interrupted. "Look, we've been working our way to the source for weeks now. We know we have at least_ some_ divine intervention on our side because, unlike everything else, we can go through the hole without being erased from existence." He held up his left hand to demonstrate, where his Triforce was glowing brightly due to the proximity of the void. "It seems pretty apparent to me that at least _one, _if not more, of the gods want us to succeed and are giving their aid so that we will, which above anything else tells us that it's _possible._"

He made sure to meet everyone's eyes before finishing with, "We know who caused the problem, right? And we even have a chance to learn from our last fight with him and not make the same mistakes. We beat Demise, we remove the source of the holes."

"You make it sound so easy," Gen said mournfully, remembering the beating they'd all received the last time. Although, come to think of it... they shouldn't have survived back then. Dusk was right, he admitted, at least about that divine intervention stuff.

"So in other words, no moping unless we've absolutely positively failed for real," Wind summarized.

"Which we haven't done yet," Sketch pointed out, already gaining a more positive attitude.

"Oh good, the sad part's already over," Lore sighed. "Never liked that part."

"The... sad part?"

"Yeah, that part in your adventure when you feel like everything's hopeless and you're going to fail no matter what you do," Lore explained. "I've been practicing avoiding them, but you all don't know how yet and dragged me along into it anyways. Luckily it's over now."

"...yeah, sure, why not," Blue decided, having become accustomed to Lore's eccentricities a _long_ time ago. "So... jumping in the hole?"

"Jumping in the hole," Lore confirmed.

Everyone duly jumped into the hole.

* * *

"I was kind of hoping that wouldn't happen," Farore said sadly.

"What, that he wouldn't figure out the real weight of the problem? You do know that's literally his job description, right?" Din checked.

"That doesn't mean I like putting Courage through it," Farore sighed. "It's hard on him, you know?"

"Some of the aspects _are_ only ten years old," Nayru pointed out.

"...Ah," Din said in understanding. "Well... look at it this way. Maybe now they won't goof off as much and get more done in the timespan they know they have now."

Both her sisters gave Din flat looks.

"With the leadership they've got?" Nayru said bluntly.

"Not to mention Shadow's antics?" Farore added.

"And the pranking?"

"And their general level of insanity?"

"I get it," Din interrupted. "Although, the fact that this is under the 'Humor' category is probably another reason-"

_"DIN!"_ Farore hissed, smacking her sister upside the head. _"Mind the walls!"_

"Honestly, here they're more fragile than ever and you go around saying stuff like _that?"_ Nayru tsked. "For shame."

"I cannot wait until the Universe gets fixed," Din grumbled.

* * *

"Alright, show of hands," Gen said. "Who knows where we are?"

After a moment of silence where everyone looked around and frowned in confusion at unfamiliar surroundings, the Four slowly raised their hands.

"**This looks like our Hyrule,**" they opined.

"Given the fact that only Gen, you Four and me are the only ones who haven't had to fight our villain yet we don't really have many options to guess between anymore," Speck added. "Although, some of this landscape _does _look familiar..."

"That'd be the lack of a timeline split in the works," Lore said breezily. Everyone except Mask and Ocarina, who were nodding like that statement somehow made sense, stared at him.

"...What?"

"Exactly! Now, who's butt are we kicking this time around?"

Really, the Links thought to themselves, Lore ought to concern them _so_ much more than he did, but unfortunately acclimatization was a thing and Lore had made it a point to acclimatize them all to his strangeness _ages_ ago so he could get away with stuff like his previous sentence. Upon realizing this, however, the group also realized that there was nothing they could do about it because nobody was concerned enough to care anymore.

"**His name is Vaati,**" the Four said after coming to this conclusion. "**He's a giant purple bat with one big eyeball, but he's not much like the one we fought in Blue, Vio, Red, and Green's Hyrule. He's a lot more... unstable.**"

"Unstable how?" Wind asked.

"**Well, we're not entirely sure what his plan even was... he just liked pretty girls. We're fairly sure the only reason he kidnapped Zelda in the first place was because she was pretty. He tried to marry her.**"

"You stopped that, I hope?" Steam asked pointedly.

"**Well, yeah. He just never seemed to have a plan beyond getting hitched, is all. It was kinda weird.**"

"So there was never, like, some sort of prophecy about an unholy match between a demon and a princess?" Ocarina checked. "Or like, Zelda had some sort of Light Magic that Vaati was after and marriage for some reason was part of a spell that would allow him to drain it?"

"...Dude, what fairy tales have you been reading?" Sketch questioned blankly.

"Actually I'm pretty sure one of those happened," Blue said thoughtfully. "I mean, the demon was more like a giant fire-breathing turtle and everything looked like paper and I _think_ there was a plumber involved and some sort of dimensional shift gimmick? But yeah, that whole prophecy one isn't all that far-"

He was abruptly cut off as his three siblings and Shadow smacked him and stopped just short of decapitating him respectively.

"One of these days," Green sighed, "you'll remember to stop breaking things and your days will become so much less painful."

"Looking forward to it," Blue squeaked, not taking his eyes off Shadow's sword which was still resting on his collarbone. Red frowned at the darker Link.

"Shadow, quit it," he scolded. "We don't waste Death Threats on siblings, remember? World-destroying villains only."

"Yeah, whatever," Shadow snorted, but sheathed his weapon anyways and proceeded to act as though he'd been about to do that regardless.

"Four, you were saying?" Vio prompted as Blue got back to his feet.

"**Actually, that was about it. He wasn't a very cohesive enemy.**"

Mask let out a huff. "Well that's... odd. But I guess that makes it easier on us, maybe he won't be as motivated as some of the others have been. What did he fight like?"

"Maybe we ought to move as we talk," Realm interrupted before anyone else could speak. "I mean, the universe _is_ dying and stuff, and we kinda need to find the guy in order to beat him, so... I mean, obviously I shouldn't be leading, we all know that's a terrible idea, I just thought that... yeah."

"...He's got a point," Steam agreed.

"Walk and talk then!" Lore exclaimed, launching himself off in a randomly chosen direction. "And now we're walking. So let's take care of talking and answer Mask's question, eh?"

"**We don't know,**" the Four said.

There was a moment of silent walking.

"Crud," Ocarina decided.

"**We went to confront him and stuff, but when we got there he was already gone. The only thing we actually needed to do was help Princess Zelda out of the wedding dress because she couldn't reach the zipper.**"

"We might be able to use our experience fighting the Vaati from our Hyrule," Vio surmised. "Given that they seem to be at least somewhat of the same person, I think that would be a viable start."

"So... what, hookshots again?" Gen said, frowning. "A lot of us still don't have any, though."

"I should really get that fixed," Steam muttered, and the other hookshot-less Links nodded ruefully in agreement.

"They have proven quite useful," Vio sighed.

"Well, you can count me out of the needy group," Shadow yawned, stretching. "If this guy is anything like the Vaati I worked with back when I was tormenting the color-named dorks here, I bet he can be exploded."

"_Why_ do you know that?" Green asked after a moment of silence. Shadow gave them all a Happy Mask Salesman(tm) smile and casually spawned one of his bigger-than-he-was bombs in his left hand.

"No particular reason," he said, and tossed the explosive up and down playfully. "I only experimented on him twice. Compared to how many times I experimented on his army I kinda expected him to have more endurance..."

"Put that away before you break something," Dusk scolded.

"Well when did you become such a party pooper?" Shadow mourned, though he did as asked and slipped the bomb back into whatever subspace pocket it came from. "You used to all run screaming whenever I pulled one of those out."

"Yeah we did, didn't we?" Realm frowned. "When did that happen?"

"About a month ago during the-"

"No, I mean, when did we stop?" Realm clarified.

Everyone considered that, then shrugged.

"**What does this have to do with Vaati?**" the Four wondered.

"They've got a point, we're way off topic," Wind said. "Again."

"Is it weird that it's more common for us to be _off_ topic?"

"Probably."

"We're doing it again," Sketch groaned.

"Okay, so the current plan is to bring him down with hookshots and then explode him?" Steam checked.

"And I guess we can improvise after that, since there's not a lot we know about him," Gen agreed.

"**Sorry...**"

"It's not your fault, the universe died before you guys could fight him," Gen replied. "Speaking of him, though, any ideas where he might be?"

The Four contemplated that. "**He might go after pretty girls again...**"

"But there's how many girls in your Hyrule?" Vio asked. "Even if we went and checked on all of them there's no telling how long that would take us, not to mention that Vaati may take someone that we can't get to in time."

"He took Zelda last time though, right?" Red asked. "Wouldn't he try again? If that makes sense, I mean?"

"**He might,**" the Four allowed. "**You never know.**"

"If we're trying to lure him out though, wouldn't it make more sense to just gather the pretty girls in one place?"

"That'd put them in danger," Speck said. "And besides, how would we convince them to be bait for us?"

"Disguise it as a beauty contest," Lore said as though it was obvious.

Everyone paused.

"...That's actually not a terrible idea," Realm admitted. "But... I don't know the first thing about beauty contests."

"I don't think any of us do," Mask agreed.

"That's alright, most of us aren't pretty enough for the disguise to work anyhow," Lore said thoughtfully.

"Wait, what?"

"Well, _obviously_ someone has to enter to keep the other girls safe, right?"

There was a moment of blank, disbelieving silence.

"...Welp, I'm out," Shadow announced, and vanished into Dusk's shadow to hide for the next few days.

"Just to clarify, here," Gen said slowly. "Your plan is for us to dress like girls, enter a beauty contest that the we're going to also judge, and act like bait for when Vaati shows up presumably looking for a new wife?"

"I think you're a pale-blue-and-cream-dress kinda girl," Lore mused, looking his co-leader over. "Definitely not violet, though, that would clash with your skin tone."

"...He's right," Wind offered awkwardly.

"I am not wearing a dress!"

"Well it can't be me, I'm much too ruggedly handsome," Lore replied offhandedly. "Completely wrong jawline for it. You've got one of those faces that could go either way depending on how you accessorize. Though, we could put Speck in a dress, he's young enough that nobody would really notice."

"I'd really rather not," Speck murmured.

"Is this legitimately our only idea?" Dusk broke in. "Staging a beauty contest and posing as contestants is truly our best option?"

"**...Honestly, it might be,**" the Four said reluctantly. "**He goes after pretty girls. Gathering a bunch in one place is likely our best bet at finding him aside from roaming the country randomly.**"

"Let's do that instead," Gen said quickly.

"That takes days, though," Steam pointed out. "Remember how long it took us to find Malladus?"

"That was partly because you let Realm drive the Train," Sketch accused.

"That was before I knew better! And that's not even the point, what I'm trying to say here is that luring Vaati in might be our quickest option based on what the Four have told us."

"So... we're _actually_ doing this?" Mask checked.

Gen groaned. "Farore, why me?"

"Not you," Wind said quickly. "Not necessarily. We should look at this carefully."

"Come to think of it, you're good with clothes and things, aren't you," Ocarina remembered. "Could you tell who would look the best in a dress?"

Wind frowned, then carefully sized everyone up.

"...Yes," he decided. "But _only_ if we're actually legitimately doing this and the people I pick are okay with it."

"That depends on who you pick," Realm said neutrally.

"Mask and/or Ocarina, Speck, Sketch, and any single or variable combination of Red, Vio, Green, and Blue," Wind listed, looking apologetic.

"HECK NO!" Blue bellowed.

"I'm inclined to agree with that sentiment," Vio seconded.

Green grimaced. "I mean, I'd rather not, but if it's necessary..."

"Can I wear pants underneath?" Red asked cautiously. "Because this is gonna be really uncomfortable otherwise."

"Sure," Wind assured him. "Green and Red, then, along with the other guys I mentioned."

"Why me and Ocarina?" Mask questioned. Wind gave them both another careful scrutiny.

"Putting it bluntly, you two are pretty-boys," he informed them. "I believe the term is 'bishonen'?"

"That's the term, yeah," Vio agreed.

Neither Hero of Time quite knew how to respond to that.

"Technically, Dusk can also pass as 'bishonen'," Wind continued, "but he's got this whole 'don't mess with me' vibe going on and I'm guessing that's the last thing we need for a beauty contest."

"I never thought being turned into a wolf would help me avoid female clothing," Dusk commented thoughtfully.

"It's a strange world," Wind nodded. "But anyways, are you two alright with this?"

Ocarina and Mask exchanged glances.

"...I've done weirder," Mask shrugged.

"And apparently I will do weirder," Ocarina said, "so I guess we're both in."

"Din, I'm going to regret this," Sketch muttered. "Alright, let's get it over with. The sooner I start the sooner I can leave."

"Is it too late to shrink down and pull a Shadow?" Speck asked hopefully.

"Nobody's going to make you participate," Wind said. "If you don't want to, just say so."

Speck grimaced. "Well now you're just making me feel guilty..."

"But I didn't even guilt-trip you," Wind frowned, confused.

"I know, but I feel like you did. Just don't make the dress sparkly, okay?"

"Sparkles with_ your _skin color?" Wind pulled a face. "That would look terrible."

Speck snorted.

"Hey, it's true," Wind defended. "Anyways, now we just need to spread the word and pick out dresses, I guess."

"I shall spread the word!" Lore declared with an expression that immediately made everyone fear for the villagers.

"And I'll be making sure you don't traumatize anybody in the process," Gen said quickly. Lore scowled.

"I'll help with that," Dusk volunteered neutrally.

"Aw, can't I have _any_ fun?"

"The last time you had 'fun', you got kicked out of an entire settlement," Dusk reminded him bluntly. "Therefore, no, you do not get to have 'fun'."

"Awwww..."

"Ocarina, Mask, Sketch, Speck, Green, and Red, can you guys come with me?" Wind continued. "We need to head to a shop."

"The sooner I get it over with," Sketch muttered, steeling himself, "the sooner I can leave."

"Amen to that," Green agreed grudgingly, and they all followed Wind down into the small town off in the distance.

"...What about the rest of us?" Steam wondered.

"Projectiles contest?"

"_Another_ one?"

"I don't know, it was the best idea I had," Realm defended.

"I've got an idea," Blue said. "Realm can teach us that shooty thingie that his sword does."

"Okay first, it's called a sword beam," Realm lectured. "Second, it has almost nothing to do with me and everything to do with my weapon."

"Neither of those are good reasons to not teach us," Vio pointed out.

Realm grinned sheepishly. "Third, I lost my sword sometime after we came through the portal."

There was a chorus of resigned groans.

"_**Again?**_" the Four checked disbelievingly.

"Hey, I broke my previous record!" Realm pointed out optimistically. "I held onto it for all of a week and a half this time!"

* * *

"Red is not your color," Wind informed Ocarina.

"My Goron Tunic is red, though," Ocarina replied, confused.

"That doesn't mean it looks _good_ on you, that just means that it's red. And I'm telling you, red does not look good with your coloring."

Ocarina looked over at Mask. "Were you aware we don't look good in red?"

Mask just shrugged, bewildered. "I'm still trying to figure out what a 'periwinkle' is, dude."

"Well I can tell you that periwinkle is _not_ bringing out your eye color," Wind complained. "Can you go and try on that lavender?"

"Uhh... sure?"

"And Sketch," Wind continued, "I _told_ you that yellow was a bad idea, why didn't you listen?"

"This is yellow?" Sketch echoed, looking down at his outfit in surprise.

Wind sighed. _"Technically _it's an earth-tone ochre, but the basic hue is yellow. And it looks terrible on you."

"How was I supposed to know?"

"Use your eyes, Sketch," Wind lamented. "Use your eyes."

Meanwhile, Green and Red stood off to the side clutching their determined outfits in a neat folded pile. The perks of being a colored Link meant that you already had an assigned color which automatically looked great on you, and Wind had enough to deal with that he'd all but pounced on the predetermined affinity.

"...should we be changing or something?" Red wondered.

"Let's not and keep quiet about it, maybe Wind won't notice," Green replied.

"I heard that!"

"For the Love of Nayru!" Green cursed.

Wind sighed. "Look, if it bothers you this much, just think of the dress like a longer tunic-"

He paused, a slow smile starting on his face as an idea came to him. "Actually... how about I just alter the dresses _into_ tunics? Women wear tunics all the time, and it's technically nothing different compared to what we're wearing now. What do you think of that?"

"Uh... sure?"

"Trust me, I know what I'm talking about," Wind reassured him, before turning and yelling, "Speck, whatever you think you're picking out is a bad idea!"

"I didn't even choose anything yet!"

"You were thinking about that orange monstrosity on the left-hand shelf," Wind said bluntly, and marched away to prevent what was apparently a disaster waiting to happen.

"Okay, that's seriously creepy," Sketch noted, crumpling the discarded ochre outfit into his arms and depositing it back on the shelf in a travesty of it's former neatly-folded state. "It's like he's got a sixth sense for whenever someone's committing a crime against fashion."

"While that may be true, Wind is shockingly good," Mask said, giving Ocarina a once-over. "He was right, you and I look _really_ bad in red."

Ocarina shrugged. "Personally, I would take the immunity to volcanos over being able to strut our stuff. There's not much point in looking good while you stab a dodongo if the only thing around to appreciate your outfit is said dodongo."

"Hard to be admired when you've just killed your audience" Green agreed.

* * *

Lore, Gen, and Dusk took one look at the town, noted the significant lack of feminine presence and the fact that all the men seemed to be arming themselves for an invasion, took in the buildings that looked like they'd just weathered a hurricane, and came to one highly depressing conclusion.

"They went and had the beauty contest without us!" Lore cried indignantly. "And before we even had a chance to advertise it! How rude – and impressively psychic."

"...I don't even want to know how you came to that conclusion," Gen decided.

"I think you meant to say that Vaati's already been here?" Dusk suggested.

Lore blinked, although it was unclear whether or not he was actually confused or just being himself. "He has? But we haven't held the beauty contest yet, he wasn't supposed to invade until tomorrow!"

"Villains don't run on schedules," Gen ground out.

"Rather inconsiderate of them, I'd say."

"Lore," Dusk said neutrally. "Save it for after the rescue."

"Why do kidnapping always sap the fun from a situation?" Lore bemoaned, and immediately dropped his random personality to swap in his much-less-used serious one. "Right, let's go save the village maidens and probably Princess Zelda from the scary purple bat."

With that, he marched back the way they'd came to round up the rest of the group and inform them of the new circumstances. Gen gave Dusk an incredulous look.

"One day," he said, "you have _got_ to teach me how you do that."

"Do what?"

"You literally just say his name – that's it – in this certain tone you have, and he stops. He's _serious_. It only lasts for like, an hour, but you can make Lore be serious and I don't understand how you do it."

Dusk shrugged. "Well, the way I see it, Lore is the 'fun' part of our leadership. No offense."

"Some taken," Gen said, frowning. "But continue."

"It's not that you're _not_ fun," Dusk corrected himself quickly. "But Lore's kind of... he's the spontaneity, you know? He's the one who keeps our mood lighthearted and he brings laughter. I get the feeling that, he's seen so much before he met us that he only takes so many things seriously now. And, you can kind of tell when he knows something's serious, but he won't always show it because I think he values keeping the group bright and happy."

"That... makes sense..." Gen said slowly. "But that doesn't exactly answer my question..."

"Somewhere along the line I became his gauge for when he needs to get things done?" Dusk offered hesitantly. "It's sort of like this balance, maybe. He's the lightheartedness/craziness/fun, and you're the down-to-earth/reason. He makes the mess and you're able to do damage control. Literally, since you're our medic and all."

"And you're the protectiveness/adaptability/glue," Gen replied. "You anchor Lore and I so that we don't take each other's heads off when he drives me nuts and I yell at him."

"I'm more of a Beta," Dusk said near-instantly. Gen gave him a flat, unconvinced look.

"Say what you want, man," he smirked. "I'm just telling it like I see it. And personally, I've seen that this whole 'dual-leadership' thing has actually been a fully-functioning trio-leadership for weeks now."

Dusk gaped. "But – I don't-"

"I can and will list evidence for this," Gen mock-threatened. "There's just now, when you made Lore be serious. Then there's last week when you calmed me down after we all got de-aged seven years, not to mention the fact that you basically took full charge of everything in order to take care of the toddler group. You're the one who noticed Shadow was gone and led us all to go get him back. Before that you practically disintegrated Lore's Ganon when he almost crushed Speck, and even before all that I'm pretty sure you've been 'the sane one' for _ages_-"

"Okay," Dusk interrupted. "Point taken. Apparently I'm one third of a joint leadership that I didn't know existed."

"Thank you," Gen said. "Don't tell Lore."

"Technically, doesn't he already know?" Dusk wondered. "I mean, he uses me to gauge when he needs to be serious."

"...Din, you're right," Gen realized. "How did he figure this out before either of us did?"

* * *

It took a good few hours to get everybody rounded up. Gen and Dusk caught up to Lore fairly easily, and the three of them found Wind and his models without much trouble since they hadn't moved far from the store. It was the rest of the group that posed the problem.

It turned out that Realm had lost his sword again, which had naturally pulled him and the Links helping him look into a multiple-hour-long search with an almost ridiculously unbelievable amount of monster encounters, wrong turns, backtracks, and Like-likes which had somehow ended with all eight of the Link involved in the search lost in a cave on an island in the middle of a lake, and none of them could figure out how they'd gotten there.

"He's contagious," Blue grumbled by way of an explanation once the rest of the Links rescued their siblings from their predicament. "He is literally contagious, I swear."

"I found my sword, though!" Realm said brightly. "And it only took sixteen encounters with Like-likes this time!"

"Never mind that," Gen said, brushing over the absurdity with the ease of practice. "We've got a problem. Vaati's already been here."

"**...Admittedly, we thought he would take longer,**" the Four sighed. "**Our bad, guys.**"

"It's not your fault, he's an insane demonic mammalian sorcerer," Mask said "How were you supposed to know what he was thinking?"

"Well if we had a transmutative hydrogen peroxide telekinetic spherical square, it would have been easy," Lore informed them. "But since we don't, the Four are officially free from blame."

"...Okay, literally _none_ of those words had anything to do with reading minds," Gen complained. "What even _is_ hydrogen peroxide and how can a square be spherical?"

"Ask the square," Lore shrugged. "I don't know how he does it, he just does."

Dusk sighed heavily. "Focus, everyone."

"Right, sorry. Anyways, we need to revamp the 'Beauty Contest' plan and launch a 'Rescue the Maidens' plan instead. Four, do you guys remember where Vaati lives?"

"**There was a mountain,**" the Four said. "**He had a palace on top of it.**"

"Lead the way, then," Gen instructed, and the group fell in behind as they all moved out.

They traveled in silence for a few minutes.

"...Green," Blue said abruptly, in tones of wary confusion. "What are you wearing?"

Green blinked and looked down at his clothes, and promptly realized that, in the rush caused by the discovery of Vaati's whereabouts, he was still wearing the tunic-dress-thing that Wind had thrown together for him. For that matter, so was Red, Mask, Ocarina, Sketch, _and_ Speck. None of them had remembered to put their normal uniform back on.

"How'd we miss that?" Speck asked Ocarina, bewildered. Ocarina shrugged, equally clueless.

"You look ridiculous," Vio opined. He was backed up by Steam letting out a fierce snicker, Blue outright guffawing while Lore cackled hysterically, and Realm smiling into his hand.

"Look, I'll admit that the fit still needs work," Wind argued, defending his choices. "But you've got to admit, I picked _great_ colors on them."

"Ivory _does_ make Mask's eyes stand out," Dusk agreed neutrally, being one of the few Links who wasn't actively laughing or wearing said tunic-dress-thing.

"How are you guys going to fight while wearing that?" Gen asked.

"Carefully," Wind said, giving his models a pointed look. "_Very_ carefully. I spent a lot of work picking out that fabric."

Sketch let out a curse as something occurred to him. "We've gotta climb a mountain in this getup!"

"I'm sure it can't be that bad," Red said optimistically, which made everyone around him re-evaluate his sanity. "Princess Zelda does it every day, and she survived a kidnapping and came out looking perfectly normal. If she can do it, why can't we?"

There was a moment of silence as the six dress-wearing Links considered that.

* * *

"Can't be that bad, you said."

"Well-"

"Princess Zelda does it every day, you said."

"She does, you know, and technically-"

"If she can do it, why can't we, you said!"

"Okay, so it's harder than it looks!" Red cried. "Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Sketch grumbled and gave the hem of his dress-tunic-thing another sharp tug, while a few steps ahead Ocarina tripped over excess fabric for the umpteenth time in a row and Speck futilely tried to keep his skirt from mimicking an umbrella.

"However girls manage to deal with these things," Sketch growled, "they deserve _so_ much more credit than they get."

"And technically, girls are wearing this outfit in heels," Wind informed him, walking up and freeing the hem from the sparse shrub that Sketch was caught on. The painted Link turned pale at the thought.

"I will never complain to Zelda to run faster ever again."

* * *

**Because if Triforce Heroes can do it, why can't I? Plus, now Sketch can get used to it early. He **_**is**_** canonically the Link who deals with Hytopia, after all.**

**I'm beginning to suspect I enjoy putting the group in awkward situations.**

**Until next time,**

**Changeling**

* * *

**Thanks to poBBpC, TheFlamekid, vindicare241, zavegonzo, Zero2184, firestarter09, TheSaintAssassin, TheOverlord2, Angel Fantasy, Johnny Spectre, Mashked, zavegonzo, mystery8icarus, Cheshire000000, utuberforway, MelloTheMelonhead, Artorias132, grimtim9, pu****mpkinwaffles4243, Itherael, kayre459, TVD66, Nanhty, Nightwriter18, Kylunethil, BeltofOrion, Typhoon285, Eidorian999, FluidMedal, TheHeroOfLorule, Kegami96, russub19, Lifeisbeautifulandpretty, MaskedSilence, Garion1, Midkup, nine-tailed triforce, Kaji-Kun93, TheOnlyRenegade, SoraAlucard, niacdoial shadow98000, quandani939, hlf1495, ****fatimaestrellitadeplatagmail, Evekle, Who-needs-names, N-chan9979, Jacob Strider, TheLilyoftheValley, Camomelon, LordChrom 7, Ibeth MB, pandoraElf, ejr1999, Snivy24, Scraps off the Tapestry, xXFIRSTRoboXx, theMusicofyourSoul, AL-X PZ, Gfish59, Magyk-Foal1, Vio 16, IPSniffer, Doctor Homicide 157, ZGMF-X71T, Guajardo, TheWhiteKnight2K16, HisuiOnyx, AngelofTwilight99, Mbro, tropermariko, DJDerpCookie, Laties228, outcast247, Kyumi07, Jason M. Lee, zack the wolf, The Black Cat 666, Thero13, Unedaread, Shador, Nianque, ScreamingSeeker, Yamber, SamchowFTW, bigyihsuan, TheWormj, shadowslayer2015, My Little Dodongo, Reclusive Dork, ACE Knighthawk OMEGA, ****Pr0serpina****, ****LibraryNexus****, ****canvas-panda****, ****Mitsuki Sakata****, ****AGuyWhoCan'tWrite****, ****ChuChu-Von-Lu****, ****and CymraegAndConfused for favoriting/following!**

* * *

**The has-been who never will-be: I'm familiar enough with the franchise to know that I should never ****_ever_**** play it unless I want to have nightmares for weeks. On that note... Bonnie the rabbit amuses me because he's technically supposed to be a male but has a female name. Aside from that, they all want to kill me, so I'm more on the 'regard them with ambivalence' side.**

**Shadra: Wow. Thank you. That means a lot, actually :)**


	56. 1000 Reviews Celebration

**Somehow, we hit 1,000 reviews. How we managed this, I will never, _ever_ figure out, because I honestly never thought I'd get this far. Heck, when I first started out, I didn't really think I would get anywhere. I mean, you all see how bad my writing is compared to the re-edited stuff I'm putting out nowadays. Sometimes I look back at what I wrote and I think, "How did this mediocre stuff ever catch anyone's attention like it has?"**

**I mean, look! _A thousand reviews!_ From you guys, people who have seen something they liked in this story that's literally made from the chaos of my own head, and wanted to tell me about it! It just... it boggles me, it really does.**

**Here's to you guys, because I never would have made it this far without you. And hey, here's to a future 2,000 reviews celebration. We already hit one milestone I never thought would happen. Let's see if we can't hit another ;)**

**Oh, and thank you, Ruari, the Guest who made the thousandth review and quite literally made my day. I'm sorry I couldn't reply to you personally to share my overjoyed ecstatics.**

**Changeling.**


	57. Chapter 13 is Updated

Chapter Thirteen has been updated and renamed as 'The Two Who Are Supposed to be One'. Just thought you all might be interested.

I mean, obviously you're interested if you're receiving this, because that means you're on the Mailing List which naturally means you Followed. So, thank you for being interested.

...I'm in a weird mood. Just go read the updated version already, I've made you all wait long enough.


End file.
